35 Things I Wish I’d Known in High School

I turn 35 today.

I know to some of you that may seem ancient. I can see forty over the horizon after all. When I was a teenager, I didn’t think too highly of the thirties either. Weddings are often done by that stage. Babies have usually been born. Career has been picked. What’s left other than to get wrinkles? But as I crest the hill of my mid-thirties I can assure you I won’t be picking out a retirement home any time soon. I’m just getting warmed up. In fact, my thirties have been some of the best, most fruitful, most fun years of my life. One major lesson I’ve learned is the wisdom that can be gleaned from women older than me. There’s gold in them thar hills if I’m willing to mine it! I don’t have life all figured out, but God has taught me some valuable lessons since high school graduation. Here are thirty-five of them.

  1. God’s promises are true.
  2. He really does have a hope and a future for me (Jer. 29:11).
  3. The college, major, and career I pick don’t define me. I am not my work. I am a child of God.
  4. Marrying a guy who loves Jesus really, really matters.
  5. Parents are pretty cool. Their rules are for my good.
  6. Being the prettiest or most popular girl in school matters for about half a second after graduation. In contrast, being the kindest girl in school gets remembered well past your ten-year reunion.
  7. You will look back at pictures of you and think you were stunning. Trust me.
  8. Insecurity is a massive waste of time and energy. Be confident in God’s love.
  9. “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps” (Prov. 16:9). It’s okay to have a ten-year plan, but there’s a 100% chance God will interrupt it. That’s a good thing.
  10. The bands you listen to in high school will be your very favorite bands forever. Keep the t-shirts. They will be “vintage” and awesome when you’re thirty.
  11. You truly do reap what you sow. I love how Nancy Leigh DeMoss says it, “You are what you’re becoming.” Do you want to know your Bible frontwards and backwards later? Study it like crazy now. Do you want to be more like Christ someday? Be more like Him today.
  12. Broken hearts heal. Mine got broken often in high school. All these years later I’ve still never felt a pain like it. But those deep chasms are now all healed up. If your heart is broken, I promise it will heal and someone else will capture it someday.
  13. Start saving money now. I know that top at Anthropologie is super cute, but it’s also crazy overpriced. Imagine dropping that $75 in a savings account and using it for something lasting like a car, an education, or a child sponsorship. Most people think they will start saving “someday.” I wish I had developed the discipline of saving money as a high school student. While we are on the subject of money . . .
  14. Start tithing. The Bible calls all believers to tithe regardless of income. So, if you have an allowance, a part-time job or babysitting money, you have an income. Everything you make belongs to God, but there are tremendous blessings to be found in giving a portion of it back to Him. Don’t wait until you’re rolling in the dough to start tithing.
  15. The world doesn’t revolve around me. That’s a good thing.
  16. Champion others as often as possible. Instead of wanting everyone to cheer you on, figure out ways to cheer them on.
  17. Normal is a mirage. Embrace your weirdness.
  18. I know that boy gives you butterflies, but that won’t carry you through the ups and downs of life. Find someone who loves Jesus (remember point #4), but also someone who is fun to talk to and knows how to cope when the going gets tough. Then, when you least expect it, the butterflies will start to flutter in your tummy once again. Fourteen years after I married my high school sweetheart, I still get butterflies.
  19. I’ve never met someone my age who is glad she partied in high school. Ever. I’ve met lots and lots of them who regretted it. There is no long-term benefit from that scene.
  20. You don’t need a bunch of friends. You need one or two who’ve really got your back.
  21. Worry less about having the right friends and worry more about being the right friend.
  22. Be picky about your friends. The Bible says it this way, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm” (Prov. 13:20). Pick wise friends. Since Proverbs 9:10 tells us that the fear of the Lord is where wisdom begins, wise friends need to be Jesus-loving friends.
  23. Don’t be afraid to fail. Stand up in front of the class and give that speech. Try out for the lead role in the play. Start a club. You may fall on your face. You may not. But at least you went for it.
  24. You can do big things for the kingdom now. Don’t wait to get involved in ministry.
  25. Your parents don’t need to be your friends right now. They need to be your parents, and that means they make and enforce the rules. The good news is, they will likely be your friends someday. Right now God has given them the job of being in charge. Do everything you can to make that job easier.
  26. Find something you are good at and enjoy it, but don’t make it your whole life. Soccer is supposed to be fun, not stressful. So is singing, sculpting, and playing the saxophone.
  27. It’s okay to miss practice for church. In fact, church trumps activities every single time.
  28. Sometimes it’s cool to love Jesus and not the Church, but Jesus loves the Church. If there is something that could be better at your church, then get involved and make it better instead of complaining or checking out. The Church is the Bride of Christ.
  29. Your youth pastor is not your connection to God.
  30. “The things of earth will come to pass, only what’s done for Christ will last.” That’ll preach.
  31. When you get your license, it’s a license to drive, not a license to do stupid things. I know because within a few weeks of getting my license, I got caught racing on the highway and wrapped my car around a telephone pole. I drove dumb so you don’t have to.
  32. When you do something stupid to impress someone, it’s still doing something stupid, and it likely won’t impress them as much as if you did something smart. Do the smart thing instead.
  33. Your siblings are cooler than you think. When you’re thirty-five, they’ll be the people you want to grab coffee with.
  34. Nothing good happens after curfew. Go home.
  35. “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting” (Prov. 31:30). Since outward beauty cannot last, spend your time growing a beautiful heart.

About Author

Erin Davis

Erin is passionate about pointing young women toward God's Truth. She is the author of several books and a frequent speaker and blogger to women of all ages. Erin lives on a small farm in the midwest with her husband and kids. When she's not writing, you can find her herding goats, chickens, and children.

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate. We may edit or remove your comment if it:

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  • Jordan

    This post is JUST what I needed! As a girl who deals with anxiety and worrying about each of my little choices, I needed this wisdom. Thank you!! You are awesome.

  • Katelyn Q.

    #28 – what if you’ve tried to change it, but the church is so wrapped up in doing its own thing that they can’t flex the rules to accommodate the Biblical change that you want in them? I.e. the corporate structure of large churches that acts more like a government rather than a church?

    • Jesusfreak17

      That’s really sad. I would first pray for the church, that they would see how to balance order and God correctly. If it continues to be bad, I would find a new church.

    • Sarah Abbey

      I am in a crazy church situation this year that I really dislike.If it were up to me, I would have left a long time ago. But because I live with my parents, I don’t really have a choice. I have come to realize that for now, God has placed me in this situation to learn SOMETHING. I don’t know what it is yet, but he is still in control! And that has given me peace in it.

    • Sarah @ Revive Our Hearts

      Do what you can by sharing with your Pastor. Then, like Erin said, “If there is something that could be better at your church, then get involved and make it better instead of complaining or checking out. The Church is the Bride of Christ.” Once you’ve voiced your concerns to those who can do something about it (church leaders), then you have done what you can. Your job then would be to be very careful that you don’t gossip about it, or talk badly about the church or the church leaders to others.

      Love the people, Katelyn Q. Love the people and be the light of Christ in every place you serve and fellowship! Jesus went to the synagogue every Sabbath the Scriptures tell us (“as was His custom”) –and you can be sure they didn’t “run” it like He thought best! But He loved the people!

  • Becca<3

    This is such a wonderful list! Happy Birthday Erin:) You make 35 look awesome! I don’t think I’ll be one to drive crazy, I’ve had my permit for over a year and I still get nervous and super careful when I drive. My brother, on the other hand, is always talking about turbo-chargers and nitrous engines and super-charging our minivan and old suburban (he’s very into classic cars!). Let’s just hope and pray he doesn’t do anything stupid! He says that he would never race on the highway but would like to instead go to a drag strip or race in a road rally. Fantastic post again! I’ll be keeping these in mind!

  • Tabitha Joi

    Whew. #34 speaks to me! I never had a curfew (mainly because I didn’t go out much and when I did it was with pre-approved friends), but I have always said that nothing good happens after the sun goes down. It just wasn’t worth my time to get caught up with the night-time craziness…still isn’t.

    Happiest of birthdays, friend!

  • Elizabeth Williams

    Thanks so much for sharing these! These are great insights. I am only 22, but I can already see so many things that I wish I could tell my teenage self. I can only imagine how many more things I’ll have learned from experience by 35! I definitely wished I would have honored my parents more, not just obey them. I also wish I would have started investing in my relationships with my siblings sooner. I also wish I wouldn’t have worried so much about what everyone thought about me. I am very thankful that I saved money as a teen!

  • Emily

    Thank you! I really enjoy these posts, and I want to share them on Pinterest. However, when I click the pin button, it never works. Any suggestions? Thanks!

    • Elizabeth

      Same problem happens to me! 🙂

    • Carrie @ Revive Our Hearts

      Thanks for letting us know, girls. It just did the same thing for me so we’ll have our team check into it.

      Blessings,
      Carrie

  • Isabella Jo

    This was a really awesome list! I love the one about my parents be my friend later but more like parents now. They are definitely all about being parents first and friends like fifth! But, the tricky part is remembering when they are making me mad because of one thing or another, they are in charge, and they are doing what they think is best to take care of me, because they love me. If I could just keep that though in the back of my mind every time I disagreed with them I think I’d be good… 🙂

    I am getting my license super duper soon and I am so excited. Except I don’t have a car which is a huge bummer. 🙂 I’ve been saving though. That’s something my parents taught me early on!

    Oh.. Happy birthday Erin! Have an amazing day.

    • Julianna

      I got my license recently and I borrow my parents’ car whenever I need to go somewhere. Good practice of responsibility within freedom 🙂

  • MoonBrightInTheNight

    Awwww, your list is great, so fabulous. Thank you very much Erin for taking time on your birthday to encourage us in this way. I feel blessed and encouraged to have read it. God bless you <3

  • Taryn

    I have been trying really hard to get lots of friends but then I read about how you really only need a few and I was like BLAM-BUH-BLAM I got friends who have me at all times.
    Happy Birthday to you
    Happy Birthday to you
    Happy Birthday Dear Erin
    Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu 🙂 <3 :0

  • Sarah Abbey

    I love this post! It’s such a good reminder to think about my actions and their influence on my future. But at the same time, NOT to think about some things and just enjoy life! Thank you Erin! And have an incredible birthday! Praying that God blesses you even more than you can imagine in this upcoming year.

  • Teresa

    Erin, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us! And happy birthday!!!

  • Elisa

    Awesome points!

  • Grace

    And happy birthday!!!! Thanks for everything you do on this blog, it is so encouraging and helpful!!

  • Jay

    Happy birthday Erin!!! Thanks so much for writing this list! It’s so encouraging! It’s amazing how God puts everything into place in our lives, I just really needed to hear like everything on this list! I’m so thankful for everything God has done, is doing, and will do in and for my life!

  • Mcihelle

    not one to comment on blogs, but have to tell you this is SPOT ON!! Passing on to the young women in my life and reminiscing with the great friends that weathered high school with me.

  • Bookworm1

    Thank you for this post Erin, I’m so glad for some of the things you said – especially about how the thirties have been some of your best years; I must admit I’ve never really looked forward to being much older than twenties!! I have a sister and brother older than you and yet they are a whole generation older than me we get along fine 🙂 It’s good to know that some day I can look back on my teen years and giggle, smile, shake my head at my weirdness and think “wow, I was so young and naïve!” but also to thank God for these years that helped mould me into who I am. Blessings! x

  • aliyah

    Great post. Wholeheartedly agree with you, every one.

  • Victoria

    I really enjoyed your post! I myself am a teenage girl and learned a lot from this. Thank you.

  • Carol Blunier

    I also had the pinning on Pinterest problem when I clicked on the Pinterest symbol at the bottom of the post. However, when I used the Pinterest icon on my web toolbar, it worked. If you don’t have that, go to your Pinterest site and click the little box with a bunch of lines next to the search area. At the very bottom of that menu, actually under the menu, click “About.” That will allow you to download the Pin button. Then, anytime you are in any website, even one without the Pin-it button, you can pin. Ta-da! I’m thrilled I just discovered this.
    Thanks for the article. My daughter is a bit young for this, but will be entering her tweens in a few years and I want to keep this for her.

  • Lydia

    I love this! I’m not in high school yet, but this is still totally awesome!

    • Daffy2009

      Hey, most of the points she made apply to kids of all ages.

      It’s also great that you’re able to appreciate her advice even before you get to high school.

      Start acting on the points that you can, and when you get to high school, you’ll be ahead of the game! All the best to you!

  • Dancer on tip toe

    Thank you for writing this post, It came just in time! And:
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY Mrs. Erin!

  • Cool! Thanks Erin! Happy Birthday!

  • Michelle

    Thank you for this! I’m currently spending my freshman year in highschool with my first year in home school. Hopefully next year I can get into the school I want and put your advice to work. I also re-newed my faith in my savior and I want to meet some friends that love him too (I moved last summer so between homeschool and that I have no new friends to speak of). What I need most is to get better at studying (both his word and my schoolwork) so please please please pray for me. I want to be a vessel for his love be it seems these days he just wants me to sit down and get to work so it’s past time I started doing that. Anywho I will put this on my wall (after I do some school) thank you! 🙂

  • sarah

    Cute, though I can’t completely support #12. Broken hearts do not always heal.

    • Todd Bishop Dean

      They will if you give them a chance. If you keep picking at a scab, the wound won’t heal. If you let time take its course, it will. Don’t mistake misdirected memories with a broken heart.

      • Terese Cooper

        “Don’t mistake *misdirected memories* with a broken heart.” Please tell me what this means???? I really need to know!!!

    • rose

      Broken hearts heal over time and in my case God replaced the lost love with a friend who saw the hurt and came along side… for the long haul, and we got married …in the end only God can heal a broken heart.

  • Sruss745

    Really good!

  • toomuchtv

    This is a great list! I agree about disagreeing with #12, but not because of unhealed broken hearts. I disagree that someone else will absolutely capture it some day. #36 – Don’t believe “I’ll meet prince charming and live happily ever after.” Happily ever after starts with you. Prince Charming is just icing on the already awesome cake that is you.

    • Christopher Marsh

      I bet that is someone who looks like a Prince Charming. With a little more vision you may find a Prince Charming on the inside.

      • toomuchtv

        I don’t really understand what you mean, so you might be agreeing with me or maybe not. I do have hope of someday meeting my prince charming, but I won’t put off happiness in my own life until I meet him. My point, and maybe your point too, is that happiness starts with you. If I had spent the 15 post-high school years delaying happiness until I met “The One”, how unhappy would that be? Best to look inside for your happiness and not rely on external factors like love, money, fame, popularity (all the things high schoolers think are the most important).

        • Michael

          Well said. A wise man once said, “Don’t try to find the One, be the One”

        • Todd Bishop Dean

          Not sure if you’re advocating placing yourself above Christ in attaining your happiness or if by looking inside you’re including Christ in that reflection, but you cannot find true happiness by depending on yourself, solely. I’m often reminded by this in my life when my focus turns inward on myself instead of inward on the Holy Spirit dwelling within me.

          • toomuchtv

            Perhaps you’re right, and I should have mentioned God and Jesus. I almost did bring up Philippians, but that wasn’t really my point so I took it out. My point was more, “#12 implies you will find “the one” but that isn’t guaranteed, so don’t stress over that”. She covered putting God first plenty. I was just saying “Don’t put the desire for love/marriage first above your own happiness or you will be unhappy”.

            You can say “put God first and everything else will follow” but that isn’t exactly true in the literal sense. I know plenty of good, Godly, sweet Christian women and men that are sad that they haven’t found true (earthly) love. “Pin your hopes on God, but don’t pin your hopes on God giving you a spouse” was a line of thought I figured was best for another line of discussion.

  • Christopher Marsh

    Tithing is optional

    Worse, tithing was a Jewish concept. God blessed those who blessed Israel, cursed those who cursed Israel, made them prosperous, and massacred their enemies or people whose land God was going to give Israel. If anyone needs a deal like that it is God’s children with disabilities.

    Instead, meanies have free will to love or hate. And Christians suffer persecution, rejection, poverty, and in response they turn the other cheek.

    If God does not make you rich for giving, or does not even give you stability, don’t be surprised.

    I think Hal Lindsey called this reading someone else’s mail. Malachi was in the context of a Jewish nation under foreign domination far before the common era.

    • Michael

      Tithing in the sense of an enforced payment of 10% of your money, as mentioned in Leviticus, is optional, but there are other factors. The Old Testament IS out of date in that Christ made other commandments, but the Old Testament is still a very good guideline that Jesus recognized. The New Testament talks, not on tithing in specific, but giving as a whole. Paul writes in 2 Corinthians,”Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” 2 Corinthians 9:7. This means that we do not HAVE to tithe as defined in Leviticus, but that we should give as we are able and willing to. Also, in that passage, there is no one thing that is defined that you should give. If you are a single mother, and have to pinch pennies to get by, that is ok, but do prayer ministry, volunteer in Sunday school for children, help at a charity. Find something that you can give, and give it wholeheartedly. Leviticus tithing is not enforced any more, but is still a good guideline. This is why tithing is still taught in modern churches.

    • Michael

      Tithing in the sense of an enforced payment of 10% of your money, as mentioned in Leviticus, is optional, but there are other factors. The Old Testament IS out of date in that Christ made other commandments, but the Old Testament is still a very good guideline that Jesus recognized. The New Testament talks, not on tithing in specific, but giving as a whole. Paul writes in 2 Corinthians,”Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” 2 Corinthians 9:7. This means that we do not HAVE to tithe as defined in Leviticus, but that we should give as we are able and willing to. Also, in that passage, there is no one thing that is defined that you should give. If you are a single mother, and have to pinch pennies to get by, that is ok, but do prayer ministry, volunteer in Sunday school for children, help at a charity. Find something that you can give, and give it wholeheartedly. Leviticus tithing is not enforced any more, but is still a good guideline. This is why tithing is still taught in modern churches. And to your comment about God possibly not giving back, I would respond with Luke 6:38. “Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down,shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.” (ESV)

      • Michael

        Also, though you seem to be bashing both Jews and Israel in general, you still acknowledge the existence of God. Why is this?

        • Todd Bishop Dean

          Michael. You do realize that there are Christians who do not share the same affinity for Jews that others do? I’m not saying I’m one, just look at the Catholic church for example. It took the Pope years ago to do what it is that he does to “remove” the culpability of Jesus’ death off all Jews.

          • Michael

            It is not an affinity but a common courtesy due to all men, that you should treat people with respect and grace. Also, did not Jesus say “Forgive them, for they know not what they do” when he was being crucified?

    • Tina

      What about in Matthew 23:23 where Jesus, speaking to the religious elite (Pharisees) says :”Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices–mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law–justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.” – they’re giving a tenth down to their teeny, tiny spices – following the law to the absolute letter – and while Jesus tells them they’ve missed the point, he also says WITHOUT NEGLECTING THE FORMER. In other words, both are important. The justice, mercy and faithfulness are the point, but that doesn’t mean we neglect the tithe.

    • Sara Wright Byrd

      The new testiment says to give so that Gods work can continue to be done and help those in need…look it up

  • Christopher Marsh

    High school was thirty years ago.

  • Madeline

    This was really good! I am currently a freshman in high school and this post is very encouraging. I find myself wishing for more friends WAY to much. My three best friends are amazing and we share so much with each other. We even are doing a Bible study together. They encourage me to deepen my faith in Christ. Thank you for this post!

  • Excellent!

  • Audrah Prince

    Thank you! Just sent it to both of my teenagers! Can’t wait to talk with them about it!

  • Katie

    This was GREAT!

  • Alex Bell

    why is this so heavily based on God? leave God out of this and live your life. if u make the right choices and YOU know you believe in God than thats all that matters. noone has to know if u believe in God or not whats it to them

    • Erin Davis

      Alex,

      God is the center of my life. The longer I live the more I realize that everything comes from Him and belongs to Him. He is the source of all wisdom and one thing I love about getting older is that I get to know more and more about Him.

      Also, this is a Bible based blog. Our entire purpose is to expose lies and replace them with the Truth found in God’s Word.

      Because we love God and His Word so much, we want to shout it from the rooftops, not keep it to ourselves.

      Grace and Peace!

    • Dea

      If you once have experienced the Love of Christ, you will thirst for it. It is just so incredible and amazingly great, that it is impossible to describe. Once this has happened you will never want to leave God out of your life, but put Him to the center, because you know what you would be missing out: peace, joy, love, safety and an eternal life. It’s not hard to figure out which one you’d pick 🙂

    • Sara Wright Byrd

      GOD is in everything we do and why we even exist! I commend her for giving credit where credit is do…we only have what we have because GOD allows it! Why not share scripture with those who may not see it anywhere else…athiest and liberals plaster there thoughts and beliefs, so can we…it would be dif. if she was giving bad advice or making false statements, but why is it necessary to be hateful when someone one is giving caring, loving advice? You should be ashamed!

    • clash clanss

      i agreed with Sarah cz God is in everything, without him we couldnt take the right choices.. look im very thankful with God that i found the love of my life. She dont believe in God for understandable reasons. it was hard for her at school and also the bullying and stuff she became so unsecure and also like many many girls does at schol when they get hurt physically or psychologically they get depressed and they hurt themselves.like they cut , etc and idk why even the parents blame them. how ever i decided to devote my life to fix those issues and help her to believe in god cz she really needs it. the life is not easy because this world is lead by satan or devil or w.e. u call it . u know that devil was a cherub the one that protected the heavens gate and turned into a serpent to make adam n eve disobey God (many people dont know that just in case i mention it). well also that i i dunno how to make her understand that shes so important idk why almost everyone think woman are not as much importnat than men. for me it doesnt make sense because of woman the humanity exist and still do. also they raise them. and i cannot be in any christian group or the one i think is the closest to the truth the Jehovah witneses. because all of them put the woman down.i know in the bibble the woman are not placed in very important chapters of the history but i do believe that because of degrading woman its a very hightly important factor why the society keep degrading. and is not only for bad education from Gov. and Media. just i want the girl i plan to marry in future be my 1st and never let her feel 2nd. Btw Sarah. sometimes a guy who really appreaciate a girl will preffer be a bad son or brother to be the best husband or bf. i have been around 11 month with my Rebecca when its real love , the love keep growing even if there are some argue or stuff. cause they are not as much important as the relationship. im Joe C and my babe is Rebecca R 🙂

      • Erin Davis

        Clash,

        Mind if I jump in and tackle a few things in your comment?

        “In the Bible the women are not placed in very important chapters in history.”

        This couldn’t be further from the Truth. There are lots and lots of examples of the Bible esteeming women highly. I won’t highlight all of them, but my favorite is Mary Magdalene. In Matthew 28 she becomes the first person in the world to know that Jesus has raised from the dead and Jesus gives her the assignment to tell the history-splitting, life changing, death defeating news. I’d say that puts a woman at the most important juncture in history.

        We see God’s esteem for women in the very first chapter of the very first book of the Bible. Genesis 1:27 tells us that God created men and women in his image. Both sexes bear the unique and spectacular image of God.

        While it’s true that many languages and cultures have undervalued and mistreated women, that does not come from God. He esteems women highly.

        Now about your girl. I so respect and admire your desire to treat her well, love her fully, and help her see her value. But ultimately, her value comes from God. He is the only one who can truly fill the craving of her heart to be known and treasured. We see this illustrated beautifully in the story of the Samaritan woman in John 4. There Jesus tells a woman with a lot of brokenness and hurt (a lot like your girlfriend) that He is the fountain of living water. Only He can satisfy. You cannot satisfy that need in her. And apart from a relationship with Jesus she can never be whole.

        I’d also urge you to consider all that the Bible teaches about being in a relationship with an unbeliever. Here are some links to help you dig into that.

        http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/is-it-okay-to-date-non-christians/

        http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/should-christians-befriend-non-christians/

        http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/okay/

        http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/walking-with-the-wise/

        http://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/is-it-sinful-to-date-a-non-christian

        Grace and Peace!

        Erin

        • clash clanss

          i meant in general . and almost all groups of christians and even not christians and also atheist and the own culture the Governments bring to their people and also media teaches thats woman are not much importnat and if u ask any girl in middle school or highschool. u will realize what i say

    • Lorraine

      I totally disagree with you. From experience I learned that if I had left Christ out and followed my own heart, I would have married a man that has never given himself to the Lord; I instead followed what my parents and the Bible taught. This man from my past is on his 3rd or 4 th marriage, I am now married 47 years to the same man and have children and grandchildren living for the Lord. It makes a huge difference!!

      • kso721

        Except for the problem with your disagreement is that the entire world is not Christian, doesn’t worship Christ, and there’s a whole host of other religious cultures with multiple gods and none in some cases, and they do perfectly fine.

      • Joyce

        Right on Lorraine!

    • Joyce

      Wrong

  • Dr. Pamela M. Kaminski

    Our Parents always told us, “Prince Charming ain’t coming…Go out and get an education and a career of your own. Don’t just wait around to marry a Doctor..go and become the Doctor yourself!” :))

  • Cricket

    I sent this to my 10 year old. Young ladies are in need of this message and loving reinforcement of the message throughout their young lives.

  • Anatikd

    Pretty much completely disagree with number 25. Teens need to have more opportunities to make decisions for themselves within a safe family environment. No teen in the world is going to submit to having every decision made for them by mom and pop, but if parents grant their young adults the ability to make their own decisions, they will open up the door to also give lots of guidance to a teen much more willing to listen. If teens had the opportunity to make more of their own decisions and learn from their mistakes in high school, maybe they’d be more prepared for the real world when they get into college.

    • MJ C

      Yes, teens should be allowed to increasingly make decisions for themselves as they grow older, but still under their parent’s authority. And if parents say “no” or “do this” or “don’t do that”, then the child needs to submit to the parent. Sometimes a parent has to protect and guide because the lesson the teen could learn from a mistake might be too devastating, dangerous, life threatening, etc.

  • Laura Bedoya

    As a currnet high school student this is great reminder!!!! love love love it thank you 🙂

  • I am a 41 year old mom of a 13 year old girl. Erin, this post is amazing. I could not have said it better myself. Thank you for what you do to encourage young women and teach them how to love Jesus! We need so much of this in our world!

    • Erin Davis

      Gretchen,

      Thanks! And thanks for being a Truth speaker to your girl. Your voice is the loudest one in her ear, even if she shows it with eye rolls! Press in to Jesus, momma and press on!

      Grace and Peace!

      e

  • RJ Conte

    Good post!

  • Lorri Swafford

    Erin, I LOVE this post.

  • Izabel Herrera Makepeace

    Thank You for this, Mrs. Erin. If only my future self may go back in time to share with myself how to go about in this…. There is already Someone here looking out for my good, not for my happiness, God, my Mom, and, now, You, Mrs. Erin. Thank You.

  • Amy

    I had a few people in my life who taught me these things early on. So glad I listened to them too.

  • Trista

    The only thing about #28 is that to “make it better” leaders in your youth group have to allow you to be involved. When I was a teenager I did everything I could to be involved. I was at church almost daily… studying, volunteering, teaching. I truly enjoyed being there and learning from my peers and leaders. When I truly felt that something in our youth group was wrong or dishonest and spoke up, I was basically shunned from the youth group. Some times, the church turns its back on you, not the other way around. This is a big reason I have not found a home church since I graduated 5 years ago. I truly looked at these people as my family in Christ and I know my intentions were pure and I still know what was happening was wrong. Being betrayed by the church is an extremely difficult thing to go through. I have been back to my “home” church many times and I feel just as let down as I did before. I have spoken to people who hurt me directly and they all basically ignore me. Christ’s love is real and my faith is the only thing that has kept my belief strong. If I depended on the church I wouldn’t be anywhere spiritually. I am just saying, in my experience, #28 seriously backfired…

    • Victoria

      I am very sorry this happened to you. A lot of Christians would tell you that you can’t give up and you have to find a church. I’m not going to tell you that. I would say truly seek God’s face and his heart. He may be telling you to wait on him; to take a break and put all of that love, time, and energy into the very private relationship you have with him. After what you’ve experienced you need deep healing, and God can do that in the quiet time you spend some. If you feel the need for your Sunday to be spent as the one special day set aside, then spend it in whatever way makes you reach out to God and feel closer to him. Put on worship music, sing, worship, talk to him, go for walks in the woods or wherever you can come with him. But in it all receive his healing as you hear his voice. It’s okay for a wounded warrior to stay in the hospital to heal. Then, wait until he tells you to look for another church, and go where he directs. It may take a few tried, and he may have you go where you never thought you’d end up. If you listen for his voice and do what he says, no matter what others think, you will walk in victory.

  • Rebecca

    This is a good list. Thankfully, I did know some of it in high school. One of the biggest things that I found out is that it is o.k. to act like a kid. As a kid, I wanted to be seen as a mature adult. I’m 25 now, and I enjoy having fun more now than I ever did when I was younger! Who said being an adult was all serious and no fun? Who said Christians can’t have fun? Why did I listen to them when I was a little girl?

  • FrugalDebtFreeLife

    I wish more women understood these things as adults! Oh how free we would all be.

  • TL Price

    No where in The NEW Testament does it say that God commands tithing ( Giving God the FIRST 10% of your income). Tithing is now said to be, and called, The Sunday Morning Stick-Up. Please go to CNN.com to read the article “Sunday Morning Stick Up”. It may also be on the sight called PreacherPimpin.com I hope you will find this article just as insightful as I have. Bless you.

    • Carrie @ Revive Our Hearts

      “It’s not a set principle: ‘Is it thirty percent? Is it forty percent? Is it a double tithe? Is it ninety percent?'” I said, “It’s not about percentages. It’s not about how this person does it or about
      how that person does it. It’s about the leading of Jesus in your life.It’s about absolute surrender . . . ‘You speak, Lord Jesus, and I’m in!’ That’s what it’s about! It’s about Jesus, and you following Him whole-heartedly!”

      You’re correct; the New Testament does not set a percentage for tithing. As one pastor said well, “It’s not about percentages. It’s not about how this person does it or about how that person does it. It’s about the leading of Jesus in your life. It’s about absolute surrender . . . ‘You speak, Lord Jesus, and I’m in!’ That’s what it’s about! It’s about Jesus, and you following Him whole-heartedly!”

      You can learn more of about the Joy of Generous Giving here: (https://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/revive-our-hearts/gospel-patrons/).

    • Mary Fisher

      Have you read the New Testament? Jesus talks a LOT about money, because, as He said, “where your treasure is there will be your heart also”. He said to give generously and store up treasure in heaven where it can’t be stolen or lost. What you do with your money shows what or who you really love. It’s not about commands, Dear, it’s about love. Jesus really loves you personally, and He wants your love, your trust – not your money. “God loves a cheerful giver”, He cares about what’s in your heart, not your wallet, but the wallet usually what is in many people’s hearts. A tithe is the bare minimum, I think. A starting point for beginners who are just stepping out in faith.

  • Sarah Abbey

    Erin, I just wanted to thank you for this post! Definitely one of my favorites on this blog. So helpful when life just seems so stressful to have those reminders of what really matters, from someone who is ahead of you! Thank you for the encouragements and the reminders.

  • Gretchen Laukoter

    I am a sophomore in high school and I resonate with almost every single one of these. I keep writing them down because they are such great simple and yet real and honest truths. Thank you for sharing, definitely needed to hear this.

  • Savannah

    Hi there! My name is Savannah and I am a junior. This is a wonderful article! I’m here to say one thing about #25. I have found my very best friend in my mother. Granted, she doesn’t always make me 100% happy, but then again, what friend does? True friends are the ones who will hold you back when you’re going to get hurt. They help you stay true to who you are, and they learn right along with you. As the oldest of four girls, I’ve been the guinea pig many, many times. And I’m here to say that though it wasn’t fun at times, and still isn’t, it has allowed many wonderful memories to happen through out the years. We’ve laughed and cried together. I’d definitely say my mother is my friend.

  • A

    Great post except after waiting 40 yrs now still can’t find number 4.

  • Susan Blakeslee

    I wish I had known that when I clicked “print”, it would print all the comments. I was only interested in printing the article itself.

    • Carrie @ Revive Our Hearts

      Ugh… so sorry, Susan Blakeslee!

      Grace and peace,
      Carrie

  • Macayla Bycroft

    Hi 🙂 I am currently a junior in HS. I’m having some… friend problems you could say. I know that I don’t need a large amount of friends, and that’s it’s the quality of those friends that really matters, but lately I don’t know what to do. I invest heavily in the people I care about. Especially these people. They are always hanging out and I’m never invited. Not that I really care about that, because I don’t need to be doing what they do, but they OPENLY TALK ABOUT IT IN FRONT OF ME! It’s like they don’t care whether I hear or not. I pretend I don’t care, I keep investing, I keep loving… and I don’t want to say they are really bumming me out but honestly… they are. I don’t know what to do!? Does this get any easier?? Sometimes I think they forget my existence…

  • Taylor

    To all the girls that are struggling in high school with mean girls, bullies, etc;
    Hello! I want you to know that there are people out there who are going through the exact same thing you are. I know I did.
    My story starts out in my Sophomore year of HS. I was 15 years old. I noticed that all my friends at the time had a boyfriend, so I also got one after months of looking and searching. (We’ll call him C.) Well, C. and I were together for 7 months, and we finally kissed for the first time 3 days before our breakup. I found out that week that he had cheated on me 30+ times throughout the entire relationship. Needless to say, I continued to be his friend, but never got close to him again. Then, 4 months later, a huge group of my friends and I were all hanging out, and one of my friends had just gotten her license. She went and picked up a bunch of guys and brought them to hang out with us, without telling anyone. The night then turned into a crazy horror flick and everyone went home angry. The next day, my mother gets a phone call from my friend’s mom saying the girl, M. had ratted all of out, and was spilling all of my secrets to her mother who then told my parents. After a week of agonizing torture, it finally ended with me apologizing to my parents and getting in a TON of trouble. I was grounded for nearly 2 years, I had no access to internet or a phone, I couldn’t go anywhere besides church or school for the first 8 months. It was awful. And all because of a mean girl. I want to tell you that no matter what you’re going through, God is going to be with you and even in those times without friends, you still have a friend in Jesus. I’m praying for you, dear sister in Christ.

  • Bella

    I suck at confidence. I want to date a guy I like and he likes me. We’re both Christians. He is such a gentleman. I worry about my family. I respect my parents, but my dad is “overprotective” and I feel like I live in a fear bubble (cries) Same with driving. I don’t think I can do it. I always feel like I fail at everything in fear, I just want to be normal l (cries worse) I feel like an idiot. I don’t know how to tell my mom about the guy. If one word described me FEAR Anxiety.

    I don’t regret having a bad relationship because I never had one. So that is a bonus for being lonely.

    And I don’t need to kiss or all the fake love. I just want a guy to know me, and love me anyway. I want a friend. A close one.

    Like Boyfriend means Friend.