You like him. He likes you. Now what? Where do you go from here?
Working through the nitty-gritty of a relationship can be exciting and confusing at the same time. How do you figure out if a guy is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with?
Throughout the years of doing this relationship thing, I’ve consistently fallen back on this one strategy: Ask questions.
Don’t rush into a relationship and close your eyes and ears. Take the time needed to dig deep.
Taking the time to slow down and ask yourself (and your man) questions is key. Don’t rush into a relationship and close your eyes and ears. Take the time needed to dig deep. Listen. Each question could lead you to another question that will help bring clarity.
This list of fifty questions is a great place to start. This isn’t an exhaustive list, but it’s a great place to get started. I’ll also link to a few other blogs, books, and websites to help you continue the process.
50 Questions to Ask Before Falling in Love
Spiritual Questions to Ask Him
1. Can you explain the gospel to me?
2. How important is your relationship with Jesus?
3. What importance does prayer play in your life?
4. What is your view on church involvement?
5. What does your personal quiet time look like?
6. How would you lead your family spiritually?
7. What is your perspective on sharing the gospel?
8. Do you have regular accountability in your life? What does it look like?
9. What are the last five spiritual books you’ve read?
10. What is your favorite book in the Bible and why?<
11. Who is your spiritual hero and why?
General Questions to Ask Him
12. Why do you want to be in a relationship with me?
13. What do you see as my best character qualities?
14. What do you see as my weakest character qualities?
15. What does your vision of a happy family look like?
16. What motivates and excites you?
17. How would you describe a good work ethic?
18. How important is integrity to you? Why?
19. How would you maintain purity in our relationship?
20. What are your convictions on alcohol?
21. What are your convictions on media choices (movies, music, books, etc.)?
22. What are your convictions on modesty?
23. What are your convictions on speeding?
Questions to Ask Each Other
24. What is your testimony?
25. What is your ideal church to attend?
26. What is your understanding of biblical womanhood? Use Scripture to make your point.
27. What is your understanding of biblical manhood? Use Scripture to make your point.
28. Do you have any interest in working in ministry? If so, what specifically?
29. How important is entertainment in your life (movies, TV, video games, social media, etc.)?
30. What are your views on health and exercise?
31. What is your perspective on finances and debt?
32. What kind of legacy do you want to leave?
Questions to Ask Those Who Know Him Well
33. What cautions or red flags do I need to know about him?
34. What is his reputation like?
35. Can you see the two of us making a great marriage?
36. Would you encourage your daughter to get to know him?
Questions You Need to Figure Out
37. Why do I like him?
38. Does he push me closer to Christ?
39. How does he treat/talk about his mom?
40. How does he love those closest to him?
41. Is now a good time for us to pursue a relationship?
42. What gets me most excited about this person?
43. What do his actions/priorities say are important to him?
44. Is he secure in Christ or does he “need” me in order to be happy?
45. Am I secure in Christ or do I “need” a boyfriend in order to be happy?
46. Could I see myself living the rest of my life with this person?
47. Do I want to be with this guy?
48. Have I prayed about this relationship?
49. What do the people closest to me think about this relationship?
50. What cautions do my parents/mentors have?
These questions are only the start. I encourage you to use them as a launching pad to help you discern if this man is someone you should get to know.
What additional questions have been helpful to you? Share them with the rest of us in the comments section below, and be sure to check out these additional resources.
PS: To hear answers to some of these questions from the perspective of a single guy, be sure to check out Wednesday’s post!