8 Ways to Fight for Purity

I want to fight for purity, and I pray that each and every one of you do as well. But let’s be real with one another: Maintaining purity isn’t easy. Unless we are vigilant in fighting for purity from the inside out, we will fail. We will give in to temptation. We will succumb to our sinful hearts. We desperately need Jesus to help us focus on truth and resist temptation.

With our need for Jesus in mind, here are eight tips to help you fight for purity.

1. Get in the Word.

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart (Heb. 4:12).

God’s Word has power! We need to open up our Bibles and fill our minds with Scripture on a daily basis. This is the most important weapon in our arsenal in the fight for purity.

2. Pray for strength.

God is the ruler of all creation. We need to cry out to Him through prayer and ask for protection, strength, and courage to remain strong. He’s given us access to Him through the Holy Spirit, and we need to take advantage.

Isaiah 40:28 gives us a reminder of just how great He is.

Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.

How amazing that we have the privilege of praying to that God! Let’s make prayer a part of daily fight for purity.

3. Take up your shield of faith.

In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one (Eph. 6:16).

We are in a battle, girls! We need the armor of God, including the shield of faith.

I love this perspective: “We give in to temptation when we believe what it has to offer is better than what God has promised. Faith reminds us that, though fulfillment of God’s promise may not be readily visible to us, God is true to His Word. When Satan attempts to plague us with doubt or entice us with instant gratification, faith recognizes the deceptiveness of his tactics and quickly extinguishes the arrows.”

4. Confess when you fail.

When you fail, cry out to Jesus and ask for His forgiveness. Don’t shove it under the rug and move on or wallow in shame. Acknowledge your sin before God, and humbly ask for His forgiveness.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

If you confess, He will forgive. Find comfort, strength, and peace in that truth.

5. Get rid of the bad.

When I was younger, I was challenged to get rid of the bad in my life. The “bad” being anything that was tempting me to fall or give in to temptation. On several occasions, I went through my room and threw away any books, movies, magazines, etc., that were not helping in my fight for purity.

I encourage you to do the same. Think through everything in your life (people you follow on social media, movies, magazines, friends, TV shows), and remove anything that is setting you back in your fight for purity.

6. Fill your mind with good.

Be intentional about filling your mind with things that promote purity in your life. Here are a few ideas:

Get your hands on truth-filled resources, and fill your mind with good.

7. Find a solid group of girls.

Godly friendships are a huge blessing in my life. My close-knit group of girlfriends have challenged me, encouraged me, and continually pointed me toward Christ. Find a godly girl or two who can be that encouragement for you.

The Bible puts it this way:

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken (Eccles. 4:9–12).

8. Get accountability.

Please, please, please don’t try to fight your battles on your own. Find a godly older woman who can offer you wisdom, advice, and accountability in your fight for purity.

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm (Prov. 13:20).

What helps you as you fight for purity? Add your tips to the list in a comment below.

About Author

Bethany Baird

After a brief experience in the modeling industry, Bethany’s eyes were opened to how self-absorbed and lost her generation of young women really are. She and her older sister were inspired to start a blog (www.GirlDefined.com) and wrote a book Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity and Identity. Their passion is to help young women find God’s truth about beauty and womanhood and the freedom that comes from living a radically different life for Christ.

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate. We may edit or remove your comment if it:

  • * Requests or gives personal information such as email address, address, or phone number.
  • * Attacks other readers.
  • * Uses vulgar or profane language.
  • Rachael Londeree

    Love it! Sadly for me I have no Goddly girls in the area! I do have some that I have met, who are close with the Duggar family! A year ago I decided to come out of public school, and do an online school, and I am so thankful God put opportunity in my life. After a while, with all the time I had, I found the show 19 kids and Counting! They helped me to change my life (before I started to date because everyone was doing it!) So glad!!!! They helped me to realize that you don’t HAVE to do everything that the world does. God loves you, and you need to think about the future. Then I started a CHRISTIAN online school, and boy did that help! Anyway, excuse me for the long backstory. I, one day decided, to get one of my special rings that my Grammie gave me, and have it be my “purity ring!” Every time I look at it, I remind myself that God DOES care what I do and think about!!! The kind of purity I keep for myself is more on the moral side, and less on the physical purity side (because I don’t plan to date for a while) ( I’m 15! 🙂 So maybe you could just have your own purity ring, and wear it as a reminder! Mine isn’t fancy or anything! 🙂 Hope it helps someone!

    • Alexandria

      Hi Rachael! I just want you to know that my heart and prayers go out to you. I was recently in the same situation that you’re in now. I had just left public school to be homeschooled (praise God :D) and didn’t have any godly girlfriends. I brought my desire to the Lord and prayed that He would place those friends in my life. Well, it’s been about four months since I first prayed that prayer and God has blessed me with the most amazing friends ever! So, just pray and continue to trust God and remember that He is the ultimate Friend!
      Your Sister in Christ: Alexandria
      P.S. I’m 15 and love the Duggar family, too. Could we be twins?! 😉

      • Rachael Londeree

        I think we are twins! Brown hair, hazel eyes!?!?!?Haha 😂 You should DM me on Fb or IG. Sometime! @Rachael.londeree on IG and Rachael Londeree on FB! God bless you in everyway possible – Rachael

    • Thanks so much for taking the time to share @disqus_CHTh3Adud5:disqus I’m so glad to hear that you are doing better and are enjoying your online Christian school. And this statement is soooo true, “Every time I look at it, I remind myself that God DOES care what I do and think about!!!” God does care about your thoughts. Love it! -Bethany

      • Rachael Londeree

        Thanks so Much @BethanyBaird Yes, filling your mind with the word helps me, and a lot of brothers’ and sisters’ in Christ!!! -Rachael P.s. I absolutely love your blog with Kristen, and Lywb blog too! I read them both everyday, and meditate on the verses you’ all give in the posts! Keep up the fantastic work, and I know your are helping soooo many girls out there. and **GOD BLESS

  • Rae

    Do you think that God still might call some young women/girls to be like Jephthah’s daughter and be dedicated to God to never marry and remain abstinate?

    • Britt

      it’s definitely possible. It’seems called the gift of singleness, Paul talks about it in http://www.gotquestions.org/single-Christian.html
      this is a great Biblical based q&a website and they have a page on this topic 🙂

      • Britt

        sorry, I made a lot of typos 🙂
        but basically Paul kind of talks about it in 1 Corinthians 7:26-28. he’s saying it’s not a sin to get married but it if you do happen to be/get married that is more responsibility you have to take on because now your duties are split between God and your family (hence why he in his personal opinion said he would “spare you that”). However if you remain single (if you have the gift of singleness) you are more able to focus more on God. check out the link though, it is a really good website when you have Bible related q’s.

        • Rae

          Thanks. It was my dream to someday marry and have kids. I still want kids more than most things, but I recently found out adoption agencies sometimes allow single women (mostly women) to adopt. I just feel so strongly that God is calling me to do that.

          • Luke

            God created husband and wife to have children, not single men or women. I think it would be neglecting the child a great deal not giving him/her a father. I doubt that God would be ‘calling’ you to do that – we don’t see anywhere in the Bible God giving single people children, so why would he be ‘calling’ you to this? Marriage is a picture of Christ and His Church. Because we live in a world of sin it’s not easy. However the blessing of children is one of the rewards of a commitment of marriage. You shouldn’t want to find a short cut to be able to have kids by skipping the marriage part. Marriage is a fundamental part upon which the family is built. It would be a catastrophe if a child was raised without a father, and that’s never how God intended it in the beginning so is never how He would intend it today. Husband comes first, then the blessing of children follows and then you have the foundations of a family there 🙂

          • Rae

            when Mary was told by Gabriel that she, being a virgin, would have a baby, that had never been heard of actually happening before in the Bible that they had. Also, “With God, nothing is impossible”.

          • Sarah Blevins

            Mary was also promised to Joseph, both being of the lines of David (If I recall correctly). I do believe God set it up to show the world the miracle of His glory through impregnating a virgin, but also placed importance on the marriage she was going to have through Joseph by sending him an angel and telling him it was okay to still marry Mary. Joseph was pretty unnerved at thinking he should marry a pregnant woman before they were even together, knowing that it wasn’t his child and in their culture unmarried, pregnant women were ‘set aside’ from society. But like the previous statement noted, God has always stood behind a mother and a father being there for the children in growth as a family unit.

            I have to say I had my two children outside of marriage. I was a single mother in both durations of my pregnancies, and was definitely outside of God’s will at the time. I wasn’t joyful bringing the two children into this world, I was grieved. I struggled hard and it was community that gratefully helped me when I needed it, but it should not have been community that had to. I know firsthand what children are lacking when there is no father-figure there. Yeah, they can make it, they can survive, but we are called as God’s children to thrive, not just survive. We can thrive through His Holiness and Power!

            Last year I chose obedience to God and put Him first in my life. After ten years, six states, over 25 locations in those six states and 200 housing applications, God planted me in Tennessee in a home I could afford. After multiple relationships involving cheating on me, theft from me, domestic abuse, violent situations, God granted me the opportunity of a godly man for marriage. After struggling against Him with knowledge, my own stubborn will, He has been pruning me and shaping me in a way that is both totally awesome and somewhat scary (lol) never knew this kind of relationship before and I adore it <3

            I just encourage you to make sure you're not trying to 'fill a void' where only God can truly fill it. God was calling me to marry my husband, but I had to be obedient in the way that I wasn't able to tell him I was going to marry him. I had to treat him entirely as a Brother-in-Christ and build friendship with him in a way that I had not ever done with another man before (hence the being outside God's will in the past). When we married, it wasn't the right timing because my husband wanted the marriage much more quickly than God wanted it (his past caught up with him and he didn't trust God, he didn't want to lose me, so he rushed and I followed) – because of his intent to fill a void, that instead God should've filled, we have been experiencing rough patches that only God can see us through.

          • Rae

            Your story has “God’s Grace” written all over it! Thank-you for that solid advice. I know I need reminders of the fact that only God can fill a void. I also know in my heart that adopting kids is what I need to do. It is more than just ‘adopting kids’, though. I want to be a missionary, work with the children there, and if God opens the doors, I’ll adopt. I don’t know anything about these kids yet (I’m only 16 in a couple months), but I know that there are going to be kids in my life, I just don’t know when, how, or in what circumstances. God will open those doors when the time is right. I just know it.

          • Sarah Blevins

            I am glad to hear my sister has such an open heart towards the ministry of children! Blessings in your endeavors, and may you always seek the Lord our Father first.

          • Rae

            Thank you for that sentiment! You are really sweet!

          • Deborah Gatchel

            Luke,
            While I understand your heart, I think you are off base. Yes, God’s plan is for children within the confines of marriage. But what about the widow. Does she marry the first person to come along so that her children have a father (want to ask me from my personal experience where that leads – it’s an ugly story, but God is able to make ugly things beautiful).
            We are talking about children who, unless the church steps up, has NO ONE. Wouldn’t a loving, single mom be better than being shuttled around from home to home – or, in the case of international children, stuck in an institution with a stigma of being an orphan the rest of your life (read: not able to go to high school or get a good job). That’s reality for these children.
            On the other hand, I have a young lady in my scout troop who was adopted by a single mom. Ideal? No. Better than the alternative. Absolutely. And Jesus is making up where mom lacks. And mom makes sure both the children have strong, Godly, male role models.

            Rae, just keep focusing on Jesus. Take a summer to spend in an orpaphanage. Take a gap year (between high school and college) with one of the many ministries that work with orphans. (Friend me on FB so I can help support you). And keep praying. It could be that God will have you go as a single woman. Or, maybe He’ll bring someone along who has your same heart. He’ll make your way clear if you keep focused on Him.

          • Rae

            Deborah, you said you have an ugly story. God says both that nothing is impossible with him and that He can bring beauty from the ashes. I have quite a lot of ash piles in my life too, and God’s still working on me, but the parts that are in the past, I see Him working on and making them beautiful.
            Thank-you so much for your comments and advice in the last paragraph. They touched my heart. I think someone’s peeling onions nearby, or something!
            I used to want a guy so much, but then I dealt with some difficulties, and I fell, quite a bit, and now I seriously doubt any man can truly love me with my type of past. It really hurt for a while, but now I’m learning to focus on Jesus, because without His help, I’d be dead, or something equally terrible. I still occasionally write letters to him, though, just in case. With Christ, I can find hope. I have a feeling that He’s not through with either of us yet. Something amazing is going to happen, I just know it.
            Oh, and on FB I call myself Azure. Don’t worry about my security, it’s a fake name! (My parents taught me well) 🙂

          • Deborah Gatchel

            God does His best work in the impossible situations.
            I did have an ugly start. But I’ve been married to an amzing man for 23 years. We have four children who are strong, loving, and independent. They’ve heard me speak of the abuse I went through, and one has helped a friend deal with an abusive situation in her life. But they don’t know it first-hand. And I am confident that any one of them would walk away if they were in a bad relationship. God is AMAZING.
            Don’t worry about who won’t love you. God knows everything and He loves you. And He can send the right man to see your past through the blood of Jesus. But right now, focus on loving Jesus and letting Him heal you.

          • Carrie @ Revive Our Hearts

            Hey, Rae,

            We edited your comment a bit. No personal info – including FB on the blog.

            Thanks,

            Carrie

          • Rae

            that’s ok. I’ll do my best to remember! Thank-you for being safety conscious! It shows you care.

          • Carrie @ Revive Our Hearts

            Thanks for understanding, Rae!

          • Anne

            Marriage is a social contract that existed long before the bible.

          • Anne

            That’s a wonderful idea.

        • Sarah Blevins

          “You are more able to focus more on God” isn’t necessarily true; you should have Him as your priority in marriage or singleness – marrying doesn’t make us any less of His godly daughters. When you have a relationship with another person, it is a different kind of glory to give to God and is growth in your spiritual walk. I do believe Paul also mentioned that for single women, not widows who were quite past marrying age, it was best to marry than to possibly cause the sin of adultery or fornication outside of marriage. He understood our biological side; we are going to yearn for that companionship. It’s how God designed us as our Creator, for Eve to yearn for Adam and vice versa. I believe singleness is a calling until God changes your heart’s desire to serve Him on a deeper level in the commitment of marriage. After all, marriage is the greatest example we can show the world that relates to the relationship of Christ and the church.

  • FabyJulio♪ ♫

    ¡Amazing! I love read the articles of “Lies Young Women Believe” and practice my english too hahaha. I’m from Venezuela but I love this. I praise the Lord for articles like this…talk about “Purity” is not a “top” but is very necessary like God´s daughters. ¡This world is crazy! And even we are from different cultures the Word Of God help us in any country, situation and problem. We have to be a stronger girls who upset this world for the Kingdom of Jesus. 😀 (Sorry for my not “good” english, hahaha) ¡God bless you!

    • Your heart comes through your words loud and clear, my friend. We love that you trust us enough to practice your English here! Keep in the Word and keep on fire for Jesus! God bless you, too, my friend!

  • Husna

    Well, one another way of fighting for purity is setting a personal standard for your purity. By setting up one’s principles concerning purity and their alignment with the Word, one then realises their importance of maintaining them. Also by submitting to God, we are able to be held accountable by the Holy Spirit who convicts us to bring us back to God, incase we slip.

  • Leanne

    What are your suggestions for remaining pure when you’re assigned to work one-on-one with a guy in an academic setting? Especially in college, where it’s natural that you’re going to build a basic friendship with him especially if it’s long-term collaborative work over the course of the semester?

    • Doors with windows in them are a good start. You’ll need to be sure and keep your thoughts pure as well and not let them take you down the road into romantic thoughts. If you find that a struggle, you can turn your thoughts into prayers for him. Remember to use Philippians 4:8 as the filter for your thoughts. Whatsoever is true, pure, right, etc. It’s important to keep the conversation about school, about the project and not about personal things. It might even be a good idea to have a friend who is willing to ask you the hard questions about your thoughts and time to hold you accountable. Remember, Leanne, that there is no temptation you will face that others haven’t faced before. And count on God’s faithfulness. He will never allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear and will always provide a way out so that you do not sin (1 Cor. 10:13). I’m praying for you right now.

    • Sarah Blevins

      Also, music is a gift to use for the Lord’s glory. When you play, maybe
      think about that and it will help you focus your intent. It also helps if you can have a quick conversation about your intent if you can’t avoid being in a situation that’s ideal for you. If he knows about your intent, he may be able to help you keep it pure. If he is not a believer, maybe that is a way you can witness to him. 🙂 1 Corinthians 10:31

    • Anne

      People of the opposite sex work together all the time without getting tempted.

  • Olivia Chambers

    These tips are so full of wisdom. Thank you for sharing your advice. All of us definately benefit from living pure lives. One thing that helps in my fight for purity is realizing that the main reason I want to live a pure life is for God. God needs to be the main reason because he has the strongest influence over how I feel. He is so strong and scary, yet compassionate. His noble character makes me not want to let him down. All of the other reasons for living a pure life are not strong enough to keep me from sinning, but God is. Also, I would suggest bring God with you when you read books, go online, hang out with your friends, or go on a date. When I invite God’s presence and am aware that he is with me, it makes me rethink everything that I do and I feel stronger.

  • Latisha

    I don’t know what to do… i masturbute. I know its wrong but I don’t feel sorry when I’m done. I don’t feel anything. I feel like I can’t stop. Pray for me!!!!’

    • Carrie @ Revive Our Hearts

      I have prayed for you today, sweet friend. Because of Jesus there is great hope.

      Would you take some time to read these posts and let me know what you think?

      Handling the Guilt http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=2114#jf767acaf1
      ·
      God’s Truth on Your Sexual Sin http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=2113
      ·
      Playing With Fire http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=271
      ·
      Bandaging
      the Burns http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=761

      I’m praying and will look forward to hearing from you.

      Grace and peace,
      Carrie

    • Anonymous

      Sweet Sister, I have fought the same battle. I have tried and failed and failed again, but I have also overcome. Not through my own power, but God’s Grace. Here are some verses for you: 1 Corinthians 2:16, Luke 10:19, Ephesians 2:6, 2 Corinthians 12:8-10.

      Whenever an impure thought enters my mind, I declare these over myself. You have to fight your flesh. When the thoughts come, pray for others. Speak to the enemy and REBUKE HIM! You are a Temple and a Dwelling Place of the Holy Spirit, made pure in Jesus Christ! I hope these exclamation points aren’t viewed as yelling, because I simply want you to know that these words are meant for you and ALL of what I am talking about (authority, love, and grace) is already available to you; you do not have to earn it!

      Luke 10:19- YOU have authority through God and can overcome ALL the power of the enemy!

      1 Corin. 2:16- You have the Mind of Christ!!

      2 Corin. 12:8-10- His Grace IS sufficient for you! Grace, by the way, is not just forgiveness and a washing away of sin- it is the Power of God in you to keep away from sin! You no longer HAVE to sin because His Grace is sufficient! This is so because when we overcome, we know that it has nothing to do with our own strength but is because of the changing Grace of God! He is therefore glorified!

      Eph. 2:6- We are seated in the Heavenly Realms with Jesus Christ. Our home is Heaven, and God cannot bring a sinful person there; therefore, do not view yourself as someone who has to earn their way into God’s love, grace, or purity, but live in the truth that these gifts are already available to you! We are Daughters of the Kingdom, washed white because of Jesus! Do NOT let the enemy lie to you and tell you that you have no authority, because you are seated with Christ, My Dear!

    • Anne

      It is not wrong. It is a natural instinct. Don’t apologize for being human.

  • Anonymous

    I had sex outside of marriage. I feel so ashamed even if I prayed. Please pray for me. I know our God is a good and forgives but the guilt inside me is killin’ me and making me feel unworthy of God’s love. 😢

    • Deborah Gatchel

      Sweetheart, you sinned. If you lied, would you beat yourself up like this? If you stole something? Sin is sin and Jesus died for all our sins.

      I believe there is a reason Paul, through the Holy Spirit, places the piece of armor related to salvation (the helmet of salvation) over our minds. Renew your mind in Jesus Christ.

      By continuing to allow satan to berate you over this mistake (errror, sin, wrong choice) you are giving him control over your life.

      It sounds like you have repented. Jesus has forgiven you. That’s good enough for me. Forgive yourself. Learn from the situation, and move on. As Jesus said to the woman caught in adultry: neither do I condemn you. Go, and stay away from that sin.

    • Anne

      Marriage existed long before the bible. You dos nothing wrong.