Best Of: It’s Harder For Me To Dress Modestly Because . . .

From the team: It’s our fifth birthday here on the blog. To celebrate we are featuring the "best of" the blog all month. This post on modesty sure got you talking. With 128 comments, it’s worth reading for some practical tips to make modesty possible (no matter what your body type).

I have two very beautiful teenage daughters. One is curvy and one is not. And, yep, it’s a whole lot easier for my "not" curvy daughter to get away with certain looks. Just a few weeks ago, we were shopping for formal dresses and "curvy" put on a dress and looked really . . . well, sexy. "Not" put it on and looked really cute. Are you feeling this pain?

Today’s styles do make it harder on those of us who are a little curvier, but with a few tips you can not only pursue modesty, but look a few pounds lighter, too!

1. Layer up. Layers really help to flatten out the curves. For those of us who are a little more curvy, we have to take advantage of this tip. I never go on stage to speak without a jacket, vest, or scarf to camouflage and flatten out the curves. (I did once, and when I saw how immodest my beautiful loosely fitting green satin blouse looked, I made a commitment to just stick with layers.) And again, the right kind of layers can really smooth out your overall look and lengthen your torso, making you appear taller and thinner.

2. Wear shorter jewelry. Longer necklaces can really accentuate the curves, so opt for shorter necklaces. A short strand of pearls, for example, is really in style with a rugged T-shirt these days. It makes a great modest look! And speaking of T-shirts . . .

3. Wear men’s cut T-shirts. It used to be that T-shirts were unisex. These days, girls’ T-shirts are super small, and only the smallest of girls can slip into them without really bringing attention to the bustline. You might be a little like me . . . one of those girls who just really has to reach for the unisex T-shirts. There are sometimes T-shirts at places like Old Navy or Gap that I can get away with, but for the most part I just say "no" to the girl cut T-shirts!

4. Get mentally prepared to buy a bigger size. Let me be straight with you. I wear a size 8 (women’s) or 11 (juniors). I’m not exceptionally huge, but when I buy T-shirts, tank tops, or sweaters, I’m almost always pushing it with an XL. But I got over it! How? The Wall Street Journal. They took a perfect size 8 model into downtown New York and found that in most cases, she could not actually fit in a size 8. They were way too small. The industry has gone crazy, and we have to just settle for buying what fits rather than what size we want to be. (My girlfriend Janet always tells me to cross out that size and write whatever I want in the label! You could even make it a Triple 0, if that makes you feel better.)

5. Get properly fitted for a bra. I’ve heard that about three quarters of all bra-wearing women are wearing the wrong size. The result? Spillage. Not only does it make it harder to fit well into your clothes, but it can make you look up to ten pounds heavier. I know a little about this. I was wearing a bra that was several cup sizes and a few inches off. I got fitted in a nice boutique and immediately my clothes fit better. And people said I looked slimmer! (A girl can always go for that!)

This past year I was speaking to a group of teen girls in Indiana about modesty. There was a very well-endowed girl there who raised her hand and said, "It is impossible for me to look modest in anything at all. I wear a size __!" Since there were no men in the room, I felt free to be truthful with her. I told the whole group my bra size, and they were all in shock (and not because it was on the smaller end of the scale)! "You can appear modest even when you’re curvy," I told the group.

Take it from a sister who works really hard to be modest. You can do this. You just have to want to be obedient to God’s guidelines for saving the deepest secrets of your beauty for just one man. Hebrews says that, "If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left" (10:26). 

About Author

Dannah Gresh

Dannah Gresh is completely in love with her chocolate labradoodle, Stormie. (But just for the record, she doesn't like dog kisses.) She's been married to Bob for over twenty years and loves that he brings her "freshly sharpened bouquets of pencils." She's the mom to Lexi, Autumn, and Rob. Oh, and she co-wrote Lies Young Women Believe with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth!

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