Can I Wear a Purity Ring if I’m Not a Virgin?

I was thirteen years old when my dad gave me a purity ring. He took me to the jewelry store, showed me the selection of rings, and let me pick one. I chose a silver ring with swirly shapes that surrounded a purple gemstone.

It was the perfect ring in my little girl eyes.

Later that day my dad asked me what commitments I wanted my purity ring to represent, so I shared a few specifics with him. He explained that my ring was only an outward symbol of my inward commitment to purity—to a life that honors God’s standards, motivated by my love for Him.

Dad made it clear that my purity ring didn’t make me pure.

  • My ring didn’t make me holier than girls who didn’t wear purity rings.
  • It didn’t have any “special powers” to protect me from making unwise or impure choices.
  • It didn’t elevate my worth in God’s eyes.
  • My purity ring was simply a symbol of my commitments to God. A reminder that purity—following God’s pattern for romance and marriage—truly matters (1 Thess. 4:1–8; Phil. 4:8; Heb. 13:4).

Now, as a twenty-nine-year-old, soon-to-be-married woman (who still wears her little purple gemstone purity ring), I receive quite a few questions on the topic of purity rings.

And this is the one I’ll tackle today:

Can I wear a purity ring if I’m not a virgin?

This question makes me want to jump through the screen and give every young woman who asks it a big hug. I want to encourage her with the grace and forgiveness that Christ has already offered her on the cross (Titus 3:4–8; Rom. 3:23–25; Eph. 2:8–10). I want to cheer her on as she desires to pursue purity. I want her to know this: Yes, you can wear a purity ring!

Lost Virginity Doesn’t Define You

In a recent blog post “Lost Virginity Does Not Define You,”I explained why it isn’t virginity that defines our worth—it’s Jesus.

Your worth has nothing to do with your virginity or your lost virginity. Your worth has nothing to do with your reputation. Your worth has nothing to do with anything you’ve ever done or ever will do. You can’t earn your worth, and you can’t lose it either.

That’s because your worth is found totally and completely in the love God has given you through His perfect Son, Jesus Christ.

There is no “purity ring rule book,” and there is nothing magical or extra-spiritual about wearing a ring.

Sweet sister in Christ, please know that if impurity is in your past but you now desire to pursue purity, you can still wear a purity ring. There is no “purity ring rule book,” and there is nothing magical or extra-spiritual about wearing a ring.

By wearing a purity ring, you are simply saying:

God I desire to walk in purity. I know I haven’t lived a perfect life. I’ve sinned against You in my past. I’ve given my body to a man who wasn’t my husband—I didn’t follow Your pattern for marriage and sexual intimacy. But I sincerely desire to walk in purity from this point forward. I put this ring on my finger as a representation of my desire and prayer to live a pure life, not for my glory, but for Yours alone. Please help me to flee temptation and strengthen me to honor You with my heart and actions.

Jewelry with a Deeper Meaning

A purity ring isn’t intended to set you apart as a special woman who’s “holier” than others. And wearing a purity ring doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve never crossed physical boundaries or never had sex.

Instead, its real purpose is to remind you of your current commitments to God and His Word.

I believe that any woman, no matter her past, can wear a purity ring. In fact, I would encourage you to wear one if you desire to embrace God’s forgiveness for your past and move forward in His grace.

A purity ring should represent these five things:

  1. A clear understanding of God’s grace and forgiveness.
  2. A heart that desires to honor God through a lifestyle that reflects purity.
  3. A heart of humility before God and dependence on Him for strength.
  4. A symbol of your personal commitments to God and practical boundaries in your relationships.
  5. A regular reminder that you are only worthy because of Christ and not because of your purity ring.

Whether or not we slide a purity ring on our finger, we are loved and we are forgiven, only because of Christ’s complete work on the cross.

Whether or not we slide a purity ring on our finger, we are loved and we are forgiven, only because of Christ’s complete work on the cross (Rom. 5:6–11).

I’d love to hear from you in the comment section below!

  • Do you wear a purity ring? Why?
  • What does “pursuing a life of purity” look like to you? (Bonus: Use Scripture to support your answer!)
  • Why does “pursuing a life of purity” go beyond a list of rules and boundaries? (Hint: purity is about so much more than following the rules!)

For more on the topic of purity, check out these posts from our archives:

About Author

Bethany Baird

After a brief experience in the modeling industry, Bethany’s eyes were opened to how self-absorbed and lost her generation of young women really are. She and her older sister were inspired to start a blog (www.GirlDefined.com) and wrote a book Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity and Identity. Their passion is to help young women find God’s truth about beauty and womanhood and the freedom that comes from living a radically different life for Christ.

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate. We may edit or remove your comment if it:

  • * Requests or gives personal information such as email address, address, or phone number.
  • * Attacks other readers.
  • * Uses vulgar or profane language.
  • TLC

    Hello Bethany! I’m 16 and I wear a purity ring, my Dad got it for me when I turned 15 and i love it! I wear it as a commitment to God and my future husband, my Dad put a verse on it for me and it’s a perfect reason and answer to what pursuing a life of purity looks like to me! It’s Jeremiah 29:11 ” For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” What that looks like to me is that God has plans for my future and there’s no need to rush and plan my own ways! I don’t think of following the (rules) when I put it on or look at it! I think of Christ and how he has already planned my future and knows what’s best for me! He has saved me! And has given me the wonderful gift of His love and protection! Thank you for the post! I truly enjoyed reading it along with all the others you’ve posted with you Sister!❤❤

  • hannah

    i’m 14 and I wear a purity ring I got it when I was 13 and I think of it as commitment to god my parents and to my future husband and myself that I will stay as pure as i can till i’m married.

    • Hosaena Collins

      I see mine the same way!!

  • Priscila Moreno Gorriti

    Thanks you my bigsister… I love this study of the purity ring because I remember who defines who i am… God bless you.
    I love you sister

  • Karen Elaine Fulmer

    Hey Bethany! I’m a week away from being 15, and I do not wear a purity ring. I’ve never brought it up with my parents, and sometimes it makes me sad that they haven’t given me one, because it makes me feel like they aren’t concerned about my being pure. I know that the ring is just a symbol, but we rarely talk about this conversation…Actually I don’t think I’ve ever talked about it with my dad, only a bit with my mom. Thank you for the post though- it was very good! 🙂

    • Hosaena Collins

      Hey Karen! I just turned 15 on the 15th, and my parents gave me a purity ring when I was 10. They actually got the idea from a movie and thought it was a good thing to do. But just because your parents don’t give you a purity ring, doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t care about your purity. Try talking to them about it…maybe they aren’t seeing it from your perspective. 😉
      Just some thoughts from your big sister in Christ. Hope this helps! ❤

      • Karen Elaine Fulmer

        Thanks Hosaena! Means a lot. 🙂

        • Hosaena Collins

          No problem Karen!! Happy to help!!

    • hannah

      hi Karen I got my purity ring when I was 13 i’ll be 15 in October and just like Hosaena said talk with your mom and dad or just one of them about it sometimes parents feel just as weird about talking about purity as us teens. Hope this helps.

      • Karen Elaine Fulmer

        Thanks Hannah! 🙂

        • hannah

          your welcome hope it helps

  • Anonymous Sister

    Ok, I know this might sound weird, but I actually had to take my purity ring off for awhile. I was wearing it for all the wrong reasons that Bethany was talking about- I thought it was some magical thing that would keep me from sin. But turns out, your mind can go to some very dark places even if your physical body is still a virgin. I struggled (and still do a bit) A LOT with lust and masturbation, and one day I realized I was hiding behind my purity ring. I took it off in church one day after being convicted, bc I needed to stop hiding in darkness if I wanted healing. God helped me work through a re-commitment to purity in my mind, and I’m wearing my purity ring again, but for all the right reasons. This post is so true and I wish I had read it earlier!

    • Morgan

      True, I’ve struggled with the same things and still have some moments of weakness in regards to my thinking. Purity of mind can be even harder than keeping your physical body pure!

    • hannah

      i’m proud to call you my sister in Christ you did something most people would no have done. so I want to thank you for being someone to look up to.