I was thirteen years old when my dad gave me a purity ring. He took me to the jewelry store, showed me the selection of rings, and let me pick one. I chose a silver ring with swirly shapes that surrounded a purple gemstone.
It was the perfect ring in my little girl eyes.
Later that day my dad asked me what commitments I wanted my purity ring to represent, so I shared a few specifics with him. He explained that my ring was only an outward symbol of my inward commitment to purity—to a life that honors God’s standards, motivated by my love for Him.
Dad made it clear that my purity ring didn’t make me pure.
- My ring didn’t make me holier than girls who didn’t wear purity rings.
- It didn’t have any “special powers” to protect me from making unwise or impure choices.
- It didn’t elevate my worth in God’s eyes.
- My purity ring was simply a symbol of my commitments to God. A reminder that purity—following God’s pattern for romance and marriage—truly matters (1 Thess. 4:1–8; Phil. 4:8; Heb. 13:4).
Now, as a twenty-nine-year-old, soon-to-be-married woman (who still wears her little purple gemstone purity ring), I receive quite a few questions on the topic of purity rings.
And this is the one I’ll tackle today:
Can I wear a purity ring if I’m not a virgin?
This question makes me want to jump through the screen and give every young woman who asks it a big hug. I want to encourage her with the grace and forgiveness that Christ has already offered her on the cross (Titus 3:4–8; Rom. 3:23–25; Eph. 2:8–10). I want to cheer her on as she desires to pursue purity. I want her to know this: Yes, you can wear a purity ring!
Lost Virginity Doesn’t Define You
In a recent blog post “Lost Virginity Does Not Define You,”I explained why it isn’t virginity that defines our worth—it’s Jesus.
Your worth has nothing to do with your virginity or your lost virginity. Your worth has nothing to do with your reputation. Your worth has nothing to do with anything you’ve ever done or ever will do. You can’t earn your worth, and you can’t lose it either.
That’s because your worth is found totally and completely in the love God has given you through His perfect Son, Jesus Christ.
There is no “purity ring rule book,” and there is nothing magical or extra-spiritual about wearing a ring.
Sweet sister in Christ, please know that if impurity is in your past but you now desire to pursue purity, you can still wear a purity ring. There is no “purity ring rule book,” and there is nothing magical or extra-spiritual about wearing a ring.
By wearing a purity ring, you are simply saying:
God I desire to walk in purity. I know I haven’t lived a perfect life. I’ve sinned against You in my past. I’ve given my body to a man who wasn’t my husband—I didn’t follow Your pattern for marriage and sexual intimacy. But I sincerely desire to walk in purity from this point forward. I put this ring on my finger as a representation of my desire and prayer to live a pure life, not for my glory, but for Yours alone. Please help me to flee temptation and strengthen me to honor You with my heart and actions.
Jewelry with a Deeper Meaning
A purity ring isn’t intended to set you apart as a special woman who’s “holier” than others. And wearing a purity ring doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve never crossed physical boundaries or never had sex.
Instead, its real purpose is to remind you of your current commitments to God and His Word.
I believe that any woman, no matter her past, can wear a purity ring. In fact, I would encourage you to wear one if you desire to embrace God’s forgiveness for your past and move forward in His grace.
A purity ring should represent these five things:
- A clear understanding of God’s grace and forgiveness.
- A heart that desires to honor God through a lifestyle that reflects purity.
- A heart of humility before God and dependence on Him for strength.
- A symbol of your personal commitments to God and practical boundaries in your relationships.
- A regular reminder that you are only worthy because of Christ and not because of your purity ring.
Whether or not we slide a purity ring on our finger, we are loved and we are forgiven, only because of Christ’s complete work on the cross.
Whether or not we slide a purity ring on our finger, we are loved and we are forgiven, only because of Christ’s complete work on the cross (Rom. 5:6–11).
I’d love to hear from you in the comment section below!
- Do you wear a purity ring? Why?
- What does “pursuing a life of purity” look like to you? (Bonus: Use Scripture to support your answer!)
- Why does “pursuing a life of purity” go beyond a list of rules and boundaries? (Hint: purity is about so much more than following the rules!)
For more on the topic of purity, check out these posts from our archives: