Christ or Crush? (Welcome!)

Hey, beautiful girl!

I’m so pumped about this brand-new video series. Watch this video to learn why.



About Author

Paula Marsteller

Paula no longer tries to catch guys' attention by swallowing live goldfish, arm wrestling, and jumping down flights of stairs. (She's married to a wonderful man now!) She spends her days caring for her son, Iren, and writing for Revive Our Hearts. She's the author of Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl: On Her Journey from Neediness to Freedom, and she and her family live in New York. You can catch all her writing on PaulaWrites.com.

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate. We may edit or remove your comment if it:

  • * Requests or gives personal information such as email address, address, or phone number.
  • * Attacks other readers.
  • * Uses vulgar or profane language.
  • Maddy

    I am a sucker for smiles.

    • Drea

      I have to agree with you there, Maddy!
      I used to like my best friend’s big brother (no surprise there since he is super godly, not to mention handsome, athletic, and considerate. And his smile…!) But he didn’t ever like me so I got over him eventually. Other than that I’m usually hesitant to actually like someone. My problem is I recently realized that I’ve begun depending more on myself – or on my “need” for someone to like me – than on God. I don’t like that. But I still want to have someone love me, want to be with me and make me laugh, encourage and challenge me. I want someone to hold me when I cry, and I feel like my family and friends don’t quite fill that place. And then I feel guilty for being so discontent. Thanks for your encouragement, Paula! I’m so excited about this series you’re doing. Maybe I can find some answers. =)

  • Fran

    Hey Paula! I’m absolutely loving this. I can’t wait for the next video! 🙂 Anyways, what I really admire about my crush is how much he honors and respects his parents. Also, how he is so zealous to serve the Lord. It amazes me. How he is also super polite, and he always greets me with a smile. And most especially, how his love for Christ is so evident in his life! 🙂

  • Becca

    Oh my gosh I am SO excited for this!!! I have asked myself that exact question: “How can an invisible God satisfy when I just want a pair of strong arms to hold me close?” Thank you for doing this:) Things that I really liked about my last crush were: he would always tease me, he would pull ribbons out of my hair just to be silly, he was always really nice to me (he never made a big deal about my stuttering issue), he had a really cute smile, he always called me adorable. There was one time when I told him that my coach called one of my friends “farm girl” because she has rode horses, and I was like “I have SHEEP! And goats and chickens and donkeys and rabbits! How come she gets to be farm girl?!” I wasn’t really mad about it, I just thought it made more sense for me to be farm girl. So after that, my crush started calling me farm girl (I didn’t even ask him to!). But sadly, God led me to realize that we weren’t right for each other, so he hasn’t spoken to me for the past 2 months. Now I’m working on trying to be satisfied in God (another reason I’m so excited for this!!)

  • Grace O

    Hello Paula! I am really anticipating this series, so excited! Well, okay, here goes: What I love about my crush is his smile and the way he talks to me, like he is really interested in what I have to say, and I enjoy listening to him talk about the things he is passionate about. Like when he is talking with me about music (he plays piano very well might I add 🙂 I also (and most importantly) very much admire his desire to please God even if that means he acts differently than the other boys at his school or even church. (Oh and I do really like his hair

    • Grace O

      Okay I just have to add, he has an amazing laugh, gorgeous brown eyes and he gives really good hugs too.

  • Marissa

    He points me to God, encouraging me to read my Bible, forgiving me in times he shouldn’t. He seems a little too perfect

  • Daisy

    Yay I am so excited my favourite thing about him is he is funny

  • Can I just say, your hair is ADORABLE!
    I’m gonna sound like a total liar here, but I don’t really have a crush. Honestly. I mean sometimes I see a cute guy but try not to develop a crush. They’ve hurt me in the past, and I don’t wanna experience it again.
    When I have had crushes, its usually been all about outward appearance. Hair, smile, eyes, all that stuff. I never really focused on the inside, sadly.
    I’m totally excited about this video series!!!!

    • aliyah

      I’m in the same boat as you! I have mainly focused on the outward appearance also and though I’d say I have a half crush right now, it’s wearing off. Jesus is SO much better.

      For crushes in the past though, gentleness (yet still lots of strength!!) turns me on for sure. 😉

    • phendricks

      Aw, thanks, Brooklyn!

  • Elizabeth

    Yay so excited for this series! For me its the fact that he loves God, is so sweet and respectful to his parents, and he made me feel special. I’m usually so shy and quiet but he made the effort to talk to me. One thing that I would hopefully like to be answered is recently my relationship with Christ has felt boring. And I don’t know were this stems from I mean, I’m already a college girl, and I’ve been with Christ for 6 years and life has been amazing yet during this season I just feel so disconnected and bored. I wonder how I got to this point because I gave so much to God willingly and freely and its been an adventure but recently I’ve longed for a boyfriend just so that I could feel something in my relationship with God, maybe if I had a boyfriend my life would be more interesting and I could let God grown in me as I try to be a respectful girlfriend, I don’t know but its just something I’m going through.

    • Taryn

      I totally know what you are going through it’s been happening to me as well.

  • Taryn

    I love how kind he is. he is kinda quiet but he is funny, respectful, and loves to tease my teacher in a kind way. Also his hair is gorgeous.

  • Jae

    He has a beautiful mind

  • Jesusfreak17

    My crush is very godly and he’s one of those people that you can just see it in the way he treats those around him. He’s very polite and gentlemanly. I also know his younger sister who is one of the sweetest girls I’ve ever met.
    This series feels very on time though, because I’ve had a crush on him for awhile but I decided when I started liking him that I would try to just let him initiate everything with me and that’s been good and bad (good because I haven’t been going as boy crazy but bad because my previous crush showed up in my life and I was more distracted by him [he was not godly]). But the two people I’ve told who know him (and are both very godly) were both like “He’s a great guy to have a crush on” and “you guys would be great together” which I’m not sure how to take. I’m not really sure how to handle those comments because I really want a relationship with him but I don’t know what God wants. Also, I’m not sure how to handle the emotions appropriately. I tend to overanalyze EVERYTHING and I’m a story-teller at heart so in my last crush there was just a bunch of inner turmoil that hurt me even though it didn’t really bleed through into my actual relationship with that guy. So I hope you have something addressing that in your series!

    • aliyah

      I wanted to recommend this to you …..


      • Jesusfreak17

        Thanks! I read Girldefined too and saw that article. I’m certainly open now to starting conversations with him but I’m just unsure of how to handle it on the inside without being too emotional about it or overthinking it.

        • Grace O

          Wow! I totally know where your coming from! It so hard not to get carried away with my emotions. I really really like my crush not only as someone I’m attracted to but also as a brother in Christ so I’m really trying to treat him as a friend and wait for God’s timing. Because I know that if it is God’s will that we be together then we will be. I’ll pray for you girl!

          • Jesusfreak17

            Aw thanks!

  • miss K

    I haven’t really spoken to my crush, so my attraction is mainly physical.
    I love how tall he is, his caramel skin, his silky black hair, his gorgeous dimpled smile… oh no I’m blushing 🙂
    This series is definitely coming at the right time because I’ve actually been sitting here wondering how God can be as intoxicating and as awesome as a crush. I know He is… it’s just hard to feel the same about God as I do about guys.

    • Stephanie Joy

      I totally agree! How does God fulfill the physical longings of our hearts? He created those desires, but how does he fulfill them exactly?

      • miss K

        haha I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling that way!
        Reading these comments made me feel so shallow…

        • Stephanie Joy

          I totally get what you’re saying, but like I said, those are God given desires, and I’m just as confused as you are as to how the Lord fulfills those

  • Mindy Catherine

    How he loves kids and you can just tell. How he smiles with his eyes and not just his mouth. His service to others. And most importantly, his love for Christ.

    • Anonymous

      You totally just described mine as well!! He loves kids and is really great with his younger siblings. His eyes tell you almost everything about him from when he is overjoyed;to when he is sad. He is also patient with me even when I’m flustered and won’t make me feel like an idiot. Nothing’s more attractive then a guy glorifying God! He is very respectful and talented. We’ve been apart for a long while now and It’s been tough but God provides all my needs. Feel free to pray that both of us would follow Gods plan. Wow, I really went off on a tangent! I only meant to type the 1st sentance lol!

  • liz99

    How great his is with kids and how passionate he is about God. Also, his sense of humor.

  • Marley Nicole

    How he is not afraid to show how much he loves God.

  • Isabella Jo

    He teases me about things that he knows don’t bother me. He would never make fun of me about things that upset me. He is constantly growing in his faith and he has stayed so strong as he’s gone through major struggles recently.

  • Stephanie Joy

    Eeek! I’m so excited about this! Just this week I’ve been thinking a lot about what I long for in a relationship as a single girl and how Christ can fulfill those deeper longings. I know intellectually that the Lord can do this, but practically I don’t understand how this plays out.
    So here is what I really like about my crush:
    – We have long deep conversations about life and faith. I’ve never connected so easily with anyone. He has quickly become my best friend.
    – I trust him with everything, even my flaws and failings
    – He makes me look at life and God from a new perspective

  • Rene

    I love his smile, the way he holds himself, the love he has for other people and children, the way he talks, his thoughts in government, and that he wants to have a big family when he is married.

  • JILL

    I love the heart to heart conversations that he and I have and I love the fact that we can laugh and have fun together.


    Hello paula, here are my top 3 things i like/love about my crush…
    1) he is non-initiative at all since he is only ALMOST turning 17 and me turning 16 soon, so i have many opportunities to learn more about him without actually BEING with him.
    2) the way he smiles at everything. and the previous encouragements when i was down.
    3)not CRAZZYY like the other guys at my church, but very still participates with them. For the time being, it seems like he is “slow to anger and slow to speak”

  • Nauti

    What I like about my crush would be how in love he is with his faith and the joy he has when he teaches about Jesus.

  • Mandy

    I love how funny and weird he is, how kind he is to everyone, and that he loves Jesus.

  • Emma

    What I like about my crush is….
    He is great with kids, and you can tell he really likes being around them.
    He is very sensitive about how other people feel and obviously feels bad when he accidentally offends them.
    He seems to be the peacemaker in the boy’s group at church.
    He teases me and banters with me in a friendly sort of way.
    His contagious laugh.
    He’s on our local swim team, so he’s VERY tan.
    His eyes. 🙂 (I have to confess, I’m a sucker for blue eyes.)
    This is actually kind of a coincidence that you posted this, because my mom recently challenged me to not point out guys’ faults but just observe them and find out what good qualities they possess. Its much more uplifting than pointing out their bad qualities.
    I am really excited for this, because I have been looking for ways to grow closer in my walk with God since most of my crushes really don’t end up going anywhere. Thanks for posting! 😀

  • Near

    I have a lot of crushes. 90% of them are fictional characters (livin that fangirl lyfe) LOL

    My one irl crush I liked for a year and 3 days. He is super attractive and nice. We met at church camp last year and we worked together to build this sled. After building the sled we stood in line together for dinner and talked and stuff and the whole time I’m like “OMG this guy is amazing”!!! That was a year and 3 days ago and I’ve admired from afar ever since.

    Here are the qualities.
    ☆ He loves his friends
    ☆ He seems to have a nice heart and wants to work with Junior High ministry at church
    ☆ He has a GREAT sense of humor and fun
    ☆ He’s really attractive (my mom even thinks so)
    ☆ He is respectful and can carry on nice conversation
    He’s pretty great. One thing though.

    I kind of find myself as a bit of an outcast sometimes at church. The other girls are really into popular stuff right now and are bestirs at school and sports etc. I go to a different school, don’t like sports, and don’t like all the same pop culture stuff. I once asked “Do any of you like anime?” (My faveeee) and I got blank looks and “what’s THAT?!?” Also at camp this year all the guys (including the one above) invited two of the girls to sit at their table for dinner and they were laughing and talking and I was just sitting there watching that girl sit right next to him laughing and talking and stacking cups and whatnot while I just looked over. No one notices me, guys-wise. What should I do? How can I get him to notice me?

  • Morgan Evans

    I like how confident he is. It catches my attention when he is brave enough to be friends with anyone who doesn’t have a friend. He is also very smart.

  • Rebecca

    I love the way he laughs and how his eyes sparkle every time he looks at me. I also love his voice. Listening to him sing totally brightens my day.

    • Rebecca Brown

      Oh, and he’s amazing on the piano. Also, he is planning on going on a missions trip with me this summer. He’s on fire for God and I think that’s the most attractive thing about him. As for more physical features, I love his hair (like sometimes I imagine running my fingers through it 🙂 and his biceps!!

  • Mr. P (or MRP;)

    I love the combo of dark hair and blue eyes.

  • Sarah

    Oh wow. Like honestly there’s this one guy I have a crush on but it’s kind of a CFA (crush from afar–which is most of my crushes) and I really mostly like him because of his relationship with God–there’s a lot of things I’ve prayed for my future husband that I’ve seen in him but I know I have to guard that and also with him it’s kind of silly for me to have a crush on him because he’s a senior in college and probably moving away and we run in very different spheres. Also I just want to be friends first. I was totally going to talk to him but I wasn’t sure he even knew my name until last night. I asked him to be friends on Facebook though this morning because I’ve known him for a whole and it really isn’t a big deal. But as far as outward things in general that I tend to have in my crushes– a welcoming smile, and gentle yet strong.

  • Grace

    I absolutely LOVE his character. Oh my goodness, he is one of the few guys I’ve ever met who is soo focused on God and is not flirty. To me, that is awesome.

  • Sammy

    gosh.. wow.. a few things I love about my special guy is his voice, the way he treats me with respect and especially how he honors my decision to wait on dating… I also love how he strives to seek the Lord above all.. 🙂 cant wait for more videos!!! 😀 ^_^

  • Emily

    I love how he makes fun of me in a loving caring way and I can do the same back at him. We tease each other and have so much fun just being around each other. I also like that he cares for me so much, and I don’t expect it to last that he cares for me in that way but we will probably always be good friends because we have known each other for a while and our families are both really close.

    • Rebecca Brown

      I know exactly what you mean! I’m in the same situation with my crush! He’s awesome.

  • Mel

    I love how he talks to me. How he actually wants to have a conversation and is interested in me. I love how he can be serious but sometimes still joke around. I love how he encourages me to do the right things.

  • Emma

    The things I like most about my crush: his smile, personality, and his determination. The thing is I don’t know if he is a true Christian, I’ve heard he is catholic. I know that I shouldn’t like him, but I do. And I don’t know what to do about it!!!

  • disqus_9YIEoTtyjw

    What I like most about my crush is that he is a gentleman. He cares for me, his family, friends, himself, strangers, and God. He is funny and takes time to be there. I’ve never met anyone like him before and I’m excited to see what God’s plans are for the future.

  • CheenyGel

    Hello. Where can I buy your book here in the Philippines? Thanks and God bless!

    • Paula Hendricks

      Thanks for asking, CheenyGel! It’s available on Amazon.com. Do you have access to that?

      Let me know,


  • FreedomGrace

    What I like most about my crush is that He loves Jesus and He reflects that daily. Also he’s funny. He makes me laugh. I like anything that has to do art. So this guy He loves nature and photography. He captures pictures of sky and night stars or maybe something as simple as a flower blowing in the wind. But I love that he’s able to see beauty in God’s creation. Also he does open Mic nights. He is an AMAZING poet! His poems are just great. Lastly he just seems like a great person to have conservation with. Hes interesting. I would like to spend time just getting know him!!:))

  • ems87

    He’s funny
    He’s sweet
    He’s good with family
    We have a lot of similar interest
    We’ve known each other for a long time
    He’s handsome
    But he’s not a believer and that sucks.

  • Grace M.

    What I like most about my crush is his shy smile. The way he is with kids. How he’s a complete gentleman. The way he treats me. The way he laughs or the way he makes me laugh. He’s super sweet, and nice to pretty much everyone. But what I like the most about him is that he’s a Christian and not ashamed of it. Most guys are embarressed about it or don’t talk about it, but he’s strong in his faith even if he gets some flax for it at his school.

  • I so recommend for all of you ladies:

    When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy


  • Ronnie

    I love it when I forget who God is or the truth, my crush reminds me with scripture and prays for me. He’s so funny and vulnerable with me. Sometimes I just want to listen very clearly and audibly the truth cause Im not very smart and Im a stupid sheep. I can’t hear Gods voice and I need more than just reading and listening to sermons and music. I need human interaction. That’s why I like my crush. Yet I should put God first. It’s hard. 🙁 prayer needed.

    • Olivia Chambers

      I just prayed for you. 🙂

    • His♥Forever

      First off you are not a stupid sheep! That is a lie from the
      devil! God loves you and you are VERY valuable in His eyes! Read Psalms 139 and
      Psalms 103 about how much God cares for you. Soak up those words, read them
      like they were written for you because they were! And BELIEVE THEM!

      Hearing Gods voice isn’t just for preachers… God wants to speak to you! we were created to have 2 way conversations with Him! look at Adam and Eve. Talk to Him
      honestly about not being able to hear him, even though it might not seem like He can hear you He can believe that to! Take time to listen and focus on God. Dig into His WORD and devour it… another thing, when you read the Bible read it like its God talking to you.

      I hope this helps you. if you want to talk more I’ll be checking back here. I’m praying for you girl!

    • Ronnie

      Thanks for the replies. Update: I gave him to God. No longer have feelings for him other than a brother. Here’s a tip that worked: see him as if he’s married. Also tell a friend to pray for you.

  • Emma

    This sounds like a great series-really excited for it! For me, I love that my crush is a real gentleman and he has a lovely smile 🙂

  • Tumi M

    What I like about my crush is that he is so humble, a real gentleman. He can sing, and writes music. Christian music. I’m a vocalist both at church and in the university choir so I find it really cute when a guy can sing. He also plays the keyboard. He has freckles, which I really adore and to top it off, he is born-again. He is pretty smart, and is an advocate for change. Ooh and he is reallllly handsome.

  • Jaryn

    Some things I like about my crush are his smile, he has the cutest laugh, he has really nice blonde hair (I have a thing for blonde guys ☺), he has screaming blue eyes, he is sweet, good with little kids, he can play the guitar, he is very athletic and most importantly he is a strong Christian!

  • Olivia Chambers

    I don’t have a crush right now but I do admire it when guys are respectful. What I mean by respectful is those who gladly abide by guidelines, who honor those in authority, and who regard people as precious children of God (even those who are rude) and treat them in a Christ-honoring matter that is filled with love.