Does God Still Reveal Whom We Should Marry?

The Lord answered Abraham’s prayer for a wife for his son, Isaac with a sign and a drinking jar (Gen. 24). He told Hosea exactly when he should seek a wife and what kind of woman she should be (Hos. 1:2). An angel came to Joseph in a dream and told him to take Mary to be his wife (Matt. 1:20).

Clearly, when God wants to, He is capable of revealing exactly when and whom we should marry. But is that His standard operating procedure? Should single gals (and guys) everywhere be looking for a sign or waiting for God to download the name and location of a future spouse directly into their brains?

Probably not. Certainly, God has been direct and specific in this area before and He can do it again. But there is danger in using your heart like a compass, pointing it toward this fella and that fella and hoping that God gives you a signal to start marching down the aisle. It is wise to seek God’s input as you look for a spouse, but as you do here are three things to keep in mind.

Feelings aren’t facts.
When it comes to love and marriage, feelings aren’t the best barometer for God’s will. In the biblical accounts where God reveals a specific spouse, there is always something bigger than feelings used as a confirmation. Abraham’s servant prayed for a sign and saw it. Hosea heard directly from the Lord. Joseph was visited by an angel in a dream. If you feel like God is directing you toward a specific person to marry, ask for confirmation that goes beyond a “gut feeling.”

Stay tethered to the Word.
The Lord gave Hosea some very strange instructions for finding a wife.

When the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him, “Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her, for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the LORD” (Hos. 1:2).

I tell you that because it’s the exception to what I am going to write next. (And it was more about the bigger picture in the nation of Israel than it was about Gomer and Hosea’s union.)

If you want to know whom God wants you to marry, study God’s Word. There are many places in Scripture where God gives us guidelines for the kind of guy we should “yoke” our lives to. Rather than treating the will of God like a magic eight ball and hoping to hear a “yes,” “no,” or “reply hazy try again,” listen to God’s voice by reading what He has already spoken.

Here are several posts from our archives that can help with that process.

I Found Your Perfect Man In Tennessee
Is He the One?
He Must Be a Leader
He Must Pray
He Must Bear Fruit
Will He Be A Good Husband?
What Kind of Guy Should You Date?

Stay surrendered.
If you will marry, when you will marry, and whom you will marry are big questions. The answers are even more significant. Instead of desiring God to make things easy on you and simply give you the name of a future groom and a chapel reservation, it is much wiser to stay surrendered to the Lord in this area.

Seek His will as a single gal. Seek His will as an engaged gal. Seek His will as a married gal. Don’t assume that once you become a Mrs. the hard work is done. The goal is not to find a guy and get hitched. The goal is to live surrendered to the will of God and committed to His agenda in all seasons.

About Author

Erin Davis

Erin is passionate about pointing young women toward God's Truth. She is the author of several books and a frequent speaker and blogger to women of all ages. Erin lives on a small farm in the midwest with her husband and kids. When she's not writing, you can find her herding goats, chickens, and children.

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate. We may edit or remove your comment if it:

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  • MadameDee

    Thank you! I really needed this answer 🙂 I had “heard” it before, but never has it been broken down like what I have read here.

  • Rosy

    Oh I hope I marry him!

  • Nikki

    Yes there’s a specific man of God my heart desires to marry but I know that doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s the man God has chosen for me. I will continue to saturate myself in Gods word because I know there I will be given the answer indeed. I just say love the Lord with all your heart “FIRST” and he will grant you all your hearts desires as he’s a God that shall not lie!!

  • INeverTellALie

    With so many women these days that are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, and very greedy, is the real reason why many of us Good men are still Single today as i speak.

    • Dani

      Perhaps its your attitude towards women that needs adjusting. People are people. Many women could say the same about men. We all have fallen short and need a savior.

      • Valerie Ann Cummings

        amen agree

        • Brad Kell

          What about women? Some of you seem to think you are special. You arent

          • Truth

            Most of these women really think they’re all that which most of them are real losers altogether.

      • Truth

        Most women are very horrible these days unfortunately, especially the ones that Don’t have any respect for us men.

      • Ethal

        Any woman that is wondering why men refuse to date and marry, should look to this Jezebel as the reason why.

        Of this generation, never before has a generation of women, been so whoreish. Of this generation, never before has a generation of men, been composed of so many virgins.

        Women cannot say the same of men as a class, because 80%-90% of women, are all sleeping with the same 10-20 men in any given locale.

        Men have not fallen short, they walked away. Away from an evil society of Jezebel’s that oppresses us from youth. Away from evil church’s/synagogues of Satan, where the hirelings seek to turn good husbands into cuckolds, and promote divorce and adultery.

        Men by and large, do not want or yearn for forgiveness, men want justice. But neither in Heaven or on the earth, does justice exist, so men have walked away from God and Christ.

        It is better to have never been born, then to live through this age of sorrows. I only pray, to live long enough to see the hiringlings and Jezebels, brought to divine justice, as the Messiah comes in his fullness.

        • Erin

          I don’t think we should be blaming Christian men. I don’t think we should be blaming Christian women either. The problem is a heart problem that you have and that I have. Calling out the women of the society should be done, but not while overlooking the godly women who are still out there. This does them a disservice, and it is not showing love to your sisters in Christ.

    • Bruce Halstead

      Hey bro you said a mouthful I don’t know why our woman don’t want to pray anymore booth of my grandma’s kept me on my knees since I was a kid im54 now Jesus prayed best example for all of us

  • Helen

    When seeking a mate, the only qualifications needed are, he must be Godly, he must be a leader, he must pray, this is bible so that’s what I want.

    • Valerie Ann Cummings

      I think we should like him maybe love him also

  • Josh

    This is not very good advice. It is a false belief to assume that the sign post is more relevant than that which it points to. God speaks the Bible makes this clear over and over. And it is clear that God speaks to our hearts on many matters. Your advice is fortune cookie talk. You take a few phrases that describe a “good man” or a “godly man” and assume that somehow these are sufficient qualifications for finding the right somebody. But really using scriptures to guide you in these matters is not alot different than using your horoscope. You can read into the words an unending number of ways this doesn’t mean you are going to be able to make the right decision. The Bible requires that it is interpreted from a relevant authority, this can only be either those with apostolic authority or the holy spirit. Listening to the heart is extended essential.

    (Additionally understanding scripture requires knowledge of hermeneutics)

    • Miles

      I suppose you have the Holy Spirit to teach you scriptures and to guide you in your spiritual life,
      You only need apostles, prophets, teachers, and your pastor to teach you and confirm in your heart either by scripture or by the rhema Word of God
      What He already spoke in your life

  • Bobby Kspaul
  • Rhonda Michael

    I will like to share my experience although the story is quit long i will try to be brief. Michael and i have been married for Four years now, we have been doing relatively fine although is mother doesn’t like me,she has been trying to separate us ever since we got married. All of a sudden my husband started acting weird, he doesn’t eat home anymore nor relate with or play with our son. He came home one day and said he wanted a divorce, i was so heart broken and confused i didn’t know what to do. I was surfing through the net one faithful day and i came across an article about how to cope with divorce and all that. after reading it someone commented on how she was helped by a spiritualist/spell caster who helped her in saving her marriage, she dropped the spell caster email address so i decided to contact him. He promised to help me in getting my husband to love me like before and he promised me that he wouldn’t want the divorce once he is done with the spell. surprisingly he made it happened and i didn’t spent much. All i am trying to say is sometimes we need a little help in keeping the ones we love, i am not ashamed of what i did plus it doesn’t have a negative effect on him.
    If you need this spiritualist help in saving your marriage you can contact him on his email address