God’s Truth On Your Secret Sexual Sin

WARNING: The following content might not be appropriate for all readers.

From the LYWB.com team: We’ve received lots of comments lately from girls wrestling with masturbation. We’ve written about it here and here and done a vlog about it here, but since we continue to hear from so many of you on this subject, we decided to recruit some help. Meet Tim and Aileen Challies. Tim is a pastor and author. We thought he’d be a good voice on this subject because of his book Sexual Detox: A Guide For Guys Who Are Sick of Porn. We love how the Challies point you toward the Word of God to answer your questions about this tough issue.

The Bible is not silent on the subject of masturbation. It does not leave us guessing. It’s true that Scripture never mentions masturbation specifically. However, because the Bible does speak thoroughly and explicitly about sexuality and sinful lust, it doesn’t have to speak explicitly about something so closely related as masturbation.

Let’s look at two ways we can know that the Bible speaks to masturbation without ever naming it.

First, consider that if masturbation is extremely common (as are most sins), and nearly always associated with sinful lust, we can safely assume the same was true in the ancient world. So think of Jesus delivering the Sermon on the Mount. He essentially said “to imagine having sex with a woman is a kind of adultery” (Matt. 5:28). Don’t you think masturbation is a clear application and exactly the kind of action He was thinking about?

Second, consider that the Bible never refers directly to abortion. Yet because Scripture speaks clearly about the value of human life and the sin of murder, we are right to conclude that abortion is sin. In almost precisely the same way, because Scripture speaks clearly about the power of sexuality and the sin of lust, we can conclude that masturbation is nearly always sinful. In each case the specific action is so closely linked to the larger category of sin that the connection and shared moral status are simply obvious.

The Damage Done
Why, exactly, is masturbation sinful? Most importantly, just like any other sin, because it violates God’s holiness. Masturbation is against God, against His ways and His purposes for how men and women are to relate to one another in a marital union that reflects the relationship of Christ to the Church.

Masturbation is also sinful because it compromises us. We are made in God’s image. We are meant to glorify Him in every aspect of our lives, and masturbation hinders us in this mission in two principal ways—by polluting our minds and by inclining us to isolation.

Mind Pollution
Sexual gratification, of course, is not merely a physical act, but one that engages the mind, often quite intensely. During masturbation, pornographic images, whether seen externally or visualized internally or just plain imagined, nearly always provide a kind of fuel. Indeed, the vast majority of the time, these fantasies are nearly impossible to separate from the masturbation itself. This type of fantasy can be dangerous in at least two ways.

First, as most adults have learned the hard way, reality is rarely as wonderful as fantasy. Many people create expectations for sex that reality cannot meet. In fantasy everything always works, the other person is always willing and able to participate. In other words, it is nothing like real life. And in that way fantasy eventually and inevitably forms unhealthy and unrealistic expectations of sex.

Second, just as sex scenes in movies rarely involve married couples who can, before God, legitimately enjoy sex, fantasy will rarely revolve around legitimate sexual partners. In theory, it is perfectly fine for a woman to dream of a sexual encounter with her husband, but beyond that God gives us no right to fantasize, even about a pretend husband or a person who may one day be a husband. Masturbation, even under those circumstances, may encourage any woman to fill her mind and desires and fantasies with thoughts of other men. And a single Christian woman, having no God-given partner with whom she can consummate sexual desire, simply has no legitimate reason for pursuing sexual fantasy at all.

Some will protest that when they masturbate it is merely a physical act, something done to relieve stress or boredom. They will insist that they do not succumb to thinking inappropriate thoughts. I am extremely skeptical of these claims, but I do not dismiss them, because I cannot see into anyone else’s heart or read anyone else’s mind. But even assuming, for the sake of argument, that a small proportion of women masturbate without any pornographic images or fantasies in their heads, there is still at least one powerful reason why masturbation is so harmful.

A close examination of the Bible’s teaching on sexuality uncovers no reason to believe that God ever intended sex to be a private pursuit. Indeed, the heart and soul of sexuality is the giving and receiving of sexual pleasure between two people—one husband and one wife.Sex is intended to be a means of mutual fulfillment, an expression of love in which a husband thinks foremost of his wife and the wife thinks foremost of her husband. It is a uniquely powerful means by which husband and wife can fulfill the Lord’s command to esteem another higher than oneself. As they fulfill each other’s needs, they also have their own needs fulfilled. It is a beautiful picture of intimacy! As any married couple can testify, the more selfless the sex, the better sex becomes. The more each spouse seeks to please the other, the more fulfilling, gratifying, and beautiful the experience.

This mutual giving and receiving, the heart of God’s purpose for sexuality, is exactly what masturbation does not and cannot provide. Masturbation strips sexuality of its divine purpose of mutual fulfillment. Where legitimate sexual expression is meant to produce unity, masturbation produces isolation and division. Masturbation is inherently self-centered. An act meant to be shared toward two people is completely and exclusively about one person, all alone. Masturbation deeply undermines a woman’s ability to deny and resist her most self-centered, sinful, isolationist tendencies.

Masturbation simply cannot fulfill God’s design for sexuality, and thus has no place in the life of one who calls herself a Christian.

Note: If you are someone who has struggled with masturbation or other sexual sin, be sure to come back to the blog tomorrow for Tim’s post on handling the guilt.

(To read part 2 of this post, click here.)

About Author

Guest Blogger

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate. We may edit or remove your comment if it:

  • * Requests or gives personal information such as email address, address, or phone number.
  • * Attacks other readers.
  • * Uses vulgar or profane language.
  • Anon

    You could just masturbate when your body feels the urges. It’s safe, healthy, and natural. Don’t risk your personal well being over the thought of ticking off your imaginary friend. : )

    • Carrie @ Revive Our Hearts

      ​So… while we are thinking things through…would you leave this one alone?

      Thanks, friend…

      *Carrie Gaul*

      Revive Our Hearts | Biblical Correspondent

      866.842.8381 Ext. 2089


      ReviveOurHearts.com | TrueWoman.com

      Revive Our Hearts

      Calling Women to Freedom, Fullness, and Fruitfulness in Christ.


  • Anonymous

    This is total crap. Masturbation is healthy for teenage girls, it helps them understand their bodies better. Sometimes Christians amaze me with how backed up their vaginas are, like holy cow. Get real. Some studies have even shown that people who masturbate are more likely to have fulfilling sexual relationships, AND IT AIDS IN PROTECTING CHASTITY. That means, you’re gonna be good at sex when you’re MARRIED. So done with the bs on this website…just learned that apparently, homosexuality isn’t a real thing. LOL. What were all the studies on the xq28 chromosome for then??? Cripes, would you pull your head out of your ass, it’s not a hat…

  • anonymous for now

    I have a similar question, though it’s only happened a few times. I was recently tempted to give into this sin again. though I’m currently right with God about it and have confessed the ones in my past. However, a few mornings ago, I was tempted just after I awoke and was still back in bed. Then, I dreamed I did it… I think. I’m not totally sure if it was reality or not. Then last night I dreamed doing it agin, along with everything that went into doing it in the past, including my thought pattern and stuff. I know this second one was a dream because I only woke up after the fact but it was a little unnerving. What should I do?

    • Scripture tells us that whenever we are tempted God has promised to provide a way of escape for us (1 Cor. 10:13). Taking your thoughts captive ( 2 Cor. 10:5) during our waking hours requires we practice what one author calls “threshold thinking”. This means that every thought that crosses the threshold of our minds must be examined in light of God’s Truth. If the thought is in line with God’s Word – then we may think on it; if it is not, then we must choose to dismiss it from our mind and to dwell on what is true (Phil. 4:8).

      As you actively engage in this battle to renew your mind in the truth of God’s Word you should also experience a decreasing occurrence of dreams that are impure. You must remember, however, that the enemy has no desire for you to gain or maintain freedom in this area; he will seek to destroy you in whatever manner he can. Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour (1 Pet. 5:8).
      Here are several steps that will help you guard against the attack of the enemy while you sleep.

      • Ask the Lord to show you if there are any areas where you have given ground to the enemy sexually – either physically or mentally. Repent of any sin that He reveals and ask Him to reclaim the ground that you have surrendered as a result of that sin. Then be purposeful in meditating and memorizing passages of Scripture that will serve as a shield against future attacks of the enemy.

      • Be diligent to guard against watching or reading anything that is promiscuous or questionable. Images and thoughts implanted in our minds become fodder for our flesh and the enemy.

      • Spend time praying each evening before going to bed. Ask the Lord to place a hedge of protection about your mind as you sleep.

      • Let your last thoughts of the day be focused on praise and worship of the Lord. You may even want to go to sleep quoting scripture.

      • If you awake from an immoral dream, immediately confess the dream and your desire to be free from such immorality to the Lord. Then use that “temptation” as a springboard for specific prayer. Choose a prayer target such as an unsaved loved one and resolve to pray for that individual every time you are plagued by an immoral dream. If the enemy is responsible for tormenting you while you sleep, he will grow weary of you using his “arrow of destruction” as a call to prayer.

      • If your parents are believers let them know of the battle you are facing in your dreams and ask them to pray for you. Exposing that which lies in the darkness to the light of truth removes much of the power of sin.

      I’m praying right now that you will gain victory over this area of assault and accusation against your mind!

    • kkh

      You should masturbate when you need to. It isn’t a “sin”. Do you really think these dreams will stop if you keep repressing your urges?

  • anonymous for now

    I don’t know if this will help so long after you posted, but though I cannot answer your question, I would recommend Josh Harris’ book “Sex is not the problem (lust is).” It’s really helped me in this area, maybe God can use it in your life too.

  • Virgo

    I never masturbated. Ever. Guess I’m really an angel and not just my mother’s opinion.

    • kkh

      You should try it! I mean, its YOUR body! Set it FREE!!

  • Kevin Eli Rivera

    Im a 22 year old male, and I thank God for the gift of sexual union, but I struggle with sexual urges, especially as a single virgin. I hate the fact that I go through this natural exual need that lust my mind, many times ive prayed, yet I fail.There has been times I wished I was never born because of this!! I don’t masturbate because I don’t want to, its because I have no self-control, while many of my friends married younger than me, they have won the war I go through, for I don’t desire to lust over a woman, but because my secual energy is desperately sky high! I hate it when I’m trying to avoid contact at looking at all the beautiful woman God created, yet out of no where my heart starts pumping, givng my secual urges in a high response, and also my emotional need for having a woman in my life. Ive had female friends, and never had a relationship, ive had feelings for them, but they have other man in their heart, or other reasons besides not having feelings for a relationship. I’ve truly lost hope, I ask God to show me more of him, I want to have intimacy with him, but this gets me nowhere. I feel lonliness in a conjugal way, and even if Christ feels my heart with his love, the physical lonliness is there…I pray that I wont go to hell for my sins, especially masturbation, which due to my urge of sex, and a virgin, im out of control, one week I battle it, then I feel like my springs are full, and what can I do?? I’m flesh, and only by dying I will stop sinning, if thats God’s will, then I have no choice but to accept death, so I will no longer hurt him….Life is beautiful, but sexual needs just kills it for me…All I want is to fall in love with a woman and with Christ even more….I’ve lost hope…marriage is beautiful, a challenge, but a blessing from God…if you are married, remember there is still hope to unite what God has united, and in love for one another, like in 1 Corinthians 7.

  • Carrie @ Revive Our Hearts

    Kevin Eli Rivera

    We appreciate you acknowledging the struggles you face as a single man.

    You will find specific help related to manhood at Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood (http://www.familylife.com/steppingup) and Every Man Ministries (https://www.everymanministries.com/). Both are excellent resources to help challenge and encourage men of all ages.

    Since this blog is for young women, your commented has been deleted.

  • Hermes

    “Is it true that God is present everywhere?” a little girl asked her mother; “I think that’s indecent.”
    Nietzsche, Die fröliche Wissenschaft

  • ConvictedLady

    Praise the Lord and Thank you for this blog.

    I have accepted Christ at the age of 17 and now I am 25. I have been actively serving the Lord in various ministries in the church. I want to serve the Lord with all my heart, mind and soul. However, I want to humble myself and acknowledge that I have sinned against our good Lord in this area of my life when I started doing this sexual sin. I remember this urges came up even before I was a Christian because I am fond of reading romance pocketbook. But when I accepted Christ this was erased in my mind, been victorious for a few years or so but it came up again after I borrowed my friends phone which unfortunately has pornographic videos. My flesh enjoyed what I saw.
    I asked God for forgiveness, and regained strength to live a pure life for few years and actively serving the Lord. But recently, I have did this sinful things again, I remember that it is because unconsciously of romantic movies or lovestory that I saw, and I have been stressed at work too. (I even doubt if this things called self-sex is a sin because I did this without thinking of someone that I knew) so I searched sites who could help me answer my question. I am very convicted, felt guilt as well. I really thanked this blog because it answers me clearly that this thing is a SIN.
    Now, I want to seek advice from you dear Christian readers and helpful author on how I can TOTALLY stop this.
    I have been serving the Lord faithfully, but I am really convicted and ashamed now and seems like the fire that I have in serving Him starting to slowly die, I even doubt if God could still forgive me..
    Please help. Thank you and God bless you.

    • There is no sin on earth that is beyond the forgiveness of our Lord, my friend. Do not allow the enemy to cause you to doubt God’s love and forgiveness. Christ died for all our sins – past, present and future. We are encouraged that you are sensitive to the conviction of the Lord and want to overcome this in His power.

      We encourage you to find one friend in whom you can confide and make time to confess your sin to her. She can pray for you, encourage you and hold you accountable by asking the hard questions about what you are reading and dwelling on. She could be one you call to talk to when you are struggling with fighting the temptations. God promises that He will always provide a way out so that we do not have to sin (1 Cor. 10:13). We just have to be willing to do the hard work and take the way out. You may find it difficult to confess this to a friend but when you bring your secret sin out into the light, the power that our enemy seems to have over you will be diminished. Will you pray and ask the Lord whom you can talk to about this?

      We also want to encourage you to get rid of anything that seems to trigger your sexual sins. Consider romance novels, movies, music – whatever seems to stimulate those urges. Please listen to what Paula shares what she did as she worked to overcome this in her life: http://tinyurl.com/6n87oxq

      The other thing we would encourage you to do is to memorize Scripture so that when you are battling temptations, His Word is readily available for you to use. You might consider Philippians 4:4-8; Romans 8:31-39 and Psalm 103. These will be powerful passages to have in your arsenal of weapons.

      We have paused and prayed for you today asking God to fill you with His courage to fight for purity and for Him to assure you of His eternal covenant love for you.

    • kkh

      Holy crap! (Literally) The name of this blog is perfect, at least in relation to the lies being told and the guilt being laid on people here! You certainly don’t need to be “forgiven” for something that is perfectly natural, and perfectly HARMLESS! The only harm going on are the unnecessary guily trips on this blog!!

  • kkh

    You people can’t be serious. Now masturbation is on the religious dogma list of so-called “sins”? Yet another reason to RUN from religion, and run swiftly! “The bible says….” You do realize that the bible was written by men, correct? You might as well be saying “The Catcher in the Rye” says…that was written by a man too. Good luck with all this dogma, and living in fear of a “hellfire”, and etc etc…. I will continue living in the light!! You poor scared rabbits.

    • BobTrent

      Masturbation has “always” been on the Christian list of sexual sins.
      Attacking Christian teaching that has been consistent for near 2,000 years isn’t going to go anywhere.
      Condemnation of masturbation isn’t exclusive to Christianity. Many other religions either condemn it outright or discourage the practice.

      • kkh

        I don’t care if it isn’t “exclusive to Christianity” or not, condemning masturbation is ridiculous. And I certainly don’t reserve my disgust of what religion does to people for Christianity exclusively by any means. The “my god is better than YOUR god” principle of all religions means nothing to me. It’s all the same concept of control. As far as not “Attacking Christian teaching…” some things need to be attacked. Like making people feel guilty all the damned time. Yay, religious dogma. Making people feel bad about themselves for thousands of years!

  • kkh

    You will CONTINE to have these “urges”, because it is NORMAL and NATURAL! Just do it already!! Who is it hurting? Absolutely, positively NO ONE! It’s far better than having random, anonymous sex and catching a disease or getting accidentally pregnant! Man, the guilt trips religion lays on people are nothing short of CRUEL!

    • BobTrent

      The urges are designed to urge us to have sexual intercourse to propagate our kind. Marriage is the prescription as the proper venue for expressing those urges.
      The unmarried, and the married who are unable to have relations with their spouses, have a built-in means of relieving the urges periodically. Men who do not have sexual intercourse occasionally have spontaneous emissions. Women’s tensions subside gradually without intentional sexual activity. Neither is harmed physically.

      • kkh

        Yes, we all have “a built-in means of relieving the urges”…it’s called masturbation. It’s normal, natural and perfectly harmless. Who is harmed by this? NO ONE. So if your comment was a roundabout way of saying masturbation is normal and harmless? I concur.

  • kkh

    I read these comments and they really make me sad. You guys are all being made to feel shame and guilt over something that is natural, and if it’s not compulsive, HARMLESS! How horrible to see that religious dogma is continuing to make people feel bad about themselves over something so trivial. A little sexual gratification that doesn’t give you diseases or get you pregnant…what’s the harm? Why do you think we have a clitoris? COME ON!! The guilt trips being spread in here, in the name of “Jesus”, are WAY more harmful than rubbing one out occasionally. “Lies Young Women Believe” is the PERFECT name for this site.

    • Carrie @ Revive Our Hearts

      Posting your personal thoughts is not a problem, but comments deemed inappropriate or slanderous of God will be deleted.

      • kkh

        “Slanderous of God”? I never said “Screw god” or “I hate god”, so…??? I would never “slander” any gods because I don’t believe in them. I’m not sure how that could be considered “slanderous” but I guess that’s your decision to make.

      • kkh

        Ok, how was my comment “slanderous” or “inappropriate”…because you disagree with me? So you decided I was “slandering” god? I don’t even BELIEVE in god! What I DO believe in is not making these poor women feel like they should be ashamed for masturbation! This is so sad. And this is exactly why I RAN, not WALKED from the church as soon as I could. And that isn’t “slander”, it is the truth. There are enough things in this world to deal with, without making people feel like big ol’ “sinners” because they rub one out occasionally, rather than having unsafe sex, getting pregnant, catching an STD… with all the generally craziness going on in this world, THIS is what you are worried about? How sad, and how unnecessary.

      • kkh

        “You people can’t be serious. Now masturbation is on the religious dogma list of so-called “sins”? Yet another reason to RUN from religion, and run swiftly! “The bible says….” You do realize that the bible was written by men, correct? You might as well be saying “The Catcher in the Rye” says…that was written by a man too. Good luck with all this dogma, and living in fear of a “hellfire”, and etc etc…. I will continue living in the light!! You poor scared rabbits.”

        So, please tell me how this comment is “slanderous of God”? I never even said the word “god” in the whole comment. And the bible being “written by men” is a fact. I would hardly call that “slander”. But this whole discussion?: They are OPINIONS, which is all ANY of this is, by the way. Whether or not there is a “god” is basically an opinion. My comments are to those who are laying guilt trips on people because they masturbate, and for those upon whom said guilt is being laid. Whether or not there is a “god” who thinks masturbation is “sinful”….I mean, that IS part of the discussion, no?

  • kkh

    Disobeying god…Seriously? The answer is you can’t stop it. Sex and masturbation are normal and natural. The religious dogma being laid on you is the only thing doing any harm to you. Our bodies were made to have sex. If you keep repressing those natural urges, you are going to keep having those dreams. Contrary to what you have probably been told, the “devil” isn’t giving you those dreams, those urges. It is simply because you are a HUMAN! It’s a natural human drive. “Prayer” isn’t going to change that! You aren’t a “bad person”, nor are you “sinning” because of this. Christianity teaches that “god” created the body…well he created sexual organs along w everything else, right? So is “god” so cruel, he would give you genitalia, and urges, but then tell you not to act on them? Why, just to torture you?? Just do what you need to, and let all that guilt go! Running from all that senseless religious dogma was the most freeing thing I ever did! Fortunately I was still a child, so not much damage had been done. RUN!

    • Carrie @ Revive Our Hearts

      God did far more than create sexual organs, kkh. He created the beauty of physical intimacy to be expressed between a man and his wife within the covenant of marriage. Sexual intimacy, by design, is far more than physical—it is a gift from a good God to be enjoyed according to His intentions by those He created.

      • kkh

        I agree with you 100% that sexual intimacy is far more than physical. I didn’t say a single thing about intimacy. The subject was how masturbation is a horrible, “sinful” thing in the eyes of this blog, correct? I was responding to that.

        Pronouns like “he” shouldn’t be capitalized. Sorry, I’m not one of those “grammar Nazis” on purpose. I can’t help it, I’m a part time copy editor.

        • guest

          Sorry, but when discussing a deity, then ‘He” is capitalized. As a “copy editor”, you should also know that the first letter of a sentence is always capitalized.

          • kkh

            Gee, really? WOW! Yes, I know that “the first letter of a sentence is always capitalized”. I think most first graders know that. Not sure about the quotation marks on COPY EDITOR, sine that is an actually job. It’s not a “supposed” position. Thanks for the attempt at condescension, though. Good job on that.

          • kkh

            And no, a diety’s pronoun is not necessarily capitalized. “He” is a male pronoun. So the thing that you call “god” is a man/male? Interesting.

    • Emily Bryant

      Kkh please for the sake of all of us why are you still on here testing the almighty??? Your really pushing the limit…please Lord return and seperate these goats from your … Your embarrassing…😴😴😴😴

      • kkh

        I love it when someone attempts to insult someone else, yet they can’t quite pull it off because of how they spell. It’s a bit of a …what’s the term…FAIL? Talk about “embarrassing”!! And at this point, I am “on here” because people are still replying to my comments and asking me questions. For instance, YOU just asked me a question. I will attempt to answer said question, and then be insulted by you for being “still on here”…that about right? How perfect. Again, I am certainly NOT the one who should be embarrassed.

      • Carrie @ Revive Our Hearts

        Hey, Emily Bryant,

        Your comment has been edited to reflect the guidelines here on the blog.

  • kkh

    THANK YOU!!! Give me a break with all the guilt and shame being thrown around on this site!!

  • kkh

    Don’t stop. It isn’t a “sin” to have a self-stimulated orgasm. Stop feeling so guilty already!

  • kkh

    Just masturbate! Who cares? All the guilt and shame being put on people when it is a natural, normal, perfectly healthy thing to do. And you can’t possibly believe what you said about your “Prince Charming” not showing up because you masturbated? That is the very guilt I am talking about. “Sin”…..ugh.

    • Lizz

      Oh please stop ! If you don’t agree ok, I’ll pray for you. But how many more times are you gonna have loree fight your misconduct to protect the minds of the girls who want to honor God. With the time you are wasting getting on this blog everyday. To fight. You can be looking up scriptures to back up your theory. I dun agree with you. But if your gonna speak boldly that God is ok with masturbation , then you need to back it up with scripture. 2 Timothy 2:22-this is the verse I’m using to back what I’m saying up. Now please go look it up

      • kkh

        First, where did I ever say “god is ok with masturbation”? I don’t believe in “god”. I have had enough religious dogma and scripture for one lifetime. AND…I certainly don’t need you to “pray for me”, so don’t waste YOUR time with that one. I am not in any way, shape or form “on this blog every day”….in the past year I have been on here, 4, maybe 5 times? Words have meaning, and your words are nonsense. Me coming on here and posting something that literally took 5 minutes is a far cry from “wasting my time” and getting on the blog “every day”. I hate to see young women have a guilt trip laid on them for something as unimportant as touching themselves once in a while. Give me a break. THIS is what you people are worried about? And if it were to come down to it, I could probably “out-scripture” you any day. But instead, I am free from the bonds of religious dogma. I don’t need to live my life by an ancient book that was written by men. You believe in a “god”? Great! Your choice! But leave these poor girls alone and let them do what they need to without poisoning their minds with “guilt and shame”. UGH, enough already!

        • Kahria Lowe

          1. YOU are “poising their minds. your telling me to stop making them feel guilty but I haven’t said anything to them, ive only talked to you. 2. These girls are feeling GUILTY because the holy spirit has convicted them. THEY got on the blog looking for help because God was convicting them. 3. you’ve been on here more than what you’ve claimed, you’ve responded to a lot of comments pressing in what YOU believe, so im not poisoning anybody. 4. If you don’t believe in God WHY are you on this blog? This blog is for Christian young ladies who Believe in The Lord- you say you don’t, so this blog is not for you. And if you don’t want me to pray for you fine. But I will pray for the girls on this blog to remember who their savior is and to keep their mind on what is true. Now I am done replying to you, and you can say what you want but, maybe just maybe… you got on this blog to disagree but maybe your hoping some of this stuff- is true

          • kkh

            1. I’m not the one “poising” people’s minds. (BTW, it’s “poisoning” not “poising”) I am not the one telling women they are going to go to hell if they touch themselves. These poor young women are at an already confusing time in their life, and you people come along and tell them that something perfectly normal and natural is a “sin” from which they need to “repent”. 2. These girls have absolutely NOTHING to feel guilty about. They are feeling guilty because of religious dogma, because they have been told by your ilk that what they are doing is “bad” and “wrong”, even though it isn’t. 3. I have no need to “claim” anything. How long and how many times I have been on here is a matter of public record. So again, saying I am spending some exorbitant amount of time is just a lie. And even if I was on here “every day”, so what? What do you care? But no, not even close. And this is a public forum, and I am entitled to my opinion, just like you are. Again, I’m not poisoning anyone, I am trying to help these women lose their guilt and shame over something as insignificant as playing with themselves. 4. I am on here because it is, as they say, a “free country”. I hate to see my fellow young women told they are “sinful” because they want to take care of natural sexual urges without going out and possibly getting into a relationship for which they are not ready. I am on here because religious dogma seems to often do more harm than good. I am on here because I am really, sincerely hoping that the days of shaming people for pretty darn insignificant things are over, although by the whole tone of this blog, apparently those days are still going strong. 5. As far as “hoping some of this stuff-is true”….why on earth would I want oppressing religious dogma and completely unnecessary guilt to be “true”? And your statement doesn’t really make sense anyway; “…hoping some of this stuff is true” really implies that the “stuff” on this blog is true, and from what I can see, yes, you people are really, truly laying guilt trips on people for masturbating. THAT is certainly true. Have a good one.

          • kkh

            Actually, you make me want to be on here MORE….maybe go through and reply to every single comment on here! Watch you REALLY get all twisted up about it! But no, I do have a life outside of this blog, and spending 5, 10 minutes occasionally commenting on a blog is certainly a far cry from what you think. But whatever you need to tell yourself so you come out the “right” one in all this. Your life so meaningless and your self esteem so low that you have to worry about how often a random stranger comments on something? Maybe you can go through and actually COUNT how many replies I have made, since you care so much!

  • kkh

    Just masturbate! What’s the harm?

  • kkh

    “LIES YOUNG WOMEN BELIEVE” is the perfect name for this blog. Telling women they are “bad” or “sinful” because they masturbate? That is one of the biggest LIES I have ever heard!

  • kkh

    You shouldn’t. If you need to masturbate, then masturbate! It’s a normal, natural feeling and you aren’t “going to hell” for doing it. Of course your “flesh craves it”… we are sexual beings and it is natural to want to have an orgasm. You shouldn’t feel ashamed, you really shouldn’t. “Repent”? For what?

  • kkh

    AMEN. The guilt and shame being laid on everyone here is amazing, and very very sad.

  • kkh

    Well, I am gathering that the people on this blog think we were “created” by one guy, and didn’t evolve from monkeys. So there is not much hope reasoning with them in that respect.

  • Kayliziel

    Thx for this post SOOO much. Everyday I struggle with this sin, that I feel I can’t overcome. It’s hard cause I struggle with waiting for God to send me my husband, so I just sit around thinking impure thoughts. I will remember everything in this post. Masturbating is a sin that is hard to overcome. But with Gid I know I will.

    • kkh

      Why are you feeling so guilty about something so normal, natural, and in the grand scheme of things, insignificant? We have people starving to death left and right on this planet, crime and violence running rampant, radical Islam threatening this planet’s very existence, and you really think you need to give yourself some huge guilt trip over touching yourself occasionally? Do you think praying day and night, and then NOT masturbating is going to get rid of your normal, human sexual urges? Who does it hurt? NO ONE. These are very different times than when the Bible was written. Maybe that book shouldn’t be taken quite so literally in this day and age. I think you will be fine if it isn’t obsessive compulsive or anything like that, as someone else said on here. I hate to see women like you being told you are “sinning” if you masturbate. Breaks my heart. And it is a much less harmful that many other ways of sexual gratification, don’t you think? Good luck, and stop guilt tripping yourself out!

      • Pete

        Nt good advice

        • kkh

          You are entitled to your opinion. I do not agree with you.

  • Emily Bryant

    First of all if you don’t believe in Jesus Christ is his name then why are you on a christian website??? Secondly you can feel it’s wrong that’s why you started reading this article in the first place but since these people gave you an answer you don’t like you throw a tantrum like a child… Jesus knew about unbelievers…

    • kkh

      WOW! The hypocrisy! You should go back and read your first comment, and then tell me again about “throwing a tantrum”. And that is BS anyway; how did I “throw a tantrum”? If you think that me telling young women to free themselves from this ridiculously unnecessary guilt equates to “throwing a tantrum”, maybe you should go and figure out what the word “tantrum” actually means. Because you are really, REALLY far off.

    • Carrie @ Revive Our Hearts

      Hey, Emily,
      Just a reminder that Jesus loves sinners—He came to die for us ( sinners) while we were dead in our sins—before we ever loved Him…He loved us.

      Grace and peace,

      • kkh

        This is priceless…”Let the sinner say what she wants, Jesus will forgive her…” An attempt to reign in Emily’s mania, while still being able to give me a lovely, backhanded comment. Hilarious. I love it, you made my day! 🙂

    • kkh

      First, you apparently have no idea on this earth why I “started reading this article in the first place”, so your assumptions are, of course, wrong. And I don’t need “answers” from this blog, so wrong again. I am secure with my own beliefs and knowledge. The guilt on here is unnecessary and harmful. Spirituality doesn’t have to be like this. We live in the real world, lady….a very complicated, confusing world. Things aren’t always so cut and dry. This guilt and dogma just seems harmful. Third, your arguments would hold a little more weight if you could form a proper sentence. Your hypocrisy is showing again. Saying I’m having a tantrum after YOU basically throw a fit in writing, saying I should be embarrassed after the way YOU write, etc. Thanks, though!
      Look, you wrote a whole pile of stuff, and I answered, and now you can comment about how much I am on here! It’s like some diabolical plan! Sorry, but come on. Have a good one.

  • Emily Bryant

    I commend these two pastors for talking about this… It is a disgusting practice… I fell victim to it before but thank the Lord he helped me out.. Jesus layed his life for these type of sins.. And it’s only fair to turn from it and lay our lives for him😄😄

  • Emily Bryant

    O ye of little faith… Those so called “natural urges” is lucifer the devil blind people!!! Hello!!! Please read genesis non believers this natural bull crap is all from the great dragon that old serpent yup you goy it the devil!!! Nothing new under the sun!!!! Wake up and look up and REPENT!!!!!☝☝☝☝☝☝

  • Allie :(

    Hey y’all, I don’t know if anyone even replies to these comments anymore, but maybe it’ll help to get it off of my chest…
    I’ve struggled with masturbation from a young age – I stumbled upon pornography completely by mistake, and I felt something I couldn’t name at the time (I’m pretty sure it was lust). Later, I found out how to masturbate… I didn’t even think that it was wrong at the time – however, I continued doing it to this very day.
    I’ve had periods where I haven’t masturbated, whether it’s from me not wanting to do so or just from not feeling the need to, but in the past few months it’s been almost an everyday thing for me. It feels great in the moment, but when I’m done I feel nothing but regret and shame.
    I don’t know what I can do to redirect this urge, but I DON’T want to masturbate or to feel this way anymore… does anyone have any advice to share?

    • Thank you for letting us speak into your life. I’m glad you are seeking help and wanting to overcome this. I want to encourage you to hear from a young woman who has struggled in this same area. She found victory and you can too! She shares specific things you can do in your battle.

      Tear It Out and Cut It Off http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/tear-it-out-and-cut-it-off/

      Of course just removing the triggers will not be enough. You also need to fill your mind with Scripture. I encourage you to be in Scripture every day and even several times a day. You might consider the times you are most tempted and make Scripture reading and integral part at that time of day. Memorizing Scripture will also give you the ability to have it close at hand in the spur of the moment temptations.

      I also strongly encourage you to find an older godly woman you can confide in. Confess your struggle to her and ask her to pray for you. She can be someone you can call when you find your resolve weakening. She can encourage you, pray for you and ask you the hard questions to hold you accountable. Will you pray about this? I’m praying for you right now.

    • Jackie

      Hi Allie,
      I have had the exact same problem. Last week I made a defiant decision to be saved. Since then, I have been tempted lots of time. But what you need to think about is honoring God and not doing anything you’d be embarrassed doing in front of him (although he is ALWAYS watching you, its just a little hard to remember sometimes).
      Something that has really helped me is reading the bible EVERY NIGHT and putting a slew of parental controls on your browser, computer or phone. Throwing away anything that reminds you or makes you want to mastubrate. And praying. A lot.
      Hope this helps

  • Anonymous

    Hi, I am a female and I REALLY NEED HELP on this. When I was in nursery school (age 4 or 5) I remember sitting in the tv room with my grandfather and aunt, they were watching a movie and it was a explicitly sexual one. They did not even warn me to leave the room instead they continued to watch it in my presence. From that same night I had restless nights, dreaming of sexual things.
    A few months later I got raped by my friends sister. From that day I began to masturbate. I then stopped masturbating at the age of 8 as I began to grow and gain knowledge that it is not right.
    However, even though I had stopped such sinful practice I have been tormented by sexual dreams of seeing women fornicating, seeing myself being involved in sex with a man, or seeing myself masturbating. I am 19 now, and it hurts most that I am still a virgin, live a God fearing life and still dream dreams that have nothing to do with my current actions.

    I really need help on how to pray out such horrible dreams.

    • Anonymous,

      I’m sorry for the battle you are in right now, my friend. Satan does indeed desire to keep you under a cloud of guilt, shame and condemnation. BUT GOD… has set you free from that, dear friend (Rom. 6:5-7; 14). Because of Jesus work on the cross there is now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Rom. 8:1).

      Scripture tells us that whenever we are tempted God has promised to provide a way of escape for us (1 Cor. 10:13). Taking your thoughts captive ( 2 Cor. 10:5) during our waking hours requires we practice what one author calls “threshold thinking”. This means that every thought that crosses the threshold of our minds must be examined in light of God’s Truth. If the thought is in line with God’s Word – then we may think on it; if it is not, then we must choose to dismiss it from our mind and to dwell on what is true.

      As you actively engage in this battle to renew your mind in the truth of God’s Word you should also experience a decreasing occurrence of dreams that are impure. You must remember, however, that the enemy has no desire for you to gain or maintain freedom in this area; he will seek to destroy you in whatever manner he can. “Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Pet. 5:8).

      Here are several steps that will help you guard against the attack of the enemy while you sleep.

      • Ask the Lord to show you if there are any areas where you have given ground to the enemy sexually – either physically or mentally. Repent of any sin that He reveals and ask Him to reclaim the ground that you have surrendered as a result of that sin. Then be purposeful in meditating and memorizing passages of Scripture that will serve as a shield against future attacks of the enemy.

      • Be diligent to guard against watching or reading anything that is promiscuous or questionable. Images and thoughts implanted in our minds become fodder for our flesh and the enemy.

      • Spend time praying each evening before going to bed. Ask the Lord to place a hedge of protection about your mind as you sleep.

      • Let your last thoughts of the day be focused on praise and worship of the Lord. You may even want to go to sleep quoting scripture.

      • If you awake from an immoral dream, immediately confess the dream and your desire to be free from such immorality to the Lord. Then use that “temptation” as a springboard for specific prayer. Choose a prayer target such as an unsaved loved one and resolve to pray for that individual every time you are plagued by an immoral dream. If the enemy is responsible for tormenting you while you sleep, he will grow weary of you using his “arrow of destruction” as a call to prayer.

      • If you’re parents are believers let them know of the battle you are facing in your dreams and ask them to pray for you. Exposing that which lies in the darkness to the light of truth removes much of the power of sin.

      I’m praying right now that you will gain victory over this area of assault and accusation against your mind! “The Lord shall be the stability of your times, a wealth of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge (Is. 33:6).”

      Serving Him,


      • Anonymous

        Thank You sooo much Lorree, I have taken that to account. I currently deleted music that I know has sexual content in its lyrics even though it is not explicit enough to realise, but as a child of God, one has to open up their spiritual eyes to see what is right and what is wrong. I have been praying every night, differently during these past four days, assigning the Angels of God to protect me and shield my bedroom with the presence of God and his Holy fire and peace. I must admit that I have been sleeping well these past four days after the prayers I have prayed, including quoting scriptures. I believe I am getting closer to God, understanding Him more after that situation. satan might have thought it was the end of me and I would have fallen into temptation, but his plan did not succeed.

        Thank you Lorree for keeping me in your prayers, it is great to be backed up in the Spirit. I will always read your reply when I feel down.

        Thank you 🙂

        • What wonderful news! There is power in the Word of God. Praying for you this morning. Persevere and be consistent in your battle. Stay in the Word, my friend! It will keep you anchored to the heart of God.

      • Benn

        Have you ever thought that God has given us masturbation as a way to relieve stress? a pressure valve of sorts? We are the only animals on earth that do not have a mating season, or that can be aroused at any time. We can be aroused during menstruation when it impossible to become pregnant. This tells my logical brain that sexual release is not only meant for creation of children, otherwise we would only desire sex when when ovulating and pregnancy was almost guaranteed. How can you know what God thinks unless he tells you?

        • Carrie @ Revive Our Hearts

          Amazing isn’t it? The beauty of sexual intimacy between a man and woman within the context of a marriage relationship was created by God. Unlike the animals, men and women were created in the image of God—our lives, including our sexuality, have purpose and significance.
          Can I encourage, Benn, to begin reading tonight what God has told us in the Bible? You might start in the book of John.

          Bless you, Benn.

  • Marlin

    I have been struggling with this since the age of 5 and I am currently 16 years old.
    It’s so hard to get rid of sin that feels so good.
    How can I pray that God reveals to me how this sin breaks His heart? I do feel embarrassed for struggling with this, but I don’t feel guilty. How can God fulfill my sexual needs?

  • I probably shouldn’t post this, because I feel like posting on a religious website is a great way to get into an argument that I really would rather not have. I don’t know the Bible in much detail. I can’t quote you verses and give you proof behind my words. I can’t explain my thoughts clearly. And I know no one’s life or situation. However I would like to say a few things.

    After being brought up as a Christian but never really understanding it, I moved away from Christianity. The hypocrisy of the religion, ‘we love and accept everyone as God’s children, but we’re more than willing to chase away and abandon our own for expressing who God made them to be’. The sin-shaming, ‘God the father created us, but you’re doing something wrong so you should feel bad and hate yourself instead of rejoicing in the glory of what he has made you’. And the constant, sometimes ridiculous rules it forces onto our lifestyle in an era that was quite different from the one it was written in. My siblings used to have a go at me, my interest in mythology, the Egyptian, Greek, Roman gods, was sinful and meant I ‘wasn’t a real Christian’, despite the fact that my interest was from a historical standpoint. I stopped being a Christian. I didn’t go to church. I refused. It wasn’t that I had stopped believing in God, but rather that I had stopped believing in the Christian Religion.

    As a friend has said to me, I shouldn’t confuse faith with religion.

    About a day ago I gave my life back to God. And since I had also recently been exploring my body – and enjoying it, I decided to find out if being a Christian meant I had to give up doing what I loved. I’ve read positive responses and negative ones, and this may be from a biased angle since I am looking for a way to continue, but this blog just resonates badly with me. I don’t know what type of Christian perspective this is from but it’s just not mine. Reading the comments make me feel kind of sick inside, so I just want you all to know that God loves all of you. His love is the most powerful thing there is.

    As they’ve said, there is nothing in the Bible about masturbation being sinful or not. There’s only stuff about lust and sexual fantasies, about addictions to pleasures, and it promotes isolation and so on.

    I just want to say, I’ve never masturbated with someone in mind, or any particular sexual fantasy. That turns me off rather than on, I’d really just rather focus on what I’m doing.

    I’d also like to say that I am not isolated, I’m in a healthy relationship but even though we are legally allowed to have sex neither of us feel we are at that stage yet and it would damage our relationship rather than build it up. As some blogs have suggested, I’m not doing this because I am lonely, or yearning for another. Instead I feel that I’m being perfectly healthy in exploring my own body, it helps me have confidence in myself, in my knowledge, and it means that one day 2 less virgins are going to be awkwardly sitting there going ‘It goes in where?!’.

    From my research on the human body, I’ve also found out that a lot of woman don’t know how to masturbate or have never orgasmed during sex. Having being taught at a young age it’s sinful or dangerous to explore how their body works, they have come to sex not knowing the pleasure it brings, pleasure that they can give to God and thank him for. If sex is an act of worship towards God, isn’t it wrong if one person isn’t able to know it? That one person is left thinking ‘I don’t see the big deal, that wasn’t that great’? That’s not worship!

    The one thing that has been mentioned, that I am very guilty of, is obsession, or addiction to certain things. I get very easily obsessed, so I was masturbating each night, maybe more. I know that if something I must work on and become better at, I agree with that and will endeavour to improve in the future.

    Another thing I’d like to say has already been said by someone below, the Bible may have been given to us by God but it was written by men. We know that human minds can be easily clouded by the culture and ideas of the time, there are somethings in the Bible that no longer affect how we live today. We also often get very cryptic messages from God that are up for us to interpret, and we can get it wrong sometimes, very wrong. What’s written in the Bible is God’s will interpreted by man as best they can, fitting to what they knew at the time. And we all interpret things differently. The Bible has also gone through translation so it can’t be taken word for word. That’s why we should be able to interpret the bible our own way and perhaps not every word as it is and instead look for deeper meanings within them.
    The Christian religion is about more than rules and regulations. It is about you and your relationship with God. It is not about how many rules you follow, about how much you read the bible, about what you can do for God. It’s about what God can do for you. You are already saved. God already loves you. God knows we aren’t perfect. Christianity is about your own relationship with God. If God loves you and knows you, he understands what you’re going through. He understands what you think about yourself and why. Don’t feel such self-loathing for such a natural thing because God knows it isn’t you that is wrong, and he knows that you want to live for him.

    I don’t believe you should feel shame about exploring your body. I don’t believe you should feel shame exploring something God lovingly created for you. If you hate yourself for enjoying what is natural to you, aren’t you hating something God has intended for you to do. And my final thing I want to say is, it’s ok to seek help, forgiveness and morality from others. It’s okay to discuss what you believe God would want you to do. But don’t forget, this website, this blog is not God. It’s not. And it can’t take God’s place. So don’t settle on what they say is wrong or right. Don’t settle on what a stranger says is wrong or right. Don’t settle on what your family and friends say is wrong or right. Don’t settle on what your church says is wrong or right. For we can mess up a lot. Ask God what HE knows is wrong or right. And trust me, he’ll love you more for asking.

    And I’m going to finish by saying that there are a lot of things I disagree with. But I don’t want to live my life to contradicting messages. I’m going to forget these rules I speak of. That I can’t do this or that. That these people are wrong. That these people are sinners. I don’t believe that’s right. I think we are all amazing people. We all have so much to give and so much to love. So I’m going to keep loving these people and this world. The way I choose to be a Christian is to purely live out my life how I want and how I believe God wants. This means loving and accepting everything, everyone. This means acting in kindness and love to everything around me. This means following a path to make other people’s lives better. This means attempting pacifism as best I can, turning the other cheek instead of biting back. This means loving God and knowing he will do what’s best for my life, not I. This means asking God for the answers, not the internet.

    Embrace the whole of who you are. Your future. Your past. Your gender. Your sexuality. Your personality. Your shame. Your joy. Your mistakes. Your lessons. Your habits. Your efforts. Your love. Your hate. Your secrets. Your desires. You are one of a kind. You were made this way. And know that all of it is loved. All of it.

    I hope you understand what I’m saying. And I hope no one is offended by it. This is my opinion and my own. It just breaks my heart to see people feeling so much guilt and self-hate for something like this. I have tried my best to be respectful and understanding. I’m sorry for writing so much. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to explain my thoughts very well, it’s all a jumble and the more I write the more I forget. I’m sorry, but I’m going to keep on masturbating.
    Thank you for your time.

  • BobTrent

    All sexual sins committed privately are covered by the term “uncleanness” (Greek akatharsia). Committing them privately shows that the actors acknowledge their shamefulness, though hypocritically.
    Sexual sins committed openly, brazenly, with absolutely no sense of shame, are called “lasciviousness” and “filth” (Greek aselgeia).
    Sexual acts are not individually named in the Bible except in the Onan incident. Broad general terms such as “adultery” (Greek moicheia), “fornication” (Greek porneia) and “nakedness” (Hebrew ’ervah – an euphemism, as in “uncover her nakedness” = have sexual intercourse with) are used.
    “The abominable and detestable crime against nature, that should not be so much as named among Christians” is each of these sexual sins, which the legislators and courts were loath to mention in print.

  • BobTrent

    Scary is that you may find that the person you trust to confess to and seek counsel from is a masturbation addict herself! Try, if you can, to “vet” the ones you may consider sharing your distress with before pouring out your heart.

  • BobTrent

    The apologists for antinomianism (“no-law-ism”) and sexual libertinism (“if it feels good, do it!”) ignore what the Bible says. As I explained, “uncleanness” includes all sexual sin committed privately and “lasciviousness” includes all sexual sin committed openly and brazenly with no sense of shame.
    That specific names of specific sinful acts are not listed does not legitimize them in the sight of our Lord.

  • BobTrent

    Child molesting and cannibalism aren’t mentioned, either.

  • Taylor

    So, I don’t know if anyone is going to even read this or reply back.
    For as long as I can remember, I have masturbated. I honestly have no guilt about it. I know it’s very common for women to masturbate, and even if the thought process is wrong, why would God give us these sexual urges if we’re supposed to fight them? How does that make sense? Men masturbate often, and I know it’s very common for them, as well. Are they also supposed to resist the natural urge to pleasure themselves? I don’t understand how God would give us the need to gratify sexual desire but them tell us it’s a sin and by doing so, fulfilling our desires, we are sinful and in the wrong, and we need to repent for it. As a woman, I sometimes wonder if it’s maybe a social stigma on female masturbation because men and whoever else wish to not think bout women as “dirty” or “filthy” creatures. I just don’t see why God would allow that to be the case. Any thoughts on this?

    • Carrie @ Revive Our Hearts

      Hi, Taylor,

      Thanks for the opportunity to respond to your questions.

      The expectation of immediate gratification has become the cultural norm in our day. We’ve come to believe that the existence of a desire automatically assumes the fulfillment of that heart felt longing.

      But God’s ways are often very different than our ways.

      The God who created the beauty of sexual intimacy to be enjoyed between a man and woman who have entered into the covenant of marriage, also created within us a desire for both relational and sexual intimacy.

      Choosing to follow Jesus—who always walked in the ways of His Father, means that even in the areas of our unfulfilled longings we trust that Jesus will provide what we need–to walk in His ways—to wait upon His best.

      It’s an incredibly beautiful way to live, Taylor… always needing Jesus, who has promised to always be enough for those who place their faith in Him.

      My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts (Is. 55:11).

      Grace and peace,

      • Karol

        ” For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher
        than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts (Is. 55:11).” So dont tell people, masturbation is a sin and dont present your personal opinion as God’s commandment or as generally valid truth of God. If your 15 old son will masturbate, it will be sin because of: “Where legitimate sexual expression is meant to produce unity, masturbation produces isolation and division.”? So you would rather become grandmother in your sons 15? Or he doesnt have sexual tensions, cos he is holy? Holy son of holy mother, who never masturbates, just gets maried in his 25 and than all his sexuality starts? Come back to reality and dont cause traumas and psychosis to people. They and even religious people do not deserve it. Or to feel guilty from such normal and intimate thing.

        • Morgan

          Nobody denies that you have sexual desire before marriage. However, it’s faulty for you to believe that people are controlled by the whims of their emotions and desires. We have self-control; just because we have a sexual desire, doesn’t mean we absolutely need to have a sexual encounter. Of course, you’re right, it’s normal to have sexual desires, whether married or single. But again, we don’t have to be controlled by our desires. It’s a rather weak argument on your part to assume that one would go out to gratify their sexual desires with an actual person if they’re prevented to masturbate. Yes, some will, but masturbation is still sex. It’s just as much of a sexual act to masturbate as it is to have intercourses with an actual person. You’re entitled to your opinion, but this truly is more of a matter of fact than of opinion.

      • Kenneth Yu

        Hi, my name is Kenneth Yu. I am a man, yesterday I dreamed about getting sexualized myself from this nasty Flesh Lust which destroy every week. For example, Anal Sex, and Masterbation. Did you know why I done those sins? Back from my early age between Middle School and High School. I seen porn websites like Kink, Drawnsex, and others. Those websites that I saw which gives more lust of flesh to destroy people health. I have no idea what I’m thinking. I masterbate last night, and it felt good, right? Well, no it’s not. When you masterbate for to long, you will lost all of your health from your body, and the strength won’t give more stronger. Seriously, it just not the same thing from the porn I watched. Matserbation will give you strength loss, lost focus, side effect, hair lose, adultery, and channeling to hell. When I masterbate to long, it will lose my knowledge quick. Another thing from masterbation is, butt sex. Butt sex is a penis which channel through your butt which felt good about it. In reality, it isn’t the same at all. When I use the chapstick on the back, my butt from the inside was about to bleed little bit. I have no idea what I am thinking, did I jerk myself up? Well I did, and God is very angry. I am not supporting masterbation, porn industry, and other nasty things which turn against our Lord from heaven. I feel like I am in hell bondage. But Porn is a Lust of Flesh, and you can see why.



    • Morgan

      God doesn’t give us any temptations or wrong feelings. He doesn’t mess with our emotions or desires.

  • lorraine

    this is something i struggle with. i feel guilty and shameful as a Christians who talks about purity and how lust is sinful..and here i am doing exactly what i say is wrong. i know why it is wrong and i want to stop but the temptation is bad. I always end up going back to it. basically asking how do i handle the situation of stopping. I know praying for the strength of the Lord and to break the stronghold of temptation, but i don’t know if there are any other helpful tips. i would really appreciate replies!!!

    • Carrie @ Revive Our Hearts

      Thank you for sharing honestly the battles you’re facing, Lorraine. My heart hurts for the shame, guilt, and condemnation you’ve known as a result of this struggle.

      Because of Jesus, friend, there is hope! He is able to set captives free—and to bring from the ashes of our broken, messy lives a testimony of His love and grace.

      1 Corinthians 10:13 assures us that our battles with sin are not uncommon. Not only do others face the same temptation, but even more importantly God has made a way of escape for us in every temptation.

      “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.”

      James 5:16 gives us a vital step in that “way of escape”.

      “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”

      Confessing our sin to another brings it out into the light and often serves to lessen the power that sin has over us when it remains hidden in the darkness of shame and deceit.
      Is there a godly woman in your church or community with whom you could share your struggle, lorraine? I realize this will not be easy. But the freedom you desire comes through the humility of walking in the ways of our tender, merciful God.

      Will you take that step of faith this week, friend? Know I’m praying for you…

      Grace and peace,
      P.S. This True Woman Blog post may also be helpful to you, lorraine, https://www.reviveourhearts.com/true-woman/blog/what-happens-when-you-tell-a-fifty-year-old-secret/

    • Rebecca
      • erinleedavis


        I read the article you linked to. I’m interested in dialoging about it. What are your thoughts?

        Grace & Peace!

        Erin Davis

  • Rebecca

    You do not have to think about porn or other men and have a filthy mind. If you are single, I think God would rather you use your hand than go out and find a male hooker or go around in agony not knowing what to do when he gave you the ability to help yourself. There are so many what if’s in the Bible. Whoever wrote this, do you back away from the table when you eat too much? Do you have vain imaginations because you picture the man in the picture as Jesus when you pray because come on, no one really knows what he looks like so is that an idol you are praying too? This is something that God does not care if his children do. He put the desire there. He gave us the means to satisfy it and that doesn’t mean that we have to get married to do that. I think it is a far more sin to go out and have sex than to do it privately in your own home than in a truely sinful manner. It is not a sin. A sin is something God said not to do and nowhere, and I mean nowhere in the Bible does it say that it is wrong. You can make a sin out of anything. People too often want to brain wash others into believing their own beliefs instead of what the Bible truely says. The Bible says, for us not to be condemned in that which we allow. He said he didn’t come to condemn us. This is not a sin. A lie is a sin. Stealing is a sin. murder is a sin but masterbation is not a sin.

    • RJ Shah


  • Anonymous

    I really need help to deal with this kind of sin, but it happens while I’m sleeping. Most of the times, I’m dreaming about simple things of my daily life, not dirty things. For example, a subject that I studied or a place that I use to pass through every day. And I kind of feel when it’s going to happen before I sleep, I feel a certain temptation in my body. And when it happens I always pray and try to sleep in a way that I can’t do anything. But it happens, and I wake up in the middle of night feeling dirty, guilty, and I’m disgusted with it, I wanna throw up. I’m dealing with it through 3 years. I don’t know what to do anymore.

    • Carrie @ Revive Our Hearts


      I’m sorry for the struggle and emotional anguish you’ve known over the last several years.

      There is hope and freedom, friend—because of Jesus.

      I’m so proud of you for talking to the LORD about your struggle. I wonder if you’ve taken the step of sharing your struggle with a trusted, godly woman who can pray with and for you. Bringing our temptations and sins into the light often serves to lessen the power of the evil ones destruction.

      Though we don’t need to confess our private sins to another in order to receive God’s forgiveness, there is often a deeper healing and freedom that comes as we follow James 5:16, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed…”

      Would you commit to take that step this week, friend? Your transparency and openness would not only bring you greater freedom, but would like serve as an encouragement to the one with who you share as well.

      Praying for you right now, friend. Let me know how it goes…

      Grace and peace,

      • disqus_DH3QnSx47y

        I’m a female who became born-again last year. I didn’t masturbate or touched myself inappropriately for the whole year. About a week ago, I had laser hair removal of my private area and now that it’s smooth and hairless, I’m getting urges to touch myself. I really like how it looks and that doesn’t help because it makes me want to touch it. I don’t like how it looks with hair, but at least I don’t get urges when it’s hairy. I’m hoping that as time goes by, the sensitivity will decrease. What can I do?’

        P.S. Sorry I’m replying on someone else’s thread but I was afraid that if I posted on the main thread no one would see my message. Thank you and God bless!

  • Anonymous

    I know masturbation is a sin but how to get over it… I’ve been entangled by this sin since my childhood… And I’m 19 now… I was molested by family members both guys and girls .. It started innocently until I enjoyed it…. I found masturbation to also fuel the restlessness in me… I always wanted more… I didn’t tell any one about this… I got admission into d university 2013 …..I found the truth and reality in a serving God… It’s not last like I never go to church… I do, almost everyday… But my heart was far… But I came and saw youths like me serving God… I was encouraged and I told God I want to live for him alone… I joined the workers choir precisely and I was enjoying my relationship with him…
    I began to think of my past.. The terrible things I did and how dirty I would be before God… I was really disturbed… So I talked to my student pastor about it… I didn’t really say much… I just told her I had habit (masturbation) she prayed for me and encouraged me with her story of how God delivered her… She told me I just lean on Jesus, study his word, long for more of him …
    So I was a bit relieved that I could talk to someone.. I wanted to know God more and more… I was made d assistant choir leader… I was happy how God was uplifting me…
    But it didn’t last for long I fell so hard… Each time I fell back it becomes worst than d previous act… I could wake up and start masturbating…..I get really turned on while sleeping that as I wake up… I had to ease the tension… I’m in a state where my life runs in circle… Fall, repent, fall…
    Its affecting my academics.. ..I’m struggling to go thru school… I’m looking for a way out of this mess… I’m so ashamed to lift up my hands and sing to God on his altar… I need help… I’m sure my student pastor thinks I’m getting better….. But I’m not I dunno who to talk to… It has impaired my social life… I rilli want to talk to someone about it… D only thing I feel nw is anger, bitterness, my self esteem is dead….. I’m just occupying space I guess… Why is my life this complicated…..

    • We are thankful that you had the courage to speak to your student pastor. We encourage you to go back to her and let her know that you are still struggling. She will not know if you do not tell her. She can continue to pray for you. Perhaps you can work with here to come up with some form of accountability or have her check in on you so that you will have more of her prayer support.

      We strongly encourage you to begin memorizing Scripture. Hiding God’s Word in your heart is a great way to be battle ready for your struggles! Here are some passages that would be good for you to begin with: Psalm 103, Romans 8, 1 Cor. 10:13. Make the habit of having these in your mind first thing when you wake up in the morning and the last thing as you pillow your head.

      There are times that God heals immediately our sexual sins and other times we have to battle through the temptations, the falls, confession and God’s readily available forgiveness. We’ve paused and asked the Lord to give you the desire and strength to battle on to victory in this.

      God has a way through this, dear friend. He ALWAYS provides a way out of the temptations in our lives so that we don’t HAVE to fall in sin. Please know that I have prayed for you this afternoon.

      “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” (1 Cor. 10:13)

    • RJ Shah

      jus put a day for urself to relax
      easy…. dont get addicted dats it

  • Ashley

    How is masturbation a sin when never mentioned in the Bible? Religious people can be hypocritical by the things. The truth is it normal to self stimulate up to some to point. Maybe if people avoided pornography it will be different. It doesn’t make sense to label something a sin or wrongdoing when it’s never mentioned in the Bible. How it is a serious sin when never mentioned in the Bible? It’s logical that self stimulation is normal to up to point. Religions teaching that it’s a serious sin or wrongdoing: The things that are mentioned happen to be formication, adultery, beastiality, incest, homeosexuality, rape, and prostitution. Now pornography would be committing adultery in the heart. Religions teach that it’s wrong for people to touch themselves in the genitals, especially when there religion settings have child molesters and pediphiles that actually harm children. Young children around age seven or eight have naturally been known to explore themselves. The Catholic Church and Mormon Church are the biggest hypocrites amongst many religions. They have not a ideal the religion Itself is sinning it as they reach toward heaven

    • Ashley


    • Anonymous

      Thank you. My sister is convinced that masturbation falls under the category of sexual immorality. Oh really? Since when was exploring yourself ever considered immoral?? I don’t like the guilt mongering this site is dishing out.

      • Ashley

        Think of this way, people who call it a serious sin or wrongdoing have been extremely overly religious people. I do believe that some religions do judge people too harshly just for touching themselves. Women for example have to keep themselves clean. As a woman I don’t always use the term masturbation or self stimulation. Because of some personal issues I refer to therapeutic genital massage, in addition I don’t do it everyday though. Everyone is different. Self stimulation is therapeutic is some cases under certain circumstances. Not all people have a unclean mind. Masturbation or self stimulation is a solitude sense is nothing compared to formication, adultery, beastiality, homeosexuality, rape, child molestation, or viewing pornography which should or could be avoided, and prostitution. People seem to give people mean scolding looks at solitude masturbation looking at as a very serious wrongdoing sin that will get eternal burning fiery furnace hellfire or damnation, perhaps whatever they believe. Mutual masturbation might be going too far, but I would never take chances with it. It’s more safe to go solitude more than anything else. Just keep in mind try to keep busy with other activities such as a hobby or something- that way it will never lead to a unhealthy addiction or unhealthy habit.

    • Scott S di Vincenzo

      correct, you’re describing the fall of man & the results of lust in general . Its an impossible cross to bear without the spirit of conviction .

  • Scott S di Vincenzo

    WOW — notice to reformed / married pastors — 99.5% of human beings prefer sexual union over ( isolationist ) masturbation .

    just say it … God grants a sexual marriages to whom He wills … the rest of humanity is to mortify their sexual sin & its biological insanity .

    just say it … God sovereignty denies marriage / sexual union to whom He wills.

    2 Timmothy 2:22
    Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

  • Max

    I’m really scared because some people say it’s a sin and I don’t want to go to hell

    • Carrie @ Revive Our Hearts


      We are all sinners. The good news is that Jesus came to earth for sinners—like me and you. Check out this short video (http://vimeo.com/25251371) for more about this good news, Max.

      Grace and peace,

  • Bobbie

    I’ve masterbated too many times to count throughout my life. I was taught it was normal. My husband has health issues and doesn’t fully errect and has a orgasm within the first minute or two after just beginning intercourse. I’ve been sexually frustrated now for 8 years.
    I have to think of fantasies to have an orgasm. My fantasies are usually naughty. They never include anyone I know . No familiar faces. Just 3 or more people sometimes both sexes forcing themselves on me. It’s not violent. The males will have intercourse with me, thrusting hard and taking turns. They may rip my clothes off. The woman may caress my breast or perform oral sex on me. I’m not bi sexual its just naughty and gets me excited and once I’ve had a orgasm it’s done. Back to reality. But, I’ve given my life to Christ. I study the bible and his word 20 plus hours a week. So, the last time I masterbated I totally freaked out. It happened during the climax, the actual orgasm. The man having intercourse with me was an unknown person/face again. But his eyes turned into demon eyes. He was a demon. The sad part was it was naughty of course and during the climax and I didn’t stop him, push him away, or anything. Once it was done and over i was so angry with myself. That’s putting it lightly. I’ve prayed and begged for forgiveness and will not masterbate ever again. It must have hurt God terribly and I would never fo that on purpose. I feel so horrible and deeply saddened and disappointed in myself. Any thoughts???

  • oluremi

    I mastorbated during my daughters pregnancy, now she is mastorbating heaving,I cut her at different times, I have giving my life to Christ, how can I help my daughter out of the demon of mastorbaton

    • Sarah, with Revive Our Hearts

      Oluremi…the first thing you need to do is talk with your daughter. Help her to understand the trap that you have been delivered from and your desire for her to know the freedom that comes through a life in Christ. Give her the gospel in a humble, non-confrontational way, but with a true desire to see her come to know Christ. If she is willing, connect her with a mature, godly woman in your church to talk with her, hold her accountable, and help her mature in faith. Pray diligently for your daughter; seek the Lord’s wisdom and direction for her. Ask God for His intervention in your daughter’s life. “…honor comes from You, and You rule over all, and in Your hand is power and might; and it lies in Your hand to make great and to strengthen everyone.” (1 Chron. 29:12)

  • Carrie @ Revive Our Hearts


    Thank you for your comment. Because this is a blog intended for teens, we have deleted your comment and will respond to you by email.

    Grace and peace,

  • Ryan

    Okay, here’s a question. What if you have no sexual desire, you don’t experience lust? You have no fantasies your mind is blank. The whole action is to relieve stress and turn the mind off? So still yes. I’m thinking so but I’m curious if it’s the same for an asexual girl.

    • Sarah, with Revive Our Hearts

      Ryan, a careful reading of the Challies’ post will answer your question. Look for the lead up to this section: “Where legitimate sexual expression is meant to produce unity, masturbation produces isolation and division. Masturbation is inherently self-centered. An act meant to be shared toward two people is completely and exclusively about one person, all alone. Masturbation deeply undermines a woman’s ability to deny and resist her most self-centered, sinful, isolationist tendencies.”

      Yes, masturbation for an asuxual girl still negates the purpose of legitimate sexual expression.

    • Steven Matthews

      Jesus said some are born this way being eunuchs from birth

  • Leah

    This breaks my heart that people are taught this is a sin. That anything that brings pleasure is a sin. This is why I no longer follow the Bible and instead listen directly to what God is telling me myself. Deism is a thing people and you should definitely consider it if things like this make you mad enough to scream in frustration at the absolute archaic nature of religion in general.

    Listen, God designed us. Simple as that. If he didn’t want us to feel and act on pleasure, He wouldn’t have designed us to feel it. It’s not something to fight. It’s not something to conquer. We are not born dirty. We are born to live our lives to be good people and live a moral life that glorifies God. Not Jesus. God! When you start putting Jesus before God you are breaking your line of communication with the One who should matter most in your life.

    Answer two questions:
    What has God given us?
    What has religion given us?

    After you have the answers question your own beliefs and follow what is in your heart.

    • Steven Matthews

      I’m glad you come to the truth though in part just because certain people take the Bible a specific way does not mean that you have to adhere 2 traditions you must be guarded against legalism while also guarded against lawlessness you need the word of God cuz it is the inspired word of God the Bible people will read into the word differently and some make mistakes along the way well truly we all do try not to think but you have to follow the Sheep but you do need to surely follow the shepherd

  • Hanna

    hi, I have been struggling with this sin for 2 years now. I am still a teenager. I have confessed this sin to the Lord a number of times ad sill done it, but this time the shame is unbearable! I realize how this sin pulls us farther away from god and I feel the effects of my flesh and spirit disagreeing! I want to overcome this sin once and for all and rejoice in overcoming this, but I dont know how God could still actually love me? I dont know how to confront God about this! I dot know how to renew my spirit and tear down the wall I’ve built between me and god. Please pray for me!!

    • We are praying for you, Hanna! God hears your prayers. He loves you more than you can imagine and is waiting expectantly for you to come to Him and confess your sins so that He can fully and freely forgive you and cleanse you. 1 Jn 1:9 says: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” There is no sin that is beyond His forgiveness.

      We want to make you aware of the website http://www.BeggarsDaughter.com. It is solid site for those struggling with sexual sins. You’ll find this article there among others: http://www.covenanteyes.com/2012/06/25/how-do-i-kick-masturbation-addiction/

      We encourage you to pray about finding an older godly woman that you trust and confide in her about your battle. She can be someone to encourage you, pray for you, support you and ask you the hard questions you need to hear on your journey to victory. She can even be someone you call when the temptation seems too hard to fight. There’s something very powerful in bringing our sin out into the light and sharing with others. The power it seems to have over us is greatly diminished when we share so others can bear our burdens (Gal. 6:2). Who will you talk to, Hanna?

      God promises He will always provide a way out of the temptations we face. Most of the time it is a matter of recognizing and choosing that way out. Having someone who can support you through this time is often the “way out” you need. 1 Cor. 10:13 says: “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

      Spend time in God’s Word each day, Hanna, so you are filling your mind with truth and are empowered to fight the enemy’s lies. Just a few minutes in the morning and a few minutes at night will help. Then, look at what you have in your life that is “feeding” the temptation. Make the decision to get rid of it (books, DVD, CD, pictures). Take a look at Paula’s testimony: https://tinyurl.com/ybwv5rq3. Praying for you!!

      • hanna

        thank you so much!!!

  • The Count

    I also struggled with this, but I learned in Rome they use a white glove and write ‘Jesus’ on it, and use it to masturbate with so that you are not isolating yourself, and are thinking about our lord king and savior while pleasuring our tickle zones. I tried this and now feel much better about masturbating when I wear my J-glove.

  • Steven Matthews

    You wrong not that all masterbation is not sin . The heart of the matter is faith pure motive tge realization of the proper use and the like. Yet I believe also this is the word teaches us anything that is not of faith is sin and to him who think it’s a sin to is the word teaches us anything that is not of faith is sin and to him who think it’s a sin to him it is sin

  • Maria

    Read this and educate yourselves please. Their is nothing wrong with mastrubating.