I’ve been answering girls’ questions about life, love, and God for over a decade. That’s a lot of questions. We talk about family and school, friends and beauty, but, not surprisingly, the majority of questions girls ask revolve around—wait for it—boys. No big surprise there! In fact, the number one question girls have asked me over the years is some variation of “How do I know if he likes me?”
Wouldn’t it be great to have a DNA test or maybe a Crushalyzer or something? Just to know for sure? Imagine the possibilities! Sneak a hair from his sweatshirt, or steal a breath as he walks by, and BAM!—instant results. It would be amazing. But since love-struck girls have yet to invent such a miraculous device, I’ll give you the only foolproof way I know of to be 100 percent certain that your crush returns your feelings. Are you ready for this? You’ll know he likes you if . . .
He tells you he likes you.
I hear your muffled sobs. I know it’s painfully anti-climactic, but until the moment you hear (or maybe read) those long-yearned-for words, you’re going to have to get comfortable with ambiguity—with trying to read the signs like a shrimp lost in the Sargasso Sea. I feel your pain. I really do. It stinks to not be omniscient (to know everything), but there you have it.
When a guy takes a genuine liking to a girl, something in his testosterone-pumping body pushes him to do something about it. God wired guys that way. Our culture, and relationally-aggressive girls, have messed with it, belittled it, and all but stomped it out, but deep down a guy wants to pursue a girl like the battle-worn knight of tales gone by. He was made for it (among other things, of course).
The good news is that you don’t have to sit on your bed twiddling your thumbs while you wait for the day when his feelings flip for you, or he musters the courage to tell you he’s loved you from afar all this time. No way! You’ve got a lot of life to live today, and your purpose, dreams, talents, and opportunities to serve others don’t depend on having that cutie-pants pursue you.
So where do you go from here? Here are six places to start:
- Be you.
Not what you think he wants in a girl.
- Be kind.
To him and to everyone else that crosses your path today.
- Don’t push it.
You could tell him how you feel, but if he doesn’t return your feelings, you’ll probably push him away. (If he did feel the same way, he probably would have made sure you knew it.)
- Wait on God.
He’s got your best in mind, and you can trust His plan for your love life!
- Get busy.
Life is too short to waste love-sick thoughts and emotions on someone who may or may not return your feelings. So get out there and live your life!
- Prepare your heart.
Get your mind and emotions in the right place by reading a book like Crushed: Why Guys Don’t Have to Make or Break You or another book that will help you know who you are and what you’re looking for in a guy and relationship.
I’ll be working on that DNA test (which will make me a millionaire, no doubt), but in the meantime, I hope this helps relieve the pressure of guessing today and gives you a bit of hope for tomorrow.