If You’ve Ever Thought God Is Anti-Sex

As our culture increasingly promotes sex without boundaries, God’s view of sex seems more and more radical. Since the culture’s message is progressively pro-sex, many people interpret God’s message about sexuality to be anti-sex. Nothing could be further from the truth.

While it may feel like God’s request to wait is proof that He wants to deny you what is good, nothing could be further from the truth.

When it comes to God’s view of sex, many of us have mistaken God’s serious approach to the subject as negativity. God does take sex very seriously. But the picture He gives us of sexuality is more intense, vibrant, and well . . . sexy . . . than any view taught by the culture. In fact, sticking to God’s plan for sexuality leads to sex that is more fulfilling than the sexual experiences supported by the world.

How do we know that God is pro-sex? Because of the dynamic picture of sex He paints in His Word.

In Proverbs, the writer speaks about a physical encounter that is satisfying and intoxicating (Prov. 5:19). There’s no anti-sex message here!

The Song of Solomon is full of steamy descriptions of love scenes between a man and a woman. The book tells the story of two lovers totally immersed in satisfying each other. The lovemaking poetry is vivid and exciting, and God included it in His holy Word.

In the New Testament, the apostle Paul recommends sex between married couples often (1 Cor. 7:5). The clear message is that God created sex for our enjoyment and His glory.

Look Again

There is not a single verse in the BIble that calls sex “sinful” or “dirty.” The verses that are often quoted to paint sex in a negative light aren’t about sex at all. They are about the misuse of sex outside of God’s design (a.k.a. sin).

God’s message about sex isn’t, “Don’t do it because it is sinful or wrong.” His message is, “Wait—because sex according to My design is so wonderful that it’s worth protecting.” He wants us to enjoy sex, but He asks us to wait until we are married. While it may feel like God’s request to wait is proof that He wants to deny you what is good, nothing could be further from the truth.

Jeremiah 29:11 makes this promise: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Psalm 31:19 says, “Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you.”

Trusting the Giver

If you’re struggling to understand God’s plan for sex, the real question might not be, “Why is God anti-sex?” but rather, “Is God really good?”

I hate to sound like a broken record, but what I said in yesterday’s post about romance bears repeating.

If we choose to believe God when He promises He has good things in store for us, we can freely embrace His plan for sex knowing He desires us to experience sex at its best.

God loves to give us good gifts. He doesn’t withhold good gifts (including sex) to harm or frustrate us. The boundaries He places on sex are for our protection, not our deprivation.

God isn’t against sex. He’s so for it that He wants you to experience it according to His original design.

If we choose to believe God when He promises He has good things in store for us, we can freely embrace His plan for sex knowing He desires us to experience sex at its best.

Let’s Keep Reading

For more on God’s plan for sex, check out these posts from our archives:

God’s Truth on Your Secret Sexual Sin”

Friends with Benefits Scientifically Impossible”

Sexual Purity Means Using Protection”

Let’s Keep Talking

I’d love to hear from you. What message about sex do you find in God’s Word? Do you see God as anti-sex?

PS: Much of this blog was taken from the book The Bare Facts that I wrote with Josh McDowell. I’ll choose one of you to win a free copy from the comments below.

About Author

Erin Davis

Erin is passionate about pointing young women toward God's Truth. She is the author of several books and a frequent speaker and blogger to women of all ages. Erin lives on a small farm in the midwest with her husband and kids. When she's not writing, you can find her herding goats, chickens, and children.

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  • thehappygirl

    Good post! I know many people (especially in the church) are conditioned to believe sex is “bad” or “dirty.” I used to think that way, and one of my friends struggled for a long time after getting married with this thought process… She couldn’t truly be in the moment with her husband because all she could think about was (in her words) “how sinful it felt.” Thankfully, she received good, Godly counselling and now understands God’s design for marriage 🙂 Thanks for the post Erin, great job!

  • Claire

    Thank you for your boldness in addressing this issue! I know I have struggled with corralling this desire, and hearing again the beautiful design of our Creator strengthens my resolve to wait for His timing.

  • Sarah

    Hi Erin, Thank you for once again addressing this issue and putting forth the truth that sex done God’s way in God’s timing is indeed a beautiful thing. Growing up, sex was always came across to me in a bad light, and I grew up thinking it was a bad thing. One of the blessings from receiving the LYWB emails is that my viewpoint was turned around and now I see it as an amazing thing God created, not an ugly thing. I appreciate you sharing your jewels of wisdom that I can in turn pass to other girls I’m discipling 🙂

  • Lauren Purser

    Thank you Erin! This is such a needed post. Many young people are raised in homes where sex is either never discussed or is portrayed as dirty, bad, evil, and scary. Thankfully, I my parents gave a fairly positive and Biblical portrayal of sex and sexuality. However, I did learn more of the beauty and celebration of sex in the Bible on my own by reading Biblical scholars/blogs/books. My generation needs people, young men and women around the world, who will teach younger people about God’s design for healthy, marital sexuality…in this very chaotic and confusing age.

  • Pam

    Thank you for a fresh approach towards this issue, There is oh such a great need of vibrant lives in our culture that mark a difference from the standars the world sets.

  • Terry Lane

    Thank-you!! every day I look forward to reading this email….It is always something I can relate to..

  • Jesusfreak17

    This post really hits the nail on the head for my struggle with lies about this. It’s not that I believe God is anti-sex necessarily or even that God is withholding something good but that sex itself is sinful and wrong and even though in my head I know it isn’t, sometimes I find it really hard to override something like that for my heart.

    • Britt

      I agree. Society paints it out as some kind of dark evil dirty thing . . .and it’s hard to shake that off.

  • Kate

    Thank you so much for posting this! Since my preteens, I knew sex can be a good thing if we wait until marriage to have it, but I honestly think that young people think that God is anit-sex because we see so much sex outside of marriage in our culture. That’s when I think of sex as “dirty”, when a couple abuses God’s gift for us by not waiting.

  • Loved reading this. Our culture is so pre pre-marital sex that it makes holding on to God’s promises harder. I do think that pre-marital s ex is probably one of the main reasons for the high rates of divorce today.

  • Maggie Fipps

    I am so grateful for this post! I agree with you by thinking that God’s plan for sex is way better than any other plan the world can give. He loves us so much that he gave us this wonderful gift to enjoy with our future husband, but so many people choose to waste it. Thank you for this post!

  • Madeline

    This is so true! Thank you for this post! Our culture holds such a twisted view on sex that it can be really hard to see sex for what God intended it to be. I thought of a certain secular song which says the line “the best people in life are free” and how untrue it is and how that line blatantly rejects God’s view that sex is at its best within the confines of marriage.

  • Allie

    Thank you for sharing such beautiful and biblical truth! It is water in the desert of our culture. I’m so thankful for your heart and ministry, Erin!

  • questioning

    This question is odd but is it fulfilling for men more than women? I have a warped view of sexuality thanks to the world…and because I do, it makes me scared that I won’t enjoy it. . .when I get married, and because of that….I fear I won’t be happy as a married female. I always used to feel like a weirdo, because I struggled with lust to an extreme and most girls don’t. I don’t wanna be that insecure person who is scared of that, when its perfectly normal and etc. Anyone?

    • Morgan

      I struggled with lust, and still do a little bit, but not merely as much as I did. So I can understand.
      Now, I’ve never had sex, but apparently it’s supposed to be enjoyable for both involved. Neither of the people involved are to make the other feel demeaned, uncomfortable or anything. Me, though, I’m concerned about sex, because I don’t want it to bring back all that lust. It just seems awkward, too. So I can relate with you.

  • Betty

    but what happens when you cant enjoy what God has given you because he has ED and you aren’t getting satisfied and miss that part of being intimate with each other?

  • Kelly

    As someone who is getting married in 3 months, I LOVE this post. We struggled at times but knew we wanted to wait for what God has in store for us, and we are so thankful for His design for our sexual pleasure! We know that it will be well worth the wait!!!

    • Sarah, with Revive Our Hearts

      How beautiful, Kelly. Oh, yes, it will be WELL WORTH the wait! You have honored God and His grace will be evident and His good pleasure. I have prayed for you tonight, and have thanked the Lord for you and your fiance’ and your commitment to purity! May your union be blessed in every way. “Wherefore also we pray always for you, that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfil all the good pleasure of his goodness, and the work of faith with power” (2 Thes. 1:11)

  • Lily Thomas

    I have a dream, most people say it’s silly. But I continue to dream it, and I also continue to live it out. here it is: I want my wedding to be my first kiss, and want my wedding night to be the first time i have sex

    • Sarah, with Revive Our Hearts

      Oh, Lily…it is a dream, but it CAN be a reality, too! I have prayed for you this night asking God to keep your dream alive in you and give you the strength to make it happen! We are praising the Lord for you!

      • Lily Thomas

        thank you so much Sarah, this absolutely made my day! I sometimes doubt myself on this dream. When ever that happens i’ll think of you and the hope you gave me.

        • Sarah, with Revive Our Hearts


    • Morgan

      That’s not silly at all! That’s the way it should be. It’s so special to save that stuff, even kissing, for your husband only.

      • Lily Thomas

        Thank you, I doubt myself so much. Glad to see someone who agrees.

  • God’s Child

    I am not sure where to ask this question..or if anyone will answer. Repeatedly i have tried to seek help from other online Christian chats..they are all mad at me now.—So..i feel really messed up.. I can’t stop sinning in a particular way. I am a girl but unsure if i am normal or not..

    If i am not married..or ever.anything-.u know? so -why do i have a weakness reading impure reading material..why do I struggle with lust?I feel like a failure as a Christian. What can i do? I deeply want to be loved by God..but feel so unworthy..so confused. Thanks

    • a girl

      I struggle with the same thing! God is gracious. . .I have an idea, and so far its working for me. Anytime you are thinking of sex, replace it with thinking of innocent kissing. As cheesy as it sounds. . .it works so far for me. Or imagine yourself on a date.

      Instead of reading impure material. (something I do as well. . .at times) Try switching over for clean romance. Like delete any song that makes you think of sex, until your mind is innocent. Listen to only clean romance songs. . .

      • God’s Child

        Thanks..at least i am not alone.i thought i was the only Christian girl struggling with this. I do love God..i just found it very appealing at this time in my life. I wish it wasn’t true..but..i will try what u said. Good luck to you too 🙂

    • Loved

      sweet child,
      i don’t understand why anyone would get mad at you. God loves us no matter what. we all sometimes fall to the power of Satan. the most important thing is to pray. every time you think of those things, pray and let God help you. try to also stay away from people who bring those kinds of influences into your life. your not really messed up, you just fall to the sins of this world. as does everyone. you are normal. you are loved, and you have the grace of God. you are loved by God just as much as anyone else. know that I am praying for you, and I understand that life is hard