Impacting the Insecure

I felt like a kitten walking among mountain lions.

As an eighth grader in a public speaking class, I was surrounded by sophomores and juniors. Public speaking was already a challenge for me. Why did I have to be in a class filled with older, more confident students? I felt so intimidated, so unnoticed, so . . . excluded. Was it me against them? It might as well have been me against the world.

To be honest, the entire semester was challenging for me. But one person made it much easier. Her name was Victoria.

I’d known Victoria on-and-off for several years. She was older than me, so we hadn’t been close friends in the past; but that semester was different.

She made a special effort to be around me. Even though she could’ve ignored me, she took the time to talk with me. She smiled at me and laughed with me when I felt intimidated, she sat with me when I felt lonely, and she encouraged me when I felt ignored.

Simply having a friend made the class manageable. She didn’t care about winning any popularity contests. She didn’t ignore me because of my age, my lack of friends, or my shyness. Instead, she put on a heart of compassion. God asks us each to do the same.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience (Col. 3:12).

Victoria showed me what it looks like to live out that verse. As I think of her example, I can’t help but ask myself, am I as compassionate, kind, humble, gentle, and patient toward others as she was toward me? Usually, I’m not.

Reaching Out

If we don’t reach out to the lost and the lonely, who will? True, that often means stepping away from our familiar circles of friends, moving outside of our comfort zones, and reaching beyond surface-level friendships. Yet it is worth the risk.

We all have at least one reason to love others: God loved us first.

I was the lonely girl who needed someone to reach out to me. But now I can be the befriended girl who reaches out to someone in need.

Since you likely know how it feels to be neglected, unnoticed, and intimidated (don’t we all?), it may be difficult for you to reach out to others—simply because you’re waiting for someone to reach out to you.

Good news! Someone has.

In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another (1 John 4:10–11).

Maybe you don’t have many friends or you constantly feel isolated or people seem to ignore your pain.

But we all have at least one reason to love others: God loved us first.

We love because he first loved us (v. 19).

There is probably someone in your life who feels intimidated and alone and who desperately needs a friend. You can be that friend—because Jesus is that friend to us!

Victoria showed Christ’s kindness to me, and I still remember it.

  • Has God placed someone in your life who needs compassion?
  • Have you noticed anyone around you who needs a friend?
  • What impact could your kindness have on someone today?

Tell us about it in a comment below.

About Author

Grace McCready

Grace McCready is a college student and writer who enjoys spending time with her family, chatting with friends, and eating sour gummy worms.

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  • Hosaena Collins

    Wonderful blog Grace!!

    • Thanks so much, Hosaena!

  • Shanae B

    Good reminder! It’s easy as we get older to get caught up in life and not be a good friend, especially to the ones who need a good friend to reach out to them. Thanks for sharing!

    • You’re so welcome, Shanae! And thank you for reading!

      I agree–it is hard. There are lots of people who need a friend, but we can be that friend because Christ loves us so much!

  • Rachel Lee

    This is perfect! Yesterday, a new girl came into my cross country team at school and she seemed really lonely. God wanted me to reach out to her but I kept ignoring His call because I was afraid to step out of my comfort zone. You really hit me when you said that we can be a friend even when no one was to us because Christ loved us first 🙂

    • Wow, Rachel! Thank you for sharing that with me. 🙂 I know exactly what you mean! I’ve also neglected God’s voice when He told me to be friendly, but we CAN be kind because He has been so kind to us.

      • Rachel Lee

        Np!! Thank you for responding and I also subscribed to your blog 😀

        • Thanks so much! I appreciate it, Rachel!

  • Sara Barratt

    Oh my goodness, Grace!!!! You made it on LYWB!!! I’m SO excited for you!!! Way to go!!! <3 <3 This is such a great article too…thank you for writing it! 🙂

    • Awh, thank you for the encouraging words! 🙂

  • Karen Elaine Fulmer

    Whew! This was one good post. 🙂 I have a question though. I know two girls in my youth group (which is kinda my only social activity.) who are the same AGE was me but not the same GRADE as me. They both seem so cool and sufficient, but I’ve talked to both of them and wonder if they need someone. One of the girls seems popular and always having a good time, but shared she feels she can trust me and be serious with me. The other one just seems always super happy to talk to me. What do I do???
    Thanks again! K

    • Thank you, Karen!

      Honestly, since I don’t know the full situation, I can’t give you perfect advice. Based on what you said, I’d advise you to pray about it and ask God for wisdom! 🙂 Also, I’d encourage you that good friends don’t have to be the same grade as you. Good friends can be older/younger. 🙂

      • Karen Elaine Fulmer

        Thanks for the advice. 🙂 Have a great day!

        • No problem at all! Enjoy your day as well.

  • Ny

    Grace, I truly enjoyed reading this article, but I have a really big problem in my life. I’m 15 years old and I haven’t had a single friend since I was 10. I’ve had chronic depression since I was 11 and I suffer from severe distressed anxiety. Making friends is the most difficult task I face every single time I go out to public places. I am very, very lonely and I really need your help and advice. Thanks so much 😊.

    • Myranda

      Ny, I don’t think I have any advice to help you. But I can say that I have been where you are and that God is faithful all the time. You can trust him to lead you through this & out of this and to never leave you. Trust him to train your heart to be good at healthy relationships, sometimes it might look like he doesn’t hear you, but as long as you are walking towards him, he is leading you to a better place. You are prayed for sister ❤️

    • I know loneliness and depression and anxiety can be incredibly hard. I’m sure it’s been a hard journey for you. But you can trust that God is always faithful. He is the most faithful Friend we will ever have, if we have chosen to trust Him as our personal Lord and Savior. Even in difficult circumstances, we must rely on Him because He knows best. Keep following Him, even when you’re discouraged! Maybe you could join a club, a church group, or a sport if you want to meet some new people!

  • sara

    I used to be that girl who took stand for the hurting. I knew I would become unpopular but I did not mind. However, over a period, I stopped being compassionate. I have become hard and may be selfish because of constant hurt and disappointment.

    Grace, I just wanted to thank you for this post. It’s just reminded me again that who am I and what Lord expects of me. Praying I will find the lost zeal of being kind and compassionate.

    • Yes, Sara! Thank you for sharing that with me. I experience the same thing–I don’t usually want to befriend the lonely, but Christians are called to love those who are in need. Keep praying and keep trying to find opportunities to show compassion! 🙂