I Need a Boyfriend

Erin Davis 02/26/09 | Twitter: @ErinGraffiti
Category: Guys ; 369 comments

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Almost 70 percent of the girls we interviewed for “Lies Young Women Believe” told us that they feel better about themselves when they have a boyfriend/attention from a boy. They were honest about the fact that even if they’d made a commitment not to date or had never had a boyfriend, the drive for male attention was a huge issue in their lives.

Can you relate?

This certainly is a commonly believed lie among the young women I know. And it is dangerous indeed. And as Nancy and Dannah point out in “Lies Young Women Believe,” it is a lie that has the potential to grow into something even bigger.

“Anytime we look for fulfillment or happiness in anyone or anything other than God, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. And this one grows into something bigger if you don’t destroy it: ‘ I have to have a husband to make me happy.’ We’ve got to face this head-on, before it becomes something even more dangerous’ (Lies Young Women Believe, 86).

Lets do just that. Let’s hit this lie head on with a serious dose of Truth.

Truth #1 – God did not design marriage to make you happy but to glorify Himself.

Ephesians 5:31-32 says, “ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

When you look to a relationship with a guy to make you happy, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. If you are using dating (and marriage in the future) as a means to validate your worth the consequences will be even more severe.

Truth #2 – God does not want you to “awaken love” until the time is right.

The Song of Solomon repeats the same warning three times. In verses 2:7, 3:5, and 8:4 we are warned not to awaken love before it’s time. I think the fact that this warning is repeated over and over should cause our spirits to perk up and take notice. This is a serious warning and failure to adhere to it has disastrous consequences.

Nancy and Dannah help us understand why the stakes are so high.

“ God has good reasons for instructing us not to awaken love prematurely. Being in relationships with guys early often leads to sexual sin. Research tells us that girls who have boyfriends by seventh grade are among those most likely to be sexually active in their high school years. Further, being in a relationship with a guy six months or longer is one of the top five factors that leads to early sexual activity in teenagers. As your heart becomes entwined in a relationship, you’ll have a hard time sticking to your standards of purity” (Lies Young Women Believe, 88).

Truth #3 You have great value, whether or not the guys around you recognize it.

Jeremiah 31:3 tells us, “The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.’”

No fella can ever offer you a promise so romantic! God has loved you with an everlasting love. He proves that love by seeking to draw you near to him with loving kindness.

Whether or not the guys around you see your value or confirm your worth or beauty, God does. Building your sense of worth on attention from guys is like building your house on a sandy foundation. Instead, why not build it on the rock of God’s everlasting love for you?


HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

    On Happiness and Boys
    on Thursday, February 26, 2009 at 5:25 pm
    I do have a boyfriend now, but before that (and still) I don't think having a boyfriend or significant other automatically qualifies you for happiness. Having a boyfriend will not make you "perfect", nor will it ensure that more people like you etc. It seems like many people change themselves to fit that guy's wants or needs, but really, who can keep pretending forever? Wouldn't you rather be yourself and let someone come to you when the time is right? There isn't anything wrong with trying to get to know more people (however it may be), but it can lead to pretending to be someone who you aren't, and eventually maybe turning into that person.
    If everyone "needed a boyfriend" many of us would be at loss right now. Think about it: do I NEED a boyfriend to be happy? I don't think thriving on that is a good idea. Don't give in to peer pressure! Better to find the RIGHT guy rather than going for anyone just for the purpose of getting a couples status. You could hurt him and yourself.
    on Thursday, February 26, 2009 at 6:44 pm
    wow, i have been very lonly lately as all my friends "pair up" and start dating. it is very hard to be the only one with out a boyfriend and at times i wish i had one. a verse i found that is heplful as i wait for the right time to "fall in love" is isaiah 40:31. "but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their streinth, they shall mount up on wings as eagles, they will run and not grow weary; and they shall walk and not grow faint." i've decided no matter how lonly i am i'm gonna wait for God to bring the right guy along for me.
    I agree!
    on Thursday, February 26, 2009 at 7:18 pm
    It can be so hard in today's world to try and resist the temptation of having a boyfriend. Girls these days have boyfriends at the age of 11 and 12 and I honestly, think it is ridiculous! Why can't kids just be kids like they used to be! I'm glad I read this, as I am, like many others, struggling with the thought of having a boyfriend and maintaining one. I think my biggest weakness is the first issue that you listed. Ugh, I wish I would stop looking for someone to make me happy and just focus on the Lord more. I know that no one else can satisfy me except him, but it can be so hard sometimes. Especially when you can get instant attention from someone and with the Lord it's not exactly the same. I feel disappointed in myself for not looking upon the Lord in that area. Oh well, I'm trying to. I just hope he can really work in me to help me in that area. Really good blog post though, I'm sure it'll be a real eye opener for some!!
    on Thursday, February 26, 2009 at 9:35 pm
    I have never had a boyfriend, but there was a time when I was boy crazy. But then God grabbed my heart and I have never what a boyfriend since. Don't get me wrong, I still like boys and like their attention. But my whole idea has changed, God is my true love, my all-in-all. Psalms 37:4 says God will give you the desires of your heart, in his time. He has a beautiful and perfect plan for you and me, he knows exactly what is in store for everyone.
    I can't wait to to see who God brings along in my life, but until that happens I'm just going to live for Jesus' glory. God bless and good luck in staying pure! :) Be happy, watch and wait for the perfect one!
    Boys and "Happiness"
    on Friday, February 27, 2009 at 7:09 am
    When I see a lot of my friends pairing off, I starting wishing I had my someone special. But when I think about it, I don't need to have a boyfriend to make me complete. God wants me to be complete by myself before he brings that someon into my life. Even though it's hard to think in those terms, that's what God wants me to be right now, be complete in Him alone, no boyfriend can ever make me complete. Even though it some times feels like you're the only one waiting for Mr. Right, you just have to remember what God wants for you is best. What's great about this blog is it shows me that I'm not the only one! I have people who are following the same path as I am, right along with Jesus!!
    on Friday, February 27, 2009 at 7:49 am
    WOW i really needed this!!! Thank you nancy:)
    That is exactly like me!
    on Friday, February 27, 2009 at 9:16 am
    That girl in the video said exactly what I say to myself all the time! Why don't guys like me? But I know that I don't need a guy to make me feel beautiful, I already am in God's eyes! And that's all I really need! this was such an encouagement! Thank you!
    on Friday, February 27, 2009 at 9:40 am
    I agree. It's so hard for me to wait for love. I have trouble with the first and third truth. I think that I'm not wanted if I don't have a boyfriend. But this blog was really good. =D
    on Friday, February 27, 2009 at 10:18 am
    We all want to think and "feel" pretty and attractive, and getting attention from guys feeds these feelings. This is only natural for us girls. The trouble comes when we think that any guy is going to bring us happiness, or that we would be better off in a relationship.

    True, lasting happiness can only come from one man, Jesus Christ. Women were designed for relationships, but our focus concerning happiness must be on the Lord.

    When we do get into a relationship, we must make sure that this guys focus in life is to please the Lord. This way everything else will fall into place; respect, honor and love!
    on Friday, February 27, 2009 at 12:17 pm
    i have always wanted a boyfriend and i honestly believe i have never had one becuase i am overweight. and i understand becuase why would a cute guy want a fat girl?? idk if i will ever find a guy now because even if i lose weight how do i kno he doesnt like me for my body alone? i think all guys are big headed and shallow. it would be nice to have the attention but is it worth the depression that comes later when you realize they never REALLY liked you?
    Boys ;)
    on Friday, February 27, 2009 at 12:49 pm
    Thank you so much for this post! sometimes the lie that we need a boyfriend is over powering. It is awesome that there are other who don't have boyfriends.
    song for when boys are letting you down
    on Friday, February 27, 2009 at 1:42 pm
    You hate men, is what you say
    And I understand how you feel that way
    All girls dream of a fairy tale
    But what you got's like a used car sales
    Man trying to conceal what's wrong
    Behind a smile and a song
    And I'm not saying that boys are not like that
    But I think you should know
    That some of us will grow
    All princes start as frogs, all gentleman as dogs
    Just wait till it's plain to see
    What we're growing up to be
    Cause some frogs will still be frogs
    Some dogs will still be dogs
    But some boys can become men
    Just don't kiss us till then
    margaret :)
    on Friday, February 27, 2009 at 4:59 pm
    thanx so much for covering this lie that i need a boyfriend! sometimes i do want 1, but then i remember i have a wonderful family, gr8 friends, and an AWESOME GOD!!!!! smiles :)
    Re: Blonde.Chick
    on Friday, February 27, 2009 at 5:26 pm
    Trust me! Not all guys are "big headed and shallow"! Yes, there are quite a few guys that can be like that... but there really are guys who can be loving and caring no matter what you look like. And don't say those things about yourself! God made you special JUST the way you are, and you shouldn't change for anyone! If you just trust in the Lord and let him be your confidence and strength, you will be more satisfied than any guy could ever possibly make you! In all honesty, boyfriends can be quite distracting, and they can take away from your relationship with the Lord EVEN IF they don't mean to. If you're not strong enough and have a true and close relationship with the Lord, it is easy to let something take your mind off of him and be distracted - especially boys! God made you and knows all your needs and he can satisfy them, but only if you let him do it.
    on Friday, February 27, 2009 at 9:53 pm
    i dont have a boyfriend. i've never actually had a real boyfriend either. sometimes its really hard for me and other times its not. all my friends have boyfriends or some guy they're obcessed with....except me. and usually it doesnt affect me unless i'm with them all. and what makes it harder is my friends are always like "we're gonna find you a boyfriend" even if i dont say anything. and then they say "you could have any guy you want" and sometimes it takes all thats in me to say if that was true then would have a boyfriend! I'm trying to rely on God to be "my everything" but its hard. i go to a Christian school and i'm around amazing people to encourage me but sometimes i feel like its some of my friends who drag me down. its soo hard for me to wait for prince charming but i'm glad that theres a blog like this with girls like me who cant wait for prince charming to sweep them off their feet and God is their everything. Thanks so much for this post its so encouraging :)
    on Friday, February 27, 2009 at 10:45 pm
    I just wanted to say thank you to Jenny!!! My friend is going through some REALLY tough times right now...shes even doubting God. I know that scripture (Psalm 37:4) will help her greatly!! Thank you sooooo much!!!!!
    Re: Guys
    on Friday, February 27, 2009 at 10:53 pm
    Most of my friends say this, or that they want attention. I know I don't need one, but you have open my eyes even more. I tell my friends and more, that they don't need a boyfriend, and the right guy will come. But you just make it easier. Thank you so much. I now don't have crushes I used to, and I look to one who would seem right. Thank you again, so much. :) :) :)
    re: hannah!
    on Friday, February 27, 2009 at 11:42 pm
    glad to know i'm not the only one who is frusterated with the young teens dating and the fact i'm like the only one without a "pair" glad to know others are wating for mr. right to! thanks!
    Sasha-Leigh Fagan
    on Saturday, February 28, 2009 at 11:19 am
    God Defines Me!!!
    God should be Your Life, not an Aspect of your life!!!!!!!!!!!!
    To blonde.chick
    on Saturday, February 28, 2009 at 12:04 pm
    Hey! I just wanted to tell you that it doesn't matter what your body looks like. You are beautiful just the way God made you, and if a guy doesn't like you just because of looks, he is not the guy for you! And I'm sure that he is missing out on a great girl! So don't let that get you down! One day if your patient, God will bring you an amazing guy, who will love you for who you are on the inside and outside! So don't give up! Just give it all to God! Love ya!
    Robin #2
    on Saturday, February 28, 2009 at 12:54 pm
    Oh, girls! Wait, Wait, WAIT!!! I was waiting, in fact I waited 18 1/2 years. Then I kind of thought that God had forgotten about me and started dating a friend of mine that I had started taking interest in and vice versa. Two and a half months later my heart was in a million tiny pieces at my feet. It has been almost six months and I still have rough days, though not as often as I used to. God has been doing amazing things inside of me during these past months because He works all things together for good, but it would have been much easier if I had just trusted Him from the beginning. So I encourage you to hold on to Jesus as your One True Love because He will never break your heart and let Him do all the leading in your life!!
    on Saturday, February 28, 2009 at 1:56 pm
    I have the same questions as you. I think guys don't like me because I'm not pretty enough or smart enough. But I also think boys will make me happy, but I don't want to go through and when we do break up then I'll be worse off then before. So as of right now, I don't think I'll have a boyfriend in a long time.
    on Saturday, February 28, 2009 at 5:06 pm
    yeah... having a boyfriend at our age...(13)... is EXTREMELY overrated!! :) I CAN'T stand it!!! :) :) :)
    im not really sure...
    on Saturday, February 28, 2009 at 10:33 pm
    I agree with Rachel, children of younger ages are "dating" nowadays, but they're doing it because they see what their parents are like, and if they have older siblings in a relationship, what their siblings are like.
    But, no. I do not believe, at all, that you need a boyfriend. All of you young girls, including myself, do not need a guy to boost your self-esteem.
    I cannot say that dating is bad, I have been in a relationship for almost 5 months now. But my boyfriend, Isaiah, and I were good friends before we started dating, and we knew we liked each other, so we got together. I guess my 10 year old sister thought it was cool, because two months after Isaiah and I got together, my sister got a "boyfriend." Granted, she has never had any physical contact with him, no hugs or anything, and I have little physical contact with my boyfriend; we hold hands, hug, and a small kiss every once in a while... but I don't see why a ten year old needs or would even want a boyfriend.
    on Saturday, February 28, 2009 at 11:54 pm
    i'm not allowed to have a boyfriend until after high school, but because of that rule i've found myself really wanting a boyfriend. I'm a junior so i only have a year left and yet it seems like i really need one. Honestly i don't see the problem with having a boyfriend, if i was allowed to i don't think i would be as desperate. Because even though i'm not allowed to date i've still kissed boys and so i don't see why i can't just out right have one! I know that a lot of girls loss there virginity with there boyfriends but i've made a commitment to myself not to loss my virginity, i just think that i/we girls need to learn how to handle ourselves around guys...o well those are just my thoughts....
    re: Rachel
    on Monday, March 2, 2009 at 9:39 am
    thanks for sayin that...but i didnt say what to get that kind of reply...i am 15 years old and have never had a boyfriend. ALL of my friends have had one before(and that is not an exageration at all i am dead serious). it feels not normal. so it seems to me if i was pretty or smaller i would have had one too..that is just common sense. i am not trying to complain i am just stating what i have seen happen. you do make a good point and ALL guys arent big headed and shallow because i have several close guy frinds and they are all wonderful. so anyway thanks for your encoragement :)
    on Monday, March 2, 2009 at 10:02 am
    Wow. You are probably right about why your sister got a "boyfriend". I remember that when I was in the 4th grade (ages 9-10) kids had "boyfriends" and "girlfriends". Maybe that's why now age 13 doesn't seem so young after all...(compared to the 9 year olds)
    Re: Debbie
    on Monday, March 2, 2009 at 10:43 am
    I am not allowed to have a boyfreind either and can certainly understand how you feel. try to pray about your situation. If your parents don't want you to have a boyfriend then you should respecet them and honor their descicion. It sounds like you are honoring them which is good!!! Matthew 5:27-30 says "You have heard that it is said 'do not commit adultary' but i tell you that anyone who looks at a woman (or man) lustfully has already commited adultary with her (him) in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and through it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin cut it off and throw it away. it is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell."
    I know this seems a bit harsh but if you are being temted to do something you know your parents don't want you to do than just cut that part off from your body. Accept it and try to persue something else. People (Myself) can waste alot of their lives chaseing after things that they know is bad for them or that they know they cannot get. I just encourage you to pray and as I said try to cut that desire off from you right now. persue something else and then when you do awaken love (in Gods timeing) That love will be pure and beautiful!!! I hope this helps! Good luck! (I hope this wasn't to harsh!). Your sister in christ, Sarah
    4 anyone who needs some help
    on Monday, March 2, 2009 at 1:42 pm
    I just want to tell y'all about a website that my friend & I have just started. It's www.freewebs.com/renew-your-mind. It's for anyone who is struggling with anything from eating disorders to sex to drugs to depression to being abused. What we're trying to do is help teens overcome through the power of God. I've been through quite a few things in life that God has delivered me from & I wish I had had a site to go to where people could help me. Because I know it would have helped the process so much! You can read my bio on the site if you want to know more. ttyl!!
    on Monday, March 2, 2009 at 2:43 pm
    I do beleive that many girls feel they need a boyfriend to feel good about themselves, weather or not we like to admit it. I too am guility of this. Not so much to feel good about myself but because i enjoy having a boyfriend and am generaly happier having one than not having one. This can be dangerous because we could attrack the wrong type of man and stay with him simply to have a boyfriend. I was in an abusive relationship for over four years and refused to end it because i thought i would marry him, he would change, and mostly because i was scarred to not have anyone. luckily i got out of it and quickly picked up another boyfriend. but he turned out to be my absoulte prince charming. We are still together two years later but not because i fear not having any one, but because i dont want anyone but him. he is truely the best thing to have happened to me and he has helped me make myself a better person. So while it can be a dangerous thing, it can also lead you to true love. having had this experience my opinion on this is a little divided. I think if having a boyfriend makes you happier, than its not nessisarily a bad thing to always be seeking a boyfriend. but you have to know in your heart that you are strong enough to be alone if that boyfriend is not treating you rite and that you will immidietly get out of a bad relationship. I can never get those four years back, but once i was out i knew it would never happen again.
    on Monday, March 2, 2009 at 8:43 pm
    I have always felt left out because even my closest friends have boyfriends and i feel like no guy is even looking at me ( besides the creepy ones). and its hard being left out and out and alone. But i like it better the way i am, single. I know that someday my prince will come. Plus we have our own song! SINGLE LADIES!! :D :D
    on Tuesday, March 3, 2009 at 9:20 pm
    i just got out of serious relationship with my boyfriend and even though i left him. i still loved him but i got hurt a week later he got with my best friend and transferred to my school. i felt sick about it for weeks and still do. but i guess weather there is a drooling immature bot at my side or not i am still a princess and my price will come, my pat knight in shinning armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil
    on Wednesday, March 4, 2009 at 1:04 pm
    I dont agree you dont need a boyfriend and i love being singal i have my studies to think about and so do you
    OVERRATED!! :)
    on Wednesday, March 4, 2009 at 4:55 pm
    yeah... I have had a boyfriend... even though I am still in middle school... but I have made a commitment not to have another one until I'm 16! And now ever since I made that standard, I have started to really really like this guy! He's been like my older brother for like a couple of months... but then we just kinda started to like eachother! He's asked me out but I turned him down... but what surprised me is... is that he is waiting on me! I'm 13 so he said that he would wait for me for 3 years!!! :) But... whether or not he was going to wait on me... sometimes I just wanna hurt myself for not going out with him... even though I know how overrated boyfriends are at my age... but is that weird? I mean like is it weird to make a standard for yourself not to date and not just make it because your parents made it 4 u???
    happy without a guy(most of the time)
    on Wednesday, March 4, 2009 at 11:16 pm
    Don't worry I'm 20 1/2 and have no boyfriend or ever had one. No guy has ever liked me (seriously) as far as I know. I mean liked ME (not my looks) and I sometimes get sick of getting attention only for my looks, because it makes me sick and I think why can't someone just love ME. Sometimes I wish I was plain so I could get a really good guy that appreciates my personality.My sister has guys seriously interested in her all the time, so I think maybe I should try to be more charming (I tend to be rather blunt and boring) but I've decided I'm not gonna try to change my personality(unless it's wrong) and I'll be happy to wait for a good guy. Though it does get VERY lonely sometimes. Glad to hear there's other girls like me. Cheers!
    i think...
    on Friday, March 6, 2009 at 9:39 pm
    i think its easier to have a boyfriend who tells you nice things and gives you flowers not that i would know!lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    on Saturday, March 7, 2009 at 4:04 pm
    does saitan cause bad addiction like being on the computer as a distraction?
    and how do i stop it?
    Trusting In The Lord!
    on Tuesday, March 10, 2009 at 7:14 pm
    I made a promise to God a few years ago that I was going to hold my heart for one man only. I'm even saving my first kiss for him on our wedding day! What I learnd is that it's better to give these things to God and let him chose my man than me choosing him by my own selfish instincts! Besides, I need to fall in love with God first before I fall in love with a man on this earth.
    Lizzy Girl!
    Tea cup
    on Saturday, March 14, 2009 at 4:21 pm
    tea cup, your such an encouragement to me! all the time i feel like i just gotta have a guy ya know lol im just never patient which i think God is trying to teach me patience =)
    Lizzy Girl
    hey anonymous
    on Saturday, March 14, 2009 at 5:07 pm
    ya its nice having guys give you flowers or say nice things But girly! most of the time when they are doing that they are playing with your HEART! dont let them do that. then you'll start beleiveing all that stuff they have been telling you and it would make you want to be unpure with the guy. and God wants us to stay pure for him. Because your His Daughter.
    that's really cool ariel...
    on Saturday, March 14, 2009 at 6:29 pm
    hey ariel... that pretty awesome what your doing!! :) I love what you said... "I need to fall in love with God before I fall in love with a man in this earth!" I have been going through something lately that that just really helped to hear you say that! :) God bless... ;)
    Lizzy Girl!
    guys and College
    on Saturday, March 14, 2009 at 8:14 pm
    im 13 and all my friends are a couple years older than me and its hard when they start talking about their boyfriends and college its kinda depressing cuz they make you feel so much younger than them.
    on Monday, March 16, 2009 at 6:36 pm
    Hey! I'm 13 too... and all of my friends are also older than me! But, God put those friends in your life for a reason! Maybe he put them theere for them to be an influence on you (whether good or bad) and if the influence is bad then maybe you can help be a witness to them!!
    Do you honestly know??
    on Tuesday, March 17, 2009 at 5:32 pm
    You don't need a guy to make you happy. Your true love should be God, but in some cases it doesn't feel like it. Hes always there for you no matter what! I need to fall in love with God before I fall in love with a man. You also never know if the guy just want you or if hes the one...
    on Friday, March 20, 2009 at 11:26 pm
    yeah, I don't feel the need for a boyfriend (I'm homeschooled, so there's not a ton of pressure, thank God!) but I do very much rely on the opinions of others, especially guys. I find myself basing my worth on other people's affirmation. How in the world can I quit doing this? Help!? It's ruining my life!
    Erin Davis
    on Sunday, March 22, 2009 at 3:57 pm
    I certainly think that Satan can use addictions and distractions to try to keep us from serving God with our full potential. But you are responsible for how you respond. Satan is not able to make you do anything.

    Are you addicted to the computer? Are you addicted to certain activities on the computer or just spending too much time there?

    Erin Davis
    Erin Davis
    on Sunday, March 22, 2009 at 4:00 pm
    I don't think it is weird that you made a commitment not to date. I think it's awesome! Many, many of the girls who write on this site have made the same commitment.

    It can only do you good to wait for God's timing for romance. Did you know that three times in Song of Solomon it says not to awaken love before it's time. Three times! That is serious business.

    I think it is so wise to wait until you are closer to a marriage to allow your heart to become involved in romance.

    The great news is that if this guy is the one God has for you, you can't mess it up. He will bring you together in His timing to accomplish His purposes. You just need to wait on the Lord.

    Erin Davis
    re: lizzy girl
    on Friday, March 27, 2009 at 4:49 pm
    thanks sis glad i can encourage you! it is cool to have you on. we'll just wait together huh sis?
    in chist,
    you sister
    re: lizzy girl
    on Friday, March 27, 2009 at 4:49 pm
    thanks sis glad i can encourage you! it is cool to have you on. we'll just wait together huh sis?
    in chist,
    you sister
    i felt........
    on Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 9:53 pm
    i felt for a long time now that i would be happy with myself if i had a boyfriend. all of my friends have a boyfriend, it just doesn't seem fair. i often wonder if i'm not acceptionally flattering, in fact i know that i'm not. i guess that boys just don't see anything special in me. like i'm just part of the wallpaper.
    on Monday, March 30, 2009 at 7:11 pm
    I have this boy at my church that is like 100% in love with me! But here's the thing....I don't like him! I mean he's nice, but I just don't have any feelings for him. He is really forward and he touches me a lot (NOT inappropiately) like he pokes me in the side and he's always pulling hairs off my shoulders and little stuff like that. I know it may not seem like a big deal, but it makes me extremely uncomfortable and I wish he would stop, I've asked him to stop when he does it, but he just doesn't listen!
    Also, sometimes when I hug my friends he says "Why didn't I get a hug" or "Where's mine?". I know he's a Christian and I highly doubt that he would ever do anything to take my purity, but I just feel uncomfortable and I don't want him to think that it's okay for him to do any of this! Please help me!
    P.S. I have already talked to my mom about it, but she just kinda laughs and says, "Just be nice!". I totally agree, but I still feel extremely uncomfortable!! PLEASE HELP!
    Re: Godsgirl/HELP!! --- Re: Chloe
    on Wednesday, April 1, 2009 at 11:17 am
    To Godsgirl:
    It doesn't seem like he is respecting your wishes. Maybe you should tell him again that you would rather him not to that, as it makes you feel awkward/uncomfortable. Don't make it a huge deal, just tell him privately and say it kindly. If he really cares about you and your space, then he will respect your decision. If he persists, then maybe you should tell someone at church.

    To Chloe:
    NEVER SAY THAT ABOUT YOURSELF! God made you, and he does not make mistakes. He made you beautiful and wonderful just the way you are! Don't worry about having a relationship, I'm guessing you're probably between 12-16, don't worry about having a boyfriend. Not now at least. Save your heart for the man you will marry someday! I just got out of a relationship, and even though I learned a lot from it and gained a lot of Spiritual knowledge and wisdom, I am glad that it's over. I'm only 15, and right now, the only relationship I am focusing on is the one I have with the Lord. The Lord will bring you a guy someday (he may not bring you a guy, but either way, you still have the Lord, and he is more than enough!) that will be everything you're looking for, and he will love you just the way you are! Until then, you can bury yourself in God's love for you! :) Maybe those other girls or even your friends are pretty, but are their hearts? Remember, the Lord looks at an individual's heart, not their face or body. Hang in there girl! :) It'll be worth it, I promise!

    There's a quote I know that says: "A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her."

    I just thought I'd share that. :)
    Re: Ariel
    on Wednesday, April 1, 2009 at 11:20 am
    I was really moved and encouraged when I read your post Ariel! I'm with you on that though! I plan on saving my first kiss for my wedding day. It'll be so special! I really enjoyed your last sentence too about falling in love with the Lord first. So true!
    on Thursday, April 2, 2009 at 9:52 pm
    A quote that I heard that really just put things in a lot of perspective for me was "dating is training for divorce." With dating, you can "love" one guy one day, then you break up, you're devastated, then you move on to another guy. Why don't we all just wait? I made a decision to wait for God to find the perfect man for me. Also, what girl doesn't want a perfect "ten?" But what kind of "ten" would want a girl who needs a boyfriend? Not the kind of "ten" I want. To all you ladies out there who are looking for a boyfriend:

    Dance with Jesus. He'll let the perfect man cut in at the perfect time.
    on Friday, April 3, 2009 at 4:35 pm
    Well, recently i took a familly vacation. specifically a familly reunion, and we went skiing one day and me and my cousin were screaming at everyone from the ski lift (cause were dorks) and we would just randomelly scream at people as we were going up we would say " YA LITTLE DUDE GOOD JOB" cause they would be making jumps and stuff and there was this one really cute guy that caught my attention and just like every other person we screamed " GOOD JOB LITTLE DUDE" and he DEFINATLLY heard it and started talking to me and my cousin and when we would go on the ski lift he would make it so we would be 1 seat ahead of him. Well me and that guy started to talk and i dont even know his name! and i would like start to kinda avoid him but i wanted him to keep following us. So eventually it got time to closing and it was the last trip on the ski lift and when we were waiting in line this guy goes "whats up" and as the stupid retard i am i just ignore him! and then he just says a whole bunch of things,yet still i ignore him! and so finally it was almost our turn to get on and the guy screams " WAIT! I LIKE YOU! DONT GO!" and he meant it..... and i just look at him and say "i have a boy friend" and i was sooooo mad at myself! i guess i was playing hard to get. but it made me so sad because one of the reasons i want to have a boy friend is because alot of guys like me... and i always tell them either yes or no and this time when i said no he looked so sad and not to mention i liked this guy,and he liked me! even though i didnt know his name,i also think "how can i like this guy if i dont even know his name and i dont even know what his persanallity is like or anything" yet.. i still liked him! so i need help! i am so sad not only for me but for this guy. you guys should have seen the look on his face!!!!! it was so defistating! so please HELP!!!
    Staying Pure
    on Wednesday, April 8, 2009 at 2:45 pm
    I agree with Jackie!! Why don't we all just wait!! God knows our whole life plan shouldent we just wait on him?? If God has already hand picked our future mate, he must be the perfect guy! So dosent he deserve to be the first guy you even kiss? So I have desided to make a stand, I WILL STAY PURE!!
    NO to guys, . . . YES to Puity
    on Thursday, April 9, 2009 at 10:54 pm
    When I was between 13 and 14 I wanted a guy so bad, but now that i am 19 1/2 I really don't need it so bad. I still struggle mind you asp in the summer, but I can not wait to be in a courtship where I can see God's hand in it every step of the way. :) I want the guy that I marry to know that I am completely his and not have him wonder . . am I going to stay. I feel that if I have a discontented mindset right now about guys, what makes me think that that will change when I get married. I agree with silvermist on "Staying Pure" Your 1st kiss should just be for your husband!!!
    on Friday, April 10, 2009 at 2:45 pm
    That is so cool my name is Katie to! But I am only 14.
    i dont know what to do
    on Monday, April 13, 2009 at 7:45 pm
    i like this guy but he is about 3 years older than me! he is my brothers friend and his birthday is this weekend. shes Christian and sweet lovely and really nice. he has 2 younger brothers. one of them is my age and the other one is really young. i try to get his attention (in a good way) and he notices me but he notices me as my brothers little sister. do you think i should give up on him because i liked him for about 2 years nonstop!?!?!?!?!?!
    on Tuesday, April 14, 2009 at 3:51 pm
    well... my friend was in that situation and i helped her get out of it. my advise i would stop liking him. but i dont know whatever u think is right,or whatever u think God would want.
    Dey not worth it
    on Thursday, April 16, 2009 at 8:52 pm
    Boys are not worth the hurt and any of your purity. I know how some girls go through the peer pressure and face the lie with boys. I have been through it all and I am now currently still going through. Each and every day, I am pressured with boys and the lie that I need a boyfriend in order to be popular or to be able to gain friends. I have and still am reading Lies That Young Women believe and it is pretty much changing my life. It talks about everything that I am having major problems in life. I used to be completley boy crazy but then I started to read this wonderful book and I am glad to be single and I am planning to stay that way until I meet the man that god has prepared for me.
    to katie and silvermist
    on Friday, April 17, 2009 at 10:29 pm
    I'm right there with yall!! I'm not dating til I'm 16 at least... maybe college!! And I'm not having my first kiss til my wedding day... cause I absolutely agree with yall... that everything that you give away now to a guy now you cant give to your husband for the first time.. and if he is the guy that God has set aside for you.. then he should deserve our very best!! :)
    to someone
    on Sunday, April 19, 2009 at 1:29 pm
    well....... hmmm..... that's a tough one. i would say that u should just give up on him. if u ask me, boys at the age of 12-18 are MOSTLY just obnoxious and want "stuff" from you. my dad has always told me that if you feel like you need to go on a date with someone, go on a date with ur daddy! for one thing most dads work so you don't get to see them much, plus, you get to get more expensive stuff off your dad than some 15 year old guy! i personally don't feel the need to have a boyfriend at this point because most boys aren't mature enough for me to spend my time on. guys are inconsiderate at this age and like to take advantage of you, without you even noticing. just concentrate the time you want to spend on ur crush with ur dad or God. Just remember, your dad and your God will always be there for you.... most guys won't.
    Best of wishes,
    on Monday, April 20, 2009 at 6:15 pm
    The pull for having a boyfriend has gotten stronger and stronger as I get older. It's probably a good thing I do homeschool.Other wise, I would have already given in,I'm sure.
    I've only been in youth group for a few months, and eventhough it's church,I've seen ALOT of flirting.That makes me want to flirt and have a boyfriend, but I'm only 12, and that's too young.
    Sometimes, I feel like I'm not important or ugly because I don't have a guy'y attention.Now, I know this isn't true,I know what God thinks is way more important. but still.
    Any advice on how to fight this?
    on Tuesday, April 21, 2009 at 11:14 am
    Lately i´ve been obssed w/ the idea that i need a boyfiren d. okay so this may sound a little strange but i invented an imaginary bf just so that i can be happy. the thing is that i may actually hav feelinga 4 another guy and now i dont know what 2 do becuz i hav my "BF". soooo what do i do i just can leave my "guy" and tell the other guy i hav feelings 4 him .thers not enough "break time" 2 be able to do that!! Helpppppp :(
    Erin Davis
    on Tuesday, April 21, 2009 at 12:24 pm
    Just to clarify...

    Are you asking how to break up with your imaginary boyfriend so that you can date a real guy?

    I am not making fun of you but that sounds pretty far out. If you are feeling the need to have a boyfriend so strongly that you have invented an imaginary person to fill that role, I don't think you are ready to be in a relationship. Having a boyfriend isn't going to make you happy, at least not long-term. I think you should only consider taking this step when you are ready for marriage and when you are looking at it as a way to fulfill God's purposes for your life, not to make you happy.

    on Tuesday, April 21, 2009 at 1:04 pm
    i am totally and completely independent of guys....... and i love it!!!!!! i love being able to have more time to spend with my daddy..... and it's just nice for me. There's this one girl that rides my bus and she is totally crushing on this guy who's really just obnoxious and stupid..... every time she gets on the bus, her first words are... "oh that guy is soooooo cute".. or "i hate that guy" and one time she got on the bus and sat in a seat all by herself and started crying over this stupid boy..... WHY CAUSE YOURSELF THE PAIN?!?!?! i mean really.... i know that it seems cool these days to have a boyfriend and all that but still.... why spend your time and energy on a stupid boy who doesn't care about you.... he just wants to be cool.... i personally don't want to be with a guy right now.... no matter how cute or funny he is.... i'm just too much for any of the 8 or 9 boys who like me to handle. i hope my writing helps you make decisions about your life...
    Best Wishes
    to prgirl
    on Tuesday, April 21, 2009 at 1:10 pm
    ok.... let's start over here. so you have an imaginary boyfriend... but you like a real guy.... hmmm... tuffy...... If you ask me, you should make your imaginary boyfriend have the exact same traits that you'll want your future husband to have... and then lock him up in your heart until you find that exact guy that has those exact traits..... in the meantime..... you can go on dates with your dad..... or even have a double date with your bff and her dad..... there are so many things that can keep your mind off this guy that you like and you can still keep your imaginery guy locked up in your heart...
    Best Wishes
    to godsgirl
    on Tuesday, April 21, 2009 at 1:31 pm
    ok... this is a more serious situation than you're giving it credit for... this guy is getting in your personal space and not respecting you AT ALL!!!!!! this is what you have to do..... the next time he pokes you.... turn around.. look him in the eye... be serious and say... "DON'T DO THAT AGAIN.... I'VE TOLD YOU BEFORE BUT YOU DIDN'T LISTEN AND IF YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME THIS TIME I WILL GO TO YOUR DAD... AND THEN I WILL GO TO THE PASTOR.." He has absolutely... in no way shape or form ANY right to touch you.... it's your body and you have an absolute right to say "no"
    P.S. i know im making this sound a little too serious but it is..... there's this guy that rides my bus and he feels that it is in his permission to tickle me with out asking me.... i've slapped his hand off once and he backed off for a while but he still won't listen to me... the next time he does it i have it all planned out what im going to do....he'll be sorry when he gets detentions for misconduct....

    Best Wishes To You
    Last Edit: on Tuesday, April 21, 2009 at 3:18pm by edavis  
    on Tuesday, April 21, 2009 at 2:27 pm
    noooo erin wat im saying is that i really dont know how to approach the subject i guess that i really fell into peer presure becuzz of the boyfriend-girlfriend here over skul and my friendzz and now im paying 4 the price.
    i mean i really feel wrong bout it an im trying to make things better w God also bcuz lately ive been in and out of church and God-things!!!
    Erin Davis
    on Tuesday, April 21, 2009 at 3:21 pm
    I know it can be tough to face that kind of pressure. But it sounds like God is tugging at your heart and asking you not to get caught up in boyfriend/girlfriend drama right now. Do you think you could just make a commitment not to date for a while until you felt like God gave you the green light to be in that kind of relationship?

    what i nead
    on Wednesday, April 22, 2009 at 6:14 pm
    What i want is a guy who wants me and only me that will love me and i can love him in return and that thinks I am pretty

    and i cant be happy without it.
    Erin Davis
    on Thursday, April 23, 2009 at 9:29 am
    Sweet girl,

    You have been deceived! You don't need a guy. I know it feels like it. But no man on earth has the power to make you happy long term. They are human. They will screw up. They will fail you. But there is one who is capable of filling that hole in your heart.

    Psalm 118:9 says, "It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in princes."

    You are looking for a prince to sweep into your life and make everything better. It won't happen. It is far better to put your trust in the Lord!

    Have you read "Lies Young Women Believe?" Nancy and Dannah do a great job dealing with this topic.

    erin and abby
    on Thursday, April 23, 2009 at 10:43 am
    Erin, yeah i believe that i can do that. ive been thinking bout it lately and praying alot bout it. Anyways i was reading the book and the chapter bout guys and i realized that i really dont need 2 have everything that evry1 has because im giving into peer pressure.

    Abby thanks thats a great advice i think that i can actualy do that thats something different & plus that way i can have a picture and an idea of what i want for the future in my husband. Hopefully God will grant me with wat i want !!!

    Thanks u guys youve really opened some options in my heart and mind. :)
    There is hope!
    on Thursday, April 23, 2009 at 1:07 pm
    Hi ladies,
    I am 18 years old, in Grade 12 and have been homeschooled by my wonderful Christian parents for the past 10 years! It has been great.

    Just this year, the young ladies in our high school group are doing the Lies Young Woman Believe Bible study and I am really learning lots.

    I was reading the comments left by Blonde.Chick back in February and some of the other girls and I really understand the discouragment a lot of Christian girls face that there seems to be NO godly young men out there. This has been something that has often discouraged me, but there is hope! Even though they are few and far between, there are young men out there who are pursuing Godliness. Something that was a huge inspiration, encouragment, and conviction to me was "The Modesty Survey" done by "The Rebelution." There is a link to their webpage on the left hand side of this page. If you go to the Rebelution blog and scroll down to the "Modesty Survey" on the right, read what over 1500 guys had to say about modesty! It was so encouraging. Here are a bunch of young men, mostly ages 16-24, who where begging us girls to dress modestly and help them in thier Christian walk. Wow! There really are guys out there that want what is pure!
    I really believe that if we "Delight ourselves in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our hearts." (Psalm 37:4) I know that if we wait for God's timing and give Him the "pen", He is going to write us a love story that we will be proud to tell. A great book which is recommended on this site is "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy. It has changed my whole perspective on God's design for relationships.

    I hope this is an encouragement to you all!

    on Friday, April 24, 2009 at 11:29 am
    i guess what i meant when i said that was that i feel like a cute guy wont like me becase of the way i look....but now instead of thinking they are shallow and things like that i look at myself and think why would they want me anyway? i am completely two faced....the only place i am really real is on this blog and looking at half my posts why would any decent guy want someone like me? how can i be real when my inside is twice as bad as my outside and maybe worse than that? at church one night last month or so we did a girls study and my youth pastors wife taught it...she had us make a list of qualities that we want in a husband/bf and then she said that if we dont have any of those qualities how are we going to attract a guy like that? i mean i have almost no good qualities my life is a mess i have no trust for anyone i have no clue if i am saved or not...i realize that the prayer i prayed when i was 4 obviously was not enough.i have more secrets than i can possibly get rid of and i am completely alone. i want a guy because i want to feel loved and accepted and i want to feel like my secrets a problems and all the gross nasty things in my life dont matter. but they do and i know they do and right now, as badly as i want a bf the only guys it looks like i will be getting are terrible terrible people if its true that i will attract guys that are like the kind of girl i am.
    on Friday, April 24, 2009 at 2:13 pm
    I know that God should be enough but i feel so lonly and i felt so good when i did have bfs but as yousaid only for a short time my past with bfs has not been good they all either cheated on me or used me for a day and left me i guess i just am not pretty enough to make them stay idk but i want a guy that likes me and me alone and that will stay with me.
    Erin Davis
    blonde chick
    on Friday, April 24, 2009 at 11:09 pm
    My heart aches for you! I just want to hug you for a really long time and then begin the difficult process of uncovering the lies that have led you to bondage.

    Have I earned your trust? I hope so because I need to be bold here. You don't have any business even worrying about attracting a guy right now. There are clearly some issues you need to deal with first. Namely your feelings of worthlessness and your doubts about God.

    I am not sure exactly how to help you. But I am committed to exposing you to Truth.

    Here's a great place to start.

    Luke 12:6-7 says, " Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."

    Fear not, sweet girl. You are of great value to God.

    Erin Davis
    on Friday, April 24, 2009 at 11:19 pm
    Sweet girl, I just don't think you are ready for a romantic relationship. I promise you that it is so much better to stay away from that kind of thing until you are full satisfied in Christ. If you can come into a relationship as a whole person, not looking for affirmation of your value and worth, the results are SO much better.

    Do you think you could hold off on pursuing this type of relationship for a while and work on developing a deeper walk with Christ?

    on Friday, April 24, 2009 at 11:23 pm
    Ok... so I have like this really really unusual relationship with this one guy! Like, first we dated at the beginning of the school year, then he dumped me for my bff, and then we like hated eachother cause of that, then we became best friends, then we liked eachother ALOT again but I didn't wanna boyfriend so we didn't date... then we went like off and on liking eachother... and now were just friends and we say that we don't like eachother but I still like him actually, I just don't wanna boyfriend for a while... but I mean do any of you think that its wrong to be like head over heels for a guy basically but know that your personal standard is not to date... I'm so confused!
    on Saturday, April 25, 2009 at 1:43 pm
    i dont know how to let go of this nead i feel so worthless without a guy but mabey i can try i have tied before i just dont know what to do to top it all off im not even allowed to date so when i do its a seceret and i have to wear skirts all the time no pants allowed it SUCKS! any points on how to get back closer to god wouldf help.
    on Saturday, April 25, 2009 at 7:43 pm
    I totally understand where you are coming from I really llike this guy at my school but I know that I don't need a boyfriend and besides he has a girlfriend. So what I have been doing is just keep saying to myself I don't need a boyfriend and all those feelings just go away.
    response to the girls v-blog.
    on Sunday, April 26, 2009 at 2:30 pm
    & there isnt anything wrong with wanting a boyfirend.
    Just don't become obssessed with that.

    - it would be a shame if my comment didn't show up BECAUSE I am right.-
    Last Edit: on Sunday, April 26, 2009 at 6:09pm by edavis  
    Erin Davis
    on Sunday, April 26, 2009 at 6:10 pm
    You are welcome to share your opinions on this site. We are happy to have you here.

    However you are not welcome to be mean to the other girls on this blog. I appreciate your insights but have deleted portions of your comment because I will not tolerate rude remarks toward the girls on this blog.

    on Sunday, April 26, 2009 at 10:54 pm
    I when I believed in God, I was very unhappy. I always could be more devout. Now that I realize its nothing but nonsense, I am a much happier person.
    re: erin
    on Monday, April 27, 2009 at 8:11 am
    i dont think you understand exactly how hypocritacal i am when i say i am two faced...I have that verse you gave me memorized. i am the only person in my youth group who bring my bible and a notebook EVERY week. i am at church more than i am at my house. I DO read my bible almost every day but obviously cant get much from it. At church i am a model chistain girl. i am in speakers tournament and youth choir and puppet ministry and every time i go i have a smile on my face that everyone thinks is so genuine. to everyone there i am so happy. my parents think i am so trustworthy. but its all a SHOW. life to me is like a game to see how many people i can get to believe my lies and its getting so so so OLD. i am so scared that someone is going to find out and my parents and youth pastor and everyone else i love will know all about me and i do NOT want it that way. so i keep pretending. but i am getting worse adn worse at keeping my smile. i find myself about to cry in the middle of youth group for no reason or i will cry if i laugh too hard. so idk what to do but if you think praying will help in any way please please pray for me.
    Last Edit: on Monday, May 18, 2009 at 10:00am by edavis  
    Erin Davis
    on Monday, April 27, 2009 at 2:05 pm
    It sounds to me like what you were experiencing was religion. And you're right, religion typically leads us to feel trapped in the paradigm between our own inability to live perfect lives and a religious standard of perfection.

    Jesus is the only hope in this situation. Unlike other religions, he doesn't require us to earn our salvation by being good. He paid the price for our sin by his death on the cross. We don't have to earn it, he freely gave it to us.

    Those of us who have accepted this beautiful Truth want to live lives that are pleasing to God because we are so grateful for what he's done and because of a desire to draw others toward him. We still mess up (often) and that can be disheartening, but it doesn't mean that our salvation is lost or Christ's love for us has changed.

    This gives us the freedom to pursue righteousness without condemnation when we fail.

    Does a relationship with Jesus that doesn't require you to be perfect appeal to you?

    Erin Davis
    on Tuesday, April 28, 2009 at 4:48 pm
    even tho we dont "need" a boyfrend dorsnt meen we shouldnt have one! I am 14 and have one and he is an awesome boy! so I think it is personal preferance.
    on Tuesday, April 28, 2009 at 10:28 pm
    I really loved this blog. I always felt as though my life wouldn't be complete with a guy, but know I now better. I love when I get attetion from guys, but there are better things to be concerned with. You have to wait for the guy God wants you to be with.
    2 umm
    on Thursday, April 30, 2009 at 4:17 pm
    i have a ? what is your definition of obsessd???
    - Monet2
    on Sunday, May 3, 2009 at 12:49 am

    on Tuesday, May 5, 2009 at 4:40 pm
    YAYA!!!!!! I GOT A BF!!!!!
    My Opinion
    on Friday, May 8, 2009 at 10:05 pm
    I've been thinking lately about what I'm going to say to boys if I ever get asked out. My parents have never said I can't date. I've made that choice myself. I am not going to date until I am old enough to marry. I'm 14 now - so that's 3 years away at least. I don't want to have the memories of all my exes at my wedding! I also don't want to give the one small piece of my heart that's left to my Mr Right. Yes, I do want a boyfriend - the one I'm going to marry. I don't have to try them all out to know that. BTW, I loved the article! I love this site!! :)
    on Saturday, May 9, 2009 at 11:01 am
    IT SAYS, "Love is patient and kind; lovedoes not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."

    Thats what love is, its not just a feeling, or butterflies in your stomach... thats lust.
    on Tuesday, May 12, 2009 at 3:52 pm
    You go girl!! you are so right keep it up neva give in!!
    on Tuesday, May 12, 2009 at 3:53 pm
    ya you are right love is way to strong of a word and i really ment like alot!
    Boy talk that has gone too far
    on Tuesday, May 12, 2009 at 9:20 pm
    My friends, all they talk about is guys. It gets really annoying. They can't even talk about a topic without bringing up the topic of guys. I really don't want to listen to them talk about guys anymore. They also say that they "have to have a boyfriend". It drives me nuts. What should I do to get them to stop talking about guyz?
    Re: Lauren
    on Thursday, May 14, 2009 at 10:48 pm
    That must be awful! Very discouraging to constantly have to be reminded of boys and having a boyfriend, etc. Maybe you should try changing the subject when they bring it up. Are these friends of yours Christians?? If they are (or even if they aren't) you could tell them about how you're not dating until the time is right... it would be a good example for your Christian friends, and might even get them thinking, and even for your non-Christian friends, it could be a statement about your faith in Christ! Otherwise, maybe you shouldn't hang around them as much, and look for other Christian girls who share the same morals or ideas as you do. It could be very beneficial for you and them also! :) Don't forget to pray about it too. :)
    The right thing?
    on Friday, May 15, 2009 at 3:32 pm
    I recently got a boyfriend and he is the strongest Christian I know...I'm just not sure how far physically I can go with Him without compromising my faith. What I'm asking here is: As a Christian girl, how far physically should/could I go in a relationship and stay pure?
    this is not good
    on Friday, May 15, 2009 at 11:55 pm
    i acidentally put my email adress as my name and i do not want it on here!! is there any way you can delete it off of the blog?? its the one right about your reply to kris on april 27...
    on Sunday, May 17, 2009 at 11:07 pm
    That's definitely a touchy subject (word pun not intended lol). I think it kind of depends on the person. Some people thinking hugging/kissing is fine. I think the less physical you are with your boyfriend/girlfriend, the less of an issue it would be... as far as lusting or doing something regretful. I mean, there is nothing wrong with hugging and kissing, as long as you don't overdo it. However, if you know it is something you struggle with or may struggle with, then I suggest you should stay away from it. I decided not too long ago that I would save my first kiss for my wedding day. Pretty crazy in a world like today's, eh? I think it makes it more special though. I mean.. imagine this: You have a boyfriend, and you kiss. After a certain period of time, you end up breaking up. Then maybe this happens another couple times. How special will a kiss with your husband be when you've already kissed how many other guys? It's not only that, but it's also about protecting the other guys purity. We all know how guys can be physically stimulated, and I think you have to be careful not to push it too far because it just makes it harder for them to maintain purity. AND I wouldn't want to kiss a guy until my wedding day because if I was dating a guy, there's a chance we may not get married. And he may marry someone else, and I would never want to take away from his relationship with his future wife. Ya know? It's hard, I know... but I also know that it's definitely worth it. :) Just be careful not to let your relationship with your boyfriend get in front of your relationship with the Lord!
    Erin Davis
    on Monday, May 18, 2009 at 10:01 am
    I deleted your email address from the name bar in your previous post.

    thank you!
    on Monday, May 18, 2009 at 10:19 am
    thanks so much erin that really freaked me out...i feel much better now
    Erin Davis
    to erin
    on Monday, May 18, 2009 at 10:34 am
    i dont think you understand exactly how hypocritacal i am when i say i am two faced...I have that verse you gave me memorized. i am the only person in my youth group who bring my bible and a notebook EVERY week. i am at church more than i am at my house. I DO read my bible almost every day but obviously cant get much from it. At church i am a model chistain girl. i am in speakers tournament and youth choir and puppet ministry and every time i go i have a smile on my face that everyone thinks is so genuine. to everyone there i am so happy. my parents think i am so trustworthy. but its all a SHOW. life to me is like a game to see how many people i can get to believe my lies and its getting so so so OLD. i am so scared that someone is going to find out and my parents and youth pastor and everyone else i love will know all about me and i do NOT want it that way. so i keep pretending. but i am getting worse adn worse at keeping my smile. i find myself about to cry in the middle of youth group for no reason or i will cry if i laugh too hard. so idk what to do but if you think praying will help in any way.
    Erin Davis
    on Monday, May 18, 2009 at 10:35 am
    Girl, you've got to come clean. Your secrets have put you in bondage. You MUST tell someone who is godly and trustworthy.

    on Wednesday, May 20, 2009 at 1:40 pm
    I dreamed of having boys' attention since I was probably 9 or 10 years old. I even remember writing out prayers to God, asking Him to somehow make me beautiful. (At that time, boys called me ugly and I was made fun of.) I remember looking at magazines with "perfect" girls plastered all over the pages. That's what I thought beauty was, and I wanted it bad.
    Did you ever hear it said that if you keep asking and nagging God for something, He'll give it, maybe just to show you that it's not right for you?
    Well I'm pretty sure that's what happened. Now I'm certainly not saying I'm beautiful physically. But I've had multiple strangers approach me and tell me I look like a very attractive movie star. My looks changed drastically since I was 10 years old. (I'm now 15.) This physical beauty God has given me has been the biggest stumbling block of my teen years. Sometimes I wonder how much closer to God I could be if I just wouldn't have this distraction. To be honest, sometimes I'm envious of girls who have an average appearance, or even less than average in the world's eyes. I understand that "all things work together for the good of those who love Him." I'm holding on to that truth. But I want to let all you girls know, be very careful what you ask for. And be so very grateful for the unique beauty God has blessed you with. He really does have your best interest in mind...
    on Wednesday, May 20, 2009 at 6:52 pm
    man i have a problem i like this guy but hes like 2 and a half years older then me thats it just 2 and a half but he dosent seemtto know i exist as girlfreind material were really good freinds but thats it idk y well actuall;y i found it out yesterday at his graduation i spent forever puting tmy makeup on and every thing and i got there and theres all these pretty girls with huge boobs (comparedtomysize38a) in there little bity black dresses that there boobsd dwere popping out of and there long tan legs and i could see y he didint like me im not [retty enough i dont show of my body like that then i thought whats the point of dressing modest mabey if i didint he would notice me idk i am so confused!!
    on Friday, May 22, 2009 at 4:23 am
    Hey anonymous(boyshelp), I don't know if he is into you or not, but don't think it is all about exterior. You really don't want him to date you for your looks, he should look at the great person you are. It's good that you are friends but don't push anything. Don't let those feelings make the friendship awkward, trust me it ain't nice. If God wants that relationship to happen it will. Pray for his direction and listen carefully to his answer and obey...even when the answer isn't the one you were expecting. The person God has for you will notice how beautiful you are inside...or even make up free in your cozy pajamas!!!
    on Friday, May 22, 2009 at 4:07 pm
    thanks for the advice iknow it shouldent be about extereer things i am just so low idk if i can get any lower if it wernt for my freinds and god i would just curlup in aball and never get up and i deffinitly dont want to push things cause i dont want our relationship we ahve now to be ruind he has a great personality he is soo sweet and nice any awy do you think that 2 and a half years is that bad???
    on Friday, May 22, 2009 at 10:46 pm
    So are you saying that it isnt good to have a boyfriend this young? I mean girls always want to be noticed. I mean I will admit that I like it when boys talk and look at me I enjoy it. I am wondering if a guy comes to me and asks me to be his girlfriend should I say no because I am too young? Im just confused with all these blogs. So girls shouldn't have boyfriends?
    Dreadful Thoughts
    on Saturday, May 23, 2009 at 10:11 pm
    I just read that chapter and my biggest fear is growing old alone. I am more afraid of that than Satan himself. I always thought I needed a boyfriend I have been getting angry at God for not sending me one when I realized that God doesn't have to fix my problems. So I got over that one but I just can't think about being alone. I love kids and I wish to be a mom but how could I be a mom without a husband. I think I have a talent with kids and how could God not send me a husband and not allow me to express my talent?
    Erin Davis
    on Sunday, May 24, 2009 at 4:05 pm
    Good question.

    I wouldn't say that having a boyfriend is necessarily "wrong." But I would ask, that for girl's who aren't ready to pursue marriage, what's the point?

    Looking for guys for validation that you matter is a losing battle. They may be interested in you one day and not the next? You may be their crush of the week and they move on to your bestie the next week. Does that mean you aren't beautiful, wonderful, and cherished by God? Hardly.

    And getting into dating relationships years before you are ready for marriage can't lead any where good. Where it can lead is to broken hearts, compromised purity, strained friendships, complicated time management, and distraction from God and others.

    So, I guess maybe I am saying you shouldn't have a boyfriend. At least not right now. Wait for God's timing. The results will be so much better.

    Erin Davis
    Erin Davis
    on Sunday, May 24, 2009 at 4:23 pm
    Mind if I ask how old you are? I'm just wondering, because I think you probably have lots of time to achieve your goals of becoming a wife and mom. Our culture may have a timeline for when those things should happen (meet guy in college, marry after college, have babies 5 years later right?) And while that timeline may work out for some girls, it is not established by God. Let Him work all things to the good in your life. It sounds like the root of this issue is really lack of trust in God's ability to provide what you need. What are some ways you can work to trust Him more?

    Erin Davis
    on Wednesday, May 27, 2009 at 12:21 pm
    I do know what it is like to want to be noticed and feel like you never will be. But I beg you to avoid the temptation to dress immodestly in order to draw the wrong kind of attention. I promise that isn't going to get you where you want to be.

    Wouldn't you rather be noticed at the right time by the right guy just for being you?

    erin (boyshelp)
    on Thursday, May 28, 2009 at 9:20 am
    i took your advice and did not dress inmodestly and now he dose like me!!! he told my brother and he likes me for me not my body or watever hes soooo sweet!!
    Erin Davis
    on Thursday, May 28, 2009 at 10:43 am
    I am proud of you for not compromising to draw attention to yourself. That is always the right choice.

    One word of caution: Proverbs 4:23 tells us,
    "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

    Be cautious and prayerful in this situation. Ask God to help you guard your heart. The stakes are high if you don't protect your heart. Go slow. Pray often. And lean into God's Word as your source of wisdom and Truth.

    erin (boyshelp)
    on Thursday, May 28, 2009 at 7:32 pm
    i will erin thanks alot i really like him and hes so perfect hes a christian hes sweet kind you name it i think he really is a good posiblity for me to marry (later on)!!!

    p.s. ohh hes really cute to !!!!!
    on Monday, June 1, 2009 at 11:58 am
    I read some of the comments of the other girls and it really makes me sad that some girls don't have the self-assurance that they are beautiful women of worth and they think they need guys to assure them of themselves. I don't think there's anything wrong with dating and having a boyfriend as long as you have the right ideas in mind. I would almost never turn down a date with a guy if I didn't know him very well because that's what a date is for, to get to know a person and learn if you're compatible with them. If I already knew the guy, and knew his intentions were purely sexual I wouldn't even bother with such a worthless experience. That being said, as soon as I found out a guy was only looking for something I had physically or he was incompatible in other ways I would look for in a life partner, I would get out of the relationship. I haven't necessarily been hunting for a husband but I think it's essential that girls be smart about who they spend their time with and learn early on that they deserve to be treated with respect and I think it takes some time to learn what you want. I've developed really good self-control and I have an excellent "guy sense" now because of my relationship experience. I've been able to sort out the important qualities I NEED to have in a life partner. So, I don't really think you need to date with the sole intention of finding a husband but maybe with the intention of learning about yourself and the wonder of the world of boys. Just keep in mind that all your expectations for yourself take top priority, don't let someone decide things for you, especially not a teenage boy lol.
    on Thursday, June 4, 2009 at 9:28 pm
    You don't want a boyfriend they will eventually dump you and break your heart--just a heads up about your love-life
    dump the boys while you can!!!
    i need a boy friend
    on Wednesday, June 10, 2009 at 1:18 pm
    hi my name is chelsea and i really need a boy friend. well im almost ten and i try to be my self and believe but its harder than it looks. and a specially i am not a girly girl at all im just not afraid to get am a tom boy and friends that are 8 all ready has a boy friend 10 doesnt have one and my friends say im a good citizen and very friendly i just feel left out you know and i surely have all characteristics and i just feel like i need one
    on Wednesday, June 10, 2009 at 7:56 pm
    hi my name is chelsea i am 9 years old and i am not a princess am a thomb boy and i am not afraid to get dirty my friends tatum and eliabeth are so lucky they have one but i dont and tatums 8 and elizabeths 10 help me i dont what to do
    on Monday, June 15, 2009 at 12:21 pm
    I have this guy in Youth Group who loves me and he has since 6th grade.(: and I love him a lot! truthfully... I do want to marry him. And every wednesday after youth group it's just me and him waiting for our rides...so we are all alone. the first night we were alone... and we both knew we loved eachother so i put my legs up on his lap and we held hands and everything was fine! the next week i was beyond tired from my buisy day and he said i could sit beside him (kinda close) so i did... well i fell alseep for a couple minutes. nothing happened. and it felt fine... but im not aloud to date yet and i really like (ok i love) him but i just dont know if he's the one i WILL marry. I want that, but I dont know what God has in store for me! I'm hoping its "boy" but i dont know! i prayed and prayed and asked for God to give me a sign of somekind if He doesnt want me to date him/marry him someday but i dont want to go to youth group this wednesday and be like..."uuummm... i dont know about this" because i love him! he is everything i wrote on my list of "stuff i want in my husband" and he even wrote me a poem one time! he's way sweet and nice, good with kids, etc. but im just stuck! thanks for letting me comment...i needed to let this out! (:
    on Friday, June 19, 2009 at 12:28 pm
    I'm 15 years old and I too have had a relationship. He knew my standards and we both decided to take it slow. We ever hardly sat together, but there were those days we did in school. We never touched or did anything that was unappropriate. We really did like each other. Even though we took it slowly, I took it fast. I let my thoughts wander and take control of a relationship. Things went ok, but my thoughts were like a snake coiled up waiting to attack. This year at revival a made a decision to take it even more slowly; too to sorta stop the relationship.Later I made the decision to stop liking him; b/c he was not going in a path that I wanted to be in; a godly one. He soon found out that I didn't like him any more. I spent many days comming home from school crying b/c I had to let him go. My thoughts were so twisted with him, that my finger of emotional attachment was around him so tight! People knew that down deep, both of us still liked each other. But the only way to end my thoughts was to end the relationship.

    I want ya'll to know that guys aren't worth it right now. They will be worth it when the right time comes. If you like a guy right now, avoid thoughts that will and could consume you. Remember that God is in control and he'll pick you out or has already waiting, your future husband. Prepare these years for your future husband, stay godly and pure! :)
    on Sunday, June 21, 2009 at 3:34 am
    Hey, great website we have here its so good to know there are other christian girls struggling with the same things so many times i feel so alone in my struggles especially what i find hard and i know most of you do as well, i find it hard to put God first in my life above my wants eg. husband, boyfriend, like its so exciting to have one, what are a few good ways to wait for one an put God first in the meantime as i find it so hard an when a guy likes me i get so carried away and easily put the guy first before God? Does anyone else struggle with this?
    on Sunday, June 21, 2009 at 10:57 pm
    i really like this guy.. but i've never had a boyfriend. and the thing is.. everyone seems to think we would be perfect together. seriously.. even before i started liking him.. people were telling me about how i should go out with 'luke'. and he is one of my best friends. even people i am not that close too. i am always having people ask me what i would say if he asked me out..
    but now i like him. but i don't want this to get in the way of my relationship with God. the other problem is.. my best friend likes him too. we both know we aren't going to let this get in the way of our friendship.. we aren't that stupid.
    but i am struggling a lot with this. because i really, really like him.
    but i was just thinking about this.. reading some of the comments...
    and i realised that i am way too young to even be thinking about marriage (14 next month).. and if this is the guy i want to date when i get older.. then God will keep him around in my life and he will still be there when i am older.
    but... this is what i am thinking now.. not all the time. i don't know what i'll do if he asks me out!! and i think i will be crushed if he gets a girlfriend.
    iv taken all this to God.. and its slowly getting better... but this is hard!!
    on Monday, June 22, 2009 at 4:32 pm
    ok you are 9YEARS OLD what are you doing thinking you nead a boy freind i mean do you honestly think that if you get abf you might marry him somday ummm NO YOU WONT!!! you freinds do not need bfs either you are lucky you are single and you nead to stay that way!! for a LONG time you are only ten dont waist your life and time on boys!!!
    helppppp please
    on Tuesday, June 30, 2009 at 1:35 am
    i have a problem. my best friend) is REALLLLY boy crazy. between homeschool group, her brothers sport team, and camp she has had six crushes at once. and to hurt her heart even more, she thinks the boys she likes, like her alot too. once she thought that just because one of her crushes didnt talk to her for a few days, he hated her, when really, he didnt realize he wasnt talking to her beacuse they dont really know eachother.

    this next part is pretty off subject, sorry!

    even though we've been besties since we were born (were the same age, 1 month difference) she puts me down sometimes. i was talking to her younger sister who had an aeropostale sweatshirt and i told her how cute it was and that i buy the sweatshirts they have too. well, my bff cousin came in and said to me "just because you were first to buy aeropostale, doesnt mean you wear it best" (she too wears it) and i just tried to push it off to the side and start a new conversation.

    the next time i saw her was at my house, and i wanted to show her this odd thing you could do with a mirror that makes you look really weird. i told her about it, and she said "but im already super skinny" and acting like im the big girl, when really neither of us are big, or little. there have been several more times when she has done this and im just really tired of her putting me down and me not standing up for myself! im not trying to act like shes not beautiful, trust me shes really STUNNING! i also hope people dont get the wrong message and think were jealous of eachother or something, because we both know were both beautiful and God loves us. please help.
    re: Helpppp please
    on Sunday, July 5, 2009 at 6:07 am
    Hi Yessy,

    Im thinking maybe your bestie is having some of her own problems etc confidenc e, low self esteem, becuase some people when they have issues take it out on others and put others down to feel better about themselves, i have a friend who does that to me, like i love her but when shes angry she puts me down i dont understand coz i dont put down people when im angry, but maybe God is trying to tell you to not rely on other people to tell you who you are, coz if someone puts you down coz their having a bad day- there is nothing wrong with you, something is wrong with them, maybe just ignore when she puts you down and still be nice to her an just show her Gods love and pray that God will give you the strength to not let other peoples views of you distort how God views you
    on Monday, July 6, 2009 at 12:33 am
    thanks lots!!!

    i also forgot to put in there that we're cousins, so in a way thats kinda differnt than a non-related friend. i just looked over the comment i wrote, and the way i wrote it makes it sound like we dont have the best of times together and do everything together.

    it doesnt really make a difference to the great and helpful advice, but i just had to tell you :)
    on Monday, July 6, 2009 at 10:57 pm
    No worries, its all good tough times bring people closer together so i hope you work things out and just always try your best to show her Gods love :)
    Michael Jackson fan 43
    on Tuesday, July 7, 2009 at 9:54 pm
    Ok i really like this boy. He is a strong christian who bases his life on the word of God, just like I do. I told him i liked him and he told me that he wanted to get to know me better before we went out or something. I really like him and I talk to him about anything. I wanna know if its ok to talk to him about anything more than i talk to my friends or family.:) :)
    country girl
    on Friday, July 10, 2009 at 3:38 pm
    my boyfriend is really nice to me and i love him so much,but he has asked me to do some pretty bad things. what should i do?
    Erin Davis
    country girl
    on Tuesday, July 14, 2009 at 11:00 am
    In a word: run!

    1 Corinthians 6:18 says, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."

    I assume the things your boyfriend wants you to do are sexual. And the Bible gives us a simple plan of attack when we are facing sexual sin--flee!

    I know that you like your boyfriend and you say he is nice to you, but I promise it is not worth the price of continuing to be pressured to make poor choices in this area. And if He truly treasured you, he would want you to follow God's plan for your sexuality, since that truly is what's best for you.

    I'm not saying this will be an easy thing to do. In fact, it probably won't be, especially if your heart is already entangled with his, but trust me, it is the right choice.

    Is there anything I can do to help you take this important step?

    trust me
    on Wednesday, July 22, 2009 at 10:18 pm
    hey i know just how u feel, i used to have boy problems to and thought that you know maybe i wasn't prittey or skiney enough. in fact in fourth and fith grade i had a bff and we saw this guy and for weeks we hated eachother and did anything in our power to get that guy. I went 2 extreems and wore a minni skirt an tight tight shirt 2 shcool every day.
    Haha...Guys man...
    on Thursday, July 23, 2009 at 1:46 am
    Some of u girls are only like 12 or 13...thats sooo young, and u don teven need to worry about guys right now...sure they're really fun to be around but stay out of a relationship....ive had many really close guy friends and whether u want it to happen or not, they will fall in love with u no matter what u do...they just cant help it, thats how they're made...its cute tho...haha! i have many close guy friends and i think that thats enough for now untill im atleast 19 or 20. (im 16 now)
    Do I need a Boyfriend? No. Want one? Definately.
    on Friday, July 24, 2009 at 3:46 pm
    I know that having a boyfriend at 14 is just putting unnecessary temptation in your life, but it does feel nice when you know a guy likes you. I talk about this with my friends for church all the time.

    By the way, this was by FAR my favorite chapter! :D
    I loves boys
    on Monday, July 27, 2009 at 11:31 am
    well itz a thing about dudes.. that make me happy, some of them are nice, song of them are street , some r freaky, some are good follwers.... i go after allot of different type of dudes... but when im wit one is like omg he really cares... idk... now i go out wit a gud dude at times, he street,nice, christian, freaky, mean, rude... but now its been 6 months in our relaionship and all those things are just now comin out of him,, he has never been rude and mean to me now... but i luv havin one... but the bad thing about it is that im 12... ill b 13 soon.... i just need to get out this trap wit me n him rite now... like we listen to a song called take u down by chrus brown... den he turn real freaky.. idk wat to do help me plz
    i dont need a boyfriend! But i sure do want one
    on Tuesday, July 28, 2009 at 10:32 pm
    I'm sorry but boys are stupid i had a boyfriend my freshman and sophmore year and he was a jerk. And now i now why boys are stupid and you know what i thought i loved him but sure enough i didnt. So girls if your reading this be careful cause it puts alot of temtation on you with a boy. Especially if he tells you he loves you at prom mine told me that and i didnt know what to say so we broke up and then he started talkin bout stuff and asked me back out and i said noooooooo way not happening again and i feel lonely without someone to tell me they think im beutiful. But guess what god thinks we are great how we are so we dont need to change. And still i want a boy in my life but I'll wait for that person intill god thinks its time hope you understand what im saying i love everyone but just trust god about dating i dont think you should. Just because your friends date and you dont have a date doesnt mean you need a guy your fine theres a guy in this world thats longing for you and hes longing for you but wait for it please cause i dont want you to get all mixed up cause i did once and i regret what i did but now i understand that god forgives me and u so thanks for reading this sorry its so long..
    love destiny
    boys are boys but what do i do
    on Tuesday, July 28, 2009 at 10:36 pm
    What should i do theres this boy i was dating and come to find out he likes boys.EWWWWW gross yeah but hes a christian hows that possible please tell me. And i stuggle alot with lusting what do i do to overcome it .
    Erin Davis
    on Thursday, July 30, 2009 at 1:49 pm
    It is possible for Christians to struggle with homosexual urges, just like it is possible for Christians to struggle with other temptations and sins. I think the right approach is not to act so disgusted by it and to make a concentrated effort to pray for him. Pray that God will reveal his truth about homosexuality to your friend and that your friend will choose to walk in God's path instead of embracing a homosexual lifestyle. Show compassion and love toward him as he is struggling with a temptation that I imagine is very difficult to overcome.

    As for your struggle with lust, I don't see how it is that different from your friend's struggle. We all face temptation, but how we respond to that temptation is what is most important.

    I would encourage you to take several practical steps.

    1. Find an accountability partner. Find a christian woman or friend your age(it needs to be another female since you are talking about lust) and open up to them about your struggle. Ask them to ask you how you are doing in that area regularly and to keep you accountable not to sin in this area.

    2. Search out God's Word for His Truth about lust. A great way to do a topical study is to use an online Bible tool such as www.biblegateway.com and type in the keyword, "lust." Really study all that God's Word says about this subject.

    3. Saturate your life with God's truth. When you find verses about lust that are particularly helpful or convicting put them somewhere that you can see them often. Write them on your bathroom mirror, copy them onto your school notebook. It's a great way to meditate on God's Word and continually remind yourself of His Truth.

    4. If you've sinned in this area, you need to confess it. Proverbs 28:13 says, "He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy." You may be stuck in this area because you need to confess your sin to God and possibly to a trusted Christian friend or mentor.

    Please let me know if I can do anything else to help.

    on Friday, July 31, 2009 at 10:20 am
    Most people think that it's the greatest thing to have a boyfriend, but it's not. Most of the time you either get into trouble or it's a boy you don't really like after a while. They usually bring you misery. It's ok to hang out and be friends with them. Just don't get too serious with the idea.
    on Friday, July 31, 2009 at 1:48 pm
    I don't have a boyfriend. I live in a small town and there are only two or three guys that I could name who are my age/a couple years older who are Christians. I like having attention from a guy but I try not to dwell on it.
    There is this one guy I like but I only see him once a year for a week (our families go to the same place for spring break). He teases me a bunch and sometimes I think he likes me too but he never says anything and neither do I. We are indierectly related. His father is my aunt's brother. My aunt is related to me by marriage, she married my father's brother. So he is my cousins' cousin. Anyway, our mutual family teased us to no end last year because my aunt said he was flirting with me and my cousin kept saying, "oh did Randy walk by the window?" just to see if I'd rubber-neck. I'd really like to get to know him better and hang out more (in the week our families are together) but I know if I did, we'd both get teased and bugged even more. I'm not even completely sure that he likes me too. Argh
    on Saturday, August 1, 2009 at 7:35 pm
    okay thanks that helped alot ill talk to him and get an acountinany partner thanks for the advice it helps alot. And ill try my best to talk to him about it..
    on Monday, August 3, 2009 at 4:47 pm
    okay so theres this guy at school...we're both on the swim team and so i see him like A LOT and he always looks at me and i him..but weve only talked once cuz we were in eachotheres computer class last yr...but hes like gorgeouseeee and i dont date, but i really wanna become close friends with him! hes a yr older than me...but hes sooo cool! and my friends brother asked him what he tinks about me..and he(andrew) said that he thinks that i wouldnt like him...WHAT THE HECK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?? helpppp!!! it just makes me wanna be friends with him even more...but i guess i'll find out more wen school starts! ahhh! hes so cool! GEEZZZ!!!
    the need to have a boy friend
    on Monday, August 3, 2009 at 6:14 pm
    i dont need to have a boyfriend. i have often found out that ill go to the extreme to impress a guy when the truth is if i didnt have to impress jesus to like me i dont have to impress any guy to like me no matter how cute or funny or smart he is
    At work...
    on Wednesday, August 12, 2009 at 7:40 pm
    Ok so i recently got this job at the animal care center in RSM, and the guy i work with is really cute and nice to me....and its just soooo hard not to like him! i sorta cant help it! and it really seems like he might like me too....Hes so cool...we work together a lot and so im with him a lot...hes not a christain guy...but he behaves differently than the other dumb guy i work with....man sometimes i hate being boycrazy! arrrgg!!! any replys?
    on Thursday, August 13, 2009 at 4:07 pm
    I feel like I need to have a boyfriend to make me happy.I know its not true but still. Ever since people have started calling me names I have never really felt happy about myself.One time I got called ugly and then later that year I got a boyfriend.He kept telling me I was super pretty and that I should NOT listen to what the call me.He always listened about what people had to say about me then told me what he thought.Ever since then I have felt that if a boy likes me then and only then am I pretty.Now I feel like I need a boyfriend to help make me happy. What should I do?!?!!?
    Erin Davis
    on Friday, August 14, 2009 at 9:19 am
    That is exactly what this post is about. The idea that you have to have a boyrfriend to be validated is a dangerous lie. I strongly encourage you to re-read this post and focus on the Truths that are presented. Pray that God will use his word to change your heart.

    Also, have you read this section in "Lies Young Women Believe?" It is chocked full of powerful Truths to counteract this lie.

    on Sunday, August 16, 2009 at 12:12 pm
    having a boyfriend iz not necessary at all. i ve had lots of experiences. dere cums a time u feel like " omg this guy is da best tin dat has eva hapened 2 me", but at da end it all a fairy tale, just like make believe stories, it isn't real at all.
    on Monday, August 17, 2009 at 7:34 pm
    okay do you remember how i was telling you about a guy i was dating and found out he was gay well he got saved this summer and now were dating again and i dont know how that happened but it did do you have any advice for me..
    kinda sorta maybe not?
    on Wednesday, August 19, 2009 at 12:36 pm
    i have never had a boy friend, nor shall i until a young man, approved by my godly father, comes with the intention to marry. but i must say i am guilty of the desire to have a close male friend. i find myself, whenever i'm around my friends, to try and be "near" the guys. it seems silly, and it is...
    but ever since i've read the book lYWB, i have felt a tremendous desire to just be friends and be "normal" staying on my side of the floor. :)
    Erin Davis
    on Wednesday, August 19, 2009 at 2:44 pm
    I would strongly encourage you not to be in a relationship with a guy who has only been saved a couple of months. I am THRILLED that your friend has accepted Jesus as his personal savior! What a beautiful thing. But that doesn't mean that he is automatically boyfriend material. Why not just be his friend while he is growing in his relationship with Jesus. I am sure he needs as few distractions as possible as he is making the radical changes necessary to become a fully devoted follower of Christ.

    21 years strong
    on Tuesday, September 8, 2009 at 10:35 pm
    Wow. This is an amazing blog. I'm not a blogger but I think I might start especially if it adds to my bible study time during my busy school day. I am 21 and I attend a military academy. For one, I have never dated. Always wanted to but when the time came I kept saying...Hmm... I think I can wait. and then I start to feel lonely, but that loneliness draws me closer to God. I have many great guy friends, but I really believe God wants me to wait. NO ONE is perfect, but my heart desire a pure relationship that God honors and that he will bless. It's not easy girls, but I known that God always come in the nick of time. Some people argue that argue that waiting on God is an excuse, but it's not. It's his word. The Bible says wait upon the Lord and that's what I'm doing. For all you ladies who are trusting in the Lord keep trusting because it's faith. Remeber, faith is dead without work, live that life that pleases God. Who cares what the world may say.
    on Thursday, September 10, 2009 at 5:52 pm
    so i have never had a boyfriend but i really like this guy!!! but he just left for basic training
    A boyfriend
    on Sunday, September 13, 2009 at 1:48 pm
    I am single. I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16. I met him about a month later, and we started to date. Now I am stressing to fact to everyone I know to know the guy's parents! My family ended up being very hurt by his parent's actions. He's a Christian, his family isn't, but he's a wonderful guy. His mom is emotionally abusive among other things so I broke up with him so she could no longer hurt me, and my point was that she also wouldn't hurt him as bad. We just started school again and it's really difficult to not fall into the same dating pattern even though even if we did date it wouldn't be until he moved out. He's great to me but I'm looking at the way he is and seeing red flags on characteristics that he has that I don't want to have in a husband. I want to still be friends with him but it's hard to not have my heart get too involved because it already is. I'm not sure about blogging because I've never done it before but could I get some help or advice? If this makes sense that is. ;)
    Truth #2 –it so me
    on Monday, September 14, 2009 at 2:37 pm
    omg!!!!!!!!!!this truth #2 is like . i had a boyfriend when i was in 7th grade now i am in 9th grade and i like this boy name paul his in 11th grade .but god what me to what !!!!!!!!!!!!how wierd is that
    on Monday, September 14, 2009 at 2:42 pm
    omg i toldly agree with edavis honely you should what talk to god and think about it
    Truth #2 –it so me
    on Monday, September 14, 2009 at 2:57 pm
    omg!!!!!!!!!!this truth #2 is like me . i had a boyfriend when i was in 7th grade now i am in 9th grade and i like this boy name paul his in 11th grade .and he like me and what me to do it with me help me someone
    Erin Davis
    on Thursday, September 17, 2009 at 9:17 am
    This sounds like a painful situation and I am sorry that you're in it. I think you did the right thing. If this isn't someone who it would be wise to marry (because of his family situation) than it isn't wise to date him either. I am sure it is tough to see him at school without being in a relationship with him, but that will ease with time. As far as remaining friends, that probably isn't realistic right now. Once your hearts have been engaged as more than friends, it is almost impossible to go back to being "just friends" for a while. But give it some time. Your hearts will heal and then maybe you can be friends again.

    Also, trust God with His timing. If this is someone that God has set apart for you to marry, He can work out the details. Be praying for this boy's family to come to know the Lord and for their relationships to be restored. Trust God with the results.

    Meg Kalissa
    on Tuesday, September 22, 2009 at 1:08 pm
    i'm really happy that i have only really known good christian boys, most of them homeschooled. i guess i've been blessed to have them in my life; they've allowed me to have some awesome brothers. i don't have any real ones so i always say that they have to make up for it!
    on Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 7:50 pm
    okay although im a 10 year old guy im sure that what most guys want is agirl thats not prissy and is'nt shy.the best thing to do is probaly to find another guy that is needs a girl and even though you might not like him just give him a chance. hop my advice helps!
    on Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 7:55 pm
    if my advice doesnt work then go to a guy version of this website and see if you can find some help there.
    A lot has happend this month...
    on Monday, September 28, 2009 at 4:46 pm
    okay so that guy at work totally liked me and wouldnt stop texting me and he asked if i wanted to ang out w him and i was like no my mom doesnt et me hang out with guys she doesnt know....and all this other stff...okay like a week later he tells me he likes me and asks if i like him....i say yeah.....and then all this other dumb stuff happend...and we sorta like went out...but i never said we were dating cuz im not allowed to..and he quit smoking for me and he came to church and accpted god into his heart....it was all soo cool! he seemed so changed for the better....but then like 2 weeks later hes all mad cuz we got in trouble cuz i snuck out to the lake to meet him and we were walking together and then my neighbors saw us and told mymom and then we got in a lot of trouble! and nolan was so upset... i was too...my mom had like 2 families come over and pray for me...one of the ladies i know was really helpfull tho...she explained a lot of stuff to me...and soi wrote nolan a leter, a 6 page long letter...and after that nolan could care less...he was mad at me cuz he couldnt see me...and cuz i couldnt go to his school dances w him...so after that i figured it all out...he said he would wait for me to be older to court me and all this other stuff...and that he would never do anything to hurt me...but he broke his word and broke my heart...he waas sorry, and he said sorry to me and i was like no ur not sorry, if u were this wouldnt be happening...so yeah...it was so dumb! i should have never gave him my heart...we never kissed but i did kiss him in the cheek and we would have really long tight hugs...but its not worth it, i want to just wait or that perect guy that god has for me to marry...dating and having little relationships here and there are so dumb! so yeah....BE PATIENT! and keep praying...guys r not worth it, untill ur older and ready for it...we cant be unequally yoked...find that great christain guy that will never hurt you and he'll love you so much! cuz men cant truley love unless they love god.
    on Saturday, October 3, 2009 at 12:37 pm
    I read this while I was surfing the web:

    Song Of Solomon (The Message)
    "Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem: Don't excite love, don't stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you're ready."

    So, we're supposed to wait for God to tell us when we're ready to court. Got it. But what if we've already awaken love? I believe that I was truly in love for a long time. It was a sinful love (don't know if ya remember my other posts on this. Prob not.) I was in love for about 4 years, and I'm almost completely free from that sin. What will happen, now that I didn't wait for God to awaken love in me for the first (and I guess what was supposed to be only) time? Does He no longer have someone special waiting for me? Am I gonna be the like 70% of American families who married the wrong person and got divorced, b/c they didn't wait for God? =( uh oh...what did I doooo?
    on Sunday, October 4, 2009 at 6:21 pm
    i am 13 and i have had 2 boyfriends. i wouldnt even consider them that because i am not allowed to date anyone until i am older. it makes me sad to know that i am more likely to be sexually active in high school, however i do NOT want that to be true and that makes me want to stay away from guys now! however i have been Christian since i was little and have good role models. im not gonna start dating for a while. someone smart once told me that you shouldnt ever date someone that you wouldnt consider marrying. in my class we once had a homework assignment where we wrote down the top ten things we were looking for in the opposite sex. it helped me realize that i shouldnt date 'around' and that a lot of guys arent worth it
    is it ok?
    on Sunday, October 4, 2009 at 6:34 pm
    okay i feel like i almost like it when guys like me and say and treat me like i am beautiful, but isnt that normal?? sure, guys opinions dont matter much compared to your own and God's, but it is nice to have guys like you. but it feels bad because it makes you feel like being lusted over is good or something even though it is like a guy only likes you for your body
    on Sunday, October 4, 2009 at 11:23 pm
    This really, inspirme that god will find a guy for you, you just need to wait. you JUST NEED TO WAIT!!!! GOD WILL FIND YOU THE GUY ,BUT YOU NEED TO WAIT.
    Erin Davis
    on Monday, October 5, 2009 at 2:29 pm
    I worry that you don't have a clear picture of who God is. Just because you've sinned, doesn't mean that God withhold the gift of marriage from you. I am so glad you left that relationship and are now pursuing a life of purity you can take great hope in knowing that God is able to completely heal and restore you from that mistake.

    Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose,"

    He is able to take your mistakes and redeem them for your good and His glory. Trust Him! There is no where in the Bible that says once you mess up, God washes His hands of you and withholds His blessings from you, quite the opposite.

    The mistake you made was a long way from marrying the wrong kind of guy. But you are wise to want to avoid that mistake in the future. Follow God's standards for your purity. Don't rush toward a relationship until you are ready for marriage. Only date guys who love the Lord and are committed to His standards and seek His will for every area of your life including who you will marry. Trust Him to guide you through His Spirit and His Word.

    Need some help
    on Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 8:15 pm
    I have a boyfriend who no one likes. but i like him. and he likes me. i'm very happy with him, but lately things haven't been going well with him and my friends. i;m making a lot of enemies and losing friends. should i break up with him
    on Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 9:18 pm
    Thank you, so much Erin! I was so worried about this, but now I feel better. Safe. It really is soooo worth it to put your life in God's hands, and allow Him to protect you and guide you. I made a big mistake by allowing that old passion to go too far, but I'm glad that He won't hold that sin against me. =]

    Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose"

    I'll print this quote onto the front of my school binder so that I can look at it when I get worried about this, and I'll remember what you taught me about the power of God's forgiveness.
    on Friday, October 9, 2009 at 12:14 am
    I totally agree. Everyone at my school either has a boyfriend/girlfriend or doesn't. If they don't then they're considered "unappreciated." I don't have a boyfriend and a lot of people (even guys) appreciate me. I like a few guys, yeah, I'll admit it, but that's not enough to et me saying I need a boyfriend NOW! I had a few in the past behind my mom's back and that was very wrong. I know that now. Now, i have a great guy friend who respects that i can't date until a certain age and we're really good friends. And thats all it needs to be...FRIENDS...
    on Saturday, October 10, 2009 at 5:57 pm
    I know it's wrong, and I hate how I keep believing it.. but I really do want a boyfriend. If I'm not liked by someone I feel out of place. Outwardly, I'm not obsessed with boyfriends like my friends, but when I'm the only one in my group that doesn't have a boyfriend I feel extremely left out. I know boys aren't everything and I know God created us to glorify Him, but that is what makes me feel even worse! I'm not aloud to date, and all my friends know that, but I don't know. There is so much in my heart on this topic, but I can't put it into words.
    on Sunday, October 11, 2009 at 11:46 am
    I feel the same way. I have a few really close friend who are really into their boyfriends. I felt left out for a while, until one day I found out that they both gave their virginities to those guys! I would bed my right arm and leg (and maybe my right eye) that they will not stay with those guys long enough to marry them. I still can't believe they gave up their virginities so easily. What a waste!

    Those girls who are boy crazy are playing with fire. You may feel a little left out by now, but you won't later when you have a beautiful happy marrage, and your friends won't because they completely gave themselves away to the wrong guy!

    It's totally worth it to be free from the boys for now. Don't sweat it! Just be patient =]
    ????you can call me utau though
    I do
    on Sunday, October 11, 2009 at 2:42 pm
    I feel that i need a boyfriend BADLY,
    on Sunday, October 11, 2009 at 8:00 pm
    Yeah.. I haven't even kissed anyone yet because I want to save it until I really like the guy, but I just wish I could switch my emotion around so it wouldn't be so lonely..
    on Monday, October 12, 2009 at 2:02 pm
    I think most people feel that way at first... but then realize that they don't ''need'' one, but want one.
    Squirrely Rootbeer
    on Friday, October 23, 2009 at 7:24 pm
    I don't feel like I need a boyfriend right now, but In a few years, in college...
    First Kiss
    on Friday, October 23, 2009 at 7:27 pm
    I don't really want to kiss anyone untill my wedding day, but I'm afraid that the guy will just kiss me like they do in the movies.
    on Monday, October 26, 2009 at 4:51 am
    Hi, my name is will and i really think you all are verry right in that you dont need a boyfriend.
    Last Edit: on Monday, October 26, 2009 at 9:28am by edavis  
    on Monday, October 26, 2009 at 8:54 am
    I got an idea...wear a face mask!!!! ^_^ lol

    nah jm lol how about before you start dating a guy, let him know how you feel about this kissing issue?

    but a face mask never hurt...or some garlic for breakfast... ;-)
    do i want a boyfriend?
    on Tuesday, October 27, 2009 at 7:27 pm
    sometimes i think i would be happier with a boyfriend, but then i think i don't want the hassle of possibly breaking up. i don't want the heartache. my parents don't really want me dating until after highschool. if i do start a relationship in highschool i want to start by building a strong friendship and then go from there.
    do i want a boyfriend?
    on Tuesday, October 27, 2009 at 7:27 pm
    sometimes i think i would be happier with a boyfriend, but then i think i don't want the hassle of possibly breaking up. i don't want the heartache. my parents don't really want me dating until after highschool. if i do start a relationship in highschool i want to start by building a strong friendship and then go from there.
    on Tuesday, November 3, 2009 at 6:05 pm
    In a missions conference we just had this missionary kid, ( I wont say his name) you know, i never payed much attention. but, on the last day, we started talking and he and I just played and talked and stuff...... I had never had so much fun in my life! He was just, so.... I dont know, but, i feel somthin for him. I want to get over the fact tha t I cant have him, and that, it could never be.... for he is 5 yrs older... but, i dont know what I feel..... I am soooooooooooooowanting to get rid of this feeling. and sum times I dont. I dont know....
    on Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 1:34 pm
    I have never needed a guy to feel happy...but isn't kinda usual for a girl to want to be admired by a boy?
    on Sunday, November 8, 2009 at 1:00 am
    I am not going to have a boyfriend quite yet because that gives you certain temptations. When I'm old enough, I'm going to wait for the right guy to come along that is really a true follower of Christ. Have you ever read the picture book, The Princess and the Kiss??
    Live LAugh Love
    on Tuesday, November 10, 2009 at 1:57 pm
    this is ridiculous
    on Friday, November 13, 2009 at 12:57 pm
    I am not saying, that I have to have a guy to be happy.... I just, had never felt sooo happy in my life! ( w/ a guy)
    You know how guys can be, teasing, mean, and well, some times ugly! But, that is not important. Any way...... I had never felt that way before.... I always used to hate guys, there was no one you could trust. But, well, here he is.... a '' perfect guy'' as some of you all would say... but, no one is perfect.. and if god wants me to be with the right guy, i will wait. but for what its worth, I like him! Ive known him for quite some time...
    God's Girl
    on Friday, November 20, 2009 at 3:55 pm
    I don't think all guys are mean and ugly but i also don't a guy can make truly happy. God is the only "guy" that can make u happy.
    Gods Girl
    on Monday, November 23, 2009 at 4:53 pm
    I see what you mean. But, I know also that, God is the only '' guy'' that can make us truly happy. But I am talking about an earthly feeling. you know, I mean like... besides God. Well, I am the daughter of a pastor. I explained this to him. He agrees. He knows what I mean. Hope u do 2!
    c bear
    on Tuesday, December 1, 2009 at 7:04 pm
    is it ok to have a boyfriend when aged 13??
    what should i do?
    on Thursday, December 3, 2009 at 1:24 pm
    help me!! i feel like having a byfriend is suppse to happen wht should i do?
    this article is totally correct!
    on Saturday, December 5, 2009 at 10:04 am
    Okay I have a boyfriend and all, but so many girls feel they NEED a boyfriend, often times just for the sake of having a boyfriend. Many girls begin to feel like this when they are only twelve or thirteen even if they have no intentions of marrying until they are thirty!

    Don't be mistaken. I know someone who started dating at age 12, got married at the person at age 19, and has had a healthy marraige. But This is not the route for everyone, she never dated "just for the sake of dating", but rather prayed about it and formed a very deep friendship with just a touch of romance. From there it grew into something beautiful. Some 20 year olds really shouldn't be dating (even 30 year olds should remain single sometimes), and some 16 year olds can date and get married. It's not ALL about ages. But ultimately it's God's plan for your life and you have to pray that God will make things happen with who they're supposed to happen with and when they're supposed to happen.
    on Saturday, December 5, 2009 at 2:52 pm
    ya i totally feel the having a boyfriend is rele important thing. i know i should get over it but its hard.
    on Sunday, December 6, 2009 at 4:32 pm
    Thank you for truths, it's important to remind ourselves..
    guy friends
    on Wednesday, December 9, 2009 at 10:04 am
    i hate when ever i have friends that r guys vereyone actslike we r in together like when last year when i was only like in 6th grade me and this guy were realy cloe friends cause he liked my bff and i was kinda like the person to give him advice and then when i was about to leave after a realy bad day i hugged him and then evreyone thought we were together then it ended up being bad and ruining our relationship as friends im tired of not being able to have that confort knowing that i can have friends that r guys but not realy care
    is it wrong?
    on Thursday, December 10, 2009 at 9:51 am
    i have a 14 yr old bf and im 16 hes a great christian and very sweet but my parents hate him in fact they hate every bf iv ever had! i do feel like i need a bf all the time....is that wrong?
    God's Girl
    To Abi
    on Friday, December 11, 2009 at 4:33 pm
    Yeah i know what u mean. Earthly feelings do play a big part in a girls life. But if u can control them that is good to.
    God's girl
    C bear
    on Friday, December 11, 2009 at 4:37 pm
    I think u should live your teenage life to the fullest it will be the best stage in your life. So hang out with friends and family.
    You have your whole life to think about a boyfriend.
    on Tuesday, December 15, 2009 at 8:31 pm
    All my friends have boyfriends, but when i went to a diff school all that was diff, and thats what i needed is to go to a school without all the girlfriend boyfriend stuff. All my friends say your so werid if you don't have a boyfriend but hey i said well at least i don't go boy to boy and im soooo glad i don't have a boyfriend and i would love if my friends would follow me and not go boy to boy
    Missy Lissy
    on Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 9:29 pm
    I have never had a boy friend but i do know that 2 guys like me in school. One of them has had 3 girl friends in the past 6 months. Then the other one is dating my best friend. Its kinda weird. The one that is dating my best friend has told me he has liked me for a little over a year now. And the other one has told all my close friends that he likes me. So now it all comes back to me. My best friend even knows that he likes me but i guess she thought that he got over it. But he really didn't from what i think. I don't want to tell her that he still might like me but im not sure. I don't want to rain on her parade or anything because she is so happy with him. The other guy that has dated 3 girls in the past 6 months just spends all his time flirting with me in the classes i have with him. It's kinda weird. What do you guys think?
    keeping a pure heart.
    on Monday, December 21, 2009 at 2:25 pm
    I have found that when I think of guys it helps a lot to think of them as brothers... Or sometimes I think of them one day getting married.. I think of them. I want to protect their purity as much as I do mine. One day if I marry I would really be thankful if the girls in my husband's life would have been mature enough to help him stay pure by just being his friend. wouldn't you? I must admit.. sometimes the temptation is very hard to overcome. most of my friends are dating and going "out" with someone. Actually.. I had a boyfriend. He goes to my church. After our "relationship" was over I realized how silly and hurtful dating can be. Now every time I go to church I have to remind myself that dating is stupid.. But the temptation is still there. what do you guys think??
    To: PurityCounts!
    on Monday, December 21, 2009 at 2:39 pm
    You are so right! I also like to write letters to my future husband. It has helped me to realize that even though I have not met my future husband, I can still commit adultery by thinking, and getting involved with guys I do not know were meant for me.
    on Monday, December 21, 2009 at 9:38 pm
    well i've reasd this whole book and the most talked about and discussed part of this book was the 'guys' chapter. I personaly have never had a boyfriend but i don't feel the need right now to have one. there is a lady in our church who is about 60 somthing and she has never been married but she is grateful for it because for her it was the right thing. She is such a godly woman i think that being in a relationship should not be on the top of your list, but for many teenagers (like some of my friends) it is very important and they have rushed into relationships. there straying from there standards and belifes.
    on Wednesday, December 23, 2009 at 6:15 pm
    Ya i can relate to this. In this world you see teens with boyfriends and you feel like you need one. What helped me is God and that i saw my friends get hurt and i dont want to go through the breakups the sadness ill date when im ready. One time someone said to me you need a boyfriend and im gonna get you one. I told her straight up I dont need a boyfriend right now! I dont need a label. I have amazing heavenly father great friends and family. Ya it might feel good when you get a guys attention but we have the God that pays attention to us all the time. I have a purity ring and im gonna stay pure until im married.
    on Friday, December 25, 2009 at 1:45 pm
    well i feel like i need a boy friend too. my best friend is a year older then me and she is soo cool. and im left behind. and it's hard because she gets attention for being silly. and acting like some one else. and i like this guy and she has been flirting with him FOREVER and i feel so left out.
    on Saturday, December 26, 2009 at 5:31 pm
    I have a boyfriend and he's like my best friend. i talk to him all the time! i feel the need to have a boyfriend.... i really need some advice because after reading 'Lies Young Women Believe' book, i feel that having a boyfriend is the wrong thing.... is it? i need some advice... anyone? God Bless!!
    too confused.....
    on Sunday, December 27, 2009 at 6:17 pm
    AFter reading several of hte comments above i dont really want to have a boyfriend..... i have one and i've been off/on with him for a while... im 13 yrs old... what do i do????? i want to save myself for God.... but i dont wnat to hurt my bf's feelings in the process.... HELP
    on Sunday, December 27, 2009 at 8:46 pm
    hi, my name is nicki and im 14... Lately ive felt kind of depressed, and left out. ill tell my story

    i was homeschooled until 7th grade, when i started going to public school. my parents had me totally convinced that i dont need a boyfriend, and that boys are gross and lame. my dad read this book, and he made me read it too, about procedures that some dads take to prevent their daughters from dating bad guys. he told me that if any guy ever asked me out, he had to meet and approve of them before i could date them. i started public school and was amazed at the behavior of my generation. a month after getting into school, a guy asked me to the halloween dance. i kind of felt bad, and told him my dads phone number and to call him for permission before i could go with him. (my dad said no). i went through the rest of that year, and realized that several guys liked me. it was weird, because these are the guys that are totally unpopular and made fun of.

    this year i am in 8th grade my attitude has totally changed. i realy realy realy realy want a boyfriend, and i feel willing to date him behind my parents back, even though i know that is horrible and i shouldnt be like that. i read the section on guys in lies young women believe, and i still feel unconvinced. i dont really know why i want a boyfriend, i suppose its just because i feel left out. practically every other girl in my grade has had several boyfriends!

    and now ive started feeling bad about myself... i keep asking myself "why is it that only the weird guys like me?" or "am i really that inattractive?" or "is that what guys think of me? that i should go with the weird guys" or "is that what i deserve? to get stuck with the people who everyone makes fun of?" i suppose that its really only because im not a prep.

    and, back to my parents, its totally unfair because my younger brothers can have girlfriends, but me have a boyfriend? no way

    i really need some advice, i hate feling this way because i know im thinking of this all wrong, but i still think like this. help me please
    To Nicki
    on Monday, December 28, 2009 at 12:28 pm
    Hey Nicki,
    I know what your going through im in 8th grade also. but think of this question when you get older and have kids and your kids ask you who was your first boyfriend. Do you want to tell them i did it behind my parents back? I have never had a boyfriend ya I sumtimes want a boyfriend but i have guy friends and friends that i dont need one. Ya i get lonely sometimes but thats when I need to turn to God. Also have you ever heard of Chad Eastham? If you havent i would suggest you to get his books or dvds they have really helped me. His books are Guys like girls who and another one is The Truth About Guys and his latest one is Guys are Waffles Girls are Spaghetti. They might help you with some of the questions like why you attract the weird guys and stuff. Anyway your parents might be protecting you. I know it sounds like im turning my back on you but promise im not. My parents say i cant have a boyfriend. I need to respect that. I cant date until 16. Until than i will be friends with the guys i like or who i like and if they really like you they will wait. I dont know wen your aloud to have a boyfriend but I would suggest you sit down with you parents and talk to them about it. I hope i helped if you have anymore questions write back.

    on Monday, December 28, 2009 at 10:20 pm
    Okay I'm Izzy and i'm 13 years old. im giving my life to christ... or trying to at least. but ALL of my friends (no joke, ALL of them) are either NOT christian or they don't go to church..... i'm trying to give my life to christ but it's getting difficult when i'm around people who don't understand... any suggestions? also i have a bf, but he's a lutheran.... i need HELP! please, anyone??
    on Monday, December 28, 2009 at 11:27 pm
    hey becca thanks for the good advice, ill have to look into those books... i think one of my problems too is that i really dont have a close friend... i have a few friends, but theyre not very close and that contributes to my lonliness... and a few of my friends have been close friends with eachother for a long time and talk about what theyre going to do after school together, without me... it kinda makes me sad... thanks again for the advice
    Erin Davis
    on Monday, December 28, 2009 at 11:29 pm
    Here's the link to a previous post on this topic that I think might be helpful to you: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=79.

    Check it out and then hop back here and let me know what you think.

    on Tuesday, December 29, 2009 at 8:53 am
    Thanks Erin that really helped. That helped me understand things a little bit better! Thank you! God bless!
    Erin Davis
    on Tuesday, December 29, 2009 at 9:15 am
    It sounds like you are having some identity issues. Having a boyfriend isn't going to automatically make you feel more accepted in your new surroundings. It may not seem like it, but God really is the only one who can satisfy your desires to feel loved and accepted.

    Are you already involved in a church or youth group? It sounds like it would really help you if you had a group of Christian friends who could encourage you to make wise choices and make you feel loved.

    I promise you that dating behind your parents' back will only bring heartache and disappointment. Sin is like that. It may fulfill a temporary void, but in the long run it always leads to destruction.

    on Tuesday, December 29, 2009 at 10:57 am
    Your welcome for the advice. Let me know when you check into those books if you like them. I know what you mean about not having a close friend. It was really hard on me too. I heard this once if you want a friend be a friend first. Maybe reach out to a girl who is new or sits alone at the lunch table. I know at my church i went to the people who were lonely. I made some of my closest friends that way. Also remember Jesus is the ultimate friend.
    on Wednesday, December 30, 2009 at 3:24 pm
    I have had Four boyfriends and i truthfully regret it.Because none of them were Christians.So watch out when you pick a boyfriend because you never know how that realationship will end,or you will find out about that boy.
    on Thursday, December 31, 2009 at 8:53 am
    Is it wrong to flirt????
    Gods girl
    on Thursday, December 31, 2009 at 7:07 pm
    i flirt it is natural but just be careful how much u do it flirting does turn christian guys off even if they seem like they like it!!!!!!!
    on Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 1:23 pm
    I always feel that way, Sadly, One guy did have another girlfriend when he asked me out and i didnt know. I broke up with him as soon as i could. I t really made me upset so i didnt want a bf after that. That was the only time. But the good thing is is none of my friends have boyfriends except two. And one is dating that guy :(
    on Wednesday, January 13, 2010 at 10:01 pm
    i need advice, i was a missonary in brazil for 4 years, and i came back to america when i was 7,and i have been back for 7 years now and ever since i came back there has been this guy in my church thats 3 days younger than me and he has had this crush on me. what doesnt help is that his sister is my brothers girlfriend,so i have to see him alot ontop of church. ive asked my mom what to do but all she ever says is be nice dont be rude and let time pass and maybe hill stop liking you.well hes liked me for seven years , i dont think the time thing is working anymore.he stares @ me all the time ,i really dont like him at all,everything i do he does .my personality runs over his and thats not the type of guy im looking for.im tired of being nice but i dont want to hurt the poor kid .nothings working ,any advice?
    God Girl
    on Thursday, January 14, 2010 at 6:03 pm
    I feel so different about a boyfriend now!!
    on Wednesday, January 20, 2010 at 11:18 am
    Okay, this is kind of random but... i was just wondering if it's wrong to read books that have sexual content in them. I read this book called, If you Loved me, and it was about this girl who was having sex with her boyfriend and then she found him having sex with another girl and it was all very messed up, and I was just wondering if it's a bad thing.
    God Bless!
    PS Sorry if this was an inappropriate post. =(
    Erin Davis
    on Wednesday, January 20, 2010 at 2:35 pm
    Based on what you've told me, that doesn't sound like the wisest media choice. As Christians, it is so important to protect our hearts and minds by watching what we read, watch and listen to.

    We've don a ton of posts on this topic here on the blog. You can find them by going to the blog topics bar on the left side of the page and clicking on "media."

    One in a million
    on Saturday, January 23, 2010 at 9:47 am
    I am another one of those girls who really wants a male's attention. I have never had a boyfriend. . . . because I have chosen not to. One boy and I got really close, but I felt that I needed to let him know I was only his friend. I am torn between my feelings of need for a guy to like me, and needing to stay pure. I know it might sound a little silly, but I have heard MANY stories about how even Christian teens have gotten too close with their girlfriend\boyfriend. That kinda gets me worried, so to protect myself and my friends, i have chosen to not have a boyfriend until I am much older ( I am 14). But still, even though I know my quest for purity is good, I still can get lonely for a close relationship with a guy. It is definitely hard to keep a balance.
    on Saturday, January 30, 2010 at 10:39 am
    I don't have a boyfriend. It's not that I don't ever have a crush on anyone it is just that it makes it harder to focus on God when you are trying to please someone else. You can fall back into sin even if you are doing everything right but you have a boyfriend. I actually decided to wait until I am older and more mature before I date. I still might not date though because I don't know when God will send my husband to me and I don't want to miss my blessing because I have a "boyfriend." I don't want to insult anyone but I feel with a boyfriend leads to doubt in yourself, lack of faith, a broken relationship with God, and doubt. I don't think anyone wants that negativity in life.
    Jessica Langly
    come on girls, lets walk this aisle!
    on Tuesday, February 2, 2010 at 11:34 am
    Look, the only reason we feel we need a boyfriend is because of society, society says that if we do not have a boyfriend we are not loved, if we are not loved, we CANNOT be happy. Well, I have a message for 'society'. God loves us more than we can possibly imagine, one day we may be blessed by him with a loving boyfriend. However, to say we need one, is a lie that we constantly tell ourselves (yes, I constantly tell myself that!), but untill that moment comes, we should not obsess or get depressed about it. Look forward to it, yes, but we must hold onto our dignity, and know that God loves us more than we could ever imagine, the only love we NEED is God's!
    on Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 6:48 pm
    I am 13. I think that ppl my age 'crushing' on other people is pretty innocent. I guess it depends on the person, but i dont lust over people and date them because they are 'hot.' When i get the butterflies in my stomach when they're around, is that considered lust????
    on Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 9:39 pm
    hey girls.....i just went "single" and it feels good not to have a boyfriend to be with...and i think you do not have to have a boyfriend to make u happy....and allways remeber...jeremiah 31:3 i have loved you with an everlasting love; i have drawn you with loving-kindness.
    on Friday, February 5, 2010 at 9:21 am
    hey ok my name is tyler but im a girl!! well my opinion is to not have a boyfreind,because i think they honestly pull you away from GOD!! u spend most of your time thinking about him,talking to him and ect...i've been single for about 1 year or 2 now and i love it!! cause the only "man" i have in my life is my heavenly father! yes im only 14 but before i was a christian i was an addict to drugs sex...ect... but now im free!!!! and yes im still 14!! im in FOSTER CARE and if no-body knows what that is ,its a system where you get taken away from your parents cause you dont live in a good enviroment. umm thats pretty much it!!! live your life with no heart-aches!!!!!
    on Saturday, February 6, 2010 at 8:44 pm
    I'm 13 too, and In my opinion, butterfiles in ur stomach isn't lust. I had the biggest crush iv ever had on anyone in seventh grade (last year) and whenever he talked to me or anything i would get the butterflies, it's when u start thinking about it in a more sexual way (even if u were thinking about being married and then doing it) that's when it turns to lust. Im only giving advice from what I've experianced (yes i did think about this guy that way) just dont let urself become obsessed w/ this guy :)
    on Sunday, February 7, 2010 at 10:45 am
    I appeciate the advice and ur totally right. I have imagined us getting married, as cheesy as that sounds! Also, when he hits me (joking around) or whenever we make contact, I get the butterfly feeling. I think it is hard to fall in LOVE with someone at this age because the "dating" is so casual. When I talk to my mom about my boy problems, she laughs and tells me it doesn't mean anything yet. The only boyfriend I've ever had went out with me twice. The second time he was my boyfriend, he dumped me in two days. That kinda cleared things up for me. Guys don't care as much about relationships as girls do. Girls care soooo much about it and the guy's feelings change with a snap of his fingers! To conclude, guys are a big heartache with a ribbon tied around it, except for the "one"!
    on Sunday, February 7, 2010 at 1:14 pm
    I personally am not dating, or going to date until I'm ready to be married. I'm 13, so that's a long way off.... right now I'm focusing on looking at the godly qualities in the young men around me, and encouraging them to be leaders, even if that means letting there be awkward moments by letting them talk first and start the conversations.
    I'm also praying daily for the young men I know and my future husband about their walk with God, and their purity.
    Thanks Erin!
    on Monday, February 8, 2010 at 6:29 pm
    When my mom told me i couldn't date until i was 19 i was shocked i guess. But we (LYWB Study) are starting the guy chapter and i've noticed i don't have to have a boyfriend. I'm 12 all i need to be doing is pray that god will lead me to the right man. (when i'm ready)
    on Thursday, February 11, 2010 at 5:16 pm
    I've really had my eyes opened by this. I have been searching my whole life for love and therefore, have always had a boyfriend or was looking for one. They could never love me like i needed though. Each one hurt me differently and took a part of me with them. Boyfriends seem to create regrets, regrets do not equal happiness! after i found the love i was looking for in Christ, I still felt the need for the 'tangible' love of a guy. Epic Fail. these verses provide support and encouragement and understanding. thank you! and i hope others realize they are falling for the lies before they get as deep into them as i did..
    My name translates as exalted counsel
    Need boyfriend? relationship choices
    on Monday, February 15, 2010 at 7:21 am
    Your emotions get you in trouble more than using your mind. It is probably more enjoyable, mostly, to have a boyfriend. You should want one, but definitely not need one. Don't think that if YOU feel what you call love that your boyfriend MUST BE in love also. It isn't magic and it works separately. I also say that you should not lower your standards for the quality of a guy just because you get older. I see this a lot around me. If you get with guys and they all turn out to have similar personalities and problems for you, then YOU must choose guys based on a different and better set of criteria. You must discern. Don't meet at the same type of place or always choose a jock etc. By the way, I'm a guy, in case you had not guessed. Personally, I don't date anymore and don't mind dying alone if I can not find a true lady that can live up to my high-bar standards for intelligence and most importantly ethics. All I have met have standards that don't vary much and seem to be heavily influenced by TV soaps and expectations based on the behavior of fictional males in romantic comedies and what-not. Its weird, in high school, I had the attention of many girls, even older ones. However they would not date me for I was too short and lacked much facial hair to pass as an upperclassman. I was the best shooter but my height kept me from the basketball team. When it was too late, I got a super growth spurt. I also was the only non-gay guy to seem to not be entranced just because a flirting girl came by. Why is it that they become attracted to guys that do not show attraction to them. It was as if they just knew I must be faking not really being into them, or it's a trophy huntress thing to want what it most difficult to get. When the repeated advances failed, they were most upset and showed rage as if I had lured them in and cheated. Can any of you females explain this sort of illogical progression of amorous desire? Then again, I don't know at all why one would smoke cigarettes when there is no good to it and plenty of why-nots to do it. It's as if they want to die but are afraid to die more rapidly. Enough of my rambling. In conclusion your mind should confirm "the heart" or feelings in relationships. Just feeling a "truth" is highly unreliable. And you won't get "played" if you study human psychology and relationships scientifically. I have never been falsely lead or hurt in a relationship because I observe and memorize important details of others tribulations and failures and I am a realist/skeptic. You can learn to be a great character judge without dating or hanging with someone for too long. I eliminate most potential partners before even one date. I know a lot about others from short observations and conversations and can predict behaviors and areas of probable conflicts (though still not always avoidable) Those I have dated were indeed the best of all available girls or women of those respective times in my childhood and earliest twenties. Their is still care and respect between all of them and myself. We simply what different things out of life and were all stubborn. Kwa herini, Ciao, sayonara, Au revoir, Auf Wiederschen, Zai Jiang, Adios and Good night all. Gambete Kudasai!
    syd kid
    on Monday, February 15, 2010 at 11:45 pm
    i have said so many times what the girl said in that video. some times i feel like im not pritty enough, or im not good enough. and i feel like giveing up then i spend time in his word finding out what the lord has for me and then it doesnt seem so bad. i feel really happy and excited about the lord after my time in the word. today i found this verse psalm 62:5 "For God alone, Oh my soul, Wait in silence for my hope is from him" when i first read this i was like wow! God pritty much said shut up sit down and wait for me! and i will give you the strength to do what im telling you to do in this verse. this is now my new favorite verse.
    on Tuesday, February 16, 2010 at 7:27 pm
    dont worry bout it boys r nothng just focus on god and it will be ok every boy likes me and havent been out with any the of them and im likes because of my personaity
    on Thursday, February 18, 2010 at 8:51 pm
    I often look at my friends with boyfriends that are so happily holding hands. I then want one SOOO bad! Even though I go to a small private school (with 6 people in my GRADE) I feel the pressure to get a boyfriend is large. There is a guy I like and I can't think of any good qualities he has. Sure he's funny, cute, and you can easily get lost in his eyes, I can't decide what I like him for. I'm pretty sure it is just an infatuation. In your guys' opinion, is it all right to date around when you are in your early teens if you aren't getting too serious???
    single, lonely and not wanted
    whats the point
    on Saturday, February 20, 2010 at 7:57 pm
    I feel like i really need a guy in my life because im alone im the outsider in school and it feels really nice to have attention from a boy but sometimes i jump to far in and get myself into serious trouble (dont judge me) i commited a sin a really bad one (i didnt have sex) but i felt like crap after ward and i dont feel like god has forgiven me.... i got my fone taken away because of that insident and i wont get it back for at least a month and i kinda want to have it back......... i know this has nothing to do with the subject but my prom dress is a size 13 and it dosent fit does that make me fat? my parrents want me to loose weight is that mean or the truth? please help me!


    Single, lonely and not wanted
    Erin Davis
    single, lonely and not wanted
    on Sunday, February 21, 2010 at 5:05 pm
    I wish there was something else I could call you. I hate to call you "not wanted" since I know for sure that is not the Truth. The God of the universe wants to be in a relationship with you. He adores you! He created you, died on the cross for you, and wants to spend eternity with you. That sounds like the opposite of not wanted to me!

    I want you to know that God does offer his forgiveness for your sins. 1 John 1:9
    says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." Forgiveness isn't a feeling. It is a promise offered to us by our loving God. It is important that you believe what He has promised so that you don't find yourself in bondage because of lies.

    I would strongly encourage you to find a Christian mentor whom you can talk through these issues with. Is there a Christian woman in your church or community that you can reach out to?

    single, lonely and not wanted
    on Sunday, February 21, 2010 at 5:17 pm
    ya there is but im a little nervise about doing that because its just not me i dont have the courage to reach out to somebody........ well my ex that i told you about well we were having some troubles and i wanted to break up with him and so i told him that and he overreacted and he cut himself i felt so bad like it was my fault. he went to the hospital and got help and now hes better but he also has some problems like touching me innaproperatly and it kinda bugs me but i really like him hes really nice, my parrents like him but sometimes he acts immature......

    i know im asking alot of you when i say i need ur advise

    Single, lonely and not wanted
    focus on freinds!
    on Tuesday, February 23, 2010 at 9:41 am
    ok. i just wanted to say for my boyfriend in the past has not been a very good one. and i think that you should focus on freinds more because freindship in my eyes is very important. and if they are a good freind then they will stick with you. unlike a boyfreind.
    single, lonely and not wanted
    on Tuesday, February 23, 2010 at 6:02 pm
    i dont have a good friend like that around here.....
    Somewhat obsessing
    on Wednesday, February 24, 2010 at 5:49 pm
    Okay, so I don't exactly feel like I NEED to have a boyfriend I don't think, but over the last few months I have been thinking about marriage and guys way too much. There aren't really any guys my age at the moment at church, but I keep thinking about the old ones from my old church, and wondering if they're going to come to the same summer camp I'm going to again. I don't want to spend my week at camp uncomfortable/not being myself around them(they probably don't even remember me, but I keep wondering if they will...ugh.), and I know I'm probably going to have a hard time not noticing the other guys there too. I notice new guys at my new church almost instantly, and then my thoughts go a bit nutters.
    Anyway, all that ramblingness to say I'm having trouble not thinking about guys. Help...?
    on Saturday, February 27, 2010 at 2:48 pm
    it sounds like ur boy crazy. Im in the same position you are. Think about what god wants and how he would feel.
    This is sometimes a problem for me..
    on Saturday, February 27, 2010 at 7:53 pm
    I know i dont need a boyfriend to fufill me, but i honestly hate walkin around and watchin everyone have a "someone special." It makes me wonder when i will find my "prince charming" because i always seem to be dating guys who just wanna use me, or are too ignorant to realize what they've got.
    I'm becoming a young woman now and i'm personally sick of playing all of the games guys like to come up with.

    My solution:
    I'm gonna put boys and their drama aside, and try to go to god more; rather than trying to find comfort, affection, and true love in a man.
    My momma always says, "there is nothing that a man can do for you that god can't do for you or that you can't do for yourself."
    i'm really startin to believe that statement. lol

    someday, there will be that special someone for me who i will be happy with and find love in, but until that day comes and he walts into my life i'm not going to dwell on it.

    love will find me, instead of me tryin to find love.
    god has a plan and a reason for everything.
    plz help
    on Sunday, February 28, 2010 at 10:04 pm
    so im in luv with my best friend hes a guy. Hes in luv with another girl. I keep telling myself that he luvs another girl and that just focus on God. like im getting over it bc the 1 semester is wen i fell for him. I was stupid to do so you dont need to tell me that. I mean he has liked me in the past.its just this girl in the way he loves her. I want to get over it forever not like him anymore.

    Plz help.
    Im here to help anonymous! (the comment above)
    on Wednesday, March 3, 2010 at 7:52 pm
    Dear Anonymous,
    Totally don't worry about getting in a relationship right away. Still try to keep in touch with him, like, don't completely ignore him, because then he won't know what's going on. But most importantly... BE YOURSELF! God will send along the right guy, you might just need to be patient and wait a little while. I don't have a boyfriend.. dont think I will for a while.. I'm only 12! Don't let love control your life , if love wants to find you it will! =)
    Erin Davis
    Single, lonely and not wanted
    on Monday, March 8, 2010 at 2:51 pm
    I am re-naming you Beloved! Because that's what you are and I don't like calling you single, lonely and not wanted.


    It is definitely hard to reach out for help, especially when we are hurting. But think of the alternative. Would you rather stay in the painful place you are now?

    Unfortunately this isn't something I can do for you. You are going to have to reach out and talk to someone on your own. You can do it!

    Let me know if I can do anything else to help.

    Erin Davis
    on Monday, March 8, 2010 at 2:57 pm
    Broken hearts hurt! I am sorry that you are experiencing one right now. I know that you just want God to take those bad feelings away, but it doesn't usually work that way. But trust me, time will make a huge difference in healing the hurt you are now feeling.

    In the meantime, really search God's Word for His Truth. Here's a starter.

    Psalm 34:18 says, "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

    He is close to you. Lean in to Him!

    Evelyn Gonzaez
    my best friend is boy crazy!!!
    on Monday, March 8, 2010 at 8:34 pm
    sometimes i don't even want to hang out because all she talks about is guys! when a guy doesn't want her she'll just talk to some other guy. Or she's obsessed with the idea that she is in love with this guy that is totally not. He actually told me that she's getting annoying. I'm not the only one who knows about it. my whole church knows about it. Every one is tired about it

    Any ideas on how i should deal with this?

    i really don't want to kick her to the curb, but she's driving me nuts. it might be because guys have become my last intrest until im done with high school. idk.

    on Tuesday, March 9, 2010 at 11:02 pm
    Dear Evelyn Gonzaez,
    I read your comment above... and I think the first thing to do is pray about it. God is always there for you no matter what. I have a feeling that you should just talk to her about it, let her know how everybody else feels... and if you are sort of shy (like I am) and don't like confrontations, just remember this: If she does get mad at you and sort of hates you after you tell her, she really wouldn't seem to be that much of a true friend. Just let her down gently. Sure, you'll be nervous to tell her, but if you don't tell her soon others could get... well, not happy. Just let me know how it goes! =)
    Evelyn Gonzaez
    on Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 12:53 am
    Well today i brought it up to her. She said that she didn't think it bothered her but she going to work on just being my friend. But she also pointed out that i have been avoiding her. The good news is that we both are working on making our friendship better. We noticed that Satan has been pulling us apart. But we caught him before he could make permanent damage. Thank you so much!! You helped me get my old best friend back. I thank the Lord that you helped me. God Bless.
    on Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 6:43 pm

    I am SOOOO happy to hear that you are both working it out! The Lord works in mysterious ways... i guess he decided give her an open and changed heart! I really think you were brave in being able to tell her that... I stink at telling people stuff, especially when it comes to negative things! God bless you!
    It's Ok!
    on Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 10:52 pm
    I don't hav a bf, but every time I look 4 that guys attention I don't get it, but now I'm not as interested of having a bf, but a couple guys like me. Ones not a christian and is public schooled and the other is an my homeschool group and is a christian. I like both of them, but they totally liv in 2 different worlds. I dont know what 2 do. One is my freind and the public schooled one wants 2 b mor then my freind. But what helps me in those awkward situations is thinking he's my brother, u wudn't hug or kiss ur brother, gggrrrrroooosssssss!!!!! I just always wonder why do 2 completely different people like me? My nonchristian friend has broken my heart b4 and I've said some nasty things 2 him 4 it, he dated another girl aat scool, thinking I wudnt notice., but I still like him. He was sorry and now he likes me again but Im not ready 2 forgive him yet and Im extremly caustios about giving my heart away 2 him again. What shud I do in this situation?
    on Saturday, March 13, 2010 at 6:39 pm
    Dearest Creeauna,

    OK... well... first of all.. pray to God about it! It should always be the first thing that you do, no matter what! I think in a situation like this you just need to trust God. Honestly, if it were me in your position, I would not even consider the one guy who broke your heart before. If he really did like you he would've stuck to you no matter what. I think the best thing to do is to just wait on it a little while, and don't go chasing after either of them. Because, all girls at some point fall for a guy and think that the only way to get attention or to build a relationship with a guy is to not be yourself and do crazy stuff. DO NOT BE ONE OF THOSE GIRLS!! All a guy looks for is some girl who is willing to fall for him like crazy, then he wouldn't have to do anything. Then he thinks he can just break up with you for no reason. Just wait and give it time, the Lord will bring along the right guy. But be aware of how quickly you are getting pulled in by a guy... it can be dangerous! If you feel you need to talk to one of them privately then do it, it may be awkward and uncomfortable but sometimes talking about the situation to ONE of the two guys that you like may solve your problem. But, honestly, I would never date a non-Christian anyway. If they have no biblical beliefs or standards they just don't fit the bill. Hope this helps!
    Boyfriends?? NO WAY FOR ME!
    on Tuesday, March 16, 2010 at 9:20 pm
    I have had a few times when I REALLY wanted the guy (whoever it was at the time) I had a crush on, to ask me out! But, lucky me, I had/have a crush on a WONDERFUL Godly young man! These/this guy(s) never really show an interest in me that I was wanting. I never showed it either, but, boy! Did I wish it!! I would daydream about him, and "talk" to him. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I was causing harm to myself. Now that I am older (16) and have a better idea of what I wan tin a husband, I can control my "crushes" much easier! I don't have the longing for a "boyfriend", but I do want somebody to tell me I am pretty, that he is interested in me, etc. I know that these things are not smart of me. Do what I do when you have these feelings and thoughts. PRAY!!! Talk to God about your feelings and thoughts! He will really help you!

    I love ya'll!
    Dating or Friendship?
    on Monday, March 22, 2010 at 3:06 pm
    I get the feeling that dating ruins possible friendships. When you break up with a guy that you've been in a deep relationship with, it leaves you with little of the affection you felt for him before, thus, making it difficult to uphold a friendship with him. Just a thought. :)
    on Wednesday, March 24, 2010 at 9:56 pm
    I agree with the video except for one thing most my friends dont have boyfriends. I know i am pretty and thin but its like that isnt what i care about. I feel like i want what i cant have. I just would rather have a great guy and two friends than have all the guys tripping over me and all the friends...for one reason...that love isnt real. The love of some friends are real and i know that. But lately ive been having issues with my friends. Now correct me if im wrong but it does feel amazing to have a guy who thinks your gorgeous. But I think its better to have someone love you for you not your face (or anything else for that matter) Altogether i actually pity some of the prettier girls because they will have more of a problem with guy pressure (it happens) I think i have it sorta figured out but i still need help so pray :) Luv you all

    on Thursday, March 25, 2010 at 11:43 pm
    I'm not so much desiring a boyfriend as I am looking for "the one". A lot of my friends are married and I always planned on marrying later in life but now I really wish God would send the right man into my life sooner. I'm in college and I know right now is not the time for me to get married but I really want to! I just really want someone who is there for me, loves me, and will listen to me. I know I have all this in God, but I would still love to have a man to be there too.

    on Friday, March 26, 2010 at 6:21 pm
    Okay i dont have a boyfreind, but lately i have been thinking about boys i am not saying im boy crazy because i'm not, but i met this one boy at a church thing he does not go to my church but a couple churches got together and i met him there we kinda talked he was really nice!!!! and his spirit was sooooooo bright, and i really like him it has been a couple months since i have seen him i have been thinking about him alot! i have been praying on what to do if i should forget about him or try to persue a relationship if he is the one........HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :/
    Boyfriend video :)
    on Friday, March 26, 2010 at 6:27 pm
    That video is soooo like me i see my friends and just people with their boyfriends and i wish i had one to walk around and hold hands and tell each other stuff i really long for that, but after reading that i realized i dont need a boyfriend to make my life happy that God has a plan for me for when the time comes i will meet my husband and get married even tho it is hard to watch my friends i'm working on it :D
    Thanks for that it really helps!!!!!!
    Question ? ? ?
    on Friday, March 26, 2010 at 6:34 pm
    i have one little question my parents are having me read this book called "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and i dont want to tell my parents that i dont want to read it because i dont want to kiss dating goodbye i want to be able to date and have boyfriends i am getting interested in this boy but i cant date my parents said its like i have waited till i am old enough to date and i cant how i'm i going to get married if i dont date? i am just wondering how to handle this?
    ps thanks for all the stuff you post it is really helping me :)
    on Friday, March 26, 2010 at 7:19 pm
    Dearest Jenna,
    I am so proud of you for being as willing as you are to just wait. I think that is a super duper wise move and will totally make your future easier. God will provide when the time comes, and I am very glad to hear that somebody out there is willing to listen and wait for God to respond with the answer. So many people rush into a relationship with a guy when it turns out they really dont like each other at all, I think waiting is the wisest thing to do at this point in life. Especially because you are in college maybe God wants you to focus on your grades more than boys. I wish you the best of wishes and hope that someday most girls will come to see life as you have!
    A fellow daughter of Christ
    Waiting and feeling like the only one
    on Saturday, March 27, 2010 at 4:39 pm
    I have never dated before and have never had a boyfriend. (the closest thing to that was when I went to a dance with one of my guy friends- just as friends though) I have never even kissed a boy. I am early in highschool and sometimes it seems like almost every girl exept me has either dated a guy or has/had a boyfriend. I sometimes feel like I'm the only one who wants to wait even though I know that I'm not. Don't get me wrong, I am attracted to boys (even to some I realy shouldn't or just don't want to be attracted to). Some are even attracted to me and that makes it even harder to want to wait. Blogs like this,people like Nancy, my parents, some of my friends,and expecialy God help keep me strong though. I am content to wait for as long as God wants me to. And I know now is not the time for certain reasons including these things I like to call "five minute crushes". Further more,i know God will show me when the right guy comes along and I am willing to wait.
    to ciara
    on Saturday, March 27, 2010 at 11:16 pm
    I know how you feel. It's so frustrating when you know that the guy only likes you for your looks.
    Needing a boyfriend
    on Sunday, March 28, 2010 at 2:38 pm
    I've been reading the posts about the need for a boyfriend. What breaks my heart is that I am almost 60 years old and I still see this "need" in women in their 50's and 60's. The problem, as I see it, is that this kind of thinking reduces the men in our lives to commodities. They become something we want or need to make us feel wanted, desireable or fulfilled without regard for what is best for him.

    In the 60's and 70's we women rose up in anger because we didn't want men to treat us like a commodity, but this thinking is the very thing that is at the root of our "need".

    I would like to submit that the solution is to remember that the men in our lives are also made in the image of God and deserve from us respect and agape love. We women need to see that our "neediness" frequently puts a stumbling block in the way of our brothers. They want to protect us and give us what we need from them, but our behaviour, dress and flirting puts them on the spot. Without respect for their God-given uniqueness we reduce them to something expendable, something to be changed like a pair of shoes that no longer goes with what we're wearing. They sense this even if they can't articulate it and, of course, either back away or come on strong to get physical because that is the message they're getting no matter what our mouths are saying.

    I don't want to end negatively so let me say that we can have control over how we relate to the men in our lives. Let's remember that they are people and need respect and honor the same as we do. Let's treat them like the unique individuals they are and stop treating them like an appendage that can be removed when it's lost it's usefulness. These men do not exist to make us feel ok, they exist to fulfill God's purpose for their lives. God would have us encourage them and show them the respect we want for ourselves.
    Heart vs. Brain
    on Sunday, March 28, 2010 at 5:35 pm
    Okay there's this guy that I really like, I'm dating him. But lately, it seems like he's flirting with my best friend, Addy (don't worry, that's not her real name). He actually told her he loved her. Provided that he was being sarcastic, but still. So I was talking to one of my other best friends, Kai (again, not her real name). I told Kai how I was feeling and how I was gonna break up with him. But then, I told her how I would think about it at home when I wasn't around him... when I was at home, I would always want to break up with him, no problem, right? Well, then I would get to school and see him and my heart would get all poundy and he would do something super sweet and I would think... why on earth did I want to break up with this guy? Kai told me that my brain was telling me no and my heart was telling me yes... so which am I supposed to listen to?
    Love in Christ, Hanna
    Chanel Garner
    on Tuesday, March 30, 2010 at 5:46 pm
    I agree that u should wait 4 the right guy instead of looking for a one and not really love him.I steal want i bf but i am not goin to spend my whole life looking for one , when the one for me is standing right in front of me.
    To Hanna
    on Saturday, April 3, 2010 at 3:18 pm
    Hanna, If this guy has anything questionable about him you should probably break up with him. I dated a guy for over a year and I knew that it wasn't a good thing for me. He flirted with many of my friends and I didn't even care enough to do anything about it. Well, he ended up breaking up with me after I was even more emotionally attached to him, and the break up was extremely hard for me to handle. I know it would be very hard to break up with him especially if you really like him. But also talk to your parents and see what they say. They will almost always know what's best for you. But even more than they know what's best for you, God knows what's best. So pray and talk to Him about it. He wants the best for you, and that includes giving you the best guy. Love in Christ, Meagan
    on Monday, April 5, 2010 at 10:17 pm
    ive read this stuff and i still feel like i need one. i find myself thinking about what if i had a boyfriend.. i know thats not what i should be thinking about but i see everyone having a boyfriend and it makes me feel very lonley. i feel like theres nobody out there that can relate to me.. i feel like im worthless and that no guy would ever want me. can someone please give me some advice?
    on Tuesday, April 6, 2010 at 12:02 am
    my dad said i cant have a bf but i got one any and now that me and my bf has got me knocked up wat can i do plz help
    Erin Davis
    on Wednesday, April 7, 2010 at 10:25 am
    Know that what's growing inside of you is a person, created and loved by God. Whatever happens in the coming months, do what you can to protect that life.

    This is really a situation where you need to seek help from someone where you live. I know it is scary, but please find someone to talk to. Do you have a youth pastor? Can you talk to your youth pastor's wife or your pastor's wife?

    I know you are facing very scary circumstances, but God is able to redeem it.

    wat to do
    on Thursday, April 15, 2010 at 9:40 am
    My friend got this 18 yr old bf and she is only 14 soon after she stopped goin to church and shes already gone pretty far with him now this summer he is comin down and will be alone with her most of he summer i am afraid she will be 15 and pregnant
    on Friday, April 16, 2010 at 1:47 pm
    First of all pray for her. Try talking to her giving her Bible vereses (asuming she is a christian) Let her parents know the situation and that you are conserned (this will do a lot of good if they are christians) Also let adults or leaders in the church know the problem and your consern. If you can talk to a older godly woman that has contact with her. even if know one else can talk with her still ask them to pray. you might also be able to spend time with her during the summer. I would also seek godly counsle from some one older that knows you and the sittuation (like your parents, youth leader, pastor) most of all remember God is in control and you can allways pray for her
    I am praying for both of you!!!!!
    on Saturday, April 17, 2010 at 1:14 am
    Hi,my name is aimee, ive struggled a lot with the lie about needing a boyfriend and yer. i also no a guy i used to work with and hes really hot. i started to flirt with him excessively a while back and he started making different comments bout going out and stuff and a lot of jokes he makes and stuff most of which i used to laugh at and yer. i quit that job about a moth and a half ago and since then we've had email contact via facebook, mostly stuff the book talks about like words that suggest sexual stuff and yer. i'm scared i might one day go further coz i like him so much but hes not a christian or anything. but yer.ive always said that im saving myself for marriage but its so hard when i dont have a good relationship with my dad and stuff. any advise out there on how to stop addictions like flirting and stuff?
    on Monday, April 19, 2010 at 12:57 pm
    I thought that i always needed a boyfriend but i found out that..No you don't need a boy friend and the last time that i had a boyfriend all that he wanted was sex. and i would not give it to him so he started spreading around that we had had sex but we never did. so that relationship was gone. and does it ever mention in the bible where boyfriends are concerned? My parents said not to have a boyfriend and wouldn't let me but i still did and what i wrote at the top is what happened. I always thought that i needed a boyfriend to be excepted but i didn't and i found that out the hard way. no one in high school is ready for a boyfriend were just to young. we cant deal with a break up and by breaking up your just practicing divorce.

    oohh and for Aimee i have some advice on how to stop flirting and stuff... stay away from guys. if you go to a public school don't sit with them at lunch or be next to them until you (or if you have a brother or sister ask them there really good at telling you things that need to be fixed) think you are ready. you can still talk to them but don't spend as much time with them. sit with other girls, and if there is a guy that you like right now then stay away from him a little more and that will help immensely.
    on Monday, April 19, 2010 at 3:29 pm
    Thanks but I dont now I have prayed for her for months and her parents dont care. I cant even give her Bible verses because she wont talk to or even text me. I guess praying is all there is left. (unfortunately most the people who I now she has contact with are encouraging her.
    on Monday, April 19, 2010 at 3:46 pm
    I used to be boy crazy and was costently flirting. I started by doubling my time in His word and praying more and took the challenge of spending one night every weekend In His word.
    on Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 8:49 pm
    I feel like I need a bf cuz all of my closest friends have had or do have one right now... I feel like all the guys who are my age are too immature for me though... I'm really confused right now... I don't really know how I feel about guys and since I only have one friend that's a guy I don't really know how to talk to them either even though I have three older brothers...
    Confident me
    on Thursday, April 22, 2010 at 11:49 pm
    When I was 13 I felt like I "had" to have a boyfriend too, but now I'm a little older and I see that I was kinda foolish. I begged God for a boyfriend and one came my way like a month later and when he did I realized that I really didn't want one after all. I like a guy right now but I'm guarding my heart because he may not be the one I end up marrying and I don't want to do anything I'll regret. I stopped depending on guy's liking me in order to be confident in myself and I gotta say I'm really happy. I don't feel pressured to be like someone I'm not and I don't feel like I have to be like the world in order to be accepted by it. When you follow the world's advice you're not looking after you. I have a great piece of advice for you all from a guy Chad I know:A guy likes a girl who loves herself for who she is and not what she follows. That doesn't mean be full yourself it means you have to love yourself because you like you not because a guy likes you.
    on Tuesday, April 27, 2010 at 7:43 pm
    Dearest Caity,
    I couldn't help but notice what you wrote there! Fact is, guys will always be slightly immature compared to girls. we just grow up faster. Trust me, i've realized that guys that i thought i liked were total idiots. It didn't take very long to notice that! =D However, over time they start to grow up...
    on Saturday, May 1, 2010 at 12:58 pm
    Boys for friends
    on Monday, May 3, 2010 at 7:06 pm
    I agree! I don't need a boyfriend, but i do need my boy-for-friends. Even though I don't have to be involved romantically with a guy, it's still important to spend time with guys because they can help you too. A couple of my best friends in the whole world are guys and I think it's only healthy to have a balance between male friends and female friends. so for those of you that have had ur heart broken by some jerk...you shouldn't give up on guys all together because not all of them are that way. One day all of us will spend the rest of our lives with our soul mate, so why not get used to their companionship now? There are a lot of guys out there that are sweet and caring and compassionate. My bffs are and I can't thank them enough for the times they've come along side me and helped me through my emotional roller coasters. Guys can be great friends too!
    Re:happy 2 be single
    on Monday, May 3, 2010 at 8:44 pm
    i don't need a boyfriend nor do i want 1. i am only a teen but still everyone around me is under pressure thinking that if they have a boyfriend then they are complete and that they are better than everyone else. i am reading the book that this website is based off of with my church group of girls my age and some of them have a boyfriend and others don't. even some people at your church may want a boyfriend because they need someone to make them feel good about themselves. i had a "boyfriend" in 7th grade just because i could. there was no purpose of having one other than just wanting to fit in with others. you do not need a boyfriend to fit in. you are a christian young woman who doesn't need a man....a boy to make you feel better about yourself because Jesus Christ loves you and will continue to love you no matter who you are. being different is good when you are doing it because it is the will of God.
    i know what you feel like
    on Friday, May 14, 2010 at 4:41 pm
    i know what your going through because at school all you see every where you turn are couples. i have a boyfriend but he lives a million miles away. sometimes i feel like i cant even make it through the day without him. it feels like im a ghost in a world of the living. whenever i think about him i literally burst into tears of longing... because i feel the need for him to hold me in his arms once again. but i know in my heart that every moment of every day hes thinking of me. so with gods grace i pray to him to be able to see the love of my life again soon . very soon i .... hope!
    just an ordinary girl
    on Saturday, May 15, 2010 at 12:33 pm
    girls want them.its true.everyday of mine doesnt go by without the word boyfriend coming up. i think thats because us girls have some wall in our life that makes us think that if we have one,we will be pretty or finally be accepted in everyday life-WRONG!!!God accepts us in heaven everyday.we dont need to have boyfriends to feel complete or to fill that void that your dad caused by ignoring you,or even if you dont have a dad. us girls need to take a stand.
    -just an ordinary girl
    Should I feel this?
    on Sunday, May 16, 2010 at 10:52 pm
    I'm really struggling with wanting a boy friend. I don’t flirt with guys, or have crushes on them. I am now a sophomore in college and still haven’t even been on a date or had one male head turn my way. One of the biggest desires of my heart is to marry a Christian man and raise a family. I attend a Christian College where many girls my age are dating “the one”, getting engaged or newly married and still I have never even had many guy friends. I have read many postings were girl thinks she has a crush on a guy, wants to flirt, is sexually promiscuous, etc... I don’t do any of this. I want to follow hard after God and wait for the right one, but no one is coming!!! So I’m beginning to think something must be wrong with me? Whether it is looks or personality I’m starting to listen to the lie. I read lies young woman believe but still feel trapped because I am not boy crazy and still lonely. Any advice?
    guy crazed
    on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 8:50 pm
    I was going with a guy for 3 years, and never had sex, never kissed, but hugged, and held hands. BFs are ok! we just need to not let them take over our lives.
    you may want him but you sometimes dont need him
    on Friday, May 21, 2010 at 12:46 pm
    I posted a comment a couple days ago and its true most girls think having a boyfriend is like finding the other half off your heart. but sometimes its not. like millions and i mean millions of people at my school get hurt every.. single... day! Some people may seem great at first but when you really get o know them the can be really big jerks. i mean im just saying this because ive had a personal experiance just a couple of years ago. i have a boyfriend now and i... love him but what im saying is be careful who you date. they might be the complete opposite of what you think they are.
    on Saturday, May 22, 2010 at 11:01 pm
    I get what your saying, Naomi. A lot of guys do tend to "seem" like all we've ever wanted, but then you hang out with them and find out who that real guy is. Luckily, all the guys I've ever taken an interest in were perfect little gentlemen. I know a lot of really nice guys that don't cheat, that communicate really well, that treat girls respectfully,that aren't too forward or innapropiate, and most of them aren't Christian. So not all non Christian guys are bad..not that I'm saying that that's what you were saying, Naomi....I'm just saying.
    A girl
    on Tuesday, May 25, 2010 at 7:44 pm
    Hey! I have a question! My lil' sis just recently ended a relationship with this guy she liked because he was a real jerk, but now he seems sorry because he's being really nice to her all of a sudden. My sis is kinda regretting the mean things she said to him. Should she accept his idea to be friends? Erin, I would love your advice on this one and anyone that can help! Thanks!
    on Friday, May 28, 2010 at 2:59 pm
    guys...can be sooooooo stupid! most guys are anyway! ive had three 'bf'' or whatever all twice!!!!i hate that my so called best friend is pratically going out with my ex-bf. my other ex-bf is obsessed with me...he told me he loved me...that was freaky....and my other ex-bf absolutly hates my guts. so now im pretty much permanetly single which im pretty happy about because if i always had a guy with me i would never really have any friends...that are female. most guys will dump you anyway....but the last bf i had that i wrote about like that was last fall. but um...lets just say we broke up then like i always texted him and called him tried to make thing 'right' with him. yeah soooo wrong choice.... so yeah any advice out there for me not to be so obsessed with guys and the guy that is obsessed with me????
    Just an ordinary girl
    Re: A girl
    on Sunday, May 30, 2010 at 9:56 pm
    Hey A girl about what you said, I think your lil sis should still be friends with him. sometimes, an x-boyfriend can make a great friend because he knows you better. most of mine are REALLY close to me now. i talk to them about stuff i usually dont with my friends cuz they know me and my problems. tell your lil sis be careful and friendly (we dont want anything bad to happen) and hi.
    -Just an ordinary girl
    Just an ordinary girl
    Re: Hannah
    on Sunday, May 30, 2010 at 10:02 pm
    Hey Hannah. I know how it feels to be single. I am right now. But my mom tells me great advice everday. My mom once said " Dont be chasing after boys and asking them out. God has one chosen for you. And one day that guy will see you, and youll be everything hes ever wanted." I know it might take a while for him to come, especially with me goin into high school and all, but it will be worth the wait. Until then, enjoy the alone time now so you can focus on him and Him later.:)
    -Just an ordinary girl
    RE: any advice at all???
    on Monday, May 31, 2010 at 1:47 pm
    i talked to my mom last night about my problems and stuff which really helped me...but anyway she told me like don't be obsessed with guys focus on your walk with Christ and everything a mom should say....but i mean i have the desiar (sorry i hate spelling) to follow Christ and not be obsessed with guys and drama and everything but its not as easy as it sounds!! i mean like ok my last bf i had (im in jr. high)..i broke up with him 4days later...i kept texting him trying to like see if we could go out again because i mean its a girl thing ya know? hormones up and down especially at that time of the month...well guys don't understand that..they're too inmature but the guy i went out with was like really nice to me but pratically our entire 'relationship' was on paper! we sat together at lunch but he would like never save me a seat at our chapels at school...almost never talked to me....but hes insanely cute!!! well thats what i think still anyway....but now he and i are like enemies...and i still like him and ok on friday guys started spraying their axe on me and everything and he kept going ahh young love and stuff like that...my friends said that he was jealous but....idk so any advice to bust my guy obsession before friday cause thats when i get out of school..... every single one of his sibilings are my fb friends but him! but anyway please advice anyone?
    A girl
    Re:Just an ordinary girl
    on Monday, May 31, 2010 at 5:19 pm
    Thanks so much!!! My sister values your opinion very much and she said she's going to try to be nice to him even though she's still cringing a bit about him being a jerk and all. I love it how you're giving advice to other girls. I like to give out advice as much as I can and I usually don't ask for it much. I tried to give advice to my sister, but I really didn't know what to tell her. So thanks for your help, sister in Christ. Hi back!!!
    Just an ordinary girl
    Re: A girl
    on Saturday, June 12, 2010 at 7:40 pm
    Youre very welcome A girl! I love giving advice and helping other people. I especially love after a while going back and looking at my own advice, because in the end it helps me out alot. When I help people God makes me happy. So if any girl out there needs advice just post it and if you want put "any advice Just an ordinary girl?" and I will get back to you ASAP with the best advice I can, ok?
    - Just an ordinary girl
    A girl
    To:Just an ordinary girl!
    on Tuesday, June 15, 2010 at 10:36 pm
    Thanks for having my back. I really appreciate that. That's funny that you mentioned about re-reading your own advice....i was just doing that. Actually...i do have a question for ya. k. here goes:I have not had a crush on a guy in a long time and i was wondering if that's weird? I find some guys cute, but I don't actually have an interest in any one particular boy. It's weird...at least for me. I cant think of one boy i know that stands out to me...they're all like....my friends. I know that's actually a good thing, but does it seem strange to you that I almost "can't" have an actual crush on a guy? I have not had a crush in like a little less then a year. Let me know what you think. Thanks. Ur the best.
    Boys' attention
    on Friday, June 18, 2010 at 5:00 pm
    I have grown up in an enviornment where boyfriends are crimes, and only wicked people date. I've come to find out recently that that isn't the case. I'm not saying that boyfriends are wicked, but I'm trying to change my mind set. So, anyway, I have never had a boyfriend and I don't know any people who have had a boyfriend. But I find myself struggling many times with wanting a guy, not a boyfriend really, but just attention from one. For the past few years there has been a guy who has been a VERY close friend to our whole family, and I thought that he was my guy, but recently we've been broken up... I liked him because I knew that he loved me for who I was, unless he pretended for four years, anyway... Sometimes I feel like I NEED a guy to survive, since we've broken up, I've seriously considered suicide... I feel like I'm too fat to be likable, like he's the only one who ever would really like me. I wish I could have a relationship with God like how some of you sound... I think that this blog has helped me, but that doesn't change my feelings. Does anyone know of a way to change a girls' feelings about wanting boys' attention? This is probably changing the subject a little bit, but I don't even know if I'm saved. I've been a christian since I was three, but... I don't know. I love you girls! I'll be praying for you!
    Erin Davis
    on Sunday, June 20, 2010 at 4:38 pm
    Check out Lindsey's great post on how to know if you're saved: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=511.

    on Thursday, June 24, 2010 at 6:20 pm
    Guys can be jerks and I would hate to be in a relationship where a guy would dump me and get heart-broken over him plus you will always know God loves you and will never leave you heart-broken.
    Just an ordinary girl
    to:A girl
    on Saturday, June 26, 2010 at 12:43 pm
    sorry i havent replied in a while.ive been really busy.but i dont find it weird u dont like a guy.sometimes i dont like a guy but think that theyre cute.sometimes God doesnt want us liking guys cuz he wants us to focus on him.maybe thats his way of tellin u that u need to focus instead of havin worldly desires.just pray to him and ask what u can do for him.God doesnt want us to use him as a magic box for miricales only, he wants us to love him and come to him for anything.just pay attention and God will send the right guy.
    -Just an ordinary girl
    A girl
    Re:Just an ordinary girl
    on Monday, June 28, 2010 at 8:24 pm
    Hey, thanks for your comment. I totally think that ur right. maybe God is calling me to be closer to Him then the world. You don't need a guy in ur life to make u happy. all u need is God's love and the more I look for Him, the more I'll feel His arms around me. ur the best. <3
    Just an ordinary girl
    Re:A girl
    on Wednesday, June 30, 2010 at 11:03 am
    ur very welcome.and thank u for saying that im the best.but its not true.i dont come up with this stuff all by myself, so im giving the credit to God.
    -Just an ordinary girl
    on Wednesday, July 7, 2010 at 5:32 pm
    hey girls i just want to say that sometimes not being aloud to date can be stressful. but hang in there!!!!!! one of my favorite verses says "be still and know that i am God." instead of trying to get the attention of that hot guy that sits next to you in history. be still! understand that God wants you to stay where you are and let him bring Mr. right along. -'Still' single
    on Thursday, July 8, 2010 at 6:20 pm
    I completely agree with you. We can still hang out with all of our guy friends without trying to make a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship out of it. Glad to see someone on the same page as me. <3
    on Thursday, July 8, 2010 at 9:26 pm
    i feel consumed by the need fer a boy friend and even if i dont want to date a specific guy i find myself just thinking about talking to him or seeing him. i kinda do this with ALOT of guys and one of them isnt even someone i know that well. we dont even say hi when we pass in the hall at school or at church just a smile from me and a nod from him HELPPP!!!!!!!!
    Too Bad It Has To Be This Way
    on Friday, July 9, 2010 at 6:35 pm
    I know a girl who is obsessed with getting a boyfriend. It's all she ever thinks/talks about. She even has a goal to be married and have a baby by the time she's 23! It would be nice if girls could understand that life is not devoid of rainbows and sunshine simply because they don't have a boyfriend. I wish my friend could see that. The right guy will come along at the right time. Meanwhile, enjoy what you've got, follow God, and trust that everything will fall into place as it's meant to.
    Just an ordinary girl
    I need your help now
    on Saturday, July 10, 2010 at 11:12 pm
    i was textin a guy friend of mine that knew i used to like him.i brought up how i was single and he said we need to talk at camp.i said ummm ok?so i asked if we could talk about it now or does it hav to b in person and he sain in person.then yesterday i asked if he could at least give me the subject it was about and he said it has to all be in person.im really wondering what hes gonna say (or do) when we meet and talk at camp.please help!!!and post what advice u think could help reassure me he wont give me my first kiss or anything like that.i still havent had it and when i was young id slap any guy who tried.so i dont hav much experience there also.please post any and ALL advice.
    -Just an ordinary girl
    Re:Just an ordinary girl
    on Tuesday, July 13, 2010 at 6:47 pm
    Hey. If you slapped boys when u were younger because u wanted to save ur first kiss, then why freak now? If you dont want to be kissed, then dont let him. Just trust him and if he tries anything that makes you uncomfortable then just say so and tell him to back off. You shouldnt be worried about him. you should be worreid about you. As long as your strong in ur faith, youll do fine. <3
    to ciara
    on Thursday, July 15, 2010 at 12:20 pm
    hey, girl i know exactly how you feel. I struggle with the same thing. It's disgusting! I almost think it would be better to just be "plain". ya know what i mean? or just not be quite as pretty? but my mom keeps telling me that God must have made me beautiful for a reason. And of course that would go for you, too.:) i'll be praying!!!

    Sorry this is soooooooooo late! i didn't read your comment until now:(

    by the way, i love your name:)
    Mower Girl
    on Tuesday, July 20, 2010 at 12:06 pm
    There's a guy whose been our family's best friend for years, and he and my sister were "BFF" until they "broke up", I guess you could say. And I think that he's turning to me, but many times I have temptatious thoughts about him. I really do love him and he has told me that he loves me, and he said that he didn't mean it in a bad way, like he was "in love" with me or anything... There is NO way our parents will let us date or even think about us courting until are old. Almost all the people on here have boyfriends, and if they don't they're still allowed too. But I think that my Dad won't let me even think about courting with a guy unless he's perfect. And there aren't any perfect guys in the world!!!
    I have sinned. This was the same guy, but before my sister "Broke up" with him, I think that I've "Awakened love before it pleases"... Now, I can't think of anything else all day!! I can only think of love, this guy, marriage, and everything imaginable concearning the topic. I want to love God with all my heart! But I can't! I'm too distracted with this guy... My parents keep telling me that his actions say that he doesn't love me, but I KNOW that his intentions are different! But we've been separated! And I feel like part of me is gone. He was always there to help me when I needed him, even though he was best friends with my sister. He really cared how I felt and what I needed... In every area of my life, it wasn't uncommon for him to question me about how my walk with God was doing. And just how I was feeling emotionally and physically. And the day before they broke up, he would hold my hand... I know that this isn't new for most of you, but it is to me! I'm 14 and I know that I'm still young, but I can't stop thinking about him. Even though he was my sister's best friend, I always got a lot of attention from him... Now I get NONE of that... Just because my Dad figured out that this guy isn't perfect. Tear... Sorry guys... I don't have any friends that I can talk to concearning this, so I hope that you don't mind. Love you!
    ERIN OR DANNAH!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP:(
    on Tuesday, July 20, 2010 at 12:50 pm
    Ok so im not allowd to date and one of my friends brother just asked me out :):( i told her about it and she said that i should just date him and not tell my mom!!!!!!!!!! i said i prolly wouldnt do that and she said that if i dont go out with him she wont talk to me right now at our church we are doing the lywb study and just guess she is doing it too and shes in my group beleeve it or not!!!!!!!! what do i do?!?!?!?!?! !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!/!?!?!?!?!
    mower girl
    on Wednesday, July 21, 2010 at 2:36 pm
    hey girl sorry to hear about your delima.:( why does your dad say his actions dont express his love for you? are his actions inappropriate? your dad may be trying to protect you from getting in to trouble with this guy. for instance he may think that you wont be able to with stand the temptation if he pressures you to have sex. but then again i dont know this guy. he may be some one who wouldnt do that lets hope so. love ya girl, be strong!!!! (P.S.im 14 and not alowd to date either. :)
    on Sunday, July 25, 2010 at 11:34 pm
    so theres this guy that i met when i visited a new school for a day (im going to the school this year)... he really likes me... the thing that bothers me about it is that if this guy started to like me a few minutes after meeting me, then how can he like me for who i am? (im 15 btw) ive been told by all the girls that go to that school that he likes all the new girls right off the bat... so, again, does he like me for me or does he like me because im someone new???? advice wld be awesome
    Ugh.. =/
    on Tuesday, July 27, 2010 at 9:47 pm
    Okay, so the dude that i like was over my house today with his sisters and a couple of my other friends. He actually has broken collarbone but today he didn't wear his sling like he was supposed too. I got up out of my seat for a second and he stole it from me, and then i was like, "hey you cant do that!" you know, in a sarcastic way.. and when i said that i sorta slapped his arm lightly, ya know in a joke-ish way... and then i realized i just his his broken collarbone arm! I felt so terrible, i said i was sorry and stuff, but i dunno he seemed really mad... what to do?!?!
    on Tuesday, August 3, 2010 at 7:10 pm
    yeah some guys get really touchy like they freak out my cousin plays football and he broke his collarbone when he came over i gave him a hug bc he hadnt gone to the doctor so he didnt have a sling or any thing on and he blew up on me and didnt talk to me the rest of the day. i know it sounds like he was over reacted but i didnt know how much pain he was in. my advicew give him a sincere apollogy and some time and he'll come around. ;) Love in Christ , Halli\Red
    Erin Davis
    on Thursday, August 5, 2010 at 11:07 pm
    Honor your mom and dad. If your friend ditches you for disobeying God's Word, she wasn't much of a friend to begin with.

    You can do it!

    on Saturday, August 7, 2010 at 8:48 pm
    ok thanks for the support. but what about the hateful glances and glares i get when we break up in small groups for the bible study. she just WONT stop.

    p.s. love the website! ;) love, halli
    Erin Davis
    on Monday, August 9, 2010 at 2:33 pm
    What's the worst thing hateful glances and glares can do to you? They can't hurt you. Ignore her. I promise things will die down quickly if you do.

    what to do?
    on Wednesday, August 11, 2010 at 6:36 pm
    alright... so... im gonna be 13 pretty soon, and i think sometime within the next year or two we might be moving... and a major problem is I really like this guy but im not too sure if he likes me, but i don't want to move without him knowing that i like him, just incase. So, whats your advice? should i tell him right before i move, tell him sooner, or just not tell him at all? We are pretty close friends and i go with him and his sister to youth group a lot
    on Saturday, August 14, 2010 at 10:35 pm
    Hey,if there's a chance you're going to move soon the nI wouldn't tell him at all. Because if you do tell him and he does you like you back and you do move then you both get hurt. But,if you don't tell him and keep your crush then it may sting a little bit, but you'll get over it. And...what if you do tell him and he doesn't like you back? Then things may get awkward with your friendship. Just stay friends. Even if you don't move,I'd still stay friends. If you two were meant to be then God will all make it unfold when you're ready for marriage. <3
    Re: Enzie
    on Monday, August 16, 2010 at 9:31 pm
    thanks so much for your reply! i really like what you had to say, i'll definitly go for what you said
    on Tuesday, August 17, 2010 at 9:57 pm
    You're very welcome. If you want any more advice just keep leaving comments at this specific articlle and I'll always answer your questions. Good luck with keeping your crush to yourself. It's actually kind of fun. <3
    Re: Enzie
    on Thursday, August 19, 2010 at 11:13 am
    Thanks a bunch for your advice, and i am pretty sure that i probably will have more questions headed your way!
    re: Enzie
    on Saturday, August 21, 2010 at 11:50 am
    Okay, so... just recently i had a sleepover with one of my friends and she told me that she and another one of my friends think that the guy that i like likes me, and another one of my friends said the same thing... should i let this change anything? I'm just confused... what to think?!
    on Wednesday, August 25, 2010 at 7:31 pm
    Well,anonymous. If you really HAVE to make a move on this guy then I would make 110% sure that he does like you before you confess that you like him. But remeber my warning:There's always the chance that you'll end up ruining your friendship.
    If he does like you he'll confess it to you. Let the guy pursue you. <3
    HELP ME!
    on Wednesday, August 25, 2010 at 7:34 pm
    I have a big problem. I'm being bullied online and I can't get them to stop!!!! they harass me with mean coments and they won't go away. i dont want to tell my parents or they'll just freak and ban me from the internet forever even though it's not my fault. what do I do? I'm broken and cryin'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Erin Davis
    on Wednesday, August 25, 2010 at 9:44 pm
    Tell someone today! I know that is scary and I understand that you fear you will lose all Internet privileges, but that may not happen or it may be necessary for a bit to get these girls to stop taunting you. Wouldn't it be worth it to take a break from the Internet if that became necessary in order to stop the taunting?

    In any case, please tell an adult right away. If you don't want to tell your parents try a school counselor or someone from your church. Although I would certainly encourage you to tell your parents even if it feels scary. These things can get out of control in a hurry.

    I want you to know that without even knowing you I care about you deeply. Even more importantly God cares about you. He doesn't want you to be hurt in this way.

    Who are you going to tell about this problem today? Let me know your plan.

    It's ok
    on Thursday, August 26, 2010 at 6:51 pm
    i dealt with those girlz myself. they're gone now. i just told them i didnt wanna fight any more and they just got bored picking on me. i guess i waz just being a wuss and needed to step in and tell them to knock it off. i didnt tell my parents,but i will someday. <3 thankx erin
    on Thursday, August 26, 2010 at 9:15 pm
    I was wrong. I thought i fixed my problem but i only made it worse so I decided to give up the site I love going on to get away from these girls. I want to be free.
    Erin Davis
    on Friday, August 27, 2010 at 1:58 pm
    You matter so much!

    Do you know what God says about you? He says you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139). He describes His love toward you as everlasting (Jeremiah 31:3). His thoughts toward you outnumber the grains of sand (Psalm 139:17-19). He thinks you are worth dying for (Matthew). He has prepared a way for you to be with Him forever!

    Now...please tell someone about the bullying you are experiencing. It's not okay for girls to treat you this way and you clearly need some help to make it stop. Is any website worth what you are experiencing.

    Our prayer team is praying for your specifically. We are praying for God to protect your heart and we are praying for the girls who are teasing you to realize the ramifications of their actions.

    It may seem scary to let your parents in on what is going on, but God is with you. he will strengthen you. Who are you going to tell today?

    on Friday, August 27, 2010 at 3:56 pm
    when i read that other fellow believers were praying for me i just broke down and cried. thank you all so much. that means so much to me. I told my sister about what was happening and that made me feel better. i blocked those sites from my computer so that i will never have to endure that pain again. thanks guys. <3
    A question that has bothered me for a while.
    on Sunday, September 26, 2010 at 3:49 pm
    Okay so i have a question.
    I had always planned to stay pure until marriage. Then I let this guy talk me into something stupid and I did it anyway because I was at a slump in my faith. So long story short I gave in. I regret doing that and I know God has forgiven me. And I am now stronger in God and have been doing great for the past two years. But at times i still fell guilty..and i know "God has a guy out there for every girl as long as they are following his plan"..but does that mean since i ruined my purity..does that mean that I ruined my chance of meeting the guy God has planned for me?
    on Sunday, September 26, 2010 at 3:55 pm
    Okay so i just want to let you know girls these days are soo mean! i have had problems of the same sort but i promise you honey there are people out there who care.. I do honey and i will pray for you and pray that these girls will be touched.. and my sunday school teacher made a good point today "that we should still love the sinner but hate their sin" if that makes sense to you.but i was like wow thats super hard!! but when she said that today i was like woah!! haha! that was soo true!! well i just wanted to let you know! hope that helps!! :))
    Erin Davis
    on Wednesday, September 29, 2010 at 8:29 am
    I'm not sure where the idea that "God has a great guy out there for every girl as long as they are following His plan" comes from. It's not like a husband is a reward God gives us if we live a perfect life. There is nothing scriptural to back up the idea that if you mess up sexually (or in any other area) that God will punish you by keeping you single.

    It sounds to me like you are believing some lies about God and yourself. Have you read "Lies Young Women Believe?" It can help you identify lies and replace them with God's Truth.

    I would also strongly encourage you to find a Christian mentor who you can talk to about these things and who can hold you accountable.

    Does that makes sense?

    on Wednesday, November 24, 2010 at 7:09 pm
    Every single day I think about what it would be like to be loved by someone.
    I find myself watching romance movies all the time and looking at that last kiss the couple shares at the end of the movie. As I turn it off I always think about how bad i want to be loved like the girl in the movie was. I want a guy so bad! I want a guy to just say he loves me. Someone I can goto when I feel upset, someone I can talk to or joke with or watch movies with. I'm not looking to be intamate, I just want a someone to love me. I look at my friends all the time with boyfirends or guys that pay them attention all the time and I'm like what about me? I'm not ugly. Everyone is always saying how pretty I am. Every were I go I feel LIKE i have to like someone. Truthfully this month I've been feeling really far from God. I feel like he doesn't even love me anymore. I find myself always saying things I don't mean and I regret it all. I was so focused on this guy the past months, lets just call him Troy. I was so focused on Troy I was thinking about him every second of the day and he hardly noticed me! And now it's like I left God on 42nd street to follwo Troy. And now Troy doesn't even hardly know I'm here and now since I've been following troy so long I can't find my way back to God. I don't know where 42nd street is anymore. And right now I feel so alone... Okay I know that God can take the place of all that a guy can but it's just so hard to believe that. I don't want God to do that I want a guy too. I want to be able to actually have a relationship with a guy that I can see and kiss and hug and talk too. Not God. I mean, I know where he stands in my life. I just don't want it to be under a boyfriend. Please help me! I'm desperate! I just can't spend thanksgiving with my family tomorrow seeing how happy they are and how in tune with God they are and I ahve to pretend to feel the same way. I just can't do it. I don't feel close to God right now. I know he's mad at me. It feels like he turned his back on me. I feel so alone and filled with fear that he's mad at me for worrying so much about guys everday! I was just looking at love stories on the computer and I think I'm going to do it now. I just can't sstop reading them to dream of being loved like that.
    p.s. that's not my real email I don't have one
    boyfriends restrict us
    on Friday, December 3, 2010 at 11:19 pm
    i dont really wanna have a boyfriend now. i wont be able to hang out with my other guy friends as much. i want to live my life freely now and have fun with all my guy friends. :D
    Victoria Gnade
    on Monday, December 13, 2010 at 11:01 am
    I like this very nice Christian boy and he is 17 and i am 15 but i really like him but i don't know if i should go out with him. He is moving in the spring and i don't think that when he moves away and he is gone then i don't think that i will be able to handle it because of how much i like him and everything. I have been in relationships before but i don't think that this one is quite like any i have had before i am not sexually active but i don't know what to do but i like this boy and everything he is very nice but i think that it is going to tear me apart when he leaves because we both like each other. And at the time that he is going to be moving away my best friend is going to be moving too. My friend is a long time friend and she is going to be moving away. I think that it is going to be a very hard time for me. I really would apreceate your prays for me. I think that it would help me a lot.


    Victoria Gnade
    My Razor
    on Friday, January 7, 2011 at 7:31 pm
    Staying on topic - nearly every single person who posted a comment here shouldn't be looking for a boyfriend, especially marriage. You're WAY too young. Life experience, people (this doesn't mean dating). Next, as long as we're in the realm of "lies young women believe", you're ALL guilty of the fallacies of Christianity.

    You believe some cosmic Jewish zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. Makes perfect sense, amirite?
    on Monday, January 10, 2011 at 11:40 pm
    I just wanted to say that your comment is HILARIOUS!!! I totally know what you mean-only creepy guys are attracted to me!!!!!!!! But i think that it is just a way of God "leading me not into temptation's lair." I know that if God wants me to marry for His glory, He will bring the right one along at the perfect time!
    Last thing-God can change our hearts if we ask Him to. Paul says " May the God of peace sanctify you through and through. The One Who calls you is faithful and He will do it." So if you are having a problem with guys ( aka lust or idolitry-both of which I've struggled with) God can sanctify you. Remember how faithful He is . His mercies are new every morning!!! Praise His Name!!
    oh wow
    on Thursday, January 27, 2011 at 12:23 am
    wow i'm not sure what to say i have a boyfriend but its a screat my parents don't know i know they should but i'm not even old enough yet i'm 16 almost 17 my parents want me to wait until i'm finished with school then i can date but i think it was on the book that i read and reread that the person you date will pro be your mate nothign physical is going on between us he lives two states away from me we just talk on the computer and call eactother i've asked about he relationship with christ and he told me he believes in God but just believes he wouldn't go any farther than that i have been praying about this and i'm not sure what or if God even listens to my prayer anymore
    Erin Davis
    on Tuesday, February 8, 2011 at 9:00 am
    I think you are probably experiencing some blockages in your prayer life because you are sinning. The Bible clearly tells us to honor our parents (Exodus 20:12, Deuteronomy 5:16, Matthew 15:4, Matthew 19:19, Ephesians 6:2) The bottom line here is that your parents have asked you not to date and you are growing a romance with this guy. This is especially troubling because he doesn't have a serious relationship with Christ.

    The best thing to do is to break off the relationship and confess to your parents that you've been deceptive. That won't be easy, but it does beat the consequences of continuing to sin.

    Have you read "Lies Young Women Believe?" It addresses the exact things you talked about in a way that is very clear to understand. I highly recommend checking it out.

    Dudes. . .
    on Tuesday, February 8, 2011 at 11:50 pm
    Ok well sometimes i really want to date or want somebody to like me. . i feel weird when people start talking about their boyfriends. .cause' i got nothing to say. It feel left out because i'm 13 almost 14 and i have never dated before. I haven't talked about it much with my parents. . especially not my dad. . it's just to weird and awkward. I would like to know when i could date but idk if i'm ready. . . i guess if i feel i NEED a boyfriend then i'm probably not ready. There are all these feelings though that want someone to like me or love me. . i have a christian guy friend who loves my bff. . he talks to me all about it. . i guess i'm kinda jealous cause' i like him. . .i feel pretty lonely sometimes. i'm homeschooled so i haven't been very exposed to much of this stuff so idk. . .
    help me
    on Saturday, March 12, 2011 at 2:08 pm
    Everyday at school I feel left out, unwanted, unimportant, and unworthy just because of little stupid things I did like last year. They aren't that big of a deal to other people, but to me, I cry myself to sleep and beat myself up every night because of what I did. Before I did something stupid, all the boys liked me, they tried talking to me and everything. But I feel like I just ruined that all for myself now because of what I did was stupid. I'm totally ignored after what happened, they don't so much as even look at me anymore. Maybe it's just me and my personality. Since I think I am way to shy of a person, maybe they see my insecurity and ignore me because of that. I can't help but wonder, is there something wrong with me? Does everyone still hate me because of what I did? Why did God let this happen? My two closest friends have someone, one of my closest friend is basicly betrothed to her bf and dumps me for him. So I feel so so alone in my situation. I feel as if no one can ever like me ever again. I feel like I need a bf to talk to.
    Erin Davis
    on Monday, March 28, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    My heart hurts when I read your comment. Clearly, you are struggling and I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everything better.

    Have you talked to a wise adult about what you are feeling? Sometimes it takes someone outside of our peer group to help us have perspective to see what is really going on.

    Also, I want to encourage you that nothing you have ever done (or will ever do) defines you. You are not this one mistake. You are a daughter of the King of Kings. He has so much to say about you in His Word that has nothing to do with what you do. I want to really encourage you to ask Him to show you who you are and pray that He will help you move past this one situation.

    I bet you already know that having a boyfriend won't magically fix anything. Boyfriends are just people, like you and me. Their attention might be nice for a time, but it won't make life smooth forever.

    I want to urge you to run to the true source of love and security, Jesus. Spend some time really praying for Him to work in this situation.

    Then, hop back on the blog and tell me what He's done for you. I bet it will be a beautiful thing.

    Just an ordinary girl
    can teens fall in love?
    on Monday, April 18, 2011 at 7:32 pm
    this was an assignment for english at school-word for word, no kiddin this is exactly what i said:
    Love-how do we know when we fall in love? Our definition of love varies. God loves us, our parents love us, but how do we know when we actually love eachother? We see them with no imperfections-to us, they're perfect. Not a flaw, no mistakes, everything we could ever want. The girl/boy of our dreams in person, like we couldn't ask for more. Loving everything about them-not just the outside, but the inside too. There's only one person for us all, the one God has chosen for us. Where you have the same boundaries and interests and love. You wouldn't dare to go a day without thinking about them. God will send you the One when it's time. And when will we be able to tell if they're the One? You'll know. Trust me, God will let you know.
    ; so many people were shocked when i read this aloud. the guy i like right now inspired this, because he likes me and has said most of this to me. he told me i was the girl of his dreams and that im perfect. i dont need a boyfriend, thats true, but if God says he's the One im not gunna let him go. questions or comments plz title the subject as JAOG comment or question
    -Just an ordinary girl
    should i get flirty or not???
    on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 6:28 pm
    ok i have a cousin whos 14-15 and im like 12;he is really nice and i dont see him alot but he is hott!!!i usually see him on christmas and thanksgiving;he is not a christian but his guardians are.sometimes he says crued jokes but i laugh anyway too.resently i saw him and he leaned really close 2 me and said:"hey,i like your dress".i kind of smiled and then left.all that was going through my head was FLIRT!!!!!another time resently i was trying 2 get on a swing and he was about 2 touch me but i got on before he could and then he said "did u get on o.k.?and again all that was going through my head was:FLIRT!!!.So........................any advice???
    Just an ordinary girl
    on Wednesday, June 8, 2011 at 2:23 pm
    woah woah woah slow down- he's your cousin? i'm sorry but if he is flirting, you might want to be careful. you shouldn't get flirty- that's just the devil getting his way. if he's your cousin, don't go for him. God did not put your future husband in your family. it's wrong to marry inside the family and personally i couldn't see it like that. it'd be like me hitting on my cousin who's a year older than me. eck. i sooo couldn't see that. but the One for you is out there, sister, and you'll find him on God's timing how He wants you to. just hold on and wait. don't be boy crazy. just have some alone time now so you can focus on him when God sends him.
    -Just an ordinary girl
    on Thursday, June 9, 2011 at 12:12 pm
    thnx J.a.o.g.thats some good advice.
    Just an ordinary girl
    on Thursday, June 16, 2011 at 11:33 pm
    You're welcome sister. and if you or anyone else needs advice id love to help. i dont get on much, but i always come back to the ones i post on and check.
    -Just an ordinary girl
    Depressed and Lonely
    Needing a guy??
    on Saturday, June 25, 2011 at 11:54 pm
    Ive been boy crazy since I was around 8. Im homeschooled but I go to school with other homeschoolers for two days a week. I have an ok amount of friends. But all of them are pretty. And im not. I have a very hard time convincing myself that im pretty. Ive always wanted to have a guy tell me im pretty. But never in my life has a guy told me im pretty. And in that case Im thinking I need a boyfriend. I know that that’s a very bad path to walk because it leads to things that im not so sure I can handle. But why aren’t I pretty? Boys at my school make up really stupid lies about my friend (he’s a guy. and we aren’t exactly friends and no one A my school knows him. Just mea.…. and my friend told everyone we’re dating) and they call him desperate and say no one will ever want me. Why are they like that!!? They’re Christian. And that’s not a Godly thing to say. I need help. =( As much as I tell myself I don’t need a guy I stil listen to the enemy sayin that I do. What am I supposed to do!!?
    --Very sad and ugly and depressed, and angry, and not ok Olivia---
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    re: Depressed and Lonely
    on Tuesday, June 28, 2011 at 2:12 pm
    We cannot control what other people say about us or to us, Olivia. I don’t know why others say hurtful things about others. It isn’t right. It is sin. God tells us to use our words to build up and encourage others rather than tear them down (Eph. 4:29). The Bible gives us clear guidelines in how to treat our “enemies”. We are to bless those who hurt us (Rom. 12:14); we are to forgive those who hurt us (Eph.4:31-32); we are to love and pray for those who hurt us (Lu. 6:28); we are to treat them as we would like to be treated (Lu. 6:31); we are not to repay evil for evil but repay evil with good (Rom. 12:17-18). It may not always be easy, Olivia, but it is always best to do the right thing and obey God in these areas.

    The world’s standard of beauty is temporary and is unattainable. But true beauty is not visible in our looks or our appearance. True beauty comes from within us – from the gentle, quiet spirit that God puts in our hearts. He tell us in 1 Peter3:3-4: “Do not let your adorning be external – the braiding of hair the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing – but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is God’s sight is very precious.”

    God’s standard of beauty can be achieved by time spent alone with Him, and that inner beauty will make you confident with what God has given you on the outside. The beauty that is visible to others around us is attained by spending time with the Father through reading the Bible, praying and then obeying His Words. You are beautiful to God, Olivia! You were created fearfully and wonderfully (Ps.139).

    Praying for you, girl!
    Getting Over the First Love... How??
    on Saturday, July 23, 2011 at 3:22 am
    First of all... It's not easy. In fact, losing someone that stole your heart is probably one of the hardest things to ever deal with. I met this wonderful boy about a year ago and we had started dating for about 4 months. He was on fire for God, super funny, played almost EVERY instrument under the sun, and a very clean-cut kid. To me, he was the closest thing to perfection that there was. It was so cool that I had found someone that shared my same beliefs, told me I was beautiful without wearing any makeup, ect. We became really close as friends before we had started dating, but when we did, we took things FAST! We didn't do anything bad because we both had morals that we live by, but we rushed into the kissing and the hand-holding. This, I think (as much as we both thrived off of the physical aspect of it) was what tainted our relationship. We both new that we loved eachother, and we both were the very "touchy/feely" type people. I guess this can be dangerous if you're not strong in your walk with God, but I believed that we were and we wouldn't let anything happen. We ended up breaking up because he lived about 2 1/2 hrs. away from me and it just got to be too hard on him...and me (in a sense). I still wanted to keep dating despite the distance because I couldn't picture myself without him.... Wow, as I'm writing this I'm actually getting to see how obsessed I was over him. Putting him above God on my priority list, if you will. I'm learning that whatever you try and put in place of where God is supppose to be, He'll knock that thing right out of your life. It's hard to believe sometimes that God is truly enough, but there's not a "truer" statement. If you're reading this and you're anything like me where you found yourself trying to fill that void in your heart with love that comes from another human of the opposite sex, you're going to find yourself feeling empty inside. I have found that only God, our Creator of the our vast universe can only fill this hole that we have.So ,my encouragement to you is that before you decide to enter into the dating realm... make sure your heart is where it needs to be with the Father first. Hope that helps, guys!

    In Christ,

    on Tuesday, July 26, 2011 at 11:13 am
    ok so i mint be going 2 a parade soon and my cousins going 2 be there.I have prayed to God 4 help 4 me to get over him and it has helped.But i want to flirt with him SO bad and if he starts to get flirty...i dont know how to resist! plz help me!,!,!,........!!!!
    Just an ordinary girl
    Re: Me
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 11:01 pm
    Yikes sounds like you're in a bit of a rough patch there. I know you posted that a few months ago, but here's some future advice. Ask God to help you through the time you're around your cousin, think to yourself how He has The One picked out for you and how he'll come to you one day, and just stay strong sis. You'll get over your mild crush eventually. It's a part of life- we're human, after all.
    -Just an ordinary girl
    boy problemo
    on Saturday, November 19, 2011 at 1:12 am
    OK so at this awana club thing at my church theres this guy, the guy ive always wanted my boyfriend to look like,brown eyes brown hair-oh, just thinking about him makes have buuterflies.(YA, im THAT stupid lol) Ok so at first when i was younger and resenly he acted liked he liked me (expecially weh i was younger lol BIG crush on me lol).anyway resenly at the beginning of club he asked me to play foosball (and the night afterward),while playing he asked me a few questions(HE IS SO CUET),i made a joke sort of innapropriot but he didnt care he just laughed and said, "that is soo,"(ya thts wat he said).but one night he didnt talk to me or ask me to do anything with him at all, its as if i dont exist.Now hes into this real athletic girl (not so pretty, nooffence) and laughs and messes around with her.IS HE TRYING TO MAKE ME JELOUS???? i dont know , i didnt do anyting wrong to himmmmmhmmmwelll mabie when i was playin ping png i may have said something stupid but i didnt think it hert his feelings (hes not one of those senitive guys.....).I no i no everyi one has fellings but seriously, its drying me nuts i dont no how to win him! plz give me some advice i am SOOO in luv with this dude,,,,,.....i used to not be able to focus on my shool cause of him! plz give some grifriend guyfriend advice! i dont want him to be annoyed by me (although i suspect he might be) an di want him to be happy but plz plz help me i cant stand to see them! i dot mean to sound like a bratt or idiot i mean im pretty ugly soo ya butbut but utbutttbut PLEASE help me AHHYAHAAAAAAAYEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am nuts!!! I AM NUTS!!!
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    re: boy problemo
    on Tuesday, November 22, 2011 at 1:36 pm
    God wants for your heart to be for Him and Him alone. It sounds like you have created an idol out of this guy and he is in the center of your heart – the place reserved for only God. Erin did a great blog on idols: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=720. I hope you take the time to read this and to pray about the place this young man has in your heart.

    When God thinks you are ready for a relationship and marriage, He can be trusted to bring the right guy into your life. The guy will pursue you. You do not need to entice him into a relationship. I encourage you to focus on your relationship with God right now by praying and reading God’s Word. This will enable you to grow in your beauty from the inside out. Focusing on your character growth will go a long way in the end. It is your internal beauty that is what pleases God (1 Pet. 3: 3-4) and will draw the right man to you.

    Praying for your, friend. God loves you and has great plans for your life. Don’t get hung up on needing a boyfriend right now. Focusing on your relationship with God will always be right and will bring many blessings into your life.
    on Tuesday, December 27, 2011 at 5:50 pm
    WOW, I think, this is the best, the TRUEST and most interesting article on INTERNET.
    Who wrote this?
    Maybe we should put this on the first page of Yahoo or somewhere more eye-catching than here.
    Thank You and God Bless you!
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    re: Paul
    on Wednesday, December 28, 2011 at 3:41 pm
    This article is written by Erin Davis and is supported by the book Lies Young Women Believe written by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Dannah Gresh. We appreciate your kind comments!
    on Wednesday, December 28, 2011 at 9:12 pm
    i really dont know what to do. All my friends have boyfriend and i feel like im the only one who doesnt have one. The guy i like smokes and drinks what should i do
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    on Thursday, December 29, 2011 at 12:48 pm
    I know it’s hard not to have what your friends have…but I’m proud of you, Sammy! You’re thinking about how to respond! I hope you’re talking to the Lord about it too, Sammy. He loves you so! In fact He’s crazy about you and wants you to have His very best.

    Here are two blogs that will help you think through your friendships and your feelings for this guy.

    http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=653 – I Want What They Have

    http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=631 - Will He Be a Good Husband.

    Praying for you, Sammy!
    on Thursday, September 6, 2012 at 12:39 pm
    I am 16 yrs old and i have 2 guys that like me. The first one (named Dylan) that i really love and the other (Named Zack) i don't. What should i do?
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    To Adriennaengle
    on Tuesday, September 11, 2012 at 4:03 pm
    God gives specifics instructions to believers about not being yoked with an unbeliever (2 Cor. 6:14). So if either of these guys are not Christians, that puts him out of the mix.

    Adreinna, I encourage you to discuss this with your parents and get their input on your readiness for a boyfriend and the two guys in question. Often by enlisting the opinions of others, they are able to see things we cannot see in the guys we care about. As you pray and seek God’s will in this matter and as you discuss this with your parents, I am confident they will help you find the answer that you are looking for.
    on Monday, September 24, 2012 at 11:25 am
    Well.... they are christian boys and my parents told me that i need to pray about it and see what God says.
    It's just hard sometimes...
    on Sunday, October 14, 2012 at 9:31 pm
    I'm 17 and I've never had a boyfriend. Really...I don't think I've never even had a guy like me...and that's hard. I see all the other girls at school who have boyfriends. I feel like I'm not good enough...that's something wrong with me. I know I don't need a guy to be happy, but it's just lonely.

    Being Judged...
    on Saturday, November 17, 2012 at 3:26 pm
    It's not the fact that I don't have a boyfriend that bothers me. What bothers me is that when you hit a certain age (which is still pretty young according to my standards) and you don't have a boyfriend, people begin to think that person is gay or cursed. I've had fourteen year olds ask me if I hadn't dated anyone because I wasn't attracted to guys. The truth is, I'm not "attracted" to anyone "like that" and when I tell them that, they think it's just as weird as being gay. It's not to the point where I'm crying about it or anything, but I'm sick of being judged just because I'm 16 and I've never had a boyfriend. People shouldn't have to feel pressured to snag a guy or a girl just so they feel accepted. I'm starting to think that the desire to be accepted is one of the reasons why "everyone else" is dating
    My story
    on Thursday, October 17, 2013 at 5:30 pm
    Hi... I am 23 and I am single, however, I have had 2 boyfriends. I feel bad for having those boyfriends because it was obviously not God's plan for my life, and it only left me with heartache. I pray God will really mend my heart. I'm still not over my last boyfriend, and really wish I had never had a boyfriend. Its been almost 2 years since he broke up with me and I still find myself crying. It all just made me realize its really not good to awaken love at the wrong time (which I obviously did). I didn't do anything physically, but I gave alot of my emotional self to these guys, and that is just as bad, and really hurtful... Those of you who have never had a boyfriend, I am so proud of you and admire people like you.

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