Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

*~bonde.chick~*
Re:
on Thursday, February 12, 2009 at 10:28 am
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i dont usually feel judged at my church...that is the one place i dont! i love going to church because everyone is so exepting. I am VERY greatful for that :)
Korrina
Re:
on Thursday, February 12, 2009 at 12:49 pm
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I can't say that I feel judged at church. its fitting in I struggle with. Have you ever been given the up-down look? its where a girl will check out what you are wearing from your head to your toes. I find this very annoying. after it happened to me a couple times, I promised myself I would never give anyone the "up-down" look. But at my church, some of the girls are very fashionable and I have a style all my own. But if I wear it to church, the girls will look at me like I am an alien! then I feel as if I have to fit in and can't be myself. I think that at church a girl should be able to be herself... I don't know maybe someone can help me collect my scattered thoughts.
God's Princess
Being Judged
on Friday, February 13, 2009 at 7:46 am
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I maybe am judged a little bit because I'm the pastor's kid. They all expect me to be "perfect" or something. But it's not really that bad. We have a really nice church. So I don't i'm judged that much either!
Delayne
Re:
on Friday, February 13, 2009 at 8:56 am
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I don't really feel like I am being judged I just feel like I am very different from the other teens in my church. We don't really understand each other. In a more general sense I do feel my church judges some people. I could understand why new members don't feel welcome especially since most of the time I don't even feel welcome and I have been going to the same church all my life. I have been praying about it and i am starting to think that I may need to try another church.
Laura
church
on Friday, February 13, 2009 at 9:58 am
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my church is actually pretty good about judging people. in fact at my church everyone is so nice that being judged isnt even thought about. but my church is big and i guess when there are soo many people u just dont get that judged feeling. i love my church. i have many friends in my middle school class and we all love to hang out. We dont judge. in fact, i have never even really heard about this judging issue until i read LYWB. crazy huh? i guess i am one of the lucky ones...
Steph
Re: Korrina
on Friday, February 13, 2009 at 12:16 pm
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Oh my word, Korrina, I literally know EXACTLY what you are talking about. Like, for example, I went into Hollister one time with sweats and a t-shirt on. And literally, the workers and the people shopping there looked at my from head to toe and gave me a digusted look. The "up-down" look - perfect name. And although I still find it disgusting that I cannot go into Hollister without wearing fashionable clothing (who cares?!), I HATE it when my Christian friends do this to me. Once I was going to hang out with some of my close friends, and I was wearing a sports sweatshirt and jeans. One friend gave me the "up-down" look and said, "Cute sweatshirt... but... the gray is a bit too dark for you." I looked at her and was like, "Um, I really don't care." I was disgusted! If I had asked her opinion at a store, that's one thing... but she made it seem like I needed to look extra good to hang out with my friends.
Sorry I am so long-winded.
So Korrina, I completely agree with you... it's so dumb to feel judged because of your clothing... the "up-down" look... especially from Christian friends.
I know a pretty conservative family... not reallllly conservative, but still, you know. So I was biking to their house with my mom and sister just to say hi and then keep going, and I was wearing a Jonas Brothers t-shirt. (Sue me. lol) And they looked me up and down like I was a piece of scum! And then kept talking. And here I am thinking.... great.

So yeah. I think that's a really good idea to decide never again to give the "updown" look to anyone else! I don't think I will either.
Grace
Judgement within the Youth Group
on Friday, February 13, 2009 at 1:32 pm
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My youth group can be very judgmental. If you do one thing, they talk about you. If you do the other, they look at you like you're from Mars.
Everybody works overtime making sure that they're doing what everyone wants them to do. It's really sad, I pray daily for my youth group, that they wouldn't judge others, and remind myself to ignore them and not be afraid of what they are saying.
Great post, it really encouraged me . =)
spongebob50295
Re:
on Friday, February 13, 2009 at 2:36 pm
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I dont feel judged at church
Abby
youth group.
on Friday, February 13, 2009 at 4:45 pm
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It's normal for people (especially girls) to feel judged. We always do, whether it be at school or even random places outside. even when half the time, it is, like you wrote, in our heads. But it's sad to think it even carries over to our churches/youth groups. We shouldn't feel pressured to dress a certain way or act a certain way just bc we're a little more under the microscope in church. In fact, we should feel 10x more comfortable in our churches & youthgroups bc we are surrounded by other believers!

but being judged is inevitable, it's just all about how YOU respond to it, and whether or not you allow it to bother you.
imnotperfect12
judge.
on Friday, February 13, 2009 at 5:00 pm
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I'm one of the pastor's daughters in my church and sometimes I feel extremely judged because I wear make-up a lot. It's not as much as girls in my church wear- but it's still make-up. And sometimes I feel like they all think it's all for guys. But really it's not! It's for how I feel about myself. Well, not to make me think I'm all that just to make my self esteem be in a better position. But now I think that it may just be in my head. I'm just afraid that they're judging me.
Korrina
this is awesome!
on Friday, February 13, 2009 at 5:01 pm
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It is SOoooooo cool to hear that other people struggle with what I'm going through!
karis
Being judged.
on Friday, February 13, 2009 at 8:29 pm
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I get the feeling that I'm being judged sometimes because I am a pastor's daughter..sometimes I feel like I have to act a certain way so that my dad won't look bad. I know that I don't have to be someone I'm not...But It's hard sometimes.
AJ
Re: Judgement within the youth group
on Friday, February 13, 2009 at 9:53 pm
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My youth pastor has actually tried to make our youth group a more welcoming place by helping us as high schoolers to talk in "open circles". We can stand in circles while we are talking to each other, but they have to have a gap for others to come and join. He says that this will help others feel more open to joining the group, but I have felt awkward enough trying to join a group of older kids when they are talking even with an open circle. To me, it doesn't even seem to help that much, and I still feel a bit excluded when I am with the older students in the high school. Maybe it's just me, but I feel a bit left out sometimes, if not judged....
Grace
Judging
on Saturday, February 14, 2009 at 3:06 am
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I have experienced both ways: the actual act of being judged, as well as the fear of being judged. The first one kind of fed the other, and it was hard to remove the fear after having experienced some of the harsh and critical words that some of the elders had said to me :(.But I feel that not only is God working on me in terms of not caring what other people think. If I do sin, God will work it out of me in time, and I need not care what others think. If they judge, the Bible says they will be judged, so they are sinning in their judging.
Regina
Grace
on Saturday, February 14, 2009 at 11:44 am
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yeah, continue praying for them and maybe you can rebuke them also. =)
Charli
Judged
on Saturday, February 14, 2009 at 3:06 pm
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Just by some of the girls in my youth group. Maybe it's because I don't wear sensual clothing or because I have a boy's name, but it still hurts alot. But I have an awsome pastor and parents who listen to me, so I pray for those girls.
amy
sorta
on Saturday, February 14, 2009 at 11:04 pm
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At my church there are some people that look at you like they are judging you, but mostly that is the only place where i dont feel like i am being judged. My church is awesome and i wouldnt leave it EVER!
Haley
Re:
on Sunday, February 15, 2009 at 5:13 pm
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Hm. I don't know about "judging" but I do feel uncomfortable sometimes around the youth at my church. (We just recently joined.) I mean, I feel perfectly fine around the younger kids and the adults but around my peers...hm... I get the feeling that people might assume I think I'm better than them just because I prefer not to get involved in all the things they do and conversations they have. I really like to sit with my family in worship (I love my family!) and I'm pretty reserved. I'm not the most fashionable person either, but I can guarantee modesty ;-D I just... don't want people to assume things about me. I TRULY want to develop wonderful, God-glorifying, edifying relationships with my peers. I don't know how to do that without separating myself from my family and getting involved in things I don't want to be involved in... hm...

I really got off subject! Sorry!! :-\

But..I feel like people are making conclusions about me & I wish they'd just try to get to know me; I really want to get to know them!! :-[
Haley
Re:
on Sunday, February 15, 2009 at 5:21 pm
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another note about judging

I believe that The LORD is the ultimate Judge, but He has given us His Word and His Holy Spirit to enable us to discern what is right and wrong. Now, He is NOT telling us to say, "Nobody's wrong! I can't judge you! Do w/e you want!" He's telling us that if we say (for example) "Hey, Haley, that music you're listening to isn't really God-glorifying" we need to be prepared to be judged by the same standard. If your friend is doing something truly wrong, you're not supposed to turn the other way. You just need to be prepared to stand before God and have Him judge you by the same standard. Remember, "take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." We're supposed to remove the plank from our brothers eye- BUT FIRST remove the plank from our own.
imnotperfect12
Re: Being Judged.
on Monday, February 16, 2009 at 10:38 am
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I know exactly how you feel! It is pretty hard sometimes. Especially since I get annoyed with people easily, I always have to make sure I'm being the best I can be. It's hard- but it's helping me change for the better.
erin
judges
on Monday, February 16, 2009 at 5:20 pm
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its hard not to judge. i know cause i judge people sometimes. God is the only judge who should judge except the ones in court. i have to pray a ton to help with my judgemental glances(this topic goes well with the song "if we are the body" by casting crowns) :D
Gods girl
being judged
on Monday, February 16, 2009 at 6:31 pm
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I really don't feel judged around people in my church but i do feel judged alot in other places. I have two friends who are really nice, Godly people but they are so perfect all the time I sometimes feel judged by them. I wouldn't say that I'm jealous of them exactly although they are really smart and cute and Godly. Is this just my jealousy or are they really judging me?? Whatever the answer, what do you all suggest I do? I always feel so embarresed and stupid around them!
Ashley
Ditto
on Monday, February 16, 2009 at 9:56 pm
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I think judgment is something that every teenage girl feels. We are all reading Erin's post and everyone's comments and thinking "Wow, she feels the same way I do!" As a musician I feel judged every time I put my bow to my violin strings. I get nervous and scared that I will mess up and everyone will see that I'm not a master at the violin. But that is an inevitable part of being a performer of any kind. But then those fears start to carry over into other parts of my life. I know before I ever pick up my violin that everyone listening knows I am not a master violinist, but still I am terrified of messing up. And the same is true for Christians. We all know, or I hope we all know, that the people in church know we are sinners, and they don't expect pefection from us, but we are all still terrified of them knowing, or thinking something about us that makes us less than perfect.
So really, I think the root of this lie that everone at church is judging me is a fear of being less than perfect. I know that in my life always find myself wishing I was perfect then feel depressed when I screw up. But the truth is that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) but the free gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ (Romans 6:23). Trust me, if you fill yourself with truth like knowing that God has forgiven your sins, you will feel less judgment. And satan loses, so it's a win no matter how you look at it! You have freedom from that fear and satan loses that foothold!
Sorry this is so long; I tend to have a lot to say. =)
Steph
Re:Haley
on Tuesday, February 17, 2009 at 7:27 am
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I know what you're saying. At the last church I went to, I chose to go to worship with my family rather than go to youth group (cuz they were at the same time). Because of this, it was hard to develop relationships with my peers at the church. But looking back on it now, I learned a lot more and got a lot more out of going to "big church" than the youth group. =)
DJVLN
Re:
on Tuesday, February 17, 2009 at 2:38 pm
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I feel judged because my dad is a higher authority in the church. He gives Bible studies and stuff. I feel like I have to live up to a certain standard and if I don't, I'm looked down on. Like a failure.
AJ
Ashley
on Tuesday, February 17, 2009 at 8:00 pm
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I really agree with you, there Ashley! You have some great words of wisdom to share! Thanks for posting. You really encouraged me, especially since I tend to be a perfectionist. Thank you for saying that, and you really spoke to my heart!
Rachel
Hmmm.
on Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 7:47 pm
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This is interesting, I haven't been steadily going to church each Sunday for several reasons for a couple years. I do know that a lot of girls do give the "up-down" look. Although it usually doesn't bother me and I just mind my own business. I am going to a new youth group this Sunday and I am a bit nervous!! There is going be between 30-40 teens there. I sure hope they won't judge me, I'm sure most won't, but the thought still lingers. Let me just say, don't let what other people think of you or if they judge you, don't let it bother you! It's only up to the Lord to judge and I'd be more worried about what he may think if what you're doing rather than other sinners. Besides, if you, your parents and the Lord would be okay with whatever it is you wear or do, then don't let other peoples own fashion opinions bother you! Everyone is different and that's what makes someone all the more special! :)
monica
wishpeoplewouldn'tspeculateaboutme
on Wednesday, February 18, 2009 at 11:18 pm
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I know exactly how you guys feel! People that I know from work or the friends of my brother(who is not a christian) speculate about me and i hate it. Like just because I wear a green camoflage jacket cause I just love that colour and always get attracted to it, they think I'm trying to be like the world. Or I have a little cowboy hat and boots hanging on my rearview mirror, they say it's not christian like. I don't mean to try to be worldly and the thing I love about cowboys is NOT honkytonks beer,etc. It's just that I've always been a loveroftheoutdoors and dreamed about living out in the nowheres and having my own horse and stuff. I took them down now but it frustrates me cuz why can't they talk to me about it so I can explain instead of talking about it behind my back so I hear it through the grapevine. I know it's just because I come from a large family and my parents are kind of strict, so they think I'm trying to break away and say I will be the one to go opposite of what I was grown up with. But it's not true because I do want to be a christian and my family doesn't take it that way either. THEY know my motivations. It's just makes me want to be really cool and not talk to that person next time. I better stop. this is getting endless. I love this blog cause I can write about things that bother me:) Thank you!!!
lizz
Do people in my church judge me?
on Thursday, February 19, 2009 at 12:10 pm
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Sometimes I feel like a select few in my church judge me. I know some do. You see I am homeschooled and have been scence I was in preschool and some people in my church don't agree with that.
Some of the other teens don't like that I am in advanced classes cuz "I know more then they do"

Another thing is my Pastors son in law, I know he judges me like crazy
Sarah
Re: Monica
on Thursday, February 19, 2009 at 3:55 pm
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Hey, I know how you feel! I think it's fine to like cowgirl/cowboy stuff and the way you dress and decorate is up to you (as long as its modest but the stuff you mentioned sounds fine!!!) Just try not to care what others think about your style and what you like.....what you wear and decorate with, tells the world who you are. I think that as long as your not disrespectful in any way then your fine!!!! congratulatons for being different.....for being who you want to be. I find it so refreshing to find someone who is different and doesn't care what the world thinks of them. Just be who God created you to be and enjoy it with out worrying about anyone elses opinion, Gods opinion is the only one that counts. I truly hope this helps!! Bless you Monica.
Tanya
To God's Girl
on Thursday, February 19, 2009 at 4:57 pm
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You remind me of someone I know. She feels the way you do around her friends but I have to encourage you to encourage yourself. Your friends should uplift you the same way you uplift them. Perhaps you should open up dialogue with the girls and let them know how you feel. But first you need to discern if it is really you or if they may be doing little things to belittle you because you may not be in their eyes as spiritually mature as they are. But if they are belittling you like laughing at things you say or how you feel then it stands to reason they aren't as spiritually mature as they think they are. Spiritual maturity is a growth process. Remember, God is no respecter of persons you all are the same to God. I pray that you remember this the next time you begin to feel inadequate around your friends.
Tanya
To God's Girl
on Friday, February 20, 2009 at 1:51 am
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You remind me of someone I know. She feels the way you do around her friends but I have to encourage you to encourage yourself. Your friends should uplift you the same way you uplift them. Perhaps you should open up dialogue with the girls and let them know how you feel. But first you need to discern if it is really you or if they may be doing little things to belittle you because you may not be in their eyes as spiritually mature as they are. But if they are belittling you like laughing at things you say or how you feel then it stands to reason they aren't as spiritually mature as they think they are. Spiritual maturity is a growth process. Remember, God is no respecter of persons you all are the same to God. I pray that you remember this the next time you begin to feel inadequate around your friends.
Belle
it depends on the church
on Friday, February 20, 2009 at 1:26 pm
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I used to go to a church where I felt really, really at home...and then I got injured there and my youth pastor turned his back on me, as did my entire youth group. I stopped going there and felt very alone. I felt like church wasn't a place for me. Thankfully I kept up my faith, and my faith grew from it because I realized tha my faith is separate from my church.
Sarah
reach out to others
on Friday, February 20, 2009 at 2:39 pm
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Although I am an adult now, this subject touches a tender spot in my heart. As a teenager I never felt that I fit in with my youthgroup. It was very hurtful to me, something that I never understood. I remember crying to my parents about it. I always thought that it was intentional, and I couldnt seem to look past myself. I was so angry at them for not accepting me! Unfortunately it has taken until now for me to see past it all. For years I was bitter. In fact, once I was old enough I quit going to church, because I thought all church was like that. Now that I have returned to church, I still feel those familiar pangs, even though the people are more than welcoming to me.

The truth is, we are accepted by Christ, and in that, nothing else should matter. He should be enough for us, but that does keep rejection from hurting. But keep in mind that everything that happens to us has to go across God's desk first. He may be training you up for a wonderful task. As he has with me. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would not be the christian I am today, if it had not been for what I went through as a teen.

And if you still feel unsure, become the welcoming committee. YOu are part of your church, you can make others feel the welcoming that you perhaps never felt. Just make sure God gets the glory!
KayceeD
Judgement
on Sunday, February 22, 2009 at 8:21 pm
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Although we all make judgements about each other. Your youth group should be a place not feel like your being judged and most of the time we are the ones who judge others and that makes us paranoid about others. I would just like to quote the bible verse Matthew 7:1 Do not judge others or you too will be judged. Maybe you could use this verse personally or even share it with your youth groups but it sure has helped me in this situation and my youth group is much closer since.
monica
re: sarah
on Tuesday, February 24, 2009 at 10:29 pm
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Thank you sooo much for cheering me up (though I didn't see it till almost a week later, since I've been sick). I think I'm just gonna try not to worry about what other people think so much. sure it will make me a lot happier person. Love ya

Cheers!
silent believer
hurtful judgement
on Tuesday, February 24, 2009 at 10:35 pm
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i sometimes feel like a couple of the older girls in my youth group judge me just because im not 'cool' or some thing like that. sometimes you see them maybe whispering and looking at you and you think, 'what did i do this time' but thats just putting your self confidence down. we are all born as sinners so sometimes we may not catch ourselves but i know how it feels to be judged and i wouldnt want someone else to feel that way. especially at youth group where there is supposed to be fellowship. it should be a place to worship God, not to talk about others in a negitive way.
Gods girl
Re: tanya
on Wednesday, February 25, 2009 at 2:49 pm
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Thank you tanya! This week I have really been trying to pray about this alot and actually God (I think) has been telling me that its my heart that I need to look at. I was looking at this book called "the power of a praying teen" and there's a chapter in there that talks about friends. It talks about 7 undesireable things your friend may have and 7 desireable things... At first i compared those things to them and they seemed to come out all good with all the desireable things and none of the undesireable things. I then compared those things to myself and realized that there were lots of things about me and my relationship with them that were indesireable. I really believe that its me who needs to examine myself and my relationship with them. Thank you for your comment.....and for listening to this loooong story.LOL!
teacup
my church
on Thursday, February 26, 2009 at 7:47 pm
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my church youth group is VERY clickie but none of us really have a choise because you hang out with the group you fit in and if you try to change groups or mingle you get shuned by your group and everyo one ealse. it can be very hard cause you are labled as a cookie-cutter image of all the people in your group. and at times my fierds do somthing anoing or bad and every one thinks me and all my other friens are the same. wee deal with a ton of judging in our youth group and me and my friends have desided to be open to every one and have been encourageing other groups to be open to but at times i find myself judging people by ther group just like they do me. i try very hard not to. please pray for me and my youth group that we can become more open to eachother.
kenna_12
Re:
on Thursday, February 26, 2009 at 9:51 pm
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Im allways being judged at church its geting on my nerve's, And when i get judged its by the paster's daughter. And im allways geting made fun of at church to.
rachell
feeling excluded
on Tuesday, March 3, 2009 at 12:43 am
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Honestly sometimes i question why i still go to my youth group. they can be pretty exclusive and alot of my friends are seniors (which alot of the kids my age (freshmen) think is weird). Even if i'm going to worship God i question whether it is worth be torchered by a bunch of people when i could just do my own Bible study at home. I have been seriously questioning whether i should just stay home and read on my own. it's difficult to decide sometimes. I feel sometimes as though i am a bit different and people seem to refuse to get to know me because i'm not "cool enough". seriously what do i do about this?
Erin Davis
rachell
on Tuesday, March 3, 2009 at 12:21 pm
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Rachell,

I am sorry that you are feeling excluded at youth group. But I would strongly encourage you not to stop going completely. We need fellowship with other believers. It's true that you can study the Bible on your own (and should do so!) but you still need to be a part of a church where you can interact with other believers.

Why don't you be the one to reach out. I bet you will find that the other girls are just as insecure about striking up a conversation as you are. I bet you will make some great friends by being the initiator instead of waiting for them to include you.

Erin
Kelsee
Do you ever feel like everyone is judging you at church?
on Sunday, March 8, 2009 at 5:08 pm
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I do sometimes cause i get coucious about what they are hearing inside there heads like why is she here or she dont belong stuff like that and i say to my self dont worry about what they are saying cause i know i am a gods child just like they are and when they look at me i just look back at them then turn away and hold my head up high.
Chels
church
on Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 9:42 pm
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Sometimes i do......but not as bad as it is at school!!!!!!!! At church i dont know what i would be getting judged about but for some reason i feel like i am.....mostly by the kids in my class...,..... Like what i wear or how i act
but its kinda like a judge that doesnt bother me
if that mad any sense at all :)
sports_chica2
judged much?;
on Saturday, April 18, 2009 at 9:33 pm
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well, what i think is that being judged at church is like being judged at school. it is the same amount of pressure that it is anywhere else. and i am not going to lie, you do get judged at church. especially, us youth women. Sometimes i hear murmurs of like: what in the world is she wearing? aren't those shoes like totally last week? the simple stuff like that is what makes being/wanting to be a christian even harder.
chloe
my church is VERY judgemental
on Saturday, May 23, 2009 at 1:01 pm
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my church has very strict laws about what u should where and what kind of boy u should or should not be dating. i think that actually it's maybe just the elders who do that. like last sunday i wore black nail polish to church and this elderly lady got all up in my case. okay so maybe pink or something would of been better but i'm SICK of it!
fishies
Re:
on Wednesday, July 22, 2009 at 3:10 pm
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I don't have that big of a problem of being judged but there is this one girl at school who always gives me that look that is hard to ignore. I always feel like i;m inferior
fishies
Re:
on Wednesday, July 22, 2009 at 3:12 pm
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I just forgot, be careful you're not the one judging others
just call me p.j.
Re:
on Monday, August 3, 2009 at 9:17 pm
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it might feel that way but the only person who can judge is GOD
cassidy
youth leaders
on Saturday, October 10, 2009 at 9:56 pm
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I feel like I am always being judged by my youth leader. I know she loves and I am pretty close to her. but I like cant really be myself around her. I am scared she will think of my badly!
ChristianDaugher
newby
on Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 8:15 pm
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My family and I have just gone to a new church...I love the church and I've made new friends. But when I meet someone new...I feel like EVERYTHING I say or do gets judged on who I am. I'm scared that if someone sees something that they don't like (I don't do anything bad) that they'll judge me forever on that one thing. I admit I'm very shy and don't want people to think that I'm a bad person. I feel like every sunday I get judged by what I talk about, or how I praise God, or even by how I dress (I don't dress immodestly)

How do I show people who I really am...without the fear of being judged??
Erin Davis
Christian Daughter
on Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 8:43 am
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It sounds like what you are experiencing is just a feeling, not based in fact. This is often the case when we feel like we are being judged. Realizing that you are not actually being judged and living that way is so important.

2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

You need to take captive every thought in this area. Make the conscience choice not to dwell on the lie that everyone is judging you. When you start to feel that way, quote scripture or spend some time with a friend who you know adores you.

Erin
Randa
Rachell
on Thursday, April 15, 2010 at 9:24 am
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Rachell, I recently went through something very much like that and still am. Our youthgroup had trouble with cliques and I stopped going for a couple of weeks. It wasnt the right thing to do. It wasnt like i stopped going to church just my teen class, but then I realized that wasnt right and i was hurting myself more than anyone else. I decided to talk to my youthpastor about the situation. Maybe that will help you
sombody
juged:me
on Tuesday, July 26, 2011 at 11:38 am
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Ok so i try fitting in with the girls at my church but it just dosnt work.there is only one friend/girl my age and nobody likes her because they think shes ugly.then thrers another girl i talk to somtimes but shel ditch me if the popular kids want to talk with her.at one point (when my friend wasnt there) the popular girls talked to me then now when i try talking with them they try to ignor me and then giggle to eachother.I mean so what if im a couple years younger! but they obviously dont agree with that consept.So then im lonly,like sometimes in church gatherings ill lock myself in my car caus if the popular girls see me talking to my friend theyle just hate me more.And my mom totally does not understand---she sias its my fault for not talking to them but the truth is i have, so then they kind of like me but then stab me in the back.im sick of being jujed, im sick of me,im sick of lonliness,please help,---sombody.
Lorree, with the LYWB team
re: Sombody
on Wednesday, July 27, 2011 at 4:58 pm
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Although it is difficult, God tells us to overcome evil with good (Rom. 12:9-21). We are also to love others as He has loved us (Jn. 15:12). Because the other girls in your youth group are not reaching out to you, doesn’t mean you should fall into sin. This may not be easy, friend, but God will help you to do the right thing. Our enemy seeks to isolate us and devour us (1 Pet. 5:8). Please, don’t give in and give Satan the victory in this situation.

I encourage you to continue to be a friend to the one girl that is your age. She is probably feeling very isolated and lonely, too. You can encourage each other in the Word and can look for ways to bless the other girls in your group. Our value is not based in how we look or in how others respond to us. Our value is found in who we are in Christ. He loves you, friend, just the way you are. He created you and watches over everything that goes on in your life. You are His adopted daughter – a child of the King – a princess.

I’ve prayed for you friend! I’ve asked the Lord to comfort you in your pain and to give you the desire to do the hard thing and to hang in there in spite of your feelings of being judged. I’ve asked Him to show you and your friend how to cultivate a friendship that is based on God and His Word and that will draw others in rather than push them away. I’ve asked God to pour out His grace on your life right now (2 Cor. 12:9-10). Stand strong, friend! God is right there with you!

Lorree
Heather
two way street
on Tuesday, July 10, 2012 at 2:19 pm
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There are so many aspects of life that are two sided: forgiveness, judgment, love - the majority of the important things. One person shows (or doesn't show) it while the second person perceives or feels it. The whole idea of judgment is determining if something is right or wrong. The type of judgment we're referring to in this article is a wrong, self-righteous judgment that stems from preferences, not anything that is harming another person. Most people at church would not admit to wrongfully judging at church, but if the other person senses a condemning look or words, then they are feeling judged. The bottom line is we should never give anyone a reason to feel judged at church. They should feel Christ's love as hard as it is to develop that balance of truth and mercy.