Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

Rachel(:
re:
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 1:14 am
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It's so encouraging to see that others care about modesty, even at the pool side! One resource that has helped me incredibly is the modesty survey (by the Harris twins). After reading some of the guys comments I decided that I'll be wearing my soccer shorts in the pool. I want the guys around me to feel comfortable being around me. No distractions or any of that. I've honestly had to remind myself that it's not about me and who's looking at me. I want others to see Christ in me first before seeing anything else(:
Dance Among the Ruins
Re:
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 1:19 am
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This is a very well-timed post. I was shocked when a youth camp particularly requested girls wear modest swimsuits and one girl was told her bikini was modest because it covered about an inch more skin than some of the other-girl's swimsuits. Too often girls compromise when it comes to swimwear, using the excuse that all swimwear is just going to be immodest to anyone with high standards, and that it's "just swimming". But that's not necessarily true, there are plenty of cute, fun, MODEST swimsuits if you look hard enough. Try looking at some older styles, swimsuits for the most part have gotten less modest as time wore on. I found a high-necked, high-backed one piece that was modest when wet, with a sewn- in, past mid-calf skirt that was actually part of the suit.

Oh, and a word of advice, for swimsuits, shape DOES matter, sorry. My sister and I are very different in shape, although we are relatively the same in size, and I can wear things she can't because it fits me differently. So although online shopping is wonderful, you really need to be able to try it on.

And one more thing, (sorry, but from experience, this is an important issue). Even swimsuits with a modest front are prone to show (ahem) a LOT more than a shirt with the same style would because the wet fabric droops more when you bend over or stoop down. And so, I try to wear a modest, slightly smaller than I normally would wear, dark-colored tanktop underneath the swimsuit to prevent that from happening. It really helps.

And for cover-ups, a t-shirt is great, but it does have a tendency to look wierd if your swimsuit isn't long enough, so shorts are important, or I wear a cute short skirt over it, it's a bit easier than shorts if your swimsuit has frilly pieces or a skirt-thing at the hem.
Em
Re:
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 7:34 am
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I had a modest swimsuit (a rash guard with fingertip shorts) until I did something unhealthy and now I have to wear these really long black boy swiming trunks. And I don't go swiming because they are black and the rash guard I have don't match. So if you guys here could pray that I would "buck up" from my choices and not be so ashamed to go swiming. I mean I know that sounds sooo dumb but I am also fat and with that it makes me feel soo self conciseness.
Bec
Re:
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 7:56 am
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@Em - I think swimming suits in general makes everybody feel self conscious whether they like it or not, so you're not alone!

I need to find a swim suit for this summer, and I think I am probably going to go with a tankini top with some swim shorts I bought. Kohls is a good place to look for tankini tops, as well as Old Navy and the like.

Happy shopping!
Mattea
shop till you drop :)
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 8:26 am
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I noticed that Kohl's has more modest options ...especially on their online site. We have to remember the men in our life every time we shop for ANY kind of clothing :)
abbyheart
:( church camp
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 8:36 am
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So, I have a great modest tankini that I love. It is straight cut on top, so no plunge in the back or front, and some shorts. Then church camp rolls in... "NO TWO PIECE BATHING SUITS" I had to buy a one piece for camp. It comes a little lower in the front than I like, so I am working on changing the straps from halter to front-to-back so it will hold the back and front up a bit. I hope that soon church camps will get a chance to see the beauty of belly covering two pieces, because they make it easier to cover a whole lot more!
Here is a website that sells super modest suit pieces that really are cute! (look for the black dress over pink or blue)

http://modestswimwear4u.com/swimwear/newourlatestcollection
Mel
Re:
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 11:03 am
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I used to spend the beginning of every summer shopping for swimsuit, unsuccessfully I might add as I always had to settle for something ugly. The biggest problem was that I go tubing in the summer and although I found a swimsuit that covered everything, I didn't realize how easily if shifted while tubing. Finally one of my friends suggested buying a swimsuit, bikini or halter top, and just wearing a tank top and shorts over it all the time. This has been the most modest way of dressing that I've found, and cheapest too.Now a majority of my youth group does this to stay modest on youth retreats. Maybe this option doesn't seem very fashionable to some people, but it's comfortable and modest, which are the most important for me.
Julia
Re:
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 11:12 am
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Here is what my ex-Mennonite girl friends do:
Modest, supportive, plain bikini and on top of that a good, cute/cool, Roxy swim shirt and matching board shorts that go mid-thigh.
That is it... and guess what, we have sooooooo much fun!!! (With all the guys I might add). :D
In His Grip,
Julia
Hannah
Modest swimsuit store!
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 11:14 am
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Thanks so much for this post Erin! I have struggled in the past with finding modest swimsuits...it's so hard! A few years ago, my mom and I found this online swimwear shop that has awesome modest swimsuits! It is a little pricey, but it's definitely worth it. Just wanted to share it with you guys!
www.limericki.com
Vic
Re: abbyheart
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 12:41 pm
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I know what you mean. Sometimes the rules mat seem funny to us. Maybe they don't even want to risk the two piece option? They could just be wanting to avoid that altogether for sake of further compromise. This one family camp I go to asks everyone to wear shirts when swimming. That way they don't have to worry about the two piece, one piece issue. (I know shirts can cling and be form fitting, but that isn't the point) :) Even the guys wear one. Hope this helps!
In Christ,
Vic <3
"Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world,"
~ Philippians 2:14-15
Anna
Church camp
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 1:06 pm
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abbyheart, we have the same rules at our church camp as well. I just bought a one-piece for camp too but it is cute and modest so I can wear it other times too. I really like tankinis though.
It's so hard to shop for swimsuits these days, though I noticed that it's getting a little better, it's not all bikinis anymore. I used to get quite a few of my swimsuits from garage sales because there were no swimsuits I could buy in the stores. At least I can walk into a store and actually find one pieces again.
I love Dannah Gresh!!! Her stuff is awesome!
Bridget Beam
Swimsuits
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 2:58 pm
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Lands End.com has the best selection of modest swimsuits that I have found and they usually have a large clearance section. My daughter loves the rash gaurds and swim shorts because they are modest and cute at the same time. They are great for heavy activity in the water. We budget for this every year
Jade
Swimsuit shopping= Frustration
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 3:06 pm
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Gahh. I hate shopping for swimsuits. You wouldn't believe how many times I find this nice, cute one piece, and then when I go try it on it's way too low in the front, or shows way too much leg. Even one pieces can be too much sometimes.
That's why I found the solution to it. I bought this nice simple one piece and took a pair of boy shorts from a two piece and bingo! Done! Sometimes you gotta outsmart the world, ladies ;).
Nichole N.
Em
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 3:09 pm
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Em,
I want to take some time to encourage you. Here are some encouraging Bible verses that have helped me when i feel self concious about myyself.....even though i am not over weight my best friend is (i hope that didnt and doesnt sound rude or horable) You are beautiful in Gods eyes no matter what please never forget that. I am also sure that your family and friends love you......they love you for who you are.


Philippians 4:13
Jeremiah 31:3
1 John 3:1
Luke 12:6-7
Zechariah 2:8
Psalm 17:8
Ps. 127:2
Eph. 5:1
2 Cor. 7:1
1 Peter 3:3
2 Corinthians 4:16-18

You are his precious Jewl. He loves you for who you are and not what you look like. You are a special young lady in His eyes!!! I hope this has encouraged you! I will be keeping you in my prayers! God Bless!!! :)

Nichole N.
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Re: Em
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 3:14 pm
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“Lord, would you help my friend fix her eyes on you today. Would you help her walk in humility, repentance and grace as she remembers that you paid the price for all our wrong choices. Thank you that you remove even the guilt of our past sin and failures (Ps. 32:5). May others see Jesus in Em today as her heart and mind are filled with the truth of who You are as her Heavenly Father and who she is as your daughter.
Em
@carrie and Nichole N.
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 5:18 pm
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Thanks! I just wish I could see past my choices.... And how much I wish I could erase the October and november. And it just a reminder when I think about how I can't wear my pink shorts anymore.... And the really sad part is is that when I think about having to wear my black shorts is that it triggers me and then I want to do it again.
Thanks Nicole for the verses I am going to look those up.
Thanks for taking the time to make replys.
Misty
Wholesome Swimwear!
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 5:47 pm
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I love my swimsuits from wholesomewear.com

They are cute and keep me covered. :-)
Christen
Em
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 8:08 pm
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I also have a swimshirt and shorts that dont really match. Whenever I feel self-conscious about it I just kinda remind myself, "hey, what do I care if they don't like it?" that might sound a little rude, but really tho, they're just some person who glimpsed my clothes and decided they didnt like it. I doubt anyone would really dwell forever on what this random girl was wearing. I read once, "no one thinks about you as much as you do". That's been a helpful thing for me to remember.
Yeah, so, I guess just don't worry about how your shirt and shorts dont match. You're not the only one not matching- I don't match either ;)
I'll pray for you- I know what it's like to be oppressed by guilt and shame. I was formerly addicted to something disgusting and lewd, so I'm familiar with the ache of shame.
Don't be distressed, dear. Your heavenly father is more powerful than any sin endeavoring to bind itself to you. Stick close to him. Shall "He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" -Romans 8:32.
God can use your sin. One of my teachers at school illustrated this with the story of the the prophet Jonah. Jonah was sent to Nineveh, a place whose people worshiped this pasty, bald looking god. All the acids and things in the belly of the whale made Jonah look pasty and bald. So when Jonah arrived at Nineveh, the people sure listened to him! He looked like their own god! The people of Nineveh received Jonah's words and repented, and "when God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he relented and did not bring on them the destruction he had threatened." (Jonah 3:10). God was able to take the consequences of Jonah's awful sin and use them for good- to save hundreds of people! God is creative! He can take your sin too, and use it to build up his church for his people's good and for your good.
Rejoice, my friend! Our Father has your life all planned out! "Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them." -Ps 139:16
God bless you, dear!
Love,
Christen
anon
Re:
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 9:23 pm
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Hey I know this is off topic, but still about modesty;) ok, so Im looking for a dress to wear to a couple wedding I have to go to this summer and Im having a really hard time. I found one dress, but it goes just above my knee. Just wandering, what are your guidelines for dress shopping? Some people say Im too worried about it, and I know most girls in my church have no problems wearing skirts that come above their knee or are bare shoulder and top area as long as theres a strap. I guess I dont see why a strap is gonna make the big difference, especially as Ive heard that guy find shoulders very sexy, so I dont know...
Em
@Christen
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 9:34 pm
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Thanks! I do need to remember that and just get over it. I think I am realizing it goes past matching to the point of its totally my fault for having to wear these shorts and yeah I think I am ashamed for doing something that stupid and having to face the counseqeneces.

I have been told God can take what I did and turn it into something good. So maybe it will happen.
Thanks
Em
Autie
Modest swimsuit options
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 9:58 pm
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I've found LandsEnd.com to have amazing options for modest tankini and one-piece swimsuits. Of course they have their deep V-necks as well, but over half of them are great hi-cut necklines and swim skirts with bottoms sewn in. Worth checking out if you're looking! They have great sales, too.
Jessica
Did you know?
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 10:17 pm
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Posts about Modesty always intrigue me. I wonder where these ideas about covering our bodies to be modest come from? It's a very old idea that doesn't have much effect on actual modest behaviour, if you look at the research.
Did you know that Nudist colonies have the lowest rates of sexual immorality out there? Where people just let everything be uncovered and men see women's breasts as part of everyday life - THAT'S where we experience the lowest levels of sexual immorality.
Tummies, hips and plunging necklines actually have no correlation to ACTUAL sexual behaviour. BUT our society, for some reason, sees women who dress that way to be more sexually immoral than someone in pants and a turtleneck.
It's a valid point, then, that dressing modestly is not about what's on the inside, but about what you want others to think about you. And when you are making choices to please others, or because others are pressuring you to do so, I feel that is a kind of oppression. I think all this "modesty" talk about our clothes is actually oppressing women in our society - it certainly isn't helping sexual immorality rates!!
Did you know that back in Jesus' time a woman might nurse her child in public, with her breast completely uncovered, and that was completely acceptable.
Now, just for feeding my baby in the same way JESUS was fed, I was called a slut in my own church. These ideas of modesty are ridiculous.
When I was a teenage girl I liked wearing the flashy clothes, cleavage, tummy tops - they made me feel free and happy. I was not a sexually immoral teenager. Actually, I was completely innocent until a woman at my church pulled me aside and shamed me for what I was wearing. I had a lot of friends who were boys, and they worried that I was sleeping with all of them. Those judgements hurt me more than I could ever say, especially when I knew of two other girls who dressed appropriately for the adults but in private were going against everything we pledged together in youth group.
It's cruel, I think, to label teen girls by how they dress. To suggest that one might be guilty of wonton behaviour just for wearing a tube top.
I really disagree with this article. Girls, if you would like to wear a Bikini to the beach, you go right ahead! God made your body and it is beautiful, not something you need to cover up and keep hidden for fear of inflaming some dude's loins.
K
swimwearplace.com
on Friday, June 8, 2012 at 3:23 am
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I recommend checking this website for ideas for modest swimwear
K
Note
on Friday, June 8, 2012 at 6:27 am
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Note, not all the swimwear is modest but checkout some of the swim dresses.
valerie novak
modesty
on Friday, June 8, 2012 at 11:34 am
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Jessica, you won't provoke anyone to lustful thoughts in the privacy of your room. If you flash your flesh in public, people are going to wonder why. As part of the "bra-burning" generation forty years ago, I went back to wearing bras because of the lustful actions of men (and scorn from women) towards me when I didn't. I didn't want to be treated that way, since it limited my effectiveness in what I was trying to do.
Alaina
@Misty
on Friday, June 8, 2012 at 12:42 pm
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Hey Misty! I have a quick question for you. I was seriously considering getting a wholesomewear swimsuit this year,( but went with a swimmodest one for this summer) and I noticed in the outline that it snaps between the legs underneath. I decided against it for now, because I thought it might continually unsnap and things. Does it cause you any problems with that????
Thanks!
Alaina
Alaina
@ Jessica
on Friday, June 8, 2012 at 1:13 pm
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Jessica, wow, there are alot of problems with what you said. Yes God did make our bodies, and yes they are very beautifull! God also said in the Bible to keep our nakedness coverd. It is very importante to dress modestly especially around guys. Guys have deep deep desires that are very easily tempted when girls dress imodestly. Showing cleavage and your stomach and barely wearing anything over your buttox will tempt almost every man that sees you in this atire. My mother and father are very happily married, and God has blessed them greatly in their marriage. Girls and women dressing imodestly will cause immoral thoughts in even happily men! I believe that if I ever knew I was causing a man to think immoral thoughts about me, because of the way I dressed, I would be deeply ashamed, especially if he was married. When you dress in nothing but underwear and parrade around in public, it is going directly against what God has said, and that is to keep our bodies coverd, and save our nakedness for our husband and for him alone. I swim alot! and our cousins swim with us. My one cousin is almost exactly the same age as I (15) and we have always been very close. We all go swimming at the public pool, close to our houses. Many girls and women run around in their "underwear" and let me tell ya, I get angry when I see him look at their bodies. I also have a little brother who is 9 years old. He is just getting to a stage where girls aren't yucky anymore. It makes me furrious when I see him staring at girls who are showing everything. I don't get mad at my cousin or brother, but at the girls and women who so oppenly show themselves, and put my brother, and cousin (who is like the older brother i never had) in a situation of longing for something sinfull. Some people in my family would say that I probably take modesty a little too seriously, because I wear skirts to the knee at least and never show any chest, but It's better to be overly cautious than not cautious enough. Modesty is very very importante for our testimonies and for the sake of all th men around us. I do also understand what you mean about the girls that are outwardly modest, but doing very wrong things in secret. That is not for us to compare with. God says compare not yourselves among yourselves. We need to think is this something I would wear if Jesus were standing right here with me at the pool, or would I want to go put something on to cover up. Always think of your testimony to others. God says that he bless us when we act like He wants us to. If an older woman took me aside and told me that I was dressing immodestly, I would be so ashamed of myself for wearing anything that would make her think that. Older woman of the church are indeed very wise women who know way more than we. God says in His word for the older to instruct the younger in the ways of righteousness, and I believe that we need to respect what they say, and make sure we are righteous before God, and modest before man.
In Him,
Alaina
Angie
Modest Swimware
on Friday, June 8, 2012 at 3:06 pm
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This is a great post and I so hear you about the modesty issue. My daughter is only 6 and this has not been an issue yet. There are some options out there though. Have you seen these?
http://www.swimmodest.com/
Also if you google Modest Swimware there are some other options as well.
Thanks ROH I heart your Ministry!!!
EmilyJ
Re:
on Friday, June 8, 2012 at 4:41 pm
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It seems selfish to me to go on wearing a bikini in front of guys even when you know how it is for them. They're just trying to fight they're battle for purity for Christ (the right ones that is)! And walking around with your body practically bare is NOT helping them!
How would you feel if you were just trying to walk in your faith but then somebody did something to make it way more diffacult for YOU? And they KNEW what they were doing!?
It's an act of a friend to strive to be modest!
I'm (and I'm sure lots of others arn't) not trying to label girls my age by what they wear. But it just seems like when you know how hard it is for the guys to see you like that, it would be a disservice and a disrespect to them and Christ to ignore it.
I hope this made sense and that I didn't offend anybody. But thats what I think.
C
@Alaina
on Friday, June 8, 2012 at 8:21 pm
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I read what you wrote to Jessica and I really liked it... that one line:

"We need to think is this something I would wear if Jesus were standing right here with me at the pool, or would I want to go put something on to cover up."

...I'm actually, in a way, hoping will stay with me... I've been trying to just shove these recent posts away, thinking "This is annoying" but, really, I need to stop shoving away things of the Lord and really think about what I am doing... I've been drifting from God, it seems, lately and I am going to a public pool for the first time this summer tomorrow. I have a two piece I was going to wear (a tankini) and it's really cute but it shows cleavage in the front. I was just thinking, ya know, whatever, but then I read what you said and... sigh. Would I really want to wear something like that if Jesus was physically standing there next to me? Would I really want to wear that in front of Jesus in a place where there are teenage guys and married men and guys of whatever age in a relationship or even single, when in God's Word it says to not be a stumbling block for others?? I don't think so. Sigh. So I'm thinking I'm going to wear a one piece to the pool tomorrow, then I'll have to work on finding a more modest two piece to wear. Please pray for me to not chicken out on my swimsuit choice tomorrow!

I'm going to have to start applying that concept to more areas of my life, the "if Jesus was physically standing here" concept. Thanks so much for all you said. I can tell you have a good heart. We are the same age and you have inspired me with your desire to please the Lord and be modest... if you could pray for God to help shape my intentions to line up with scripture, not just with modesty but with every area of life, I would greatly appreciate it. And please pray for me to not drift away from Him but instead drift back to Him + grow closer to Him. Thanks for inspiring me. :)

xoxo C
Christen
Sportswear works too
on Friday, June 8, 2012 at 8:41 pm
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Lots of sportswear can also double as swimwear. Like I have this really cute, sort of like a peasant shirt style but sporty, that I use instead of a rash guard. And then I use a small pair of sports shorts (not the baggy boy's kind) as swim shorts. The materials are really similar to swim material, so it works pretty well for swimming.

C-I'll pray for you. God will sustain you and give you the grace to follow his lead. "If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you." -Romans 8:11

K- that swimwearplace site is awesome. I just checked it out. Those swimdresses are soooo cute!!! Thanks for telling us about it!!!

Have effective and fun shopping everyone!!! Persevere in finding the modest suits :D!!!!! God bless your efforts to honor Him!!!
Christina
Modesty is Always the Best Policy
on Friday, June 8, 2012 at 10:29 pm
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So, i went shopping to get my new swimsuit. I got a modest swimsuit, that i'm happy about, because i love modesty! I got a pink and black one. It is one piece, it does not have high cut hips. It is not low in the front, or in the back. And to go on top of it i got a jacket that goes to my knees and zips up:)
Alaina
@C
on Saturday, June 9, 2012 at 9:19 am
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C, I will defenitly be praying for you. To tell you the truth I have just recently been working on my own self, as God has grabbed my heart and shown me that I need to be modest and set apart. Yes, the what would Jesus think part, is defenitly starting to control my decisions. And thats cool that we are the same age~! ! :)
Kaitlyn
With a little bit of sewing...
on Sunday, June 10, 2012 at 8:56 am
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I have some family friends who really care about modesty. They purchased a suit for one of their daughters, and it fit well everywhere except the top. They then purchased swimsuit fabric and had this fabric sewn into the top. You can't even tell that it was adjusted in this way, and it is much more modest.
Marci Rapp - MarSea Modest Swimwear
MODEST SWIMWEAR
on Sunday, June 10, 2012 at 1:22 pm
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We manufacture modest swimwear for ladies and girls. Please visit our website www.marseamodest.com to see our many choices and contact us for more information.
Katie Bea
Simply Modest Swimmwear
on Monday, June 11, 2012 at 3:00 am
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A few years ago my Mom found this website and that's what we've been doing ever since. Never been happier with a swimsuit! www.simply-modest.com
Lorree, with the LYWB team
Anon
on Monday, June 11, 2012 at 5:31 pm
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I so appreciate your heart for modesty and your desire to do all you can to protect the eyes of the men around you! There’s no hard and fast rules for modesty, friend! I wish there were – sure would make it easier, wouldn’t it! Erin wrote a blog with some guidelines that might help you. You will find it here: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=101. Bare shoulders can be covered with very classy looking shrugs to provide additional coverage.

I’m praying that the Lord will give you peace about the dress you purchase. If you don’t have peace from Him about the dress you are considering (after all, we dress to glorify Him), then you shouldn’t buy it.
Carrie, with the LYWB team
@Em
on Monday, June 11, 2012 at 7:57 pm
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Nancy DeMoss says, “Feeling sad that you’ve done something wrong isn’t the same as repentance.” I encourage you to listen to Nancy’s messages this week, Em (http://tinyurl.com/cab83bn).


I’m praying tonight that you will see your past choices as God sees them and move toward Him in brokenness and repentance. There’s incredible freedom and joy awaiting you at the foot of the cross, my friend.
anon
to Lorree
on Monday, June 11, 2012 at 9:05 pm
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awesome thanks for the input :) really appreciate this blog, i love that not only is it encouraging but also challenging. Its so easy to fall back and conform, but this blog has kept me in line and reminded me about things that I know but just forgot sometimes. Love Monica
Hannah
Bikinis
on Monday, June 11, 2012 at 10:57 pm
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Today, I had an all-girl church event where everyone including the leaders were wearing bikinis because we were all girls, but when there are guys, we will cover up more. Does anybody else think this is a good solution?
Lydia
@ Hannah
on Tuesday, June 12, 2012 at 10:53 am
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I think that's a really good solution, because the reason many teenage girls wear bikinis is to attract guys. But your only with your girlfriends, and you cover up around the boys, so I definitively think that's a really good solution.
Lorree, with the LYWB team
Hannah
on Tuesday, June 12, 2012 at 2:38 pm
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Hannah that is one possible way of handling the situation. As long as only girls are there you are good, but what if a man popped in unexpectedly. You’d all be running for “cover”. Purity begins with a pure heart. Is it really a pure heart that wears something just because it is safe for the moment? Would a better solution be to limit yourselves to more modest suits and not having to worry about where your cover is? Praying that God will lead you in the way He wants you to go.
Lorree, with the LYWB team
Jessica
on Tuesday, June 12, 2012 at 2:40 pm
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Jessica, your question about modesty and why we wear clothing was addressed in today’s True Woman blog (http://www.truewoman.com/?id=2105). I thought you might be interested in hearing what Nancy has to say about this. I’m praying for you, Jessica, and asking God to help you to be able to view this through His eyes.

In The Look: Does God Really Care What I Wear? Nancy Leigh DeMoss transports us all the way back to the Garden of Eden for the skinny on why we even bother to cover up:

When God made the first man and woman, He made them without clothes: “The man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed” (Gen. 2:25).

Before Adam and Eve sinned, there was no clothing . . . and there was no shame or guilt. That’s because Adam and Eve were sinless. There were no barriers in their relationship with God or with each other.
That all changed when Adam and Eve decided to “have it their way.” The moment they ate the forbidden fruit, they experienced shame and self-consciousness: “Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked” (Gen. 3:7).

For the first time in their lives, they experienced the shame and guilt that are the fruit of sin. From this point on in the Bible, nakedness (outside of marriage) is referred to as shameful.

Adam and Eve immediately tried to come up with a way to cover their nakedness and shame. They didn’t ask God’s advice about how to dress. Instead, they came up with their own plan—they sewed fig leaves together to cover their private parts. (Did you know that fig leaves have the consistency of heavy sandpaper? Those first clothes must have been really uncomfortable!) They quickly realized that the fig leaves could not adequately solve their problem, so they hid themselves.

Mercifully, God didn’t let them stay hidden; He took the initiative to restore the fellowship that had been broken. “But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” (Gen. 3:9).
Notice who first brought up the issue of Adam’s lack of clothing. It wasn’t God. It was Adam! In fact, his first words to God after the Fall were: “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself” (Gen. 3:10).

God’s response demonstrates that He didn’t consider their nakedness the primary issue: “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat? (Gen. 3:11).
Adam and Eve’s primary concern was their nakedness; God’s primary concern was that they had disobeyed His word and that their relationship with Him had been broken. They were concerned about their external appearance; God was concerned about their hearts.

In fact, initially God didn’t even address the issue of their nakedness. First, He dealt with them about the root issue of their sin and its consequences; He dealt with the broken relationship; He gave them the Gospel (Gen. 3:15)—the promise of a solution for their sin. Then, God came back to the matter of their clothes. With loving concern and grace, God dressed the first couple.

God didn’t overlook the problem of their nakedness or act like it didn’t matter. But neither was it the first thing He addressed.
When He finally got to the clothing issue, He said to Adam and Eve in effect, “Here’s My provision for your nakedness. Your way just won’t work. You need to do it My way!” Notice that Adam and Eve’s idea of clothing (fig leaves) and God’s idea of clothing (garments of skin) were very different.

Genesis 3:7 says, “They sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.” That word in the original language could be translated “aprons” or “belts (for the waist).”

By contrast, the “garments” that God made for Adam and Eve (Gen. 3:21) were “tunics” or “coats.” Various Bible dictionaries agree that this term refers to an article of clothing that covers the body at least from the neck to the knees.

This observation helps us understand that the God-created purpose for clothing was to cover the body.

(taken from The Look: Does God Really Care What I Wear? by Nancy Leigh DeMoss)
Kayla
Just a helpful tip
on Tuesday, June 12, 2012 at 10:35 pm
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Hey girls, I know how frustrating and how very time consuming shopping for a modest bathing suit at a regular store can be. I just wanted to mention that there are MANY websites that offer modest swimwear. From board shorts and swim shirts, to cute AND modest swim dresses. I bought a swim dress from http://www.becomingswimdress.com/ and have really enjoyed it. It is the type of thing that you can wear all day at the water park or at the beach because it is more modest than some cover-ups. It was a little more expensive than a regular swimsuit, but for the modesty and everything, it was so worth it! I just wanted to let you girls know that while there are few choices in stores, there are TONS of choices online if you are willing to spend the time to search it out and spend a little more money. Just search modest swimwear on Google and check the websites until you find what you want. If you want a simple one piece that the leg holes don't go to your hips and the top is relatively high, you can get a Speedo conservative lap suit. It's a great cut and I have enjoyed that swimsuit as well. Good luck!
Kim
@anon (dress guidelines)
on Wednesday, June 13, 2012 at 2:26 pm
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Hi anon,

So I'm a sucker for dresses! (I just bought 3 new ones last night). I wear a dress at least once a week, and I absoluetly love summer time and summer dresses, but I also am very aware of modesty when it comes to dresses.

I personally am alright buying a dress that goes above my knees, because on my body it looks modest since I do have shorter legs. A few things I always check though before buying a dress:

1.) sit down in it- sometimes even the longest dress can ride up a lot when you sit and thats no good. Since you're going to a wedding, sitting down is important, it sounds so simple but sometimes people forget this.

2.) Twirl and spin :) I'm on the go a lot, so I want to make sure no matter what action I'm doing, whether I'm dancing or running around the office, that I'm always not showing more skin than I should.

3.) Bend over, this is to check cleavage AND the skirt side.

4.) and lastly, I ask mayself if it's cute or sexy. sometimes you fall in love with the fit of the dress because it looks good on you, but there are two veryyyy different kinds of "good"

Shoulders are a little different: I have very defined and uh "sexy" shoulders (they very much draw attention), so I try to not flaunt them in whatever I'm wearing, but it also depends on the girl. My sister's shoulder's never draw attention to themselves, so she doesn't necesarily have to cover them up so much.

Another thing if you aren't confident in your judgement about dresses: Bring a girlfriend to come judge in case you are unsure!

Mainly, have your heart in the right place. I know everyone has different guidelines for dresses/other clothes, but to be honest everyone has a different body shape. Some thing might look really innoncent on one girl, and then look immodest on another. So there is never going to be a set number of rules to follow. I'd suggest only one: have your heart in the right place!

Since you are concerned about this already, I already think you have your heart where God wants it :)

and dresses are so much fun :) so enjoy your shopping experience, and try to find peace with whatever you choose to get.
Kathy
Swimwear
on Wednesday, June 13, 2012 at 4:22 pm
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Thank you so much this rlly helped me while picking a modest swimsuit. I am glad to hear other girls think the same way I do!! XD
Jessica
Hi again!
on Wednesday, June 13, 2012 at 7:12 pm
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Hi again girls,
I just wanted to respond in general to a lot of the people who responded to me. Especially about if I would wear it with Jesus. I can definitively say that YES I would stand beside Jesus in a Bikini. "Nakedness" is so vague, and just because God gave Adam and Eve clothes that covered from neck to ankles doesn't mean that's what he wished us to wear at all times. Many of the verses you gave me could be interpreted differently, but you're coming at them with the puritan ideals that came forth in the Victorian era.
Woman are not sex objects, but as we started to study and explore sexuality a couple thousand years ago we slowly started labelling women's body parts as attractive.
Men are actually perfectly capable of controlling themselves, but they don't need to see your navel to let their thoughts get away from them.
WE women are NOT responsible for the thoughts and lusts of men, and we need to stop treating ourselves as sexual objects that need to be covered up and hidden to protect some kind of wild fervid beast living inside men's heads.
I know you all feel very strongly about this, but at least look into where your ideas about modesty are coming from. This is a fantastic book, if you are interested in learning more about how we started labelling things and how those arbitrary things slowly became common knowledge. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_History_of_Sexuality
I found the bit about how "modesty" as we know it started as an aristocratic fad! Also, there's an interesting bit where churches used to have completely nude artwork all over the walls - then these modern ideas about modesty creeped in and churches actually had artists go around painting fig leaves over everybody's bits! Like, suddenly, seeing those things was sooooo immodest and sinful, when no one had batted an eye at it a few years before!
I stand by my remarks that girls and women should not be judged by what they wear, and young girls especially should not be vilified for the clothes they wear. It's hateful, and oppressive.
Thank you for your concern everyone. I appreciated the verses. I hope you'll look into the information that I've shared as well :)
Nichole N.
Swimwear
on Wednesday, June 13, 2012 at 7:34 pm
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To me i dont want to b a stumbling block to any guy. It very important to cover up yourself. Modest is Hottest. What i ask my self is would i want my future husband to see me wearing this out in public drawing attention to myself?

Nichole N.
anon
to Kim
on Wednesday, June 13, 2012 at 10:41 pm
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Hey Kim,
thanks so much for sharing your guidelines! yes, it does make a different on what kind of body you have. I will try to have fun shopping!! thanks:-)
YoungGuyRecoveringinHisGrace
Re Jessica
on Wednesday, June 13, 2012 at 11:40 pm
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I am sorry that you felt vilified by the way that people reacted to the way you dress. I am sure they were only trying to help.
I would like to give you a guy's perspective on this whole modesty thing. I would like to start by saying that I agree that it is the man's responsibility to control himself, but it is much easier for him if the women around him help him in this.
I would also like to mention that modesty does not correlate directly with sexual immorality (at least in the physical sense). Modesty is about caring for the weaknesses of others. When a girl wears revealing clothing, no matter how strong willed the man, he will be tempted to lust. Asking that women dress modestly is not about oppressing women, but freeing them to exist without having to deal with men objectifying them. And a very good reason that asking women to dress modestly is not helping the rates of sexual immorality is because immorality is a matter of the heart not appearance.
Aubrey
Re:
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 12:04 pm
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I love being able to be modest at the beach but sometimes its odd being the only teenager in a one piece...
Kathy
to Aubrey
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 5:11 pm
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I know I feel the same way too but I guess we will just have to stand out for Christ. :)
Jessica
Re: Young Guy
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 5:23 pm
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Thanks for the Response, young guy :)
I appreciate what you're saying, but I also believe that it was society that wired you (and other men) to be that way. It's not in your genetic code to be tempted to lust, that's an environmental thing that's been coded into you by perhaps television, music, and the actions of adults around you as you were growing up.
In many studies, men's lust was found to be triggered by various very specific things. Like, if you don't find belly buttons attractive, you just don't, and nothing registers on the test results.
The interesting thing, is where do your preferences come from? Some men can get all worked up over a pair of legs, but wouldn't bat an eye at the sight of some cleavage.
Studies of our sexuality and how it develops have at least shown us that no matter how much a woman covers up, a man can still find something sexy about her.
On the other hand, studies have also shown that in societies where women where less - where they don't cover their breasts at all, ever, there is MUCH less sexual immorality and deviance among men. Teenage boys exposed to breasts and belly buttons, shoulders and thighs in the natural way (ie, on a woman's body, not hyper sexualized in a magazine) are very, VERY much less likely to display a problem controlling their desires or thoughts.
So really, in a society that praises women for covering up, and then slaps women's body parts all over the media in super-sexy snap shots - we're CREATING these lustful complexes in men. Covering up isn't going to help them, study after study has proven that.
What's going to help is NORMALIZING the sight of a woman's body. And that's only going to start happening when we stop insisting that she "cover up" and quit "showing off".
If you find any of this intriguing, I really suggest you look into how our views of modesty and sexuality have evolved over time. The History of Sexuality by Michel Foucault is an excellent beginner book :)
We weren't always like this.
YoungGuyRecoveringinHisGrace
Re: Jessica
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 7:44 pm
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First, of all I would like to respond about society wiring “us.” In part I agree that society often dictates what aspects of the female body we find attractive, but in the end it is in human nature to fulfill the first commandment that God gave man after the fall, “Be fruitful and multiply.” Like all creatures, Humans have an innate desire to continue the species. It is because of our sin nature that we deviate from God's path for sexuality. God designed humans to take spouses and have children. That is where the desire originates. In our sinful hearts we pervert this desire into wanting to act out in ways that we shouldn't. So even though it is society that molds it, it is our own nature that causes us to lust.

Second, I would like to point out that the book you mentioned was written in the 70's. When looking for a good explanation of sexuality I would not suggest you go to a time when sexual immorality was rampant and accepted in society at large. Also the premise of the book is that we should not repress our sexual desires but should carry them out. This is in open opposition with God's Word.
In every society that has embraced nudist or near nudist culture, they have eventually succumb to sexual immorality of the most perverse nature. This was the downfall of nearly every “great” empire of the ancient times (I suggest finding and watching “empty cities” by Moody Bible Institute of Science).

Third, I will respond to your comment about men being able to lust after a woman no matter what she wears. Yes. That is true, but believe me when I say it takes a lot more effort to lust after a fully clothed woman then it takes to lust after a scantily clad woman.

Fourth,I will respond to there being less sexual immorality in nudist cultures. The reason that this is said is because in most nudist cultures (barring most new age “Naturists” being that they are trying to gain acceptance) sexual deviance is not frowned upon, thus it is not reported.

Lastly, I will discuss the media. You are completely right that the media and their worship of the female body has a lot to do with the sexual deviance of our culture, but it has never and will never be any different. Point in case Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 19).
YoungGuyRecoveringinHisGrace
Re: Aubrey and Kathy
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 7:46 pm
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I would like to thank you on behalf of my fellow Christian brothers for being willing to stand out at the beach, in order to defend us.
Aubrey
@ Kathy
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 10:46 pm
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Ya :) I talked to my mom about it and she is a very funny person. More like a kid then a grown up and she said "Well if your the only one i bet more guys look at you" It made me think and it was funny the way she said it. Haha but it probably didnt help i was babysitting so i was carrying a toddler every :P
Esther
Bible Camp
on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 at 4:04 pm
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Off topic* But read. You might be interested. Almost every year i go to this Bible Camp. Its a different topic every year. What i like about this camp is that it is full of Christians ready to learn but there is also a fun part to it. You don't have to be a Christian. Ages are from 8-18. If you are 18 and up you can be a counselor. You can still be a Camper if you like too. Here is the Website. Check it out. The camp cost $425. You don't have to pay it all. You can pay 25, 50, 55, 80.What ever you have. This year i only paid a little. If you don't pay it all, you write a letter to the person who donated the money to you. They provide you with paper and pens. You get divided into age group cabins , so if you16, you wont be with 12 year olds, you'll be with 14,15, 16. Check out the Website. Tell your mom, your dad, your brothers and sisters. http://www.northeastfccamp.com/index.html


Youll be glad you came. The director of the camp is Gardner hall. This year on the 4th of July, i got baptized. The topic this year was love. I cant wait to find out about next year. There is also a camp just for girls, this august. The topic is, choose today whom you will serve. Aside from that, we are going to learn how to be faithful to our husbands in the future and how to cook and be holy women. You can contact Gardner Hall on the same website. Only Girls.
Courtney
Modest Swimwear site
on Wednesday, August 8, 2012 at 10:10 pm
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Hey i found this cute modest swimwear site that sells lots of modest tankinis that do not show any belly, come high in the front and back, and have bottoms that completely cover. They also have matching board shorts for most of their suits in cute colors and patterns. it is: www.limericki.com :)
Faith
easy way to be modest
on Saturday, August 18, 2012 at 6:26 pm
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I discovered a few years ago that what works really well for me is getting a running tank top. They come in great colors and patterns, and they can be as lose or tight as you want them! :)
skirted one piece swimwear
http://www.padillasport.com/products/Swimwear/
on Thursday, October 11, 2012 at 1:54 am
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The suits available in the market are of different patterns and styles, you can choose from a wide range of the suits according to the fashion and the look you want to have.
anonymous
Re:
on Sunday, October 21, 2012 at 8:38 pm
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I hate hate hate shopping for swimsuits! It seems like every year, they cover less and less of your body. Especially since I'm not stick thin, they are also less and less flattering. Tomorrow, we have swimming in P.E. and I have to wear a t shirt over my swimsuit. Gah! The last time swimsuit shopping was easy was when I was like, eight.
Bri KB
Great place to find cute but modest swimsuits
on Monday, December 10, 2012 at 2:24 pm
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I know this is a little late for most of the people in the country, but LimeRicki.com is a great place to find cute, but modest swimwear. They have a great selection of tankini tops, one pieces, bikini bottoms, boy shorts, and swim skirts in all different colors and styles. Right now they probably have a lot of things on a good sale too. They even have suits that cover those of us who have been more "blessed" in the chest area than others.
Hope this helps!