Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

Katie
Why I want that
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 1:33 am
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Lately ive been wanting to plan a Human Trafficking walk-a-thon in september (i kno september is close but summers next) ive been planning and trying to get everything oked with my school and other hoops i have to jump through but i was just hoping to get prayer for it because I want to spead awarness about human trafficking in my area in a way God wants me too. I kno this is a little bit off top but its been on my heart.
Tillwehavefaces
Why
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 3:18 am
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We want to be loved, to be beautiful, to have friends, to be accepted, because we define our value through these things.

Deep down, we all want to be loved, to be valuable, to be worth something. And we want people to admit we are worth something.

As for obedience to God, and stopping sinful patterns:

This can be motivated by guilt. Christ died for us, If I don't obey him, I'm spitting in his face.

It can be motivated by desire, the desire to make God proud, to be a delight, not a dissapointment to him, to be worthy of his love.

It SHOULD be motivated by love for him
Mattea
Re:
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 7:01 am
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We think what people think is soooooooooo important but it only matters what God thinks, and if we are a light to unbelievers, and an example to fellow Christians.
Chey
Great Message
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 8:00 am
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I'm finding more and more in my life that when I try to please people I usually end up with a lot of resentment, not only toward myself but to the same people I'm trying to please. When I become a people pleaser I take my eyes off of my audience of one, Christ, and end up missing the opportunities God places in my life to further His name. My youth pastor put a lot of this in perspective recently. When we honestly believe that God could take us to Him or come back for His bride at any time; that should change how we think. We should be more focused on investing in our eternity and our relationship with one we will spend it with; rather than investing in the here and now and people we are trying to impress. Guess what I'm trying to say is that a healthy amount of concern of the opinions of others is ok but too much is unhealthy and can lead us into temptation, sin, and a strained relationship with our savior.
:)
Thanks again for another thought provoking post and inspiring us to be more like Christ.
Janice
Good question
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 8:06 am
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Wow. I never really noticed the difference in the desires you mentioned just then. It's so true. Some one could say I want to help the poor so then I wouldn't feel so guilty, or someone could say it's because God loves those people. The difference is so important because God sees our hearts and judges our motives. Even if we're doing really good things. I guess for myself, I admit I excercise because I want to be healthy and fit (and look good). Which isn't bad, but if I want to think outside of my self, my duty is to please God and treat my body in a good way because I am a temple of God.

Thanks for the post Lindsay!
Libby
Yes!!!
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 9:16 am
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I was just pondering these things this morning! Now, I'm wondering how to get past those, how can you get rid of the selfish motives, with-out having selfish motives. Isn't it all the same? (Not sure if that makes sense...) Everytime I try to figure that out, it keeps going in circles and I am right back where I started, but this time I'm frustrated and discouraged.
Ania
Why I want
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 9:20 am
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This is really something to think about. Some time ago I might have said some different things, but now most of the time anyway :) (I still am tempted to want these things for the wrong reasons).... Right now I know that I want to please God, I want to follow Jesus, be at peace with Him and live for Him. He is still merciful and gracious... I know He is with me and guides me and keeps me and shows me what areas still must be worked on in my life... It's amazing just to see His work in my life... :) Thank you Lindsey for posting on this sometimes neglected topic...

Anyway Your posts were so important for me... like those about assurance of salvation... Thank you. The Lord is gracious and helped me realize that "through His wounds I am healed" and He gave me assurance. I still have momments of doubt but God is gracious and helps me hold fast to the truth.

Love and Blessings,


Ania.
Anna
?
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 9:50 am
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What's self-worship?
Arlene
Re:
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 10:07 am
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Hello Lindsey:
Thank you for your thoughtful post. It would be wonderful if after we were saved God would take away our sin nature, but alas, we are stuck with it until God calls us home!
However, we know in the meantime He has given us His Holy Spirit to reside in us, and that the power of sin has been broken in our lives. (Rom. 6) One of the truths that help me in my daily battle with loving the praise of men, wanted self to be lifted up, etc, is to keep preaching the gospel to myself. Sometimes I can become very discouraged thinking I will never get victory in a certain area, but when I remember that I now have Jesus' righteousness imputed to me, and therefore, His perfect record, I can continue to battle onward because the battle has already been won in Christ. Yes, there is daily confession of my sin, and praise God, His forgiveness of my sins. I don't like struggling with the praise of men, or doubting my motives, etc, but I am encouraged to know that God is "committed to my sanctification,"
that when He sees me, He sees me as being in His Son, and that gives me hope and strength to press on in this battle.

Blessings,
Arlene
Arlene
Anna's question
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 10:23 am
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Great question, Anna!
You asked, "What is self-worship?"
Self-worship is simply the worshiping of self. What does that look like?

-selfish
-self-absorbed
-self-centered

Self is at the center!

Thinking about yourself all the time--What will they think of ME? How will this affect
ME? Why is this happening to ME?
Thinking that the world should revolve around you and your desires, your wants, your needs. In other words, it's all about ME! Though we would never use those words, "It's all about me," many
times it is reflected in our thoughts, in what we say, and in how we act. We were created for God's will and God's glory, not our own! ( Is. 43:7; Rev. 4:11); to orient our thoughts and lives around God, yet many times we orient our thoughts and lives around us.

Hope that helped!

Blessings,
Arlene
Shonda
God is So Awesome!
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 11:30 am
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The link to this blog just popped up on my Facebook news feed and I could do nothing but smile when I saw it. I smiled and thought, "Wow God! Talk about confirmation!" I just finished Dr. Larry Crabb's book "The Pressure's Off" (2002) this morning and it talks about this very thing, moving from the Old Way to the New Way of life. I'd like to quote a few things from the book because I think they are so relevant to the conversation at hand and I found them quite helpful. The first is that he said "We're never more deceived than when we think we're living for God but in fact are living for His blessings" (p.82). The second is "The key does not lie in our selection of words or actions. It lies in the energy from which they're spoken or done" (p. 113). Are we making decisions based on the fact that we think they will make us happy or because we truly feel led by God to do so? Finally, something to ponder is that "We experience so little of the joy that sustains us in suffering and the hope that anchors us amid shattered dreams when we come to Him looking for the pathway out of hardships instead of the pathway into His presence" (p.76).
Thank you so much for posting this, Lindsey!
God bless you all,
Shonda
kl
what if that's me
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 12:01 pm
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Hey girls,

I'm a little bit beyond young woman stage but I saw this post and it sooo rang true with me, thought I'd post some encouragement. A lot of us are spiritual perfectionists, and read something like this, see ourselves in it, and totally start guilttripping ourselves for having wrong mltivations. DON'T!! That is a trap and it's just part of the spiral. You can be spiritually paralyzed by trying to superanalyze and self-correct all your motivations...I was there for years, going around in spiritual circles trying to make my heart right before God and going in spiritual circles in the process. It doesn't work. The most frustrating thing to realize after reading a thoughtful, convicting article like this is that you cannot change your own heart!! BUT that is also the liberating thing becuase that is what God does!!! Girls, bring it to Him. When you see these things in yourselves do not let the guilt paralyze you. Take it to the cross for His forgiveness and His change. Lay it at His feet. He is the only one who can transform your heart and He will do it in his time and way. Phil 1:6 even when you feel like you are a spiritual mess--He WILL do it! And it the meantime keep putting one foot in front of the other and walking the good walk, obeying, praying, trusting Him in the tangible, active things you can control, but bring that rebellious selfish unmanageable heart to His loving hands and RELAX and just see what He does with it. :) He is so gracious and faithful and He loves you!!! May you be encouraged today and thank you Lindsay for a really insightful article.
-Kate
Karey
Re:
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 12:18 pm
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Amen. God used this for me today!
Anna
To Arlene
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 12:31 pm
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Thanks. It's more clear to me now.
Hannah
Why I want it, and prayer request.
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 3:18 pm
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I want this because at the end of my life, the thing I want most from God is to be told "Good Job, Hannah." That to me, would be the best thing EVER! I know that God is going to use me in such an amazing way, that I want to follow His plan, although I do tend to get off track sometimes.

By the way, this doesn't have a lot to do with this subject, but I am really asking for a deep prayer request. I am raised in an amazing Christian home, and have been super blessed. My whole life, though, my mom and I have not gotten along, and we always always fight. I try hard too, but sometimes she can just get so stubborn, and vise-versa! I really need prayers upon my mom and I, because I want to be close to her. We just keep pushing each other away. It's hard to honor her like the Bible says, sometimes. I love her to death, but we do not get along at all, and it mostly has to do with our different views in situations. Please, please pray.
Ashley
Wow!
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 5:20 pm
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This was such a thought provoking blog, thanks!
I will pray for you, Hannah and your mom!
stela
sometimes i dont know what i want
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 5:45 pm
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There are several times when i think about what am i searching for in life,and i get pretty much confused.I tent to search for things that can complete my desires but not what i really need.than i open the Bible and i see there a real manual of my life..but it is hard for me to use these meanful words into practice..so these is my mision that i want to achieve ...i want to see only straight to the eternal things and not to the daily things that may not have such an importance..And i know that i can reach it and grasp it..."And what a difference between man's sins and God's forgiveness!" Romans 5:15
Leah
Not taking pride in myself
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 7:20 pm
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A little while ago I worked really hard at my faith. I read the Bible a lot and memorized all of the time. I thought about how proud God must be and of how proud others are of me. Later on I realized that I was taking a lot of pride of what I was doing. I should be doing that to serve God and strengthen my faith in him, not for attention...
Sam
I relate to this!
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 7:57 pm
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I have so been struggling with this for such a long time! Sometimes I think I'm a christian just so I can be saved. But isn't that kinda the point? That's why we share the gospel right, so others can be saved? But then that's like saying it's all about us again. I don't really know what I'm supposed to do.
graceful klutz
Hannah
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 8:02 pm
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I liked this post, Lindsey; I think it's one that applies to everybody. Hannah, when I read your prayer request, I thought that you sound just like me. My mom and I struggle, because we have different opinions about things. We can't change our moms, and if your mom is like mine, then you have a pretty good one. We can only change ourselves. When my mom says that I can't wear makeup, listen to certain kinds of music, or hang out with friends, my first reaction is, "Why? That's stupid." But my mom really wants what's best for me, and the thing I've found that helps me most is this: is being banned from makeup a thing that really matters? Is avoiding certain kinds of music going to matter anymore to me in eternity? I really want to listen to music that I like, but honoring my mother is more important. In the long run, it's not going to matter. Try to avoid getting into discussions about different viewpoints with your mom, because, more than likely, she believes in her opinion firmly, and will view your opinion as rebellion. It's really tough, and sometimes mothers don't understand us, but they have a really tough job. Another thing that helps is praying for your mother, and praying that your spirit would be sweet to your mother. You can pray for me and my mom, too. We are still working on our relationship too! Soon we'll be old enough to make our own decisions (and mistakes), so I think we can handle submitting to our parents' rules while we are under their authority. Parents have a lot of wisdom that we can't understand yet :)
Ashley
Wanting the approval of men
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 8:40 pm
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I know exactly why I want what I want...and that is to get others approval. How do I break this destructive pattern because the desire to give God the glory in my life is not there. I wonder at times if I am truly saved. Please help me? Should I be worried? If not, then what can I do to obtain a desire to please God and not people?
God's Girl, and Over-comer:)
Thank-you for the reminder! :)
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 10:31 pm
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Wow! Thank-you this is a challenging and good for me to hear! Often times I do forget, well a lot of times it's not about me, but about my Savior Jesus Christ! It's a challenge, and thinking "I don't have those sins," which is sinful thinking! Then I realized something, I've been running away from being in a relationship, and over-coming things such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. (I've mentioned this a while.) And I realized deep down my sinful pattern is running away from men, and not allowing the Lord to heal me from my wounds from when I was young.... Yeah, good times.... (Not really....

Then thinking, I don't have any of those issues, well despite finally healing from PTSD it's been a long road, my sinful pattern is running away from someone I like that God might have put in my path

I continue need to heal from my sin from running away from men, and allowing God to heal my heart, and finally it's easy to want to gets men's approval, I'm guilty of that too, God put me in a class to start my Business Management masters degree and I did not want to be there!

Anyhew, it's easy to become prideful when God is giving you the words to speak in class, but in the end, the glory does BELONG TO GOD AND HIM ONLY! :)

Thank-you for the reminder! When God reminds us that we are God's children, we are hear to serve Him, and HIM only! Just like God reminds me daily before I go into my class: "The grass may wither, the flowers may fade, but the word of OUR GOD will stand forever,"

Also, God reminds me of: "Always be ready to have an answer for the hope we have in Jesus Christ," Thank-you for this reminder! :)
Joe
I'd Rather Have Jesus
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 11:15 pm
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wow! I have never thought about it that way before! It reminded me of the Hymn I'd Rather Have Jesus! Why would I rather have Jesus? Because if I have Him He will give me things? Because following His law will make me look good to others? So I feel good? He made me even though He knew how disgusting I would be, then He died for me to save me from eternity away from Him even though He knew I would often disappoint Him and He listens to all of my prayers even though He is running the whole world! He is so great! His love is un-comprehendable! We love Him because He first loved us!!!
Chey
Hannah
on Tuesday, June 19, 2012 at 9:02 am
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Just wanted you to know your in my prayer journal.
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Re: Why I want it, and prayer request
on Tuesday, June 19, 2012 at 9:58 am
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My daughter and I went through a similar struggle a number of years ago. But I’m so glad to tell you that God has brought healing and reconciliation far beyond what we could have imagined. Here’s a link that describes a bit of that journey (http://www.truewoman.com/?id=1961). Perhaps God would use the idea of journaling with your mom as a part of the healing process in your relationship, Hannah!

I’m praying for you and your mom today!
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Re: YES!!!
on Tuesday, June 19, 2012 at 11:01 am
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Great question, Libby. James 3:14-16 defines selfish ambition in this way:
“But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.”
Self-focused thinking then isn’t something we can simply wish away or change by determination or resolve - it is sin; that’s the bad news. But the good news is that through Jesus death and resurrection, God provided a way for our sin to be dealt with.

1 John 1:9 says when we confess our sins He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and will cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

So run to Jesus, my friend. Acknowledge the selfishness He has illuminated in your life. Agree with Him that it is sin and choose today to turn from it. He alone is able to give you everything you need to retrain your heart and mind to focus first on Him and then on others!
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Re: I relate to this!
on Tuesday, June 19, 2012 at 12:48 pm
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Isn’t it amazing to think that the God of the Universe – the King of kings loves us so much that He paid the price so that we ( who are so desperately unworthy) might have a personal, vibrant, joy filled relationship with Him!

That’s the incredible truth of the gospel, Sam. While that good news is indeed FOR us it is primarily ABOUT the God who has made that good news possible!

So what do you do? You focus your heart and mind upon knowing and loving HIM more (through His Word and spending time with Him). And then allow Him to use your life to reflect His love to others.
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Re: Wanting the approval of men
on Tuesday, June 19, 2012 at 1:14 pm
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Thanks for sharing where you’re struggling, Ashley. Establishing where you are with God is vital. 1 John 5:13 tells us that not only does God want us to know if we are truly saved, but that it is possible to know. Romans 8:16 says that it’s the Spirit of God who confirms whether or not we are saved

Salvation is based not upon our works – what we do or don’t do (Eph. 2:8), but upon the work of Jesus for sinners like you and me. When, by faith, we repent of our sin and place our trust in the work of Christ, acknowledging that there is nothing we can do to make ourselves acceptable to a holy and righteous God, we are saved. So ask the Lord today to confirm in your spirit if you are His child, friend.

In His love and mercy God will always reveal to His children the “idols” we may begin worshiping. It sounds like that’s what He’s done in revealing the idol of approval in your life, friend. In Scripture the need for approval is often called “fear of man” (Prov. 29:25).

So begin by confessing/repenting of worshipping something other than God. Then ask God to help you desire only His approval! You’ll find helpful doing that here, friend: (http://www.lifeaction.org/infuse-podcast/2010/10/27/why-fear-man-problem/).

Praying for you today!
Sarah, with the LYWB team
@Katie...
on Tuesday, June 19, 2012 at 3:51 pm
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We are delighted to pray with you! Do your homework carefully to get all the permissions, and then step out with confidence that God will use your efforts to make people aware and call people to pray and walk! God bless you, Katie. Praying for you even now!
Jennifer
Wow!!! (& Hannah)
on Tuesday, June 19, 2012 at 4:08 pm
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Wow!!! This is just what God has been convicting me of! Goodness, how I struggle with this! It is amazing God's timing, isn't it?

And Hannah, I know how you feel, girl. I often feel the same way with my Dad. I'm starting writing letters to him, telling how I feel about our relationship and all. I'll be praying for you!!!
Blue
Re:
on Thursday, June 21, 2012 at 12:43 pm
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This speaks to me. I have a great desire for my own needs to be satisfied. We talked about this yesterday at church. Sometimes we focus too much on ourselves, and we need someone else to know our pain. We tell others to love *me*, care for *me*, counsel *me*, comfort *me*. But it's not about us. It's about Him. I do this too. I have this deep desire for someone to understand what I've gone through. I look around at the older people in my church and want them to parent me. I want someone to hold me and comfort me and love me. I want someone to be my mother (even though my mother is a great mother nowadays, I'm still hurt from the past and we don't live together anymore), and I want someone to be my father. Sometimes it kills me that no one understands, and I feel so lonely. But if I keep turning to people to fill those needs for love and comfort and understanding, they will never be met. And I think that's why God is keeping me from having friendships and interaction with others, because I tend to develop emotional attachments to others because of my needs. (There's always a reason for suffering). I want to learn that only God can truly love me and satisfy me. Sometimes it's just difficult to settle for God's understanding (as terrible as that sounds) because He can't hug me, and I can't see Him. And I want so badly for someone to hold me while I cry. And then, God isn't my therapist, either. If He is going to heal me, it's going to be for His glory for me to turn around and help others. And the longer I prolong this, the longer I'm not going to be a help to anyone else in the Kingdom. I want to desire what I desire for God's glory and never for mine. I'm going to have to pray and ask Him to change my heart to live for His fame and not for my own. Thank you for this post!

Ps. This is Heather, but I'm changing my name to "Blue" because I could get in trouble =X
Melinda
Re:
on Thursday, June 21, 2012 at 10:23 pm
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I have and still struggle with doing things to please people...wanting to be called beautiful. God is working on my heart and all thanks to Him for showing me this. Thanks for the post.
kk
RE: Blue
on Friday, June 22, 2012 at 11:23 pm
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Hey Blue!

I totally understand what you are struggling with; because I'm struggling in those areas too! Thanks for sharing, and keep speaking truth back to yourself from God's Word.

kk
Blue
KK
on Wednesday, June 27, 2012 at 7:59 pm
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Thank you for the encouragement, KK! Prayed for you!<33
Christina
What I Want
on Friday, June 29, 2012 at 6:02 pm
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I'm a teenager, i'm looking at the future, but not in detail. Right now i am interested in serving the Lord and letting His will be done for my life.
Blue/Heather
Re:
on Friday, June 29, 2012 at 11:50 pm
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I had an interesting conversation today. I spoke with an older friend about singleness. I told her that even though I believe God has promised me a husband, I want to get to a place where, if I were to be single forever, that would be okay. She told me that I don't have to pretend that I don't desire marriage, but that I should come to a place where Jesus is enough for me right now, and when I get married, He will still be my everything. My husband will just be the icing on the cake ;) I was trying to make myself pretend that I don't want to be married because I thought that's what "content with singleness" meant. But now I know that makes no sense.. because God is the One who designed me with this desire! I'm really intrigued by this that I learned today.. I just wanted to share =]