Not What I Was Expecting

a Guest Blogger 07/04/12
Category: Guys ; 39 comments

romantic surpriseLast summer I desperately wanted to have a boyfriend. I wanted to be swept off my feet and fall hopelessly in love. There was a boy I had my eye on, but I just wasn't on his radar. I spent hours wondering what I was doing wrong. Wasn't I pretty enough? Wasn't I godly enough? Smart enough?  

As the summer wore on, a lady in my church (ironically the mother of the boy I had a crush on) asked my friends and me to do a Bible study about waiting on God's timing for your prince and falling in love with God instead of a man. I found myself smiling at God's sense of humor. As we studied, I learned to be content in my walk with Christ and find my worth in Him instead of a guy. I realized that even if I had been dating, the holes in my heart wouldn't have been filled. A boy would never make me feel like I was enough. I would always fall short—unless my worth wasn't found in a human. God was the only one who would never let me down, never change His mind about me, and would think I was beautiful no matter what my hair looked like.

As I started my second year of college that fall, I had several boys ask me out on dates, and while I did accept some of their offers, my heart wasn't longing for it like before. I had suddenly found a love affair that was way better than any that a man could give me. Then God did something new in my love life that was totally unexpected.

I met him the first weekend of my sophomore year. We worked together in the dorms. When I met him, he was screaming profanity at me—a training tool to help prepare us in case that ever happened in the hall. That was my only impression of him for about two months. Then I noticed him at my church. (I remember being surprised that I had never noticed him there before.) He approached me and let me know he was the assistant youth pastor and that they needed more female leaders in the youth group. He asked if I would be interested, which I was (junior high girls are one of my passions). We decided to meet for coffee to discuss how I could get plugged in. The only problem was—he never showed up. I waited an hour and a half before leaving. Needless to say, I wasn't too impressed with John at this point. For the record, he later made it up to me, buying me coffee and apologizing for sleeping through his alarm due to a 2:00 a.m. fire drill the previous night.

I remember sitting there with him and telling him my whole life story and thinking, "I can't believe I just told him all of that." I felt so comfortable with him, and it was so easy to talk to him. I thought about it for days after. Well as the year went on, I continued to help at youth group and get to know him. But I never really thought anything would come of it.

About midway through the year, another guy named Devin began to pursue me. He met my family and I met his. He was really fun and hilarious, yet something was off. I had my heart set on being in ministry someday, and he didn't. I battled back and forth between knowing if I was really in God's will in this relationship. After about two months of dating him on and off, I began to seriously pray that God would show me if I should continue seeing him.

It was about that time that John asked me to meet for coffee to talk about some ideas for Sunday school. After talking about Sunday school, his face got serious. "There is something else I want to talk to you about ... and it has the potential of being really awkward. I like you, and I want to pursue you. I just heard you are dating Devin. I felt that it would be a mistake for me not to tell you how I felt, however. I was wondering if you would take a week and pray about it, and think about if you really are supposed to be with him or not. We can meet back here at the same time next week to talk."

What was God up to? You'll have to hop back on the blog tomorrow for the rest of the story, but in the meantime, I'd love to hear from you.

Has God done something unexpected in your love life? Has He asked you to wait when you'd rather been dating or dropped a great guy in your lap when you least expected it? Leave us a comment and tell us about it.

Note: This post was written by guest blogger, Ashley Mazelin.

Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, weíre not trained counselors. If youíre seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as theyíll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

    C
    Re:
    on Wednesday, July 4, 2012 at 1:46 am
    Why do I feel that John will end up being your husband? ;) I'm interested in the story so far. I find it really cool that around the time you started praying if you should still be with Devin, John told you how he felt and asked you to pray about if you should be with Devin. It makes you think that if you suddenly get an urge to tell someone something, whether it be confession or apologizing or how you feel or whatever, maybe you should because maybe it's God giving you a nudge as an answer to someone else's prayer. I'll be tuning back in tomorrow for part 2. :)

    ~C
    J
    Wow
    on Wednesday, July 4, 2012 at 4:28 am
    This is amazing! God has been trying to get my attention, and it helps to know others have struggled with guys. I liked a certain guy for 3 years and because I loved God, I justified not giving my love life to the Lord. I told myself that it was what God wanted because he was a good godly guy. Finally 3 weeks ago I told God that I didn't want to have desires for someone who wasn't in my future. It was sooo hard to let go and give it to God. Now the guy i liked is in a relationship, and I feel like it is God closing that door for me. He is saying, "trust me beloved, and allow me to write your love story." Thanks for the encouraging story!! It has truly blessed me!
    Em
    Thanks
    on Wednesday, July 4, 2012 at 7:05 am
    This is really cool, and helpful. It is amazing just how much God can step in, in your life and help you. I am trying really hard at the moment, not to focus on my future and my dream guy, but on God. Thanks for this story, I can't wait to hear the rest. :)
    Chey
    Guys... and Waiting
    on Wednesday, July 4, 2012 at 7:18 am
    Great post! Did you have leave us on a cliffhanger like that? :) I found that I kind of have feelings for one of my Good Christian guy friends. God is definitely telling me to wait on his timing for all of it and I am. God has given me a wonderful gift of friendship with someone I wouldn't have expected!

    Thanks for the post and an opportunity to look at God's blessings in my life!
    Bethany
    WOW and THANKS
    on Wednesday, July 4, 2012 at 7:49 am
    Already I am AMAZED by your story, and it has already REALLY encouraged me to wait for the right guy to come into my life.

    It has been difficult to wait patiently for Mr Right, but after reading Part1 (and as Chey said - did you have to stop when you did?!), it has given me great encouragement to not give up waiting for the right guy to come at the right time, cause he will.

    Thank you SO much for sharing with us!
    RachelAllison
    Ashley!
    on Wednesday, July 4, 2012 at 10:42 am
    Wow, Ashley! You've got me hooked... I can't wait until the next post. :)
    This is like... crazy timing. God has been working a lot in my heart in this area and I wanted to share it... but I do apologize for the length.
    A little over a year ago I started falling for someone... a rather amazing someone; everything I was looking for in a guy, really. And that's saying something, because I honestly didn't think I'd ever find someone I could say that about. We talked and talked... and talked. Sometimes for several hours at a time. We weren't pursuing a relationship, we were just really enjoying getting to know each other. After a few months, he quickly became one of my closest friends. I could be open and honest with him without even worrying about it. There was just something there in the way he understood me... even my friends picked up on it when they saw us interacting. I had kinda liked him all this time.. that's really what drove me to start the first conversation. But I wasn't looking for a relationship and I definitely wasn't ready for one. Still, I let my emotions get away from me and the more I got to know him the more I realized how amazing he was and I didn't want to let that slip out of my grasp. So I kinda let slip that I liked him... actually, I didn't even say it directly, but he read between the lines of my questions and knew exactly what I was getting at. Of course, he kindly explained to me that I was a very close friend, but he had no plans of pursuing a relationship with any girl because he believed he was still too young and that, as he was heading off to college soon, he knew long distance relationships were very difficult and he didn't want to put a girl through that. So there we were, patching up the awkward pieces of our dear friendship and continuing on as "friends," because we'd promised to stay that way. But months rolled by and this whole friend thing just wasn't working for me... I wanted to be his friend, simply for his sake, but talking as often as we were my heart still tried desperately to read between the lines of his words to me and find a deeper meaning there. At the same time, I was coming to a point in my life where my relationship with God was taking a deeper turn. I had been chronically ill during all this time of getting to know this young man and now this illness had brought me to a breaking point in my faith. I saw how distracted my heart was and how far from God I truly stood. I wanted to get to know Him better... more personally... and it seemed I could do that as long as this young man possessed my thoughts so often. So I prayed and prayed, then wrote him a letter explaining my predicament. For one, I didn't feel as though I was doing my best to keep my promise to him to be his friend and nothing more... and second, my relationship with God need to be worked on without the distraction that he had proved to be. I asked that we take a break from talking so much until I had gotten things figured out. He completely supported me in my decision and encouraged me to strengthen my relationship with God first and foremost... which of course, only made him all the dearer to me as I saw this part of him come through. That was in November and we haven't truly talked since... we exchange "hello"'s and such, but it goes no further. I have missed him more than I even thought I would... and have been tempted to give in and just talk to him on several occasions (I really doubt he'd let me break my resolution so quickly).
    And lately I've been sad and just a little angry over all this, because in a time in my life where I need those who are closest to me to be there to support me, he cannot be. One of the only people I know who can encourage me so well when I'm down is the one person who cannot talk to me during this time of depression (due to my illness). And for weeks I've taken this to God, complaining of how unfair it is... only to suddenly realize that I'm complaining of loneliness even as I take advantage of being able to talk to God wherever I am. And down on my knees I went to apologize for complaining of being lonely when God was right here with me, hearing my every cry and comforting me as truly no one else ever could.
    But yesterday, as I went about my day, these fears kept coming up. Thoughts of "what if..." regarding this young man. The truth is, he's never told me he cared for me as more than a friend. I've only taken the hint by his actions and by assurances from my friends as they see him talk to me and about me. And so, my heart would not release the fear that I was waiting for nothing... that in this "love story," I was one that got snubbed. And even if it is reluctantly snubbed, it hurts all the same. Because there is always one of those people... the ones that liked you so much and you just didn't return the feelings... and if this was a book, I fear I'd just be an extra... someone to add more lines and complication to his story to give the reader a run for their money. But in God's timing, I want to be so much more.
    And I suppose it all revolves around giving him up again and again, because every time I think I've done it, a new fear arises and I see that I haven't completely done it yet. And today, this served to remind me that God has a plan in all of this... a greater plan than I could ever dream up. A love story written by the greatest Author. And He will take care of me as no one else ever could, because He loves me more and with a more perfect love than anyone (any guy) ever will. And I know whatever He writes, that's what is truly best for me, even if it means I'm just an extra in the "book" that is this young man's life.
    So it's not what I was expecting when I first set out to befriend this guy in the hopes that he might "kinda like me" back. :) But it is the journey that God has me on and I wouldn't change it for the world. <3
    RachelAllison
    Typo...
    on Wednesday, July 4, 2012 at 10:49 am
    that should be, "it seemed I COULDN'T do that as long as this young man possessed my thoughts so often."
    Kate H.
    Re:
    on Wednesday, July 4, 2012 at 10:58 am
    WOW!!! :O :D I can't wait to hear the rest!!! Well, nothing surprising has happened to me boy-or dating-wise. But I do feel like I don't need a bf, because I have God. I asked Him to fill that void and he did! In fact, I'm LOVING being single! Yeah, I do hope to marry someday, but at the moment I like being independant and focusing on Jesus. It's nice, when I imagine this is a special time of my life! If I do marry someday, it'll never be the same!
    Blessings, Kate
    P.S. Please pray for me in this area, since I tend to get mood swings and can fall back into wanting a bf. But at the moment everything's ok.
    Marissa
    I wish....
    on Wednesday, July 4, 2012 at 11:18 am
    I need prayer about this part of my life. I am going to be a junior in college in the fall and still have never had a boyfriend or gone on a date. I have been praying often about this that God will fufill all my wants and desires and be all that I need, but I can't help but wonder if I am going to spend my life alone as most of my friends have guys all over them. It is probably my deepest desire to be a wife and mother, and I just don't feel like God is leading me to be single the rest of my life.I don't know what to do other than keep praying and hoping. If you could be praying for me, or have any advice I would really, really, appreciate it.
    Christina
    Learning my lesson.
    on Wednesday, July 4, 2012 at 12:40 pm
    I was in a very serious relationship in high school and junior high. I was head over heals for about 3 years, but as that fourth year came along, I started thinking about both our goals. They weren't fitting together right and I started to question myself. I started my devotions back up every night and I could tell God was trying to tell me something! It took me until about 3 months before it would be our 4th year "anniversary." We had a basketball game that night and the boys lost badly. I just kept saying to myself that I had to break up with him but i felt that God picked the worst night ever! As we drove around after the basketball game that night, he was very upset from the loss and I think he could tell something was on my mind. I finally had the courage to tell him that we needed to talk about something. He said okay and I just began to cry. I explained that God was leading me to do this and whether it doesn't feel quite right now, I'm open for us to get back together later if that's what God calls us to do. So, my junior year I broke up with this guy and about a month later he was already with another girl. It was a terrible heartbreak but now that its been a while, God has shown me that I didn't need him to feel satisfied I just needed Him! Ya I know, I was young and in love and had no idea what I was doing. After this all transpired God has shown me His love and I have been content ever since! Praise God!
    Blue
    Marissa
    on Wednesday, July 4, 2012 at 12:51 pm
    I'm going to be a senior in college, and I've never had a boyfriend! lol But God has made it clear to me that He has a man for my future. Just be patient! Very, very few people are called to singleness, I think. What God is teaching me right now is to be content with only Jesus during this time of my life. Maybe He wants you to pursue the same? Pray about it! I'll say a prayer for you<3
    AnnaBelle
    Re:
    on Wednesday, July 4, 2012 at 12:56 pm
    Wow!! I'm really liking your story so far! I'm kinda going through that right now (I mean wanting a guy but knowing I need to wait for the right guy), sometimes it's hard but I'm starting to want to be with God more and more and wanting boys less and less. It will be interesting to see what God has in store for me!
    Can't wait to check back tomorrow and find out what happened!
    I<3 relientk morgan
    Got me hooked!
    on Wednesday, July 4, 2012 at 1:20 pm
    I want to know the rest of the story. This is exactly what I want, at least the falling in love with God that a guy has to know him to find me. You inspire me so much to not give into what all the other girls are going after. You gave me hope, at least this far, that I can wait and get a good guy. I can't wait to hear the rest of the story tomorrow!
    MJF
    Marissa & Blue
    on Wednesday, July 4, 2012 at 2:14 pm
    Im gonna be a college sophomore.Hey I am in the same "always been single" boat as u. never had a bf & thought i wasnt pretty enough 2 be really notice. u know I still struggle w/being self conscious, but being single is really the best. u dont have any guy distractions & u really, honestly enjoy just God. I really want a bf in my later college yrs, but I think God has filled that void so I dont feel I NEED a bf 2 feel good. so i will pray 4 u.
    EmilyJ
    Re:
    on Wednesday, July 4, 2012 at 3:56 pm
    I LOVE this<3 Can't wait for tomorrow so I can read part 2 haha.
    btw, Happy 4th of July everyone!
    Tabby
    Yes!
    on Wednesday, July 4, 2012 at 4:39 pm
    I remember a couple of years ago when I really wanted to start dating, but no guys liked me (that I know of). Now, after waiting, God has given me a really great guy that I think might like me, and I like him a lot too! I just have to keep waiting for God to do more work in my life! Thanks!
    Peaches
    Unexpectated turn
    on Wednesday, July 4, 2012 at 5:06 pm
    Yes, Im not as young as you are but I have had a strange turn of event on love this past year. I think that God has the biggest since of humor when it coms to love.Maybe He places certain men in our around our lives for a test. And yes I went thru it and stayed focus on Him and not what I wanted.But honestly now,at times I still feel like I'm on the lonley end of life.Thanks for sharig your story on Trusting God for true love. Pray for all women of faith who are loving Christ and want true love of a Godly man.......in His time................
    Molly
    Re:
    on Wednesday, July 4, 2012 at 6:24 pm
    As I read your post and all of your girls' comments after them, I am both encouraged and amazed. We are not alone. Even in those times when we feel lonely, we are not alone. Even in those times when we feel we cannot wait for God's timing, God gives us grace to choose patience and trust - for it is His timing that is absolutely perfect and right and, more than that, BEST. There is FREEDOM - such releasing freedom and peace - in knowing that the Lord has a big plan for each and every one of us (Jeremiah 29:11), and if that plan includes a man He will provide that. Absolutely. And if it does not, that is for the best; whether we have a man in our life or we do not, we must always find out contentment, satisfaction, purpose, and fulfillment in Christ, for it is in Christ alone that it can be found.

    I am encouraged by your stories of obedience, patience, and even honest confessions of mistakes and feelings of loneliness. Our God is faithful - the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8).

    P.S. As a sidenote, I will be a sophomore in college and have never had a boyfriend. It is a journey of waiting on the Lord's timing and trusting that He knows what is best, always.
    Em
    Marissa
    on Wednesday, July 4, 2012 at 8:29 pm
    Hey Marissa,
    I am praying for you girl! Don't worry, God has the perfect guy waiting for you, whether it be in college or not, he'll come. Also Congratulations for staying pure and not distracted by boys for so long. If you are strong enough to have that strength during all those hormones, you are strong enough to wait for God's perfect timing without getting trapped or mislead by Satan's lies. Don't give up and have hope. God will never leave you or abandon you, and He has your life planned out for you. The longer you wait, the better the realtionship will be when it finally comes. Just pray about it and ask God to give you patience and the knowledge to know 'just the right time'. Praying for you
    Em :)
    Em
    Kate H
    on Wednesday, July 4, 2012 at 8:36 pm
    Hey Kate,
    Don't worry, we all understand how the mood swings can totally take over your feelings. Don't worry these feelings are normal during this time, BUT... You can't let them take over you. You have the power, through God, to put away those feelings and control them. When you start to fell them, pray. Pray, pray, pray, pray, pray. Ask God to give you the strength to control those feelings. Don't worry, I know that God has the perfect guy waitng for you. He will come one day. But good on you for focusing on God. That can be really hard, but well done!
    I am praying for you Kate. Hope this helps.
    Em :)
    Mattea
    Re:
    on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 7:48 am
    Can't wait to read the rest of story..love romances :)
    Christina
    My Love Story
    on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 8:19 am
    So, guess what? I do have one! This is funny, i was just talking to my special guy friend (we don't date cuz the temptation that comes with dating) about this yesterday. Since 7th grade I've prayed that in God's timing He would show me who He wanted me to be with and that He kept this guy pure clean and safe, and that this guy would be saved and love God with all of his heart and serve the Lord. Besides that, i left the rest to God. I don't have specific things that i want from a guy besides that, God knows who I am suppose to be with so nothin really specific on a list. Except, i do want him to be a guy that knows how to treat a girl right (like what some people now-a-days would call old fashion). I didn't exactly live for the Lord for a while even though i've been saved since i was 5. There was a trial that hit me hard, but in the end i realized it was there to put me back on track even though it took 3 yrs to do it and get me where i was suppose to be in my walk with God. I have known this guy for a long time, but i wasn't on the right path before. I liked a few guys, but not really them it was one of those stupid silly crushes. In these past two years, i have changed a lot. And in this past year, was when i really got on the right track. I liked this guy, but i had started not liking him so much cuz he wasn't on the right path. One day (within the time i had gotten a lot closer to God), something hit me and i realized that one guy is not the guy for me. This new guy (someone i'd known since 6th grade) came to mind, out of nowhere, and it's really hard to explain. But, i knew that this guy was definetly coming to mind for a reason. We have unofficially been dating for about a year now. I have been praying about it, and God hasn't showed me wrong yet. I'm a teenager, and this might not be the guy for me, but i really do believe with all my heart that this is the guy God has for me. I talked to this guy, and we said that we were happy that we didn't get close before i grew in Him. Things happen in God's timing, and his timing is perfect. As i grow in God, my relationship with this guy grows and we get closer and closer. His family loves me, and i love his family. They look at me already as family! His family is a good Christian family. And this guy loves God, serves the Lord, is pure and clean, saved, and he devoted his life to become a youth pastor. He also knows how to treat a girl right!
    ~*~KayKay~*~
    ???What to do???
    on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 3:20 pm
    I have guys come up to me all the time and flirt with me.I am waiting for the "right guy" to come along, and I know they are not the right guy.Because they are not saved,don"t go to church.But how do I tell them to back of?
    Brittany
    Same
    on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 4:14 pm
    Thanks for the post, I totally understand it. I wish the same thing still, but no luck.
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    Marissa
    on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 4:51 pm
    You are indeed doing the right thing, Marissa. Donít give up hope. Prayer and focusing on your relationship with the Lord is the best thing you can do right now. Spending time in the Word, prayer and Christian fellowship are so important not only at this time of your life but at any point in your life.

    It has been said that we shouldnít worry so much about finding the right man, but concentrate on becoming the right woman. That being said, focusing on submissive to our authorities, developing our culinary skills, opening our home/apartment/room in hospitality, ministering to others, mentoring younger women, developing other homemaking skills are all great avenues to pursue as you wait for God to reveal His will for this area of your life. These are skills you will need for the rest of your life whether married or single.

    Iím praying for you, Marissa, and asking God to reveal to you how to find your satisfaction in Him and how He would have you use your single years to serve Him.
    Marissa
    Thank You!!
    on Friday, July 6, 2012 at 9:13 am
    Thank you for all the comments, advice and prayers. You dont know how much I appreciate it. I am going to try a lot to enjoy this time of my life instead of just trying to hurry through it.
    Anoymous
    Re:
    on Friday, July 6, 2012 at 5:36 pm
    Thank-you for this encouragement!!! I really needed this! I had something unexpectedly happen like that to me! There was this guy I liked when I was in High-School and to make a long story short God re-connected us seven years later!!!

    We went on three dates and had a wonderful time! I haven't heard from him much lately, but have faith that if is God's will, then God will bring us together! But if not, one thing God did do was HE Opened up the door for me to heal from my past wounds! I'm praying to see where God leads this new friend-ship!

    Thank-you for reminding me! And for the encouragement!!!:)

    One of the worship songs that come into my mind is: "I remember the first time I met you," can't remember the rest of the song!
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    KayKay
    on Friday, July 6, 2012 at 7:25 pm
    Guys donít like to beat around the bush. They like to know the bottom line. I encourage you to be honest with them. Tell them that you are not looking for a relationship right now. Tell them you are glad to be their friends but that it wonít go any farther than that at this time. They will appreciate your honesty. Praying for your continued wisdom and discernment, Kay Kay.
    Darby
    woah.woah.woah.woah.
    on Friday, July 6, 2012 at 9:53 pm
    I LOVED this post!!!!!!!! this helped me so much! I had been best friends with a guy for three years.. we told each-other everything. i liked him and he liked me after a 6 months of knowing each-other. sadly he moved. broke my heart, but we kept in touch. and earlier this year i knew i needed to stop talking to him. God had someone else in mind or it wasn't time. I ignored it. april 2011 i felt a HUGE pull towards ministry. However, that guy didn't. He didn't really listen when I poured my heart out about it. but i didn't care. june 21st 2012 we had to stop talking. it was time. i wanted him to value me. he didn't. so now i have holes in my heart and i'm going to try so hard to let God fill em. to fall madly in love with God and let Him choose the right guy for me. Thank-you for this post... and if anyone reads this, please be praying for me!
    GodsLilGurl
    Prayer
    on Saturday, July 7, 2012 at 2:56 pm
    Is there any way that you could post the bible study you did for getting closer to God and not guys.....I'm unfortunately not feeling the wholes in my heart filled yet and I'm really struggling.......if you could post some of the major points in the bible study you did or maybe bring out something from the archives it would be great :) I'm asking that you also pray for me....I want to fall desperately in love....but not with a guy with God!
    brenna
    feeling worthless
    on Sunday, July 8, 2012 at 12:32 pm
    hi girls! So here I am and I'm feeling pretty insignificant. I have a quiet personality, am not the prettiest girl, have been struggling spiritually and am seperated from the guy I like for a month! My thoughts seem to be so worldly...but I had a wonderful time with God yesterday morning. I just feel like no guy would really be excited about me. I have trouble talking to girls, much more so guys.
    Sarah
    Re: RachelAllison
    on Sunday, July 8, 2012 at 3:55 pm
    All I can say is.... wow, *beautiful* post. So often when girls say "I love him!" they mean, "he makes me feel good; he satisfies my emotional needs; I need to tell him how I feel so that I don't lose him; the only way my 'love' for him can be fulfilled is by us being together.." From my experience I have found, like you, that true love can quite often actually mean.. letting him go. It hurts like heck, but love does that sometimes :) And we must remember, if we are generous, God will not be outdone. (And I *love* your story/being an extra analogy. It's seldom that I hear anything as deep as that.. Beautiful!)
    ___

    Good blog post too, btw. :)
    Lydia D
    Love
    on Sunday, July 8, 2012 at 9:38 pm
    Love this! Thank you!
    someone
    Re: brenna
    on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 3:40 am
    Being shy isn't a bad thing-- being quiet is actually a blessing! I've struggled with having a big mouth all of my life, and I wish I had the gift of being of quiet personality.

    You may be feeling insignificant, but God values you very much. He created with a purpose-- God doesn't create anyone willy-nilly-- He loves them all, and knows them deeply and personaly. He knows your name and keeps all the tears you've cried in a bottle. He sent His Son to suffer death so you wouldn't have to-- so obviously your feelings of insignificance are not rooted in God's word, but just your current state of emotions [likely due to whatever's been happening in your life lately].

    As far as phisical beauty goes, [prepare yourself, I'm crazy about this topic of beauty] although I can't see you, I would asume that your probably more attractive [on the outside] than you're leading us to beleive. Beautiful models look in the mirror and say "I'm ugly", and really, most girls think that about themselves at one point or another. How do you judge outward beauty? I can't think of really any 'ugly' girls out there, or 'plain' girls. As far as I'm concerned, everyone is just different-- there's no 'ugly' and 'beautiful' or 'inbetween'. If you feel like you're 'not the prettiest girl' around, you're probably comparing yourself to someone else. Speaking from personal experience, I know that you can never be happy with how you look until you stop trying to look like someone else [or fantasizing about looking like them], and accept your looks that YOU'VE been given by God. I once heard someone say that everybody has their own unique look, and they should cultivate it! Why look like someone else, when God created you to be YOU? For all you know, someone out there wishes they looked like you. [don't roll your eyes at this either, it's probably true!]

    And it is hard to talk to people! Don't think just because it's hard means that it's impossible though! People consider me outgoing and the opposite of shy, but to be compleatly honest, when I try and go talk to somebody [even somebody I know] I'm compleatly shaking in my boots! And even more so with guys-- it can be a difficult thing, to learn how to talk to people comfortably. It takes prayer and practice!

    I recomend this song by ZOEgirl: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa8_oxm1nQM

    You may feel down in the dumps now, but how you see yourself isn't how God sees you. Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the hearts. You are His own creation, wonderfuly made. Jump5 has a song called "Dimond", that went:

    "Every time I turn the TV on
    See another pretty face on the screen
    Feels like I'm not good enough
    To be on the cover of a magazine

    Turn around, I look I the mirror
    And I wonder if I'll ever measure up
    All I want is someone to make it clearer
    Am I ever gonna find the perfect love?

    Then You break through the madness
    And You tell me how it is...

    You're a diamond that shines
    One of a kind
    A shimmering radiant star
    You're a flower in the rain
    Wonderfully made
    To shine like the sun
    You're a diamond

    Friends try and tell me just to loosen up a little
    You're gonna scare the good ones away
    Get a look with a hook, it's fundamental
    Come on girl, you gotta get into the game

    Something deep inside of me says
    Are you sure that you really want to play?
    Gotta trust your heart and not your head
    Instead of buying into the masquerade

    I'm not some decoration
    So would you tell me how it is...

    Don't matter if they tell you how to live
    Don't matter if they try and mold you
    Don't matter if they say what beautiful is
    You're a diamond cause He already showed you.

    ____

    You're more than a body, and a face and a shell-- you're a person, with a heart and soul and a Savior. If the guys can't see that, then they don't deserve you, or your time.
    RachelAllison
    @Sarah
    on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 9:33 am
    Thank you, Sarah. :)Your comment is encouraging to me. Letting go BECAUSE you love someone is a concept that I have tried again and again to explain to my friends who come to me seeking advice about guys, but they simply believe they can't do it. When the truth is, they don't want to do it... and I understand that, because I've been there. I didn't want to do it.. and I had to admit that to myself and to God. But there came a point where I was so desperate to grow closer to God, that I had do it, because I knew that if I didn't get things right in my relationship with God, no other relationship would ever be what it ought to be. And so, my desire for God overcame my desire for this young man, and that is all the work of God in my heart to draw me closer to Him. I can't boast in my own ability, because I fought it so much, but He was persistent in pursuing my heart and I'm ever thankful for that. <3
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    Re: feeling worthless
    on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 7:10 pm
    So thankful you sensed the Lordís presence in your time with the Lord recently, Brenna. Isnít it amazing-even on days when we donít sense Him in quite the same way He is still there and longs to spend time with us! The Creator of the Universe wants to spend time with you (Is. 62:5). That truth, my friend, makes you one incredibly significant young woman.

    So this summer why not begin each morning by asking the Lord to help you know and believe the love God has for you (1 John 4: 16). As you spend time in His Word each morning (Ephesians would be a great place for you to begin) ask Him to show you how He sees you. Youíre going to be amazed, my friend; simply amazed. And that one truth will change everything about you!

    When you get a chance check out Paulaís thoughts in this post http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=929.
    Madison Maher
    Too Good
    on Wednesday, February 20, 2013 at 1:22 pm
    I just finished your book an it was so good! I am in a relationship right now with this guy and it has been 14 months now. We are both very faith based and center our lives on God. Nothing this good has ever happened to me. He cares about me alot and cares about God even more. It seems to good to last. We are going to the same college next year. I want to know hat God has planned and if e is really the one. This whole relationship is eveything I have prayed for. He has everything on my list.
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    Autumn125
    on Sunday, October 13, 2013 at 7:32 am
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