Not What I Was Expecting, Part 2

posted by Guest Blogger on 07/05/12
Category: Guys; ; 42 comments

From the LYWB.com team: Yesterday, Ashley Mazelin shared her story about the unexpected ways God has worked in the area of her love life. If you missed that post, go back and read it here. We pick up her story after John shared his feelings for her and asked for permission to pursue her. Here's the rest of the story...

I was utterly shocked. I hadn't seen it coming. I spent the next several days talking to people that I respected, asking for advice, as well as praying about it. My couple at sidewalk cafe friend Katie prayed with me, asking God that whomever I wasn't supposed to be with would tell me that. After one week, I decided that I needed to continue dating Devin and see where things were going to go. I felt that was what God wanted me to do. In a way, I also felt that John deserved someone better than me—someone more refined, more ladylike, someone prettier, and better suited to serve with him in ministry.

That Thursday as I got in my car to go meet John and give him the hard news, my car refused to start. I started walking, which made me about fifteen minutes late. I told him that I respected him and was honored that he would want to pursue me, but I needed to see where things were going to go with Devin.

But for some reason, things with Devin died down after that. We never talked. When we did, it was awkward. I wasn't sure if I even liked him anymore, and I wasn't sure if he liked me either. I started to realize that he wasn't what God wanted for me, but was confused because I had been so confident that I was supposed to say no to John. I decided to just keep praying.

Right before spring break, Devin asked me to go on a walk. I assumed he was pursuing me again and was excited that he actually wanted to talk. But as we walked, he began pouring out his heart. "I was wrong about how I felt about you. I am not attracted to you, and I realize that this isn't meant to be. I am so sorry," he said. While my heart dropped, I instantly thought of Katie's prayer—this was God's hand in my life. Though I knew that, I still shed some tears. Then I realized God was still in control and had something better in mind. I also recognized that rejection from Devin didn't mean I wasn't good enough or pretty enough as I had once believed. My value was no longer found in what boys said about me, but what God already knew about me. He knew what I really needed, and I trusted Him to give me that—even if it wasn't what I thought I needed.

After spring break, I began running into John everywhere. I saw him in the bookstore, coffee shop, dining hall, and on the sidewalk. We began talking more, and I realized that I really did want to get to know him better. But I was afraid of making him feel like he was my backup plan. So I didn't do anything. I didn't seek him out. I didn't try to conjure up some plan to make us hang out. I just kept praying.

One day I had lunch with a mutual friend of ours. I poured out feelings, which she passed on to John.

So the next day John and I met for coffee ... and the rest is history.

Now we have been dating for several months, and it is so obvious to me that God was the one who brought us together and not me. The greatest thing that I learned was when in doubt, pray. It works. God knows what we need and would love to give it to us if we ask. This doesn't mean, however, that He is a genie in a bottle who will give you everything you ask for. He might just give you something that better aligns with His goal of making you who He created you to be. It might mean making you be single until you discover where your value is really found. It might mean taking you down a path of rejection until you find your acceptance in Him. Whatever it means, He is doing something great.

Is it hard for you to trust God with your love life? Are you worried He might do something unexpected, that you can't plan for? Take it from someone who's been there—if it's from God, getting what you least expect is better than you could hope for.

Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

Bethany

Wow!!
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 1:50 am

Thank you so much for sharing with us!! What an encouragement to totally trust God with my love life.
May the Lord bless you both in your life together!!

lolo

Sad and......Happy?
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 2:36 am

Thank you so much for sharing and I wish you and john the best! But It just seems sad to me that you did not stay emotionally pure or...stable. I am not trying to judge or be rude, but you poured out your heart to john while you were dating someone else?? I just don't see how that was right :( It seems as if each decision was guided by "feeling" and "emotion" instead of commitment. It really leaves scars when we do that :( I mean think of how many hearts were wounded including your own.
I think that Marriage or any relationship should be about commitment. You don't marry someone because your personality's match; you marry someone because God tells you too.

Thankyou!!
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 2:43 am

This is a great lesson and story to remind us that God is always in control. Even when we think we know best, or we think we have got things right, we should put our trust in God. Thankyou so much, this is a really great story. You really kept me hanging all night to find out what happened!! Thankyou.
Em :)

Lolo
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 2:49 am

True, but I think she wasn't sure where God was leading her, and that is why it is a story about putting our trust in God because He knows our plans. I understand your point, though. Hope this helps :)
Em

Megan

lolo
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 4:10 am

Devin and her weren't together at that point.

Mattea

Re:
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 7:52 am

I love that story...it taught me to love God first and seek Him with all your heart and He'll bring the perfect guy for you in His timing. :)

Godsmiracle

LYWB Blog = Blessing
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 8:34 am

There is no doubt that God has led me to this place. He has led me to read the book and doing so has led me to this awesome community of young girls who want to get closer to Christ! :) These stories have bless me big time, especially after a very difficult breakup with a guy from church. God never ceases to amaze me, He is too good! (And more detailed than any man will ever be lol).

marie sumo

Amazing story
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 8:35 am

wooowww your story is beautiful and amazing. Thank you for sharing it with us. I give my love life to God,but sometimes i try to make decision on my own concerning that area. I need to be faithful to Him and just wait patiently. I love this sooo much, it reminds me and help me rededicate this area to God. God bless your union with John.

Christina

The Other Part of my Story
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 8:42 am

I trust God to handle every part of my life, I want His will to be done. I kinda had that whole thing where i didn't feel i was good enough for the guy that i have been "unofficially dating". I liked him longer than the actual relationship that we've had. It was when i wasn't on the right path, and i thought i wasn't good enough for him so i basically pushed it out of my mind. Then, God started changing my heart and put me on the right path. I don't think that anymore. Our foundation for our relationship is God. We serve God and love God with all of our heart. We have talked and we agree on going to college, and as i have grown in God the plans i had have changed. I want to go to school to be a teacher, and i want to be a stay at home mom and homeschool my kids. That's what my guy wants for his wife when he gets married. And i had this plan before we even talked about it. Very kool how God works, God is perfect and has the perfect plan!

Robin

I second that
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 9:33 am

I was engaged to a guy before I many years before I met my husband. I realized before it was too late that we shouldn't get married. It was over 4 dateless years later that I met my husband. Don't be in a hurry. Wait for the man God has for you. He never makes mistakes and will always give you His best. Better to be "alone" with Christ than together with a man whom God did not chose for you.

Chey

Amazing and Unexpected
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 9:38 am

Don't you just love how when we trust and obey God that all these things are added unto us! "Sorrow lasts for the night but joy comes with the morning." Just because God closes the door for something doesn't mean he won't open it later or has something better for us. As Christians we have no need worry about anything since its all in God's hands. That doesn't mean we stop praying though. When we pray God can open doors and make His will easier for us to find for our lives! Not to mention the fellowship with Him through prayer.

Thanks for a beautiful about "All these things are added unto us".

Elaine

Re
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 11:05 am

I knew this in the back of my head, but I really needed the reminder. Thanks!

Sarah

amazing
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 11:17 am

This story is so cute! I'm glad I read it and it reminded me how God is always in control in our lives. Trusting Him is one of the best things we can do. I hope my love story is like hers <3

RachelAllison

Awwwee!
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 11:49 am

Love it! So amazing! God is truly good and has a better plan than we could ever dream up! Thank you so much for sharing with us, Ashley. :)

Tabby

How amazing!
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 1:57 pm

What a great story! It has made me want to trust God more with my love life and everything else for that matter. Thanks so much!

Awesome! + @lolo
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Oh my gosh, Ashley! don't you just love that when it's so obvious God has things happen so that His will can be done?! I hope things will continue to go wonderfully for you and John and I believe God will keep His hand on you two's relationship. :) <3 Also, I loved when you said,

"The greatest thing that I learned was when in doubt, pray. It works. God knows what we need and would love to give it to us if we ask. This doesn't mean, however, that He is a genie in a bottle who will give you everything you ask for. He might just give you something that better aligns with His goal of making you who He created you to be. It might mean making you be single until you discover where your value is really found. It might mean taking you down a path of rejection until you find your acceptance in Him. Whatever it means, He is doing something great."

That is very, very true! :)

@lolo - Someone else said that she wasn't with Devin at that time. Also, you said about deciding to marry someone based on God's will. Well, exactly: she realized that God was leading her to JOHN, not DEVIN. To quote what she said: "Now we have been dating for several months, and it is so obvious to me that God was the one who brought us together and not me." And note that she is not married, anyway; she is talking about dating. I think maybe you took some of her post the wrong way, so I hope I helped to clear some things up. :)

Brittany

Part 2
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Thanks again for the second post. I'm glad you found happiness, wish I did finally.

Katie

Thanks!
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 5:47 pm

This is a genuinely inspiring story! You obviously are a women of great wisdom. It is clear that you have a sincere heart for God!

WOW

WOW
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 7:05 pm

WOW

AnnaBelle

Re:
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Thank you so much for sharing your story Ashley... so far anyway. I do wish you and John the best!
I am very excited to see who and what God has in store for me! But in the meantime I'm letting it go and giving it to God, I too enjoy the unexpected.
Thanks again!

I just not sure
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 8:03 pm

lolo- I am just not sure what value emotional purity brings to the narrator? I am not trying to be confrontational, but it seems like if, in the context of G-d's plan, she refused to involve her emotions, she would be acting contrary to the plan for her. And outside of the plan, without some conflict, and sometimes pain, how can we come to value those things that are important such as love? If I never knew sorrow, how would I know I was happy?

Chey - It almost seems like you're saying that no input is required from Ashley and it's not only out of her hands but it would have happened with no involvement on her part. I have a friend who believes that whatever is the plan for her it will happen. And I keep telling her, that while there may be a plan, she would need to leave her house to be a part of it. It's just frustrating for me, to see her alone in her mid-30s, without love because she refuses to take any part in life.

Meg

Re: Ashley
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 11:36 pm

If you're wishing for God to bring "happiness" (i.e. a relationship) into your life, then your definition of happiness is all wrong, and you aren't ready for one. The reason God finally brought someone into Ashley Mazelin's life was because she finally knew that her happiness would be found in Him, not some guy. Until you fully understand that, a relationship, without a doubt, should not happen in your life, and if it does, it will end in a big fat mess. You are treating marriage as an idol, and you need to get your priorities in order before you are ready to have a boyfriend.

Rachel

Lolo
on Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 11:53 pm

I worry about your belief that a righteous courtship will be emotionally painless (or, at least that was my inference). I dated a guy who insisted I was the answer to his fervent prayers, and proposed. My mom, my friends, my family, all thought I should say yes, but God told me "no". It hurt worse than anything I'd ever done to break his heart. But I don't regret dating him. And I don't regret breaking up with him. I guess I really don't understand what you mean by emotional purity. I think I may know, but your application here is throwing me off. We don't always pick the eternal companion our first time at bat. God knows what he is doing, and sometimes its going to look like a big, emotional mess. But if you seek God in all things, then he has promised they are for our good.

Jemma

Spot on... again.
on Friday, July 6, 2012 at 12:21 am

How do these blogs continue to link into what is happening in my life? Oh wait, that's right. GOD IS AWESOME! Thank you so much for this post, please don't ever stop writing them. We're so blessed and they are really encouraging! Thanks <3

Follow up
on Friday, July 6, 2012 at 1:54 am

Meg - maybe I misstated my point. I guess I am saying what Rachel is. Just because it's from G-d doesn't mean it's not going to be messy. The whole point of experiencing life is to have experiences, good and bad and to learn from them and to grow. Perfection in any aspect of life doesn't exist. That's how you know when it is good because you've been through the bad.

just somebody

off topic
on Saturday, July 7, 2012 at 2:17 am

Are there any posts on friendships (with our girl friends)? How close should we get to them, and is it okay to tell them things you wouldn't tell your parents (not bad things, just personal feelings) and also, how much should age differences play into friendships? Is the whole 'best friend forever' thing healthy thinking? How close should we be to Christian friends who aren't exactly where we think they should be (aka, their morals or what-not are lower than expected) and how seriously should we take our friends advice/opinions? Is it possible to be too close to a friend? How can we show our love to long-distance friends who need us but are too far for us to literally 'be there'? When is it okay to tell a friend the truth (like, honest 'you need to change this such-and-such thing in your life, because right now this is not of God' or something along those lines)? How much should we rely on our friends? When is it right to go to them in a situation for whatever (shoulder to cry on, advice, etc)? How can we be ourselves (aka, normal Christian Bible-talk based convos) with friends who are Christians but don't always want to be 'preached' at, or don't like it? How can we love the friends that drive us bonkers sometimes (or more than sometimes)? How can I be a good, trustworthy, go-to-girl friend without coming across as obsessive or in their face? I want to love my friends and do stuff for them, but I don't want to scare them away-- I've done that before growing up and now I'm afraid to commit to the friends I have now. I'm afraid to say we're best friends when they say I'm theirs. I'm afraid of loosing friends. How can we be best friends with more than one person? Can we? Is it okay to talk about other friends in passing, because sometimes my friends get jelous and I've had people get mad and stop being my friend over OTHER friends. How should I relate to friend's parents? What do I do when my friends are having probs with parents, if I don't know their parents? Obviously I have lots of friendship questions, and if anyone has any advice for me I'd love to hear it because I feel like I'm trying to hit a target with a blindfold on-- I know what I want to do, but have no idea how to make it happen, because I can't see the way to do it. Any advice?

Anoymous

Any thoughts or how should I pray?:)
on Saturday, July 7, 2012 at 11:44 am

Thank-you for this post!!
I've been wondering the same thing, as I mentioned in the last post that God brought a friend back into my life after not talking to him for seven years! I'm still wondering why God brought him back in my life, I like him a lot, and still do, we haven't talked much, since our last date we went out on. And wondering what I should do, he did reply back that will talk soon, so I'm praying and asking God to show me what to do!

I just thought it was so random and a God ordained moment for me to meet an old friend of mine who is a believer, to meet him again after seven years.

I don't hear from him for a while, but as soon as I speak to one of my Christian mentors I trust I end up hearing from him. In some-way. So, what do you think I should do?

I want to wait patiently, it's hard, but when you're healing from something and waiting it's like God is this you or not? This is the first time in my life I've actually started to let a guy get to know me. I could use prayer in that area!! And healing from when I was little!

Anyhew,

Thank-you for this post!!! I'm looking forward to seeing what you might have to say:) I do believe in God's timing:)

Just Somebody & off topic
on Sunday, July 8, 2012 at 5:58 am

I don't know the answers to your questions, sorry. But they are great questions that I would also like to know the answers to. If anyone could answer them, or if LYWB could write something on friendships to answer these questions, that would be great!

I am trying to be a really good friend at the moment. I have three best friends, who go to a private Christian school with me. Two of them are Christian, and the third kind of tries to be popular and wants to fit in with the crowd. And apparently, being Christian is uncool so... I don't know what to say around her at the moment because she is influencing me to want to be 'popular' too. But I still love her to bits and want to be friends with her. What should I do?

I also have a nieghbour out of school who I am friends with, who is not a Christian. She is immature and irresponsible. I know she is not at all a good influence on me. She watches inappropriate movies, and listens to explicit music (which is on when I go to her house). I ask her to turn it off, but she makes fun of me and says "Oh are you to much of a goody-two shoes, Christian to listen to this. It won't hurt you." She is also always talking about boys and goes out ice-skating on Friday nights, and meets boys much older than her. She always comes back and tells me that boys who don't even know her are asking to go out with her, and to hook up with her. I am really worried about her; she is only 15. She wears tops thats reveal her stomach and chest area and you can always see her 'behind'. She also wears really short- shorts. She always tells me that my clothes look silly and that no boy will ever like me if I wear those clothes. She tries to convince me to go out with her on Friday nights, but no way am I going.
Reading back what I have just written about her, I realise that she is not the right friend for me. But because she is my neighbour, and our mum's are friends, I can't simply say "I don't want to be friends" If you know what I mean. I really don't want to be influenced by her though! What should I do???

Thanks,
Em :))

Gabi

Lolo
on Sunday, July 8, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Wow, what a wonderful post. Thanks so much for sharing!

Lolo, I understand where you're coming from, but I think you might've looked too far into what she said. She and Devin weren't dating at the time, he started pursuing her later. I agree with Rachel, not every relationship will be perfect and pain free. Even the purest of relationships will have some struggle and heartache. But God uses trials like that to teach us something new and bring us closer to Him. It's through these times that He opens our eyes. And because we are human we're all going to make mistakes. Hope that helps some. (:

just somebody

Re: Em
on Sunday, July 8, 2012 at 7:56 pm

The same way your neighbor is strongly rooted and firm in HER ways, you must be in yours as well-- you said that she's a bad influence on you-- and you have the chance to be a good influence on her. If she's not afraid to talk about her world and the ways she lives, don't be afraid to talk about yours--don't forget to pray for her constantly. Fervent prayer goes a long way! I know what you mean about having inapropriot friends-- I've had some in the past. I learned some bad words from them and that was one bad thing they rubbed off on me [even though I don't use them out loud, I still remember them in my head, which I wish didn't happen], then there was the tight clothes, inapropriot behavior and obsession over guys and being cool. You know, at chruch [they weren't there for God, they just went because someone broght them] they'd try comunion so they could have wine and then they'd play on their video game things and write eachother messages on them the whole time. They had the potential to be nice, but they were so young and had so much worldliness on their side, it was hard to get past. Dirty mouths and bad actions WILL rub off if you aren't carful. Proverbs says to steer clear of the type. If that's hard, pray about it. And stand firm in YOUR faith in the meantime-- make it clear you take it seriously and believe it's all for real. You're not doing it because your parents make you or anything like that, but because God is awesome and right in all of His ways. Also, don't be too afraid to bring up God and talks about sin and why it's bad-- you never know who will listen, or if your words will play apart later in her life [no one wants to hear they're sinning, but if she truely values the friendship tell her it's for her good, and that you say it because you want the best for her]. Truth be told, I wish I could go back to my old bad influence friends and talk more about God. But I can't. I missed the window of opportunity. If you don't tell them, who will? How will they know what they have never heard? Does she know her clothes are attracting the wrong attention and are very UN atractive to guys who would actaully love her and cherish her? Have her read some books by Dannah Gresh, or Eric and Leslie Ludy's love story. Nudge at her to begin a yearning for true love. Even offer to pray with her and to be there for her to talk to anytime she needs a shoulder to lean on. And don't forget to remind her about the everlasting arms holding you up in your life-- Jesus Christ. Always put Him in the center of everything, and you won't go wrong. Now, she may not like it, and it may be hard, or ackward-- but it's not a sin to boast in God. It is wrong however, to refrain from worshiping so not to disturb the unbelievers around you. Be a light that so shines for all to see-- Jesus said we don't light a lamp and then hide it under a basket, but put it on a table so all can see it's light. Be that light! Praying for you and your friends!

Also, don't take my advice as all truth, [I wouldn't purposly lie to you, but my words aren't perfect like God's are. I'm a person just like you] so be sure to look into friendship in GOD'S WORD and learn what He has to say about it. Pray a lot before you do anything. And don't be worried or afraid, because God goes with you wherever you go. He's there, even when you're in that weird situation with one of your non-Christian friends.

Also, remember, YOU CAN'T SAVE YOUR FRIEND, and your actions can't, and nothing you can do can save. But God, working THROUGH you can. So if you don't feel like you're seeing a difference in her, and you've been trying to help her see the light of Christ for a while, remember, her salvation isn't up to you, but God, as in, you can't OPEN her eyes to see the truth, or open her ears to hear, but God can. Pray that God will soften her hear to accept His Son. You may never see a change in her as long as you know her-- but you'll be planting the seed and giving it its first water- and others after you will *hopfully* continue to water it too, and one day, she may be saved, through the never ceasing prayers of those who loved her enough to pray, and those who spoke up when it was hardest. You may never see it-- and even if she is saved and you never get to see it because you're in different sides of heaven, have faith that Jesus can and *hopfully!* will pay it all in her life.

Heart work comes before outer work. She maybe pondering things in her heart and not be at the point of changing things 'outside' her head yet. But keep faith! God put you in her life for a reason-- don't let the opportunity of blessing this girl with the BEST BLESSING anyone could EVER GIVE HER slip away! You've been given a great gift-- you can share your faith with this girl.

Thankyou- Just Somebody
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 2:25 am

Wow, thankyou so much for your advice. I have tried to share my faith with her before, but she accuses me of being preachy and tells me that just cause I am am a Christian, doesn't mean I should talk about God with her. She tells me to save it for my Christian friends. Sometimes she seems as if she really doesn't want anything to do with God. I am not going to give up though. Although I don't want to be preachy or mean, I can't simply hide my light under a basket like you said. And I am going to stay firm in my faith, and not let her determine my beliefs, or influence me to do bad things. Thankyou sooo much for taking the time to read my comment, and to reply to it with such great advice.

Thanks Just Somebody,
Em :))

just somebody

Re: Em
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 3:00 am

Way to go Em!:) I'll be praying for revival in your friend's heart, and that God's Spirit will shine brightly in you when you're around her:) Your actions won't go unoticed-- they'll effect your friend [for every action there is a re-action] and they will be pleasing to God as well. God bless you in this current situation in your life-- may He guide your words and actions and use you to draw your neighbor to Himself:)

Carrie, with the LYWB team

Re: Em
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Just Somebody gave you great advice in thinking through your friendship with your neighbor. Praying today the Lord will help you see this friend as He sees her… a young woman who needs to know the love of Jesus.

Also wanted you to know the LYWB Team has a number of great posts on friendship. I’ve included a few of them here for you, but check out the other links under “relationships”.

http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=913 – The Golden Rule is Tarnished
http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=912 – Four Friends Every Girl Needs
http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=910 – I’m Lonely Too
http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=801 – Three Ways to Have Better Friendships
http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=458 – What is True Friendship
http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=457- Too Many Friends
http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=334 – Saying Goodbye to a Friendship

Carrie, with the LYWB team

Re: off topic
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Great questions, friend! I love your heart to connect well with other young women. Check out the posts I mentioned to Em and then let us know if you have additional questions.

Carrie, with the LYWB team

Re: off topic
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Great questions, friend! I love your heart to connect well with other young women. Check out the posts I mentioned to Em and then let us know if you have additional questions.

Thanks LYWB&Just Somebody
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Wow, thankyou so much. I probably should have looked a bit better for things on friendship. I will be sure to check these links out though! Thankyou for praying for me! I really appreciate all your prayers and advice. And thankyou for taking the time to read my comment AND give me great feedback and advice.(Which was very, very appreciated!)
God bless you,
Em :)

Abby

Thanks!
on Tuesday, July 10, 2012 at 1:34 pm

This was a great encouragement, but I think it applies to a lot of other areas of life, too. Thanks so much for encouraging me to pray when I'm in tough situations. :)

Mere N.

What would you do?
on Thursday, July 12, 2012 at 2:41 pm

I'd like to request a bit of advice dealing with this area.

Well, first off, I've never had a boyfriend. At this point, I don't even know if i even have a prospect.
I am, as it is called, a nerd. I have glasses, wear my hair in a ponytail, and am in love with science, physics, vehicles, and well, NASCAR.
I have this envisioned 'Dream Guy'. He's okay with my vehicle obsessions. He likes contemporary Christian music or hymns. He's not going to ignore me because I'm homeschooled. He wants kids. He's nice to my large family. He loves me.

Right now, things look pretty hopeless. And I'm also a little upset because there was this guy, (kinda nerdy like me) but he ignores me and then I think he quit going to our church, so I haven't seen him in a while. I decided after talking to my mom, getting her advice, and praying some, to drop him... From being my crush.

I would love to have a boyfriend/fiancè/husband. I can't stand being alone, because it makes me feel worthless and upset. I truly hope that somewhere in God's plan for me, it involves a husband.

Also, recently, I decided that I would love (in a year or two of instruction) to become a Sunday school teacher. I love being with and around kids and teaching them/ helping them memorize scripture.
This may sound strange, but I feel like God is guiding/Telling me to becoming a teacher. I've been in the word and in prayer a lot more lately, and God gave me an opportunity last week to be an assistant teacher. I loved it, and wanted to be THE teacher.
However, I feel that if I had a boyfriend, I wouldn't be able to focus on my dream of teaching as efficiently.
I know what I HAVE to do and where God's calling me, But I want so badly to feel loved. It hurts to see couples together, holding hands. I've never had my hand held like that. I LONG for that sense of loving, but I'm afraid that if I decide to pursue a relationship instead of being a teacher, I'll miss the oppurtunity and make my single years worth nothing. On the other hand, I'm also slightly afraid that if I pursue the teaching, I'll never get a boyfriend, be single and lonely for the rest of my life, never have kids/get to raise godly children, but I will have served God through teaching.

I know I should trust that God will work it out, but things seem kinda hopeless right now. It's hard to trust.
What should I do?

Chey

Re: *R
on Monday, July 16, 2012 at 9:40 am

I totally see where you are coming from! I reread my comment and saw what you meant. The main thing I was trying to get across was that even when times are tough and you don't understand God's reasons, it is all in His hands. You're right, we still need to stay involved and not take a back seat in OUR lives. At the same time though God's Word says if we obey and follow Him all these things will be added unto us. By running back to God when times are tough we are only furthering His will for our lives. We still need to pray and follow God but we shouldn't be too concerned with what tomorrow brings because if we are following God it is all in His hands. God has an amazing plan for us that can only be achieved if we trust Him with everything and keep our eyes on Him!! I'll add your friend to my prayer journal: that she would grow closer to God and she would fulfill what He has planned for her.

Thanks for telling me how my comment sounded so I could elaborate! :)

Lorree, with the LYWB team

Mere N.
on Monday, July 16, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Thank you so much, Mere N, for your sensitive heart to do the will of the Lord in your life. I am thankful that you are talking with your mom about what is going on in your heart and head. I encourage you to continue to keep those lines of communication open with her. She is there to walk with you through each day, pray for you, encourage you and keep you pointed toward the Lord.

I encourage you to continue to pray and do the next right thing that God is leading you to do. You can trust that He loves you and He has your best interests at the center of His heart for you. He knows what your future holds and can be trusted to be with you each step of the way (Ps. 139:15-16). He will never leave you nor forsake you (Josh. 1:9), sweet friend. He loves you far more than any man on earth ever can or ever will. His love is everlasting.

I encourage you to spend these years of your life saturating yourself in God’s Word and becoming the godly woman He desires for you to be. As you find your security in God and in His love, and faithfully serve Him in the areas He leads, you can trust that if it is in God’s plan for you to be married, He will bring the right guy along at the right time. Tell God your heart desires, Mere N. Pour out your heart to Him (Ps. 62:8) and trust His heart for you!

Anonoymous 101

Any thoughts? :)
on Monday, July 23, 2012 at 11:44 pm

HI! I have a question for you I loved your story!!! Currently, I'm working through an issue that I finally started working through!

And after nearly seven years of someone I liked when I was in high-school I got reconnected when I went back to school! It was a God ordained moment, I've really been praying a lot about my friend, I really do like him a lot, and I've noticed that whenever I got to a counseling session after I work through some issues and heal, it's like I get reconnected and talk to him a little bit.

I know when we first met it was a God ordained moment because I haven't spoken to him in nearly seven years!!!

My question is, how do you know when it's a God thing or when it's not? This time I decided to continue to pray about my friend who I really like, while I heal and I know now would not be a good time for me to be in a relationship, but I wonder if GOd is up to something. If that makes sense. Does anyone have any advice for me?

My question is how should I pray? How should I know when to move on and is this God? Thank-you!!!! :)

Sarah, with the LYWB team

@Anonymous101...
on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 at 10:54 pm

If this is the one God has for you, He will bring it about when the time is appropriate. If you already know this is not a good time for you to be in a relationship, I encourage you to trust the Lord for His timing and for any relationship in the future. How to pray? Thank the Lord for carrying you through this time of difficulty; thank the Lord that He is working to give you wise counsel to bring healing; thank the Lord that He brought encouragement to you by giving you opportunity to reconnect with this friend; thank the Lord that you can trust Him for your future; thank the Lord that His heart is toward you...He only wants good for you! Then talk to Him about how you feel, and ask Him to help you celebrate a "friendship" without looking for a "relationship". He will no doubt help you, I am praying for you this night.

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