When You Can't Stop Thinking of Someone

posted by Guest Blogger on 07/09/12
Category: Guys; ; 83 comments

Once when I sought God about whether He wanted me to go on a missions trip or not, I found that God's answer was wait. Why? Because He knew that my motive for going was a boy. I didn't even know that I was idolizing him, but once I slowed down enough to listen to God's examination of my heart, there that boy was, sitting on the throne.

As the song says, "Anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol." At first, this seems a bit harsh. It's just a song; that doesn't mean it's biblical, right? These questions went through my mind once or twice as well, but Jesus said, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind" (Matt. 22:37, emphasis added). I couldn't stop thinking about this boy, so I knew I definitely had a serious problem with idolatry.

As the song also says, "Tell your friends that this is where the party ends—until you're broken for your sins you can't be social." Did that really mean I had to stay home from the mission trip? I wasn't sure at the time, but I did know that motives mattered to God- "Man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart" (1 Sam. 16:7). If I wanted to be like God, I needed to take my motives seriously, too, even if it did end up meaning I had to stay home.

And so the journey began. I had to figure out how get rid of this idol somehow. I had to find a way to control my thoughts. At first, I did what I thought was best and took the whole "Tell your friends that this is where the party ends" thing to the extreme. I thought that it'd be best if I stayed away from him for a while . . . but it wasn't long until I figured out that that wasn't going to work. Because we attended the same church and had many mutual friends, he was almost everywhere I went.

I became frustrated and didn't know what to do, but then I had a little "episode" with God one Sunday morning. God's Spirit spoke to my heart saying, "You need to stop running from him and instead, run to Me for help."

To be clear, if that boy were intentionally tempting me, it would be good to run away just as Joseph ran from the queen. But because it was my own thoughts that were tempting me, I needed to let God deal with my thoughts, not with the boy.

Friends, this is one of the most valuable habits you can learn in your walk with God! Place matters in God's hands, relying completely on His strength and wisdom. This is one of the reasons Jesus died for us! He knew we didn't have the strength to battle our sin nature on our own, so He took our punishment and sent the Holy Spirit to help us!

In return, we need to learn to be faithful in confessing our weakness and running to Him for help. When you rely on the Spirit, you catch a glimpse of who God is. Your heart realizes that He is everything that you need. Whether it's idolatry or a bad attitude, no matter the sin, when you rely on God's strength, change happens.

Would you watch the video at the beginning of this post again? This time, pray first. Ask God to show you anything in your life that you can't stop thinking of that is an idol. And then instead of trying to fix it yourself, run fast toward Jesus with it confessing your idolatry and asking for His help to overcome.

Note: This post was written by guest blogger Deanna Martin.

Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

girl

wow
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 1:08 am

I'm not usualy moved so deeply by posts on here. This was very convicting and ground shaking. Thank you for this, and above all, thank God for putting this in your hearts to post it and for leading me here to read it!!!

Bethany

Thanks
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 1:35 am

Thank you SO much for being open and sharing this with us - it is SUCH a blessing to see that there ARE other young women who struggle with the same things that I do, and have come to the same conclusions that I am also learning.

May the Lord RICHLY bless you in your walk with Him!

Lau

thank you
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 1:54 am

This was just what I needed to hear, because I'm in that situation. And it's good to remind ourselves that God is the only one who can help us.
Thank you so much for this post

Tabby

Wow!
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 3:11 am

This is one of the most prefectly timed posts on here for me! Just today I was complaining that I couldn't get a certain boy off my mind. And I've been convicted of also having wrong motives for doing some youth group and church activities. I guess I mostly want the boy to think of me as a good person and I really just want to see him all the time! Thanks for posting this!

Anonymous

Re:
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 4:36 am

I wish Jesus was on my mind all the time, but He isn't. That's another thing to pray for.

Anna Ludwika

Re:
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 7:28 am

Sadly so true... And so familiar. It seems I'm back to one year ago deciding what are my motives for one particular activity.
Thankfully God listened to my prayers and helped to deal with the idolatry through the course of the activity and allowed for growth instead of sin. He is faithfull.

Elaine

Re
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 7:40 am

I have struggled with this sooo much lately. I'm almost between a rock and a hard place. This gie is the only gie at our church besides his little brothers and he's a month younger than me. I really feel like I need to befriend him, and I would like to, but I have a crush on him! There used to be two other gies but their families left a few months ago and certain things have happened that makes him think they don't like him.
Giving my thought life up to God is really hard. I'm also sort of confused about how much is too much.

Christina

Idolatry
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 8:38 am

It's part of the commandments not to do idolatry. Have you realized this idolatry can be more than just people? Look at your life and examine what you put before God. Is there something that makes you put God on the back burner? He needs to go first and everything else can wait. For me it used to be music and TV. I prayed (and got an accountability partner to pray too) that He would change my heart and change me from my ways. Now i hardly watch TV, and when i do listen to music it is Christian.

Chey

Really Needed That
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 8:52 am

God has been speaking to my heart lately on this topic. I have the same problem. A go to the same church as this guy and our parents are friends so we hang out a lot. God is telling me to wait and I am but my mind and heart wander in his direction way too often. I've been noticing that anything you put on the throne of your heart besides God will eventually destroy you. I value this guy's friendship and want to keep it the way it is till God says we're ready.

Thanks for a great post that is pushing me more toward God and away from my idol. :)

Rachel

Wow
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 11:25 am

This is really what I needed to hear. I have realized I've been thinking way too much about a certain boy and I had tried to block him out of my life for a while but I realize that isn't very fair to him because it's not his fault, it's mine. Thank you so much for this post. I now know I need to run towards God and not run away from this boy in order to fix the idolatry problem.

Julia

Thank you!
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 12:03 pm

This post is sooo true for me right now!! God definitley had me read this one when I came across it. I was just on a vacation with a few other families and there was a guy that I really liked on the trip as well. On the car ride home, all I could think about was him and those thoughts were just controlling my mind and my attitudes. I was in church yesterday asking God how I can escape from this idolitry and adultery of heart and this post has really helped me to find the answer; RUN TO GOD!!!! So, because of this I am now going to seek God all the more. Thank you soooo much again for this encouraging and very helpful post.

Beka

Re:
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 12:26 pm

I thank God for this perfectly-timed post!!! I needed to hear this today. May God help us all to put Him first.

kelsey

Thank You So Much
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 1:51 pm

I really am starting to believe that God has you guys posting things at the times that the same time its going on in my life. There is a guy at my church that is my best friend & like my brother, but everywhere we go (even at church!) people think we're a couple. I've been struggling about how I should approcoah the situation and reading this article really helped. I realize now that I need to go to God about it and focus on Him.

AnnaBelle

Thanks!
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Wow! Thank you so much for these posts! It's so amazing how God has you post the right things at the right times for all of us. I'm getting ready to go to camp and the theme this year is "Let Go and Let God". I'm already letting go of some things... and thinking about guys is one of them (and probably one of the hardest too). I now know I need to run to God for help... with Him, all things are possible!

Kat

wow
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Thanks for sharing this. I haven't really been this moved by anything. I'm happy im not the only one dealing with this.

May the Lord be with you as you take this walk with Him. :)

Marie Sumo

Re:
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Wooww this is just what i need to hear. I have been making a boy my idol these past days,all i do is think about him and maybe,just maybe he will be willing to give me what i want. I know that he can't,be i can't stop thinking of him. Thank you for this post and song,i haven't been faithful to God lately because things are not going well with me and i think God doesn't want to help me and give me a piece of mond and joy. But i need your prayers that i won't feel this way about God and i will go back under his presence and stay there faithfully.

Kristen

Thank you
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Thank you sooo much for writing this… I was having the same exact problem (minus the missions trip) of putting that boy first in my mind and life. I am trying to change my ways with Gods help. This really made me see what was coming first in my life… so thanks again I really appreciate it.

confused.

Thank you!
on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 9:59 pm

I needed to hear this.

Valencia

I needed to see this
on Tuesday, July 10, 2012 at 12:04 am

This post was right on time!! Let God continue to use you. And this song is awesome. Love it.

I_luv_uke

Thanks!
on Tuesday, July 10, 2012 at 1:32 am

This was the perfect time 4 me to hear this..thank u so much 4 posting this<3

Help!

Off Topic :/
on Tuesday, July 10, 2012 at 6:32 am

Hey, thanks for this awesome post!

Sorry, this is really off topic, but it's really bothering me. It's my parents. They are driving me insane at the moment. And don't get me wrong, I love them to bits and love spending time with them... BUT they have been really in my space at the moment. I feel like they are invading my privacy. I know they worry and care about me, and don't want me to grow up, but they are constantly coming into my room and just lyeing on bed, just to 'hang' with me. And honestly I think thats' so, so sweet and I am so lucky to have parents who want to spend time with me. But I need my space. I am a teenage girl. I wish they wouldn't always come in and check on me. They also tell me I spend too much time in my room. Fair enough. So I went into the garage and exercised for a little while, but then my mum said that I had spent too much time out there and that I had to come inside. I cant win. If i spend lots of time with her, sometimes we get on each others nerves, so I retreat to my room. I love to read and thats what I spend alot of my time doing. I love them both to bits though and it's not that I don't appreciate them or anything, but like any teenage girl I need just a little space. Is that wrong? As I am writing this, my mum came into my room. I asked her politely if she could leave for a little and then I would come downstairs, I just wanted to finish something. Then she wanted to talk about the whole privacy problem. I explained to her that I just wanted to have a bit more space, but that ended up with her leaving the room holding back tears. I wasn't trying to hurt her, and now I am upset and in tears, feeling bad. I am going through a super tough time at the moment that only three people know about; neither of them are my parents or family, but I can't tell them. Things with them are tough, and all that 'other' stuff is tough, aswell as trying to hide it all, school, and just being a teenage girl is just all so tough!! I don't know if I can handle it all anymore. :(( What should I do? Am I doing something wrong, because I feel like I am? I feel so bad. I will definately talk to God about it, but I am so confused at the moment. I am surprised that I even have the courage to write this because I am so scared they will read this. Thank you
Anonymous

Anonoymous-101

Would this be a sin by running away from men even if God was bringing someone into your life?
on Tuesday, July 10, 2012 at 1:37 pm

"You need to stop running from him and instead, run to Me for help." This line perfectly describes me when it comes to relationships!!!

I was very hurt, when I was little, (long story if you catch my drift....) Forgiveness however is a key issue in healing and for freedom!

Anyhew, when I was in high-school and college anyone who would ask me out, I would always run away!! I thought everyone was like my former babysitter... God broke that lie! (Long story)

I'm trying not to do what I did last time by running away! Is running away still a sin?

Because I was hurt when I was little, and now I'm dealing with that lovely issue... Good times, not really, something I'm still working through.

Does that make sense? It's like this constant barrier for me, to get past from running away!

Thank-you this really seriously hit a mark with me! Running, gets you know where! Does anyone have any scriptures to recommend? I really do want to be healed and it's been a long journey!

Thank-you again this gave me something to think about!!!:)

Anonoymous-101

One-last thing!!!:)
on Tuesday, July 10, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Sorry, I kind of repeated myself, I guess the barrier for me is running away, even when I like someone! And they may like me!

Thank-you for your help!!! And this post!!!:)

Lorree, with the LYWB team

Anonymous - Help!
on Tuesday, July 10, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Hey friend, sometimes these things can really bring our emotions to the surface, can’t they. I think these blogs might be helpful to you as you seek to work through this difficult time with your parents.

Ways to improve your relationship with your parents (http://tinyurl.com/7xesoqu)
How to get your parent’s trust back (http://tinyurl.com/6p9kwv6)

Have you thought of writing a letter to your parents explaining your feelings about this? Sometimes it can be easier to express our emotions in a letter. Give them time to read it, process it and then schedule a family meeting with both your parents present and talk through each of your thoughts.

I encourage you to keep praying and asking God to direct and prepare the way for this to happen. Both you and your parents will be stronger and your relationships will be better as you open up and share your hearts with each other.

Anonymous (Help)

Thanks LYWB
on Tuesday, July 10, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Thanks Lorree, my mum explained to me, that she just cared about me and that she checks on me just to make sure I am ok. I really, really don't think I need to be checked up on, to see if I'm ok, and nor do I want to be checked up on, but, I want to honour my parents and their decisions. It is nice of them to care about me, because I know that not all parents care about their kids like mine do. I think God wants me to see, that I should be grateful for my parents, and possibly honour them more. So that is what I will do.

I was going to write a letter, but my mum talked to me, so I don't need to anymore. Thanks for the links, I will try them out. Thanks for your advice, it really helped.
God bless you <3

Lorree, with the LYWB team

Marie Sumo
on Tuesday, July 10, 2012 at 8:47 pm

LinaFeezel

LYWB
on Wednesday, July 11, 2012 at 12:39 am

I am in a bible study with a couple girls from my school and we are all going through this book together. It is truly life changing. I have learned so much, and am finally able to check out the website!
I have one friend I really like. And yeah, it's a guy. I can't really figure out what is going on. I don't know if I think about him too often or if I am doing anything ungodly in the process of trying to get to know him better. I pray about it a lot and I hope that this study can help me to learn more aswell.

Thank u so much, u really don't know how greatly this has impacted me!

Lorree, with the LYWB team

Anonymous 101
on Wednesday, July 11, 2012 at 11:56 am

That is so sad about what happened when you were a little girl. As God continues to heal your heart, mind and soul, He will give you wisdom in the relationships in your future. He’ll continue to show you that not all guys are like your babysitter. He will give you the strength to learn to trust again. And I believe when God brings the right guy along, dear friend, he will patiently continue to pursue even if you push away. God will get you through this, dear friend!

Brittany

Re:
on Wednesday, July 11, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Thanks for the post, and once again, I'm stuck in the same situation, but not giving up.

Sarah, with the LYWB team

@LinaFeezel...
on Wednesday, July 11, 2012 at 11:04 pm

God promises to give you wisdom about your situation as you read, study and pray! "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:5 Continue on seeking Him, LinaFeezel! I have prayed for you tonight that God will answer and give you peace and direction!

Anonoymous 101

Re:
on Thursday, July 12, 2012 at 12:13 am

Hi Lorree!!

Thank-you so much this post came in perfect timing!!

Something, God is teaching me to begin to forgive and forget the past, that hasn't been easy! Thank-you for the encouragement, like I want to be in a relationship with the right person, but I don't want to push that person away!

Thank-you also, that gave me something more to think about! Blessings!!:)

Tessa

Jimmy Needham!!!
on Thursday, July 12, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Jimmy Needham does it again. His music speaks straight to me and is so... just DEEP! Thank you for sharing it, and your story; I went through something similar :)

Katie

Thank you!
on Tuesday, July 17, 2012 at 6:27 am

Thank you so much for posting this message. It really is so encouraging to read that other people are/have been going through what I am going through, and to read that they aren't afraid of running to God. That even when we put ourselves in the mess, all we need to do is run to Him. Thank you so much! (You're blog is reaching the otherside of the world!)

Katie

Thank you!
on Tuesday, July 17, 2012 at 6:28 am

Becca

Thank You
on Tuesday, July 17, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Thank you for this post. It was needed.

RuthAnne

Re:
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 1:37 am

BOOM.
Wow. Does God know what we need, or what? This song is amazing, convicting and I plan on writing the lyrics down and praying over them. Wow. Thank you for posting this!
May Christ have all our hearts and be the center of our lives and may we continue to fight with all we have for godliness and pure hearts.
Jesus, break our hearts of our idols and replace them with yourself.

sondra

when dose it stop the thinking about him
on Saturday, July 21, 2012 at 12:40 am

hi i was touch about this blogg,Just need this thinking about him to be over i pray an ask God is he ment to be in my life ? i even push him away when he show me effection we did not see each other for two years then he turn up in my path very qickly i have not seen him since. He gave me a hug and that hug in his arms seem so long..like he didnt want to let me go,I love God and dont want to fall into a man world i want only to think of God but this guy is always there,,i just want it over please advise me ...kind regards Sondra:) bless you all"

g

Godsprincess

When does it stop the thinking about him
on Sunday, July 22, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Sondra,
Wow, I completely know how you feel!! For along time I really liked this boy who went to my church. While he never encouraged me in any way, in fact he was really shy, I couldn't stop thinking about him. It has been about 3 years and I have finally come to think of him as just a friend. So basically the only advice I have for you honey is, pray, ask God to lead you in this how ever he wants, talk to your friends about it. my friends helped me a lot with this. Study God's word. make him your first love. This won't always be easy. As I said before, It took me over 3 years to get over this guy. I can't tell you how freeing it is to let it go though. Good luck sondra!

Mae

Help!!!!
on Monday, July 23, 2012 at 3:14 pm

I totally agree but I'm a person who has all ways taken care of herself and and her younger brother so when it comes to God or any one else taking care of me it fells wrong how do I let God take care of my problems?

Carrie, with the LYWB team

Re: Help
on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 at 11:37 am

Entrusting our lives to the Lord, comes as we get to know Him, Mae. Trust is built as we begin to get into the Word of God and learn just how awesome He really is. It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man (Psalm 118:8).
Here’s a link to a great little Bible Study that will help you get to know the One that loves you so, my friend -
(http://store.precept.org/p-535-lord-i-want-to-know-you.aspx) - Lord I Want To Know You.

Mae

Thanks
on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Thank you for replying I will look at the bible study

Carrie, with the LYWB team

Re: when dose it stop the thinking about him
on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 at 3:03 pm

I’m so glad you love the Lord, Sondra. You can rest in His love for you and in knowing that His plan for you is beyond anything you could ever ask or imagine (Jer. 29:11).

When your mind begins to wander to the “what-if” of your relationship with this young man, take those thoughts “ captive” ( 2 Corinthians 10:5) and replace them by beginning to pray for the woman this young man will marry one day. Pray that He will be a godly husband and father. Pray that his family will be used to further the Kingdom of God in their place of influence. Pray that their family will be blessed by God. You’ll be amazed at how your mind is renewed as you refused to dwell on the “ what-ifs” and focus on crying out to God.

Mae

Help
on Wednesday, July 25, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Umm. I can't find the website could you try writing it down again please thanks.

Carrie, with the LYWB team

Re:
on Wednesday, July 25, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Hey, Friend ~

Sorry about that… try this:

http://store.precept.org/p-535-lord-i-want-to-know-you.aspx

Let me know if you get it...

Mae

thanks
on Sunday, July 29, 2012 at 11:09 am

Yeah I found it I'll talk to my parents about it

maria

thank you (but i still need some help)
on Tuesday, August 7, 2012 at 6:28 pm

i just wanted to say is that i LOVED what you wrote i made me really think. but i'm still having the problem i REALLY, REALLY, REALLY like this guy and i can't stop thinking about him. morning, noon, and night that's when i think about him and i try not to think about him but no matter what i can't stop! and i can't talk to my friends or family because they don't know that i like him and if they new they would tell him >_< so someone PLEASE help me!!!!

emo

??
on Sunday, August 12, 2012 at 11:19 pm

how do u post ur own things like this? not just comment i mean start ur own

Anonymous

NEED HELP
on Tuesday, August 14, 2012 at 1:59 am

I really like this guy. We hang out all the time and I like him and he likes me. Even though he's not my boyfriend or anything I do think about him all the time. Im constantly texting him and if not im messaging him on facebook. Im happy i read this but I do want to get rid of this problem. It's really hard not to think about this person. HELP PLEASE!

Sarah, with the LYWB team

@maria...
on Tuesday, August 14, 2012 at 6:18 pm

That's the problem with an idol! It covers up your thinking. So, I encourage you, maria, to do just as the blog has suggested. Read it again, pray through each phrase, and ask the Lord to help you. He hears the prayers of His children, and He answers. Have you trusted in Him to help you and called upon His name?

The following is the part I would pray through phrase by phrase...

"Friends, this is one of the most valuable habits you can learn in your walk with God! Place matters in God's hands, relying completely on His strength and wisdom. This is one of the reasons Jesus died for us! He knew we didn't have the strength to battle our sin nature on our own, so He took our punishment and sent the Holy Spirit to help us!

In return, we need to learn to be faithful in confessing our weakness and running to Him for help. When you rely on the Spirit, you catch a glimpse of who God is. Your heart realizes that He is everything that you need. Whether it's idolatry or a bad attitude, no matter the sin, when you rely on God's strength, change happens.

... And then instead of trying to fix it yourself, run fast toward Jesus with it confessing your idolatry and asking for His help to overcome."

It takes a firm choice and time and energy to follow Him and get rid of an idol! But, believe me, it will be worth it!!

Carrie, with the LYWB team

emo
on Tuesday, August 14, 2012 at 8:44 pm

There are many sites on the internet that will walk you through the process of starting your own blog, step by step. I encourage you to let your parents know what you want to do so they can help you walk through the process. That will also provide some accountability and direction as you venture into this new area.

Obsessed

Not strong enough
on Friday, August 24, 2012 at 7:45 am

Hey, well, i know this post is fairly old, but imma post anyways. :/
So this sounds really stupid, and i cant believe im putting this on the net, but i have this like, obsession with one direction. And i KNOW it turnng into idolatary, but i just cant stop! Its not sexual or anything, but i know its bad for me, and God is a jealous god, and i know he hates it! I think that its a way for me to find my confindence, which annoys me sk much, cause i know i should be finding my confidence from god. I know what my problem is, but i just dont know how to stop. I feel like my relationship with God is slipping away and all i can do is watch.
Please reply soon, cause the sooner i can b w/ God, the better.
X.

Sarah, with the LYWB team

@Obsessed...
on Saturday, August 25, 2012 at 11:54 pm

Are you sure you can't stop? God says He has given you everything you need for life and godliness. So, I encourage you to find a verse or two in the Bible that speaks to your obsession. Memorize the verse/verses and say it to yourself every time you start to obsess over this thing that controls you. Immediately turn your heart to God and let Him fill your thoughts. Remind yourself that Jesus died on the cross to give you a life of freedom from sin. (Do you really want to do something that God hates when He paid such a price for you?) I am praying for you tonight. May God convict your heart, lead you into obedience, and bring you to a place of abundant life in Him.

Monika

....
on Wednesday, September 5, 2012 at 11:45 pm

So there is this guy named Johnathon that I dated for 6 months. Then my dad found out that we had been talking about sex. I didn't want to tell my dad that we were going to, but I was ready, and Johnathon said that we would be together forever. Well my dad broke us up. We still went out behind my dad's back. I felt awful, but I love Johnathon. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. On the week of my birthday, he went on a missions trip. He came back and declared on Facebook that he had a NEW GIRLFRIEND! I was heart broken and didn't want to talk to him. I'm still a little hurt. But a couple of days ago, he came up to me at school and asked if we can talk; I said yes. Biggest mistake because I fell for him again. I have been praying that God will help me stay away from him, but he keeps coming back. I almost feel as if God wants us to be together.
Any advice on what I should do? I want total honesty cause I really need help. I cry over Johnathon all the time. And I hate it. I just need some help and I don't think my parents will understand. My mom has cancer and can't get out of bed without feeling sick. My dad is to busy to pay any attention to me. I need HELP. MAJOR HELP.

Elyse Karsik

Idolizing Guys
on Tuesday, September 11, 2012 at 3:59 pm

This summer I had the wonderful privilege of being able to work out in Yellowstone National Park with a ministry called ACMNP(A christian ministry in the national parks). At the different locations throughout the park our different teams(Each team was assigned a location and when you signed up, you were assigned to a location/team) would put on worship services every Sunday to minister to the Christians that visited the park and also to reach out the unsaved visitors and coworkers. I met a guy on a different team from me, and I have liked him for the majority of the summer. He is a christian and from what I have seen a growing one. Anyways This post has helped so much because nothing has happened with this guy and I am not trying to pursue him or anything at all..but I guess I had somehow got it in my mind that he should like me back..it sounds so dumb and ridiculous when I see it on paper, but It was a lie I believed nonethless. and he has consumed my thoughts and I find myself wanting to do stuff for the Lord to impress him. I love this post, because it just reminds me that I can cry out to the Lord and confess to Him my selfish motives and wicked thoughts. and He will purify and wash me clean from my sin, and help destroy my idols that fight for His place in my heart. Thank you for this encouraging reminder.

Clay_In_His_Hands!

Re:
on Thursday, September 13, 2012 at 8:11 pm

A friend of mine has posted this song on facebook a few times, andit is now one of my favorite songs. when i clicked on this post, i knew i had a problem with idolizing guys, and when i saw the song, God spoke to me. im honestly getting teary right now. i just wanted to thank LYWB for this! listening to this song right now and asking my God for strength :) <3

Clay_In_His_Hands!

Abigail

Thank You
on Saturday, October 13, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I saw this post as I was browsing through the site, loved it, then kind of forgot about it. Now that I am stuck more in this position, it is so much more groundshaking. I'm having a problem with idols right now, and this is so convicting to just run straight to God. Thank you for the beautiful song and words of advice that I need to take to heart!

Lorree, with the LYWB team

@ Anonymous
on Monday, October 22, 2012 at 2:10 pm

I’m thankful God has you evaluating your thoughts and giving you a desire to make changes in your life so that your thoughts are honorable to Him and bring glory to God. One of the best ways of taking your thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor. 10:5) is to spend time in God’s Word, meditating on it and memorizing it. Then when your mind wanders and you recognize it is going where it should not, you can quote the Scripture to yourself to take your thoughts captive. Some passages I recommend are 2 Cor. 10:5, Phil. 4:4-8, Ps. 103. Which passage will you begin working on, my friend?

Here’s a couple more blogs you can read as you seek to walk in obedience to God.
• The Story of a Girl and Her Idol: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=862
• Steps toward Removing an Idol: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=863
• Stop Thinking of that Boy by Loving Him: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=1828

I’m praying for you right now, friend! You are headed in the right direction and I want to assure you that God has a way through this (1 Cor. 10:13).

Anonymous

Thank You
on Tuesday, November 27, 2012 at 1:04 am

My idol works in ministry with me. You know, I never realized how much I idolized this person till I lay in bed imagining what our future kids would look like and lost 3 hours just dreaming up thoughts that would not please God. I realize that I have always idolized relationships. I look at them through rose colored lenses when I need to be building myself up. I pray always for strength to change. But I will also work because the bible says in 2 Corinth 10:5 that we hold every thought captive to Christ. So I am going to get on my knees and ask my heavenly father for forgiveness. I repent of my wayward ways and ask for the strength to please him with my thoughts and to serve him with my mind and not just outwardly.

Bri KB

Re:
on Monday, December 10, 2012 at 1:57 pm

So I haven't been on here in a while until yesterday when i was clearing out my old email where all the LYWB email updates go and I decided to look through the subjects to see if there was anything I wanted to read or that would help me. Oh gosh! Have I got a lot to work on!!!! This one is really difficult considering the guy I can't stop thinking about is the guy I see the most and can't avoid seeing. But he is also my best friend so... This is something I'm having to walk through and learn as go. I have already messed up once with thinking I was "in love" with a guy when I was only like 14 or 15. I learned a lot from that and what I learned is helping me walk through this relationship too. And God is helping me know what to do also.

@maria re:thank you (but i still need some help)
on Tuesday, December 11, 2012 at 7:30 pm

hey girl! i have the same prob! like i cant stop thinking of my crush! i walk by him in the hallway and freak out! i know he wont ask me out cause he is not in any of my classes!(he was in my class last year love at first sight!) i need help to! did you find out any answers! i am crazy! i know that already ! if i think of advice i will send u another message!

Lorree, with the LYWB team

@ kk
on Wednesday, December 12, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Hey, friend, take the time to read Sarah's response to @ Maria above. I encourage you to make the choice invest your heart and energy into your relationship with Jesus Christ and your girlfriends. You are young, my friend. There is plenty of time for a relationship with a guy when you are older and better able to handle the emotions and responsibilities that go with a guy/girl relationship.

As you spend time with God in Bible reading and prayer, and as you invest time in the lives of your girlfriends, God will continue to mold you into the woman you need to be for the guy He chooses to bring into your life later on. God loves you far more than any guy can. I’m praying for your heart and your willingness to choose God over a guy at this point in your life.

@LorrewiththeLYWBteam
on Saturday, December 15, 2012 at 5:42 pm

i did and i hope i will stop obsesing over him! thanks a lot

Emily

This one boy
on Thursday, December 27, 2012 at 6:07 pm

This post really hit home. I went on a missions trip this past summer where I met a guy that I feel like might be "the one" that God has for me to marry. We haven't discussed anything but I've been praying about it. So I know that if God wants us to be together, He will bring us together in His time. But does that mean I shouldn't go on the mission trip next year? I feel like this guy was an idol in my heart, but I am working on killing that sin of putting him before God. I would feel awful if I didn't go because the family we stayed with really wants us all to come back (there were only 9 of us who went) and I know they could use help, and God could use me there. I've just been a little torn up about it, because I know it would be an amazing time of spiritual growth as well, but part of me still wants to go to see what my future might be with this boy. Thoughts?

Emily

Me again
on Thursday, December 27, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Sorry thought I should mention a couple other things:
I am 18 years old, so I could possibly consider a relationship at this point in my life. And also, I know that "feeling" somebody might be "the one" doesn't mean anything either. I just know that this guy is very Godly and we get along well, so I could see a potential relationship. However, I haven't dated before (except for one day in middle school which was dumb.. But anywho hah) so I'm not fully sure how God might be leading me. Ok that's all :) hope to hear from you!

Kaetlyn

Quick question...?
on Thursday, December 27, 2012 at 7:57 pm

This is great! I love it!
This is a tad off topic due to this being in the "Guys" topic, but my best friend... one of them, I look up to her, and I'd do *anything* for her... is it possible that she could be an idol in my life?
How can I take her off that throne? Like I said earlier, she's my best friend and I don't want to just walk out of her life, it wouldn't be that easy anyways.
Should I approach her and talk to her or...??

volleyball12!

@kaetlyn
on Monday, December 31, 2012 at 2:34 pm

hey girl! i dont think i have had this prob. before but i will try to help... i think you should stop doind *anything* for her..i mean is she that great to the point that god is less important to you than her...i dont know that for sure but i think that god should be the number 1 person on ur idolising list. tell her in a nice tone if she wants something say "(her name) i would love to but i dont want to do everything for you dont take it like i dont like you cause ur my best friend but i dont want you to overpower my love over god." hope i helped
-volleyball12

Lorree, with the LYWB team

@ Kaetlyn
on Monday, December 31, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Idols can be anything that takes the place of God on the throne of our heart, Kaetlyn. So it is possible that your best friend could be an idol. I encourage you to read through the posts below, pray, and speak to your mom about what your thoughts are in this area. She can encourage you and help you to think through this in a healthy way and can be there to support you as you make changes in your life so that your heart is centered on God.

Who Do You Really Love?
http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=196

How to Spot an Idol:
http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=720

Your God’s Don’t Love You:
http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=860

Steps toward Removing and Idol:
http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=863

I’m praying for you, Kaetlyn and asking God to continue to convict your heart, give you courage to talk to your mom, and lead you in how to keep God the most important person in your heart and in your life.

Carrie, with the LYWB team

@ Emily
on Monday, December 31, 2012 at 3:42 pm

I love your heart to honor God by surrendering your future to Him, seeking Him through prayer and removing anything that might be a hindrance in your relationship with Him. Sounds like you’re on the right track, my friend!

Share your concerns with your parents and youth leaders. Ask them to pray with you. Give them permission to ask you the hard questions about your heart/thoughts regarding this guy. The Lord will give you clear direction through them, Emily. You can rest knowing that.

Enjoy falling madly in love with Jesus this year, friend!

Kaetlyn

@volleyball12
on Tuesday, January 1, 2013 at 7:36 pm

Thanks,
I understand what your saying but I guess I misinterpreted *anything* my bad!
She doesn't actually ask me to do stuff, I just would!
I appreciate your help and I'll try to think this over. :)

volleyball12!

@kaetlyn
on Thursday, January 3, 2013 at 7:16 pm

so u just like go get her ater without her asking! im to lazy!hahaha well anyways i hope u can come up with something! i will pray for u! im like 12 years old and i feel like an adult ugh!

Kaetlyn

@volleyball12
on Sunday, January 6, 2013 at 11:18 pm

"Ater"?
I'm shure I will, I've actually started to talk to God about this more and My big sister is definitely almost off the throne.
And that's funny I'm 12 too, haha I also feel like an adult on here!

volleyball12!

@kaetlyn
on Sunday, January 13, 2013 at 6:12 pm

sorry its been a while i dont know what i meant! haha dont u? i feel so old on this thing!

Kaetlyn

@volleyball12
on Friday, January 25, 2013 at 8:38 pm

It really helps me feel better about myself :)

mlynn

Help!
on Thursday, January 31, 2013 at 3:00 pm

So, it's weird, because this post was put up three days before the guy I "like" and I started talking. But the thing is, I actually think I love him.
We have SO much in common, it's almost frightening. From our beliefs, the music we like and the books we read, to our God given talents and future life goals. But we both had enough different about eachother that we could give and take--he led me to appreciate C.S. Lewis, and some other stuff, and I led him to appreciate some other things.
In short, we became the very best of friends, even though we only spent four days together at a summer camp (athough I knew him for three and a half weeks before then).
But I devolped a pretty big crush on him, actually a HUGE crush, and I haven't been able to shake it off. I keep praying that God will help me get rid of it, and trying to convince myself that all of my thoughts about this boy are idolatrous, but they just don't go away.
And I'm wondering if they're even meant to. I mean, it's not like I've forgotten God in all of this, in fact, it seems like I've grown CLOSER to God because of this boy. And while, yes I do think about him a lot, God is always part of that. In all my thoughts about, I end up praying that God will take care of him and bless him in all that he does, even if we never see eachother again. And I also end up praising God for allowing him to be a part of my life.
So is all of this a bad thing? I'm just not sure what to do, or what to feel.

Carrie, with the LYWB team

@mlynn
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 3:28 pm

Having a friendship with a guy who is seeking after the Lord is a great thing, mlynn. But obsessing over that friend can become a problem.

Talk to your mom or another trusted older woman about your feelings. Ask her to pray with you. Pray for this guy and for the woman who will one day become his wife. Ask the Lord to help you honor this young man in a way that will honor your future husband – even if this young man’s not the one.

Here’s two posts that will help you, friend: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=665 and http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=1838 .

Kaetlyn

Me again...
on Tuesday, February 26, 2013 at 1:33 pm

I've had a crush on this boy for a little while, but I've been trying to keep my heart pure and keeping myself from those thoughts about guys, so the crush was on and off for a while until after our math class he told me he has a crush on me, at that time I liked him a LITTLE bit, but after he said that, my feelings grew more. We have started to hang out more and more, my big sister isn't the happiest person about it (believe me, me and him have "cutest couple" fans) and a few of my leader-friends are a little concerned about me and him hanging out all the time. So I've tried taking a step back from him, and I've told him that we should distance ourselves, like I'll hang out with him at school because he's my best friend, but at our youth group, its hard NOT to talk to him! he is my BEST friend.
I'm not gonna lie, we would make a pretty cute couple! But I've been trying not to give into peer pressure, my close girl-friends tell me to hold his hand, cuddle up against him (this all happened on a youth retreat,) and when he fell asleep on the way back from the mountain we fell asleep, I was sleeping against the window, and he fell asleep slouched down in the seat, but nobody can keep control of their head in their sleep, right? His head fell onto my shoulder and I woke up, I noticed my friends were giggling so I gently slapped him on the leg and he kinda woke up and moved. Going on, I almost gave into that peer pressure, I almost let him rest his head on me, I almost gave him a kiss on the cheek, we had to hold hands during worship and I guess that kind of sparked those thoughts.
And I only have a few people who will hold me accountable to those kind of thoughts, my big sister and a close leader-friend of mine.
I could really use some prayer for courage to talk to him about this kind of stuff and a pure mind (my goal is to have my first kiss when I get married) Thanks for reading!

Sarah, with the LYWB team

@Kaetlyn...
on Thursday, February 28, 2013 at 10:33 pm

You have a precious heart ~ what a blessing it is to read of your commitment to purity. I have prayed for you tonight--asking God to give you the courage and strength, right words and perfect opportunity to speak with this boy. Rehearse your words ahead of time--be thoughtful, kind and honest when you speak to him. Ask God to help you write out just the right words to be able to be a gracious friend as you stand for purity. Praying for you this night!

Kaetlyn

@Sarah
on Saturday, March 2, 2013 at 3:25 pm

Thank you Sarah, Its really hard though, I'm a seriously shy person at first. And when I do get the chance to talk about that, I can't get all my thoughts out. thanks for praying for me though!

Kaetlyn

Coinsedense @Sarah
on Saturday, March 2, 2013 at 11:10 pm

as I read your reply I was talking to this guy that I like, and he was starting to talk about the things my friends say about me and him; that he would if I was comfortable, I almost said yes, but then I told him we should talk about this in person so we can sort through our thoughts. Thank you!!1

Sarah, with the LYWB team

@Kaetlyn...
on Sunday, March 3, 2013 at 10:38 pm

You are to be commended! So good that you said these things need to be talked about in person.Is there a godly adult you can talk with to help you talk through these things, pray with you, encourage you to stand firm?? Maybe your mom, your youth pastor's wife, your pastor's wife, a Sunday School teacher, a godly aunt?? It will help throughout your teen years to have someone you can receive wise counsel from and help you sort through relationships. God bless you, Kaetlyn.

Kaetlyn

@Sarah
on Tuesday, March 5, 2013 at 7:48 pm

I do, I have a lot of leaders at my youth group, and my pastor doesn't have a wife, let alone a girlfriend.
As I was saying, I have a lot of leaders, but only a few I trust, :)
Thank you!!!!

Sarah, with the LYWB team

@Kaetlyn...
on Tuesday, March 5, 2013 at 11:16 pm

Great! All you need is one! :-) I pray you can connect and find the joy of a godly woman walking with you, praying with you and encouraging you in purity!! She will count it a privilege! Praying for you tonight!

Sophe

THANK YOU
on Monday, March 18, 2013 at 12:33 pm

All i have to say is THANK YOU SO MUCH

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