Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

Jae
Confused...
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 2:10 am
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So I really like this guy...and he goes to church and I'm pretty sure he's a Christian. He's super sweet and texts me everyday! But my parents are really strict about dating, which I totally understand. And once he asked me to be his girlfriend I had to say no. He instantly took it the wrong way and thought that I didn't want to be around him anymore, but that wasn't the case. I just wanted to be friends. The day after he changed his relationship status on facebook to, "In a Relationship". I was super confused so I texted him, "What's going on?!" And he said he found a girlfriend and she's AMAZING. It made me really sad, but I didn't want to show it...
Tabby
@Jae
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 3:18 am
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I'm so sorry! I'll pray for you! And you shouldn't be afraid to show it, maybe you could talk about it with a mature godly woman in your life?
And also this post has convicted me so much. I realize that I think many of the same thoughts posted above. I need to try to stop being that way. Thanks!
Kaytlyn
Thank You! And I have a problem..
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 4:08 am
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That is sooo true!
But I have this problem.
What if there are at least 5 guys who like you for the Right reasons!And they are all very nice and you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. And you are not encouraging them in bad ways at all! But you don't feel like any of them is the right one for you and you barely see them, but when you do, they always seem to like to talk to you or hang around you. I just don't want to hurt anyone :( I do Pray for them. But I can't always tell if they are just being nice back or if they think it is going somewhere...............What should I do?
somebody
Re: Jae
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 4:24 am
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I'm so sorry girl that you had to go through the drama of that, but it sounds to me like this guy wasn't worth your time in the first place-- even if he seemed super sweet. If he could find a girlfriend that fast after being turned down by you, I'd think he is too young to pursue girls if he keeps trying different ones immidetly when one doesn't work out for him-- he seems more into being in a relationship with someone than BEING THERE for someone. I wouldn't sugjest you try and 'still be friends' with this guy-- it will likely be ackward and uncomfortable [especially sense he has a girlfriend]. Surround yourself with friends who are girls-- don't waist your time with guys right now, even nice ones. Your future husband will appriciate you being fickle about your time one day when you meet him and proudly confess you 'haven't spent much time with other guys'.

Wait for a guy who will wait for you. If he can't wait, he doesn't love you. The first thing listed about love was that: Love is 'PAITENT'.

Also, you said "I'm pretty sure he's a Christian". Heads up here-- going to chruch doesn't make you a Christian, and you shouldn't just be 'pretty sure' he's a Christian, but KNOW. If you are interested in any guy, you need to decide if you can marry a man like him-- do you want to marry a good Spiritual leader? I'll tell you this, you won't be saying 'I'm pretty sure he's a Christian', you'll be saying "He's such an amazing Christian!" and it'll be obvious-- hopfully the first thing you notice about him.

So, basiaclly, I encourage you to let go of this guy *and pray for God's peace about it too*. Say "God, I trust you with my love-life, and I know you'll pick out someone way better than I ever could". And take a peace in knowing you don't have to go out and make it happen.
Rose
Thank You
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 6:00 am
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I have been struggling for years with the need to have a guy in my life. For all the wrong reasons. I am able to convince myself they are the right reasons- but I can't fool my parents, family, and friends. This blog has really opened my eyes. I have a friend right now who really wants to date me, and I want to date him. But my parents won't let us date because they don't think either of us are mature enough to handle a relationship together. We struggle with physical attraction, and I do want to show God through our relationship. I am proud to say that he is the strongest Christian I have ever met, and makes me want to also grow in my faith with God. Please, Pray that I can take everything said here and apply it to this situation and my life.

Thank you for posting this. Its exactly what I needed to see right now.
Bethany
Thank You!
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 7:31 am
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Like Rose (above), I have been struggling for literally YEARS with the need of having a guy in my life. The last 2-3 years have been especially hard, since I have become of marriagable age, and so many of my peers have been getting married in the last few years, and I often wonder "why them and not me?" - I almost start thinking that there is something abnormal or something with me because I don't have someone in my life.

But I know the Lord is helping me in this area, and that He is helping me to lean on Him more and more and to look to Him in everything and to see Him as my TRUE Prince Charming.

Thank you SO much for posting this - this article has opened my eyes so much to how I have been acting towards several young men in particular, and by the Lord's help I will be careful with how I act towards them in the future......may the Lord RICHLY bless you for being willing to post such a confronting article! It is SO needed!!!!
Mary
Re: Jae
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 8:40 am
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you dont wanna guy like that!!!! i knew a guy that liked me and then he moved away, but do you know what he did? he forgot about me and got girl crazy!! right now he talks to tons of girls, acting like he likes every single one of them! it hurt me when i found out but i finally got over him. Jae, when the right guy comes he'll wait for you!! if you tell the guy you just wanna be friends,he'll wait!! this guy you talked about doesn't seem right for you, he seems girl-crazy and you dont want that. i've had so many guys like me and then give me up!! i dont want that to happen to you to! when the right guy comes you'll know it!! why not pray for your future husband or right a list of you want him to be like? anyways i'll be praying for you!! i hope this helps!
Mattea
Guys!!!
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 8:48 am
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Guys are sooo confusing!! I sometimes forget how they really think!! I don't think any guy are worshipping me!! Seriously, why do no guys like me though? I want to marry a godly Christian man...but how will I find one if all the guys ignore me and seem to hate me?!!
Christina
Rose and Bethany
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 8:55 am
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For both of you, i suggest reading Young Lady in Waiting. Believe me, it helps. I had the same problem. Everything happens in God's timing and He is the only one with all the answers, and His are always the best. I read this, and after i was done reading this I ended up with a guy in my life. This part now morely goes to Rose. My guy is a good Christian with a Christian family that i love! We don't date. We have decided to wait. With dating comes temptation, and that physical touch does not need to happen until after marriage. NEVER BE ALONE WITH A GUY, NO MATTER WHO IT IS. Not like yelling there, but never be alone with a guy. That is opening it up for more stuff to happen than what needs to be going on. Your foundation needs to be God, and if it pushes past what God says is ok then there is a problem. Obey your parents. For what your parents have said, it's better for the two of you to stay friends. Grow in your friendship, and you can both grow in the Lord.
Christina
Mattea
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 8:58 am
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Don't worry about it. I am also wanting you to read Young Lady in Waiting. I used to think the same way. Use these questions in your life, but don't push or look for a relationship to happen. Spend a while of having God as your boy friend, i did. It happens in God's timing, He will bless you! Don't worry about guys, they are definetly not of the most high importance. God needs to go before everything and everyone!
Christina
How These Questions Relate to Me
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 9:03 am
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I have friends because they are Christian, i hang out with people mainly only at church (i participate a lot in my church). I don't do anything to please anyone. If i were to pray with someone, it's because they need prayer. Even with my guy, i like him for him. He is a good guy, that loves the Lord with all his heart and he shows it. When it comes to him, i don't do anything special as in the way i dress or anything. I am me, and a guy is gonna like me for me, not someone i'm not. I serve the Lord, and i show it. I talk about God all the time, and give Godly advice. There are those few guys that like me and i have no clue why, but i have my way of handling them. I love the Lord, and I'm not afraid to show it.
Kali
Re:
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 12:31 pm
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Thanks for the post! I know now that I need to show guys what God is like. But it got me thinking... I don't really know how to show them.
Christina
Kali
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 2:25 pm
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Be a living example. Be Christ-like. Let your light so shine upon this world. Yes talk about God, but don't just use words, show it! Be the girl that God wants you to be, be joyful, people will notice there is something different about you. Be modest, have standards, show that you are different and they will know there is something different about you. Once they notice, you can tell them that you have the love of someone that died to know you. Lead them to Christ, show that you have a love for Christ.
RachelAllison
A bit off topic
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 3:36 pm
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I'd just really appreciate some prayers right now. I'm having a beyond difficult week (there's really too many things going on to explain them all) and I'm struggling a lot to keep my eyes focused on God.
cece
Re:
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 3:45 pm
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Wow! I agree on. This post!
aftergodsown<3
amen...
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 5:33 pm
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this is a great post. not to much temptation has come my way in this regard, but this is always a danger and we need to keep God's truth in the front of our minds!

on a similar note, I blogged about the danger of a "crush" recently: http://godlygirlz.blogspot.com/2012/05/magnificent-obsession.html
kk
Love this post!
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 6:36 pm
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What an excellent post! Thanks so much Brad Neese for the helpful words and challenge. I hate it when girls go nuts over guys, and now I know there's a reason that is bad--because it magnifies them and not God.
Beka
a challenge
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 7:03 pm
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Thanks for this post! it definitely caused me to think.....i desperately need prayer and God's help in this area.

Praying for you all, Rachel Allison, Jae, Bethany, ect!! =)
Christina
Prayer
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 8:41 pm
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I am praying for you all! Remember when things come in life to stay strong in God. Don't fall, and if you do get right back up ask for forgiveness and take more steps towards faith. We all end up stronger in the end as long as we stay strong in the Almighty!
Artsy
Re:
on Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 11:53 pm
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I wrote about true love in the V-Day post on my friend and I's site, check it out here:

http://artist-and-bre.webs.com/apps/blog/show/12380420-what-is-love-
Me
Typo
on Friday, July 20, 2012 at 3:20 am
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That middle question is a "what" when it should be a "why" :)
Mary
Mattea
on Friday, July 20, 2012 at 10:17 am
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Mattea when the right guy comes you'll kow it!!if you dont have a guy right now your lucky! i have guys that like me and i dont like them so it's really hard to wait for the right one. i get so stressed. but i put it in God's hands and i dont have to worry about it! i'll be praying for ya!
Anonoymous 101
Re:
on Friday, July 20, 2012 at 11:56 am
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Thank-you for this post!

This is a struggle for me! I sometimes put up the prettiest picture I have if I know I"m interested in a guy or vice-versa or we like each-other, but I don't put anything provacative! Actually, I don't take pictures like that that's a big no-no for me!

It's so hard waiting sometimes when you know possibly this one could be a potential and you want to look your best, and then God zaps him away to catch our attention because the greatest love above all is Jesus Christ the love that lasts for eternity!

It's just so hard, when you've met someone after 7 years not speaking to someone and then going out for a little bit, and then God like takes him out of your life and you don't know why! Is that natural?

And it's so hard waiting, and it's hard when there's so many other prettier girls, but I know I"m still healing from something tat happened when I was five, but I know that still doesn't give me an excuse, but to wait patiently, and pray and see where God leads! I just don't understand why God would bring someone in my life after seven years and then not talk to him for a while?

Why is it so hard for girls to wait then for guys? Totally random question and thank-you for this post this helps:)
some girl
???
on Friday, July 20, 2012 at 2:32 pm
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so thr are 2 guys tht i like and they knd of think that i am annoying but i really can't be for sure what they thnk! whnever i am around guys that i like i act totally stupid and i look back on the things that i did and can't blieve i acted that way. i am not a flirt...i just don't b-have like i should. any ideas on what could help me stop this?
Mary
Re: some girl
on Friday, July 20, 2012 at 4:25 pm
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it's good that your not a flirt. but can you tell me why you think you act stupid? just dont worry what a guy thinks, alot of the time they like us when we think they dont. believe me!!! it happens to me alot! i'll pray for you!!
Esther
My trust in guys
on Friday, July 20, 2012 at 6:00 pm
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I have lost 100% trust in guys. Especially players because i have got cauget up in very deep trouble and it wasnt really a good idea to even start it
Me
Re: Esther
on Friday, July 20, 2012 at 6:29 pm
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Hi Esther,

Remember there are a lot of guys out there, and 100% is a lot. There are also girls I wouldn't trust at all but there are some gems out there as well! I've seen first-hand (and second-hand) that good godly guys do exist out there and some can be trusted. It's natural not to trust straight off the bat, I mean for me I take maybe 1-2 years or more to fully give someone my trust. And I've also been hurt by a guy before. This is human! It's normal. However I'd like you to try not generalize about untrustworthy guys...just like not all girls are of the world, not all guys are players or jerks. It is hard being hurt and time is usually the best healer for anything. But don't hide away so you can't see the guys (sometimes one, or just a few) who are around and genuinely can be trusted. You may miss out on some great guys, and honestly guys can make the BEST friends. And above all, dahling I hope you put your trust 100% in God. Then trusting other people will get easier. :)

In Christ,
Me
Brittany
Re:
on Friday, July 20, 2012 at 6:41 pm
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Fortunately, I don't have this problem, but wish I did have someone.
Lorree, with the LYWB team
Jae
on Friday, July 20, 2012 at 7:15 pm
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Jae, I am thankful that your parents care so much about you to have you wait to date until you are ready for a relationship. This guy may be a nice guy, but he obviously didn’t care about you enough to wait for the right time for a relationship. I’m sure this has brought a lot of sadness to your heart, but I want to assure you that you can trust God to bring the right guy along at the right time in your life. And your parents will approve! God’s timing is never wrong.
Lorree, with the LYWB team
Kaytlyn
on Friday, July 20, 2012 at 7:17 pm
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Hey, Kaytlyn! It’s important that we are honest with guys. They can’t read our minds and they like to know what the bottom line is. I encourage you to tell them that you are glad to have them as your friends but you aren’t interested in relationships at this time. That lets them know where you stand, where they stand and it gets everything out in the open. Keep praying for them and treating them as you would any other brother in Christ.
Lorree, with the LYWB team
Rose
on Friday, July 20, 2012 at 7:17 pm
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Rose, I appreciate your honesty and your desire to grow in your relationship with God. He has given you parents to guide you and protect you. By focusing on your relationship with God and growing in your knowledge of Him, that is the best way you can mature and be ready for relationships. I am glad God has led you to this blog and has ministered to your heart through it. Stay in the Word, dear friend! It is through the knowledge of God gained there that you will grow and mature into the godly woman that He desires you to be. I’ve prayed for you and asked God to pour His grace on you as you seek to be obedient to your parents and honor Him in your relationships.
Anonymous
Off topic
on Friday, July 20, 2012 at 11:14 pm
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Hey, sorry this is off topic. But it is really worrying me. My friend kept bugging me to tell her something that was bothering me, but I didn't want to because I didn't think she could handle it. I knew that she only wanted to know because she cared. I explained to her that she wouldn't understand and that it would be too much for her to handle, and that I was ok. But she persisted, and and persisted that I tell her, so eventually I gave up and told her. Just before I told her, I made her promise that she wouldn't tell anyone, and double checked that she really wanted to know. She promised and I told her. Well... She did not understand at all and told me I had no reason to be feeling that way....

She told me today that she told her mum. I was furious, upset, and heartbroken. My best friend had done exactly what I said she would do. I forgave her straight away though because being angry at her wasn't going to solve anything. She texted me and said, "Why? What difference does it make anyway?!" I called her, but she didn't answer so I left a message in her message bank. I told her it made a massive difference because I had trusted her with something really serious and private, and she broke our trust and her promise. I told her that I wasn't angry at her but I was upset that she would do that. I said that I knew she didn't understand, but she shouldn't have told. I told her she was forgiven, but I might not be able to trust her again, or at least for a little while. I have prayed so much. Hopefully everything will turn out all right. What should I do though? :(( Please pray for me, I am really stuck!
Thanks
Hello :)
Anonymous
on Saturday, July 21, 2012 at 8:09 am
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Hey anonymous,

I just wanted to jump in from your friends perspective because a couple of years ago I did the same thing to my best friend. I made the mistake of promising to her that I wouldn't tell anyone something she was about to tell me and then she told me about a habit of hers' which was very harmful and damaging to her health. After many tears and much praying, I called her and told her that if she didn't tell her mum, I would. It was really hard to make that decision, especially because I had promised secrecy. Ultimately though, I'm glad I told because she's very important to me and I had to put her best interests above my feelings. Thankfully, she's a super amazing, wonderful person and she quickly forgave me for breaking the promise and understood why I did it. Now, a few years later she's grateful.

I'm not sure how similar that is to what happened with you but if it is, don't be too harsh on her. She was probably just trying to be a good friend. Even if she wasn't try and forgive her and see from her perspective where she was coming from. She was wrong to break her promise but is it possible that she did it with your interests in mind? Ephesians 4:32 'Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you'

I'll be praying for you and your friendship with this girl :)
Anonymous
Thanks
on Saturday, July 21, 2012 at 8:21 am
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Thankyou. That really helped. Yes, she did have my best interests in mind. But now she is telling me that it is my problem and that she doesn't want anything to do with my problems anymore even though she was the one that wanted to know in the first place. I feel completely deserted by her. Like she is just giving up on me and doesn't care anymore; although I know deep down she does. I don't know what to do. It's hard enough dealing with these problems let alone have a friend tell you that you have to face them alone cause she is not going to help you. ( and yes that is what she said) I don't know what to do:(((
Esther
Me
on Saturday, July 21, 2012 at 4:17 pm
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Thanks. I know guys can make really good best friends but my bestfriend was the guy who hurt me so badly that my reputations and my identity flunked a lot and i spents days in bed crying at people at school had me crazy and it was to a point that i wanted to commit suicide and never see the daylight again
Lorree, with the LYWB team
Anonymous 101
on Saturday, July 21, 2012 at 7:35 pm
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Hey, friend. I think waiting is hard for everyone. Waiting involves trusting God and knowing that His way is best while surrendering our right to have things go our way and be in control of our own lives and destiny.

Because of the sin of Eve in the garden (Gen. 3:1-7) and God’s punishment to her (Gen. 3:16), we will always struggle with the man be the leader in relationships and us being the responder. God created us to do just that – respond to the leadership of men. But because of sin, women want to control the men in our lives. That may be why it is hard for us to wait as we cannot control the men in our lives. Only God can do that (Prov. 21:1).

I know this is a difficult time, friend. But you can trust God to bring you through this. Praying for you!
Lorree, with the LYWB team
Some girl
on Saturday, July 21, 2012 at 7:36 pm
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You ask an interesting question, my friend. Could it be that when you are around these guys you might be trying to impress them or get them to notice you? Do you think that instead of trying to draw attention to yourself you could possibly pray ahead of time and ask God for ways you could show these guys Jesus? Look for ways you can minister to them and others, meeting their needs and by doing so, show them how much Jesus loves them.

It might help for you to think that God has a wife chosen for these young men already. You don’t want to mess with another woman’s man, but you can treat them the same as you would a brother. Be kind. Be helpful. Be encouraging. Be gentle. Let the Fruit of the Spirit shine through your life (Gal. 5:22-24). I encourage you to make the choice not to treat them any different than any other guy you know. Be content with being friends.

God has a way through this, my friend. I’m praying God will help you in putting Christ on display rather than trying to draw attention to yourself.
Esther
A warning to my friend
on Saturday, July 21, 2012 at 8:38 pm
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So i have this friend and there is this guy who is using her for her body nd i try to tell her everyday that he doesnt really like her but she doesnt listen to me and i am telling her from experience with this. She also knows that he plays girls and does all this stuff with them. What do i do?
Sabrina
So true!
on Saturday, July 21, 2012 at 10:53 pm
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This is so true. And just because you like a guy doesn't mean you have to do something about it unless it is the guy that the LORD has chosen for you. Remember: He is in control of everything! Including you and who you marry or date.
a girl
PLEASE HELP!
on Sunday, July 22, 2012 at 3:32 am
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I have an off topic question...

I don't really get along that well with my mom. I don't know weather it's me or her. Of course I think "oh it's her" but I know a lot of times in relationship problems, we blame the other person when it's really our fault. You know, the whole, seeing the speck in their eye while remaining oblivious to the log in our own? I don't know if that's me or not-- because there are situations where it is the parents wrong choises or actions that cause the problems. But I'm afraid everyone will assume I'm just 'being a teenager' and disrespecting my mom and that it's really all my fault. So I'm not sure about this.

I don't feel like I can talk to my mom... when I first opend up about God to her I thought I could, but I soon relized we didn't see eye to eye, and I felt judged and missunderstood by her-- so I stopped going to her. My friends don't always get along with their moms either, so they have mentors to talk to-- my mom won't let me have one, which is a big reason I hold back from her, because I feel like she's depriving me of something that could be really helpful to me-- I NEED someone to be accountable to about my faith, and who I can trust and confess my issues and sins to, who can encourage me and teach me, you know? But I DON'T feel that way about my mom. I've tried to give her a chance with Bible study stuff, but I feel like it's always about HER and how SHE feels.... not that she's not important, but she always acts like "oh I don't have friends" [she just doesn't think any of them are 'good enough' for her, I'm emberessed about how judgmental she is towards them] and how she has emotional probs [like I don't-- I used to have panic attacks so bad I'd tremble for hours and not be able to eat without choking!] and she just ends up venting, and I feel like we're not even talking about GOD stuff anymore. Like, she takes the conversation off course and makes it so it's about her struggles. I know she's a stay at home mom and that can be hard, and that she wants me to be her best friend, but I can't. I wanted to, but I just don't think I can, cause I just get angry around her-- and I feel like she doens't care about how I think and feel. She always apologizes for being sassy to me about my opinions, and I always say "it's okay" and hug her, but I don't FEEL like it's okay. I know I haven't actaully forgiven her for it in my heart because I think about it again the next time she does it.

She says she doens't want to be replaced by another women [mentor], and that me wanting one tells her she's not doing her job. I watched her bawl her eyes out and so I *lied* and said that wasn't true. I ended up telling my possible mentor I couldn't get with her, and I had to stretch the truth so she wouldn't be sucpicious of why I dropped out on her. I felt really bad. Like I blew my chance at having a mentor and then, even worse, my mom never did anything afterward to try and proove herself to me. She just kept 'not' being there for me and not understanding. I dunno, maybe I'm really weird and hard to relate to, but I'm not her mom and I feel like I have to be the parent sometimes-- she'd let me sleep all day and watch not-so-healthy tv shows all day long and eat whatever I wanted all summer, and not say a word-- sometimes I lash out and act sarcastic, and it's a weakness of mine, and it's FULED by tv. She watches shows that promote grudges, hatered, cyincal addituteds and bad words all the time, and then she's shocked when it rubs off on me-- I've tried to tell her these things but she just blows up. I don't know what to do. Is there any '30 day challenge" for moms? I know ROH did something like that for wives having probs with their husbands, and I didn't know if there was anything for moms and daughters? Whatever it is, it has to be fool-proof. My mom gets mad at me for pretty goofy things and it's really hard to not be angry towards her for it, even when she says she's sorry. Please help me!! My sister doesn't know the Lord *I don't think* and my mom tends to depend on me as the one she can talk to but I don't want to be her 'best friend' because I'm just a kid. It's too much pressure. I also really want a mentor but I don't know where to find one, so right now I have to find my own help. I know God is with me and will help me, but the Bible does say for the older women to teach the younger. Please please help me, I am really shaken up by all this and need serious guidence in what to do to honor God!!:'(
Hey :)
a girl- PLEASE HELP
on Sunday, July 22, 2012 at 6:23 am
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Hey, that sounds tough. I can really relate to you though, because that is EXACTLY what my mum is like, and it's hard, I know. None of my family are Christians, all agnostics, so I can't talk about Christ with any them. At first, my mum wasn't really keen on me having bible studies, but after a while she started understanding the great influence and impact it was having on me. I know I am not a mum, but I know that all they want is to be there for you and to look after you, after all, you are their daughter. Do you have a special pet that is 'yours'? If so, you just want to be there for it don't you? You care about it so much. If you don't have a pet, that's ok. Try and relate to a young cousin or sister or something. And also, if your mum adopted a child and spent all of her time with it, and sort of started losing a relationship with you, you would feel replaced, yeah? Well, that is probably how your mum feels. I understand though, that if your mum is not there for you, you want to find someone else who will listen to you and support you. You need to talk to God about that. He will show you what to do. Pray that He will give your mum understanding, and the right words to say. Pray that He will mend your relationship with your mum. I will be praying for you and your mum too.

Also, you said that sometimes your mum does things you don't like, or aren't right. Then she apologises and you tell her it's ok, but really it's not. You have to learn to forgive her when she stuffs up. The bible tells us that we should forgive others as God forgave us. As hard as it maybe, you have to let it go, and not hold grudges against her. After all, she is only human, and we all stuff up. Ask God to help you forgive her, and to give you understanding towards your mum too.

Maybe you could try and write a letter to your mum, explaining how your'e feeling. Tell her these things you said on here, but remember to be understanding and forgiving towards her.It's hard. There is no doubt about that. But God will help you out, and everyhting will turn out ok in the end. Things will get better.
I hope this helps in some way. I will be praying for you :)) God bless you.
Just somebody
Esther- a warnign to my friend
on Sunday, July 22, 2012 at 6:30 am
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Hey,
What should you do? You should pray. Pray for her, and pray that God will open her eyes to see the truth. Pray with her if you can. That is a hard thing, to see this happening to your friend. God will look after her though :)) Explain to her, that what he is doing to her is wrong, and that she shoulldn't accpet it. If she doesn't listen, then pray to God. I will be praying for your friend.
Just
RE:Esther- I mean *Warning not warnign :))
on Sunday, July 22, 2012 at 6:32 am
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Esther
Just somebody
on Sunday, July 22, 2012 at 2:42 pm
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Thanks. The guy manipulating her claims he is a christian. (But i know he isnt or he wouldnt be doing that)
Sierra Rose
Kaelan
on Monday, July 23, 2012 at 2:10 pm
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So, there's this guy... (I know, famous last words, right?) But for me it's different than just a crush. There is something really beautiful and Godly about the way we interact and connect. Sure, I tend to obsess over him and what he will think beforehand, but when I'm actually talking to him, one-on-one, it's so different. His presence makes me want to be myself, my true self, the person God created me to be. I have liked him for almost a year now, but it started out so wrong. I was such a different person back then; I obsessed so much, but only because I didn't know anything different. But now I have realized that there is a different kind of love; a love that doesn't sit at home and feel sorry for itself. A love that is patient and kind, and does not envy or boast, does not insist upon its own way. I don't know what is going to happen between Kaelan and I, if anything. But I do know that God has used him to show me His kind of love, and I pray that someday someone will love me like that.

Please keep me in your prayers as I develop my relationship with Kaelan and experience God's plan for my life.
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Mattea
on Monday, July 23, 2012 at 6:26 pm
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You’re so right; guys and girls are wired very differently! The incredible thing is that you don’t have to worry about finding the right guy. If marriage is the best thing for you, then God will bring the right man to you at the right time.

Oh, sweet friend, if you’ll embrace that truth you’ll be amazed at the freedom you’ll have to enjoy friendship with guys apart from the burden of wondering if/why they like you.

Here’s two posts that will help you in relating to your guy friends, Mattea.

• http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=676.

• (http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=672)

Blessings to you this evening, friend.
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Re: Thanks
on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 at 2:44 pm
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I’m sorry you’ve been hurt by your friend. It’s possible she is just unsure how to help you work through this struggle. It sounds like it would be helpful for you to find an older godly woman who could walk through this with you. Maybe your youth pastor’s wife or another woman in your church?

You will need to choose to forgive your friend, Anonymous. Apart from forgiveness a root of bitterness will take root in your heart and cause much damage (Heb. 12:15). Forgiveness isn’t based upon our ability to understand the choices of those who have offended us. We forgive others because we have been forgiven much (Romans 5:8). We forgive because we are commanded to do so (Eph. 4:32). Choosing to forgive is a daily choice to lay the circumstances, situations, and people in our lives at the feet of Jesus – trusting that, He is more than able to do exceeding abundantly beyond all that we ask or think (Eph. 3:20).

I’m praying for you today, dear friend. Do the right thing…even if it’s tough.
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Re: Kaelan
on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 at 3:09 pm
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Praying today, friend, that you are overwhelmed by a sense of your Heavenly Father’s love and tender, compassionate care for you; may you continue to fall deeply in love with the Savior and be amazed by His glorious plan for you.

“Eye has not seen and ear has not heard, and which have not entered the heart of man, all that God has planned for those who love Him (1 Corinthians 2:9).”
Esther
Bible camp
on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 at 3:46 pm
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Off topic* But read. You might be interested. Almost every year i go to this Bible Camp. Its a different topic every year. What i like about this camp is that it is full of Christians ready to learn but there is also a fun part to it. You don't have to be a Christian. Ages are from 8-18. If you are 18 and up you can be a counselor. You can still be a Camper if you like too. Here is the Website. Check it out. The camp cost $425. You don't have to pay it all. You can pay 25, 50, 55, 80.What ever you have. This year i only paid a little. If you don't pay it all, you write a letter to the person who donated the money to you. They provide you with paper and pens. You get divided into age group cabins , so if you16, you wont be with 12 year olds, you'll be with 14,15, 16. Check out the Website. Tell your mom, your dad, your brothers and sisters. http://www.northeastfccamp.com/index.html


Youll be glad you came. The director of the camp is Gardner hall. This year on the 4th of July, i got baptized. The topic this year was love. I cant wait to find out about next year. There is also a camp just for girls, this august. The topic is, choose today whom you will serve. Aside from that, we are going to learn how to be faithful to our husbands in the future and how to cook and be holy women. You can contact Gardner Hall on the same website. Only Girls camp. The other camp is Boys and girls.
Lorree, with the LYWB team
Anonymous
on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 at 5:39 pm
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I’m sorry for the way your friend handled this tender situation. She was wrong to promise and then break that promise. But I wonder about her heart’s motivation for doing so. While I don’t know for sure, I wonder if she was concerned for you, concerned about what you had shared and needed her mum’s help in knowing what to do? I see that she has pulled away from you and this has hurt you as well.

Would it be possible for you and your friend to sit down and humbly work through this with her mum present? Having an older woman help you work through your difficulties might be a real blessing to both you and your friend.

I encourage you to forgive your friend. That keeps you obedient to what God tells you to do (Eph. 4:31-32). Then you need to continue to love her. Again, that is obedience to how God tells us to handle these situations (Rom. 12:9-21) when He says to bless those who hurt us and look for ways to do good for them. Whether she betrayed your trust or not, you can still choose to be friends and find ways to bless her life and love her. This will take time, but as you remain consistent in your expression of love for her and in your walk of forgiveness, God can bring healing to your relationship again.

Praying for you, friend, and trusting God to direct you in handling both the situation you are in and restoring your friendship.
Lorree, with the LYWB team
Esther
on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 at 5:40 pm
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Thank you, Esther, for being concerned for your friend. It sounds like she may be believing many of the lies of our enemy about guys that are addressed in Nancy Leigh DeMoss’s book Lies Young Women Believe (chapter 7). Would it be possible for you and her to go through this book and companion guide as a study together and work through these chapters? You might even be able to find an older woman who would be willing to go through this with both of you.

In the meantime, I encourage you to continue to pray for her and speak truth into her life. While you cannot change your friend, God can open her mind, remove her blinders and help her to see the truth. Thank you so much, Esther, for loving and caring for your friend.
Lorree, with the LYWB team
A girl
on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 at 5:41 pm
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I’m thankful that you want to honor God and do the right thing in your relationship with your mom. Paula wrote about how she felt when her parents said no to the things she wanted to do. (http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=937) While I know that your circumstances are not the same as Paula’s, the principles she shares in her blog apply regardless of the circumstances.

I encourage you to pray, pray, pray about this and seek the Lord’s will in how to navigate through this with your mom. While you cannot change your mom, God can. Praying for her is a wonderful way to invest in her and keep your heart tender towards her.

Would it be possible for you to express your thoughts and desires in a letter to her? You could assure her of your love and express appreciation for the way she is investing in your life but ask again if she would give you permission to meet with an older woman for Bible study and fellowship.

You also don’t mention your dad. If you have a dad in the picture, would it be possible for you to appeal to him and bring him in on this decision?

If she continues to say “no”, remember, friend, that the best mentor in the world is God. Dive into the Word; spend time in prayer; meditate and memorize His Word. He is all-wise, all-knowing, full of grace and mercy. He knows your future and can be trusted to guide you in the way you should go (Is. 30:20-21).

I cannot stress how important it is for you to choose to forgive your mom, friend! When we don’t forgive, we open the door to bitterness taking root. Bitterness will impact every relationship you have or will have in your future. Forgiving doesn’t mean that what she does is right. It simply keeps you obedient to God (Eph. 4:31-32) and puts the responsibility for judgment on our just and merciful Father.

Praying for you, friend, and trusting that God will guide you and use this in your life to grow you in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ (2 Pet. 3:18).
Anonoymous 101
Hi Lorree!!! :) Thank-you!
on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 at 9:57 pm
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HI Lorree!!!

Thank-you so much!! That gives me more to think about! You're absolutely right! It's so hard waiting and waiting for the guys to take charge, especially when this friend of mine could be a potential, he liked the thing I suggested a ministry to look at and he said he'd look into it, and I'm just dying to know what he thinks! But yet again, you're right I have to wait patiently!


WHy is it that women want to take more control then men in relationships?

It's so hard to wait patiently, and thank-you for the verses I'll have to look them up!!!:) I think I have a hard time in trusting,


I know I do, and thanks, sometimes I want to cry because I feel like I'm in the desert with my friend and there's nothingI can do but pray!!! It's hard, but thanks it's hard especially when you like someone more then a friend :)
Mattea
Thanks to everyone!!!
on Wednesday, July 25, 2012 at 1:55 pm
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Thank you everyone for encouraging me and for your prayers. I want to always trust in the Lord and love Him more than anyone else and not concentrate on guys or the world!!!
Autumn
Keeping It On a Friend Level...Impossible?!
on Wednesday, September 19, 2012 at 12:11 pm
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There's a guy at my church, he texts me every day and we like each other. But he's in rebellion against his parents. It's getting really bad (and kinda ridiculous). For instance, two months ago he told his parents he believed in Greek mythology rather than God. He denounced his faith. He had a girlfriend that was only online, he'd never met her in person, but she was starting to get to him. She was the one who convinced him to denounce his faith in the first place. She's Wiccan. And, well, I'm kind of taking her place. Him and I went to summer camp together and now he wants to date me. He's already told his mom that he'll wait till I'm older, but he's rebelling against his parents in that way too, I guess. So how on earth can I keep things on a friend level?! I like him back, but I know it'll be better for both of us if we don't date.
Carrie, with the LYWB team
@Autumn
on Tuesday, September 25, 2012 at 12:13 pm
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Your friend is in a dangerous place, Autumn. He needs your prayers and the prayers/influence of a godly man who can speak truth into his life.

The question is what is best for your life? What will help you grow in your walk with Jesus. The friends we choose to spend time with will influence our lives – either for better or for worse. “He who walk with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm (Prov. 13:20).”

What influence would this young man’s friendship have upon your life, friend? What impact could a relationship with one who is not walking in the ways of the Lord have in your life?

Talk with your parents about your friendship with this young man, Autumn. Seek their counsel and the counsel of your pastor or youth pastor. Then be willing to heed their instruction even when it may be contrary to your personal desires.

Praying for you today, sweet friend.
nameless
Re:
on Monday, December 10, 2012 at 4:40 pm
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I don't try for attention from guys, but I wonder what I'm doing to make them think that I'm gay. (I'm not gay.)
Sarah, with the LYWB team
@nameless...
on Tuesday, December 11, 2012 at 10:33 am
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We encourage you to find a friend who can help you as you ask her to honestly evaluate your actions.
nyy
plz help me
on Wednesday, May 8, 2013 at 9:18 pm
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Hi.. I really need help at my school there.r tons of guys who r clingy to me n r always touchy feely.. Everyday they r all over me and idk wat to do.. I dont really like any of them and i wanna b nice but its making me look bad.. I hang around alot of guys cuz gurls are too much drama.. Teacher tel my parents i hang with a lot of boys and they don't like it but their my friends plz help thx#
Lorree, with the LYWB team
@ nyy
on Thursday, May 9, 2013 at 2:24 pm
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I understand the “drama” thing, Nyy. And sometimes it can be more comfortable to hang around guys because there isn’t so much drama. But it sounds like your guy friends are crossing a line that they shouldn’t cross. Guys like to know the bottom line. You may be unknowingly encouraging their behavior. I encourage you to be be up front and firm with them. Tell them that you don’t appreciate the way they are touching you. Tell them that if they don’t stop, you’ll have to get some adults involved and quit hanging out with them.

Take a look at these blogs to see if you can gain some insights on how to establish some healthy boy/girl relationships. Those relationships change over the years and these will help you to see that, I believe:

Can Guys and Girls Be Just Friends?
http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=323

Can Guys and Girls Be Just Friends? Part 2
http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=324

How Do I Interact with Guys just as a Friend?
http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=676

He’s Just Like My Brother....or Is He?
http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=1838

Boyfriends vs. Boy Friends
http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=728

Four Friends Every Girl Needs
http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=912

If you need help working through this and setting boundaries with your guy friends, please speak to one of your teachers or your parents. They are there to help you! I’m pryaing for you Nyy, and asking God to give you wisdom in making some friendships with girls who aren’t so dramatic and who can support you and encourage you through these years of your life. I’m also asking God to give you the courage and strength in establishing safety in your relationships with guys and asking for help if you need it.