What's Your Story?

Paula Hendricks 11/01/12
Category: News & Updates ; 45 comments

girl writing in a journalThe end of the year seems like the perfect time to tell stories. In fact, the team at liesyoungwomenbelieve.com is gathering stories of what God has done in girls' lives this year. And we'd love to hear your story.

Here are just a few of the stories the stories you've already told us this year.

I wanted to thank you all for your ministry. This is my first time commenting on here, but last year I was struggling with a sin issue. I couldn't get out. I read blog posts on here, and they kept saying that we should confess sin to others to help get out of the bondage. I was so nervous and scared to tell someone, but I eventually went to my youth pastor's wife and got help. She talked with me, and she encouraged me to tell my parents. I did, and they were all so helpful and loving to me. Thanks again for your posts! I was definitely under conviction after reading them. I have been free from that sin area for six months now!!!! Praise the Lord! —Heart4missions

There is no doubt that God has led me to this place. He has led me to read the book and doing so has led me to this awesome community of young girls who want to get closer to Christ! :) These stories have blessed me big time, especially after a very difficult breakup with a guy from church. God never ceases to amaze me, He is too good! (And more detailed than any man will ever be lol). —Godsmiracle

This is the first time I've EVER visited this site (which is wonderful, by the way) and wouldn't you know that several of your posts are about the SAME exact thing that I've been dealing with:

• Loneliness
• Lack of friendships
• Sadness

I praise God for showing me this site! Your posts have given me so much to think about, so much to pray about, and more than anything, encouragement. Going on my favorites on my browser now! God is so good. —Lexi

We can't wait to hear your story. Don't feel like you have to focus on the impact of this site. We are especially interested in stories about how God has worked in your life this year.

So...

Email Stories@ReviveOurHearts.com with your story in 500 words or less or send us a link to your two to four minute YouTube video. You never know—we might share your story as we reflect on what God has done in 2012.

Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, weíre not trained counselors. If youíre seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as theyíll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

    Emma Elizabeth
    Need to get Back in Touch
    on Thursday, November 1, 2012 at 9:40 am
    I have gotten "out of touch" with God recently. Not terribly, I mean I still pray at meal times, at night, try to glorify him with my life, and read this blog. But I guess I'm kinda just stuck. I used to spend a lot of time with Him, but then my schedule got crazy....I need to spend more time with Him, but I don't know how to motivate myself to do so. Also, any good ideas on what to do in my quiet time with him?
    Brittany
    Re:
    on Thursday, November 1, 2012 at 11:13 am
    Thanks for the post! And thanks for sharing other girl's stories as well. This site is amazing and I agree with the other girl's posts as well.
    Kaylee S. Smith
    Living A Lie
    on Thursday, November 1, 2012 at 11:17 am
    I have also felt out-of-touch with Christ lately...I felt like He wasn't there or if He was there, He wasn't involved with me and my life. I tried talking to Him but it seemed like my prayers weren't getting past the ceiling. I then read a book on how much God loves me and wants to know me better and He desires for me to run to Him instead of other earthy thinks. And when I thought about how it crushed His heart when I did otherwise... well, that brought me to tears. I cried out to Him and for the first time, I felt this strange sense of being fulfilled and LOVED now. And that feeling is something so good, I can hardly describe. <3 I now feel like I don't need anything else. I don't NEED to run to anyone else. All I need is Christ! And "Lies Young Women Believe" also helped me see that.
    Emily
    @Emma Elizabeth
    on Thursday, November 1, 2012 at 11:32 am
    I totally feel like you do! I still feel "close" to God, but I feel like I'm not as connected as I should be. I feel like I need to be spending more time in my Bible, more time in prayer.
    Kala
    Bible Study Methods
    on Thursday, November 1, 2012 at 1:05 pm
    Can anybody give me a few Bible STUDY methods-- I've tried just reading but I want knowledge, I want to know what I believe, why I believe it, and how I can converse with an unbeliever without stumbling.
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ Emma Elizabeth
    on Thursday, November 1, 2012 at 4:04 pm
    My heart is touched by your desire to spend time with God! It will be the best decision and choice you make in your life. Do you know of any of your friends who might join with you as a form of accountability? You could text when you are starting and/or ending your time with Him. Or you could share your struggles and encourage each other in your walk with the Lord. It helps me to have a study that I do in my quiet time Ė one that requires me to think through and write out an answer.

    Others find it helpful to journal as they are reading through a passage Ė jotting down what stood out to themówhat they learned about God; what they learned about themselves and what specific changes they are going to make in their lives because of what they learned. Still others choose to journal their prayers to God. You can be creative, my friend! The most important thing is to be in the Word on a consistent basis. God simply wants to spend time with you!

    Iím praying for you today and asking God to continue to draw you to Himself and to show you how to not just go through the motions of a quiet time, but to really grow in your relationship with Him!
    Renee
    Sleepwalking
    on Thursday, November 1, 2012 at 5:07 pm
    "...I felt like He wasn't there or if He was there, He wasn't involved with me and my life. I tried talking to Him but it seemed like my prayers weren't getting past the ceiling..."

    Kaylee S. Smith, I copied part of your post because that's, like, word-for-word what I was going to say...except I can't relate at all to the other part. Where is God? If He loves me, why won't he talk to me? Is it just that I'm not listening? But how on earth do I even begin to listen to God? I would give anything for the peace of knowing He does hear me.....I know that part of that has to be faith, but if I could just hear Him! I'm afraid of how my life is going to turn out without God leading me. It's like falling into an infinite emptiness. I've seen the proof that God speaks as I've watched the lives of others play out in amazing ways. I just can't see how he would want to talk with me....
    sarah
    numb
    on Thursday, November 1, 2012 at 5:21 pm
    I feel the same as Emma Elizabeth. I finally realized how numb I was to God a week or so ago and I have been trying to pay more attention to him and his plan for me. But I am still trying to "get back in touch" with God.
    Thanks & God bless

    @Emma Elizabeth
    I will be praying for the both us to get a from grip on God;)
    brooke
    Kala
    on Thursday, November 1, 2012 at 5:51 pm
    Kala what i usually do is have a journal and read a chapter in the bible and then right what stood out to me and how that will change me and what i will do different!

    Hope that helped.
    Heart4missions
    question
    on Thursday, November 1, 2012 at 7:23 pm
    Just a question. my story of what God has done in my life is in this post (which I don't mind since i put it on the blog) but will these stay within the blog?
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    @Kala...
    on Thursday, November 1, 2012 at 9:38 pm
    Take a look at this page... http://store.precept.org/c-27-40-minute-no-homework.aspx. This method of study I can personally attest to! It has changed my life and grown me in the knowledge of the Word of God far more than anything else I have ever done! Any of the studies are wonderful, but I would suggest you start with "How Do You Know God's Your Father?" or "Having a Real Relationship with God" or "Being a Disciple: Counting the Real Cost" or "Living Like You Belong to God." These studies will help you know what you believe and why you believe it.

    Growing in the knowledge of God's Word is a delightful journey! As God reveals His Word, you get to know Him more! And that brings blessedness! :-) God bless you, Kala!
    Marie Sumo
    At Kala
    on Friday, November 2, 2012 at 12:57 am
    You should read the book of Proverbs. It will help you get the knowledge you looking for. Its simple to read and understand. Just stay connected to God at all times and you will have all the knowledge you could possibily think of.
    Delight in the Lord,and He shall give you the desirws of your heart. Psalm 37:4
    The book og psalm is also good to read:)
    Erin Davis
    Heart4missions
    on Friday, November 2, 2012 at 7:05 am
    Yep, it stay on the blog.

    Thanks!

    e
    Kaylee S. Smith
    @Renee
    on Friday, November 2, 2012 at 12:11 pm
    Renee,

    I know JUST how you feel! I was feeling all the things you're feeling just last week. What did I do to get out of that rut? Well, I sat down on day, on my bed, and cried. I simply cried. I was sooo frustrated that I couldn't hear God nor feel His presence....then I sat there in silence. Instead of thinking about how I can't hear His voice, I started thinking about how much He loves me. My heart started to dwell on the fact that He adores me. It was then, after several times of saying that to myself, I felt the curtain of fog lift and I could FINALLY FEEL Him!

    Zephaniah 3:17 - "The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing."

    He absolutely adores you. He thinks about you constantly and smiles every time. He holds on to your every word and is overjoyed when you spend time with Him.

    I personally think that the time I went through was a testing on my faith. He was testing me to see if I would spend time with Him and talk to Him even when I couldn't feel His response. I know it's hard, but you can do it! I believe in you! And best of all....Christ believes in you!

    God Bless,

    ~Kaylee
    JAZZY 101
    What's your story?
    on Friday, November 2, 2012 at 12:26 pm
    Hi!

    Thank-you for this blog! I sent an email regarding this! This really stood out to me. This year, has been a real struggle for me. One of the things I've mentioned is that someone I really liked God decided no, you're not ready. Or he might not be the one, and feeling a lone some-times. God has been directing me more and more towards HIS word each and every-day. I'd rather want to talk to someone in person, but instead: remember you can always talk to me! WHich is true!

    It's sometimes easy to give up on God because of the trials, despite seeing how God's been healing me.

    But I just wont, the happiest thing that happened to me this year, is being reunited with an old friend of mine that I've liked ever since high-school! I know I keep mentioning my friend, Yet, God decided to cause him to go on an awesome adventure. So, he wouldn't consume my thoughts. It's so hard, I'm not going to lie.

    That's my story so far, God's starting to bring other friendships in my life, such as some great girlfriends. Only God could heal my wounds, but it's so hard to give up, and lay him at the feet of JESUS.

    I could use prayer for that. THank-you. It's painful, and wondering what God will do.

    I was so heart-broken, because I really disappointed. Becuase, I was like why God? But as I mentioend before God really used him to open up the doors for me to heal!

    It's so hard to learn that my joy doesn't come from him. It's so hard to let go. And at times I've been wanting to cry, because after trials I've been facing, God decides to go on an adventure and lean on God more.

    It's like when God will this end? I don't think I've ever dived into the word of God this much before in my life. I am still praying for my friend whose on an adventure. I could use prayer that God would help me find contentment and happiness in God, and not my friend. Even though, we have so much in common, and he's a believer!

    It's so hard. I'm not going to lie, with the other guys it wasn't like this, but with him it's different. It sometimes makes me want to cry, I know I'm not ready to be in a relationship in the least. It's hard to see when other believers seem to have it so good, and God makes it hard for you.

    And God calls you to keep pouring your pain out to God.
    Christen Haig
    Things to do in Quiet time
    on Friday, November 2, 2012 at 4:40 pm
    One thing you can do during quiet time is just to be quiet. Listen to some soaking, good Christian music, and wait on God to come to you. Be available. Like Samuel, who lying still in his bed, heard God calling his name, and answered simply 'Here I am".
    By good Christian music, I mean music that dosn't just speak about God, but speaks to God. I recommend Kari Jobe, Chris Tomlin, Mandisa, Selah, Hillsong Chapel, Audrey Assad.
    And, of course, we all also need to read/hear the truth of God in the Bible in quiet time.
    Oh, and I'd also recommend highly recommend watching or listening to Kurt Schneider on TV- it's called "Discovering the Jewish Jesus". He has a website with the same name too. You can also listen to John Piper's sermons on his website desiringgod.org
    Hope this helps!
    God bless you all!
    Naomi
    what God ahs done for me
    on Friday, November 2, 2012 at 8:29 pm
    God has blessed me with a wonderful little sister and she make me smile alot and she will make you smile even when you are sad. I blessed to have all the clothes that I have and to have as big as a family that I have.
    Morgan
    God is Faithful
    on Saturday, November 3, 2012 at 12:22 am
    To put it simply, one of the major things that God has taught me/is teaching me through out this past year is that He is really and truly all that I need. He is teaching me to be completely content and satisfied in Christ and in the blessings that flow from salvation in Him. He is teaching me that His plans are the best and wisest thing that could ever happen. It's been a rough year for me - dealing with health issues in the family and various guy problems (I'm sure all you girls know what I mean ;)) - and I've struggled with discontentment and loneliness and believing that my plans were better than God's and not truly trusting Him. But God is faithful, and time and time again He has shown me His unending love for me, and He continually reminds me that His providence is perfect. And I'm learning to trust Him and to rejoice in all circumstances knowing that He is being glorified. <3
    Cheer:)
    @Kaylee S. Smith and Renee
    on Saturday, November 3, 2012 at 7:05 pm
    Hey girls! Ah! I feel the same way yall are talking about. I'm frustrated because i feel like I am hitting a sprititual wall. I want to grow and I had weeks were everything was going great. Now, I feel like I'm at a stand still spiritually if that makes sense. I don't pray like I should. My mind wonders or at night I fall asleep
    :(. Ugh. I want to get out of this hole.
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    @Emily, Renee, Emma Elizabeth, Kaylee and Cheer :-)
    on Saturday, November 3, 2012 at 10:43 pm
    One great way to "connect" with God is to get a journal, and every night before you go to bed list three to five things you are thankful for! After 30 days you have at least 100 things you can thank God for! Some days you will have to "search" for some things--big and/or small--and some days your heart will be anxious to make the list so you can express thanks! God delights in our praises and in our giving thanks to Him (remember the story of the ten lepers Jesus healed, and only one came back to say thanks--Jesus noticed!). Gratitude focuses our hearts on God and causes us to look to the good, instead of just thinking about ourselves. Try it--I think you will be blessed indeed...and it will get you out of the hole! Blessings to each of you! How nice that you care about your relationship with God!
    Cheer:)
    thanks sarah!
    on Saturday, November 3, 2012 at 10:49 pm
    Thanks so much sarah! I am definitely going to try that:) .
    Kaylee S. Smith
    Thanks, Ms. Sarah!
    on Sunday, November 4, 2012 at 5:27 pm
    Thank you!! I will try that, too. I am excited to see what happens! God Bless you.

    ~ Kaylee
    Renee
    Thanks, Kaylee S. Smith and Sarah!!
    on Monday, November 5, 2012 at 8:23 pm
    Kaylee- What you said made me feel like crying, because I do the exact same thing. Maybe I'm drowning His voice out with my own whining..

    Sarah- thank you!! I will definetly try this!!
    Lydia D.
    Question
    on Tuesday, November 6, 2012 at 10:51 am
    Is there a deadline for sending in my story?
    Erin Davis
    Lydia (and others)
    on Tuesday, November 6, 2012 at 3:47 pm
    We don't have a deadline exactly for your stories...

    But we'd love to have it ASAP so we can possibly use it in December.

    Thanks!

    Erin
    Christen
    Emily, Renee, Emma Elizabeth, Kaylee and Cheer
    on Tuesday, November 6, 2012 at 4:23 pm
    I just heard this song that reminded me of your guy's struggle. It's called Lament by Audrey Assad. Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzeAQE1I3L8
    Hope this can offer some sympathy!
    God bless and may he bring you all out of the dry land! And know that even now He trudges the weary road beside you!

    Highly Important-Read the book of Hosea!! like the whole thing, and especially chapter 11. Through this story, your Father will tell you a lot about who He is and who you are to Him.
    Rowan
    Re:
    on Tuesday, November 6, 2012 at 6:48 pm
    Hi everyone! I'm kind of new to this but I just wanted to say that for the past 2 years I've struggled with anorexia. I didn't think that it was hurting my relationship with God, but it was. It was hurting not only myself and my relationships with my friends, but more importantly my relationship with God. It still is taking a lot of effort to overcome, but I know that with God anything is possible! I loved what you all have shared! It really is touching!!! May God bless each and every one of you girls richly!

    ~Rowan
    Daughter of the King
    Re:
    on Tuesday, November 6, 2012 at 11:53 pm
    Lets just say God has had to be with me through out my life. Growing up for seven or eight years in foster care, being abused in EVERY way, and not trusting guys.But since then God has show me that there are strong Christian boys who are not after one thing. They just want to be my friends. So God has brought so many more great friends in my life. THey listen and most of all God listens. One year i was going through depression over my looks and if i would ever get a boyfriend. I considered taking my life. But i am alive today to tell you that God previled. Through my life God has show me that i have a purpose and that i was given a future and a plan. Through this i feel that God is now calling me to a career of physcology. I want to help other teens who feel that they have nothing to live for. I had something to live for and so do they. If God left those 100 sheep to find that lost lamb that wsa me then how could i not want to serve him? To think that i wanted to end Gods beautiful plan for my life and take it into my own hands. The one thing i relized so far this year is that God has made me for a purpose. And that purpose is to serve Him.
    Rowan
    Re:
    on Wednesday, November 7, 2012 at 11:10 am
    Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! Wow. That is an amazing story! I was "violoated" by a guy last year and it caused such turmoil in my life. I never felt whole. I hated the guy for doing what he did to me. Every night I would cry myself to sleep...asking God how He could let that happen to me. I always asked Him "Why me?" He never answered....and He still hasn't answered my question....but God HAS given me the strength to forgive the guy who did it to me. I never thought I would forgive him....but I did! It is still hard to trust certain guys in my life, but I truly know that God will somehow work it out all for His glory in the long-run :)
    Morgan
    Re:
    on Friday, November 9, 2012 at 6:03 pm
    I've fallen out of touch with God, but I was brought back a few months ago. I recently had to deal with a close friend of mine who had fallen pregnant at 17. She was a senior in high school, had a part-time job, had a boyfriend of 2.5 years and made all A's, but it was still difficult being in that situation.

    When she revealed this to me and asked me what she should do I was immediately going to my default answer of "don't kill the baby, it'll be wrong and you'll regret it forever", but later after I saw her disappointed face I knew I wasn't helping her. She thanked me for my "helpful advice" and I knew I had let my biasis try to make an important decision for her. Frustrated, I later randomly opened my Bible to find the perfect verse Philippians 3:14 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Like many around her I was trying to get in the way of someone's own free will. So the next day, I met her again and really thought about what would be best for her situation. I told that if I were in that situation I would most likely give birth and give it for adoption, but that I wanted her to really think about what would be best for her and to support her no matter what. And, when I saw her smile, which she rarely does, I knew I was doing the right thing. I have her the verse and told her to do some deep contemplation as she decided how to handle it.

    That was a few months ago, I can honestly say I was a good friend to her and supported her no matter my biasis. After much careful considerstion she had an abortion, which if asked about she will tell the truth that she has no regrets. Her boyfriend and her are still together, although they had a huge bump after the pregnancy. They went through consueling and are doing much better now, they have some issues left to work on, but things are looking hopeful. My friend is now at a great college with a promising future, and despite the nasty names people call her, she's doing her best and she's mostly happy. I really think that God steered me to look past my personal biasis and to help my friend in the way she needed.
    Svanahh
    Guys..out of touch with Christ.
    on Tuesday, November 13, 2012 at 8:43 pm
    Okay..I never thought I would come clean about this except to my friends...but here it goes.
    I've never had sex nor come close to it, nowadays it's not just sex. It's sexing to. Sexting has become my life with guys. I never know why I do it. I used to be someone who said I will always be a virgin tell I'm maried..but now I don't want to wait. I met this guy. I like him a lot he's two years older than me and we have to sneak around to hang out. We snuck around today and he picked me up from school and I told my mom I had this meeting to go to and she believed it. Well we went to the park close to my house and his brother was there to. We had planned to do some stuff nobody would approved of...but we didn't. We just kissed a lot an I'll be honest I've only kissed two guys and I'm fifteen. He kept putting his hands in my pocket and everything. It just felt so right but I know it's not. I just don't know how to change my old habbits. I can't even believed I confessed this.
    Last Edit: on Tuesday, November 13, 2012 at 8:56pm by cgaul  
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ Morgan
    on Wednesday, November 14, 2012 at 12:57 pm
    Thanks for sharing your story with us! When our biases are based on Scripture, they are never wrong, Morgan. It is always right to take a stand for the principles found in Godís Word. His words are the truth we can confidently build our lives on. All we can do is share the Truth. Everyone then has the free will to make their own choices. If our friends choose to go against what God says, they will be held accountable for their choices. We can come alongside, support and continue to point them back to Godís Word as the standard for their lives.

    The verse you gave her could have strengthened her in her resolve to trust God with the life of her child and her own future. Abortion is murder and murder is sin and there is no way around that. But God is faithful and just and He promises to forgive even the sin of abortion as we agree with God and seek His forgiveness (1 Jn. 1:9). When we are Godís own, He has the ability to even use tragedies like this for our own good.

    I am thankful that your friend was able to get some counseling after her decision. Abortion has the potential for wreaking havoc in many areas of our lives and may not show up for years down the road. I hope you continue to stand by your friend and support her.

    Iíve prayed for your friend and her boyfriend today. I pray that they will find Godís grace for their lives as they trust Him and choose to live their lives according to His ways. I've also prayed for you, Morgan, and asked God to continue to give you convictions based on Godís truth that you are not ashamed of and the courage to share them. May God continue to grow you in the grace and knowledge of His son, Jesus Christ.
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ Svannah
    on Wednesday, November 14, 2012 at 1:28 pm
    Thank you so much for having the courage to open up and share with us! That is the first step to overcoming this sin in your life. Sexting is not only a sin, but it is also illegal as it is viewed by the law as child pornography. It is not a safe thing for you to do and it will only lead you deeper into sin. Check out Erinís blog on this:

    Whatís the Big Deal about Sexting? http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=734

    Although your emotions are caught up with this guy, he is leading you down a dangerous road. He does not have your best interest at the center of his heart for you. Anytime a relationship involves sneaking around and lying to your parents, it is not good, my friend.

    I encourage you to come clean with your parents and enlist their help and protection in helping you get back on the right track. They love you, my friend, and desire Godís best for you. This guy is not part of Godís best if he is encouraging sexting and getting physical with you. Will you talk to your mom today?

    Iím praying for you, Svanahh! Iím asking God to give you the courage to talk to your mom and to choose to do what it takes to get back on the right track with the Lord again. His best for you is worth protecting and waiting for, my friend!
    Lauren
    My hardest year yet...
    on Sunday, November 18, 2012 at 12:21 am
    So....a lot of things have happened to me this year.....I Graduated, and started online College, I moved from Thailand to Oklahoma....and have dealt with cancer........

    The year started out normal, I was finishing HS (homeschooling) in Thailand, was active in our Co-op, was active at dance, and with family friends....then one day, 1 month before my graduation, my parents sat me and two of my brothers down (the youngest two, boy-girl twins 7 were too young) and told us my mom found a lump in her breast and that the Dr said she had a 90% chance of it being Breast Cancer. I didn't show any emotion (something I'm good at in hard times....like pain), although I was sobbing inside.....this was actually something I had been expecting since I was little......I had always known that my momma was going to hurt. I didn't know how, or when, but I always thought "what will I do as the oldest when this happens? How will I respond? How do I need to help her?" and then came up with different scenarios on what I'd do. I am SO thankful I did...because when it happened, I was (mostly) prepared.

    So, when my mom took more tests, the American Dr. told her that to have the best results, she needed to go to the US (MD Anderson, best in the US). He also told her that he saw this as a quick growing tumor, one that had the potential to kill her within months if not treated right away (it could easily metastasize, and move rapidly to unhealable areas), but that for some reason it was dormant (God's hand, as always...). My mom, being strong and stubborn told the Dr. that she wouldn't leave the country till I had graduated and my dance group had our performance. He agreed, reluctantly.

    So, after my mom left for the States, my dad had my take over. I was in charge of our houskeeper, and the kids schooling, and to make sure that everything was packed (we work for the Government, and if any medical leave is over 3 mo, then the family is to be medically evacuated, and her Chemo was 9 mo) for our move in 3 weeks. I had to go through the house, decide what we could live without for at least 4 months, and do school, and teach my sibs (Matt, 14 at the time, helped like a hero!!), and keep Julia, our housekeeper busy. It was a hectic 3 weeks, but I got through it...

    Over the next few months, my mom lost her beautiful waist length brown hair, and started wearing beanies (which she still wears, and look cute in!!). We moved into my grandparents, my moms parents, 2 bedroom house (with our 7 and their 2, we were crammed....), and started life..... almost......we lived in that house for 6 1/2 or 7 months!! Through all of this, my dad is trying to get his position transfered, so that we can live here until retirement in 3 years. (His dream post was Tulsa...and he got it!! PTL!!) I was trying to start College, er CLEPing really, the little ones were trying to learn how to amuse themselves without toys (although I did it as a kid....sticks make better guns than plastic ones, just sayin'), Matt was amusing himself with his guitar, and my mom was trying not to sit in her chair for more than 4 hours at a time....stupid Chemo took away her energy!!

    It was SO hard to see God through all of this, me especially. I hate to sound self centered, but I'm the one I know most about, therefore I'm the one I seem to see most. I wanted desperately to make momma's life easier, and my dads, and my sibs, so I was their comforter, the one they talked to. I seem to have so much to offer them, with listening, and prayer. But no one wanted to hear me. Matt was/is too worried about his problems with my dad (like peas in a pod they are!), and making my life sound lame compared to his problems when I did try that I gave up. My dad would make it sound like I was somehow totally wrong for not thinking of others, and give me a lecture on how to be selfless. My mom, well, usually I could tell my mom everything, but I knew that her emotions were WAY off kilter with Chemo, that if I told her, it would stress her out, and I didn't/don't want that.

    It wasn't until I got to visit my old home and friends in VA (some friends were visiting relatives in Kansas, and picked Matt and I up on their way back), that I got to breath. My friend Megan, whom I've come to treasure dearly listened to me, gave me Godly wisdom (so much wisdom in a 16 yo!!! Love it though!), and loves me through it all. I didn't want to come back to OK, I didn't want to hurt anymore. I was scared, hurt, torn, beaten (Matt and I fight alot....he's going through the rebellious teen years I never did...), starving for true friendship. I needed God, and I needed Megan. Two things I returned to when I went back to VA.

    I usually have a Dear God journal I write in, more like written prayers in a letter form. But, I hadn't written since February, when we found the lump, and found when I wrote again the other night it helped a lot.

    OK, back to main Subject...so, about a month ago we found a our house, and have been moving in for three weeks, we are still surrounded by boxes!! My mom's Chemo ended in October, and her masectamine is on the 28th. We are all nervous about the mas....she will be down, in bed for several days, then have to be ultra careful for several weeks.

    Being in my own room has given me the chance to reconnect with God, and think clearly, although I do still feel overwhelmed with a burden I can't carry....

    Thanks for listening/reading my rant. It feels good to write this out.

    I haven't asked for guidance, or prayer, but much is needed. I'd love guidance on how to become relaxed, and regain my energy. I've lost it. I sleep for 10 hours at a time, can't get myself to wake up, and during the day, I don't feel like moving. I used to be so agile, and mobile, and be able to get at most 7 hours, and be fine.

    Also, during this whole moving/cancer/learning experience I learned I have Hip Bursitis, and a severely week back. I've been having problems since I was 13, but hadn't got it check out till this summer. Please pray that I am able to overcome my constant pain, and for me to actually stop when my hips are swollen (I'm stubborn like my mom and danced for 8 hours one swollen hips and couldn't walk for days...).

    With an open heart, mind and soul,

    Lauren
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ Lauren
    on Monday, November 19, 2012 at 2:34 pm
    Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, Lauren! You have had quite a year! I am so thankful that you are getting to the point that you can get alone with God and commune with Him again! Your God journal is an excellent way to do that. You have been carrying a heavy load. Iím sure your parents have appreciated your help so much!

    I encourage you to begin opening up with your mom again. Although she has gone through and will still go through much with her upcoming surgery, being able to have a heart-to-heart talk with you will enable her to feel ďusefulĒ. Iím sure she has missed your talking times and would be blessed to have you confide in her about your struggles. God has given your mom and dad to you to help you and guide you. Although you want to protect them, they are still your parents. By sharing your heart and struggles with them, it is a way to honor them as your parents.

    Iím praying for your courage, Lauren and asking God to prepare their hearts to hear what you want to share with them. Iím also praying for your wisdom and discernment in handling your hip pain. Iíve also prayed for your mom and her upcoming surgery next week.
    Lauren
    Thank you!
    on Friday, November 23, 2012 at 12:27 am
    Thank You Lorree!! Your encouragement is just what I needed.....I need to start reading this more often again.....I've lost the habit of reading y'alls articles!!

    I am hopefully going to go shopping with her tomorrow (Black Friday....thankfully we live in a blink-or-miss-it town!!!!) and spend lost time....

    Thanks again!

    Lauren
    Lauren
    oops....
    on Friday, November 23, 2012 at 12:28 am
    I meant *don't*-blink-or-you'll-miss-it town!!!
    FaithLover
    My Story
    on Monday, December 17, 2012 at 12:59 pm
    My testimony is pretty long. So i'll share a part.

    Im a teenage girl , late in my teen years. I never thought I would be sharing my story like this, yet I have been craving to get it out of my chest. Many parts of my childhood scared me forever. They damanged me , and left me broken inside for the longest time. I never could forgive my parents ,and to this day I daily ask God to help give me the loving forgiving heart I need towards them. I always looked for love, protection, and the feeling of being wanted. I wasn't getting it at home , so I ran to Boys instead. During these years I promised myself , that i would never be like the girls I had hung of with. I would never ever do the things the things they did. It so funny to look back at those times , and just wish I could hug myself , and say "baby girl, hold my hand". I didn't want to be like those girls , yet I didn't run. The years got harder at home , I was so low.... Then this boy came, and he swept me of my feet. His messages , The daily phone conversations all day long , and so much more. We were both so young , and both looking to fill a empty hole. As the months went by with us, I completely gave him my heart, I was so sure I was in love with him , just like he was so sure he was in love with me,. But that hole wasn't getting full enough , so while being with him , I ran to other things , to help fill that hole. I broke his heart , I broke him completely. He cried to me , and cried to me. He was begging me to stop hurting him, I filled with so much hurt , angry ,and pain inside I didn't care. I ran to other things, and ended up giving myself away to someone who never even cared for me ... I gave away my virginity to a boy that took it like it was nothing , another name to add to his list... and all behind this poor boys back . So more months went by and instead of me running to things to fill that hole , he was. Yet every time we would run to each other begging for forgiveness, crying and telling each other we "LOVE" each other . He was the only person I had. The only one who I felt "loved , wanted, and protected me" ... then one day he left . He never said anything , he was just gone... Things at home got as worse as the could have gotten. Instead of having him to run too , I had no one. I was so empty . Then he would call , pop up , and say he loved me , then he would leave again without a word. Then he'd call again and come back , then leave once again. It was a sick game , that was tearing me apart . During this time I was suffering with Depression , this wasnt helping . I stopped eating , I lost 20 pounds and looked sick. Then one day he came back again, and he said the most hurtful words , telling me what my stepdad did i deserved , and that no one would ever ever love me. I begged him to stop but he wouldn't... I found myself so low , I started cutting daily .. I even tried to comit sucide. The one time this was happening he was fine ,talking to girls living his life , while i was trying to end mine. ... During this time in my life i was living with my drug addict father and soon got away and ended up somewhere great , i found God , I gave myself to him , and all my mistakes... I got baptized guys :)) and that empty hole you might me wondering about? it got filled with Gods never ending love.... Now Im waiting for Gods timing for love, until then im falling more in love with him daily. I still struggle with pain , and memories .. i still wish i could tell that boy how sorry i am for all the pain and tears i caused him. I know God is everything he never was... I know that because of Christ i am forgiven and i can start AGAIN , CLEAN. That was a year ago... and i'm standing strong.. God had a purpose for my life....

    even when I didn't realize it.
    Chiaki
    Please pray for my dad...
    on Tuesday, December 18, 2012 at 11:22 am
    Every year has had the same ending: my dad ruining our Christmas. He always ended up drunk and made me and my mom cry.
    The source of the troubles in my (and mostly mom's) life this year and every other year are coming from dad. Girls...this is what might happen when you marry to a non christian! ( my mom is christian, but married with dad, a non-christian )
    At least this Christmas, I really wish things would go better! Please pray with me for my dad and for this Christmas !

    Other than that, this year was a mostly different year than the others! It was really productive too!
    Thanks to God, my grades raised up, and I finally cured myself of procrastination, and I have finally started to study seriously.
    I also managed to make more real life friends. I used to be someone that has mostly internet friends with an almost social anxiety but now I started to go to a youth group too and since it's my first year of high school with new classmates, I tried to be more friendly and get along with others. This year also had many blessings including finding out about LYWB :') . I thank God for all those blessings and lessons I've learnt this year.
    faithgirl108
    @chiaki
    on Tuesday, December 18, 2012 at 12:41 pm
    aw my sister in christ , im so sorry to hear that. You are in my prayers <3 i will be praying for you everyday and on christmas. Thats so great you are doing Great in school , keep it up . God is proud of you :) Also glad to see your making good friends!! High school is a big thing, just try and make great good, friends. Thats awesome you joined a youth group!!! You and your mom have each other remember that!!! much love to you baby girl !
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    @chiaki...
    on Wednesday, December 19, 2012 at 1:03 am
    I join faithgirl in praying for you! I am so sorry for all of the sadness and trouble your dad's poor choices bring for you and your mom. Cling to the Lord and cling to each other. I pray the strength that you have displayed this year will be a resting place for your heart in these next days. You have done so well; we are so proud of you!! Blessings to you this Christmas and may the Prince of Peace reign in your heart and home.
    Chiaki
    Be blessed!@sarah @faithgirl108
    on Wednesday, December 19, 2012 at 7:29 am
    Thank you so much! I am blessed to have such wonderful sisters in Christ out there in the world 8'D! May God give both of you wonderful holidays filled with blessings <3
    me
    this is my story
    on Wednesday, December 19, 2012 at 8:27 pm
    when i was like 3 i prad for god to come into my hart but i never got in then when i was i dont know like 3 or 4 years ago i got in to alot of bad stuff that i whod rely on to feel good abowt my self then i whod rely on boys to give me the love that i was longing for but then i just new i needed to stop whith the drugs, the sex and all of the sin so i prad for god to chang my life and he did !!!! i have never done drugs
    Smiley:)
    Story
    on Saturday, December 22, 2012 at 3:34 pm
    this year certainly hasn't been the most difficult year, but it has been a year when i began to realize things, which led me closer to God and made me want to lead a more Christ centered life. change has a way of bringing us closer to God. this year has definitely been a year of change. in January of this year, I was sent back to public school, and I'm happy to say I've survived and I'm still alive and kickin'. I've come to appreciate things in life more because I never know how long I'll be able to enjoy them anymore. I know that change can happen at any moment. It's a valuable lesson that I have been learning since the year of 2011 (which, if you asked me, would be one of the most difficult times in my life). I'm sure God isn't finished with this season of my life. Even when I'm suffering, or when someone else is suffering, it doesn't make me angry anymore because I know that everything happens for a reason and that we are never alone. I am still learning about the importance of being our best and cherishing the gift of life. Sometimes, these lessons are very painful. I have struggled with anxiety for ten years, and when I get anxious, I feel it all over. There are days when I wonder how much longer I have here because the pain is almost too much to take. (it's hard to believe that anxiety can do this to a person) Although it scares me on some levels that our days are numbered, it is what brings me closer to God and to other people. It pushes me to live better.
    The trials of 2011 and 2012 have also helped me forgive people who have hurt me in the past(what hurts now is that I can never know if they forgave me or not) and to be rid of hate for anyone. I can honestly say that I don't know where I'd be now if I still had such bitter feelings. I have met people who have difficulty with forgiveness and hatred. I know it is difficult for them and i pray for them often, hoping that it won't have to take near brokenness for them to come to realize what they have. i hope that one day, they can feel the way I feel and can look forward to the next year, when they know that things can get better.
    Macey
    I feel like a freak!!
    on Sunday, April 7, 2013 at 4:33 pm
    I have tried really hard to talk to other kids about god,and I FAIL every time I just feel like they will make fun of me,please pray along with me that I can become a witness!

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