Where Have All The Good Guys Gone?

posted by Erin Davis on 11/20/12 | Twitter: @ErinGraffiti
Category: Guys; ; 52 comments

Recently, one of our readers left this comment.

How do you overcome anger and frustration against guys? Not one single godly guy is a part of my life right now—not in the shape of a father, not in woman asking questionsthe shape of a guy friend, not in the shape of a brother, not in the shape of a mentor. I want to love the men in my church and my life like the Word commands me to, but I feel frustrated, disappointed, discouraged, and angry with the Christian men that I see.

I pray for the guys in my life constantly. I keep begging God to conform them to His likeness—to His character as the best of fathers, to His role as the most tender of husbands. I know that God is working and that, since I am praying in conformity with His will, He hears me, but how do I overcome such intense anger and disillusionment?

While I appreciate her honesty, my heart breaks for the pain and disappointment she has clearly faced at the hands of men. I can relate to some degree. My father left our family when I was ten. I spent more than a decade afterward untrusting of men and convinced that all men were destined to leave me, fail me, or disappoint me.

But the truth is, all men don't leave. Just like they don't all want "one thing" and they're not all a bunch of emotionless robots. In fact, my heart started to change toward men when I realized that they are made in the image of God just like we were.

Genesis 1:27 
says, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."

Men were made with the same precision and purpose that we were. They don't have an extra animal chromosome or some biological difference that sets them apart to be less like Christ than we are.

Yes, men are bound to disappoint us, but it's not because they're men; it is because they are sinners.

Romans 3:23 reminds us that "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God."

That means every single guy you know will miss the mark when it comes to Christlikeness. They cannot walk out their faith perfectly, but may I gently remind you, sweet girl, that neither can you.

I worry that an unexpected side effect of encouraging young women to wait for God to provide the "perfect" guy to date and marry is the sudden realization that no one is perfect. Suddenly no one can measure up to the lists we've written and the kind of man we idealize, and we find ourselves feeling "frustrated, disappointed, discouraged, and angry."

Sometimes we look down our nose at great men because they aren't perfect men.

If I could take the girl who wrote the comment above out for caramel lattes (extra whip please!), I'd probably ask her to list what she sees the guys around her doing right. None of us have perfect dads, perfect brothers, or perfect guy friends (Spoiler alert: you won't have a perfect husband either), but there are many, many men in our homes and schools and churches who are following Christ and letting Him change them.

In fact, I think it might do us all some good to celebrate the men in our lives and to take a moment to recognize all of the ways they bear the image of God. They may never read it (this is liesyoungwomenbelieve.com, after all!), but it would do our own hearts good to recognize that while no man is perfect, many have a lot to offer.

So leave me a comment below telling me about the great guys in your world. Tell me about your fathers, your pastors, and your friends who are following Christ's example. For every girl who's ever thought "there's not a single good guy out there," let's prove them wrong.

Note: For those of you who truly have experienced hurt and disappointment at the hand of a man, be sure to hop back on the blog next Monday where I will wrestle with the difficult subject of forgiveness.

Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

    Courtney
    Wonderful Men in my life
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 6:17 am
    When I was younger, I too despised men! I thought that they some were cruel, and insensisitive. But I'm realizing, as God is changing my heart, that I love men, and the unique perspectives and masculinity that God has given them is honorable. My father, for example, has not surrendered his life to the Lord. Yet, I see many things in him that are honorable. My father works very hard; while he didn't give me the material things I want, he has always worked hard to provide the things I need. He is paying my tuition, making sure I have the dental care that I need, and making sure that my dorm room is nice and cozy for the winter. I love that my dad has shown me what it means for a man to be a provider! My pastor is my father in the faith, and I love him dearly! He is such a hard worker and he is like a big teddy bear. He is an amazing father, and is passionate about the church. He has a heart for missions and teaches us the Word of God. I couldn't have asked for a better undershepherd. Just when I began to think "all men are alike", God opens my eyes and allows me to sit under men of God that truly love Him. I'm so thankful! They are not perfect men, but they have set the standard high for a future spouse. God is so good!
    Nicole
    I am very blessed
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 8:09 am
    Hello girls,

    After reading this I realized I am so blessed. I have some great christian men in my life.

    My dad is really amazing. Sure, we have our ups and downs like everyone else. But he is wise and really looks out for our family.

    One of my best friends in a guy who has grown up in a christian home and even though he is kind of quite at times, You can see that he loves God.
    He is like a brother.
    He is also good friends with my brother and I pray he passes on his wisdom to him.

    I want to thank God for the men He has blessed me with.

    I'll be praying for the rest of you girls.
    Hugs,
    Nicole
    Jennifer
    guys in my life
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 8:12 am
    I go to a BIG church, so let me tell you...there is NO shortage of christian men. The main guy in my life is my dad. He's probably my best guy friend. Next is my 16 year old brother...we talk about everything. At church, my old jr high leader is still a good friend and other guys that I have gon out in groups with for concerts and stuff.
    I think its a good idea not to think that your future spouse will be perfect, because soooo many people believe the are looking for the "perfect"one...awesome post!!!
    Livia
    Wonderful Men
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 8:24 am
    In my life, I too have had so many men let me down, disappoint me, and leave me growing angry and bitter. A short list of this would be my brother, my best-friend, and many of my friend's ex-boyfriends. Because of this, I shut down, clammed up, and refused to let anyone else in. I didn't want to be hurt by anymore people.
    But this list isn't about the men who have let me down, it is about the ones who haven't given up on me and still care for me. This list would be my father, my pastor, and a dear friend. My father has sacrficed so much for me and my family. Right now, he is working two jobs so I can go to college. Talk about sacrifice. And though he isn't perfect, he is godly, loving, and supportive. My pastor was the man who dedicated his life to young adults. He reinforced what my father taught me as a child about God. He made me want to know God more. And my dear friend has slowly gotten me to open up. Over the span of three years, I finally learning to trust again because of his persistance in wanting to get to know me better. I am grateful for his unfailing drive and kindness in understanding my trust issues.
    Without these men in my life, I would have locked myself away in bitterness and depression. These men aren't perfect, but they are Christ-focused, Spirit-filled, servants of the living God. They point me back to God continually, reminding me who I am, what I'm worth, and who I'm living for. These men are wonderful men.
    Marie Sumo
    Guys in my life
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 8:39 am
    Wooww,at first I agree with the topic question of "where have all the good guys gone",but reading the post made me realize that I do have good giys in my life. It might not come from my family at home,but they are still part of my life. My oldest good guy just passed away this weekend,which is so shocking to me and can't believe. He was one of the best godly man in my life. Next to him is my pastor and youth leader. They are men of God who is not afraid to tell us their downfall,so we don't think they are perfect. But they are obedient to God and helping us in our walk with God. I am thankful for the godly men in my life right now,and know mu husband won't be perfect,but will be a man of God:)
    Jenna
    ?
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 9:06 am
    Ok, so I know that guys aren't perfect, but I feel like there are absolutely NO guys at my school who are even Christian! I'm sure that is not true, but from what I see all the guys- when they are around other guys- say that going to church is a waste of time and make jokes about God. I have never come across someone who talks freely about faith. Why do they act like this? Are there good Christian guys out there?
    Tabby
    Re:
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 9:28 am
    I have been disappointed before with men, but God has also placed some very godly men in my life. My pastor and youth pastor are very godly men. And I know several boys at my church who are trying their best to follow Christ's example.
    Grace
    Re:
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 10:18 am
    I am very blessed to have godly men in my life. My father, grandfather, and uncle are the most caring men I have ever met. As far as other men go, I will say that I don't seek perfection in a guy. I would be perpetually disappointed. And if a guy was looking for perfection in me, he would be horribly disappointed. All I can say in my own defense is that I try to do God's will. It is pathetic how often I fail, but I do try. All I want to see in anyone, guy or girl, is that they make an effort, that they genuinely seek after God and His will. And I don't know, I have little life experience, so please take this with a grain of salt, but I believe that true attraction does not start physically. I think it starts as a genuine and deep admiration for someone's character.
    Lydia D.
    Amazing men
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 10:18 am
    Well I realized that I am blessed to have several wonderful guys in my life.
    1) My Dad- He is Godly and seeking to lead my family in the right direction.
    2) My two older brothers- They have certainly messed up in several ways, but their ultimate desire is to serve and please God.
    3) My pastor and associate pastor- Both are very humble, excellent teachers.
    Now all of the above are married men, but I have met at least three single young men that are truly trying to keep God as number one in their lives.
    Antonio
    We are all flawed and fallen
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 10:19 am
    It really gets us in trouble and I feel is a very effective tactic of Satan, (which he has used to destroy numerous marriges within the chuch), to try to see anyone as perfect. We are ALL flawed and fallen individuals and the only one who is perfect is Jesus Christ. I think we all need to be taught more fervently that ONLY Christ can fill that void in our hearts, will NEVER leave/forsake us, and will NEVER let us down. As men and women we need to pray for each other and realize we are all seeking to become more like Christ everyday with the ability to fall short in EVERY area of life. We will never be perfect on this side of eternity, but we serve the one who is and to him we should offer up prayers for those who fall short in our lives so that He may do a work in their lives while we strive continue to show love and forgiveness only in the power of the Holy Spirit.
    Sunshine
    They are out there
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 10:43 am
    I don't know many Godly guys, but there are a few. My pastor is truly a man of God. He is humble, Christlike, and he seems to have raised his sons to seek Christ as well. I also attended a summer camp a few years back that was run by a group of Godly leaders. All the men are Godly, and even the younger guys who are my age are seeking after God. It's amazing to see that there are guys (especially in my generation) who are truly seeking after God and not just going to church because of tradition or wanting to be a "good person." Godly guys are out there, for those of you who don't know. I'll be praying for you girls that God will bring them into your life.
    Abigail
    My dad :)
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 10:53 am
    My dad is amazing. I have been really really blessed by God to be put in a family with a father who cares, loves, protects, and who works hard. My dad is really considerate and, even though he may not be understanding all of the time, he is reasonable and serves to LORD first! I'm thankful for my father raising me in a Christian home, praying with me and for me, and bringing me up to be a hard worker for God's glory. Of course, he isn't perfect. As it says above, no one is. Except for God :) So, not only am I thankful for my earthly father, I am also thankful for my heavenly one who will never fail me and who always understands! <3
    Laura
    Re:
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 11:10 am
    God has blessed me with many godly men in my life (both young and old) esp. my grandfather, father and pastor. They would be the last ones to admit that they were perfect and yet they are the most God-fearing. And it is hard to see them as godly in times when they sin, esp. when it hurts me. I just have to remember that I am a sinner too and I know how hard it is not to sin. Thankfully God has been changing my heart to see that not everyone is perfect no matter how hard I want them to be. But that is why God sent us Christ; to be the perfect Man for us that no human man could.

    And as I was reading what Erin wrote a thought accrued to me. If we are thinking "where are all the good guys" are guys wondering "where are all the good girls"? It made me stop and think...does my life reflect a godly women or the opposite? What do the guys in my life see in me? Here I am praying for this perfect godly guy and yet I myself am not striving to be more like Christ. How I am supposed to except guys to be “good” when I am not “good” myself?
    Christina
    Men in My Life
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 11:25 am
    My brother is one of deep anger problems, my father isn't in my life (and is not saved), my grandpa recently got saved but he needs to grow, i have been let down by many people in my life. I know that there are good guys though. So much has happened in my life that i have trust issues, i really find it hard to trust a guy. If a guy steps one step too far i get uncomfortable and move away, not that it would be uncomfortable to most, just me. My mom dated i don't know how many guys that just were not good guys. I do find it hard to trust, but i do know that there are guys that are good. I still have trust issues, but slowly those walls are getting knocked down because God is allowing me to grow and see with clearer eyes! The pastors at my church are amazing, teen guys in my youth group (most) are Godly, there is this one guy that is really like a dad to me and he is a Godly guy. I do know that there are guys that are good Godly guys. I don't have the best guys in my family, but i was blessed with Godly guys in my spiritual family!
    ashley
    re
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 12:02 pm
    god is good and whether he answers our prays or not god still hears you about having christian men in our lives thats what im praying now.
    Elle
    Wait on the Lord; they do exist!
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 12:31 pm
    After having my heart broken multiple times by brothers in Christ who turned out to be selfish, manipulative, and insensitive, I too became hardened. However, just wait on the Lord! My best friend and "boyfriend" now is such a caring Christ-like man who loves me like Jesus and treats me like a princess. My dad is the same. The good guys do exist; God brings them to us in His time!
    Kaylee S. Smith
    Über Blessed
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 12:33 pm
    I'm definately blessed with godly men in my life. I have some awesome guy friends who are trying to be more like Christ every day. Yes, sometimes they fall, but their heart is really what matters. My dad: he is a godly man. He has some trouble being godly sometimes (as everyone does) but his heart, as well, is well meaning.

    I will be praying for you girls whom have not had godly men in their lives. <3

    ~ Kaylee S. Smith
    Alyssa
    Godly men
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 1:04 pm
    I am so blessed to have my dad as a father! He is so thoughtful and loving. I would never want to replace him! :)
    twinklybear
    menmenmen!
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 1:29 pm
    I have been blessed to have grown up and been exposed to several godly men in my life. My father. He is an amazing role model for me and just my whole family. Then my brother...I have no idea what I would do without him! No joke!. I really have been blessed to have him in my life. Then also the guys (it feels awkward calling them boys) from my youth group who also have some great qualities and this is quite impressive. They have manners, they are godly, they are respectful, but they're nowhere near perfect. and it's definetely not ALL of them. There are a few that still need more of God (don't we all though?!) but hey, I just keep praying that God will really work in their hearts. The male leaders in my youth are really godly men aswell and they are there to mentor the guys too. But overall, I can assure you girls that there are still countless number of godly guys out there and I am praying that God will soften your heart :) I will be praying that God shows you a few godly guys. Lots of love, xo.
    monica
    Re:
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 1:39 pm
    Although I agree that its hard to find good guys out there, they ARE around. I also have a date who treats my Mom badly and a brother who seems to taken over from his Dad. But I have a friend, her husband is a really good guy, he helps with the kids, works hard, loves his wife and would NEVER flirt with another girl, and its not like he has no backbone, he totally is the the leader in the family, he just doesnt lead like he is the boss. There are a few more like that, cant think of them right now, but I know there a couple. Whenever I get tempted to lower my standards and marry a guy who doesnt live a responsible life, dates lots of different woman, and has God as a backburner thing, I just think about those good guys. They do exist, you just have to be patient :)
    Hannah
    So Very Blessed!
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 1:42 pm
    I have been reading the blog for a few weeks now, but this is my first time commenting. I thought if was high time that I comment. :)
    I know that some girls aren't as blessed as I am, but God has given me many wonderful men in my life. He has blessed me with my dad, my younger brother, my pastor, my youth pastor, my uncles, my grandpa, and some Godly guy friends. I appreciate each one of the men listed above. They have all played significant roles in my life! God has blessed each one of us abundantly, but sometimes we just choose to ignore His blessings.
    Katie P.
    I'm Blessed
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 1:50 pm
    I am defiantly blessed with strong Christian men and young men in my church and home. My dad has been and still is the strongest Christian man who teaches me and encourages me and he is the one who constantly reminds that we are not perfect and that he is defiantly not perfect. I have also been blessed with many young men in my church who want to become more like Christ and want to be the man God has called them to be. I have known most of them and been friends with most of them for years so its amazing to see them come to know Christ and even though they are not perfect they still strive to honour him. I thank God for these blessings in my life as we together want to worship Him and glorify His name.

    I'll pray for you girls that don't have godly men in your lives to encourage you...
    Cece
    Re:
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 4:26 pm
    Thanks Erin for giving us a opportunity to do this! It can surely help us soften our hearts! I would say although my dad is not perfect, he is still a Great Provider for our family..even though he's barely at home, I still Appreciate what he's done and taken care of us and our needs! :)
    God'sChild
    good men and when to lower standards?
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 5:24 pm
    I would say my youth pastor is a great guy. It is cool to see how he is a cool guy but he loves the Lord so much! I hope i find a guy like him.

    Lowering standards? Like you said Erin, guys are not perfect. I have a list of standards I want for my future husband (pretty much making him have to be a perfect guy:)....but obviously no guy can live up to perfection, and I have heard we are not suppose to lower our standards for a husband. Where is that line of balance to not expect a perfect guy, but not lower my standards? Thanks for the post:)
    mike
    life/location gets in the way:(
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 6:37 pm
    I am a Godly man. At least I try to be. And I would like to find a christian wife but usually life/kids get in the way. There are many hundreds of attractive christian women on the internet dating sites seeking companionship but very few who will consider a man from another location. Which counts me out. It took 3 years to find this permanent job and I want to be a provider so quitting and moving is not an option for me. It's frustrating to continually hear, "Wow, you live way up there? I don't know...." No, there isn't a Starbucks and a TGIF in my area, but there are single christian men. Ones who shave on saturdays. Ones who wear nice shirts with ties. But we can't move and still be the providers of a new family if we were blessed with a christian wife.
    Brittany
    Re:
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 6:53 pm
    This is a great post, but I haven't meant many or almost any good men in my life. Though my biology teacher from 10th grade, and P.E. teacher throughout high school were like father figures to me. I don't really have a father figure in my life, even though he is there, or around I should say. My pastor is great though.
    Morgan
    So Blessed
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 7:38 pm
    Wow. I have never realized how truly blessed I am to have the men in my life that God has placed in my life. This post really opened my eyes!
    1) My Dad - he is the most hardworking person I know. He loves the Lord, and demonstrates his love for the Lord by the way he loves my Mom and siblings and I. He is so sacrificial, patient, and a peacemaker.
    2) My brothers - although they're all younger than me, they know their duty to protect girls and they do try to "take care of me" especially if I'm sick or something. They are precious. :)
    3) My Uncle - he is a pastor/missionary and such a godly influence on my life. I've been blessed with many different opportunities to serve my church through the various "connections" he has.
    4) Guy friends - I have two or three very solid Christian guy friends. They are a blessing to me because I am able to spend time with guys, getting to know what they're like and how they think about things and have very edifying conversations, yet at the same time they are also striving for purity so there is much respect in the relationships. So it's a mutual building-each-other-up-friendship. :)
    Madeline
    SO blessed!
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 8:37 pm
    01. My Dad- he is so incredibly amazing and godly! He is such a blessing and gift from the Lord. I am so thankful for Him!

    02. My close guy friends- I have at least 4 super godly good guy friends. They are all amazing and I love them all so much, since I don't have any brothers they are like my adopted brothers. I'm so thankful for the blessing they are in my life.

    There are super good guys out there, God is so good and faithful and he will bring the right people!
    My fear of men... JAZZY 101
    Perfect timing!
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 9:11 pm
    Thank-you for this wonderful post!!! This is certainly God's timing for me!!!

    To make a long story short, I was very hurt by my former baby-sitter when I was five years old. It wasn't until God brought a wonderful young man in my life who I have had a crush on since I first met him in as a freshmen in High-school...

    I used to believe the lie that every-guy was my baby-sitter, and even no... I'm getting counseling, and the hardest thing to do now is to forgive the person who hurt me when I was five.

    I didn't realize how much hurt, and damage there was and still is. God has been opening up so many doors for the first time in my life to finally to heal. God is only giving me male professors as teachers, tutors etc, and it's such a struggle, for me.

    It's just so hard for me to heal, I have had night-mares ever since I can remember about men hurting women, and some-times I feel like when I make a step forward, I get scared again.

    And I truly honestly believe, that God used my friend who I have a crush on and had since I was a freshmen in high-school opened up all these painful doors.

    It's hard to trust men, and I've never been in a relationship before in my life, nor have I ever truly trusted men! I don't know how, but it's only by the grace of God that I was able to say yes, for the very first time after college to go out with my friend twice on a date!

    It's taken me all the way to begin to earn my masters degree, right out of college, to heal, and every-time I get a test grade back, that's when I slowly begin to realize that these men are not the same as my former baby-sitter. I've prayed a lot about it, and I've decided to earn a masters degree in business management, little did I know that the majority of the people I'd be working with is men.

    (I didn't know that before hand...:) I need help learning to forgive, letting go, trusting, and verses and why did God bring one specific friend to bring up all the pain? I don't want to be stuck!

    It's been a struggle, for forgiveness, healing, and tons of tears ever-since.

    I'm basically taking my anger and hurt out on all my teachers etc, by not listening to them, and when I will get a test grade back, that's when God begins to open my eyes to see that they are not the same. (I'm getting a masters degree...) That's how long it's taken me..

    I praise God for my friend, and a wonderful counselor whose helping me. I'll take all ideas, prayers, I can get, I don't want to be stuck.

    I didn't realize how angry I was towards men, until I finally
    My fear of men... JAZZY 101
    Oops! Sorry, about last sentence!
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 9:14 pm
    Oops!
    Sorry, I made a mistake on the last sentence! I accidently said the same thing twice! Sorry!
    Fathers
    Our fathers are only human, and will fail us sometimes. That doesn't mean God will.
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 9:36 pm
    I've struggled with the subject of men for years. I've recently started my 10th grade year, and now that most of my friends are dating, I've been forced to think. I am dealing with my fear of abandonment because my parents divorced when I was 2, and he had a new family. I know its illogical, but I'm still talking and praying about this. The best part is I know that I may not have any Christian men to talk to, but I have God. He will never leave me, and he loves me. My real father called me his princess, and let me down. My Heavenly Father has made me a princess, and carries me during my hardest trials. Thank you Father...
    Ally Elisha
    A question.
    on Wednesday, November 21, 2012 at 8:28 am
    Hey, so I recently met this guy. No he's not perfect. Yes, he is a great guy. He is very sweet and caring, and we have a lot of the same interests.
    We talked for awhile, and then when it came to talking about religion, he told me that it's been a few years since he went to church.
    I started praying then that God would through someway lead this guy back to the church. Pull this amazing young man back into his hands. I prayed so hard.
    A few weeks passed, and the topic of religion got brought up again. This young man told me that he'd found his bible from when he was younger, and he'd begun to read it again, because of me.
    I'd influenced him.
    I was so overjoyed that God had started to answer my prayers, and that slowly but surely, he was pulling him back in.

    And then this young man told me something else. He'd been raised as a catholic. I myself am a baptist Christian. I started praying that God would lead this guy into Christianity.
    That evening, This guy told me that he was going to convert to Christianity. He says that he really likes me, and if that if he needs to become a Christian in order to date me, he's going to become a Christian.

    I have no idea why God brought this guy into my life. But every night I pray for him, and that God's will would be done in our lives, and, because I kinda like him too, maybe, just maybe, one day we can be together.

    My question is this: Is the catholic belief system similar enough to the christian one, that if someone received salvation as a catholic, they'd actually received salvation? I understand this is a confusing question, but I really would like to know.
    Christina
    Re: Ally Elisha
    on Wednesday, November 21, 2012 at 9:59 am
    Hey girl, prayer works! Amen to that! Salvation is salvation, ones a person is saved then they are saved. A person can be any religion and still be saved. I can tell you, though, that Catholics are a bit different then Baptists. I am Baptist. Catholics have a lot of different beliefs and traditions, so that could cause some conflict. Keep on praying, but if this guy still follows the Catholic system then i would say that you need to not be with him or you need to wait until he grows in Christianity. You have to be careful about that stuff, the opposite religion can pull you down, and you don't want to do that. That's why the verse in the Bible talks about being unequally yoked, because they will pull you down. (2 Corinthians 6:14)
    Ally Elisha
    Re: Christina
    on Wednesday, November 21, 2012 at 11:43 am
    I know. I've had that verse in mind this whole time. I'm being really careful not to let anything happen to my Christian faith while he and I talk and grow closer.

    Thanks for the reply. :)
    Tessa
    So Much Grace :)
    on Wednesday, November 21, 2012 at 6:27 pm
    Jesus has shown me so much grace through the men in my life! My Dad currently does not follow Jesus, but he's still one of my best friends: honest, humble, thoughtful, and real. My younger brother and I used to have a pretty difficult relationship, but as we've grown physically we've also grown in love. He's one of my favorite people on earth--silly, generous, and genuine. My grandpa and my uncles are so good at showing me love, encouraging me, and not being afraid to kiss me on the cheek. My youth pastor shines compassion everywhere he goes. Almsot every boy in my youth group is courteous, respectful, and kind. I am SO crazy blessed!

    Thank you, by the way, for reminding us that our husbands will not be perfect. I think we forget sometimes :)
    Abigail
    Great guys in my life
    on Thursday, November 22, 2012 at 6:41 am
    I thank God for alll the amazong guys he put in my life. My youth leaders are incredible godly and humble men! And the push to be closer and closer. Then thereLs that youth pastor that I just met at our youth convention and he is the best example of a men of God ever saw in my life! He's so humble, so lovely, so caring, so powerful,ect. MAybe the way I'm talking about him looks like someone who's in love but it's not the case. Hahahahahah! It's juste that he give me the best human example of a SERVANT of God and I can wait to practice what I saw him doing
    @Abigail
    agreed
    on Thursday, November 22, 2012 at 8:57 am
    I see what you mean. That is how I feel about my youth pastor.
    J
    Re:
    on Thursday, November 22, 2012 at 5:30 pm
    Praise the Lord, I go to an absolutely amazing school chock full of godly guys. I'm sooooo proud of all of them, they have grown so much in so many ways. I get to worship with them in church, & it amazes me how they will go out on weekends together not to party but to minister to the poor people on the streets. They are totally unashamed of the gospel, & treat us ladies like, well, ladies! :) Now, they aren't perfect, & they're not literally all like this, but I am so so so blessed to have them in my life. One of the things I'm most thankful for this Thanksgiving is their influence on my life. I've been challanged & grown & just led by their example. Needless to say I love them & I probably don't tell them enough but I can brag on them here & now. Also I have a spectacular Dad & Grandpa who are great examples of how to led a mature godly life, & I love them so much. God is so, sooooo good. :D
    p
    So sick of this crap
    on Thursday, November 22, 2012 at 5:45 pm
    Why do you encourage women to wait for God to bring them a man anyway? How retarded is that?

    Take her out for caramel lattes? Really? Is that a Christian-ified version of the statement "If I could take her out for a drink..." ? Caffeine is a drug, too you know. So is sugar. Is there something in the bible about how Jesus allowed sugar and caffeine but not alcohol?

    The reason you, writer of the original post, feel disallusioned with men is because they are. It's not up to God or prayer or you to fix that. It's up to them. Don't ever let anyone pat you on the head and tell you to forgive men because you're not perfect either, sweetie. Whoever says that is patronizing and is disrespecting your experiences. Enough men do that to women that we don't need other women doing it to us, too.

    Be angry! Eventually you'll get tired of being angry on your own and you won't have to "pray it away." Anger is a good thing sometimes. It can protect us from harm. As soon as you let your guard down and stop being angry that you're more prone to believing and letting bad people have their way with your sanity.
    Last Edit: on Thursday, November 22, 2012 at 6:45pm by cgaul  
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    @p
    on Thursday, November 22, 2012 at 6:51 pm
    We welcome your thoughts, but have edited your comments based on our Blog Ground-Rules.
    Teen4purity
    Hello, and thanks
    on Friday, November 23, 2012 at 2:38 am
    Hi there. I just discovered this blog and am so grateful for the encouragement it provides. The Lord was merciful to lead me here, just as I was struggling. I hope to be one f your most consistent bloggers, because I want to help spread the truth too. I'm a 16 year old girl, longing to be like Jesus in any way I can because He's so worth it. I want to encourage other teenagers around me to seek the same thing by foiling these lies.

    Sweet girls, pray for our men. Pray for yourselves,to be like our precious Savior.
    Smiley:)
    The good guys are still there, you just can't see them yet. Or so you think...
    on Sunday, November 25, 2012 at 12:55 pm
    I think that the problem is that too many of us are being pulled into the wake of the world's desires. Because of this, we get into relationships either too early, with too many expectations, or both. When we get into guy/girl relationships too early, we're too young to understand how to deal with these kinds of relationships and how to avoid sexual sin. At that point, we're not mature enough. When we enter relationships with unrealistic expectations, we're sure to be disappointed. It is good to have some expectations for a relationship, however things won't be perfect. Guys and girls are different. That's the bottom line. There will be different expectations. No, you won't be able to understand each other all the time. Yes, there are plenty of good guys out there, but too many of us, even us Christians are looking in all the wrong places. We must look to God first, otherwise, we won't have all we need to be able to make things work. Guy/girl relationships can be a beautiful thing-differences and all. They can even be fun, as long as you get involved in the right place and at the right time and put God above all things.
    Grace
    Re:
    on Sunday, November 25, 2012 at 11:40 pm
    I have some great men in my life and what encourages me the most, even when they are doing things I find "wrong", is that Jesus is their number one. For me the fact that I can see Jesus in them blurs all their so called inadequacies and gives me peace to know that good men still exist.

    Coming from a society in which sex has been placed high and all, it's refreshing and heart warming to know that there are still a few that can stand and be counted. I am not perfect, so to demand perfection from a flawed man is recipe for disaster. But God is great, for he will teach us and mould us to be perfect for each other.
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ Ally Elisha
    on Monday, November 26, 2012 at 2:07 pm
    Christina gave you some excellent advice above. I was also going to refer you to the verse in 2 Cor. 6:14 where we are told not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Just as there can be unbelievers in a Baptist church, there certainly can be believers in the Catholic church. The main difference with those who follow the catholic faith is that it is a works based faith—a belief that they can do things to gain God’s favor. They may believe that Jesus died on the cross for their sins, but they also have to do other things to make sure that God saves them.

    I would advise you to be very cautious in this relationship. Certainly keep praying for this young man. That is such a smart thing to do and such a great way to bless him. But give this time and observe whether follows through with what he is saying now. If there is any way he would consent to being in a mentoring relationship with your dad or your youth pastor or another godly man it would be a great way to get him to a place where he can truly grow. After meeting with them, these men can give you very wise advice about whether his heart is in the right place or if he is just going through the motions.
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ Jenna
    on Monday, November 26, 2012 at 2:14 pm
    Yes, Jenna, there are godly Christian guys out there. I encourage you to keep praying for the guys in your life and to look for the positives that you desire in a guy. Take a look at this blog by Jeremiah Canfield for some guidelines of what to watch for.

    What Kind of a Guy Should You Date? http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=1848

    We are all a work in progress. We have to remember that guys will not be perfect, but they can have a heart that desires to please God in all areas of their lives.
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ Jazzy 101
    on Monday, November 26, 2012 at 2:48 pm
    I’m praying for you today, friend, and asking God to give you wisdom and the grace to keep moving forward in your life. God uses different means and different people to bring us out of the bondage we are in. Unforgiveness certainly does put us in bondage. I encourage you to not give up hope in the healing process that God has you in. You can trust His heart and His love for you, my friend! I encourage you to go back to the verses we have shared with you and continue to saturate your heart and mind with them. God loves you, my friend! He has the ability to bring beauty out of the tragedy you experienced as a child as you continue to trust Him with your future.
    Sara
    re:
    on Wednesday, November 28, 2012 at 9:23 pm
    There are a lot of guys that I know that aren't following Christ, but I also know so many godly, young men that have stepped up in leading and teaching God's Word and being true gentleman. Of course, they're not perfect, but they are striving to please God. My two older brothers are also wonderful young men. One is currently supporting my mom and I (my parents divorced when I was a baby and my dad isn't a Christian) and the other one is married, with a 7 month old baby girl, and it is such a joy to watch him as a father (and caring husband). Some of my best friends are guys, and they treat me like a sister and I know that they will follow God's leading, even when it is hard.
    When I used to wonder, "God, where are all the good guys (and good girls)?", I was always reminded of 1 Kings 19:18. There are guys out there that are serving God, you just have to look for them. :)
    Bri KB
    Great Men!
    on Monday, December 10, 2012 at 1:04 pm
    I want to start out by saying I grew up with one of the biggest jerks in the world as my father. He was emotionally and occasionally physically abusive. I still struggle with some of my thought patterns because of that. Feeling like my life is difficult because I'm not doing good enough and if I would do better I wouldn't have problems with other people. Feeling like a failure because I could never do enough to please him, feeling caught in the middle because I saw how wrong he was, but he talked bad about and to my mom in front of me. But God has been really gracious to me. I have at least three men who are like substitute fathers to me. I know I could go to any of them and ask them anything. And I have several young men that god has brought into my life that also remind me that not every guy is like my dad. I'm so thankful God has given me these men that treat me like a young lady should be treated and who take care of me like their own daughter or sister.
    Christine A.
    No guy is perfect
    on Saturday, December 15, 2012 at 3:28 pm
    I will admit that I still have a little bit of hostility towards men but that doesn't mean that all men are the same. I'm still in junior high so the guys I know aren't quite mature yet but some guys are actually really nice to me and I believe that God opened my heart and mind to them.
    Franko
    Re:
    on Wednesday, January 30, 2013 at 3:51 pm
    you women have the nerve to say that where have all the good guys gone?, well for you information there are many of us good straight guys that are out there, that are looking for a good decent straight woman now. but with so many of you women that have a very bad serious attitude problem today, that certainly makes it very hard for us to meet a good one.
    Anna
    http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=1906
    on Saturday, February 23, 2013 at 4:03 am
    The Feminatzis killed all the Good men !!
    Its the 21 century and women are still refusing to ask a guy out ??!! Why ladies ? Why ? I did ,and now we are married with a child. Women have all the power here in the West" , right so ....
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    @Franko
    on Sunday, April 7, 2013 at 7:17 pm
    Your posts have been removed as this forum is intended for young women.

    Lies Young Women Believe Team

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