Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire

Paula Hendricks 11/29/12 | Twitter: @PaulaWrites678
Category: Myself ; 56 comments

I'm pretty sure I just caught my friend in a lie. liar

It makes me sad that she felt she couldn't tell me the truth about something so insignificant. But I understand. I do. I've spoken more than my fair share of lies in my twenty-nine years.

So let's talk about lying:

  1. What motivates you not to lie?
  2. When you do lie . . . why?

I look forward to reading your responses. Then, this Monday, check back for more from me on why lying is such a big deal . . . and how to stop.

Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

    Megan
    Liar liar! :/
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 2:12 am
    What motivates you NOT to lie? Lies hurt, and when they unravel, there's just more damage than there would have been had you just told the truth. And also gaining trust is hard and once you lie it corrupts everything that you had built. People see you differently and once you lie people will question whether you're telling the truth or not.

    When do you lie?
    I lie very often. They're small, inconsequential, but I'm only kidding myself! Every lie is a lie. It isn't the truth. I lie to make myself feel better, my friends feel better, and at my lowest point I lie to make people feel worse.
    Lydia D.
    Lies
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 9:35 am
    What motivates me not to lie?
    Personal experience. I've had people lie to me about significant things. We both end up hurt and my relationship with that person is damaged.

    When do I lie?
    When I think it will be "easier" and cause less problems than the truth.
    Kaylee S. Smith
    My Answers...
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 10:17 am
    1. What motivates me not to lie?
    - because I know that it is wrong and it damages my conscience. I so want to live with a clean conscience...but sadly...I haven't felt that for..years...

    2. When I do lie...why?
    - I lie to cover up my huge mistakes that I don't want my parents to know about. I lie a small little lie (but none the less, it's a lie) to make my new friends (I just moved) think I'm cooler than I am...oh gosh, this is hard for me...but here it goes: I lie to my parents about school. They think I did school this whole week so far...well, the truth is, I haven't touched the books once. I've been skipping classes...being homeschooled, yeah, it's easier than in 'real school', but I'm WAY behind because of it and I can't seem to focus on my school thus I lie to cover that up. I so want to live with a clear mind and conscience...but...I can't seem to stop. :'(

    Help me. Please.

    ~ Kaylee S. Smith
    Kaylee S. Smith
    I Also Meant To Add...
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 10:19 am
    I also meant to add that I am so ashamed of what I've done, that I can't tell my parents or I'll be grounded...forever it seems. OH, I've dug myself so deep...TOO deep.

    Any suggestions? At all? I'll glady take ANYTHING! Thanks...
    Hannah
    Lies
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 10:20 am
    What motivates me not to lie?
    Personal experience as well as not wanting to break the person's/people's trust.

    When do I lie?
    I lie when I am fearful of what the person or people will think of me if they really know the truth.

    Have a great weekend everyone!
    Hannah
    Elaina
    Re:
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 10:30 am
    Hm. Honestly, ( because it would be ironic to lie when responding to a post about lying :) ) the potential guilt and the condemnation from having commited a sin is MY stop lever. Its also knowing that even though God will forgive me, i will also have to apologize to the person that I lied, and thereby, totally ashame and discredit myself. So i guess its the fear of commiting a sin AND of the consequences.
    K
    Kaylee S. Smith
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 10:37 am
    Hi Kaylee, I just want to encourage you to tell your parents. You may feel like you've dug yourself in too deep, but, telling them will be the first step of getting yourself back out again. I am praying that GOD will give you guidance to do what is right.
    Remember, GOD loves you, and he knows that honoring your parents will keep you out of trouble.
    marie sumo
    LYING
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 12:08 pm
    Thing that motivate me not to lie is Proverbs 6: 16-19 ,it reads; there are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue,hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community. If i love God i wouldn't lie since he mention it twice in this section, and everywhere else in the Bible. I lied sometimes because i am not thinking about this verse or trying to please the person im lying to
    Genevieve
    @ Kaylee
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 12:34 pm
    Kaylee,
    As soon as I read your comment, I felt your despair!! I am homeschooled too, and I have totally done what you are in the midst of right now. Even just thinking about it again makes my stomach lurch...I KNOW how horrible it is. But guess what? I got it right, and I am SO thankful that I did.

    I know that you probably know this already, and K mentioned this too...but you've got to tell your parents. If you think about it, they will most likely be at least a little easier on you if you tell them, than if they find out themselves. Even so, it's not going to be pleasant...I understand. The stuff that seems so huge and life-ending right now...it will get better, I promise. I got sooo busted this past summer, and it felt like my life was OVER. But you know what? Now, it's almost like a distant memory...and my relationship with my parents is so much better than when I knew that I was hiding something from them. When we aren't right with God, he can't use us...and since we aren't right with Him, we aren't becoming closer to Him. It's kind of a lose-lose situation. :)

    If you have a lot of schoolwork that you feel like isn't working for you, maybe you should talk to your parents about changing curriculum; or doing something to make school more interesting so that you will enjoy it more. Just a thought. :D

    I really encourage you to tell your parents...and I'd love to keep in touch with you!! I'll check back at this post if you'd like to talk about it. I'm praying for you!! Have courage, Kaylee...the truth is ALWAYS worth it!!!

    Love,
    Genna
    Christina
    Lies From my Lips
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 12:35 pm
    Normally i tell the truth, but everyone does get caught up in a lie every now and then. It's bad, Satan is the father of all lies. lying is sin, and we must catch our tongue before speaking. What motivates me not to lie? I like telling the truth and i don't want to be known as a liar, and i know it's right to be honest. I can't remember the last time i lied, so i can't give a reason to why i lie. I used to lie, exagerate to get people to like me, but i don't do that anymore. I haven't done that for quite a few years. People have reasons of lying to get others to like them, to please everyone else, so they don't seem "uncool." None of these are good excuses, but they are reasons for some people.
    Elaine
    Re
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 12:37 pm
    What motivates me not to lie?
    Because I know I'll feel guilty I guess. But sometimes I don't feel so guilty because I think it's sometimes okay to lie or be deceitful. Like when I was moving my Aunt and she had TONS of junk, just actual trash that we threw away and we were telling her we wouldn't throw away anything without asking her.
    When do I lie and why?
    For multiple reasons. One is, I think the person would think I was weird when I told the truth. Or I'm really not thinking through the question they just asked and so I give them a classic anser like "How are you?" "I'm good," and I really have a splitting headache. Now in this question when I am asked at the grocery store I think it's just fine to say "I'm good," even if I do have a splitting headache, because they really don't care, they're just saying it out of habit.
    Christina
    Re: Kaylee
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 12:39 pm
    Know that you are not the only one to lie, everybody lies. One, pray about it. Two, talk to some people that you really trust at your church to pray for you as well. If you don't want to tell them what you are doing, then ask them to pray for you and don't tell them what it is, just tell them you are struggling. Three, tell your parents. I know this may be hard, but it's the right thing to do. Talk about solutions. Either have someone that will keep track and make sure you do your work, or you need to be put in private school or public school. Someway you need to find a way that you will be given structure, talk to your parents.

    I'm praying for you!
    Christina
    Re:Re: Kaylee
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 12:42 pm
    Know that God gives you the strength to do what is right. "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Philippians 4:13. It might seem hard to tell your parents the truth or if you do tell them the truth then situations might be hard, but remember that God is always there, He takes the weight off your shoulders if you give it to Him. He's rock, He will lift you up! And never think you've dug yourself too deep, nothing is too big for God to handle!
    Elaine
    @ Kaylee
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 12:46 pm
    I understand that whole thing about school. I'm homeschooled too and our family has been going through really tough times so it's been hard for me to just sit down and do school. I'm just not in the mood for it. I'm behind too. I have found in this area that prayer works. At first it felt like I needed a thing to pick me up and set me at the table with my school in front and me and gage my mind until I got it done. But prayer is really powerful and every time I was tempted to walk away and do something else I've been praying, and that reminds me of how much God would be hurt if I did not do what I was suppose to be doing. Self-Control is one of the fruits of the Spirit I really need to work on. Don't let Satan get into your thinking and convince you that this doesn't matter, which is what happens to me sometimes.
    Hope this helps!
    T
    Lies
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 2:01 pm
    I lie most often when I don't want someone mad at me and when I'm embarrassed (this is often one of those "inconsequential" lies; it's over something that doesn't really matter but I feel stupid admitting it) or ashamed. I also tend to exaggerate or leave out bits of the truth to make myself seem like someone I'm not. I lie to hide parts of me that I don't want the world to see. I lie to avoid trouble or conflict.

    I hate the feeling that lying gives me. I hate thinking that my pride is more important to me than truth. I hate not being able to be myself. But honestly, most of the time, that isn't enough to keep me from lying.

    I'm really excited to see what you have to say about this. By writing this out, I've realized that I have a bigger problem than I knew.
    Brittany
    Re:
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 2:05 pm
    What motivates me not to lie? What goes around comes back around. And your sin will follow you down. Also, I wouldn't want someone to lie to me. I have told lies before and have felt guilty for doing so.
    Elisa J.
    uggh...
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 2:58 pm
    When i don't lie it's because I fear God.

    I lie when I don't want my mom to know what i'm doing or what i'm buying. the things i buy arent' bad but it's stuff i'm pretty sure i would not be allowed to buy. And I don't know how many times i've said "i'm fine" when I feel like my life is falling apart...
    Kaylee S. Smith
    @ Everyone Who Responded To Me...
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 3:16 pm
    Thank you so much for all your advise/help. I will pray for the courage to tell my parents and then for a...well, supernatural way/plan to get all my work done!

    @ Elaine - Thank you so much!! You helped greatly and I will be praying for you, too. Girl, we can get through this with Christ's help!! :) Again...thank you! You really blessed me!

    @ Genevieve (a.k.a. Genna) - Aw, thanks so much for your responding post...I really felt the care <3 And it's cool that a lot of y'all that responded are homeschooled, too! But I have one question for you, Genna, (and really, everyone else who said to tell my parents). It's more of a statement than a question...but whatever grammatical term, here it is: I feel like I have let down my parents so many times. I feel if I tell them one more thing wrong that I'm doing, that they are gonna really be mad and even MORE disappointed in me. They are struggling to pay rent this month, none the less have FOOD on the table, and I don't want to add to their stress load. Anyway, my question is: If I get my life back on track in this next month (it's a process...) then would I still have to tell them?...I don't want to sound...tricky...or whatever. I'm not trying to get out of punishment. That SO isn't the case. But it's that I don't want to add to the stress they have...

    Thanks for all the help y'all have given me...

    ~ Kaylee S. Smith
    Sophie
    @ "T" and Kaylee
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 3:30 pm
    Hey there, "T",

    I know how you feel. I've been there...more times than I would like to admit! But when I was in that spot, I prayed to God and I was led to a verse in the Bible. I hope it encourages you and helps you see that truth is a beautiful thing.

    "The one who desires life, to love and see good days, Must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. He must turn away from evil and do good; He must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous, And His ears attend to their prayer, But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” ~ 1 Peter 3:10-12

    and

    "Deliver my soul, O Lord, from lying lips, From a deceitful tongue." ~ Psalms 120:2

    and one more :)

    "...the truth will set you free.” ~ John 8:32b

    I hope this helps!!

    @ Kaylee - those verses might help you, too!! <3

    Love,

    Sophie
    GG
    Re: Kaylee
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 4:03 pm
    Hey Kaylee,

    I'm a homeschooled girl as well, and let me first of all say that I struggle/have struggled with the same thing way too many times. Life just gets so busy, and I tend to push school out of the way to make room for other things.

    So, my personal suggestions? Owning up to parents is...hard. But, as so many others have said, it is so important. I haven't had to deal with this step very often with my parents, I'll admit, because they tend to trust that I'll make it out on top of my work again (and if not, there's always summer, right? ;)).

    I know what helps with me when my parents get concerned about the amount of schoolwork I'm getting done is showing them yes, I realize the problem, and yes, I want to try and fix it. Obviously all homeschoolers work differently, but writing out a schedule (and sticking to it) is a good idea. Show your parents that you're motivated to try and get back on top of things, and I think they'll understand better. For this reason, I'd recommend telling them sooner rather than later. Tell them you're struggling, but also let them know that you've realized that and are trying to work on getting back on schedule. Personally, as much as I love independence and hate to take advice from other people (bad traits, I know!) I need my parents' love and support. And I also need the accountability of having others remind me to stay focused on my work.

    To try and trace back to what I started off saying, as hard as it is, I definitely recommend not waiting about going to your parents about this. Let them know you're committed to getting back on track, and you're trying hard to do that. Also, pray about it. Pray that God will help your parents understand, and that the discussion will go well and you'll be able to focus on schoolwork in the coming month(s). If you're anything like me, I suggest also praying for courage in actually bringing this up with your parents (admitting I'm wrong is...horribly difficult, and not something I'm good at).

    Praying for you, and hoping all goes well and that some of my haphazard post made sense. :)

    -GG
    Kathryn
    @ Kaylee
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 4:34 pm
    I totally understand that. I'm homeschooled too and about 2 weeks ago I wasn't keeping up in my school and i wasn't motivated at all. You should definitely talk to your parents about it. You may get in trouble, but it will be less than if you keep hiding it from you parents for weeks. For me, I talked about it with them, so now they are checking up on me at the end of the day and making sure i have done all my assignments. I don't know if this helped you, but i'll be praying for you.
    God bless!
    Aynonymous 18
    Re:
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 5:40 pm
    I like the verse in Proverbs about lying lips being an abomination to God. If God uses the word abomination to describe lying I don't really want to be part of it. Trust is something important to me and a lying person can't be trusted. I want people to be able to trust me. I don't have a good reason to lie but it can be temping not to tell the whole story or give all the details of a situation. Another thing that helps is my parents always punished me for any lie I told. It wasn't nice then but I am glad They didn't allow me to get away with it. God will help mus overcome our weaknesses if ask Him to.
    twinklybear
    A LIE IS A LIE IS A LIE IS A LIE
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 5:45 pm
    What motivates me not to lie: the immediate/ direct consequences of lying. Then I realize that whenever you lie, you have to think of lies, to cover the lies, to cover the lies again. ahhh.

    When I do lie: I don't want to look bad, that is why. I lie to cover up for people. So I fit in with them...I lie so I don't get into trouble. I guess I lie because I'm selfish. Becuase it's all about me...which it really isn't. It never dawned on me until now...
    Georgia
    Re:
    on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 9:24 pm
    gosh, i lie all the time, its ridiculous, theyre usually just small lies and i don't even think about it. i do it to make myself look like someone im not, so that i can "keep up appearances" and keep up the face i pretend to be and stay in the same social norm. i never really face any consequences of lying yet but things like this alway catch up :/
    josephina
    Why do I lie?
    on Friday, November 30, 2012 at 1:51 am
    I lie because I don't want someone to think the slightest negatively towards me. It's silly really. I don't lie nearly as much as I used to because now I am Christian and I at least pray to God every day when I wake up and go to sleep and I know that God doesn't hear you when you haven't repented of your sins. It's so hard to remember that in my honesty God is glorified and when I lie God is also glorified if I apologize for the lie. It's selfish of me to care only about how the person will react to my apology for lying. God is truly glorified when we apologize to someone for lying to them. It is worth being right with God and having a clear conscience even if I have to embarrass myself to get back to a clear conscience with God. Apologizing for lying doesn't always make someone trust you less but more in my opinion. I would trust someone more if they apologized for lying to me than if I went along never having a clue that they lied in the first place. Lying is something I have been struggling with since becoming a Christian and I need to accept any cause and effects from telling the truth because truth is good. Very beneficial subject. Look forward to the follow-up. Thanks much.
    Josephina
    Wow I did it! I just apologized for lying!
    on Friday, November 30, 2012 at 2:08 am
    I just apologized for lying to my mom about something low-down and it feels great to get it off my chest. It was mega embarrassing but now I can have a relationship with God and know he hears me when I go to Him in prayer! Yay! What a wonderful feeling! Undoing this lie will make me think a lot more before the next time I lie that's for sure!
    Elaine
    @Kaylee
    on Friday, November 30, 2012 at 8:08 am
    I'm sooo glad that helped you!
    I get what you're saying about not wanting to burden your parents any more. I've felt like that too before. I maybe they would still want to know though, and you should still tell them. Tell them that you want to change and you'd like them to pray for you. At least, I think I would like to know that about my daughter even if I was dealing with a lot of stuff.
    AJ
    digging deeper
    on Friday, November 30, 2012 at 8:33 am
    It is hard to always tell the truth... but if we all knew the outcome after we told the lie... and truth actually came out, i'm sure none of us would lie. We know that one lie leads to another lie and pretty soon we have told so many lies that it hard to keep track, if at all! I know that a lie is just a way to get out of a hole but the truth is when we tell the lie we are just digging the whole deeper and deeper... we are not going anywhere but down into the hole when the lie was told to get us up out of the whole! I know we tell lies so nobody will think we are weird or so they won't know that we are doing something are somewhere that we shouldn't be. But you think about it...there are so many people in the bible who lied and it didn't get them up they just dug the hole deeper. Truth is an important key to a good relationship with God and with others. And that is a very important thing to remember.
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    @KayleeS...
    on Friday, November 30, 2012 at 9:35 am
    Kaylee...take the punishment--even if grounded for life!! Bringing your sin into the open and confessing it will help you go the next step--repenting, turning from your sin. It's God's way. He says "confess your sins one to another". Do it--it will bring the peace and joy that Josephina has found above!! That's what you really care about! When your parents see you humbly confess and then accept the punishment with grace, the Lord will be glorified before them! "Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify the Father in Heaven"! You can't beat that!

    God will help you as you follow His ways. Let us know if/when you confess to your parents and get the work done. :-) I have no doubt you will do what's right; your heart is tender to the Lord and His ways. I am proud of you!!
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    @Josephina...
    on Friday, November 30, 2012 at 9:38 am
    We are so, so, so proud of you!! God kept His Word! He tells us that confessing and repenting of sin brings us peace and freedom, thus joy!! You are a precious example of that! Thank you for sharing it with us!! Blessings on your day! (I've thanked the Lord for you and your example of obedience! )
    Genevieve
    @ Kaylee
    on Friday, November 30, 2012 at 10:08 am
    Hi! :) Okay, so again...I totally understand the way you are thinking here. My parents were in pretty much the exact same situation that yours are (struggling to pay bills, buy groceries etc.). I tried to convince myself that if I got my life on track I wouldn't have to tell them...but here's the deal.

    God knows everything that we do, right? He sees us everywhere, so He is completely aware of what you've been doing. Is it okay with you that your parents won't know about your school, but that God already knows? It's making him really sad; but he's not going to turn into a human, confront you, and MAKE you tell your parents what you've done. However, He'd be really, really happy if you chose to do that...and he WILL bless you.

    I know you feel like by telling your parents about this you're "bothering" them, or adding to their stress; and trust me, if there's anyone that understands, I do. It was my 16th birthday, and I was SO depressed because my party had been quite a disappointment (our family was really struggling financially). I totally broke down in front of my parents because I was taking all of the stress and worry about money onto myself, instead of leaving it with the Lord...and my parents. You know what they said?

    You should have told us!!

    I know that I wasn't confessing something in that instance, but your parents WANT you to tell them. You can be the one to confess, say that you know this is a stressful time, maybe even propose your punishment, and promise to get your life back on track. In the end, (maybe in a couple years when high school is over) you will be SO GLAD that you did it. I PROMISE.

    I love you, Kaylee...and I'm praying that you'll do the right thing.

    Keep in touch!

    Love,
    Genna
    Kaylee S. Smith
    I Will Tell Them Right Now!
    on Friday, November 30, 2012 at 3:05 pm
    I am gonna take y'all advise to heart and tell my parents. I'm going to tell my ma right now, about all that's going on. And if I don't come back on here anytime soon to say how it went...well, that might mean I'm grounded from the computer!! But I WILL post a comment sometime to tell y'all how it went. Whether it's earlier or later in the month, I'm not sure. But I know my parents are fair people. So, that helps ease my fear of telling them some!

    Again, thank you so much!! I especially want to thank Ms. Sarah (from the LYWB team) and Genna!

    Everyone of y'all are a blessing to me! Thank you for pointing me in the right direction - I am truly thankful <3

    Ok....I'm going to go tell my mom now...I have butterflies in my stomach...but no matter what, I'm gonna go through with this.

    Love,

    ~ Kaylee S. Smith
    Eva
    Lies???
    on Friday, November 30, 2012 at 3:45 pm
    Why I don't lie: Lies can be very dangerous. I know that I would feel pretty awful if I did, and I'd feel even worse if I got caught!

    Why I lie: I like to think that I don't lie that much, but I am not the judge of that. I don't think I lie about huge things, but they're equally bad, big or small. The times I find that I really lie is when I'm trying to make someone feel better about themselves and when I am in major trouble.
    Kathryn Hamilton
    freakish, God-thing timing... :/
    on Friday, November 30, 2012 at 6:58 pm
    wow... I haven't read all the comments to this one (I'm going to save this page and read it later, due to no internet at home) but wow if you only knew how God gave THIS one to me... right after I'd blundered through a few half-truths (AKA whole lies) to my dad! :( Eek.
    I lie b/c I'm afraid of the consequences or responses to my actions or desires. And i HATE IT... I apologize a LOT for this type of thing. :( Cant wait to read 2nd half!)
    anonymous
    lies
    on Friday, November 30, 2012 at 7:11 pm
    What motivates me not to lie is the fact that there's no point in it since I can't remember a time when I lied and I didn't get caught, didn't get into trouble, I didn't sever someone's trust, and I didn't hurt anyone. I try to avoid THOSE kinds of lies.
    When I lie, I'm sugarcoating something because I never want to hurt anyone, or make things difficult for others. For example, if someone asks me if I think they sing well, and they don't, I say that they don't have a bad voice (but I never said it was good either.) My worst offenses, however, are when people ask me how I;m doing. Even on bad days, I say I;m doing well when I'm really not. Sugarcoating is an area I need to improve in.
    Antonia
    Re:
    on Friday, November 30, 2012 at 7:43 pm
    I lie because I am insecure, and the person I lie most to is myself. I lie (and deny) my sins because I am too ashamed to admit them before such a beautiful God, and even try to lie to myself that God isn't as awesome as he is in an attempt to make my sin shrink and feel less guilty. It never works.

    Hiding in my own lies, about my sin, my relationship with God, and God himself, put me in a very bad place until today. That, combined with a death in the family and the terror of an interview at one of the UK's top universities. Lying to myself at such a crucial time meant that God was pushed straight out of my line of focus, and I thank him that he has slowly been rescuing me.


    On another note, I tend to lie to others about my achievements (perhaps by over-exaggerating success and downplaying failure), again to feel secure. The only thing that motivates me not to lie is the thought of God's reaction when I try to deceive him, and how stupid I am. Often, though, that thought comes far too late, and I am stuck in the web.
    Genna
    @ Kaylee
    on Saturday, December 1, 2012 at 12:47 am
    I got grounded from the computer too, Kaylee, so I understand. :) If you do see this anytime soon, I am SO proud of you...and you will be so glad that you've done this.

    I love you!!!

    Love in Christ,
    Genna
    Teen4Purity
    @ Elisa J
    on Saturday, December 1, 2012 at 4:07 pm
    Sweet girl,
    You don't even know how many times I've felt like my life was falling apart....and for some very simple, insignificant things too! I have the most wonderful parents in the world, and yet I fear their consequences too, so there have been times when I don't tell them what I did. It's deceitful, and it's taking advantage of the trust they have in me. That makes me sick to my stomach, after ALL that Christ did, after ALL the precious blood He shed and after ALL the mercy He showed me, I would do that?

    Please consider how this not only affects you and your parents, but your Lord. He watches and knows all things, that scares the bigeebies(spelling?) out of me when I feel like I want to lie!!

    I'll share this: I used to buy music on iTunes without asking my Mom. It was either Classical or Christian music, but still, I didn't. That was wrong of me because she explicitly asked me to ask her before I did. You said you sometimes buy things without their permission...I would say, just ask them! If you know they wouldn't want you to have those things, then you'll have to forgo them! We should want to obey our parents, and that's because we pledged our life to Christ and as part of our "contract", we MUST obey!!

    I will pray earnestly for your heart, and please reply if you want more help. This website is a fantastic place for encouragement, and I hope I challenged you for YOUR benefit, ok girl?! :)
    Abigail
    Lies
    on Saturday, December 1, 2012 at 5:03 pm
    My motivation not to lie is God. I sometimes lie because I feel like it will protect me or others.
    Em
    OFF TOPIC
    on Saturday, December 1, 2012 at 5:46 pm
    Hi, this is really off topic, but I really need some advice.
    I have been seeing the school counsellor lately... the details aren't important, and her and a teacher promised me that they hadn't and weren't going to tell my parents. I found out that they did and didn't tell me, and felt so betrayed. It took me so long to trust her again.
    I was checking the family emails this morning and found out that my parents have been emailing the counsellor. I understand that they care about me, but it is my problem, not there's, and they are acting as if it is theirs'. I also read an email that was from my parents to the counsellor, and it said that they had found a note in my room, and this and that in my room, and typed them all out to her. Those notes were all hidden, and they havr been snooping around in my room! I am really upset right now and don't know how to go about the situation. I feel like I have lost everyone's trust again. That is exactly why I didn't want my parents to know. The notes werem't important either, but the teacher told me it would be good to write in a journal, but they have been reading it!

    Please pray for me. Thanks
    a person
    Well...
    on Sunday, December 2, 2012 at 1:11 am
    What motivates me NOT to lie?

    God.

    You know, the whole "don't lie" thing. God doesn't want me to lie. Why would I flat out disobey Him in something like that? Sometimes it's tempting to lie. But then sometimes, it's because people ask personal questions they shouldn't be asking. It's not lieing to say "that's none of your busness" [if it's personal], or being veuge about it. Like, if someone asks you something with a big drawn out answer, you can just say part of the reason. You don't have to tell them the whole thing [unless their your parents, God, or a doctor or something obviously].

    But in other things, things I should tell the truth on and have no reason to lie about [not that there's ever a reason-- except maybe when your trying to hide a surpise gift or something from somebody "did the mail come yet?" "Nope, not yet" [goes and hides box] lol but yeah, in those times, like normal questions, just tell the truth. You'd want others to be truthful to you. You don't ask questions to others to hear lies. People don't ask you things to hear made-up lies either.

    Is that kind of lieing bad though, hiding presents and stuff for people? It is a form of disception...

    Anyway. When I do lie, it's usualy to hide something I don't want people to know. Like a crush or an emberessing habbit I think will cause people to look differently at me because of. Is it wrong to lie then? You know, when someone says "do you like anybody?" or "do you like so-and-so?", it's it wrong to say "no-way!" just cause you don't want them to know. If we say "that's personal", then it's like saying "yes". People always think yes if you don't want to tell them.

    The best advice I've heard was from Rebecca St. James:

    "Where there are no secrets, there are no lies."

    If you don't want people to know about it...DON'T DO IT. Problem solved. Maybe you don't want anyone to know because it's wrong. If it's just an emberessment thing but it's not a sin, then maybe you're too concerned about what people think about you.
    God's girl
    Re: Em
    on Sunday, December 2, 2012 at 1:25 am
    I know it hurts to feel betrayed. It feels awful. You want people to trust you, and you REALLY want to trust them. First off, it was prob not so smooth of your conselor to say she'd keep it secret and then tell your parents behind your back. That wasn't honest on her part. Especially because it's already to hard to confide in people. It's a lot easier to listen than it is to tell.

    But I don't know the situation. Is it possible that maybe the issues you're dealing with right now are maybe too big for your consolor to just handle with you alone? Maybe she felt it was too big and that your parents really needed to be told. Like when a friend says "promise not to tell, or I won't tell you" so you promise. But then you hear they have like an eating diorder or a relationship with a creep and you really need to tell someone because obviously your friend's safety is more important than that promise, because the promise no longer benifits that friend.

    I don't know all the details. But if you're going through something big, then maybe you should go directly to your parents and tell them what's going on, and that you know they know, and you'd rather speak directly to them than have them scheme behind your back with your consolor. Pray too. Don't be offended that they're invading your space. They're obviously are worried about you.

    Tell them you wish they'd have been honest with you.

    Sometimes people get in our busness because we can't handel the busness ourselves anymore. Like, I know I dunno what's going on with you, you said the details weren't important, and that's fine, you don't have to say them here, BUT if we knew what they were, it'd be easier to judge the situation.

    If what you're going through is sinnful, or a danger to your health/safety, you should tell your parents. If they don't help you, then try someone besides your school consolor. Try an older women at church or something [if you can]. If you do, mention you've had others betray your trust before, and so trust is very important to you.

    Anyway, I dunno if my advice will help at all.

    Pray a lot about it, and read God's word and ask Him to show you what to do in this. The Bible says that when we draw near to God, He'll draw near to us. So seek Him and His will in this, and then walk in it! That's the best advice I can give. Pray pray pray and read read read in His word. Hope everything turns out okay. I'll pray for you.
    God's girl
    RE: Kaylee S. Smith
    on Sunday, December 2, 2012 at 1:37 am
    I know how you feel!

    When I was younger, I'd skip tons of probelms in my math homework to save time. Everyone thought I was doing really well because I'd get finished so fast. But then I was found out.... my mom was looking through my work asking where unwritten problems were. I broke down and cried. I was so afraid. I thought I was going to die. But I didn't. Yeah she was mad-- but I deserved mad.

    No matter what it is, truth or lie... it will be found out.

    Everything will come to light and be 'known' at some point. It's no use hiding it, we're just digging ourselves into a deeper hole. A lot of times we get away with things because people trust us and don't scope us out. We don't want them to NOT trust us so we lie to cover up our sin.

    Been there. Done that.

    I'm so glad to hear you're telling your parents! No matter how hard-- THAT WILL BRING FREEDOME! The "truth" will set you free. You know, Jesus called Himself "the Truth"? If He's truth, and satan is the father of liars, then it makes it pretty clear which one we should choose to do-- no matter what. Choose truth!

    Jesus never said it would be easy. He just said it would be worth it.

    Prayin' for you!
    God's girl
    Songs for those who try and impress people
    on Sunday, December 2, 2012 at 1:44 am
    If you tell 'little' [aka, Big] lies about yourself to be more popular, listen to these songs:

    Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns

    Is there anyone that fails
    Is there anyone that falls
    Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

    Cause when I take a look around
    Everybody seems so strong
    I know they’ll soon discover
    That I don’t belong

    So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay
    If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
    So with a painted grin, I play the heart again
    So everyone will see me the way that I see them

    Are we happy plastic people
    Under shiny plastic steeples
    With walls around our weakness
    And smiles to hide our pain
    But if the invitation’s open
    To every heart that has been broken
    Maybe then we close the curtain
    On our stained glass masquerade

    Is there anyone who’s been there
    Are there any hands to raise
    Am I the only one who’s traded
    In the altar for a stage

    The performance is convincing
    And we know every line by heart
    Only when no one is watching
    Can we really fall apart

    But would it set me free
    If I dared to let you see
    The truth behind the person
    That you imagine me to be

    Would your arms be open
    Or would you walk away
    Would the love of Jesus
    Be enough to make you stay

    Behind the Song:
    “I don’t think it bothers the world that we sin. I think it bothers the world that we act like we don’t. There are times that instead of being myself and exposing my own weakness and hurt, I portray a character of the person that I know I should be. But when I expose myself as weak and frail at times, it frees the Body of Christ to restore me as it should and invites others to unmask as well.” - Mark Hall (Casting Crowns)



    The Real Me by Natalie Grant



    Foolish heart looks like we're here again
    Same old game of plastic smile
    Don't let anybody in
    Hiding my heartache, will this glass house break
    How much will they take before I'm empty
    Do I let it show, does anybody know?

    But you see the real me
    Hiding in my skin, broken from within
    Unveil me completely
    I'm loosening my grasp
    There's no need to mask my frailty
    Cause you see the real me

    Painted on, life is behind a mask
    Self-inflicted circus clown
    I'm tired of the song and dance
    Living a Charade, always on parade
    What a mess I've made of my existence
    But you love me even now
    And still I see somehow

    But you see the real me
    Hiding in my skin, broken from within
    Unveil me completely
    I'm loosening my grasp
    There's no need to mask my frailty
    Cause you see the real me

    Wonderful, beautiful is what you see
    When you look at me
    You're turning the tattered fabric of my life into
    A perfect tapestry
    I just wanna be me

    But you see the real me
    Hiding in my skin, broken from within
    Unveil me completely
    I'm loosening my grasp
    There's no need to mask my frailty
    Cause you see the real me

    And you love me just as I am

    Wonderful, Beautiful is what you see
    When you look at me



    Perfect People by Natalie Grant



    Never let 'em see you when you're breaking
    Never let 'em see you when you fall
    That's how we live and that's how we try
    Tell the world you've got it all together
    Never let them see what's underneath
    Cover it up with a crooked smile
    But it only lasts for a little while

    CHORUS:
    There's no such thing as perfect people
    There's no such thing as a perfect life
    So come as you are, broken and scared
    Lift up your heart and be amazed
    And be changed by a perfect God

    Suddenly it's like a weight is lifted
    When you hear the words that you are loved
    He knows where you are and where you've been
    And you never have to go there again

    CHORUS

    Who lived and died to give new life
    To heal our imperfections
    So look up and see out let grace be enough

    CHORUS

    By a perfect God (5x)

    Be changed by a perfect God
    Be changed


    (Natalie Grant)

    Behind the Song:
    "Often we are so interested in the lives of the rich and famous, their airbrushed perfection staring back at us from virtually every magazine cover. But the truth is, there’s no such thing as perfect people. No matter how hard we try to look a certain way or strive for success, we will only ever find contentment in a relationship with our perfect God. And we can come just as we are with our dirt, shame and mess, and He makes something beautiful out of it." - Natalie Grant
    Renée
    Re:
    on Sunday, December 2, 2012 at 6:16 pm
    1. What motivates me not to lie?
    Because i know its wrong and i will feel really guilty and will probably be caught.

    2. When you do lie . . . why?
    Because i want to cover up something bad i did or i don't want my parents or other people to know something i did. I really don't want people to have bad thoughts about me.
    Kayla Ellis
    My answers and @ Kaylee
    on Monday, December 3, 2012 at 1:03 am
    1. What motivates me not to lie?
    Because not only do i know it's wrong but i know Christ doesn't want me to lie.

    2. When do you lie and why?
    It's not often that i lie anymore but i lie when i feel like it will solve my problems. but it never does

    hey Kaylee, I know what your going through. Since i was little ive moved from place to place about 10 times due to financial situations and now we're living with my brother temporarily. I hope you told your parents. God will truly bless you for that and trust me as unbearable as the consequences are, you'll be thankful it's off your chest.
    Kaylee S. Smith
    How It Went...
    on Monday, December 3, 2012 at 10:21 am
    Hey y'all!!

    I told my parents and they actually understood! They said that they know how hard it is sometimes to focus but they are glad that I told them. We came up with a reasonable way to fix the problems with my homeschool curriculum and things are great!! Thank y'all SO MUCH for all the prayers and support. I am TRULY blessed!!!

    Love,
    ~ Kaylee S. Smith
    Genna
    @ Kaylee
    on Monday, December 3, 2012 at 3:06 pm
    That is SO great, Kaylee!! I am so glad that it worked out for you so well...praise the Lord!
    Savannah
    hey Em
    on Monday, December 3, 2012 at 10:33 pm
    Em,
    Go to God first, tell him how you feel about this situation and ask him to help you deal with your emotions. Forgive you parents, remember Forgiveness is a CHOICE, and not a felling. By you choosing to forgive them you will be off to a lot better start to heal your relationship. Next, after you have done these steps and let your emotions out to God. Go to your parents. Tell them that you feel betrayed, and why. Sit them down, and make sure that you talk to them in a respectful quiet manner. It will help the atmosphere a lot. Chances are your parents would rather talk to you about the situation than your counselor. Trust is hard to build back up, yes, but it will NEVER be built back up unless you Choose to build it back up. it is not something that just shows up! I will be in prayer for you, your parents and this situation. You may also want to consider a Biblical counselor to help with your relationship/communication with your parents. A good way to find a councilor is to go to NANC, they council and accept donations but they can really relationships. They have helped mine.

    God bless!
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    @Kaylee S...
    on Monday, December 3, 2012 at 11:18 pm
    Oh, my sweet Kaylee!! I just couldn't go to bed tonight without writing to let you know how very PROUD I AM OF YOU!!! And how thankful I am for your parents exhibiting grace and the heart of God in responding to your confessing your sin and asking their forgiveness. You obeyed; God blessed! You just can't beat that! Thank you so much for letting us know so that we can rejoice with you and in the Lord! Love and blessings!
    Elaine
    @Kaylee
    on Tuesday, December 4, 2012 at 7:54 am
    Praise God! I thought your parents would understand.
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    @Em
    on Tuesday, December 4, 2012 at 3:36 pm
    It sounds like your parents, teachers and counselors are all very concerned about you, Em. Those in positions of leadership do not regularly violate confidences unless it is in your best interest and necessary for your protection.

    Losing the trust of your parents has most likely come, friend, from your choices, actions or behaviors. The information that has been shared with your parents has only exposed those truths; it has not caused your parents lack of trust. Your response to what is taking place what is most important, Em.

    God already knows everything your parents/counselors know (plus a whole lot more!) and He loves you still, Em. He loves you too much to leave you in your sin and struggle. He wants to set you free. The path to freedom begins when we “ own our stuff”. Acknowledge the truth, Em. Refuse to hide in the darkness of deception and half-truths. Bring it all to the Light by confessing your sin to God first and then to your parents/counselors. Ask God to give you a heart that is truly repentant – willing to turn away from sin – and then receive His forgiveness. Oh, my friend how He wants to heal your heart.

    Will you take a few minutes to listen or read the transcripts of Nancy DeMoss’ series on Brokenness: The Heart God Revives http://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/revive-our-hearts/what-true-brokenness/?

    I’m praying the Lord will speak to you through it, Em.
    Em
    God's Girl, Savannah, Carrie
    on Wednesday, December 5, 2012 at 1:21 am
    Thankyou guys so much for your advice. I really appreciate you all answering to my quuestions and offering your support. I will definately try what you have suggested and give it all to God.
    Christen
    Lying and Kaylee and God's Girl
    on Sunday, December 9, 2012 at 5:29 pm
    Great Kaylee!!! God is faithful and He DID strengthen you!!
    Why I don't lie
    b.c there's no point. Lieing just hurts you more in the end, even tho our hearts try to convince us otherwise. After reading Proverbs in the Bible, you gain a deeper understanding of how being bad only makes your life worse. We all should study that book more, then, since we've all done the wrong things pretty often :) !
    Heart of Mine by Nora Jones really nails that one on the head and helps with remembering not to follow our bad desires

    Heart of mine,
    So malicious and so full of guile
    I give you an inch
    And you take a mile
    Don't let yourself fall
    Don't let yourself stumble
    Oh, do the time, don't do the crime
    Heart of mine


    Gods' Girl- I love those songs and the background stores that you posted!! They really helped a lot!! Thanks for sharing!!
    Last Edit: on Sunday, December 9, 2012 at 7:16pm by cgaul  
    Elisa J.
    @teen4purity
    on Tuesday, December 11, 2012 at 12:00 pm
    but sometimes i feel like my mom has such a tight grip on me and i dont' feel like it's even right. She wants us to go along with her convictions even though we believe differently. Plus, i'm almost 21 and to the age where i would be able to make more of my own decisions. But why don't i feel right about this? I want to look attractive, not just clean and neat. But i think it's gone a little too far. I want to look perfect. I'm miserable. It seems like all my friends naturally have poreless skin and thick hair that reaches to their butt. I don't have thin hair and it's not unreasonably short and it is a pretty color, which is more than any of them can say for their hair, but... i still don't feel like it's pretty. Why do i feel so ugly? And they don't have freckles either, so i'm getting rid of mine. And why do guys seem to look at my friend more than me when she is not nearly as pretty as me, and she knows it too? I just don't understand. I know this is ridiculous, after all, i'm an adult, I should be way past this stage, but...i guess i'm not. And yes, in case you wondered, this is why i'm going behind my mom's back- i don't want her to know about my obsession, because then i'm afraid she would stop it all... thanks so much for replying and praying for me... sometimes i wonder if anyone cares about me anymore...
    mbt shoes online
    Florida546
    on Wednesday, October 30, 2013 at 7:55 am
    www.mbt dress blue shoes Lies Young Women Believe | Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire
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