Where To Sit At A Wedding

Erin Davis 12/20/12 | Twitter: @ErinGraffiti
Category: Myself ; 26 comments

Imagine this.

You are invited to the wedding of a friend. You arrive (in an adorable dress, of course) and find a scene straight out of Pinterest. The tables are decorated beautifullywedding feast with candles and fresh flowers. The smell of the food makes your mouth water. The room is crowded. Most of the seats are full. But you do notice two available spots. One is near the bride and groom. There is no indication that it's reserved. The other seat is at the kids' table, practically in the coat closet, far away from all of the festivities.

Choose your own adventure.

Do you sit in the choice spot, near the action? Or at the kids' table, where you will have to strain to hear what's happening with the bride and groom above the sound of screaming children?

It's the question Jesus asks in one my favorite stories He tells in the New Testament. It's a short story (a.k.a. parable), so I'm going to type the whole thing into this post. Check it out.

Now he told a parable to those who were invited, when he noticed how they chose the places of honor, saying to them, "When you are invited by someone to a wedding feast, do not sit down in a place of honor, lest someone more distinguished than you be invited by him, and he who invited you both will come and say to you, ‘Give your place to this person,' and then you will begin with shame to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go and sit in the lowest place, so that when your host comes he may say to you, ‘Friend, move up higher.' Then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at the table with you. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted" (Luke 14:7–11).

Jesus' story is loaded with Jewish traditions that may cause it to zoom right above our heads, but we don't have to be in New Testament Palestine to grasp the moral. In fact, like all good storytellers, Jesus sums it up for us.

"For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted" (v. 11).

He's saying that those of us who fight for position or power or attention or recognition are bound to be put in our place.

But those of us who put others first will be noticed and honored by God.

Humility is tough. Just when we think we're humble, wham! We find ourselves fighting to sit at the head of the table again (figuratively, of course). Just when we commit to put others above ourselves, we start wrestling with our own desire to make it all about us.

Maybe that's why Jesus addressed humility in this way. When He saw selfishness and pride (humility's mortal enemies) in the lives of the people He was teaching, He didn't blast them or chew them out. Instead, He told a simple story of a wedding feast and gave us an image of what humility should look like.

Christmas is literally right around the corner. It sure can be a season of me-first living. I'd like you to imagine your Christmas festivities like the wedding feast Jesus described. Instead of ripping into presents or scarfing that last piece of pie, how can you take the lowly seat at the table so to speak and put other's needs ahead of your own?

Speaking of Christmas, it's really Jesus' first story about humility. The carpenter. The shepherds. The young momma. They're all folks who would be asked to sit at the lowly end of the wedding table, and yet Jesus showed Himself to them first. It's the beginning of the greatest story ever told. If He can choose humble beginnings, you and I can choose humble living.

Think back to the wedding I described at the beginning of this post. Which seat did you choose? Are you enjoying the view from the head table or playing tic tac toe with a four year old in the back? It's just an example of course. Simply a story, but it may reveal something about your heart.

Where do you see yourself at the banquet table? Do you tend to push to the front to see and be seen or are you okay with putting others first? Either way, let Jesus' story remind you of the power of humility. How can you put His story into practice this week?


HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

    on Thursday, December 20, 2012 at 3:23 am
    Hi girls, what a co-incident...jst what my pastor was preaching on sunday , this blog helped me to put a stamp to what God had put in to his heart. As humle as i am i sometimes mistake it to being shy but i realise now that im growing in christ...stay blessed!!!
    Off Topic
    on Thursday, December 20, 2012 at 9:40 am
    Please pray for me. My OCD is really driving me crazy lately. Please also pray for my youth pastor and his family, his mom just passed away.
    on Thursday, December 20, 2012 at 11:33 am
    Hey Tabby, I totally get the OCD thing. It blends with my anxiety. I'll say a prayer for you and you Pastor and his family. Take care!
    Faith walker
    on Thursday, December 20, 2012 at 11:38 am
    I have OCD too !!' your deffiently in my prayers love !!!
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    on Thursday, December 20, 2012 at 12:52 pm
    I am praying for you this morning--asking God to see you through and give you grace and peace in abundance! I have prayed too for your youth pastor and his family in their loss. Bless them.
    on Thursday, December 20, 2012 at 4:08 pm
    Praying for you Tabby!
    Ally Elisha
    on Thursday, December 20, 2012 at 4:11 pm
    Your youth pastor's family will be in my prayers, and you too.
    But (you don't have to answer if this offends you!) what is OCD?
    on Thursday, December 20, 2012 at 4:30 pm
    I sometimes always see myself as God is humbling me. Most of the time. I've always wanted to reach for the top, and just when I'm about to get there, God says "Nope not yet!"

    Sometimes it feels like being an outcast. But I know that's not true. Sometimes I just wish I could reach the top when it comes with working with people but for some-reason God says, "No it's not your time to be exalted." I look at other people and wonder God, why them and not me?

    Slowly, even at places where I like to work out people who I normally don't talk to are starting to talk to me. Even at school. Sometimes, it's more about God then us!

    I could use prayer, I'd choose sitting playing with a 4 year old! :) That's usually what happens! :) I'm praying for you Tabby!
    on Thursday, December 20, 2012 at 5:42 pm
    What if the bride and the groom are your friends and you want to sit next to them? I suppose it's what's in your heart that you are sitting there? But thanks for the good reminder that we should be humble and always put others first.
    Thanks, everyone! and @Ally Elisha
    on Thursday, December 20, 2012 at 6:22 pm
    Thank you for your prayers everyone! It means a lot.

    And OCD stands for obsessive-compulsive disorder. There are different kinds, but the kind I have basically makes me have unwanted thoughts alot and makes me doubt things really easily.
    Ally Elisha
    Re: Tabby
    on Thursday, December 20, 2012 at 7:35 pm
    Oh, I see now. Sorry to hear about that. :( Phillipians 4:8 :D
    Tabby <3
    on Friday, December 21, 2012 at 4:56 pm
    Praying for you Tabby!!!!
    For Tabby
    Praying for you Tabby!
    on Friday, December 21, 2012 at 6:23 pm
    Hi Tabby!

    I truly believe you can be healed with OCD. I believe God can turn your problem and heal you as if nothing happened! I'm praying for you!

    My prayer is to be seated at the King's Table with the Lord Jesus Christ. Also, I truly desire to be at the Wedding's Table when it's my turn to be married! I would want to be invited to be at the front table, and be invited. :)

    Until then, I'm still most likely sit whereever the Lord wants me to sit even at a normal table!
    God's girl
    @Erin: an off topic ? about Graffiti
    on Saturday, December 22, 2012 at 6:20 pm
    Hey Erin! I'm reading your book Graffiti right now and I have a question. I just read chapter 7 about imperfection. I have terrible skin and I am overweight. The book talks about God giving us these imperfections and we can use them to glorify God. I'm just wondering isnt my bad skin my fault for not taking care of it as best as I should and isnt my weight my fault for not eating right and excercising like I should? How can I use bad skin and overweightness to glorify God? (sorry just some questions I had :)
    Thanks! I'm enjoying your book.
    Rebekah Joanna
    on Sunday, December 23, 2012 at 12:50 pm
    I'm 18 and enjoy a good relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ... However, I find that I am increasingly attracted to emotionally unavailable guys, mainly guys in relationships. I have not tried to steal boyfriends or anything. I have just keep these things to myself. What is wrong with me?
    HI! Total Off Topic Question
    What should I do?
    on Sunday, December 23, 2012 at 4:44 pm
    I have a question. Recently, I got back in touch who was a good friend of the guy I liked a couple months back. Immediately all I can think of was him when I started to talk tto my old girlfriend.

    She is so sweet and nice and I'm still friends with her from high-school. Sometimes it's just hard to seperate my girlfriend who was also a friend of the guy I liked. All I can do sometimes is think of him as a jerk. not her. But that's not Godly. By taking me out twice, then deleting me off of facebook and then talking to her it's hard to seperate the two. Even though she had nothing to do with anything.

    What do you recommend that I do? I know forgiveness is the key thing. I could use prayer for that. That as I talk to my old girlfriend from highschool I wont think of my guy friend I used to like.
    Erin Davis
    God's Girl
    on Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 3:41 pm
    I am glad you are reading my book.

    You are right that there is a difference between those things we perceive as flaws that God gave us intentionally, and those things that are a result of poor choices. That's why in the book I explore the fact that your body is a temple. You should treat it well!

    But even those things that may be a result of poor choices, like the things you described, shouldn't sideline you from glorifying God. You can glorify God and live a life for Him no matter what you look like!

    If this is truly an area where you are lacking self control (you might ask a wise, older woman for her input, because sometimes we don't see ourselves accurately) then try this. Pray about it. Ask God to give you self control to make better food choices as a way to honor His creation. Don't diet just to be thinner or to fit some Hollywood stereotype, but ask God to show you how He designed you to eat.

    Make sense?

    Thanks again for reading. I hope God opens your eyes to your tremendous worth to Him through that book!

    Grace and Peace!

    God's girl
    on Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 3:50 pm
    Wow Erin! Thank you so much. I've tried dieting type things but always with the goal of being thin. I never thought of it as a way to glorify God by making choices that please Him. Thanks again!!!!!!!
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ Hi! Totally Off topic question
    on Thursday, December 27, 2012 at 1:26 pm
    I’m praying for you, my friend, and asking God to enable you to keep these two relationships totally separate in your mind. This girl is not the guy that you liked. She is a dear friend. Feel free to ask her not to talk about this guy and to help you focus on re-establishing your friendship with her. Enjoy her, my friend, and cherish her friendship. I encourage you to continue to take your thoughts captive through the Scriptures we have shared with you over the last few months. God, as you keep focused on Him, will not only transform your thinking, but will help you to enjoy your friendship with your girlfriend.
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    @Rebekah Joanna
    on Friday, December 28, 2012 at 9:07 pm
    Since you have a relationship with Jesus you’re a child of God! Just as you needed Jesus and His gospel to save you from your sin when you came to salvation, so you need Jesus and His gospel daily so that you can walk in light of that which is true of you as a daughter of the King!
    James 1:14-15 says that we’re tempted (in your case attracted to certain guys) when we’re lured (the Greek word implies like a fish from under a rock is lured by a worm on a hook) by our own desire.
    Ask the Lord to show you the root of your desire, friend. He’ll bring to light whatever is in your heart. Then surrender that desire to Him and ask Him to help you set your mind on His kingdom. “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you( Matt. 6:33).”
    And then…Thank Him for being the One who delights to give us the desires of our heart. “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).”
    Oh, how He loves you, my friend! Rest in that love tonight.
    @Rebekah Joanna
    on Saturday, December 29, 2012 at 7:38 pm
    Guys that have a partner have in a way been ”validated" by their counterpart. They appear to have been approved already. With a single guy you are the one that has to bring part of stability to the relationship. It is a bit risky. But consider, not all that appears to shine as gold is gold, and wait until you find someone worth your risk.
    Re: C. Jazzy101
    on Saturday, December 29, 2012 at 8:11 pm
    Hi Jazzy, I feel your experience. Have been there. It is so good to know that Jesus left us an example to follow. He did not care to occupy the high places of man. Therefore, he was free to please the Father and care for the outcast and rejected.

    It took a while before I learned to get my affirmation from the highest source. It shows up in my walk and talk now. People begin to notice. But to me it is not so important anymore. I think now I could probably find contentment sitting at the children's table.
    Thank-you Lorree!
    Thank-you for the words of encouragement!
    on Sunday, December 30, 2012 at 7:02 pm
    Hi Lorree,
    Thank-you so much for that. I really appreciated that, and you were right on the dot. I haven't spoken to my other friend and yeah you're right it's hard. I'll keep this. It's been a long journey, and I truly appreciate it. It means a lot, and brought me to tears in a good way.
    Thank-you Maria!
    on Sunday, December 30, 2012 at 7:05 pm
    Hi Maria!

    Thank-you so much!
    It's hard, but you are right and thank-you for the encouragement. God will exult you at the proper time. It's hard, and thanks I think sitting at the children's table is a good thing.

    I was just hanging out with my youngest cousins this past Christmas and had some of the most fun times! :) How long did it take you?
    on Thursday, January 3, 2013 at 10:35 am
    I have been saved for about 25 years. I have been through various stages in my walk. The stage we are referring to is probably equivalent to the natural young adulthood. It lasted a number of years. My victory came when I realized Jesus is truly my everything, and i was able to truly rest in him daily. I decided to accept the way he saw me...perfect...

    This is the assurance that i need daily. If there is something not right between him and me, i get it right. It is the relationship I value above all. Every day. He gives me the confidence and ability to go conquer what he has set before me. I don't wait for man's approval. I wait for his.

    I had a number of things to overcome in my life before I got here...and there is still a glorious road ahead for me...

    The path of the just is like a lamp that shines brighter and brighter till the perfect day...
    on Monday, January 21, 2013 at 11:17 pm
    Tabby you have such a role model spirit...I will be praying for you.
    I would definately want to sit at the kings table...I am having trouble feeling close to him though. Any ideas on how to feel closer to him?(-:

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