Best Of: What Is True Friendship?

Erin Davis 01/08/13 | Twitter: @ErinGraffiti
Category: Relationships ; 50 comments

From the LYWB.com team: It's our fifth birthday here on the blog. To celebrate we are featuring the "best of" the blog all month. This post on friendship sure got you talking. With 179 comments, it's clear that many of you are wondering about what makes a true friend.

friends with arms around each otherI can remember it like it was yesterday. I was in the seventh grade. I had just dialed in the combination to my locker when an avalanche occurred. Someone had filled my locker to the brim with hygiene products. When I opened the locker, it triggered the avalanche and several bottles of soap and shampoo spilled out into the hallway. As if that wasn't embarrassing enough, the culprits had included a note that pointed out that I "stunk" and suggested that I use the "gifts" they'd given me to take a shower. I was humiliated. I wanted to run. I wanted to hide. I swore I was never coming back to seventh grade.

It turns out that the shampoo bandits were my "friends." While it's true that the hormonal changes of puberty may have left me less than shower fresh, their tactic for dealing with it was less than friendly. In fact, it was downright mean.

That wasn't the first time that my relationship with my "friends" caused turmoil in my life, and it certainly wasn't the last. Our friendships can be the source of some angst, especially in middle school and high school. As a result, we can get pretty wrapped up in the pain our friends have caused us or in our desire to have more friends in order to feel more loved and accepted. But God's Word encourages us to shift our focus away from our own needs and toward the needs of others.

Philippians 2:3 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves."

This certainly applies to our friendships. That's why I want to challenge you to focus more on being a friend than having the right friends or the right number of friends.

In Lies Young Women Believe, Nancy and Dannah write, "You are called to be a true friend. If your focus is on who likes you, you're not pursuing true friendship. If your focus is on who is asking you to hang out with them, it's all wrong. That's not a spiritual mind-set. Ask the Lord to help you be more concerned about who needs you than who likes you."

But just what are the qualities of a good friend? Let's use Galatians 5:22–23 as our guide.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

What kind of friend are you? Are you loving, peaceful (in this case, that means easy to get along with instead of a conflict starter!), patient, kind, good, faithful (no ditching your friends when something better comes along), gentle and self-controlled? Do you seek to demonstrate Christ's love to others by being a good friend?

Let's go back to what Nancy and Dannah wrote about friendship in Lies Young Women Believe:

There are people who need your friendship. Ask God to give you eyes to see who they are and start becoming a friend today. And please, please—if it's not too late—don't do that silly, superficial girl thing around seventh or eighth grade where you cut off every friend who is not as old as you. If you can just be a friend through the next few awkward months, you might have a friend for life.

So what do you say, are you wiling to shift your focus away from having more friends—and even from the drama that your current friendships may be causing—and toward becoming a true friend to others in need? What are some ways that you can begin to reach out to others around you in the spirit of true friendship?

This blog was created to help you in your pursuit of truth. So as you begin to reach out to those around you, we want to encourage you to share your ideas and experiences with others. What are some practical steps you can take to be a true friend to those around you? I am going to start by calling a friend of mine who is having a hard time at home and offering to take her out for sushi (yum!). I bet you can come up with some other great ideas for demonstrating friendship to others. Share your ideas right here on the blog. We can't wait to hear from you.

Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, weíre not trained counselors. If youíre seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as theyíll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

    friends??
    Re:
    on Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 7:01 am
    Being a friend for me is like to be a good listener. One must know how to listen to their friends when they needed someone to talk to.
    Gloria
    Re:
    on Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 7:02 am
    Say, you try to make friends but the friend you know needs a friend isn't the right friend for you?
    Alexis
    @Gloria
    on Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 7:28 am
    I would just try and find somebody else that needs a friend! I have been best friends with this girl since first grade!( I'm in eighth) until 5th grade when some girl came and had taken my best friend away! And I love this girls personality but she makes choices that I don't think are right! So I just found a girl who didn't have any friends and know we are best friends and I love her more than ever!
    Abi
    @Gloria
    on Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 8:21 am
    Gloria...I know that there are people out there that are just waiting for you to talk to them! And trust me... when you talk to them, it will be so much fun! i love talking to people and i wasn't always like that. But when i started introducing myself i made so many new friends and believe it or not... I liked it! So go out today and talk to someone you haven't talked to before or recently... this is your chance to make someone feel special!
    Abigail
    Re:
    on Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 12:56 pm
    I think that it's a great idea to offer your friends to study with them! I think that we are more likely to do wasteful things with our friends and in this way, you show how much you care for your friend and it helps them! And it's not a bad idea to finish with a meal to a restaurant or some ice cream!
    Blue
    Re:
    on Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 1:01 pm
    Hey, guys! Quick prayer request.. Last night this guy I go to college with randomly texted me, and he wanted to talk about God. I know he's an atheist, but from what he was telling me, he feels empty in life & he's searching for some "spiritual being". He asked me how I came to God, so I have him the short PG version of my testimony & directed him to John. I told him to ask God to reveal himself & he will. This guy doesn't believe that God is real & he doesn't expect anything (although I pointed out that he must have some shred of faith since he's searching), but he said he would check out some of John. This was all last night. Just pray that God would give Mike something of Himself. Pray that the Holy Spirit would convict Mike's heart for Him, that Mike would know that God is real, and that He would consider living his whole life for Jesus. I'm so nervous that Mike's expectations might not be met in the Word & that he'll get discouraged =( I've been praying for Mike every now and then since I met him.. I hope that God does something amazing in Mike's life. Please!!
    T
    @Blue
    on Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 1:21 pm
    That's so exciting!!! I'm so happy he's searching. I'll pray for him and for you to know what to say and how to answer his questions. I really hope he opens up to God!
    Blue
    Re:
    on Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 1:38 pm
    Aww thank you, T!! =) I really appreciate it<3
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    @Gloria
    on Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 2:24 pm
    Scripture tells us to be cautious in friendships (Proverbs 12:26), Gloria. Surrounding ourselves with friends who would negatively impact our walk with the Lord is unwise (Proverbs 22:24-25; 2 Corinthians 6:14).

    Our closest friends need to be those who are also followers of Christ. Our friendships with non-believers are for the purpose of displaying the love of Christ and sharing the good news of the gospel.
    Jon
    Stuck
    on Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 3:27 pm
    Hi,

    I have a very special friend, and she's the best person I've ever known in my life. I can tell her things that I wouldn't dare to tell my parents, because I trust her completely. She loves God dearly, and we've shared a lot of talks about the Lord and Christianity.

    We were really close, but my family had to move. Now we are thousands of kilometers away from each other, living in a totally different culture. We've been separated for a year and half.

    We shared emails so that we could keep our special friendship, and for a year it went quite well. But as we both got busy with grades, college, and things, we lost our old way.

    I really don't want to lose her, and I believe she feels the same way. But I don't know what to do. It feels like everything has changed. I ask God for help but he doesn't answer.

    Will you please pray for us?
    volleyball12!
    my bff
    on Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 4:59 pm
    well i have been bffs with my friend emma since like kindergarden. we r in 7th grade now. idk if we are as good of bffs we use to be. she dosnt like talk to me that much. anyways since like kindergared i have gone to her birthday parties and never missed 1 she invited me this year again.(idk what to get her since we dont talk that much so if u have any gift ideas for a 3 year old girl give me a message thx if u do) and well i really want to be close to her like we use to but idk if she does. her other friends are backstabbers and i dont want her to get hurt. idk what to say to her so if anyone has anything i thank u! (her bday party is the fri. so if u have any present ideas or ideas of what to say to her to let her know i want to be like we were before i need them by then) thx luv u all
    volleyball12!
    my bff
    on Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 5:00 pm
    sorry i forgot the 1 in 13 she is 13 not 3
    Gloria
    Re:
    on Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 5:42 pm
    At my school I do not have many Christian friends. I started going to a new church 2 years ago (so i guess i wouldn't call it new). But I feel very lonely whenever I go to church b/c its hard to make friends. Most girls my age are already in their "cliques" and I feel very out of place. I am so used to being with my old friends at my old church and I miss them. What should I do? Please pray for me!

    P.S Thank you Alexis, Abi and Carrie for your advice. I appreciate it a lot. :)
    friend
    Gloria
    on Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 6:21 pm
    There was a person on my soccer team who i wanted to be friends with to help her and encourage her, she was in a really tough time in her life, but she didn't want anything to do with me, so i was kind to her and let her know in soft hints that i was there for her, and one day i met up with her, and acted like we were best friends, and wondered why i was kind to her like we were friends when no one else wanted to be, and that gave me an excelent opportunity to tell her about my faith, i think no neccesarily trying to get into their life, but softly let them know that your their for them,
    friend
    gloria follow up
    on Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 6:23 pm
    *one day i met up with her, and she acted like we were best friends......
    Person
    @jon
    on Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 7:03 pm
    Maybe God is trying to teach you to be more dependable on Him and not rely on others for your spiritual needs...just a thought...praying for your relationship.
    Praying also for Gloria & Blue
    Layla
    @volleyball12
    on Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 9:03 pm
    Quick gift idea...
    An idea for a gift could be to give her some money, then on a piece of paper write that for her birthday you and a parent will take her out shopping and to lunch. This could be a great way to reconnect. I have given this to some of my friends and it is a win-win because you get to spend time with them too.

    That's really sweet of you to not want your friend to get hurt by her backstabbing friends, and I will be praying for you with that! My advice though is to try to get 1-on-1 time with your friend without the others---that will be the only way you can control the situation.
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ Blue
    on Wednesday, January 9, 2013 at 1:34 pm
    Thank you, Blue, for your willingness to be used by God in Mikeís life by praying and sharing your testimony with him. I join you in praying for him this morning. God does not want anyone to perish (2 Pet. 3:9). He can be trusted to pursue Mike and not give up on him. Speak to Mike, Lord, through the words of John. May Mikeís heart be pricked with conviction as he reads Your words and may he turn to You to fill the empty place in his heart that only You can fill. Let the day of his salvation be soon. Thank you, Lord, for what you are doing in his life.
    JoAnn
    @vollyball 12
    on Wednesday, January 9, 2013 at 1:43 pm
    Do you know if your friend has a favorite shower gel scent? I enjoy receiving shower gel, candles, chocolate, books gift certificates/money. Shopping would be a great way to let her know you want to be her friend. Hope you find something.
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ Jon
    on Wednesday, January 9, 2013 at 2:26 pm
    It sounds like you had a special friendship with this young woman. Do you love her? Is she someone you want to pursue and take your relationship to the next level? Have you spoken about this with your father or with another older godly man in seeking their advice?

    Have you shared your fears and feelings with her? She cannot read your mind, Jon, just as you cannot read hers. I encourage you to ask her questions and see if she is still on the same page as you are. Do what you need to bring clarity to the relationship by opening communication either through the email or by picking up the phone and calling. She may not have any idea that you are struggling as you think about losing her friendship. I encourage you to pray about this, seek godly advice and as the Lord leads, do what you need to initiate your relationship again. Iím praying for your courage and for your wisdom, Jon.
    volleyball12!
    @joAnnandlayla
    on Wednesday, January 9, 2013 at 3:08 pm
    thanks for the ideas! @layla thank you for praying for us! she has been wanting money so thats a great idea!@joAnn and i think im going to the mall and i might get her something in bath and body works! thx so much!

    those are great ideas but i think i want to get her like a big present and a bunch of little ones! thx if u have any other suggestions!

    luv,
    volleyball12!
    Question-Idea
    ANy ideas?
    on Wednesday, January 9, 2013 at 4:53 pm
    Hi thank-you so much for this!
    I had trouble with a "friend." once. I thought she was a friend of mine until she was very mainpulating and controlling. And I had to dropp the friendship and leave. God told me to forgive her.

    I'm finally starting to make some new friends friends. We chit-chat about guys a lot which is fun. And I'm trying to figure out what to do for fun. What suggestions do people have? One of my friends and I painted nails together until she moved...
    She was a good friend.

    ANyone have ideas? :)
    Jacqueline
    best friends
    on Wednesday, January 9, 2013 at 9:30 pm
    a true best friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you any way.
    Quinn P.
    What a friend is.
    on Thursday, January 10, 2013 at 11:53 am
    A friend is someone who is there for you, who will do any thing to make sure you are okay. She will treat you with respect. She won't gossip or lie about you. I think bff s are the best thing next to sisters. My bff was there for me.
    Gods Little Girl
    Please Pray! Advice!!!
    on Thursday, January 10, 2013 at 1:40 pm
    Please pray for me! I need advice! Some girl came to my school and I need advice because she is nice but she is taking away my best friend! And I don't want to follow Gabby bc she does stuff i would not do! Help!!
    A Human
    @Question-Idea
    on Thursday, January 10, 2013 at 1:42 pm
    My friend and I have sleepovers and paint our nails an watch tv! Sometimes it's also fun to put on crazy makeup!! I hope this helps!
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ Gloria
    on Thursday, January 10, 2013 at 1:51 pm
    I recently moved, too. Itís easy to look back and wish that your old friends were still with you. Iíve found it difficult to step out of my comfort zone and talk to people I donít know very well. But Iím making the effort to do just that. Iíve began to see that these ďstrangersĒ are just friends I havenít ďmetĒ yet. God is showing me that friendship takes time and effort. I encourage you to pray and ask God to open your eyes to see who needs a friend in your school or church. When we step out and be a friend, we will make friends. You might look for another new girl and invite her to eat lunch with you. Thatís a great way of reaching out. Iím praying that you can begin to look at those around you through Godís eyes and have the courage to step out and initiate friendship to those He shows you.
    Katelyn
    Re:
    on Thursday, January 10, 2013 at 3:10 pm
    I have learned a lot from this lesson. I have had a time with discovering what true friends are && not to try to impress people. Sooo.. I have friends that always have my back..
    @ A Human
    Thanks!
    on Thursday, January 10, 2013 at 7:41 pm
    Hi!
    I really appreciate that! Perhaps something that's my friend and I could do! :) That would be fun! I love painting my nails! She loves watching movies. And making food!
    Thank-you!
    K
    Advice please...
    on Friday, January 11, 2013 at 1:21 am
    I get on well with most of my friends except one. Anytime you seem to "offend" her, she just begins to ignore you.
    She always seems to think we're leaving her by herself even when she's with one of our other good friends.
    K
    whoops...continuation
    on Friday, January 11, 2013 at 1:29 am
    Anyway, I was just wondering what I should do. Some of my friends are also facing the same thing, whereas; the other half of my friendship group don't seem to care.
    Please- what should I do
    Ps: I'm from the UK and we will be leaving highschool in less than 4 months. I'm may never see this girl again as I'm going to a different college...
    SB
    @ Katelyn
    on Friday, January 11, 2013 at 8:05 am
    God will always be your best friend because he always looks on the inside and not on the outside. He will always be there for you. I will be praying for you.
    God's little princess
    ???
    on Sunday, January 13, 2013 at 3:16 pm
    How do you know when people are really your friends? Cuz at co-op I'm now popular, and i dont know whether these people wanna be my real friends, or just hang out with me cuz i'm popular.
    unknown
    RE:
    on Monday, January 14, 2013 at 9:10 am
    i have a BFF, but sometimes i don't know if i should socialize with her cauz' she's very sinful.
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ God's Little Girl
    on Monday, January 14, 2013 at 6:20 pm
    True friends will not encourage you to sin. True friends are willing to confront you if you are doing things that are wrong. Are you willing to be that kind of friend for your best friend, Godís little girl? Could you speak to your best friend and share your concerns about the road she is headed down? Be sure and pray for her, ask God to show you when the best time to talk is and ask Him to prepare both of your hearts for the conversation. Itís also a good idea to let your mom know whatís going on so she can pray for you and help you as you walk through this difficult time. Iím praying for you, Godís Little Girl.
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ God's little princess
    on Tuesday, January 15, 2013 at 5:26 pm
    Time will tell if these are true friends or whether they are just hanging around. The key question to ask is what kind of a friend are you? If you are a true friend, then true friends will come along for you. As we are what God wants us to be, He will bless us with friends who will encourage us to be all God wants us to be. Who will you reach out to today?
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    @Question-Idea
    on Tuesday, January 15, 2013 at 8:31 pm
    Iím so glad you asked! Why not ask the Lord who in your community, church, neighborhood or family you and your friends could reach out to? Is there a young single- mom who could desperately use a night out? Could you and your friends plan a night of fun, food, games and movies for her kids? Is there an older couple in your church who would love to have two or three girls they could talk to or play games with? Oh ,my friend the opportunities are endless. Sure itís ok to have ď regular funĒ hanging out with your friends, but why not do something radically different!

    Start a new trend, my friendÖ and see what God might do!

    Here are a few posts that will give you additional ideas:

    http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=897
    http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=1785
    http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=1887
    http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=1831
    http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=798
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ K
    on Wednesday, January 16, 2013 at 4:13 pm
    It sounds as if your friend is very insecure. I encourage you to keep a short sin account with this friend. If she seems to have been offended by you, seek her forgiveness. Prayer could work miracles in this young girlís life. Pray for her and ask God to speak to her heart so that she will realize that she would recognize her deep heart issue. True security can only be found in Jesus Christ. He is the only One who will love us completely. Friends will come and go, But Christ is the only One who will be with us now and throughout all eternity. Have you shared Christ with your friend, K?

    I encourage you to make the opportunity to talk with your friend about your concerns for her. First make sure that your heart is right with the Lord and that your own sins arenít clouding your view of what is going on with this girl. Then ask God to give you the opportunity to share your heart with her. Sharing what you see in her life from a heart of humility could speak volumes to her. Iím praying for you, K, and asking God to pour His grace on you as you reach out to this friend and speak truth into her life.
    God's little princess
    Re to Lorree
    on Wednesday, January 16, 2013 at 4:43 pm
    Well, i try to be the best friend i can be, ya know, like Jesus is to me! :) thanks for the advice!
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ Unknown
    on Wednesday, January 16, 2013 at 5:00 pm
    Who we are best friends with is a very important decision we make, my friend. God tells us to be careful in choosing our friends because we can easily go down a path away from God. Proverbs 22:24-25 cautions us about making friends with one who cannot control their temper because we can learn his ways and get snared with that sin. Proverbs 13:20 says: ďWhoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.Ē

    You may think that your friend does ok with her anger and you may not consider her a ďfoolĒ. But the principle here is to surround ourselves with people who encourage us to follow Godís ways and not sin. Iím not saying that you shouldnít be friends with this girl. But I would be very careful with her being your ďbest friendĒ.

    Iím praying for you, and asking God to give you courage to do whatís right and to show you people who will encourage you to obey God rather than to sin. Doing the right thing may be hard, but obedience to the Lord always is right.
    K
    Thanks and...
    on Friday, January 18, 2013 at 12:29 pm
    Thankyou very much. I have told her that I love and believe in GOD, however; she's a full blown atheist.
    I started praying about the whole situation and I have noticed that her attitude has slightly improved.
    I'm gonna keep on trusting GOD.
    anna
    real!
    on Thursday, January 31, 2013 at 5:44 pm
    i've gone through so many friends who hurt me and betrayed me it hurt really bad!!but god showed me that he loved me and would never leave me it was amazing!!! god is so good!!<3
    V
    Trapped!!!!!!! - please read!
    on Monday, February 11, 2013 at 8:41 pm
    These days I feel completely alone in my walk with God. At school averyone is so worldly. All the girls care about how they look and the boys care about how the girls look. I used to wear makeup to increase my confidence but I recently stopped because I want to be natural. Please dont get me wrong , there is nothing wong with makeup but I want to feel my inner beauty shine through. Sorry i kinda went off topic. So I have these 2 friends. One is an unbeliever and the other an unholy muslim. The unbeliever used to be my best friend for a long time but recently something changed. She is a REALLY BAD friend.. She laughs when you fall, she cares too much about her looks, she doesnt comfort or offer support when you are down, she is made of ice. She considers crying weak and never shows her feeling. Thses days I wonder how we became friends at all. The problem is that I dont know how to get away from her. All of the girl groups are tightly linked so it would be impossible for me to leave her. SHE IS JUST TOXIC! She has even corrupted the nice muslim girl. I just feel left out and so alone. I know that the only opinion that matters is God's but while we are here on Earth it seems so far out of reach. Im so sorry for the moaning but i just really need some advice! ay would be appreciated. I am too scared to become a loner as that would be good for my spiritual life but not neccesarily beneficial for my social life. I just miss having that precious friend that makes you laugh , smile and knows you better than you know you. Btw I have just joined and Im really happy because suddenly I don't feel quite as alone. Us christian teenage girls are the ones that face some of the hardest situations, but no one really seems to understand that. God Bless you in advance for any advice you have.
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    @V
    on Wednesday, February 13, 2013 at 8:13 pm
    You, my friend, are on a mission field. Jesus has chosen to strategically place you among those who desperately need to hear, see and experience His love. Yes, the mission field can be lonely at times, but think of the awesome privilege youíve been given, V. Jesus wants His life to shine through you to all those who are not followers of Christ.
    But itís also important that you are wise in your relationships with unbelievers. They wonít be your closest friends, V. Pray that the Lord will raise up even one godly friend or mentor with whom you can share , pray and grow together in your faith. Know Iím praying that for you today, friend.
    Check out these additional links on friendships:
    http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=910 Ė Iím Lonely Too
    http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=912 Ė Four Friends Every Girl Needs
    http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=801 Ė Three Ways to Have Better Friendships
    V
    THANK YOU SO MUCH!Xx
    on Friday, February 15, 2013 at 4:51 pm
    Thankyou for your awesome advice Carrie, it is really appreciated at this time. I guess the point is not to give up. God Bless You!
    Kaetlyn
    What do YOU think???
    on Saturday, March 16, 2013 at 4:30 pm
    So, my best friend is more like my sister than anybody else, but lately she hasn't had ANY time for me. Like... last night we were at our church's Bigger and Better auction/talent show, and in the middle of the second round of talents, she ditched me... not a "I'm gonna go sit over there okay?" not even a word, for a stupid guy who is one of my youth groups leaders. I felt so alone, I was seriously sitting at the end of an aisle with an empty seat next to me. I wanted to run and cry, I was just about to break down crying too. I've asked her to hang out with me for a whole fricken month, and something else always comes up, I know she loves me, but she's not the best at showing it :'(
    I told my mom she bailed on me AGAIN, because she has to take pictures tomorrow for a band, I was so ticked off! She sits with me at church and I honestly want to give her the silent treatment and just treat her the way she treats me, but I can't bring myself to o it, I just love her too much, it hurts me to see her hurt.
    I can't figure out if she's a true friend or not. She loves me like I am her little sister, and when I'm going through tough times she's (almost) always there, but I feel like she's too popular to be seen around me.
    Please help me... I've felt so sick and clueless
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    @Kaetlyn...
    on Saturday, March 16, 2013 at 7:27 pm
    There are a few things above you might want to pray about and ask the Lord how you can best live them out...

    "You are called to be a true friend. If your focus is on who likes you, you're not pursuing true friendship. ... Ask the Lord to help you be more concerned about who needs you than who likes you."

    "But just what are the qualities of a good friend? Let's use Galatians 5:22Ė23 as our guide. 'But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.'"

    Give your sister some space. Look for her needs instead of your own. Be kind and loving, even when she isn't paying attention to your needs. She is your true friend--she loves you; remember she is growing up too, and that is not always easy to do.
    Kaetlyn
    @Sarah
    on Sunday, March 17, 2013 at 4:45 pm
    Thank you Sarah,
    I'll try giving her some space. :)
    Chris
    struggling freindships
    on Tuesday, May 27, 2014 at 1:47 pm
    I became close to this girl Iris. We got close over the years. Both married, we both have kids and recently our friendship started to drift. I brought it up to her and she shared how she felt but she hurt my feelings... because I don't give her the attention she requires from a friend. My children are a lot younger, I work full time, and I feel so angry because she feels that I don't come around all the time that's why she backed off from me.
    My idea of friendship is being there for one another regardless of distance or time, it's to help when the other is weak, to love them unconditionally. I just feel so confused.
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ Chris
    on Wednesday, May 28, 2014 at 12:50 pm
    Iím so sorry that you are experiencing some pain and challenges in your friendship with Iris. I encourage you to pray for her and for yourself and ask God to reveal to you how you can heal and reconcile your relationship. Friendships can change over time as our lives take different paths. But God can help you to traverse this with grace and in a way that brings Him honor and glory. Iím including a link to a series on Friendship from Revive Our Hearts. Please listen/read through it and ask the Lord to speak to your heart through it. Iím praying for you, Chris!

    Friendship with Amy Baker
    http://tinyurl.com/k5dtxhu

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