Best Of: To Those Wrestling With Lesbianism

Erin Davis 01/24/13 | Twitter: @ErinGraffiti
Category: Sin ; 77 comments

From the team: It's our fifth birthday here on the blog. To celebrate, we are featuring the "best of" the blog all month. This blog on homosexuality was one of our most popular posts ever. It received 90 comments. If you've struggled in this area, this post is for you.

sad girlI love it when you ask tough questions. Digging into God's Word to find answers about the complex issues you are thinking about and dealing with is one of the best perks of my job. That's why this week I want to tackle an issue that many of you have written to us about—homosexuality.

Here's a quick look at some of the comments you've sent us on this subject.

I'm a lesbian. I've known I like girls since I was four. I believe in the power of Christ and accept Him into my heart, but I also believe that the love between two women is in no way inferior to the love between a man and a woman. I know the Bible says homosexuality is a sin, but I pray that Jesus will love and accept me as I am. I have never liked guys, and I'm not going to live my entire life pretending I do to please Jesus, though I love Him. Just wanted to share a different perspective.

Just as the color of your hair or skin, your sexual preference is decided by your GENETICS. People who identify as being gay or homosexual do not have a choice in who they love. It is unfair to try and force a person out of a trait they cannot change. Imagine for a moment why, for any reason, you have the right to judge another person for the way that they LOVE another person. Homosexuality does not harm any aspect of this world, economy, or marriage. These are real living people who are as dedicated to each other as the oldest couples you know. Please stop spreading the prejudice toward individuals who identify as homosexual. Please don't let your personal opinions choke another's right to live and experience.

What exactly does the Bible say about homosexuality? I know it says stuff against it in the Old Testament, and I don't believe it's right, but I was wondering which specific verses talk about it.

Before we go much deeper, we need to establish this baseline—God sees homosexuality as sinful. His point of view on this issue is stated clearly in His Word. In fact, I dedicated an entire post to this subject several months ago. You can read that post here, but here are some key verses to keep in mind.

Leviticus 18:22 says, "‘Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.'"

Leviticus 20:13 says, "‘If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.'"

First Corinthians 6:9–10 says, "Do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."

Since God's Word is so clear on this subject, why has the issue become so cloudy in the minds of so many? I think the first two readers I quoted hit on a key area of confusion—the common belief that homosexuals are born gay. You might be shocked to hear that the Bible actually agrees, but not on the terms that the world gives. You see we are all born with a bent toward sin.

Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me (Ps. 51:5).

In Romans 7:18, Paul said, "For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out."

We are all born with a desire, a tendency, and a capacity to sin. For some the tendency is to abuse substances or to have angry outbursts or to act promiscuously in heterosexual relationships. For others, possibly as a result of family history, environment, and poor choices, the tendency might be to gravitate toward homosexuality. But just because it feels natural doesn't mean it isn't sin or even that it is in our best interest. Sin is our nature, but that doesn't negate the fact that it always wreaks havoc in our lives. 

So to you, sweet girls, who are struggling with an inclination toward lesbianism, let me offer you this hope. Jesus came to break the power of your sin nature in your life. 

In Romans 7:25 we read, "Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin."

You may have always had homosexual feelings, so much so that if feels like you were created a homosexual. But that's not what God's Word says. The Bible acknowledges that yes, you were born sinful, but you were also created as a child of God, redeemable by His sacrifice on the cross. God asks you to throw off your sin and run the race of life for His glory (Heb. 12:1). 

I know this is a complex topic, so let's keep talking about it. And let us work together to satisfy our natural inclination to sin less and to honor our powerful God more. In what other areas of your life do you naturally gravitate toward sin? What verses do you rely on to remind you of God's truth in this area?


HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

    I love Jesus but...
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 7:37 am
    I still like girls. It's hard because I've felt this way for a long time not so much that I was born this way but enough that it feels natural. And I know it's wrong. Someone recently told me that God wants his absolute best for me and that's why he wants me to be with a guy (in the way that he planned). That makes a lot of sense and I know it's the right way now I just still struggle with the thoughts I have. Girl crushes. It's hard and sometimes I want to give in.

    Please pray for me. :)
    Dear "I love Jesus but...."
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 8:07 am
    Keep fighting girl!!! He has your hand in this and your back. Most people struggling with homosexuality won't even try to have The Lord deliver them from it, they just
    Don't care. God has allowed you to have this partcular sin issue because His glory will come from it!!! His name will be proclaimed!!! Keep fighting, you will not be fighting alone :)
    Dear "I love Jesus but..."
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 8:31 am
    What a brave comment to make. I just wanted to say that I love Jesus, but...I still like to get drunk...I don't do it, but I still want to...desperately sometimes. I will pray for you and pray that God will glorify Himself boldly in your life! God be with you, child.
    Praise God!!
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 9:17 am
    Praise God that I had never struggled with being a lesbian!! He has protected me!

    I'm praying for all the girls out there that are struggling with this sin!! I know God is putting you through this trial to bring honor and glory to His name!! Just pray and read your Bible and talk to God and He will talk to you!! God lives you SO much!!! If He puts you through a trial He will give you enough grace and strength to go through it!!
    Encouragement for "I Love Jesus but..."
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 10:33 am
    Hello, I too had struggled with "girl crushes" and thinking I was born gay but God has redeemed and renewed my mind, body and desires! He will do this for you. Here are some practical things I did when temptation struck: 1. renew my mind with His words - have a regular time of bible reading so you can always step away and refresh your mind and desires toward Him, 2. number one helps two, take EVERY thought captive to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Knowing God's word helps put satan and his temptations in their place and away from you and your mind. 3. number one and two help number 3...meditate on what is true, lovely, pure, etc. (Philippians 4:8) about you, who God truly made you to be and God Himself- repeat truth over and over and remind yourself of God's love and the world's love will fade in comparison. 4. find Godly friends to confide in, share this burden and pray for your walk daily. I do hope this helps and encourages you that renewal and transformation from our sinful self to the woman God made you to be is possible, God says it is possible to live a pure and holy life IN HIM and you can do it! Many Prayers for your journey with Him
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 11:00 am
    So, I'm straight, have been all my life, but when i was 11 and again @ 13 i had sleepovers with a girl who started feeling my body and i kinda thought it might be wrong but i was too innocent back then to know what it really was and how wrong it is. so here's my question, am i still a virgin? Did i lose my virginity through the lesbian sex, or not? thanx! lia
    God's little princess
    I have a question!!! :)
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 11:21 am
    So, how do people become gay? i'm straight, and i think all gay stuff is so gross, [no offense to you who struggle with this] but are they born like that? i was at my brother's wedding and i danced with one of the grooms man, and i found out later he was gay, this totally freaked me out that a gay guy hugged me and touched me, so was it a sin to dance with him? Cuz i didn't know he was like this till after.
    Kaylee S. Smith
    Thanks God; Praying
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 12:01 pm
    I thank God that I haven't ever struggled with homosexuality or bisexuality.

    I will be praying for those of you who do struggle with them.

    ~ Kaylee S. Smith
    @Gods little princess
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 1:19 pm
    It wasn't a sin to dance with that guy, he's a sinner in the fact that he struggles with being gay, but we're all sinners too. Ive lied and gossiped and been greedy and jealous and countless other things. Jesus still loves me and he still loves the guy at your brothers wedding.
    I don't remember where the verse is, but Im reminded of the part in the bible when Jesus said to the Pharasees that he had come to be with the sinners and tax collectors, or something like that...
    So yeah. Don't know if that helped at all but there it is :p
    Kaylee S. Smith
    @EmilyJ & @ Anyone Else On Here
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 3:09 pm
    Maybe this is the verse you were thinking of, EmilyJ?

    Luke 5:32 (NIV) - "I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance."

    (same message but different variation of words in Mark 2:17 and Matthew 9:13)

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    God WILL forgive you when you ask Him. Nothing is too big for Him to forgive and please, I pray, do not let the devil talk you into being 'too deep' into whatever sin that it's 'too late' to try and make things right. It is NEVER too late!

    Hebrews 8:12 (NLT) (the Lord speaking):, "And I will forgive their wickedness, and I will never again remember their sins."

    And again in Psalm 103:12 (NLT), "He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west."

    God Bless - I'm still praying for y'all.

    ~ Kaylee S. Smith
    @Gods little princess
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 3:19 pm
    It's no more wrong to dance with/talk to/be friends with a gay guy than it is to do any of those things with anyone. We all fall short of the glory of God. That guy is no worse a sinner than you, than me, than anyone. For some reason, we as Christians seem to hold up homosexuality as the "ultimate sin" but God doesn't rate sin. It is all evil and displeasing to Him. I'm certainly not defending homosexuality by any means, but if we can't interact with someone who has this sin struggle, how will we reach them?
    The Bible lists greed and slander in the same sentence as homosexuality. I can say that I was born a liar, that I've been a liar since I was four years old. Does that mean I should stop trying to be honest? After all, I was born that way. No. It just means I have to work at doing the right thing. Homosexuality is the same way. Sorry, I kind of took a little tangent from what I was initially saying, but it's something to think about.
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ Anonymous - I love Jesus but...
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 3:37 pm
    Thank you for asking us to support you through prayer. I am praying for you, Anonymous! I encourage you to read Heidi’s response to you (above) and take her suggestions to heart. I encourage you to read the Word, meditate on it, memorize it and rely on it when you are struggling. Memorizing it so that it is in your head is a great way to prepare in advance for the battles you face. Philippians 4:4-8 is a great place to start. Will you begin memorizing that today? Remember, my friend, God promises that when we are tempted He will provide a way out for us (1 Cor. 10:13). His Word can be your weapon that will enable you to stand under the temptations that you face. I’m asking God to be your strength and courage in the days ahead!
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 4:02 pm
    Thank you SO much for this post! It was really well timed. I've been thinking about this recently, not because I am lesbian or because I even know anyone personally who is, but because I know born-again Christians who support it. And because in the past passages of Scripture have been interpreted as, say, encouraging slavery or putting women as inferior to men, I've wondered if the idea that homosexuality is wrong is just like those - an incorrect interpretation. But the verses you posted are clear on the issue: homosexuality is a sin. I've heard the arguement that a hundred years from now, homosexuality will be perfectly accepted and no one will be against it, and I've wondered it that's true - if maybe we're just "behind". But once again, God's Word speaks so, so clearly!

    Praying for anyone struggling right now, and thanks for the post. :)
    Re: lia
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 5:10 pm
    I don't think God will hold that against you. I think it's kind of like asking if someone that was raped is still a virgin. It wasn't something that you wanted so I don't think you're "guilty".
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 5:16 pm
    So I have this close friend of mine who is bisexual and she knows that im Christian, usually there is a conflict amongst the two but most of the time I avoid talking to her about it. I have never clearly stated that I don't support her ways but I have a feeling that it'll come up soon; she's going to want a strait up answer and I don't know how to say it without her flipping out on me and possibly losing our friendship. Any advice?
    @Kaylee S. Smith
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 6:10 pm
    God's little princess
    Re: to emily and t
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 7:02 pm
    thanks guys for the help! :)
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 7:17 pm
    To all you girls struggling with this sin, I am praying for all of you! Keep fighting! Keep praying! Keep reading God's Word!
    Love, Mandie <3
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 7:21 pm
    So I have a friend who's not a Christian and is bisexual. I've tried explaining to her how it's wrong but she's not willing to change. I've been trying to lead this girl to Christ for a while now and she just won't budge. I care about her and I don't want her to go to hell when she dies. Is there any advice?
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 7:36 pm
    I think if you've tried to bring her to Jesus, and she refuses to listen, then there's honestly nothing more you can do. You've planted the seeds, now it's up to God to make them grow. Two important things:
    1) PRAY PRAY PRAY for her
    2) Don't shove "God stuff" down her throat. I go to a public school, so I have some atheist friends, and they seem to be more open to hearing what I have to say when I don't get all up in their faces and Jesus-freak on them. If people ask you, then give them your honest opinion of what you think of Christianity, but don't look for trouble.
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 7:54 pm
    Thanks for the great post! I believe Jesus can break the sin of homosexuality if you really want him to. I use to be a pansexual, meaning gender didn't matter, but characteristics did. I'm glad I am free of this sin.
    C.Jazzy101-My Thoughts
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 10:34 pm
    Wow! Finally, someone else is taking a stand against homosexuality!

    I am not a homosexual at all, I believe it's sinful and morally wrong, and sinful. We are not born as a homosexual it's a sin. It's a choice. I had a huge argument about this in high-school.... I was the only one who disagreed with it. It was a very valuable lesson I learned and to stand up for my faith.

    I have never struggled with this issue. Usually when that happens, it's because of the lack of love from home, or someone tells them that.

    I was afraid to be in a relationship with guys for as long as I can remember. But I have the choice to face my fears and in God's timing to break that fear and be in love with the right man some-day.

    @C.Jazzy101-My Thoughts
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 10:59 pm
    You took the words right out of my mouth! thanks you LYWB!!
    So encouraging....
    on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 11:56 pm
    Oh you guys, this post brought tears to my eyes!!!! I love to see that Jesus redeemed lives that used to believe homosexuality was right. I'm so glad for LYWB and y'all who fight for the truth!!! Praise God for His work!!
    Allexsis Margaret
    on Friday, January 25, 2013 at 11:30 am
    I met this girl last year, and when we met she told me that she was a Christian, and in most ways, she acted like one.

    Well a few months ago I learned that she was bi/lesbian, and that she had converted to a Buddhist and Satan worship.
    We had a whole 'debate' on Christianity/Buddhism, 'what's your proof', 'why do you believe that', etc.
    I feel so terrible that she's slipped away from God, but I honestly don't know how to get through to her. I'm afraid she'll just turn me away or change the subject or something. :(

    I also have a friend who says he used to be religious, but a few years ago something (he didn't specify what) happened that makes the subject of religion painful for him to talk about. He also said that he gave up on God. He basically told me not to bring up religion around him, or he wasn't going to be my friend anymore.
    I hate watching my friends fall like this.

    She will just change the subject or argue with me, and He won't even let me bring it up.
    I've been called a Jesus Freak and a Bible Thumper by them.

    I've tried talking about it with them, but it backfired both times.
    I think there's a verse somewhere that says something about like if you see someone and you know that they're lost and if you don't witness to them, their blood is on your hands...
    Can anyone tell me what verse that Is exactly, and maybe give me some advice?

    ~ Lexi
    on Friday, January 25, 2013 at 12:07 pm
    I do know what verse you're talking about, but i cannot think of the reference. Pray for them, don't shove it down their throats. I can honestly say maybe you should take a step back, say hi or things like that but they aren't exactly the type of people that you'd want to hang out with because they can bring you down. The bad person is more likely to pull down the good person, not the other way around. Again, in the Bible it does say that. You've done what you can. People sometimes just quit, they were never really into it. Sometimes things happen and it causes a person to fall. As long as you've tried to steer them in the right direction than that's what counts. Since you've tried, it's not in your hands anymore, it's in theirs. If you have not tried than it would be in yours, but you have and that's all you can do. You can't make someone do anything. Pray for them!
    Dearest Margaret!
    on Friday, January 25, 2013 at 12:22 pm
    Be a witness by your friendship. Your love and acceptance is a open door for Christ. Ask God for the right opportunities to speak for him. Also ask him for a verse to share and the courage to speak up. Don´t forget to rely on the holy spirit. You can´t talk someone into becoming a Christain. Remember that it´s the holy spirit who draws people to Christ-not you. Trust the holy spirit to work in the person´s heart (see John 15:26; 16:7-11) I´m praying for you and your friends girl! Don´t give up, I know how it is to be called a Jesus-Freak- you´re not the only one so keep looking up to Jesus.

    PS: I´m German that´s the cause of my mistakes -if you find any;p
    on Friday, January 25, 2013 at 12:30 pm
    Good post! This is such a good opportunity to share my beliefs with others. Anyway, you have a wonderful day!
    PS: I wish I could be in the States... just so homesick after all my friends there
    A bit lengthy
    on Friday, January 25, 2013 at 2:14 pm
    I'm not trying to bash anyone, but to hear persons say thank God they have never struggled with this sin for some reason does not settle well with me. To me it is almost like someone saying "I struggle with fornication, but thank God I don't struggle with homo/bisexual fornication!" Fornication is fornication be it hetero/homo/bi/pansexual, it is still fornication, more over it is still sin. James 2:10-11 "(10) For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.(11) For he that said, Do not commit adultery, said also, Do not kill. Now if thou commit no adultery, yet if thou kill, thou art become a transgressor of the law." I agree, I may sound a bit extreme, but like I said when I started that statement has never sat well with me. I'm not trying to be holier than anyone; so please don't receive what I've said that way. I just think we need to work towards ridding ourselves of that portion of our mentality.

    With that being said and actually addressing the top: 6 months ago to my godmother's funeral as her pastor gave the sermon and he got to her character and what everyone had to say about her and how nice of a person she was, the spirit lead him away from what would be considered a normal funeral sermon. Eventually, he came to the subject of "sin" and our sinful nature. He said that yes he was born a womanizer, an adulterer, a murderer, a fornicator, a homosexual, a bisexual, a rapist, a liar, a thief, etc. because he was born in sin and these are all sins. But, the Word say in 2 Cor. 5:17 "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." As most people like to point out we are only humans and are not perfect. Yes, this is true, but when we ask God into our hearts and lives and are washed in the blood of His son Jesus Christ who IS PERFECT, we are to now strive for perfection. So, if and when we read the Word of God and it says "If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads." Leviticus 20:13 there is NO misinterpreting that. But, thankfully Christ came and died in our place so we won't have to be put to death if we find ourselves struggling with this particular sin. The fact that He would die for us so we won't have to, is a great statement in and of itself. Why would He come and die such horrible death if He didn't think we are 1: worth it and 2: that we can actually live a life outside of these things that He knew we'd face, which is why He said we are to cast our burdens on Him.

    On another note, for those wondering whether they've gone too far or will they be forgiven, if we ask with a sincere heart He will hear and forgive us. There are things that I myself have done and have cosigned and encouraged in terms of my friends actions, looking back that I am not proud of and had struggled with. But, once I got into His word and it finally clicked that yes God does love me that much and did look beyond my faults and still loves me unconditionally. It is only after coming to acceptance with that that I was able to understand the scripture of Matt. 12:31-32 "(31) Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men. (32) And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come." So, search yourselves and if you have not blasphemed against the Holy Ghost, know that there IS forgiveness and salvation available for all other sins. I know among most church folk homosexuality is made out to be about the greatest sin, but please do not allow "MAN's" judgement to cause you to lose out on your blessings.

    I say this because I have friends who have been negatively affected by rumors of "suspected" homosexuality. They were looked down on for years and in doing so the church folk placed stumbling blocks in these young men way; which also meant that their ministries were affected and slowed down-put on a leash of sorts...all on (and I once again emphasize) suspected homosexuality. Since having witnessed the affects of rumored homosexuality, I can only imagine what someone who is an open homosexual have to face when dealing with the church. We hurt our own way to often instead of helping them.

    Know that if you stick with the Lord, constantly seeking His face, His grace you will be okay and overcome. Also, you have friends here on LYWB and we are standing in prayer and agreement with you that someday you will be able to stand and testify that yes you were once an homosexual but have been delivered by the Lord
    on Friday, January 25, 2013 at 2:29 pm
    I have learned this the hard way with my own brother over this very issue. He has stopped living the gospel because he believes homosexuality isn't a sin (he himself is straight). We use to argue and argue, and I tried so hard to convince him because I want him to be happy. I prayed and prayed and finally God had to be blunt with me that I was not part of his plan to save my brother. I was commanded to step down, but reassured that my brother was guided on a path and God was mindful. The Lord gave me so much hope- (even though it feels awful to hear him believe so many lies.) He is so angry at Christianity right now. And its so hard to bite my tongue, but God has told me my contention was not of him, and I don't seem to be able to discuss his beliefs without being frustrated- so I must not discuss it. I must just "be still and know that God is God". I hope that helps.

    I also want to say that as a heterosexual, I am not devoid of understanding homosexuality. With this sex saturated world, its hard not to be hit with reactions when confronted with sexually amped images (which we can strive to avoid, but can hit us anywhere). I think some people get hit with these and panic and obsess with "what if I'm gay!?!?" thoughts. I just want to say straight people can have gay thoughts too. Don't own them, dismiss them as quickly as you would any impure thought, and DON'T STRESS! Satan is gonna try his full arsenal against you- but there is no need to panic when you wear the armor of God.
    on Friday, January 25, 2013 at 2:41 pm
    Thank you thank you thank you for speaking for those poor "suspected gays". I went to school with a guy like that and, yes, it may be asking far too much maturity of 12 year old boys to not shun the other 12 year old boy who was trying to peep them, but this boy tried for years in our small town to fix the problem that nobody was willing to tackle head on, but that everyone knew about. Now, he (who use to be a sweet kid) looks all freaked up and his boyfriend looks mean and scary. I worry that he is very self-destructive now. We definitely put up stumbling blocks for effeminate guys and struggling same sex attracted people. Amen AH.
    on Friday, January 25, 2013 at 5:11 pm
    Oh my goodness u don't know how timely this post is. Praise God!
    Yesterday, can't give all the details
    Well we reached an all out friendly debate on homosexuality. . . Long story but could you pray for me and my sibling for us to really be understood? That we don't hate gay people but do think its a sin?
    to AH
    on Friday, January 25, 2013 at 8:40 pm
    I just had to comment. what you said is so true. Like my Aunt Grace always says, "the ground is level at the foot of the Cross." It doesn't take ONE more drop of Jesus' blood to save a person with homo/bisexual tendencies than me
    To "me"
    on Sunday, January 27, 2013 at 5:25 am
    Thank you, that was exactly what I needed to hear :) "it doesn't take one more drop of Jesus' blood..."
    TO: Jen
    on Sunday, January 27, 2013 at 10:10 am
    Praying for you and your siblings!
    on Sunday, January 27, 2013 at 5:55 pm
    So here's the thing... I've been working and praying really hard to become straight for the longest time. I finally became 'straight' about a year ago. I dated this guy Jimmy and I thought I loved him. But a good chunk of time into our relationship, I started having feelings towards girls again. I didn't want to believe it at first. But when my best friend pointed out that I talked about this girl Ericka all the time and said that she thought I might love her, I didn't believe her. I dated Jimmy for a few more weeks, but it didn't take much thought to realize that yes, I did like Ericka a lot more than I did Jimmy. Because I tried to change myself (and I think I did for awhile), it somehow came back to bite me in the butt and the feelings towards girls I had from before seem to be twice as strong as they used to. I caught-and still catch- myself thinking about her all the time. I prayed for it to go away at first. I told God if this wasn't His will for me, to make it go away. The feelings didn't. Even though I did try very, very hard.
    Not long after I broke up with Jimmy (because I didn't think I was being fair to him), I found out that Ericka liked me back. I prayed even harder that her feelings would go away because it made it harder for me to say no. That didn't work. And it's not exactly easy for me to avoid her...we have most of the same friends and we live in the same neighborhood. So when that didn't work, I started praying that God would use this situation to either be a positive experience, or to teach me a lesson. I told God that I was going through with dating Ericka, but if He didn't want this to happen, to find a way to tear us apart. I'm really bad at reading cues from anyone, so I told Him to make it obvious.
    We've been dating for 3 weeks and I have yet to see any sign of God saying "I don't want you to do this". I care about her so very much. I feel for Ericka probably 100x more than what I felt for Jimmy. And she makes me so happy. I'm happier than I can remember. Wouldn't God want that for me?
    It is easy to say that homosexuality is totally wrong if you haven't lived through it. It really does hurt when you say it's basically all in our heads, especially when we don't believe it is. Having little or no attraction to males is all we know, and no one can know what that's like unless they live it.
    By all means, pray for me on this. I do want what God wants for my life. If that means giving up Ericka, I think I'd be willing to do it. I think I'm at a place where I'm questioning whether or not the Bible is all chalked up to be (don't get me wrong though. I love the Bible. It's my favorite book). Mostly because I've been taking a lot of Theology/Religious Studies classes and they encourage us to do heavy research, and some things don't line up. So do pray for me! I'd appreciate that.
    Ally Elisha
    Re: Becky
    on Sunday, January 27, 2013 at 8:49 pm
    *hugs* I'll be praying for you!

    I wish I had some advice or verses for your situation and struggles, but I can't say that I do.. But you'll be in my prayers! :)
    Re: Becky
    on Sunday, January 27, 2013 at 9:53 pm
    Hey girl. I will definitely be praying for you! I struggle with liking girls too and recently I've been undergoing a lot of similar things. Jesus can work through all things and I believe it! (But I know from personal experience it's easier said than done.)

    Sister in Christ,
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    on Sunday, January 27, 2013 at 11:00 pm
    Ugh! I am so sorry to hear how you were violated when you were too young to understand. Take note that when you have those inner cautions, stop anything until you have had opportunity to find out why the caution is there.

    Certainly the innocence of purity was lost, and it will be harder to keep a pure heart and mind because of what happened.Virginity is defined as "the state of one who has never had sexual intercourse."

    God bless you, lia.
    on Sunday, January 27, 2013 at 11:37 pm
    I was born and raised into the church, but for many many years I have struggled with bisexuality. I hate feeling like I am a disappointment to God. I have prayed about it. I feel like I can not talk to any one about it, not even my closest friends. I know that if I were to bring this up to my parents, they will treat me completely different. I just feel so lost. I don't want to be denied the kingdom of heaven because I am bi, when I absolutely love God. I don't know what to do.
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    @God's little princess...
    on Sunday, January 27, 2013 at 11:48 pm
    You might consider the message of this post by Dannah Gresh as you look for answers to your questions:
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    on Sunday, January 27, 2013 at 11:56 pm
    Have prayed for you and your sister just now ~ for the request you made. Thanks for posting and giving us opportunity to pray! God bless you!
    @ Lucy; Marissa; Becky; Anonymous - I love Jesus But
    on Monday, January 28, 2013 at 7:15 am
    Thank you Erin for an insightful post and for addressing a complex issue in truth and in love.

    As I prayed for you young ladies some thoughths came to mind:

    You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. 1 John 4:4

    I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

    He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:30

    God's will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. 1 Thessalonians 4:3

    Thank you for opening your hearts and sharing your struggles. I praise God that you love Him and express your sincere desire to please Him and live in His will. God knows and understands your struggle - ask Him to use your situation and struggle to bring glory to Him.

    One way to do this is to ask and pray that He increase your desire to love Him more. Our sinful nature does not ordinarily desire God, therefore there are times when we ask God to extend our faith and love so that we can walk closer with Him.

    It might be wise to fast too. If the Spirit leads you to fast keep it simple, like giving up chocolate or favorite food. When craving the particular food, let His word feed you and that craving and meditate on Scripture instead- Matthew 4:4

    Remember that you are not alone and that God loves you - His grace is sufficient and he will bring you through. Also, when we love God and desire to please Him, the enemy can use sin to attack out spritual lives. Ask the Lord if your struggle with your sexuality is an attack of the enemy. In this case it can remove the guilt you may feel and allow you to shine Christ's light on the situation.

    Know that "the Lord is faithful; he will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one." 2 Thessalonians 3:3

    Consider this prayer:
    "In this particular circumstance I must make room for Christ. He must increase, and I must decrease. It must be filled with His presence, and the happening must now and hereafter be fragrant with His grace." John Henry Jowett
    I will pray
    on Tuesday, January 29, 2013 at 6:41 pm
    It breaks my heart that young women are struggling with homosexuality! It's sooooo sad! Our bodies are made for men not women! If God wanted us to be with a women he would have made our bodies capable to produce children with women but we can't are bodies only respond to a man!
    I am praying for everyone who is having problems with homosexuality!
    Another Thing...
    on Wednesday, January 30, 2013 at 1:14 pm
    @Marin you are correct, it is very heartbreaking and sad that our young ladies (and young men) are struggling with homosexuality and sexuality on a whole...One of the things I'd like to see is the church becoming proactive in the area of sex education. Too often the church just says don't have premarital sex it is a sin and displeases God. But, where that worked before it won't work in today's world 90% of the time. I say this because I grew up in the church, actually love going to church from I know myself, and love God beyond description; however I still found myself in sexual relationships that I knew were wrong. I was not interested in committed relationship, for me it was just about sex and I wanted lots of it. When on my way driving to spend the night with a guy, I used to be praying for God to go with me and take me there and back home safely, saying "God, I know this is wrong..." and even in the process I knew I should've turned the vehicle around, but didn't. That was a struggle for me even after testing positive for HPV and further testing of my cervix showed precancerous cells. Sex was a struggle, until I started speaking to my pastor and constantly prayed about it. It wasn't until I stopped and had a real conversation with myself and said "you have to do better, no matter how much you want it, you can't. The youths look up to you. It is time to lay the hypocrisy aside and live the life you sing about." I work closely with the youth department and a few things happened that woke me up to the danger I was not only putting myself in, but them as well. I was going in church talking to the youths and being sort of a big sister to them and not living a Godly life. Running the risk of passing on my evil spirits to them. I prayed and prayed for the Lord's help and not only has He given me the strength to overcome my struggle with sex, but has also healed me of my HPV and thankfully I've never tested positive for any other STDs. This year May will give me 2yrs sex free (would've been 4 in Aug. if I did not mess around at the end of April early May of 2011). I said all this to say that, I knew I had a problem, but didn't know who to turn to. I had told my mother about the HPV, but was never comfortable voicing my struggle with sex. The HPV was easily thrown off on a guy who I had actually finally fallen in love with and found out he was seeing other females of likewise bad sexual behavior as myself. Eventually, in that conversation I had with myself, I admitted to myself that I don't know who I got it from.

    Church is the place I go to for peace, but I didn't know how to go to the church about this problem until I admitted that I will be dead in a few short years if I don't stop. How can I freely go to someone about a problem if I don't know how they'll look at me after telling them my deepest darkest secrets, that was my delay in seeking spiritual help.

    As Rachel said, this world is saturated with sexual images and contents and hard to avoid them, since they are every where. I'm not saying the church have to make every sermon or youth meeting about sex, however it need to be placed on the same level of importance as peer pressure, drugs, and alcohol. Many time when sex is mentioned in church it is linked to peer pressure, when it is not the case. Many young persons choose sex as a way out just as others choose drugs or alcohol, without any influence of their friends. Once again, I'm speaking from personal experience. Making matters worse I preferred men in already committed relationships, the longer the relationship-the better, married-it was on and popping, married for a number of years-O MAN!...My point is, sex is a very dangerous weapon that the devils uses, we can become wrapped up, tied up, all tangled up in it before we even realize we're in trouble. The enemy-the devil is not afraid to throw sex into our faces each and every opportunity he gets, but the church shies away from it and don't confront it directly. In our schools our children are constantly being taught "Safe Sex!" that is basically saying, it is okay to have premarital sex as long as you use a condom. What we should be doing instead is taking our children and having in-depth discussions with them, allowing them to ask questions and voice their curiosities and patiently answering the questions to the best of our abilities, and the questions we can't answer, bring in a medical professional to answer and explain. The world tell our young men to take a few condoms and put them in your wallet just in-case, so now every time that young man opens his wallet and sees those condoms it put his mind back on sex, and when an opportunity arises he says to himself I'm prepared. We need to address subjects such as homosexuality and other sexual preferences other than treating them like incurable diseases. Talk to them about pornography. If these subjects are addressed and our youths know they have the support of those around them it makes it easier for them to seek the help they need.

    I am a 25yrs old female, who have for formerly struggled with sex. Yes, I am young but I thank God for His grace and mercies that have brought me through. I am eternally grateful that He showed me the error of my ways and gave me the courage to seek help, before it was too late.
    on Wednesday, January 30, 2013 at 6:46 pm
    I know lesbianism is wrong, and I love Jesus so much, and I do want to find a really sweet guy and get married and have kids... but I still find girls attractive! Not only attractive but fun and nice. I think girls know how to please other girls because we all know what we like... we just want to be loved and held in a loving way but I know this is wrong. Sometimes I just don't want to think about it cause it's so confusing why I have these feelings when I know it's wrong. I am not open about it and I only like girls who are like that. Please pray for me... I truly believe that Jesus is going to heal me!
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    @ Re:
    on Wednesday, January 30, 2013 at 9:10 pm
    I’m proud of you for taking the first step in taking with your friend by thinking through how you should respond to her.

    Erin’s given a number of suggestions in her post: How to Talk to a Friend About Homosexuality

    Praying for you and your friend tonight.
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    on Thursday, January 31, 2013 at 4:35 pm
    Keep praying, Tabby; give God time to work. It’s the Holy Spirit’s job to convict your friend’s heart. You can’t change her, but you can live a life that reflects Jesus and His truth and ask the Lord for wisdom and courage in knowing when and what to share with your friend. If she already knows what you believe it may be that she needs to experience the love of Jesus through you. Ask Him to show you how you can serve her, Tabby. And remember…don’t stop praying! That my friend…is what ultimately brings change in the lives of those we love.
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    @Allexsis Margaret
    on Thursday, January 31, 2013 at 4:40 pm
    I’m sorry you’re friends seem hardened to the gospel; I know how heartbreaking that is. Don’t stop praying for them…daily, Allexsis Margaret! God alone is able to soften their hearts. Your responsibility is simply to love them and ask the Lord to give you ways to serve them and encourage them whenever possible.

    Prayer is the key, my friend! We serve an amazing God who longs to bring living hope to your friends. As you spend time each day connecting with His heart He’ll give you specific ways to love them. And He’ll draw their hearts toward Himself.

    Pray on precious friend… pray on!!
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    @ Becky
    on Thursday, January 31, 2013 at 9:23 pm
    Sweet friend, the question is not if a same-sex relationship is God’s will for you. He has made His will on that matter abundantly clear in His Word. The question is if you will submit yourself to His will - laying aside the sinful desires of the flesh. In her post Is Homosexuality Sin (, Erin says:

    “We are all born with a desire, a tendency, and a capacity to sin. For some the tendency is to abuse substances or to have angry outbursts or to act promiscuously in heterosexual relationships. For others, possibly as a result of family history, environment, and poor choices, the tendency might be to gravitate toward homosexuality.”

    The question is not the depth or “quality” of your love for Erika, but the depth of your obedience to God. If you loved a married man, perhaps it would be a strong, intense, passionate, long-lasting love, but that would not be a reason for disobedience.
    Praying for you tonight, sweet friend! Here’s a story of one who had a similar struggle, but has found freedom in Christ: ( Homosexuality: A Story of Redemption.
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    on Friday, February 1, 2013 at 8:00 am
    Thank you for being honest, Lucy. I want you to know there is hope, precious one. You don’t have to stay in this place of isolation, fear and confusion. Our Lord wants you to experience the fullness of freedom, joy and peace that is the inherited right….because of His blood… of those who belong to Jesus.

    Overcoming our propensity to sin is a battle, Lucy; for all of us. But there is victory. Jesus made sure of that through His death.

    The next step is sharing honestly with a trusted, godly adult. Perhaps your parents, your youth pastor, pastor or the wife of one of your pastors. Lucy, it is the enemy of your soul who wants you to keep this battle to your soul. The Lord has promised freedom to those who will humbly admit their struggle with sin to another (James 5:16).

    Know you are being prayed for today, Lucy. May this be the weekend you take the first step toward the glorious freedom that is yours because of Jesus.
    on Saturday, February 2, 2013 at 2:44 pm
    how odd... I guess I have sortof had what some ppl would call "gay/lesbian" tendencies before, actually all through my growing up years, but I guess I never really thought about it or realized it till now. (I'm twenty.) I guess i'm not really alarmed though, because, I figure, you don't have to act on them just because you feel it or whatever. And my mom told me that its normal to be aware of that sort
    of thing when you're growing up. But yeah, when you dwell on thoughts like that it is sin, and you need to confess it, at least to God, I don't know. Anyway, I don't know why I wrote that, but...I guess I just wanted to say that its normal to be aware of that kind of thing esp. when you're growing up and just because you have those kinds of thoughts doesn't mean youre "weird" or "gay". Which, according to God, by the way, no one really is. I hope I'm making sense...
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    on Saturday, February 2, 2013 at 6:13 pm
    You do seem to be confused. I encourage you, Kaylee, to talk with your mom or your youth pastor's wife, or Sunday School teacher, etc., in order to find help at this time of developing your thoughts and feelings. You want to learn to take your thoughts captive from "going there" with your affections for other girls. Take action and live with a pure thought life. The Scriptures tell us to guard our hearts (minds) with all diligence because our heart/mind sets the course of our life.
    on Saturday, June 22, 2013 at 7:05 pm
    I am sorry but it makes m physically ill that it is though that lesbianism/homosexuality is a choice. It isn't even a subconscious one, and it is found in other species besides humans, as well as studies that show genetics do have something to do with it. I think that love, respectful, deep, honest love is never a sin. Not between two people of a different gender or two people of the same gender. I would also like to see a passage where Jesus himself condemns homosexuality, not just old testament or Paul.
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    on Tuesday, June 25, 2013 at 12:07 pm
    You are correct, Alaska, in your understanding that we are all born sinners (Romans 3:9-12). When we, as sinners, embrace the gift of Christ’s work for us – His life, death and resurrection – He breaks the power of sin in our lives (Romans 6). Sin no longer has the power to control us. Now, as Christ-followers we choose whether we will give into the desires of our flesh (sin) or walk in the freedom that is our because of Jesus.

    I think you’ll find the message of this post by Dannah Gresh helpful in understanding how this plays out in those struggling with same-sex attraction (

    Grace and peace,
    "Struggling with homosexuality?"
    on Friday, July 12, 2013 at 5:25 pm
    It makes me angry to hear these words. Struggling with people who don't accept you as you were born and always will be, maybe. Anyone who thinks that homosexuality can be "cured" is full of... It doesn't need to be cured because it's not an illness. Stay strong, girls!
    Last Edit: on Monday, July 15, 2013 at 9:48am by cgaul  
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    on Tuesday, July 16, 2013 at 8:50 pm
    We’re glad you’re here, Zanna. The “illness” you and I and all humanity share is called sin. Sin is rebellion against God. It’s opposition to God’s ways. Someone has said well, “Sin is a crime against God Himself.” It is not simply that we commit various sins; it is that we are, at the core of our being, sinful. That’s really bad news when we consider that the penalty for our sin (every sin…wrong thoughts, motives, attitudes, actions etc.) is spiritual death – separation from God for all eternity. That’s what you and I both deserve because we are sinners.

    But God, Zanna. God’s love for you and for me is beyond measure. He doesn’t want us to suffer the punishment for our sins. He wants a relationship with us. He wants to lavish us with His love and grace both in this life and for all eternity. So He paid the price, personally, for our sin. Through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus He made it possible for you and me to have a relationship with the living God. He’s all about life and hope, freedom and joy.

    Jesus said He came for those who are “sick” (sinful) and not for those who will never admit their sin-sickness.

    Grace and peace to you today ~
    on Tuesday, September 17, 2013 at 7:20 pm
    So; it is claimed that homosexuality is a sin. Sin is specifically human because god created us in his image, (though we abused free will and fell into sin). Animals, however, are in a different category. Yet, homosexual tendencies are found in animals. Bats and koalas are known to have homosexual tendencies, though animals have no inclination, whether conscious or subconscious to sin. Therefore; homosexuality is an ingrained trait within out genetics as a mammal, since the only thing that removes us from animals is self awareness and thumbs.
    Also what is the general consensus here on trans people?
    on Tuesday, September 17, 2013 at 7:32 pm
    Also, what about other sexual preferences besides just lesbianism? Like pansexual, asexual, sapiosexual, etc.
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    on Wednesday, September 18, 2013 at 12:00 am
    Sex was designed for one man and one woman in a marriage relationship. Any deviation from this is sin. As with all propensities to sin, a believer must choose to act in purity. "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity... because these are improper for God's holy people." (Eph. 5:3)
    "Flee from sexual immorality." (1 Cor. 6:18)
    on Monday, September 30, 2013 at 7:15 pm
    I don't think you really understand what I mean... in the sexualities that I listed, gender has little to do with those. Pansexual is loving and being attracted to someone, regardless of their gender. Asexual is not being sexually attracted to anyone, so is having absolutely no inclination to sex sexual immorality?
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    on Monday, September 30, 2013 at 11:14 pm
    I will let you make the determination as to whether different sexualities are sin. Let the "plumb line" of Scripture be your guide (Amos 7:7-8). The biblical truth is: "Sex was designed for one man and one woman in a marriage relationship. Any deviation from this is sin."

    (So, "having absolutely no inclination to sex" would not be practicing sex outside of marriage--a one man, one woman covenant relationship.)
    God is my father!
    on Tuesday, October 1, 2013 at 12:36 am
    Lesbianism is sin. So is lying and stealing. People that have this problem need help from a pastor or spiritual leader just as everyone else does with their sin(s). I totally agree; it is right inside the bible as an abomination. (NKJ, Leviticus 18:22) What should I do or act like if I ever meet one?? Help please.
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    @God is my father...
    on Wednesday, October 2, 2013 at 7:37 pm
    How do you act when you meet a lesbian? The same way you act when you meet someone that uses God's name in vain; the same way you act when you meet someone that is immoral with her boyfriend; the same way you act when you meet someone that cheats on tests--Ephesians 4:32 "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." Matthew 5:16 "Let your light so shine before others, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in Heaven."
    Some insight
    on Monday, October 14, 2013 at 10:41 pm
    Hey there everyone. I actually posted this on the old post yesterday and after realizing that this is the newer one, I want to post here again. After reading all these horrible responses that the staff here have given you, I would like to share my opinion. But first I want to ask the staff this: it seems that you are avoiding some of the questions that people are asking/convicting evidence they have. For example, it was either on this post or another one about homosexuality, someone brought up that there are gay tendencies in animals and you just replied with just about the same thing that you said to everyone else. Dear sisters, being gay is wrong. You are not born with it. Now go change yourself and ask god for forgiveness.
    How do you see this as the right thing to say? People have strong opinions based on, most likely, way more experience and interactions with gay people than you. The Bible's translations can be very cloudy at times and though it may seem like it's not, I have a very hard time believing that God would choose people to give this "struggle" to while not putting it upon others. Why would he chose to make some people's lives easier than others. Also, a lot of people on here are really offensive whether you realize it or not. By saying that being gay is gross, or praising god for changing people's thinking is so rude. I literally cringe at how horrible the things people say on here are. Is it that hard to respect other people's opinion rather than pitying them and telling them to keep fighting? It's so easy for you to tell us to keep fighting when you aren't actually in the situation. Let me tell you my story.
    So I believe I was born bisexual. I've had no neglect at home or anything that would make me want to be that way. Everyone in my family looks down upon it and no one knows I'm this way except for a few of my friends who totally love me for it. When I came to the realization (about 3 years ago) that I was this way, I told my boyfriend who completely accepted me for it, having the same viewpoints as me on it. I really don't know how I would have gotten through my first couple months after coming out without him. People act like its so easy to just train yourself not to be gay or bi or whatever you are, but it just feels so natural! I didn't teach myself to like girls. It just happens. A while ago I actually had sex with a girl who had been friends with me since we were little kids, and I really didn't even like her. It was not a good experience as we didn't talk after that. But if I wasn't born gay, wouldn't it have felt unnatural to do so, and even if I'm sad for losing a friend, I don't feel guilty for that reason. After this, I had a struggle for a while with losing her, but I never was repulsed by girls even after this. That alone is proof to me that I was born with it. I'm in a very happy relationship with a guy now, and I don't need girls to be happy, but if I wasn't dating him, I really think I would have to just peruse girls. For some reason, all guys but my boyfriend really make me sick the way they treat girls. What I'm saying is that you can't tell people how they need to keep fighting and discourage them by telling them they're unnatural when they clearly have had these feelings for a long time. Now I struggle with Christianity a lot. I wouldn't really consider myself a Christian because I don't want to turn into what I've seen here on this blog, but growing up in a Christian home and feeling like I was worthless because of how I was made was really hard. I get it. Now I accept myself and love myself. I don't have to be hard on myself for just thinking that a girl passing by is cute. Thanks for reading guys, please think about what I've said.
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    on Tuesday, October 15, 2013 at 2:17 pm
    Thanks for sharing your heart, maddie. We’re grateful for the opportunity to address the argument that same-sex relations in the animal world proves that same-sex desire is natural.

    The reality is that same-sex sex in other species is extremely rare. If same-sex sex were truly physiological or genetic it would ultimately eliminate the existence of that particular species. In addition, the animal kingdom provides numerous “natural” practices that are not practiced nor embraced by those created in the image of God, maddie. For instance, in certain insects the male, after impregnating the female, is then eaten by that same female. A newly born male hippo will often be killed by its own herd out of fear that it will grow and become powerful and take over the herd.

    The Word of God must be our plumb line, my friend. God is the Creator of all things. He created sexual intimacy as a gift to be enjoyed between a man and his wife. Anything other than that defiles the gift and grieves the heart of the Gift Giver who so deeply loves those He created.

    You are not worthless, precious friend. You are lavishly and fiercely loved by the One who created you!! Praying today that you will come to know the depth of the Savior's relentless love for you.

    Grace and peace ~
    Seeking God
    on Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 3:35 pm
    Hi, LYWB,
    I am nervous just posting on here, but I desperately need Godly advise as my heart's first desire is to seek God in all things. I have never had a boyfriend (and definitely not a girlfriend), meaning guys and relationships are pretty foreign to me. I still believe in God's intent for marriage and sexuality, but in the past year have greatly questioned my sexuality and have been consumed at times by it. I have never really "liked" a guy enough to date him, but have had crushes on girls before (and am fighting this currently, although I've never pursued anything and intend to keep it that way). I didn't really realize that they were crushed and lust until recently. I just recently moved away from my hometown to go to college and loneliness (and a lot of time to think) has made it worse. I have been drawn to tears recently asking God why in the world I feel these things, I am His child and love Jesus dearly! I need prayer, foremost. I also appreciate any Godly wisdom you may be able to provide. I know that God designed sex and marriage for a man and a woman. I just don't understand why I don't feel as attracted to men as maybe "I'm supposed to." I don't want to be so confused and I just can't overcome my thoughts sometimes.
    Thank you for reading and blessings to you.
    I am grateful for your words, as my friends and family can't ever know my struggle.
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ Elle
    on Monday, October 28, 2013 at 3:10 pm
    First of all, thank you, Elle, for trusting us enough to come to us with your questions and concerns. I am so sorry you are struggling with your sexual thoughts and identity. Our enemy can use our loneliness to tempt us to find our needs met in places other than Christ. He is the only one who can meet our deep heart needs. I’d like to encourage you to pick up the book “Restoring Sexual Identity: Hope for Women Who Struggle with Same Sex Attraction” by Anne Paulk. You can find it at It will give you solid information about your temptations and the way through them.

    If you haven’t already done so, I encourage you to get connected with a local Bible teaching church in your area. It would be good for you to have someone older and wiser to confide in as you battle. The pastor there may be able to suggest someone to meet with - someone who can pray with you, encourage you, keep you pointed toward Jesus and hold you accountable by asking the hard questions.

    In the mean time, I encourage you to run to God and His Word anytime you are tempted. Memorizing Scripture will be a great tool for you to use in this battle. When you are tempted, the verses are right there in your mind so that you can fight your temptations. Philippians 4:4-8 is a great place to begin.

    I want you to know that I have prayed for you today, Elle, and am asking God to strengthen your resolve to believe that His Word is true and His ways are the best ways; I’m asking Him to guide you to a local body of believers where you can have the benefit of fellowship and godly friends; and I’m asking Him to use this temptation and struggle to draw you into a deeper more personal relationship as He leads you through to victory (2 Cor. 2:14). May God fill you with hope (Rom. 15:13).
    on Monday, November 18, 2013 at 9:20 pm
    Asexuality is not abstaining from sex outside of marriage, it is having no physical or psychological inclination towards sexual activity of any kind. Man, woman, married, not married. It isn't a choice, it is not having a sex drive.
    Maddie and some insight
    on Monday, November 18, 2013 at 9:24 pm
    I really liked your post Maddie, and to tell true I am bisexual as well. It is natural, and I've known for a long time that I was attracted to both men and women, thought I tend to stick with cisgender in both cases.
    i need prayer
    on Sunday, December 8, 2013 at 2:19 pm
    im in sin cuz i am bi and have had many gf even tho i new it was wrong i need prayer to get over this sin and the sin of sexual sin i struggle a lot i was raised in a christian house but am a sinner and need prayer
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    @ I need prayer
    on Monday, December 9, 2013 at 3:18 pm
    Thank you for sharing honestly the struggle you are in, friend. I am grateful for the opportunity to pray for you today.

    We are all sinners in desperate need of a Savior, precious one. Though the sins that entangle us may differ the hope and help we need is the same and is only found in Jesus and His glorious gospel of grace.

    When you get a chance I think you’ll be encouraged by this interview. (

    You might also consider Anne Paulk’s book Restoring Sexual Identity: Hope for Women Who Struggle With Same-Sex Attraction.

    Grace and peace,

    “I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you, Do not be afraid… I myself will help you, declares the LORD ( Is. 41:13-14).”
    on Wednesday, May 28, 2014 at 12:57 am
    In the quotes from the bible, it only mentions homosexuality between men. Why?

    Stumbled upon this site, and it nauseates me to see people saying lesbianism is an illness.

    To any ladies who are "struggling" with homosexuality: You are not unnatural. You are not sinful. You are not bad. A just and kind and loving God will not judge you because of your sexual acts, but what kind of person you are. Please, do not deny who you are, or listen to the people telling you that prayer will make you normal again. God made you just the way you are with every NATURAL desire, and you are perfect.
    Different views
    on Friday, May 30, 2014 at 6:23 pm
    Well, I came across this site during my research, I have always been very interested in religion and wish to study as much as possible, I do however find this article deeply disturbing.
    How could you tell young girls that they are 'wrong' and 'sinful' for love? I myself am bisexual and I am proud, your God is supposed to be benevolent no? Then why couldn't He love a homo/bisexual?
    Some of the teachings in the bible i find personally distressing and offensive, however, I do not wish to impede on your beliefs, all I wanted to say is please, PLEASE for the sake of girls like the girl I was when I was 14 and struggling with sexualaity, stop teaching homophobia, that is wrong.
    To look down on another soul because of who they love is wrong, to frighten them with thoughts of damnation is wrong, their love is not.
    Just a plea from a girl who wants to see equality.
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    on Monday, June 2, 2014 at 12:10 pm
    Scripture often uses the word “men” to describe mankind (humankind), L.

    The reality of who we (me, you…all mankind) are apart from Jesus Christ is indeed hard to imagine. We’re spiritually dead – without hope, separated from the God who loves us infinitely more than we could ever even imagine because of our sin.
    But God. The depth, breadth and length of His love for you and me caused Him to act toward us, L. Not in disgust or rejection or denial of our need, but in love. Love that has a name…Jesus.

    Praying you come to know the depth of His love, L.

    Grace and peace,
    on Monday, July 7, 2014 at 4:05 am
    I like guys and girls. It's a choice and you're not born with it. Maybe I'm being misled, but I feel I've been awakened to something bigger than just sitting in a church and agreeing with what a leader tells you. Search for answers of the truth about us and how we were created girls. :) Wake up and have a free love and be happy. It's your choice whether you want to or not though.
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    on Monday, July 7, 2014 at 11:31 am
    It's not "sitting in a church and agreeing with what a leader tells you"'s much bigger than that. It's what the Word of God says. Anything that leads you against what the Bible says is indeed finding yourself "misled". The search for the truth about yourself is found here: "The entirety of Your word is truth, and all Your righteous judgments endure forever." (Ps. 119:160)

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