I Want To Be Noticed!

Erin Davis 02/07/13 | Twitter: @ErinGraffiti
Category: Myself ; 56 comments

"My heart cries for acceptance, for love."

"My heart cry is to be cherished. I want to be loved, really loved."

"My heart's longing is for people to love me. Some days I barely feel noticed, let alone loved."

These are among the many brave comments left under a post Paula wrote weeks ago about the heart cry of one little boy. (Read that post here.) I can relate to every single one of you who feels like you will never be loved enough, cherished enough, or noticed often enough. I've spent much of my life craving human attention and feeling mostly disappointed.

I don't know your stories. I don't know if you really do have anyone who notices you, cherishes you, or loves you. It may be that those needs truly are going unmet by the people in your life. It may also be (and seems more likely) that you are loved deeply, but somehow it just isn't enough for you.

I've seen it before. The stories of several Hollywood superstars come to mind. They have millions of adoring fans. They have people paying to put their smile on magazine covers. They have lots of people telling them how fabulous they are. They are noticed. They are accepted. They are loved, and yet . . . more often than not, they self-destruct. Somehow all the praise in the world just can't fill them up.

leaky bucketI think I know why. For a visual, let's think of our need to be noticed, loved, and accepted like an empty bucket. We think, If I was just loved unconditionally by one person, my bucket would be full, or If more people just noticed me, my bucket would be full, or If someone just truly cherished me, that would fill my bucket up. But we find ourselves disappointed and our buckets empty over and over again.

Here's why:

"For my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water" (Jer. 2:13, emphasis added).

To understand that "fountain of living waters" business, we have to skip ahead in the Bible to Jesus' earthly ministry. In John 4:1–26 we find the story of a woman who really wanted to be noticed. The Bible tells us she jumped from romantic relationship to romantic relationship hoping to satisfy her deepest longings. Been there? Done that? But sadly, she found that looking to guys to scratch her itch to be loved was like pouring water into a leaky bucket.

Jesus looked at her leaky bucket and offered her "living water." His point was that only God could truly satisfy the longings of her heart. Looking to Him to meet our deepest needs is the only way to quench our insatiable thirst for more. More love . . . more attention . . . more compliments . . . more significance.

Think back to that passage from Jeremiah. God is comparing two realities here.

The people of Jeremiah's day had stopped looking to God for their satisfaction. I don't know who or what they were hoping would make them feel okay, but it doesn't matter. The result was like pouring water into a leaky bucket. It just didn't work.

You see the answer isn't to be noticed more often, loved by more people, or cherished more deeply. The answer is to know that God has already noticed you. In fact, He studies you. (Matthew 10:30 says He knows the very number of hairs on your head.) He loves you so much He sent His Son to die for you (John 3:16). He cherishes you like a father cherishes His own daughter (Rom. 8:15).

The trick is to let that be enough—to let the truth about who you are to the God of the universe fill your bucket instead of constantly looking to the people in your world to make you feel noticed.

It's not an easy switch to make. Praise from people seems so tangible sometimes compared to the affirmation we find in God's Word, but ultimately it is just like pouring water into a leaky bucket. It never lifts our spirits for long.

How about you? Have you been pouring water into a leaky bucket? Looking to the people around you to make you feel loved and important? I hate to go all Dr. Phil on you, but how is that working for you?

If your bucket's sprung a leak, let me offer you a patch kit. God alone is able to fill you up and answer your heart's cry. He's the only one offering "living water" that can take away our thirst for good.

I'd like to ask you to make a choice.

Option #1: Leaky bucket.

Choosing this route means continuing to look to other people to make you feel loved, accepted, and cherished. You should know up front that this route never works for long.

Option #2: Living water.

You make the choice to let God satisfy your craving to be loved. You study what He says about you in His Word, and you choose to believe it even if your feelings tell you otherwise.

Which one will you choose? Leave us a comment below to tell us about it.

Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

    Kari
    Thanks
    on Thursday, February 7, 2013 at 4:50 pm
    Thanks for sharing this post. It is just what I needed!
    cassi
    right on topic
    on Thursday, February 7, 2013 at 4:53 pm
    wow, this couldnt be more true in my life, im going through this right now, feeling not loved enough or accepted enough by the people around me, this was want i needed, to be reminded again that God cherishes me and loves me, I want to pour into the living water
    lia
    thanks alot...
    on Thursday, February 7, 2013 at 5:33 pm
    wow this is what i really really needed...i know that there are people who do love me and i know that this sounds terrible, but i've always wanted to be someone's "favorite". and it just seems like everyone has a favorite but it's never me... now i def want to go option #2...and get my security from God rather than all the other etc.
    Mattea
    Re:
    on Thursday, February 7, 2013 at 5:54 pm
    This is just what I needed to hear. I am constantly feeling that I am not good enough for anything. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes...I am fearful of what people think of me and that they will love me..love me the most..I know that sounds selfish. I don't feel thin enough even though deep down inside I know I am the perfect weight. I don't feel beautiful enough.... Even though I know beauty is vain and worthless. Even today I spent hours getting ready for just my grandparents coming over!!! Will you please pray for me??? I want to feel loved and accepted!!! Thanks LYWB!!!!
    Chocolate
    Re:
    on Thursday, February 7, 2013 at 5:55 pm
    Soooo true. It is a choice. It's so easy for me to look to people to love me, but God is the only one that can truly love me. I choose option #2!!
    J
    Re:
    on Thursday, February 7, 2013 at 6:25 pm
    Thank you for this! I know I'm guilty of trying to fill my "leaky bucket" with the compliments and love of others. Each and everytime I am let down when it doesn't fill my desire. I'm so glad you helped remind me that God alone can fill my deepest longings. Thanks again :)
    cheer
    wow
    on Thursday, February 7, 2013 at 6:51 pm
    God definitely put this here for me right now. This is exactly what I have been struggling with. I have been looking to people for satisfaction and they are never satisfying enough for me. I need to get rid of the leaky bucket. I need God's perfect, filled bucket.
    Lu
    Re:
    on Thursday, February 7, 2013 at 7:02 pm
    Wow! God has such perfect timing! I was just feeling sorry for myself because it feels like noone at Church considers me their friend, and then I read this! Thank the Lord!!

    And Lia, I completely understand where you're coming from. I feel like that too often to say. I just need to remember that God loves me just as much as He loves everyone else, and try not to care about the fact that people treat me unfairly. Just be patient, and try to love people in spite of it! :)
    Mattea, I am praying for you!
    Mary
    What I needed
    on Thursday, February 7, 2013 at 8:03 pm
    I am so glad for this post. Its exactly what I needed to read at exactly the right moment.
    This week I've strayed from trusting God with all situations, and I've been feeding off other's admiration and appreciation instead of fueling myself with God's word. Thanks for reminding me that I'm not living for other's to notice, but that Im living for God.
    Ulu
    Re:
    on Thursday, February 7, 2013 at 9:03 pm
    Psalm 118:8 It is better to take refuge in the LORD thank to trust in man.
    Doula@16
    Thank You!
    on Thursday, February 7, 2013 at 9:16 pm
    Thank you so much for you thoughts Mrs. Davis. I really appreciate the verses you gave support what you are saying. There is nothing more convincing than good supporting scripture. I have been struggling with this lately and needed to hear it!
    Anna
    thanks!
    on Thursday, February 7, 2013 at 9:32 pm
    I love this post! Thank you so much. Sometimes I feel left out or 'unloved'. I think many girls are feeling left out like me. I will pray for thoses who do.
    Rachel
    WOW! I was just feeling pretty down over this lie.
    on Thursday, February 7, 2013 at 9:37 pm
    Thank you so stinkin much! This lie can be such a HUGE problem for me. Every now and then, I just start believing it again. Sometimes my bucket gets so dry that I just can't stand it anymore! But the truth will set us free. :) Thank you so, so, so much! God is so good.
    Marissa
    Yes!!
    on Thursday, February 7, 2013 at 10:21 pm
    I wrote in my prayer journal this morning and asked God to challenge me and give me a life that is worth living for Him. I want to be flowing with life and abundant in fruit to him. I asked him to shake my world and give me this life. Well, my weakness hit me hard today: boys. I want to have a date for valentines day. But God is going to be enough for me! I know it! I am not going to be the leaky bucket, but whole and pure! :) I pray all of you ladies have a God centered holiday as well! Jesus is our prince after all!!

    Marissa
    Andie
    Definitely can relate...
    on Thursday, February 7, 2013 at 10:31 pm
    I realize this site is geared towards teens, but at 25 I find many of these topics to be incredibly encouraging, and I'm so grateful to have discovered LYWB. I can sooo relate to this topic. I actually had a conversation with my mother about a year ago about it. I was telling her that I felt unimportant and often times invisible. I didn't feel that I was really a priority to anyone. Unfortunately she couldn't really relate so I walked away from the conversation feeling UNHEARD to top it off. I'd been stressing about it and trying to fix it for myself by finding things to occupy my time more, but that proved ineffective. Sadly enough, the last thing I thought of was to turn to Jesus. It's one thing to hear about how amazing he is but it's another to experience it for yourself. He's so awesome, and beautiful, and generous, and extravagant in his love. I asked him to heal me and comfort me. And he did. I asked him to reveal to me who I am in him, and he did. I asked him to reveal more of his glory to me and he did. He is the sweetest love story ever told and I am so grateful for his endless love, affection, time, and attention.

    God showed me through his word that he loves me and I am important to him. Just the thought of this Great Almighty God of the universe loving me so passionately - never mind the fact that the media tells me I'm not really worth much every day of my life. It blows my mind. He loves me. A lot. He is perfection. Incapable of wrong. The only thing he is incapable of is incapability. And he loves ME! He loves me so much that he promised never to leave me or turn away from me. WHAT??? That's madness. Beautiful madness.

    11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
    Ladies his word is truth. Believe it. Live it. Breathe it. Cling to it. The way you feel now won't be the way you always feel, if you keep seeking him. He will take away all pain. There is NOTHING too hard for him. There is nothing he can't fix, solve, change, bring you through, or out of. He created earth in 6 days. Believe me, he can certainly show you how incredibly adored you are. And he will. I mean, you don't exactly die to save someone you only sorta kinda care about.
    Blue
    Re:
    on Thursday, February 7, 2013 at 11:45 pm
    This is exactly how I feel. I feel so alone all the time. I crave for someone to love me. Just one person. Anyone. I was hurt physically & emotionally back when i lived at home (I'm not going to give the dirty details). I still get so angry and upset sometimes when I think about how, when I needed guidance and love most, instead I was neglected. I was raised inconsistently. I would be deeply hurt in my heart part of the time, but I would be told "I love you" & "you're so beautiful" other times. I know that neglectful & inconsistent parenting is what drove me to sex addiction. I know that's why I hate myself & why it's so difficult for me to make friends. That's why I can't open up emotionally to others bc I'm afraid that they'll hurt me. And I know I need to see a counselor, but I can't bc I feel like a spoiled brat bc I was treated well in a lot of ways in that i had a lot of clothes and things.. & i know that my abuser didn't mean to hurt me.. And all day today I've been crying bc I'm 21-years-old & yet I feel like a little girl inside who wants nothing more than to be loved deeply and held in someone's arms. And im afraid that one day years from now I'll wake up and realize that I'm a fully grown 40-year-old woman who is still single, still never been on a date, still with no friends at all, still hating myself & hurting myself, still the same little girl I've always been. I want God's love to fill me, but can I be honest & say this: it's not the same to have only God's love. I really want someone with skin who can hug me and speak to me plainly & have a conversation with me. How do I let God meet this need when I really want someone to wrap their arms around me & tell me with their voice that they love me? It bothers me when I hear other young Christians complain about their parents bc I would have done anything to have parents who care about my spiritual well-being. I would love to have been able to go to an adult with a problem and expected a loving guidance instead of being made to feel pathetic. And now that I'm older & things are better, there's still no one I can go to with these problems to help me sort it all out. I just feel so needy and pathetic. I just feel stuck in this mess.

    I'm sorry, I've been especially dwelling on this all day today.
    Blue
    Re:
    on Thursday, February 7, 2013 at 11:57 pm
    Btw real lol to the Dr. Phil reference
    Tabby
    I needed this so much today...
    on Friday, February 8, 2013 at 12:38 am
    Thank you so much for this post! I needed it so much! Especially with Valentine's Day coming up I've been feeling really lonely and unnoticed by people... I need to work on letting God be enough.
    anon
    Re:
    on Friday, February 8, 2013 at 1:07 am
    hey I know this is totally off topic, but I really really want to know, which I had a guy I could ask. Do guys have a problem with not too tight fitting flared yoga pants if you're wearing a longer top that covers your butt? I hear alot about guys saying that yoga pants are sexy but its always about the butt so if its covered I figured it would be ok, but now Im uncertain..
    Evelien
    thanks
    on Friday, February 8, 2013 at 4:25 am
    Thank you a lot for the blog. i am not very young any more, but still struggling with this subjest. I know I should'nt put mu trust and hope in people, but I still do. Thanks for reminding me that God is my only hope and that I should trust in Him and let Him fill my "bucket".
    RK
    thanks
    on Friday, February 8, 2013 at 8:06 am
    It really helps. I thought before that I am complete, and didn't know that I am looking for the attention and love from other people. Unconsciously i am beginning to be hunger for attention. Thank you this really helps.

    God bless us all.
    Alexis
    Please Pray!!!!
    on Friday, February 8, 2013 at 8:19 am
    This was the PERFECT comment!!! Omgoodness!! I have been really been struggling with feeling like a third wheel! I'm homeschooled so I don't see my friends a lot but when I do like at basketball practice they have their own conversations and jokes about what happened in school that day while I'm just on the sidelines. Nobody even notices when I'm not there anymore. I take classes at a Christian school but even there they have there own little clicks and never let anyone else join the 'club'Every day I come home and cry to my mom because I feel like I have no friends:( I don't know what to do about it!! I feel SO alone and my friends hurt me a lot and they don't even notice or care. They never even talk to me anymore. It's like I don't even exist and I HATE that feeling. I have really been looking for someone who needs a friend and I have tried pretty much everybody!!! Nobody seems to want to be my friend!! My mom is always saying that she will be my best friend next to God and I love her but she is not always there like at school or anything!! I really need someone my age that I can talk to and just pour out my heart too!! Please Pray!!!!
    Taylor
    Response to anon
    on Friday, February 8, 2013 at 8:34 am
    Anon, about your question. First I would ask myself a couple of questions, #1. What is your motivation for wearing the pants? If you're wearing them to work out in, that's one thing, but if you're wearing them to attract attention, (from guys or gals) then you need to ditch them , litterally. #2. Do you have any doubts about wearing them? If you ever have doubts about what you're wearing, check with you mom, or another older female, and ask for their advice. Sure you may not think your mom is "in style," but she knows how it feels to be your age and want to be "cute." Another way to check is to stand in front of a full length mirror, and bend down, and make sure you can't see straight down your top, and then sit in chair, and make sure your pants don't ride way up. If you're wearing them to work out in, then you've got options. You can also try a different type of sweat pants if you're unsure. Our intent should never be for the approval of others. Especially not guys. Think to yourself, "if Jesus walked in the room right now, would I try to cover myself up, or be ashamed?" If the answer is yes, then you know what you have to do. It should never be our intent as christian girls, to be a stumbling block to guys, christian or not, by wearing what we do. We can most certaintly dress cute and fun, but inmodest is a completly different story. And when it seams as if the whole world is dressing for the approval of others, it's very hard. And especially with exercies clothes, it's hard to find stuff that dosen't look like it's been steamed to your body. You want clothes that will draw attention to you! (more specifically, your face) Not anywhere else. So wear colors that set off your natural beauty, instead of pants that show off your curves. :) Sorry this has gotten to be a lecture. I have just seen girls who try to follow the "trends" and use their clothing to attract attention, and they're never truly happy with ho they look. Dress for Jesus, not for others.

    And as a response to this article, I totally agree! I'm definately taking #2!

    Grow in Grace,
    Taylor
    Taylor
    Response to Alexis
    on Friday, February 8, 2013 at 8:42 am
    Oh my goodness Alexis, I'm having the same problem you are!! I'm homeschooled also, and I see my friends at Choir, and that's all great. But then I go to homeschool honor society, and they won't even talk to me! But I've learned from lots of experience with this happening before. You have to pray, and wait on God. About 6 moths ago, he helped my family find a new church, and also a new friend for me. And she just so happens to be the 24 year old pastor's wife! We've grown to be like sisters in just 6 months, and I love her to pieces. Just be nice to everyone, and keep praying for God to bring a good christian girl to you. She may be a lot older then you, and could be a great mentour! Or she may be a girl younger then you who needs a "big sis." :) Be open to everyone God brings to you. :) I'll be praying for you!
    Grow in Grace,
    Taylor
    Blue
    @Alexis
    on Friday, February 8, 2013 at 8:51 am
    I'm sorry that you feel this way. You seem like a lovely person! I would be your friend! Saying a prayer<3
    andrea
    totally agree
    on Friday, February 8, 2013 at 9:25 am
    Totally what I need right now. I used to struggle really really much with wanting and needing attention from guys but thankfully Jesus has helped me through this.
    Jordan
    Attention from Dad
    on Friday, February 8, 2013 at 11:36 am
    As I have been growing older I see how much girls want attention from guys. And not just looks but a relashenship.Yes I do want that but My dad adopted me about 4 years ago and all I have wanted was to have him give me attention. He is a pastor of an EFC church and there are times where I fell like he is giving more attention to the people than me . There are time where I will cry out to God and ask Him to give a a relashinship with my dad.There are times I feel unnoticed by my family . Please pray that I will trust God with this and tha I will know that my dad does love me .
    Grace L
    Thank You!!!
    on Friday, February 8, 2013 at 2:13 pm
    I am so glad that the Holy Spirit led me to read this post. I know that only God can satisfy the deepest desires of my heart, but I forget that truth so easily. This was just the reminder that I needed. I struggle all the time with believing the lie that having a guy in my life would make me feel full. But only God can do this. I know He is trying to protect my heart.

    "Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation. When his breath departs, he returns to the earth; on that very day his plans perish. Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God, who made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, who keeps faith forever." (Psalm 146:3-6)
    Hannah
    Thank you so much!
    on Friday, February 8, 2013 at 6:19 pm
    Thank you so much, LTYWB! I feel this way a lot, especially since I tend to be-well-nerdy. My "weirdness" tends to not draw people to me, especially girls at church who have known each other since before I was there. The other girls have practically grown up together, and I have never been included in any of their events (i.e. volleyball, softball, youth group). I really feel like nobody wants me because I'm what the world would call "weird". Maybe my "craziness" for boys flows from that. What I mean by "craziness for boys" is that I tend to give away my heart to cute guys who pay any attention to me at all, because I feel a lack of social attention from other places. There are mostly boys in the main event that I and my siblings have participated in for years. I also am homeschooled, so I don't have as many friends as someone in public school might. Thank you so much! I don't want to be a leaky bucket, but living water.
    Hannah
    Re:
    on Friday, February 8, 2013 at 6:25 pm
    Is that normal and what can I do?
    Tabby
    Alexis
    on Friday, February 8, 2013 at 9:21 pm
    I have the same problem! I've been struggling with it less though. I kept praying and crying out to God to give me someone I could talk to and someone to be my friend. I kept trying to have faith that God would do that for me and He did! Just keep believing and praying!
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    @Mattea...
    on Friday, February 8, 2013 at 10:57 pm
    Bless you sweet one. I have prayed for you tonight. How I pray that as you lay your head down tonight God will "fill your heart" and speak peace and grace to your heart. May you know the deep satisfaction of a heart filled with Him. "O God, Your faithful love is so valuable that people take refuge in the shadow of Your wings. They drink their fill of the abundance of Your house; And You give them to drink of the river of Your delights." Psalm 36:8
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    @Blue...
    on Friday, February 8, 2013 at 11:07 pm
    I'm sorry for your distress. The best medicine for you this weekend is to carve out time this weekend and listen to the Revive Our Hearts programs for this week--they speak to your relationship with your parents and the causes of your life troubles. You are looking in the wrong places, Blue--please do take time to listen--it will take you about 2 hours to hear the entire story, but it is intriguing and you won't want to stop listening. Start here: https://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/revive-our-hearts/trying-escape/
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    @Hannah...
    on Friday, February 8, 2013 at 11:21 pm
    Most girls have a tendency to give their heart for attention as Erin stated in the post. What can you do? Erin says, "You make the choice to let God satisfy your craving to be loved. You study what He says about you in His Word, and you choose to believe it even if your feelings tell you otherwise." That means you get out your Bible and make it a part of your thinking. Start by reading Psalm 139 every morning and every evening for a week. Then start memorizing your favorite verses out of that chapter. The emphasis on His Word and how He feels about you will keep you from dwelling on the need for attention. Blessings to you.
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    @anon...
    on Friday, February 8, 2013 at 11:34 pm
    Sounds like you are in a good place by wearing a top that covers. The next best thing to asking a guy--try it on for your mom; she will be able to tell you if your clothing is appropriate. Keep working at it; modesty is worth it!
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    @Alexis...
    on Saturday, February 9, 2013 at 12:08 am
    I have prayed for you that God will send you a sweet friend. Keep looking for a girl that needs your friendship, and until then get a journal and write your thoughts to Jesus, just like He was a friend to talk to. He will be that for you, Alexis. "But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, That I may tell of all Your works." (Ps. 73:28)
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    @Jordan...
    on Saturday, February 9, 2013 at 12:22 am
    Bless you. I wish your dad knew how much you longed for his attention. He most likely feels that his adopting you and giving you security and the basic needs of life shows his love. Continue to pray, sweet one and find someone, a godly adult--your mom, an aunt, a teacher that can pray with you. It's not always easy to share deep feelings, but it would be worthwhile to forward this post to your dad, or print it off and give it to him. He may just not know how to express his love to you, but hearing your desire to be close to him might just be what he needs to move to that place. I am praying for you right now that God will hear and answer your prayers and my prayers for that relationship. Blessings to you!
    Kim
    I choose...
    on Saturday, February 9, 2013 at 2:51 am
    Living Water! I am going to strive to make Him everything, and He will be my satisfaction! thanks so much for that reminder!!
    Annabelle
    This is just the thing I needed to read
    on Saturday, February 9, 2013 at 10:48 am
    I am homeschooled and 18. And have had this problem since my parents took me out when I was in Kindergarden. I had a teacher who would tell me. I was a baby because I colored out side the line. I now this is a lie satan is telling me and when he start I say to my self Psalms 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made marvellous are thy works;and that my soul knoweth right well. Some times it helps ather times it doesn't
    A Challenge
    C.Jazzy101
    on Sunday, February 10, 2013 at 12:05 am
    I needed to hear this as well.
    But I would like to challenge many of you on this. Instead of continuing to bring up the ideas of Hollywood celebrities to make an example why not pray for them and ask God that a revival will come in Hollywood some-day? That those who are being praised by people such as Taylor Swift, Brad Pitt and countless others will come to know the Lord?

    It's been a desire of mine since I was ten to see a revival in Hollywood especially among the Hollywood celebrities. They are hurting people just like you and me. God loves them, lets pray instead of using them as examples. Will you join me in prayer?

    Anyhew, I think I needed this challenge, sometimes I need that affirmation from others to keep going. But it's not satisifying, if I didn't have God then who would I have? I receive the attention from my friends, but sometimes it's not enough mostly from friends. My hope is in God, and I think sometimes I can show it in my class by being out-spoken.

    Thanks for the challenge, it gives me something to think about for myself.

    Blessings!
    Your-sister in-Christ
    dot
    weird question
    on Monday, February 11, 2013 at 3:13 am
    This is a weird question, but I was wondering weather it's a waist of time to try and get lean. Like, muscles and ya know, well, ripped I guess. I know people are like "girls shouldn't be ripped" and I don't mean 'body builder' ripped, I mean, obviously cause girls don't have muscle like guys do, but anyway. The point is, I don't want to spend a lot of time on it if God doesn't think it's important. I know the Bible says bodily exercise profits a little but that it's not as important as godliness. Is it possible for me to be godly and ripped a the same time? I want to be stronger and not be well, shaky when I run/jump. And I know having muscle instead of fat helps that. Is it possible to get toned without it being the most important thing in my life? It seems like those 'fitness' people practically live to work out and eat diet food. I don't wanna waist my life. I just wanna be really fit and strong. What should I do? What does God want me to do? I don't want to do something that's not in His will for me, ya know? Not that I could do it. But ya know, if I'm the only one doing it and it's me by myself trying to do it I'll fail. But if God wants me to be fit, and it's something He wants to help me achieve, that's another thing.

    I used to think that verse 'I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me' thing applied to everything I ever aspired to do. But then I realized that God isn't going to help me do something that isn't right or is pointless/meaningless.

    I feel like I'm fighting God on it... It seems like all the things I get excited about end up being so selfish, I feel dirty and vain asking God to help me do them. I think I just answered my question....

    So, I shouldn't do it, right?

    How can I make my dreams His dreams? I need a 'God's plan for His children' reality check. Working out like a crazy person prob isn't part of that plan. Besides, all that work and no one would ever know cause it's not like I could show anyone my six-pack [if I had one] cause that wouldn't be modest.

    Are sports and hobbies and skills and things like this all worthless? They always seem to be for self-gratification. How do these type things bring God glory? My time is His after all. I mean, really, when there's like athletes and Olympians who get to do their dreams [and be toned] and say 'glory to God', how does that work? Is that really God's dream for them? How does it bring God glory [not sarcastically asking, I'm seriously asking]

    I always feel like at the end of the day it's about dieing, persecuted people in other countries. And then I look at what I wanna do today and I feel like a rotten person. I prob will till I can get out there and make a difference, but I'm just a kid.

    Help!

    I sound so silly:(

    I feel like every time I wanna do something so stupid and selfish like this I let God down. I wonder if He's ever happy with me. I mean, I know I'm forgiven in Christ and when He looks at me He sees Christ's righteousness instead of my sins....but it's hard for me to remember and know what that means. I mean, He knows my thoughts before I think them. I used to think I could stand, but then I suddenly found myself really low, and I'm soooo sinful, it's not even funny. I'm so selfish and vain and proud and....well.....selfish. I don't want to be! I hate how I am! I see my own thoughts and think 'that's so selfish, stop it!' and then I make excuses trying to justify the lie and make it sound like it's okay, like I did with the fitness thing 'oh it's for my health, I need to be strong, blah blah blah' well yeah, those are good things, but the motive I had was wrong, cause it was rooted in selfishness and just wanting to look like a fit person and be on of those 'toned' people.

    I guess I just wanted people to think I was strong and cool for being committed to something like that. Cause being ripped is hard and people have respect for people who can do it.

    And I wanted to look better. Yeah. I said it....I told you I was selfish.

    How can I change?
    Alexis
    Thanks!!
    on Monday, February 11, 2013 at 8:14 am
    Thanks for everybody's comments. I feel way better! Thanks especially Sarah. Its a great idea and I will start a journal!!! Thanks again for all prayers!! They are needed and appreciated!!
    Mattea
    @Sarah
    on Monday, February 11, 2013 at 11:17 am
    Thank you Sarah for your encouraging words and prayers! You are a blessing! :)
    Marissa
    Re: dot
    on Monday, February 11, 2013 at 5:41 pm
    Hey girl! I know where you're coming from!! Ecclesiastes talks all about meaningless things, but at times it says (like in chapter 9) that God has approved of it. He wants is to enjoy life. I believe as long as we put God first and do everything for His glory and follow His commandments, we can enjoy our lives. I don't think that he wants us to sit here and focus on death and such. How morbid! Even in heaven there will be song and feasting! And staying active (as long as you don't worship it and aren't addicted to it) is apart of life and healthy living. I used to swim 18 hours a week and God showed me that that was too much. So take it easy. Maybe go for walks and use that time to pray. My friend walks on the treadmill and reads her bible at the same time. Or you could just focus on how good you feel and thank God. That's what I do. I hope this helps! Do everything for his glory!!

    Marissa
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ Dot
    on Monday, February 11, 2013 at 5:57 pm
    I appreciate your heart to do the right thing in regards to taking care of your body, Dot! God tells us that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. He wants us to care for our “temples” so that we are strong and physically fit to do the works that God has for us to do. We are to honor God with our bodies. I don’t know what God has in your future, Dot. Many athletes are able to bring the Word of God to others because of the platform God has given them through athletics.

    As you keep your heart in tune with God’s through reading His Word and prayer, He will lead you in the direction you should go. Our heart motives are what is at the core of what makes being fit right or wrong. I encourage you to speak with your parents about the thoughts you have expressed in this and get their input. They need to be aware of what you are thinking and what you are struggling with so that they can help and support you in making decisions about your future. I’ve prayed for you today and have asked God to continue to convict your heart about wrong motives and to lead you in the days ahead as you make decisions about how to spend your time and energies on things that bring Him glory and honor.
    dot
    Re: Marissa and Lorree
    on Monday, February 11, 2013 at 7:09 pm
    thank you both for replying! I will try the things you said, and you helped me feel a lot better about this! Thank you!
    Kaetlyn
    Made me feel better
    on Monday, February 11, 2013 at 7:28 pm
    Thank you so much.
    I've felt a lot like this quote most "My heart's longing is for people to love me. Some days I barely feel noticed, let alone loved."
    I've felt like this a lot recently, my best friend just bailed on me yesterday and as soon as her parents came to pick her up for church, she bolted to the door. I've never felt so unloved by her. She usually gives me a big hug and tells me how much she loves me and stalls as much as she can but...
    Anyways, I saw this e-mail subscription floating around in my inbox and said, "This should help a little,"
    And reading this made me realize, My big sister can't fill me up, My crush who likes me back can't fill me up. NOTHING but God-My Daddy- can.
    Meelisa
    My option
    on Wednesday, February 13, 2013 at 12:07 pm
    I choose option #2! I want to glorify God in everything I do and I know if I don't feel loved (and feelings do LIE!) I know the Lord LOVES me! Thank You for this blog :)
    B<3
    Already sick of attention
    on Saturday, February 16, 2013 at 6:37 pm
    Guys gravitate towards me. I don't know why. They're my best friends, and sometimes my love interests. We laugh, they tell me I'm perfectly beautiful, it's all okay, I guess. Some grab my butt or stare at my chest and I don't know what ot do?
    Christen
    Thank you
    on Sunday, February 17, 2013 at 5:37 pm
    Thank you for reminding me of this and God's living water. I often crave attention more in the form of recognition, kind of dreaming of "saving the world." I need to be reminded that sort of honor from my peers would not satisfy me. But God can, and He stands ready to fill me up with his living water. Pour, Lord.

    Thanks again, Erin! I've missed reading your posts :)
    anonymous
    myself
    on Friday, February 22, 2013 at 9:01 pm
    I thought that i wasnt good enough or pretty enough to live (a lie from satan) This is why i cut myself and had suicidal thoughts. Now i know that i am beautifully and wonderfully made and that God doesnt make mistakes. I am not a mistake and if there are any young women cutting or wanting to end their life just know that God loves you and thats all you need.
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    @B<3
    on Saturday, February 23, 2013 at 11:17 am
    Precious friend, if someone had purchased for you an extravagantly valuable, exceptionally rare gem you would treasure that gift. You would guard the gift continually; doing whatever was necessary to ensure nothing happened to something so incredibly valuable!

    In the eyes of our Heavenly Father, B<3, you are that gem. He paid the ultimate price – the death of His Son Jesus – so He could have a personal relationship with you. . Its Jesus sacrifice that determines your worth; not the attention of guys, precious one.

    I’m praying you will begin to see yourself as Jesus sees you, B<3. This post http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=1955 and reading a chapter from Ephesians each day will help you on that journey.
    Anonymous
    Re:
    on Sunday, February 24, 2013 at 6:12 pm
    Thank you sooo much for this, i can definitely relate to every bit. I pray God continues to bless you and you continue to reach out to this younger generation of women. Thanks and God bless
    Kaya
    Re:
    on Saturday, May 11, 2013 at 12:46 pm
    I've had a bad past with being 'noticed'.
    I used to never want to be noticed at all before I was saved. Like when I was 12 I wud lock myself in the car for a church gathering or run off with my only friend to get away from the crowd. I never, ever thought I was good enough at church. And still don't. I'm homeschooled so church and soccer are usually my only activities. There are no doubt some truly beautiful girls at my church, and they all are in this clock with some good-looking guys. Theres only one girl my age at my church and she's not very consistent in commng so I hang out with my other friend who's 18/19.

    But after I was saved I started to make friends with so many people! God has blessed me with the popular girls talking with me more and the guys as well. Yet I keep having this feeling like I have to measure up to them. I look average I would say. I have pale skin, strawberry blond hair, blue eyes, freckles, and am a average weight. But, I put on makeup to cover pimples and put on some eyeliner/mascera. The thing is, most girls at my church don't even whear makeup or need it, they all ready have a wonderful complection. I'm not complaining, really, I just need some advice on how to not want to complain or try an "measure up" to them.

    Thanks,

    Kaya
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ Kaya
    on Monday, May 13, 2013 at 12:57 pm
    I love your story, Kaya! The difference that was made in your life (before salvation and after salvation) is that you chose to believe what God said about you rather than what others said. Our beauty - the things that God values the most - are not things we can see with our eyes (outward beauty) but the things that God can see in our hearts. I Peter 3:3-4 says that our beauty - the thing that is precious in God’s eyes, is our gentle quiet spirit.

    Outwardly we are wasting away. It is the time that we choose to spend with God, that relationship with the Lover of our souls that will give us beauty that draws others to us. I encourage you to continue to cultivate your relationship with God through prayer and the study of His Word. I also encourage you to reach out to others that the “crowd” may shun and draw them in and begin to minister to their hearts so they know how much God loves and values them. God can use the past pain in your life to give you a ministry right where you are. I’ve paused and prayed for you, Kaya, and have asked God to bring you friends who will also want to focus on their walk with God and ministry to others rather than focusing on outward beauty. Will you join me in praying that prayer?
    Sport Team Websites
    Red736
    on Monday, November 4, 2013 at 1:42 pm
    Usually I don't read article on blogs, however I wish to say that this write-up very pressured me to take a look at and do so! Your writing style has been surprised me. Thanks, quite nice post.
    Sport Team Websites http://dating.realwebsex.com/en/go/index.php?id=FST2

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