Bikinis: Is Less Really More?

Paula Hendricks 07/24/13
Category: Myself ; 55 comments

In this intriguing video, Jessica Rey explains the history of swimsuits and then explores what kind of power bikinis give girls. (Is this the kind of power you really want?) 

Jessica Rey shares how she asked herself the question we all ask at one time or another, Does modesty mean I have to be frumpy and dumpy? (No!)

Hear how Jessica took matters into her own hands and designed her own swimsuit with Audrey Hepburn as her inspiration.

I love what Jessica says in this video, "Modesty isn't about hiding ourselves; it's about revealing our dignity." The dignity we have as image-bearers of God (Gen. 1:27).

Who says it has to be itsy-bitsy? Paul says in 1 Timothy 2:8–10,

I desire then that . . . women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.

So how about it? How will you showcase your beauty this summer? 

 

Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

    Rebekah
    Wow!
    on Wednesday, July 24, 2013 at 2:17 am
    Hi,
    OK first off I want to say thank you! I have read books on modesty and done purity studies at my church but, I never knew this! I mean I know that wearing low cut clothing and everything does make a guy look at you as an object. But I have never gone in the deep before! This has really opened my eyes! So once again I say, thank you!!!! <33
    May
    Re:
    on Wednesday, July 24, 2013 at 6:58 am
    I think that 'fashion' has got out of control. Wearing bikinis gives a lot of power to girls whose body image reflects that of women in magazines and on television. There is a lot more to it. It is like a stereotype - only 'hot' or 'good-looking' girls look good in bikinis.

    It does a lot of harm to girls and women who don't have much confidence with their body and further affects their self-esteem. Men, on the other hand, seem brainwashed into thinking that only certain girls should be wearing bikinis. They downgrade those who look different regardless.

    Self-worth is tested during summer for sure.
    Isabella
    Amazed
    on Wednesday, July 24, 2013 at 7:01 am
    I have always believed this, but this still convicted me :) I love this. I learned a lot. Amen!
    Natalie
    Thank You
    on Wednesday, July 24, 2013 at 7:29 am
    I have grown up wearing modest clothes and wanting to be pleasing in God eyes. But when I was about 14 I really struggled with the need to be modest. I constantly told myself that I didn't want to look frumpy etc. So I would try to wear tighter, more revealing tops etc. God impressed upon my heart, (after struggling with this for some time) that my purity and modesty was more important (and more sacred and precious) then anything else that had been given me. Thank you for this article ! I've learned so much from this blog!
    Louisa
    Wow!
    on Wednesday, July 24, 2013 at 12:56 pm
    I have always completely agreed with her, but it's so good to have a reminder of WHY I think the way I do! :) Thank you!
    denise
    Re:
    on Wednesday, July 24, 2013 at 1:23 pm
    put this in stores i need those swim suits! lol I learned soo much
    Casey
    AMEN
    on Wednesday, July 24, 2013 at 5:24 pm
    As a man, husband and father it is about time that women start talking to women about putting some clothes on! Please share this idea with all females!
    Macey
    THANK YOU
    on Wednesday, July 24, 2013 at 7:07 pm
    recently I was hanging out with a girl that has like a bazzilion bikinis and wore them every time we went swimming. we have our differences and had a fight now we don't hangout much anymore,but more to the point thanks for the post :)
    Savannah
    Wow
    on Wednesday, July 24, 2013 at 8:24 pm
    I recently read an article exactly on this! It was written by "The Full Time Girl" and was called "why I don't wear a bikini"
    Deeks
    Fully Clothed
    on Thursday, July 25, 2013 at 5:28 am
    I kind of agree with this. I've never worn a bikini in my life because I just feel that it is too revealing. What is a girl's motive behind wearing a bikini? You can still look cute in a one piece. But I also want to say it is not a woman's responsibility to make sure that a man does not lust after her. Men will lust after a girl who is fully clothed. I had an experience where I was walking through the canteen in my college and a group of boys were talking about me and one of them was speaking really loudly. He said that he would have sex with me but he said it in a more vulgar way than that. I was wearing a white t-shirt that was one size too big for me, tucked into skinny jeans and an open blue shirt over that.

    Each individual is responsible for their own actions. When a man who has been lusting after women stands before God on Judgment Day, God is not going to ask the women who the man was lusting after, "why did you make this man lust after you?" He's going to ask the man, "why were you lusting after all of these women?" If I don't have sexual thoughts whenever I see a topless man then I don't understand how lusting can be such a big problem for men. It seems like they're just trying to shift the blame.
    Dani
    @Deeks
    on Thursday, July 25, 2013 at 4:19 pm
    Hi Deeks, just wanted to let you know that God wired men and women differently. He created men to be more visually stimulated while women are more turned on emotionally rather then by sight alone. My Dad and brothers both fight against lust everyday. Images are being thrown at them constantly. This is a big battle for men. While it is up to Christian men to control their thoughts, we as Daughters of the King should glorify God by dressing with dignity. At the same time, by dressing modestly we help our brothers in Christ who are fighting impure thoughts. I know Christian guys who are living for God greatly appreciate this.

    C.J. Maheny has a book called Worldliness. It contains a great chapter on modesty. Also has an article written by a young man in college about his battle with lust. It might help you understand better. I don't think I'll ever totally understand either:).
    Deeks
    @Dani
    on Thursday, July 25, 2013 at 4:44 pm
    Hey Sis, nowhere in the Bible does it say that God created males to be more "visual" and women to be more "emotional". If you could back up your point with scripture that would be great, but you are only stating your own opinion.
    Hannah
    deeks
    on Thursday, July 25, 2013 at 6:10 pm
    When that boy said he wanted to have sex with you have you ever thought why. It could have been those skinny jeans. Yes you are right about God say to the man why did u lust after that woman? But he is also going to say to that woman why did u not obey me? The bible calls woman to dress modestly, so we must obey.
    Deeks
    @Hannah
    on Thursday, July 25, 2013 at 9:21 pm
    So it's my fault that a boy who I do not know and have never spoken to in my life thought it would be a good idea to open up his mouth and sexually objectify and harass me? I guess you would also tell me that it was my fault if this boy decided to rape me all because of "those skinny jeans" I was wearing.
    Dani
    Re:
    on Thursday, July 25, 2013 at 9:50 pm
    Hey Deeks,
    I don't believe anyone is trying to come down on you or argue. I personally believe that God created men and woman differently, both in a physical sense and how we look at life. Also, unless a guy has the Holy Spirit living in him, we can't expect him to act anything like Christ. Our culture does not come even close to encouraging Biblical masculinity or femininity. Back to what I said earlier.

    Just because God does not explicitly state something in scripture does not mean it is not true. God did create us differently to complement each other. Regarding men and their battle with lust, there are many books written that would point to this. One for woman is
    For Women Only, Revised and Updated Edition: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men
    Shaunti Feldhahn (Author)

    Another one for men is called Every Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn. Men do on a whole struggle with lust more then women. By using the word emotionally in regards to women, I mean that women on a whole are more "turned on"so to speak by touch,words, thoughtful things ect. This is why most of us crave romance. Again, I am not trying to argue with you, just sharing with a sister. Hope you will prayfully look into this more.
    HannahC
    @Deeks
    on Friday, July 26, 2013 at 1:23 am
    I feel for you. Nothing gives another human being an excuse to degrade another. Regardless of what you were wearing, that young man had no right to speak of you in such a manner. While men might be tempted by a women's immodest apparel (which I don't think yours was), they are completely, 100% responsible for their own actions. I hope you aware that sexual harassment like that is a criminal offence. If he continues to bother you, make sure to tell an authority.
    Praying for you :)
    Hannah
    deeks
    on Friday, July 26, 2013 at 7:29 am
    The reason I talked about skinny jeans is that it can be at times immodest. Especially when i wear them really tight, so that everyone can see your curves. Now I do not believe those are your intentions. In the bible God says love your neighbor as yourself. With that instruction i feel like I am being called to modesty. Because i know that my neighbor(brothers) have a hard time when I dress immodestly. So I want to make it easier.
    Deeks
    @Dani
    on Friday, July 26, 2013 at 1:13 pm
    Sis, just because you personally believe something to be true, doesn't mean that it is. God created man in his image. Are you saying that God is a more "visual" than "emotional" God then? How much sense would that make when God does not care about what we look like on the outside but is concerned with what is in our hearts? You said that God made men more "visual" and women more "emotional" so that they can "complement" each other. That also makes no sense. Men and women are just as visual and emotional as each other. We just display this in different ways.
    Deeks
    @HannahC
    on Friday, July 26, 2013 at 1:15 pm
    Thanks Sis. God bless. x
    Deeks
    @Hannah
    on Friday, July 26, 2013 at 1:34 pm
    Hey Sis, I've been researching this whole "modesty" thing and what it means in the Bible. When Paul was telling the women of the Church to dress modestly he meant that they should not wear an abundance of expensive things such as jewelry etc. because this could upset the poorer women/ people of the Church. I think this whole "modesty" thing has been taken right out of context. What the Bible means about modesty and what us, today as Christians are calling "modesty" is very different. Dressing modestly means not being vain about your appearance and not being obsessed with being the best-looking girl in the room.

    But God still says that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit Who dwells within us and that we should glorify God with our bodies. When you wear something, you need to ask yourself why you are wearing it. And be truthful. If you are wearing it because you want boys to lust after you then you are not glorifying God because you want other people to commit sin at the expense of the way you have chosen to dress. However, if you are wearing something because you think you look cute in it then that's okay. There is nothing shameful or wrong about the female body and there is no reason to cover it up like it is something evil.
    Hannah
    deeks
    on Friday, July 26, 2013 at 4:31 pm
    I do not remember reading anywhere in the bible about not wearing jewelery cause it would upset the poor. You just took that verse out of context. What he is saying that we should not draw attention to ourselves. If u look up the word modesty on the dictionary it means decency of speech and dress. Why would I or anyone else walk around naked then why would i walk around semi naked. I dont want to dress immodestly because it is not a representation of who I am.
    Deeks
    @Hannah
    on Saturday, July 27, 2013 at 7:42 am
    No, I did not take that verse out of context. If you do your research and read a few Bible commentaries then you will be able to understand what the verse meant. That is 1 Timothy 2:9: "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array." This is not speaking in a "sexual" sense. Paul is not telling women what to wear because they may cause men to lust after them.

    The word "modesty" in the Bible does not mean the same as the English translation. The Greek word for modesty is "Kosmios" - this is the word that the Bible is referring to which means "orderly, well-arranged, harmonious arrangement, adornment." It does not mean to cover up your "private" parts or your legs, your chest, your stomach etc. Like I said, do your research Sis.

    Who is telling you to dress naked or semi-naked? No one. Wearing skinny jeans is not "immodest" and when you get dressed in the morning your thoughts shouldn't be, "will this top cause my brethren to stumble?" It should be, "am I glorifying God with my body?" Nobody is responsible for anybody else's sin. I hope you will continue to grow in your walk with Christ and not just jump on what everyone else seems to be doing because your relationship with Jesus is a personal one.

    Website sources: http://ezinearticles.com/?Modesty---What-Does-It-Mean?&id=6498239

    http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/commentaries/IVP-NT/1Tim/Men-Women-Worship
    Deeks
    Crickets
    on Saturday, July 27, 2013 at 8:03 am
    I'm also wondering why this website's writers haven't said anything yet about what they have posted? It would be wise to do the proper research on Bible verses before you decide to use them out of context. It's almost like you're deceiving us young readers. Thousands of young girls look to this website for guidance which means you have a responsibility to properly educate them on God's Word. I am one of the ones who is discerning enough to not take everything at face value and to do my own research before I blindly believe everything that I see written here but not all of your readers are like that.
    Hannah
    deeks
    on Saturday, July 27, 2013 at 9:24 am
    I have one final question for you. Do you think it's ok for a woman to wear a bikini? The reason i disagree with wearing a bikini is cause it is just a bra and underwear. How do you feel about it?
    Deeks
    @Hannah
    on Saturday, July 27, 2013 at 2:14 pm
    Sis, if you had read my first comment then you would know that I have never worn a bikini in my life because I feel that it is too revealing. However, if other girls want to wear a bikini then fine. They need to first ask themselves why they are wearing it.
    Rachel
    Deeks
    on Sunday, July 28, 2013 at 6:14 pm
    Deeks- do you text while driving? Do you sneeze on other peoples food? Do you holler while people are trying to sleep? Do you bring peanuts to school cafeterias? No? Then you believe that we ARE responsible for each other. You are right- you can't stop people determined to sin, but we do owe each other the courtesy of not behaving in a manner that is disruptive, distracting or distressing to each other, and yes that IS in the bible- its the part that says "love one another". If someone marched around a cafeteria with known peanut allergists with a snickers bar announcing "other peoples allergies are their problem!" they would no doubt be considered rank, arrogant and dangerous to society. Yet this same level of arrogance when applied to revealing our bodies is lauded by the world as enlightened feminism. What's it to us if someone needs an epi-pen shot and a rest? My body, my peanuts, my business, right? Jesus never said anything about allergies...

    I see what you are trying to do Deeks. You are an excellent wordsmith, able to craft your replies carefully enough so that one cannot wholly disagree with them, but your fundamental principle argument that we are not beholden to each other. And that's not what Jesus taught when he taught us to love our neighbour. Skin is visually loud. Covering the loudest areas should be considered good manners at the very least. Why do people find it so offensive to their pride to show common courtesy in this regard (because I don't want to see it either. Studies have shown that exposure to immodest advertising, magazines and toys is correlated to decreased feelings of self worth, eating disorders, bullying, and negative thought patterns. It may be lust we are protecting guys from, but it is covetousness, envy, jealousy, wrath etc we are protecting girls from, and we owe them just as much).

    So Deeks, I encourage you to swallow your pride and see this counsel as true. That modesty IS a harmonious arrangement that includes covering those areas that if exposed would bring a disharmonious discord to a situation (I think giving someone lustful thoughts by exposing your skin when you don't actually feel that way is the definition of disharmonious. Don't you?)
    Deeks
    @Rachel
    on Sunday, July 28, 2013 at 7:30 pm
    Sis, your first paragraph is irrelevant and doesn't make sense so I'm not going to give it a serious response. I've already made clear what the Bible means by the word "modesty". It is not the same as the English word. To understand Scripture you need to first evaluate the context that it was written in. Bible commentaries will aid you in doing this. When you take Scripture out of its context then the truth becomes lost.

    Again, nobody is responsible for anybody else's sin. Sin is a choice. Lust is a choice, coveting is a choice, being envious is a choice, being jealous is a choice etc. Sin is something that we struggle with personally and it is between us and God to work it out. A human being cannot deliver you of your sin - that's why Christ was crucified on the cross.

    PS: Should we make all the pretty girls wear masks on their faces because insecure girls get jealous whenever they see them?
    Rachel
    @deeks
    on Monday, July 29, 2013 at 2:14 pm
    Yes, I agree with your definition of modesty- I find it excellent. What you are failing to see is the message immodesty sends. The doctrine of modesty as I have been taught it is to have a "harmonious arrangement" (kosmios) with who you are, where you are and what you are wearing.

    We have areas of skin that when touched are more sexually arousing. Revealing those areas invites thoughts of touching them. For a Christian woman to invite such thoughts is not an "harmonious arrangement" with her covenants and beliefs. I agree that whether or not someone accepts that invitation to pollute their mind with lust is their sin, and we are not called to be anyone's Saviour. The sin we are guilty of is the invitation to others to look at us in a way that is not "harmonious" to our intentions. And that is a sin whether they accept the invitation or virtuously deny it- our sin is the same. And yes, if a pretty girl, while fully clothed, in her attitude and words is inviting jealousy, other sin, etc, and claims to be a Christian, yes, she is being immodest. Should we cover her face? No, but I think we have already established that both of us know modesty is much more than covering up. Let's drop the pretense that the doctrine is that simplistic.

    I have a testimony of modesty as it is taught by the LYWB team. I have searched, pondered and prayed for it, and I live it. I urge you to kneel and pray for better understanding of this principle as we are actually teaching it- not as you are nitpicking it. Look past the contention, and you will see it is not the false doctrine you declare it, but a true manifestation of the "harmony" modesty should be.
    Deeks
    @Rachel
    on Monday, July 29, 2013 at 9:36 pm
    No Sis, that is not my definition of modesty. That is the definition of the Greek word "Kosmios" that the Bible is referring to when the word "modesty" is used. I did not pluck that definition out of thin air. The Bible does not ever speak on the English definition of modesty and it does not tell women how to dress so that they will not cause men to lust after them. The verse where the word "modesty" is used in the Bible should not ever come out of anyone's mouth when speaking on the topic of modesty in dressing.

    You said that areas of human skin that "when touched are more sexually arousing" need to be covered. That makes no sense. Giving someone a neck massage can arouse them. A kiss on the lips or neck can be arousing, a nibble on an ear can be arousing. Full lips are also seen to be sensuous.

    God created every human being the way they are. A pretty girl has no control over her facial features. Why do you assume that a pretty girl wants other girls to be jealous of her? That's laughable. And yes, the English word modesty is much more than just "covering up". That's why a man will lust after a beautiful woman in a business suit and not even look twice at a fat, ugly woman in a bikini.
    Hannah
    deeks
    on Tuesday, July 30, 2013 at 8:46 am
    What you say about the word kosmios is true and i believe it. The truth i think and have felt God been saying about modesty is that it is a witness to others who i am in Him. I am saying this without talking about mens lust. I am saying that if I dress immodestly how can people see who God is thru me if all they see is me. I want to dress in a way that shows God who is in me.
    SB
    @ Deeks
    on Tuesday, July 30, 2013 at 9:15 am
    http://www.gty.org/resources/sermons/54-14/#top. Please read this article from pastor and Bible teacher John MaCarthur. This is my view of modesty. This is a long article but I believe it might open your eyes to a different view of modesty. Please everybody who reads my comment read this article also. John MaCarthur loves The lord with all of his heart and puts deep study in each of his sermons. I pray that this would help u today. Please do not find anything I say condemning but as a suggestion from ur sister in Christ
    Deeks
    @Hannah
    on Tuesday, July 30, 2013 at 10:24 am
    And that's okay. Modesty is subjective. If anyone feels convicted for wearing a bikini then they shouldn't wear it. It's all about motive.
    Deeks
    John 8:32
    on Tuesday, July 30, 2013 at 10:33 am
    I'm surprised that this website's writers still haven't commented on what they have written here. It's okay when your readers are agreeing with everything that you post but the minute you are questioned and corrected you fall silent. I thought this blog was all about revealing the truth. Sad.
    Rachel
    Deeks
    on Tuesday, July 30, 2013 at 11:56 am
    Deeks- I call your bluff. You didn't misread my reply that badly on accident. You aren't that dumb. And you don't believe that "kosmios" in reference to the way the bible uses it is as simple as not letting your shoes clash with your belt. You know ancient Hebrew is just as rich and complex a language as English. I don't believe you actually think its that narrow- except to serve your argument. You can't convince me you merely believe God wants us not to mix plaids and stripes.

    And your persistent baiting of the LYWB team under the guise of "talking truth" when you are deliberately pretending to misunderstand people is shameful Deeks. If I had to guess, I would assume they are just busy with their summer, but if their reason is they seek not to enter into a contentious argument about "truth" with someone who isn't being honest to anyone- with your spin doctoring of sincere replies- then they would be following Christ's example of "casting not pearls before swine". Try changing your attitude. Maybe they'll start talking when you start sounding like someone ready to listen. But you've spun enough of my replies to convince me you are only interested in hearing your own cleverness- whether you believe it or not (and you can't convince me you do- you've simply taken it too far).

    I will urge you one more time to pray Deeks. Humble yourself and talk to God.
    Deeks
    @Rachel
    on Tuesday, July 30, 2013 at 4:43 pm
    Sis, what are you talking about? All of your points have not made any sense but you do not want to acknowledge that. That is why you replied back with the nonsense that is your first and second paragraph. I have pointed out every flaw in your arguments which you have not been able to do to mine - nobody has. Not even the writers of this website.

    You do not know who I am. What you see posted here are simply words on a screen that I have typed. I have not once judged anybody here but that is what you are doing to me without even having met me at all. You have called me prideful, dumb, a troublemaker and a liar. But, it is well.
    Daughter of the Star Breather
    @Deeks
    on Tuesday, July 30, 2013 at 11:05 pm
    Hi Sister! (: I hope you are having a good evening.

    I just wanted to clarify a few things in this conversation. If I am incorrect in what I say then I would like you to tell me with Biblical Scriptures. Because honestly, it's not about any of our opinions but GOD'S. So please let me know if I'm wrong. :)

    The Bible does in fact speak about being a stumbling block for your brother or sister in Christ. Romans 14:

    "14 I know and am convinced in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but to him who thinks anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean. 15 For if because of food your brother is hurt, you are no longer walking according to love. Do not destroy with your food him for whom Christ died. 16 Therefore do not let what is for you a good thing be [b]spoken of as evil; 17 for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 For he who in this way serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. 19 So then [c]we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another. 20 Do not tear down the work of God for the sake of food. All things indeed are clean, but they are evil for the man who eats [d]and gives offense. 21 It is good not to eat meat or to drink wine, or to do ANYTHING by which your brother stumbles." (emphasis added)

    Here, Paul discusses something much more trivial than lust and immodesty. Drinking wine (as long as you don't get drunk) is absolutely not evil of itself. But if you know that someone has an issue with it and is struggling, then it would be unloving to do so in front of them, because they will have to struggle even more and might fall into temptation.

    I don't think that wearing bikinis is sinful at all in and of itself. Honestly if I lived on an island all by myself or at least without any guys living on it (you could actually make a girl struggling with lesbianism stumble by wearing immodest clothing...scary but true :o), I would wear a new bikini everyday. :P But God put us into this world and in a church with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, not on an island by ourselves.

    Yes, guys are responsible for their own sin; they can't blame it on others, but if we make it so much harder for them, we are being selfish and don't have the love of the Father.

    So what I'm getting to is, yes, bikinis can cause guys to stumble and lust after you! And it may not seem like a big deal or you may just wanna blame the guy for looking, but Jesus DOES think it's a big deal. In fact, listen to what He says (Luke 17): He said to His disciples, “It is inevitable that stumbling blocks come, but woe to him through whom they come! 2 It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea, than that he would cause one of these little ones to stumble."

    Sounds harsh, doesn't it? But God calls us to guard our brothers' hearts and help them in the everyday battle against sin and temptation.

    By the way, I know you said you don't wear bikinis, which is good :) Also, I am so sorry that guy said that to you, that must've been such a bad experience :-/ I don't think you were wearing anything immodest at all, some guys are just flat out pervs no matter what you're wearing.

    Speaking of, that leads to another thing I wanted to mention, men in fact are more stimulated by visuals than women... although this is not explicitly in the Bible, you can see it through implied texts. In the Bible, there are a lot more cases of men lusting after women than vice versa. When Jesus spoke in the sermon on the mount in Matthew 7 (But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.), why didn't he also say, "Anyone that looks on a MAN lustfully has already committed adultery with HIM in HER heart"? Because men are more prone to that than women are! Why do you think there are so many modesty discussions and Christian books aimed at girls and not a whole lot aimed at guys? :) Girls are more stimulated by what a guy says to them which leads to other things. That's something my mom and many other Christian, godly women have told me, as well as lots of Christian books pertaining to modesty.

    And also, please don't taunt or put down Miss Hendricks or any other writers of LYWB. If their silence is intentional, they might be praying about it and trying to craft a prudent answer with time so that they can answer all of your questions and comments. :) "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up..." 1 Thessalonions 5:11

    "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

    -- Daughter of the Star Breather
    SB
    @ Deeks
    on Wednesday, July 31, 2013 at 11:15 am
    Did you read the aritcle i showed you?
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    @Deeks and All ...
    on Thursday, August 1, 2013 at 12:29 pm
    @Deeks…Jessica Rey made a great point at the end of the video. Modesty is about “revealing our dignity”. Certainly that gives us an outward look of what others see us as in light of what we wear.
    The original biblical word for modestly is: “a sense of shame or honor, modesty, bashfulness, reverence, regard for others, respect.”

    Scripture is God’s inspired Word. Having a "regard for others", reflects the very reason Jesus came and died. “And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again." ( 2 Cor. 5:15).

    God intends for us to have an outward look as to how our dress influences others; yes, even responsibility before guys. “This means one must not transgress against and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger of all these offenses, as we also previously told and warned you.” (1 Thess. 4:6)

    @all of us…Matthew Henry’s commentary speaks to all of us in light of the 1 Thessalonians 4:6 verse. It’s a bit “wordy”, but carries a great message for us. Let’s take it to heart. So proud of you girls for standing for godliness in your dress and manner.

    Exhortations to Purity and Holiness (4:1-8)
    To abide in the faith of the gospel is not enough, we must abound in the work of faith. The rule according to which all ought to walk and act, is the commandments given by the Lord Jesus Christ.

    Sanctification, in the renewal of their souls under the influences of the Holy Spirit, and attention to appointed duties, constituted the will of God respecting them. In aspiring after this renewal of the soul unto holiness, strict restraint must be put upon the appetites and senses of the body, and on the thoughts and inclinations of the will, which lead to wrong uses of them. The Lord calls none into his family to live unholy lives, but that they may be taught and enabled to walk before him in holiness. Some make light of the precepts of holiness, because they hear them from men; but they are God's commands, and to break them is to despise God.
    Matthew Henry Concise Bible Commentary.

    God bless all of you!
    M
    Re:
    on Thursday, August 1, 2013 at 1:41 pm
    Does anybody know wat stores U can buy those swimsuits at or where u can order them?
    Deeks
    @Daughter of the Star Breather
    on Thursday, August 1, 2013 at 5:27 pm
    Hey Sis, thank you for your reply. But again, I stress that in order to be able to understand Scripture you need to first evaluate the context that it was written in. I have read a few Bible commentaries on a similar chapter where Paul was addressing eating foods that were sacrificed to idols. This passage is 1 Corinthians chapter 8. Please look up this passage because it is too long for me to post here.

    Christians that were more understanding of the faith understood that it was okay to eat foods that had been sacrificed to idols and that it was also okay to eat in an idol's temple because idols are not real and have no power. However, the weaker Christians - who had worshipped idols in the past - still held the idols to a somewhat high standard. 1 Corinthians 8: “For if someone with a weak conscience sees you, with all your knowledge, eating in an idol’s temple, won’t that person be emboldened to eat what is sacrificed to idols? So this weak brother or sister, for whom Christ died, is destroyed by your knowledge. When you sin against them in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ.” So, by this passage we know that because the stronger Christians were leading by example, the weaker Christians would copy them and would eat the food sacrificed to idols with the said idol in mind and so they would be worshipping the idol whilst they ate the food and they would have fallen into sin. This concept of not causing your brethren to stumble is completely different from the whole women should dress “appropriately” or “modestly” as to not cause their brothers in Christ to stumble approach.

    These Christians that Paul wrote to in 1 and 2 Corinthians all attended the same church and were called the Corinthians. Most probably, everyone at the church knew each other. These stronger Christians knew that some of the weaker Christians struggled in this area. One woman does not know every single Christian man on Earth to say that they all struggle with lust. Not every man on earth struggles with lust. Rather, if you really want to take the concept of not causing your brother to stumble out of its context then a Christian woman should not tempt a man that she specifically knows struggles with lust. I say the word “tempt” because the way a woman is dressed alone may not cause a man to immediately lust after. It is also about her actions towards the man in question and whether she is acting suggestively towards him. But, like I said, what the Bible means by being a stumbling block to others and what today’s Christians mean by it, is different as scripture has been misunderstood or slightly twisted to suit an agenda. Also, note that in 1 Corinthians chapter 8 Paul was speaking about not weakening the weaker Christians’ conscience. How does a Christian woman dressing a certain way weaken a lustful man’s conscience? Instead we might say that it would weaken another Christian woman’s conscience who doesn’t believe in dressing the same way that the first woman has chosen to dress in.

    Thanks for your concern. I was shocked when the guy said that about me because nothing like that has ever happened to me in my life. I felt like crying. One of his friends did tell him to stop though. I guess they were trying to show off but they just came off as being immature, sleazy and stupid.

    You said that in the Bible there are more cases of men lusting after women than women lusting after men. That is not true. That is just what the Bible decides to document. Just because the Bible says “he”, “him” and “his” etc., doesn’t mean that it does not also apply to us females. If that was the case, we would be able to get away with quite a lot. The Bible commonly uses male pronouns because Adam was created before Eve. For example, the tenth commandment says: “‘You shall not covet your neighbour’s wife…’” – Exodus 20:17. Moses only said “wife” and not “husband”. Does that mean that women are free to covet another woman’s husband? Definitely not. I understand that we will still have differing views but that is okay. I will not try and force my views on anyone I am just trying to help people understand the context of Scripture better. God bless Sis. x
    Deeks
    @SB
    on Thursday, August 1, 2013 at 5:29 pm
    I started to read it then I skimmed through it a bit. I didn't really understand whether the author was going. Sorry. Maybe you can explain if you want?
    Deeks
    @SB
    on Thursday, August 1, 2013 at 5:32 pm
    Oops, I meant to say "where" the author was going.
    Deeks
    @Sarah, with the LYWB team
    on Thursday, August 1, 2013 at 5:41 pm
    I'm very disappointed with this reply as it is very lukewarm and makes little sense... It is as if you wrote it in one minute and decided to ignore all of the points that I gave because you simply have no answers for them. My intention was to make you understand that you have used the Bible verse in your blog post out of context. You are confusing and misleading your readers. Nonetheless, God bless.
    Deeks
    @Daughter of the Star Breather
    on Thursday, August 1, 2013 at 5:49 pm
    Lol, I meant *Noah. I don't know why I said Moses.
    Deeks
    @Daughter of the Star Breather
    on Thursday, August 1, 2013 at 6:10 pm
    Wait, I was correct. I thought I got them mixed up. Sorry if I've confused anyone. Just to be clear, there are Seven Laws of Noah and Ten Commandments of Moses.
    TinyZebra
    why cant we just stop fighting/ my adventures and experiences with modesty and immodesty
    on Thursday, August 1, 2013 at 10:08 pm
    whilst i am reading all of these comments on this blog, i'm singing to myself "why can't we be friends?" haha, i'm not trying to get in on any arguments or start anything so please don't drag me into this..but i just dont see the point in arguing with each other so much. So what if one Daughter thinks bikinis are okay, and the other doesn't? Should we persecute each other for our beliefs? No, because God calls us to love and respect each other. Yes, we should keep each other in check so that we don't wander away from scripture. But i just feel like when one begins to continuously argue with each other, we start to lose sight of the original love and respect God meant for us. Just like how some Christians believe in certain political views and others dont. We still have to respect each others opinions.

    Now off of that :D

    I haven't gotten to watch the video yet, because my computer is mucho stinko but by reading the comments of every little darling on here and previous articles on modesty, i have to say lywb is changing my opinion on modesty. Used to, i would get pretty into my feelings when i read an article on modesty, especially if it was written by a man. I just felt like i was being attacked for trying to dress my body aesthetically pleasing and i never mean to be revealing, but it is extremely hard when you're well-endowed in the chest section, and curves section overall, so i'm aware that sometimes stuff that might not should show does. Also since I am an artist at heart, i am constantly trying to make sure every little detail is in place and looks nice. But with the flimsy or sheer materials and plunging necklines, it's really hard to find a pretty outfit i don't have to wear a cami under in the middle of summer, or have to opt to constantly worrying... (which thankfully, God gave me some good chick friends to help with the cleavage control when i wasn't so alert). And i refuse to opt to looking frumpy, because when i feel like i'm not looking decent, i feel down about myself. And since i have insecurity issues (don't we all tho?) i end up being a stick in the mud if i feel like i look bad in an outfit. And something i don't understand is why some people say that curve-revealing outfits are immodest. I guess it's because my idea of curves means the shape of your body/silhouette. If that's the case, then i don't agree with said curves being immodest to accentuate because it's just the natural shape of your body that you can't hide unless you dress in straight lined dresses that flow away from your body as much as possible.
    (If that's your opinion, though it's totally fine with me :) i feel if someone wants to dress according to what they believe, then great :D )
    Anyway in saying all that, my issue with modesty is that i always felt the authors of modesty articles were attacking me for something i don't mean to do because it's hard at times to keep my chest covered or find a long enough dress since i have a long torso. (i've lost alot of weight now, so it's less of a problem for the chest area) But what i've figured out from experience is that although it's nice to just throw the values of modesty to the wind and wear the revealing dress/shirt/shorts/bikini that it's always nice to not have to worry about being covered up all the time, and as a bonus you get a cute boy's attention...until the crude, not so cute men of any given age start paying attention. So, I think it's safe to say that not only are you protecting Christian brothers from falling, but you're also protecting yourself from people who take the amount of skin shown as an invitation.
    (But in several cases, pervs will be pervs and no matter what we try to do. There's always going to be that poor soul who's subjected to another person's lust when they have done nothing to attract it :( This is why I am thankful women have gained so many rights in the past few centuries so that we can be less subjected to such criminal actions.)

    Also, another point from my experience: I just came back from my first ever trip to Disney World with my boyfriend's family :) (it was posilutely AH-mazing!) and while i was in the parks i noticed that a lot of girls and women were wearing crop tops, cropped tank tops, teensy-weensy booty shorts, and even parading around in tiny bikinis no where close to the water park area. Needless to say, I didn't exactly like these women when i noticed my boyfriend of 2 and a half years eyeballing them because of the shining beacon their skin sent out. This naturally caused me to be jealous, and even a little hateful towards these women. This completely goes against my firm belief of God wanting us to love each other and respect each others opinions and choices. My boyfriend comes from a church family, so he wouldn't be looking purposefully at these women in a lustful way. But i noticed that even myself as a girl, couldn't help but stare at so much skin flashing around. So after that experience, i was pretty humbled on how hard it is for guys to not look at girls in such a way when skin can be such an attention-grabber and it inspired me to not be so lazy when dressing myself and go the extra length to keep the girls in up top.
    As far as bathing suits, i've always been restricted to two pieces. My torso is too long for a onepiece so it always looks stretched out and just plain unattractive on me. So ever since i completed the horrible stage of puberty, i've been a lover of tankinis. I've personally never been brave enough to wear a bikini because i have body-image issues. Since Christmas, though, I lost 38 pounds and look very nice if i say so myself ;3 so when summer rolled around I actually gave the bikini a thought...I talked it out with several people. The first was my mother who felt that a bikini was fine to wear doing yardwork or even if i wanted to tan a little (i live in a secluded area) but she expressed she would rather me not wear one publicly. She was not so much as concerned about my tummy showing, but more for the danger zones. Which in our area it's not very easy to find a "modest" bikini if one even exists. The second person i talked it out with was my best friend, who wore bikinis all her life because she has too small of a frame to wear anything else. She bought her first onepiece that finally fit her right, and she felt more comfortable in it because it made her feel like it attracted less negative attention. She felt like she could have fun without worrying about people staring at her. The third person i talked to about it was my boyfriend. He didn't have a problem with it at first, but then the more he thought about it, the more he didn't want me revealing myself. When i asked him why, he said he didn't want other people to be staring at me in that way. And finally i talked about it with God. I put myself in the place that if Jesus was at the beach or pool and i was wearing a bikini there, would I be comfortable in it in front of him? Or would i just feel self-conscious and doubtful? The answer was immediately no. So if I cant feel comfortable in front of my heavenly Father, then I knew it would only make me a hypocrite to wear one in front of everyone else.
    There are those who believe it's okay to wear bikinis. And yeah, maybe there's that perfect modest one out there where it's just revealing the middrift (which is not that immodest to me). But all i've seen in bikinis are the ones with either the low-slung bottom or cleavage enhancing cups, so in the mean time, so in the meantime, i'm gonna go with what i would feel most comfortable in front of God with. Which is an adorable tankini that i finally lost enough weight to feel confident in :)
    -God bless, and love y'all!
    Last Edit: on Friday, August 2, 2013 at 1:34pm by cgaul  
    MariahLynn
    Just some thoughts...
    on Friday, August 2, 2013 at 12:24 am
    So, first off, I haven't watched the video yet because for some reason my internet isn't working very well right now. But I did read through the comments, and they sparked a few thoughts in my mind.
    The first thought is this: men are not always more visual than women. I know this for a fact, because as an artist, I happen to be a very visual person. I still remember being a swimmer and seeing all the guys in their suits. Even though I was about six at the time, it filled my mind with very, well...awkward thoughts. I'll leave it at that.
    This will take me on a slight tangent....Men and women are not quite as different as everyone on here seems to believe, and certainly they are not very different in their sins AT ALL. Women lust, men lust. Men commit adultery, women commit adultery. Men worship idols. So do women. We sin the same ways, and you can call those sins by different names, and they can be committed for different reasons, but they are always sins. You cannot pretend that all men and all women fit into the same "box". They don't. Personally, I've always desired to be accepted more than loved. I've always wanted success over friendship, and I've always gotten along better with "the boys". And to top it off, I don't even like romance novels (Jane Austen *ewww*). Stereotypically I just described a guy, didn't I? But I AM quite clearly a girl.
    God made me a girl; I just don't fit into the Church's "girl box". And I say the Church's box because that's what it is; in an attempt to do a very good and noble thing, they are trying to push people into molds they were never meant to fit into. Men and women are different, yes, but aren't we ALL different from one another!? There are some girls who are always out to dress immodestly, but there are also many guys who do exactly the same thing! Think about it. How different IS a guy in a Speedo from a girl in a bikini? And there are many girls who like flowers, but there are also many guys who like flowers too.
    This is also a bit of random sidetracking, but note something here: think about the poets of past centuries, and the painters, the writers, musicians and composers (now, I'll grant that not all of them were Christians, but many of them were). These men painted and wrote about very beautiful, and sometimes very feminine things. Not only did they write them, they FELT them! Were they any less men because they wrote poems about love and flowers? Umm, let's make that a giant NO. Do you think for a moment that Jesus did not admire and find beauty in the petals of a rose?
    What I'm saying is that we are trying WAY too hard to categorise and sort people, when what we should be doing is trying to bring them closer to Christ. And I don't mean we should accept sin, that's not at all what I'm getting at. It's just that I see something in this that really saddens my heart; in our (noble) attempt to counter the culture's ideas of masculating women and feminizing men, we (the Church) are over-masculating our men and feminizing our women.
    Now, the second thing I really wanted to say is about whether or not we need to dress modestly for fear of causing someone to fall into sin. Of course we should try to dress modestly! It is our duty not just for women, but for men as well. We are to try to become as Christ-like as possible. We are also supposed to remember that God can always see us. And we should ask ourselves some questions about what we're wearing. The first is, "would I be okay with this if a person other than my future spouse/spouse saw me wearing this?" and the second, and most important is, "would I feel okay if Jesus saw me wearing this?" Also, it is a person's own fault if he or she sins. But remember "...remove the plank from your own eye..."? We must combat our own sins before we tackle someone else's.

    I'm not 100% positive that all of this sounds logical, and it is a bit wordy, but it's just some thoughts I think we need to consider as Children of God.
    Also, if it's going to start a heated debate, don't even bother commenting about this. Unless we can have calm, loving discussions, I'm out of here.
    SB
    @ deeks
    on Friday, August 2, 2013 at 9:51 am
    This is part of the John MaCarthur article that really opened my eyes to the whole pearls, golden jewelry, and braided hair. I'm not condemning u if u believe differently but this is my view. :)
    Now Paul, let me say this, is not saying that women ought to come to church tacky or slovenly or sloppy or indifferent. He is not saying that. He is not saying that they should not be nicely dressed. He has just finished saying that they ought to come with a right preparation which assumes that they would be properly dressed, in a way that is becoming both to the grace and beauty of a woman and to the purpose and intent of worshiping God. But as the tendency of men was to perhaps dissent and quarrel and maybe carry a grudge and maybe dirty their hands in the things of life and come with their sins, the tendency of a woman might be to be preoccupied with her outward adornment so that she would abuse the worship service.

    Now let me give you a little idea of what the culture was like and where these things might come from. There was a man by the name of Juvenal who lived about 40 to...about 60 to 140 A.D. He was a poet and he has written many things that we have found and so we get a little characterization of that time in the Roman Empire by reading his writing. In one document that has been found, he wrote this: "There is nothing that a woman will not permit herself to do. Nothing that she deems shameful. And when she encircles her neck with green emeralds and fastens huge pearls to her elongated ears, so important is the business of beautification. So numerous are the tiers and stories piled one another on her head that she pays no attention to her own husband," end quote.

    Now Juvenal gives us a little insight into women who were preoccupied with their appearance. And certainly we would agree today that our culture is preoccupied with that. Our culture has the cult of worshiping the human anatomy and worshiping fashion and worshiping hairdos. I mean, it's just...it's our culture. And if the church today falls influence to that system, why should we expect anything different in the early church? It's always the world system that endeavors to encroach on the church and tragically the church sooner or later seems to welcome that encroachment. There were women in the church in that time whose life was frankly centered on their appearance, as there are women today in the church who have that same mentality. They come to church with the intent of making an elaborate display of their clothing and their hairdo.

    In Philo's description of a prostitute which is quite interesting in his writing called "The Sacrifices of Cain and Abel," he writes this, "A prostitute is often described as having hair dressed in elaborate braids, her eyes with pencil lines, her eyebrows smothered in paint and her expensive clothes embroidered lavishly with flowers and bracelets and necklaces of gold and jewels hanging all over her," end quote.

    Now in that particular culture then the woman of the world, the woman who wanted to flaunt her wealth and flaunt her beauty and call attention to herself and attract everybody's interest and sexually allure someone was the woman who was overdressed, over-made up and over painted in every sense. Now this was the woman of the world. This marked out the prostitute or the garish gaudy lavish kind of person. And what the Apostle Paul is saying, that cannot come into a worship service without being an overt statement--Folks, I'm not here to worship God, I'm here to attract your attention. That's his intent.
    Amber
    To all who have argued over this
    on Wednesday, August 7, 2013 at 1:57 pm
    Excuse me, but did any of you ever think of going into debate in high school or college??! You all have made some good points, but let's use our knowledge a little wiser. Please
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    @M
    on Monday, August 12, 2013 at 12:00 pm
    You’ll find Jessica’s swimwear here, friend: http://www.reyswimwear.com/
    Deeks
    @SB
    on Tuesday, August 13, 2013 at 5:09 pm
    Thank you SB. x

    Also to the girl that said that her boyfriend stares at other girls that are half naked. That just shows that he doesn't respect you. And then the fact that he does it right in front of you shows that he doesn't care about what you think or your feelings. I don't understand why girls our age feel the need to be in relationships with boys that will make them feel insecure about themselves. Really, what is the point?
    TinyZebra
    Re: Deeks
    on Tuesday, August 13, 2013 at 9:25 pm
    Well he must really disrespect me if we've been together for longer than 2 and a half years lol. I'm just messing with you tho. I understand you are just trying to make sure I'm not someone in a bad relationship who needs a reality check. Thanks for watching out for me :)
    There were plenty of guys there with less clothes on. And they caught my attention several times. Does that mean I respect my guy any less? No, of course not.
    TinyZebra
    having a girl moment..
    on Wednesday, August 14, 2013 at 12:12 am
    i could slap myself for not realizing that the bathing suits were Audrey-inspired!!! (especially when it was already mentioned) I loooooove her! And they were all so cute; no frumpiness whatsoever <3 I got really excited to see that there was a style for a different character she has played :))) im so happy I found this through here!
    rufonious
    Bikinis & short shorts
    on Saturday, December 14, 2013 at 11:10 am
    Hello, I have a couple of neighbours in the 40-50 age group. One parades around in her tie-on bikini; her garden is overlooked by neighbours. The other walks her dog around the streets in shorts which leave nothing to the imagination. Why do women display their goods so?
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    @rufonious
    on Monday, December 16, 2013 at 2:26 pm
    Immodesty is indeed increasingly rampant in our land. Oh, that the women of God – those who have placed their faith in Jesus – would rise up…reflecting Christ in all areas of their lives, including modesty attire.

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