A Single Guy's Thoughts

What does a single Christian man look for a in a wife? Hear one guy's perspective . . .
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Let's Talk About It

Are you playing with dollar-store baubles when God is offering you a gold locket instead?
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Who's Having The Best Sex?

Does practice make perfect when it comes to great sex? Or is it best to wait? The answer may surprise you.
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Is "Born-Again Virginity" Possible?

Once someone has lost their virginity, can it ever be reclaimed? Is it possible to be a "born-again virgin"?
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Bachelor Buzz: Is Virginity "Ridiculous"?

The culture may call God's standards ridiculous, but God's Word writes a different story.
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Over-Guarding Your Heart

Could over-guarding your heart cause you to miss out on a basic truth of the gospel?
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Confessions Of A Single Girl

Is there more to life than romance? Hear the good—and the bad—about singleness and preparing for marriage.
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More Than Waiting Well

When it comes to love, I want you to wait well. But waiting well doesn't work like a magic formula.
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Worth The Wait

Stephanie knows what it's like to wait for love. And she knows the rewards of waiting with her eyes on Jesus.
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Best Of: I've Got A Fever And The Only Cure Is . . .

Here is your spring survival kit—a few doses of God's Word to help you wait for love in the right season.
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Best Of: A List Of Prayers For Your Future Husband

Have you ever thought that your future husband is out in the world somewhere? What can you do to help him?
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Best Of: "Boy-Crazy Girl" Video Shoot

I think I was born boy-crazy! But I was trapped in a perpetual cycle of neediness, disappointment, and pain.
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Best Of: Looking For "The One"

The idea that there's one person out there for us is certainly a romantic one. But I'm not sure it's biblical.
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Best Of: I Need A Boyfriend

When you look to a relationship with a guy to make you happy, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
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Best Of: Are You Hinting?

God’s standard for purity isn’t as simple as a big black line just before sex. The truth is, it’s much higher.
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Best Of: Low-Cut Shirts And Turtlenecks

Do your fashion choices matter? Here's a guy's perspective on the topic . . .
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Best Of: To Date Or Not To Date?

Does God care if you date? Does He care who you date? Is dating even okay?
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A Story Of Hurt And Healing

Girl meets boy. Boy falls in love—with someone else. Been there? Find encouragement through this story.
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So Long Hollywood Man

Is there anything else out there besides the Hollywood male? Do honorable gentleman still exist?

Where Have All The Good Guys Gone?

Sometimes we look down our nose at great men because they aren't perfect men.

Whatever You Do, Don't Fall In Love

What advice does the Bible give specifically about falling in love? Glad you asked.
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Back To The Book: I Need A Boyfriend

Most girls say they would feel better about themselves if they had attention from a guy. But that feeling isn't the whole problem . . .
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Waiting For Love: The Rest Of The Story

Does thirty-two years seem impossible to wait for a boyfriend or for something else that you desire? It will be if you are not desiring, trusting, and surrendering to God's perfect plan for your life.
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An Old Maid In Waiting

Alarming as it may sound, I had to wait thirty-two years before dating my husband, Micah, who happened to be my first (and only) boyfriend. Yes, thirty-two years! Back in the day, I'd definitely be labeled an old maid or maybe even an "old, old, doomed maid."
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Does God Still Reveal Whom We Should Marry?

When God wants to, He is capable of revealing exactly when and whom we should marry. But is that His standard operating procedure? Should single gals (and guys) everywhere be looking for a sign or waiting for God to download the name and location of a future spouse directly into their brains?
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What Kind Of Guy Should You Date?

What kind of guy should you date? We figured that to find the answer to that question, we'd better ask a guy. . .
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Are Guys Worshiping You?

When you do not live out your purpose, guys end up worshiping YOU rather than God. But your purpose is not to replace God or be God, but rather to show guys what God is like so that GOD will be worshiped, not you.
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Stop Thinking Of That Boy By Loving Him?

Girls, we do the strangest things! When we are trying to get over a boy, one of our most natural responses is to turn him into the kind of person we wouldn't even want to date. We start thinking bitter thoughts toward him in an attempt to stop admiring him so much.
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When You Can't Stop Thinking of Someone

I couldn't stop thinking about this boy, so I knew I definitely had a serious problem with idolatry. And so the journey began. I had to figure out how get rid of this idol somehow. I had to find a way to control my thoughts.
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Not What I Was Expecting, Part 2

God knows what we need and would love to give it to us if we ask. This doesn't mean, however, that He is a genie in a bottle who will give you everything you ask for. He might just give you something that better aligns with His goal of making you who He created you to be.
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Not What I Was Expecting

Has God done something unexpected in your love life? Has He asked you to wait when you'd rather been dating or dropped a great guy in your lap when you least expected it?
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I've Got A Fever And The Only Cure Is . . .

No one knows what it is about spring that gets us all revved up for love, but I know that for a girl committed to God's plan for her love life a sudden burst of romantic feelings can be painfully tough to deal with. So here is your spring survival kit—a few doses of God's Word to temper your heart as you wait for love in the right season.
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When He Butters You Up . . .

Over the years, guys' words have played a huge role in worming their way into my thoughts and affections. They've caused my heart to race in the moment and made me feel desired and loved. But now, I recognize that they weren't written and said in the language of love, but in the counterfeit language of lust.
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Steps Toward Removing An Idol

I know removing an idol from your life might be hard and uncomfortable, but God commands us to "love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength" and to "do all things to the glory of God." So if we aren't doing that, then we aren't going to be happy and satisfied.
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The Story Of A Girl And Her Idol

Laura didn't become obsessed by her guy all at once; it was a slow process of allowing her mind to dwell on thoughts about him more and more until one day she thought about him 24/7.
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Being The Right Person For Love

Erin and her husband, Jason, weigh in on being the right person for true love in this video blog.

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How Can I Know If A Person Loves Me?

True love isn't easy to define, and it isn't always easy to recognize. Our feelings can be especially tricky in this area. We can feel something that seems like love only to discover later that it was something closer to lust or infatuation. If we can't trust our feelings, how can we know if someone truly loves us?

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What Is Love?

I wish I could boil love down into a single, simple definition. If I could, I would most certainly have a hit song on my hands! But love is a complex emotion, and it involves so much more than our feelings. Fortunately when looking for love, God's Word provides all the wisdom we need.

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What Love Isn't

Love. It's makes the world go round, right? But what is love exactly? And what does God's Word say about the kind of love we should be looking for and living out?

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Yep, Romance Is God's Idea

Romance is God's idea, and there is some very romantic stuff found right in the Word of God. But not all romance is the same. And not all forms of love are God-honoring.
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Uncompromising: So, About Guys

Yeah. You know you're excited about this topic. Don't try and tell me otherwise. We all want to know what to do about relationships. So how do we wade through the courtship and dating and purity rings, and get at the heart of purity? What does purity look like? And how do we get it?
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What if I've blown it?

I wish that none of you had to wrestle with the pain caused by messing up in the area of romance, but since so many of you have bravely shared that you've made mistakes, I wanted to write a post to give you hope.
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How far is too far?

Some of you have decided not to kiss until marriage. Others think kissing is okay. Some of you have said you will only hold hands. Others choose a different line. Some of you have realized you've gone too far physically only after the damage has been done. That's why I think it's wise to know how far you're willing to go long before you ever have the opportunity to act. But ... how far is too far?
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Is it okay to date just for fun?

One of you recently asked, “Is it okay to date just for fun?” In a word—yes.The Bible doesn’t specifically condemn dating. That being said, I think there is a more important question we should be asking. Is it wise to date just for fun? In two words—maybe not.
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Ask Erin: "How do I interact with guys just as a friend?"

At the beginning of this month, I asked you to tell me your most burning questions when it comes to guys and romance. One question that popped up often was, "How do I interact with guys just as a friend/Christian sister?" We also saw a lot of a similar question: "Is it okay to become friends with a guy to see if they'd make a good husband?"

I am so glad you're asking these questions! I want you to understand the difference between standing firm in your commitment to purity (a very, very good thing) and being standoffish toward the guys in your life (not such a good thing).

Freedom From the Need for a Boyfriend

Let me introduce you to my friend, Brita. For years she struggled with the ramifications of believing the lie "I need a boyfriend." The good news is Lies Young Women Believe played an important role in exposing this lie in Brita's life and pointing her toward truth. Since I know a few of you are wrestling with this lie as well, I invited Brita to share her story.
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I Need a Boyfriend

When you look to a relationship with a guy to make you happy, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. If you are using dating (and marriage in the future) as a means to validate your worth, the consequences will be even more severe.
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When You Don't Have a Valentine

If you're struggling with feelings of loss, anxiety, loneliness, or frustration this Valentine's Day, this post is for you. I want to encourage you not to dwell on your negative feelings about romance. (And don't even think about eating an entire box of Valentine's chocolate all by yourself!) Instead, turn your heart toward these specific truths straight out of God's Word.
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Ask Erin: "How can I stay emotionally pure?"

God asks us to be in complete control of our thought life. We don't get a permission slip to keep our actions pure but to allow our thoughts to dwell on love and romance and intimacy outside of God's timing.

Why I Won't Pursue a Guy (Part 1)

Recently, I was encouraging a friend not to initiate Facebook chats with a guy who is interested in getting to know her, but to wait to respond to his lead. My advice sounded so strange, even to my own ears. So I decided to sit down and actually write out the reasons why I don't pursue men and why I don't think any other woman should. Are you ready for them?

Man Whisperer vs. True Woman

"NEW DATING BOOK Says Feminism Ruins Relationships, Women Can Stop Men from Cheating," read the headline of the December 8th Fox News article. "First there was the dog whisperer. Then there was the ghost whisperer. Now comes the controversial new dating and relationship guide: The Man Whisperer." I was hooked.

Are crushes okay?

There is one question that has been asked on this blog more than any other—are crushes okay? It seems that many of you are serious about your commitment to remain physically pure until your wedding day, but that hasn't stopped your heart from racing when a certain fella walks into the room. And you're wondering, Are these feelings okay?
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What's the Difference Between Courtship and Dating?

week, I asked you to give me your most burning love questions. You did! More than 100 of you left us a comment with a question about love and romance. 

Is it okay to date non-Christians?

I understand the temptation to believe that dating non-Christians is okay. In fact, I get why so many young women have been deceived into thinking that it is a potentially wonderful missions opportunity. But since I now understand how important it is that we understand God's truth on this subject, I decided to recruit a friend of mine to be a voice of reason. Here's what he had to say . . .

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To Date or Not to Date?

The blog has been buzzing on the topic of dating. Some of you have come to the site seeking advice on the subject and several of you have weighed in with some great thoughts! It is obvious you are wondering, does God care if you date? Does He care who you date? Is dating even okay? If you’re among the young women asking these questions, you are not alone.
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I Want What They Have

I think every girl has felt a tinge of longing after being around loving couples or watching a great romance unfold on the big screen. But it isn't always harmless to want what others have in the area of romance.
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Will he be a good husband?

I think it is great advice to stop looking for the perfect guy and to ask God to bring you a fella who is working toward becoming more like Jesus. But how will you know if an imperfect guy will make a great husband?

The Jesus Standard

If you're waiting for a guy who is without sin, communicates perfectly, and has his faith all figured out, it's going to be a long wait.

What advice would you give a friend with a broken heart?

What advice would you give a friend whose heart has been broken by a guy?

Do Your Man Some Good

The idea that a godly woman is supposed to be a blessing to her husband isn't new. But I'd never considered when that blessing should start.
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He Must Bear Fruit

Is he the one? You can't just trust your feelings and you shouldn't assume the answer is yes, just because a guy is a Christian. But the Bible does give clear insight into what a godly husband will be.

He Must Pray

Choosing whom you will marry is more than selecting who will look great standing at the end of an aisle in a tux. When tough times come, you need to align yourself with someone who understands the importance of prayer.

He Must Be a Leader

The bottom line is that God knew what He was doing when He outlined biblical marriage. Having a guy who can make tough decisions and is learning to lead like Jesus is far better than trying to run the show ourselves.

Is he the one?

Is being a Christian all that God requires of your future mates? Does that automatically make a guy good husband material? Does God's Word have anything else to say on the subject?  
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Are You A Flirt?

Take an honest assessment of your own behavior. Would you fit in well with the women of Zion? Do you use clothing, body language and attitude to draw attention to yourself and your femininity?
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Should Girls Pursue Guys?

Have you ever considered what it means to be a girl? Have you ever contrasted our culture’s definition of girlhood with the one presented in God’s Word? If not, I want you to challenge you to turn your thinking toward gender. It’s so important for you to realize what the Designer intended when He created you. Specifically, I want you to consider if it's wise for girls to pursue guys or if it should be the other way around.  

Is it Okay to Date Just for Fun?

One of you recently asked, “Is it okay to date just for fun?” In a word—yes. The Bible doesn’t specifically condemn dating. That being said, I think there is a more important question we should be asking. Is it wise to date just for fun? In two words—maybe not.

Celebrating the gift of singleness

When you think or talk about singleness, do you use words like “celebrate,” “delicious freedom,” and “gift”?

I Found Your Perfect Man in Tennessee

As you know, I’m blogging live this weekend from the True Woman Conference in Chattanooga, TN. I’m excited to report that during the first session tonight I found your perfect man. 
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Can Marriage Stay Sweet for 20 Years?

Can marriage stay sweet for 20 years? Let Dannah tell you.
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Dannah's NYC Romance Continues...

If you posted for our giveaway, you may have guessed that Meg Ryan was the actress (opposite Tom Hanks) in ‘You’ve Got Mail,” my favorite romantic comedy. However, that is not Meg Ryan or Tom Hanks in the picture to the left. It’s me and Bob! He had a friend Photoshop us into the DVD cover art. He even had our friend take the movies starring canine, “Brinkley,” out of the photo and added my own labradoodle, “Stormie!” Our winner of the contest posted for a copy of And the Bride Wore White and a $10 card for Starbucks, selected by random drawing, is Jessica Baarbe.  

And now you know that my 20th anniversary celebration was a three-day trip to New York City with a “You’ve Got Mail” theme. Can you think of anything more romantic?

Can Pencils Be Romantic?

I got a bouquet of newly-sharpened pencils for my twentieth wedding anniversary. It was one of the most romantic gifts my husband has ever given to me. In fact, I wish every single one of you a twentieth wedding anniversary celebration half as romantic. I believe God dreams for marriages to be this sweet twenty years after they begin.
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Freedom from the need for a boyfriend

One "Lies Young Women Believe" reader opens up about finding freedom from the need for a boyfriend.
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I Need a Boyfriend

Would you feel better about your life if you had a boyfriend?

Do you feel better about yourself when you get attention from a boy?

Brienne Murk stops by to talk about “Eyes Wide Open”

Is there such a thing as emotional promiscuity?

Is possible to be physically pure but emotionally promiscuous?
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Does Twilight Lead to an Unholy Fantasy Life?

Here’s one of my beefs with this series…it seems that focusing on Bella and Edward’s romance can lead to an unholy fantasy life. I’ve personally witnessed what can only be touted asvEdwardmania among many of the young women I know. Edward (the story’s vampire protagonist) is admired by young women as the ultimate standard for a boyfriend.

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Are Crushes Okay?

There is one question that has been asked on this blog more than any other—are crushes okay? It seems that many of you are serious about your commitment to remain physically pure until your wedding day, but that hasn’t stopped your heart from racing when a certain fella walks into the room. And you’re wondering “are these feelings okay?”

I’ve read your questions, and realized that this is an important topic for many of you, but I’ve stayed silent for one big reason—I wasn’t sure how to answer. If I’m being honest, I have to admit that I feel as conflicted as many of you seem to.

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Are you "hinting"? A second look at God’s purity standard.

According to a recent study, “ teens may be replacing intercourse with more alternatives they perceive as safer. For example more than 50 percent of U.S. teens ages 15 to 19 have engaged in oral sex. This number increases to almost 70 percent for those who are 18 and 19.

And it doesn’t stop there. The girls we talked to admitted that while they weren’t having sex, they didn’t see much harm in being sexual through the way that they dressed, the way they communicated with boys (even those who were “just friends”) and the way they presented themselves through text-messaging and online.

Is it okay to date non-Christians?

    Lately, there has been some discussion on this blog about whether or not it is okay for Christians to date non-Christians. We encountered this same conversation over and over as we did research for Lies Young Women Believe. In fact this is one of the 25 lies addressed directly in the book.

    The girls involved in the research phase of this book told us things like:

     • “ I really want to marry a Christian, but I’m not looking for marriage right now, so I don’t really care.”

     • “ I don’t really think it matters if the guys I date are Christians or not. For one, we’re just in high school. I don’t really think that religion is an         issue right now.”

     • “ If you plant a seed, it can make a beautiful flower. You’re spreading God’s word, whether it works out or not. If you can compromise, think         about it…you can impact a non-Christian.”

Some of you have made similar comments here on the blog. Specifically, it seems that some of you are wondering if it’s okay to date non-Christians. The short answer to your question is no. God’s Word urges us not to link our lives with non-believers and the consequences of choosing to do otherwise can be disastrous.
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The Lie that didn't make the book: Its just fashion!

Recently, several of you have been duking it out right here on the blog about the topic of fashion—specifically cleavage! Many of you are adamant that low cut shirts and short skirts are fine. Others disagree.  In fact, the debate has gotten so heated; that many of your comments haven’t made the blog because the way you presented your arguments was enough to make me blush (and believe me, I am not easily shocked or embarrassed).
    What’s interesting is that so much debate has been sparked on a topic that we barely mention in the book. But we certainly do want you understand the truth about modesty and the destructive power of immodesty. So, let’s talk about it.
    Dannah Gresh is the co-author of “Lies Young Women Believe. She is also the author of “Secret Keeper” a little book that has a lot to say about this subject. She addressed these very issues in an article for Brio Magazine several years ago. Let’s take a look. 
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Low cut shirts and turtlenecks: A guy's perspective on all the fashion hype

    There has been a lot of discussion here on the site about whether or not our fashion choices matter. Erin sat down with 18-year-old Scott Kirchner to get a guy's perspective on the topic. Here's what he had to say.
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To Date or Not to Date?

The blog has been buzzing on the topic of dating. Some of you have come to the site seeking advice on the subject and several of you have weighed in with some great thoughts! It is obvious you are wondering…does God care if you date? Does He care who you date? Is dating even okay? If you’re among the young women asking these questions, you are not alone.
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