Modesty & Back-to-School Shopping

posted by Dannah Gresh on 08/03/09
Category: Myself; ; 44 comments

Okay, first some fun news. This fall, the must have is anything plaid. If you like to be in fashion, head to your favorite store and buy some funky plaids! You'll have everything you need to be ready for fall 2009.

Now, a loving reminder. Let me start with an interesting email that I got from a young single woman who expressed the crisis many of us face:

"I'm 23 and was raised in a Christian home where modesty was taught. It wasn't until my college years that I began to realize how attractive men found my 4'9", 98-pound body. Suddenly I had their attention. I work with the youth at my church, and my pastor's wife has mentioned to me on several occasions that my skirts are too short or my shirts cut too low. But I always retaliate by saying I'm not going to dress like my grandma, and if a guy can't look at me without thinking of sex, that's his problem."

Been there? Thought that? Me too. Many times the ways I've dressed as a single and as a married woman have flown in the face of a man's attempt to live in holiness before God ... and, if he's married, in faithfulness to his wife. How that grieves me as I've become more aware of how fragile men are in this area! Social science reveals a man's sexual response is initiated by his autonomic nervous system (ANS), which isn't controlled by the will, but by the environment. If a man sees a woman walk by wearing revealing clothing, his ANS can be activated. The brain then sends chemicals rushing through his body. He may notice the change in his pulse and his body temperature. While many men override these responses in a godly manner, they can't control their initial intoxicating reaction to an immodestly dressed woman. God intends for a man to enjoy this intoxicating power, but through only one woman—his wife.

Heart of Darkness?
First Corinthians 10:32 says, "Do not cause anyone to stumble." What an uncomfortable challenge when it comes to fashion! But the problem with immodesty isn't just about causing our Christian brothers to stumble; it's also about our craving for the emotional rush we receive when we know we're being noticed. As the root of a man's sexual sin often is linked with the visual, so ours is connected to the emotional.

I still struggle with the temptation to accept the world's standards for fashion, but now I carry with me an awareness of the responsibility I have as a woman created to be intoxicating to one man, Bob. I've not only had to rearrange my wardrobe, but also my heart. Change hasn't come easily for me; even years after I'd thrown away a mass of immodest clothes and was asked to write a book on modesty, I resisted. When I got down to the root of the feeling, I was afraid God might ask me to change my unclean heart. And He did.

While I don't conform to legalistic views about fashion, I do conform to the Holy Spirit's conviction. As I've embraced those promptings, I've discovered a few things that have helped me take the high road in this skin-is-in society. Maybe you can try these on as you head out to buy a back-to-school wardrobe!

Discuss your wardrobe with your dad or an older brother. Since I travel nationwide to speak with teen girls about sexual purity, I own some travel-friendly, trendy outfits, including a sheer blouse I used to wear over a black tank top. My husband often challenged me about it, but I resisted him, saying it was "a style everyone else was wearing" and "it never looks sexual to me." But a year ago, I removed it from my wardrobe as an act of obedience to God. Recently I received an email in which a woman lovingly confronted me about that specific outfit she'd seen me previously wearing on national television. Ouch!
Invite a friend over to clean out your closet. If you feel even a twinge of conviction as you read this, I'd encourage you to have a "fashion trashin' party." Invite a girlfriend over and trash anything from your closet that's questionable. Your friend's there for the things you're not sure about. Whatever she says is questionable goes.
Reward yourself with a shopping spree. Once you've rid your closet of those questionable items, grab your girlfriend and go shopping to replace what you've discarded. If you're into trendy stuff, this could be tough (I searched for three months last summer for a trendy little sundress and never found one that wasn't way too "little"). But there are tricks that enable me to wear most of the trendy stuff without compromising. If you absolutely fall in love with a shirt that's too low-cut or too sheer, try a simple T-shirt under it. Buy these together with the promise they'll be worn that way.
Spend time focusing positively on what your body truly is. If you've accepted Jesus Christ's forgiveness and made Him your Lord, God dwells within you: "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body" (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Each time you choose which clothes to wear you're decorating the temple of the living God. Memorize that verse, and pack it in your heart before you head out to spend cold hard cash this month!

Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

serving HIM!!!

insight anywhere????
on Monday, August 3, 2009 at 10:15 am

This was such a perfect devo for me!!!! i struggle with the modesty topic (not as in I dress immodestly, but how guys minds work)... its really complicated because even the SUPER Christian guys I'm friends with have struggled with it..... does any body have any real life info here??? It's easy to say "oh their just perverted" but the more i've learned it seems like a day to day battle for them..... Also, i would recommend the book "For Young WOmen Only'.... that helped lots.... For His Glory!!

LaSara

Re:
on Monday, August 3, 2009 at 1:45 pm

I have been struggling and worrying I might not be a christian though I have cried to God asking that I could be one of His sheep. Then at times I don't feel like I'm as christian when I act like myself or get something. I want to know truly that I'm a christian. I want to believe and follow God with my whole heart. This struggle has been hard. Any advice?

Thanks
LaSara

Kori

Re:
on Monday, August 3, 2009 at 2:25 pm

Thanks for such a great post!
I especially appreciate the part about getting your dad or brother to check out your clothes. It's been really helpful for me, and though I might disagree about a certain outfit, it makes sense that I can trust my dad's judgment, since he is a guy, after all. :)

kailey

fashion vs. modesty
on Monday, August 3, 2009 at 4:09 pm

i am a total fashionista! i know exactly whats hot and whats not at all times and i can tell anybody what clothes would look great on their body type. the only problem with that is that its sometimes hard to find clothes that are both pretty, fashion-forward, AND modest.
however, im usually pretty good at finding cute, modest, and fashionable clothes. there are also some great covering alternatives to popular styles
rather than buying short-shorts, try buying bermudas. (if you dont know, bermudas are shorts that touch your knee or almost touch you knee). bermudas are cool, comfy, modest, and actually are VERY fashionable, (especially in denim and plaid)
if you find a shirt that fits really good and is really cute, but is too low cut, try putting a cami under it, camis fit under other shirts better than the average t-shirt and they always make low-cut shirts more modest, (lucky for us, camis under clothes is a perfectly accepted fashion statement)
a few things to avoid are jeans that say things like super-low-rise, and Hip-hugger. for one thing, there is a very small percent of girls who actually look good in super-low-rise jeans because they actually make your legs look SHORTER, which you dont want, and they are VERY seldom modest. (im not saying there isnt a body-type that they are modest on, but its rare)
hip-huggers are popular for some body types, though rarely modest, (and if you arent naturally curvy, they probaly wont look good on you anyway)
skinny-jeans are pretty popular. dont assume that just cuz it says skinny means its gonna be too tight, they can actually be really cute and modest on a lot of people, and if you arent naturally curvy, they do make you look curvier, the important thing with skinny jeans is that you might have to go a size higher that normal for a good fit, dont be afraid to do that.

Ali Thomason

wow!
on Monday, August 3, 2009 at 4:52 pm

this is an amazing blog!! i struggle with wearing non-revealing clothes.... i always wore camis's that i thought were okay, but everytime i had to bend over, i would have to cover my chest with my hand!! my parents finally grew tired of reminding me to pull up my shirt. we looked everywhere for a high cami that i could wear, but apparently the retail world has something against modesty! i thought that my parents would give up and let me wear my old camis, but they had something else in mind! they took me to a store and bought me a *boys* undershirt!! i was apalled! (sp) it only shows an inch of skin past the collarbone, and i was mad! i came up with every excuse imagineable. "no one wheres these!" "it wont look good with my long necklaces!" "people will see its a guys shirt!".... after much complaining i gave up.
since then i have realized that it doesnt matter if im wearing a boys shirt, or if it isnt "the in style". i feel happy to be following God's commandment of being modest(: and i've truly learned that modest is hottest!! :D

Princess

Thanks for the tip!
on Monday, August 3, 2009 at 6:19 pm

That's good advice! :-)

Larissa

Re:
on Monday, August 3, 2009 at 11:56 pm

This blog was an amazing encouragement to me! I look forward to every new blog that is published because it's nice to be reminded that it's ok to be different. When I got saved recently I stopped wearing revealing clothes and it's been hard, people talk about me behind my back just because I want to be modest.But also I grew up in a home where legalistic clothing was a must but I no longer believe that for me I need to be that strict. I just feel caught between two worlds and some days I just feel very alone.

doubts about salvation
on Tuesday, August 4, 2009 at 11:00 am

IF YOUR DOUBTING YOUR SALVATION TALK TO YOUR PARENTS!!
I WAS IN THIS SIDUATION AND I DIDN'T WANT MY PARENTS TO KNOW! BUT THEN THEY FOUND OUT. YOU SEE GOD WAS SHOWING ME TO GO TO MY PARENTS WHEN I AM STRUGGLING WITH SOMETHING. EXPECILLY WHEN YOUR DOUBTING! HE SHOWED ME THAT THATS WHY HE GAVE US PARENTS SO THEY CAN HELP US DRAW CLOSER TO HIM! TRUST ME WHEN I GOT SAVED THEN AND THERE I FELT AS IF GOD HAD TAKEN ALL MY BURDENS AWAY! SO WHY WAIT TALK TO YOUR PARENTS TODAY!

Kristen

Lasara
on Tuesday, August 4, 2009 at 2:21 pm

Hi Lasara,

I just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you. If you have confessed your sins before God, and accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior, you are indeed saved. That's all there is to it.

Romans 10:9 says "that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved."

1 John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Jesus loves you. If you have truly confessed your sins, and if you have faith in Him, you are a Christian. Once you believe in Jesus, your life will be changed. You will want to please God, and when you act yourself, the Holy Spirit will be shining through you because your body, as a believer, is a Temple of God. You will put down the things of this world, and take up the things of Jesus. I pray that Jesus will reveal all of His truths to you, and that, if you truly have confessed your sins to God, and proclaimed Jesus as your Savior, you will be comforted and feel God's love and presence in your life.

Love you!

Kori

Responding to LaSara
on Tuesday, August 4, 2009 at 8:32 pm

LaSara,
I know how it is to struggle with doubts -- it's hard! I've prayed for you, :) and here are a couple of things that helped me.
Was there a time that you realized that you were a sinner who deserved to be punished by God and could only be saved through Jesus' work on the cross? If there was, and if you asked Him to save you, then He did, regardless of whether you "feel" saved. :) Also, has your life changed at all since you've made a profession of faith? If sin bothers you and you want to please God, then those are some good indicators of whether or not you are saved.
John 10:28-29 -- nothing can remove us from God's hand. (These verses encouraged me.)
I hope this helps.
God bless!
Kori

Emily

Re: LaSara
on Wednesday, August 5, 2009 at 1:17 am

Hey LaSara!

First off, thank you for sharing your struggle with us! I hope that we can help you understand...

You mentioned worrying about not being a Christian. Let me tell you that if you have aked Jesus to come into your heart and you have asked forgiveness of your sins, you are one of HIS sheep. As Christians are actions, often times do not reflect the life of Jesus as it should. But that does not mean that we are not Christians, it just means we have failed to keep His command. And we have to ask forgiveness, and ask Him to help us do better next time. :)

The Bible says, "For All have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God, But are JUSTIFIED by His Grace." So remember this, you are not alone, and God's Grace is sufficient for you regardless of what you do.

I am praying for you! :)

Re: LaSara
on Wednesday, August 5, 2009 at 7:56 am

Nothing is wrong with you, dear. Once saved, always saved, you don't lose your salvation. Also, Christ says that whoso cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out. So if you came to Him and He's rejected you, that would make Him to be a liar which we know cannot be. He could never lie.

John 15:4-5 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

Abide in Christ. Read His words. It's like the cartoon of the guy who hooked up his mind to the Bible but never read it and got all frustrated cause his mind transformation experiment didn't work. Then someone asked him why don't you try reading it?!

Ashley

To LaSarah
on Wednesday, August 5, 2009 at 9:10 am

Wow. I know what you are going through. Last November I felt that I was NOT a Christian- like I had strayed away from God and just felt very very miserable about it. Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night and wonder "if the rapture happened right now, would I go to heaven?" then one night I couldn't take it anymore and just went into the bathroom and started crying. All of a sudden, God started talking to me and this is what He said:
Ashley, why have you taken so long to come to me? I've been waiting for years for a serious chat. You've been letting things like music, friends, thoughts, school, and lately money get in the front of our relationship. I know you are realizing what a horrible life it is away from Me. "Pleasure" may only be pleasure for a short time. It's an empty life and you see it by looking at Britney and Paris. I'm so glad you are finally deciding to be My child again. I've been waiting so long. The end of the world is getting closer and I have so much for you to do. So get busy studying My Word, praying, and being a servant. Always be willing to do what I want you to do. And if you're ever scared or nervous, talk to Me and I will help you out.

After I wrote that all down, I decided to write my mom a letter and tell her that I felt like I wasn't a Christian and just a bad kid. I decided to give it to her in the morning. All of a sudden she knocked on the bathroom door and I knew I had to talk to her that night. Together we prayed.
I now have assurance that I am a Christian.

There's a verse in the Bible that says if you seek God with all of your heart, you will find Him. That's exactly what I did. I would pour my saddened heart to God and He would direct me to certain Bible verses to help me with what I was going through.
All of that to say, keep going, pour out your heart to God and just cry. Study the Bible. Seek God with all of your heart and you will find Him.
I hope at least part of that was helpful and I'm sorry it's long.

LaSara

Re:
on Wednesday, August 5, 2009 at 3:18 pm

Thanks so much everyone for your sweet replies to my comment. So if ask God to be one of his sheep and truly mean it then that means your one of his no matter what? Because sometimes I panic and despair.
Once again everyone thank you and keep praying for me!

Ali Thomason

RE: lasarah
on Thursday, August 6, 2009 at 12:04 am

im sorry to hear of your struggles =(
i beleieve there are 4 steps to salvation
step 1-believe. hebrews 11:6 says "but without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He rewards those who dilligently seek him" by asking for advice, you are showing that you believe(:
step 2- confess. 1 John 4:15 says "whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God" by confessing your sins before men, you are showing that you're humble and fully trusting God.
step 3- repent. Acts 8:22 tells us "repent therefore of this your wickedness, and pray God if perhaps the thought of your heart may be forgiven you" repentance is showing you will change your ways of sinful nature (not that you're acting bad, its just what the scripture means:)
step 4-baptism. Acts 22:16 says "and now why are you waiting? arise and be baptized, and wash away your sins, calling on the name of the lord" baptism is washing away your former sins and becoming a new person in Christ(:
(btw Acts 2:38 supports both steps 2&3 as well:)
(*btw again Hebrews6:4-6 and Hebrews10:26-27 both state that salvation can be lost)

i hope this helps!
god bless!

SweetPea

I'm new here
on Thursday, August 6, 2009 at 2:35 pm

So okay I'm 14 and have a friend whose 12 she quit being friends with a girl I don't know and who actually isn't a virgin. So sad. Please pray for that girl. My friend said she'd leave tracts on her door even though she'll probably throw them out!

Kailey~I have pink plaid bermudas and so addore them! They aren't shape fitting but they're girllish atractive. I've never wore anything tight fitting!

Ashely~ I've felt like that a week ago.

LaSarah~ One of the devil's best lies is this: You're not saved,you never will be,so stop worring and have some fun. Refuse his offer. Read the Bible! And tell yourself over and over again "I will not go so low as to believe his lie. God saved me. I just need to trust!" Hope it works.

Sarah

LaSara
on Thursday, August 6, 2009 at 3:24 pm

Hey!
I agree with HR...Once youv'e become a christian, you'll always be a christian...you may not make wise choices, but everybody does that. Whenever you come to a point in your life and your thinking "Okay..what's wrong with me?" Just ask God to help get you back on track. If it's something particular that you think is making you sin.....get away from it...I found that it always help to put away temptation...sometimes it's hard...but it's definately the right thing to do. With regards to clothing ...I've always done what's called the clothing check...first i look in the mirror and decide if there is to much clevage...and then I bend over. Because if there's stuff hanging out...its gonna show when you bend down. Also I sit down and ask my mom to look over my shoulder to see if she can see anything..if she can...any guy looking down at you can as well. Then I check to see if my pants are to tight or short...cause all that does is give guys less too imagine and more to visualize!

Hope all this helps! Your friend,
Sarah

Nicki

Modesty
on Friday, August 7, 2009 at 11:06 am

I had the same troubles many of you had finding camis. I was shopping at Forever21 the other day though and found the answer to my prayers, camis high enough that you can bend over without ANYTHING being exposed, and I mean anything. They had every color imaginable; including "off" colors(colors that are more unique). Theyre the perfect things to wear under looser lowcut shirts.
I find that if theres even a small area of my life that isnt completely surrendered to God, then my relationship with him suffers for it. If I cant give up a shirt for him, how can I give up my life to live for him?

Soledad Mercer

Modesty
on Friday, August 7, 2009 at 5:04 pm

I am thankful that you are talking about Modesty, because it is important to dress appropriatetly to glorify the Lord.

Gisele Mercer

Modesty
on Friday, August 7, 2009 at 5:11 pm

It is wonderful that you are talking about modesty. Girls need to know about this and they need to learn to dress for the Lord.

momo

modesty
on Friday, August 7, 2009 at 8:27 pm

WHAT MOST GIRLS BELIEVE!!!!!!!
i know that when i see a shirt with a low cut i think to myself thats not that low!! i could hide myself with a cami!
WELL, TO ME ALL A GUY WOULD HAVE TO DO IS PICTURE U WITH OUT THE CAMI! We don't have the same thoughts or mental pictures as guys do! Just forget about the shirt with a low cut and don't buy it! U don't know how hard it is for guys! they struggle with this a lot! Why not do them allllllllllllllll! a favor and for u the embarrasment, just find shirts that aren't low cut! TRUST ME ITS NOT HARD UNLESS U TRY TO FIND THE RIGHT CLOTHES!

SweetPea

To LaSarah
on Friday, August 7, 2009 at 10:53 pm

Yes LaSarah once saved your always saved even though it's a continual struggle.

SweetPea

Clothes
on Sunday, August 9, 2009 at 7:05 pm

Nikki~ Does Forever21 have a website? I wish I could find some decent camis. Thanks. My worst giving up is letting God direct my horse life when I want one and I only have calf.

Sarah~ Thats good how you do that. However when me and my mom shop on the internet we only see whats on the picture. Mom has a huge stash of material so if something is to low or to loose Mom sews it. My one lesson on the internet is: Make sure you can return <em>before</em> you buy and buy big before small.

Erin Davis

LaSara
on Monday, August 10, 2009 at 9:48 am

Wow! These girls have given you some great advice. I am especially thrilled that they have used God's Word to point you toward His Truth.

There are times when I tend toward doubt and despair as well. And you know what, you and i are in good company in that way. King David wrestled with doubt and fear. Peter certainly had his moments when He just didn't get the security that Jesus was promising him. And Thomas is famous for his doubting. But these are mighty people of God.

I don't think that doubt or despair are wrong. But you need to know what to do when those feelings come over you. There is one critical step--dig into God's Word! It is fine to ask the opinions of others, including your pastor or youth pastor, when these feelings come up, but the most important thing you can do is study God's Truth for yourself.

Hope this helps! Please let me know if I can answer any further questions.

Erin

Emily

LaSara
on Tuesday, August 11, 2009 at 8:47 am

I believe there is ONE step to salvation!!!!
*John 3:16 says, For God so loved the world he gave his only begotten son that whoever BELIEVES(!!!!!) in him has eternal life!
This states that you only need to believe in jesus Christ for eternal life!
*Ephesians 2:8 For by grace you have been saved through faith;and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God.
So once again the Bible clearly states that salvation is through faith,. There is no requirement to do anything else but, it is pleasing to God to take another step!
ps your salvation CANNOT be taken away from you! just as you can not go back into your mother's womb, you can not become unborn! you are and always will be God's princess!!!!!!

In Christ,
Emily

*

Nicki

Nicki
on Tuesday, August 11, 2009 at 8:50 am

hey,
How long ago was it that you found those camis????

chloe

Re:
on Thursday, August 13, 2009 at 9:05 pm

thankfully i've never had this problem becuz i've been going to private school my whole life and ur only aloud to wear polo shirts with collars that are either white, navy blue, light blue,red or a jumper that is kaki. and with pants you can wear only jeans or kapris or dress pants that have no designs on them....talk about frustration :(

Ali Thomason

salvation
on Thursday, August 13, 2009 at 9:52 pm

its true that God will never abandon or forsake you, but YOU can leave *him*!
salvation can be lost!!!!!!!!! please dont believe the lie of the world that you cant lose your salvation!
Hebrews 11:26-"for if we sin willingly after we have received the knoweledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins." we are always loved by God, but christians can stop loving him

emily

Ali Thomason
on Friday, August 14, 2009 at 1:38 pm

I repeat, once you are born again you CAN NOT be unborn!!!!
Just as you can not go back into your mother's womb, you CAN NOT be unsaved!!!!!! Ali Thomason, where in Heb. 11:26 does it say we are not saved if we fall away from God?? If you were angry at your dad and didn't love him any more does that mean you are not his daughter???? NO, thank God, because if it did, that means none of us kids are children of our father! How many time in your life have you been angry at your parents?? yet you are still their children no matter what!!!

Erin Davis

Ali, Emily and others
on Friday, August 14, 2009 at 3:28 pm

Hey girls!

I am totally cool with you discussing important issues here on the blog. In fact, I love it when you do that. What a great way to sharpen your faiths and plunge you into God's Word. I just want to remind you to keep it kind (you're doing well so far). It doesn't make much sense to have a conversation about God without treating each other with love. And...try to base your arguments on God's Word. He is the only true source of Truth.

I'm watching the conversation and am proud of you for seeking Truth!

Erin

emily

Ali
on Friday, August 14, 2009 at 8:38 pm

hey, I got a little rude and rough there. sorry!! but please consider what i just wrote!
~emily

emily c

HELP
on Friday, August 14, 2009 at 8:40 pm

HELP!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am tall and slim and at my school we are only allowed to wear kacky or navy blue pants. does anyone know where I can get pants that fit my waist and are not too short???

rg@secretkeepergirlinstatecollege,pa

to dannah(secret keeper girl!)
on Tuesday, August 18, 2009 at 2:03 pm

Hi dannah,

I was at your secret keeper thing about modesty.I met you,and you signed my book! I had lots of fun there!thank you for doing that kind of thing!Me and my mom sponsered a little girl for the holt ministries.I met lexi and autumn(dont know how to spell),tell them they're pretty!Just wanted 2 say thanx for a great night!

Ali Thomason

Emily
on Sunday, August 30, 2009 at 4:18 pm

its alright emily(: i didnt realize someone had responded to my post, thats why its taking me this long. i believe the bible teaches that you can lose your salvation. lets say a man is born again, but then he goes out and kills a man. is he still saved?

cass

ali
on Wednesday, September 16, 2009 at 1:34 pm

hey ali, yup the man is still saved. (: as long as he has truely believed in Jesus. Although he is saved, he is not perfect. That's why he is still able and will still continue to sin. I'm saved too, but at times I slip into sins and temptations too. The Bible says that as long as you hate a person in your heart, that's murder! That's why, I'm sure all of us have committed 'murder' before - in the heart! ): It's something I believe every Christian is still working towards - the goal of being Christ-like. We know we are saved truely when we begin to fear and reverend God, to do our best to live a life full of light shinning for Him (:

Ali

Cass
on Saturday, September 19, 2009 at 8:26 pm

i agree we all fall short cass but its when we ask for forgiveness that we are saved again. if the last thing i did was cuss a girl out, i would definately not be going to heaven. if we are still saved after we sin, whats the point of living a christian life? we could all call ourselves christians but go get drunk on the weekends but since we have "confessed christ", we are still saved? a man can lose his salvation.. Galations 5:4, Hebrews 10:26-27, Hebrews 6:4-6 all support and prove this is true.

Erin Davis

Ali, Cass, and the gang
on Tuesday, September 22, 2009 at 4:20 pm

Hey girls,

Up until now I have stayed out of this salvation discussion. You've kept it friendly and I've enjoyed watching the banter. But I simply can't allow Ali's latest comment to go unnoticed.

The idea that if you commit a sin and do not ask forgiveness for it you will go to hell is so, so wrong. That model focuses on what you can do to please God. Salvation isn't gained by anything we can do. It is gained by accepting the sacrifice that Christ already did. Yes, it is important to recognize our sin and repent for it, but our admittance to heaven doesn't hinge upon our ability to ask forgiveness for every single sin.

God's grace is what allows us to be saved. This model depends on our constant work, not His.

I am happy you are fleshing out this important issue here on the blog. Keep doing it and keep backing up your answers with God's Truth!

Erin

Felicia

Modesty
on Saturday, October 24, 2009 at 3:57 pm

A lot of girls @ my school wear short shorts.
The shortest shorts I have come down to my knees! Girls think I am weird for not wearing short shorts.

Does anyone else wear shorts this length???

doglover

modesty and back-to-school shopping
on Monday, October 26, 2009 at 9:59 pm

i wear shorts down to my knees. that's about the shortest i go. sometimes i feel out of place but then i think i would be uncomfortable in short shorts. i never thought that when i get dressed i'm dressing the temple of God. i will definitely keep that in mind now.

(Not such a) Confused Christian

Shorts & tanktops...?
on Tuesday, July 20, 2010 at 10:50 pm

hey Dannah u r one of my role models (i have u listed under 'heroes' on my myspace after God and my preacher!) so i was wondering if u could give me some advice here -- how short do u personally feel shorts should be? and what are ur views on what makes a tank top okay? and is it okay to wear whatever if i'm just home with my mom and little sister while my dad's at work?

Dannah Gresh

Modesty
on Friday, July 23, 2010 at 12:53 am

Hi Confused Christian:

Thanks for considering me as a role model. I'm honored. I'm just following Jesus, so follow him! :)

Well, all of your questions are a bit vague in terms of a direct answer in the Bible, but let me give them a stab.

First of all, ask your parents. There's no Bible verse that says, "Thou shalt not wear shorts" or "Thy tank tops are for edification of the body." Nope! Not in there. What is in there is this: "Honor thy father and mother." So, more than my answer...your parent's answers to these matter.

That said, I have a bunch of tests called the Truth Or Bare Fashion Tests that appear in my books on modesty. I like to say that shorts are OK, but as long as you can sit comfortably in them and not show off more than you'd like for your dad or grandfather to see. (Somehow picking them makes it all the more easy to be modest!) My test called "Criss Cross Applesauce" invites you to sit with your legs crossed and look in a mirror so that you can see if the shorts you are wearing are really modest. Usually a nice pair of biker shorts that come down to your knee will be comfortable and modest. That's what we wear in my house.

Tank tops? Hmmm...in my house we don't wear them alone. They're kind of an extra layer. So much skin and so often so low! We are really careful with them but I don't black list them.

Your last question...is it ok to wear whatever...sounds a bit like you just want a free license to do "what you want." I hope that doesn't step on your toes. I could be really, really off with this one. But, it seems like you are seeking permission from me for things you might already be encouraged about by your family. Are you feeling like your family rules are too hard? Man have I been there! Turn to the Lord. He makes every burden easier to bare. (Funny thing...that word "bare" is what prompted all these questions, huh?)

Talk to you parents and have a humble heart and you won't be so confused!

Dannah

(Not such a) Confused Christian

Re: Dannah
on Saturday, July 24, 2010 at 7:57 pm

Your welcome! :) And I do seek to follow Jesus! :) Oh, and ordered ur book And The Bride Wore White and u & nancy leigh demoss's Lies Young Women Believe last week & i just got them Thursday and i LOVE both so far! :)

Recently I have begun to take what my parents say as more important than I use to, and I will try the tests you suggested (i think i need to go shopping and get some longer shorts in order for my mom and i to agree on them!).

Tank tops - i know what you mean about the spaghetti strap ones (my mom doesn't like those!) but i personally think the ones with two-inch straps are fine and i'm pretty sure my mom doesn't mind them.

The last question, no, you got me all wrong there! What I meant was that if i'm just at home, especially if there are no men there, would you consider it okay to wear, for example, a spaghetti strap tank top? Like does it matter if you are not dressing modestly if you are just in your house & just around your mom and sister? That's what I meant, because before I read this article I never thought about it and and now that i did I was wondering if it's actually considered to be wrong? tho i do think my mom's rules are different and pretty strict at times, that wasnt what i meant by this question, but trust me, i've turned to the Lord a lot recently! :) †

Thanks for the advice! :)

Dannah Gresh

Tanks! (And not the army issued ones!)
on Monday, July 26, 2010 at 10:10 am

Glad to hear that your heart is so soft. You're amazing. I'm sorry that I misunderstood it. That never feels good. But evidence of how good your heart is...was the response back to me.

Well, again...ask your mom and dad. I can only say that in our house I encourage my girls to stay covered up. You never know when someone will stop in! (I've been caught in the kitchen in a cami before!) And it can be uncomfortable for a father or brother if we just let it all hang out! :) That said, there sure is a little bit room. My girls and I walk around in undies and tanks or camis upstairs when the guys are gone. I'm not suggesting we be prudes. Just modest to a t!

Blessings on you precious one and keep honoring your parents!

(Not such a) Confused Christian

Haha you're welcome! And tanks to you too! :)
on Tuesday, July 27, 2010 at 7:01 pm

It's okay! And aww thanks! :)

I definitely get what you're saying! Thanks so much!

You are so nice! I've chosen a good Christian role model! :) Blessings back on you as well! :)

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