Culture Celebrates The Fiftieth Anniversary Of “The Pill”

posted by Erin Davis on 05/18/10 | Twitter: @ErinGraffiti
Category: News & Updates; ; 66 comments

This month marks the 50^th anniversary of the birth control pill. I realize that birth control probably isn’t big news to you. That’s because you live in a post-sexual revolution world. A world where people are saying:

“ One significant, and enduring, effect of The Pill on female sexual attitudes during the 60's, was: ‘Now we can have sex anytime we want, without the consequences. Hallelujah, let's party!’” (Raquel Welch, CNN.com).

"If women are going to have control and power in society, they have to be able to control when they have children, and they have to be able to make money. The pill brought together the economics and the fertility timeline in a neat little package." (Gloria Feldt, Forbes Magazine).

“ Giving women control over reproduction means giving them control over their own fate. I am a wife, a blogger, a mother -- when I want, how I want, and with the freedom to remain sexual. The pill means I can have it all, and sacrifice nothing.” (Erin Kotecki Vest, CNN.com)

Historians note that the pill ushered in the sexual revolution. In a culture where casual sex is celebrated and the media portrays purity as abnormal, it is easy to become disheartened as you seek to follow God’s standards. In fact, many of the girls we interviewed for “Lies Young Women Believe” told us that they felt alone in their stance for purity.

One said: “I think that at my school, having sex is normal. Everybody has either had sex or they are really close to it. That is something that I struggle with a lot. I wonder if I am going to wait” (Lies Young Women Believe, 94).

More recently, I know of a young Christian woman who told her mom that if she stayed in school she wouldn’t be able to keep her faith or her virginity. I know that many of you are feeling that same pressure.

While our culture busts out the cake and party hats to celebrate the ignition of the sexual revolution this month, I wanted to take a moment to encourage you, and to ask you to encourage each other.

God’s Word makes it clear that He designed sex for marriage. His standards will always apply despite the tides of culture. What’s more, purity is possible. If you are committed to remaining pure until your wedding day, you may feel like a salmon swimming upstream. But you are not alone.

I want to prove it. If you’ve committed to wait and are actively seeking to live out God’s standards for purity, leave us a comment and tell us about it. I’m guessing it won’t take long to demonstrate that there are plenty of young women out there willing to stand for God’s Truth in this area.

Now that’s worth celebrating!

Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

Abby

Re:
on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 4:23 pm

Thank you so much for this post, it is great to know that I am not alone in the stance to remain pure! I don't think that birth control is a bad thing though, only some peoples reactions... I'm not sure if that's what you were trying to say or not.

danagurl

Staying pure!
on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 4:27 pm

Wow, yeah, it can be really tough to stay single these days. I know I struggle significantly in high school where there are adoring couples spaced every few feet in the hallways. I'm blessed to know that I'm not alone in waiting for God's timing for the right guy. The Pill can sit in somebody else's cabinet.

Christy

I'm A Maiden in Waiting
on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 4:39 pm

I have never:

~been dated

~been kissed

~had sex

~held hands with the opposite sex (except my daddy and brothers during prayer times)

I am saving these "firsts" for my wedding day. I intend to not even touch my fiance` when we are engaged -- I want to feel his first touch when we meet at the altar of God.

All praise to my First Love (Jesus)!

Caty

the pill
on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 4:44 pm

This was a great post Erin! We all need to hear this message. I am committed to be sexually pure and wait for the right guy, but i have been thinking for several months now about the issue of the pill. Is it wrong to use the pill? Would you consider it a bad thing or even sin? The whole issue is kinda confusing to me.

Christle

It's more than OK to wait!
on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 4:53 pm

The one gift you will want to give to the man that God has waiting for you is your purity. Don't fall into the temptation that "everyone is doing it" It's not worth it. Once you give in to that temptation you can never take it back. Yes, you can be forgiven and change the way you will continue to live your life, but you can never become truly pure again. Save it for the man God has for you and after the marriage vows are taken. it's truly something worth waiting for!

Tori

Purity
on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 4:56 pm

I am definitley going to wait on God's timing and seek purity throughout my life. It's great to be encouraged by others who are willing to do the same!

Rose

interesting...
on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 5:08 pm

I totally disagree with birth control, God will bless you with children when HE wants to!!! My school, which is a middle school, is full of pressure when it comes to sexual things. It's a subarban school, and it doesn't seem like the place for lots of premarital sex!! 8th graders talk about who they did what with this weekend. In 11th grade there are 5 girls pregnant!!! its really sad that some people can't resist pressure :(

Evelyn

True love waits!!
on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 5:19 pm

I am happy and proud to tell people that I've never had sex and that i want to wait till i get married. It's defiantly hard since all my friends are having sex or have had sex. So I've decided to try and not get in to a relationship until i'm out of high school.

And i'm not saying i'm all innocent i have done stuff that i wish never happened. But i am happy that it never got far enough to take away what belongs to my husband.

this is my favorite quote:

"Your heart should be so lost in God, that a man needs to seek HIM first in order to find You"

monica

Re:
on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 6:15 pm

Thanks for the post. It was encouraging and yeah, it's so normal nowadays I sometimes even have to remind myself it's actually wrong.
To Abby:
I think birth control is wrong because it's like saying to God you don't trust him to give you the right amount of children. but that's just me, you have a right to believe whatever you want:) :)

Miss Anonymous

Keeping the Purity
on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 6:28 pm

Its a constant battle for the mind and heart. You have to limit yourself, such as seeing and listening to only appropriate media and dressing modestly. My parents also gave me this piece of advice: only go out in groups. It takes less pressure off of both guys and girls. And it's more fun, too. But still, I like the idea of going out one on one :) in this situation, you gotta give limits, and have your friends and families opinions on him. If he's creepy or weird to them, don't date him

Lauren

Pure for Christ
on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 7:34 pm

Hi! I guess I am the 3rd girl to post about standing up for God's truth about purity. To be honest, the hard part about being pure is that you have to skip the whole boyfriend stage in high school and it is harder to establish meaningful friendships with other young men. The result is all my friends are and have been young women, I have never date/had a boyfriend, and I am almost 18 years old. To encourage those of you who are struggling or becoming frustrated with your commitment to remain pure, I want to tell you a little story.

A young woman at my church recently got up in front of our youth group and told us about her older sister. When her sister wasin high school, she did not date or have a boyfriend. She instead chose to begin writing letters or a journal to her future husband (*bear in mind that all young women in Christ should be preparing for their future husband, not boyfriend). This caused her to be more focused on God and the qualities He wanted her to seek in a godly future husband.
The story does not stop there. In her freshman year of college, she met a young Christian man while she was eating in the dining hall. He seemed very nice and they hit it off really well. After a while, they began dating. 2 years ago, they married (she was 20, he 21/22). I witnessed their wedding and am grateful to have been at the wedding of a young woman, who like me, chose to remain pure for her future husband and reaped the benefits in a beautiful way.

I am encouraged by her story and thank God for what He will do in and through me because my commitment to purity.

Trust God. He will bless you for honoring Him.

Ruthie

Staying pure
on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 7:34 pm

What a great post! Love it!!! I believe in remaining pure till my wedding day. Being homeschooled i don't have too much pressure put on me, it is easier for me to stay pure i guess.....but, i have purposed in my heart to stay pure, and maybe thats why its easier too! My older married sister tells me its really worth the wait!!!! =)

p.s. I don't think birth control pill is right.

JustJess

Stay pure!
on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 8:01 pm

I beg all of you who are still pure, STAY THAT WAY! Sex is not worth it, ESPECIALLY in High School. So much of it is tied into emotions, things can get crazy faster than you blink.

Get a good healthy relationship that doesn't include sex (or anything that would lead up to it). And if a guy can't wait for you, that's his loss and you better remember it. You are worth SO MUCH MORE than whatever he could ever give you. Don't fall for those mind traps you set up for yourself that "I can't get anyone better" or "I don't want to be alone". Find fullness in yourself and God, THEN worry about meeting someone. And if you do, go out as couples (note the 's'! Bring friends!), have bible studies together, and have enjoy building a relationship that can LAST!

It is too late for me, I'm afraid, but I've vowed abstinence until my wedding night and pray whatever husband God would give me will understand.

Brandie

Purity Ring
on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 8:10 pm

I have a ring that was given to me from my mom. It is my purity ring. At school I don't hide the fact that I plan on staying pure until I get married. I have had many girls tell me that they feel sorry for me, that I don't know what I am missing, ect. Some guys at school have even turned me down because of my high standard on purity. Sometimes I do want to know what all the hype about sex is. I get curious and when I get like that, I know that if I was put into a situation where I could have sex, I'd do it. But then I remember the promise I made to myself and more importantly, God. I realize that my purity is worth more then others think. I know that there is a lot of pressure to have sex, but I don't want to just be one of those girls who will sleep with anyone. I want to stand out and be known for the good I did, not the amount of boys I have slept with.

Heather

Waiting
on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 9:38 pm

I am waiting and I have been made fun of for it but I know that will save me a lot of heartbreak and I will be following God's perfect plan!

Godsgirl

Stayin' pure!
on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 9:55 pm

I'm happy to be differrent than others in this way.I might even save my first kiss!!!;);). XOXO,God's girl

Ayana

Definately Staying Pure
on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 9:57 pm

IT'S WORTH THE WAIT!!! Not only will you have a more secure marriage but a better time in high shcool. My friend (unfortunately not a Christian) starting having sex with her boyfriend even though I warned her and I've watched her relationship with him, others and her self-esteem crumble down ever since. Its not worth it, no matter what lies people tell you. Promise.

___Ayana___

God's girl

"I love you"
on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 9:59 pm

Is it wrong to say "I love you" to a close guy friend when it's strictly a friendly love?I really need to know!someone help!!!!!

Kaitlyn

The Pill and Waiting
on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 12:16 am

Nowadays it is hard to remain pure. It's sad when I hear of friends, classmates, and other people I know who aren't waiting for their future spouses. I've never had a boyfriend. I've never been kissed and never been on a date. In fact, I've made a commitment with God to wait to date until college. I'm choosing to wait until my wedding night before I give up my virginity. I actually feel excited when I think about waiting for my future husband! It's nice to know I'm not the only one who believes in waiting. It helps tremendously when my closest friends tell me that they, too, are waiting.

I would like to point out that the birth control pill isn't always a bad thing. Yes, it's used to prevent pregnancy. Yes, it could encourage people to have premarital sex. But I'm going to confess right now and say I'm on the pill. Not for sexual reasons, but because of hormonal reasons. A friend of mine is on the pill to help regulate her period. Heck, there are married women who are on the pill when they aren't ready to have children! The problem with the pill comes in when people use it for the wrong reasons (i.e. using it while have premarital sex). I understand people have different opinions about the pill, but I do think people should know that the pill isn't always a bad thing. It's how you use it that makes it bad.

Brandi

Saving my first kiss for my wedding day!
on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 8:26 am

Since I was 14 I have been on fire for purity! I'm saving my first kiss for my husband on our wedding day! It's going to be so special! Picturing what that will be like and how I will feel is what helps keep me strong. Stay strong girls! I know it will be worth it!

Emily

The Pill
on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 10:27 am

I am definitely going to stay pure. Sex within marriage is still staying pure, actually! So I don't say that I'll stay pure until marriage, because I'm going to stay pure within marriage also! And about the Pill. It isn't always a bad thing. I had to take it for a while because of some "female" issues. If it is used right, it's perfectly fine. It's when people think that it gives them the right to do anything anytime and break God's laws and commandments is when it is wrong. Thanks for the post!!

Heidi H.

Re:
on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 10:47 am

I made a promise to God, my future husband, and myself on my 13th birthday to stay pure until marriage. I got a purity ring for my 14th birthday. I also want to save my first kiss for my husband. It's so hard to stay pure in today's culture, but God is helping me, and I know it is worth it.

Briton

Purity
on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 11:47 am

Wow, that really is a lot of people! I am certainly trying to stay pure! Of course there are pressures and you feel alone sometimes. But when I listen to people talk about all the stuff they have done, It makes me sick and I am so thankful that I have God and standards from the Bible to keep me away from all of that stuff. I just learn to pray for others with this area. Some people act like it's no big deal and I have heard some TERRIBLE things. But it really is a HUGE deal and I am glad it's not happening to me. And hopefully one day they realize the mistake they are making.

Corey

hmmmmmmm...
on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 12:56 pm

I might say that I don't agree with birth control at all. And I think it's best that you don't use the pill. But...I'm not sure if you can say that the pill was completely responsible. I also think that the hippie movement, and the liberalization of the church played a part. Without those things, the pill would just be another medication for women who needed it for other reasons than free 'love". (i.e. Women with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome need to take birth control in order to keep from further masculinizing. And in order to stop all the pain that comes with the condition.)

Kristin

hmmmm...
on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 3:18 pm

I think that being on the pill is wrong if you are using it for birth control if you are married or if you are using it before marriage so you can have "safe" sex. I don't mean to offend anyone, but I think that if you are on the pill for birth control, you are aborting babies, and I'm sorry, but that is murder.

Liza

Re: GodsGirl
on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 3:56 pm

I don't think it is a wise idea to tell your guy friend you love him, only because he may take it the wrong way. I have best friends who are guys but I would never tell them I love them because they could take it the wrong way. I do love them - in a friendship way only - and I know they love me too, but only because we have a deep deep friendship. It's totally up to you, but it might weird the guy out if you tell him you love him. Just a thought! :)

Godsgirl

Edavis
on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 4:00 pm

No offense Erin but nowone ever answers my questions....this is important and nowone answers--Erin plz help me!!!it's about what I posted march 18th at 9:59 pm--plz and thx<3Godsgirl<3

leigh

Waiting
on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 4:40 pm

I bought myself a purity ring to wear just to constantly be a reminder that I am waiting for my future husband. Thanks for writing this. It is always encouraging to here others standing for purity!

monica

to kaitlyn
on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 10:14 pm

my sister uses the pill too because she gets really bad pain and this is the only thing that helps, but I think that's different because she doesn't have a choice. and if she got married she would probably find another solution but now it's not an issue, she doesn't believe in premarital sex so it wouldn't be a temptation for her

Erin Davis

Godsgirl
on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 10:39 pm

Godsgirl,

I'm sorry if you're feeling ignored. Let me tell you some things you may not realize about how this site works.

I do my very best to respond if/when necessary. We receive hundreds of comments through this website. I personally post each one, but I don't respond to most of them. That's not the purpose of the site. I am not a personal counselor and simply am not able to respond to every comment. When I do respond, it usually takes me at least 24 hours as I usually try to pray/think through my response and look for specific Scriptures. We love having you on the site, but demanding that I answer you will likely not work in the future.

Since I'm already writing, I don't mind responding to your question. I think it is fine to say I love you to a guy friend. Love is a great thing. Telling others that they're important to you is almost always the right choice. Just make sure you're not flirting.

Hope this helps!

Erin

Lexa

reply
on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 11:24 pm

God saved me right after I turned 15, and ever since then I have made a vow to stay pure, and it is really hard because staying pure is not just in your actions, its also in your thoughts. Before I got saved I did give myself away, and I’m not saying this to tell everyone my business, but as a word of encouragement and of warning.
Ever since that day I cannot get those images, smells, or words out of my head, and it still kills me. I have cried myself to sleep many nights just thinking about it. It is one of the hardest things I have to deal with from my past. but I have to remember that when I dwell upon these things, and wonder how could God forgive me, it is insulting and downgrading to God. Its saying that Christ's death on the cross was not enough to pay for my sin.
In my old school it was the girls, as much as the guys, that would have 'contests' with each other seeing how many guys they could get with, and it was very easy to fall into.
I agree with Emily on the sex within marriage is still pure so we are to stay pure our whole lives.
I struggle with that sin every day, even in thinking about my future husband, how am I going to tell him. It is just not worth the pleasure for the moment. Because if you think about it that is what this world is about, instant gratification, when it should be concentrating on glorifying God the Father.
I pray that God will make me a virtuous woman, so that I can glorify Him. That is the chief end of man, To glorify God and enjoy Him always.
If you ever have any question about whether sex outside of marriage or any other impurity or immorality is wrong, just seek the answer in God’s word and through prayer.
One more thing, do NOT justify your sin in any way, which is very easy for us to do in our flesh. Just accept rebuke and Thank God for bringing you back, or drawing you to Himself.
(justify is to make right)(so in other words, make excuses for sin, in this example)

Ps sorry if this was all ramblings, I’m not very good at articulating my thoughts, especially not on paper…=)

Melissa Marasco

Re: Christy
on Thursday, May 20, 2010 at 7:28 am

Dear Christy, If you happen to come back and read this, I just want to encourage you to stick to the boundaries that you have set for yourself. My husband and I had the same ones (not even holding hands) when we were dating and engaged, and it was amazing. (Just as a note, I'm not saying that it's wrong to hold hands when you're dating/engaged.) But that is how my husband and I chose to handle things, and it made our wedding day really special. So I just wanted to encourage you, that if that is what you feel God is calling you to do, that it will be well worth being obedient even though many people will think you're really strange!!
God bless!!

Audrey

More than Physical
on Thursday, May 20, 2010 at 9:21 am

This was a good post! Alot of the girls out there, my self included, are setting themselves aside for their future husband. In fact, not only are young Christian girls staying pure for marriage but so are a alot of young ladies who are not Christian. Purity, though, is not just physical purity such as holding hands, kissing, and sex. Purity is also keeping your words and thoughts pure from lust and sexual desires. Sex is not just a way to fulfill your worldly desires. It is a way to truly show your partner your love and commitment in ways that words cannot express. Purity is not the easier route, but no doubt the best. God designed you to be with one man. I pray that everyone waits for their chosen one.

Erin Davis

Lexa
on Thursday, May 20, 2010 at 11:31 am

What an encouraging testimony. I am so glad you shared. I thought you expressed yourself beautifully.

Erin

Natalie

re: Kristin
on Thursday, May 20, 2010 at 1:43 pm

I agree with you about not using the pill for premarital sex, and that abortion is murder, But using the pill is not abortion because it keeps the body from ovitating ( which is not being able to conceive), And a baby's life begins at conception, (now their is a seperate "pill" that some women take the morning after (to not run the risk of having a baby , and that is abortion because the baby is already living) However that's not the "pill" that they are talking about on this post"......well I just wanted to let you know so that you don't have to find that out from someone who thinks all this stuff is OK, cuz then they'd say you don't have your facts strait and so you must be wrong.....anyway I'm just tying to help :)
Nat

Erin, I have taken a purity pledge and intent to keep it, This is really important to me, and I also am saving my first kiss for my husband at the alter, and i know that some people think that thats too extreme, but I believe it's the right thing to do, plus it'll make it all the more special!...................My take on if using the pill occasionally inside of marriage is wrong, It is, no, I think that it's ok, because it just depends on the couple and also on their health............................Nat

Sarah S.

For Medical Reasons?
on Thursday, May 20, 2010 at 5:20 pm

I have been on the pill for medical reasons and I will tell you that the pill did not fix my problem, it simply masked the symptoms of my medical issues. Let me repeat that - the pill does not treat medical problems, it is just an easy way to make the symptoms go away. Most doctors don't know that there are alternatives available, which means that most women (young women too) don't know that there are alternatives. If you are on the pill for medical reasons as a teenager PLEASE do some research on the Creighton Model Fertility Care System and its counterpart NaPro Technology. There may be a doctor near you that can help without the use of the pill.

www.fertilitycare.org

This system is developed by Christians and is highly reliable.

Godsgirl

To edavis
on Thursday, May 20, 2010 at 5:22 pm

Hey thank you for answering me--I'm sorry that I demanded an answer,it won't happen again...I guess the question was stressing me out and I was acting a little pushy because I really needed an answer.thank you and sorry!<3GodsGirl<3

countrygirl101

Gods girl
on Thursday, May 20, 2010 at 6:38 pm

Hey!! Sorry i didnt see your post untill now!! I think that it is ok to tell your guy freinds you love them as long as there comfortable with that I have a few guy freinds and some of them I tell i love them but others would feel uncomfortable if I did and some would take it the wrong way!! but As long as they know what you mean by it like you may say I love ya as a freind or something at least the first time you say it but I see nothing wrong with it!! Exspecially like in texting and stuff i always tell people love ya when I say goodnight.. any way I hope this helps!! Love ya!!

countrygirl101

lexi
on Thursday, May 20, 2010 at 6:40 pm

Thanks for sharing that!! This is something i struggle with a lot!! Staying pure is not easy and its scary how close I have come to loosing it and to def the wrong person he was like twice my age and marreid with a kid!! I cant beleive i alomost gave him my purity!! thanks for sharing what you did and it did make sense it wasent rambling lol!!

Kaitlyn

To Monica
on Friday, May 21, 2010 at 1:16 am

I'm not sure if you're going to read this, but... The reason I'm on the pill is because my GYN suspects I have PCOS (Polysystic Ovary Syndrome). I've been dealing with extra facial hair for the past couple of years. The pill is supposed to help reduce the symptoms of PCOS.

I don't want you to think that I think the pill makes people have premarital sex. Some teenage girls take advantage of the pill and use it while having sex with their boyfriends, which is why I pointed out (to some girls) it could encourage premarital sex. The media makes the pill sound like it's no big deal and a perfect solution to stay safe while having sex--especially outside of marriage. That's what's so hard about staying pure these days. The media and people around us make it seem like it's okay to sex outside of marriage when in reality it isn't and goes against what God is asking us to do. The pill can be a temptation to many girls, but to many other girls, it isn't. I'm on the pill and have no desire whatsoever to go and have sex before my wedding night. My husband is the only one who is going to touch me. Bravo to your sister for choosing to remain pure until marriage! Bravo to everyone who left comments for choosing to remain pure until marriage! I just want people to understand that the pill isn't always a bad thing. It's what you use it for that makes it bad, like using it for premarital sex instead of for medical reasons or using it while married.

Anyway, I'm starting to ramble, but I completely understand why your sister is using the pill. :]

Anonymous

what?
on Friday, May 21, 2010 at 11:47 am

You've GOT to be kidding me! They're actually celebrating the pill? How weird!

Abby

Question
on Friday, May 21, 2010 at 4:37 pm

I was just wondering if any of you girls had any ideas as to whether or not it's OK to flirt? I find myself flirting with guy friends quite often and I never really thought it was wrong so long as it's all innocent, am I right?

Claire

The Pill, and keeping pure.
on Friday, May 21, 2010 at 8:16 pm

This is the first time I've ever posted but it's great to find young women committed to purity. About the Pill, one women said someone was using it to regulate her periods,and other reasons. I like to encourage you to search for other ways. A few weeks back i was reading an article about woman's health, i discovered that many natural ways around in the world, to help for female, problems such as i mentioned above. From going to doctors, and my Mums stories, be aware that most doctor don't offer you a natural solution, they just give you some kind of medication. I hear a story one man had too much coffee he went to his doctor and the doctor gave him pills to take, he didn't want to take them so instead he stopped drinking coffee, worked the same way. So women be encouraged God has provided us with many natural solutions around us. The other thing I'd like to say is one women said that the was taking by women just not ready to have children yet, Well question, who decides when we're ready, us? No I believe that should be left to God, He knows you better than you know yourself, He won't give you a baby if your not ready for it. Be strong in your faith and trust in God. He know the end and beginning of all things, We (including myself) need to stop playing God in so many areas of our lives. Just trust Him the rewards are endless. Hope I didn't sound like I was trying to pick on anyone, just trying to encourage you all.
thanks for reading.
Sister in Christ,
Claire

Godsgirl

Re:countrygirl
on Friday, May 21, 2010 at 9:52 pm

Actually I was asking because he told me that he loves me so i wanted to make sure it was okay to say it back.He def wuld not feel funny although I tend not to say it first,but I sometimes say it because I say goodnight to him pretty much every night.Thanks that post really helped!XO<3Godsgirl<3XO

Godsgirl

Re:re:Liza
on Friday, May 21, 2010 at 9:56 pm

Actually he said it to me first.Just clearing that up--thnx for commenting!

monica

to kaitlyn
on Friday, May 21, 2010 at 10:40 pm

you're right, Kaitlyn, I guess I just misunderstood you and thought you meant that it was OK to use if you didn't want any kids. Sorry!
Love ya!
Monica:)

Sarah S.

To Natalie & others
on Saturday, May 22, 2010 at 3:25 am

I say this with the utmost respect, but I believe you are mistaken in your information. You are correct when you say that the pill keeps a female from ovulating, but did you know there are secondary mechanisms of the pill (and other hormonal contraception)? It is listed in the Physicians Desk Reference. The 1st mechanism is to keep the body from ovulating, the 2nd is to change the viscosity of the cervical mucus (which sounds gross, but good cervical mucus is essential for a healthy fertility) so that sperm cannot survive, and the 3rd mechanism is to change the lining of the uterus so that IF a breakthrough ovulation happens and an egg was fertilized it could not implant in the uterus (this is why many women experience lighter and shorter periods on the pill - because it changes the lining of the uterus, which is what sloughs off during your period). So the others that say the pill is an abortifacient are correct mainly because of the pill's 3rd mechanism, but this also depends on your definition of when life begins (which is debatable among the medical community and the rest of society for that matter). The "morning after pill" is a very high dosage of progestins (synthetic progesterone) that do the same thing as the pill (which contains estrogens and progestins) - it changes the lining of the uterus so that it is hostile to the implantation of a fertilized egg. If you do not believe me please look it up in the Physicians Desk Reference (there should be one in your public library).

Monica2

GodsGirl
on Monday, May 24, 2010 at 2:41 am

i am another monica so i will call myself monica2 :)

Anyway, i just wanted to have my say. :)
I dont quite agree with Erin about saying i love you. "technically" its ok BUT how is the guy receiving it? It may seem to you that you are not flirting, maybe you arent and your motives are pure but is that how he sees it? It may seem like no big deal, but in the Bible God tells us not to cause our brothers to stumble. Also if you think about it do you want your husband to know that you said "i love you" No matter how lightly, to lots of guys before him? Yes, we need to show that others are important to us but there are different ways of doing it. Be careful dear girl,
Lots of love
Monica2 ;)

Godsgirl

Re:abby
on Monday, May 24, 2010 at 11:02 am

In my opinion flirting with guy friends is wrong--innocent flirting with a serious bf is ok in my opinion but they are only your friends so I don't think it's alright to flirt......some people at my school flirt with guy friends who have girlfriends and it makes
both of
them look bad....flirting with guy friends isn't neccessary.If you read Erin Davis's comment to me she says and I qoute"make sure you're not flirting[with your guy friends]"I added the stuff in parantheses.Don't
flirt--it's not worth it and it's wrong.That's my opinion and others,too.I hope this helps! <3God's Girl<3

Godsgirl

Re:Monica2
on Tuesday, May 25, 2010 at 3:05 pm

Well again I'll say that he said he loved me first....it's absolutely only a friendship kind of love because he has a girlfriend...I would not feel guilty about it with my husband because the only thing I would feel bad about with my husband is having had sex before--which I absolutely will NOT!and kissing other guys before him.This is just an innocent love.no biggy in
my opinion If I'm not sinning which I am not. XO God's girl

Abby

Godsgirl
on Friday, May 28, 2010 at 1:49 pm

Hey girl! Thanks for your reply, it's great to have the input, sometimes I feel as though I'm the only one who is trying to live modestly in my school and it's hard to know where the boundaries are. I know it's wrong to flirt, but guy friends seem so much more comfortable when there is some innocent flirting going on! I find it so difficult to balance out guy/girl friendships... hoping I'm not the only one!

Godsgirl

Re:abby
on Wednesday, June 2, 2010 at 9:04 pm

You are not the only one!I'm sure you have a harder time than I do because you probably go to public school(if that's not true let me know),but I go to a small Christian school and the guys are numbered:(I only have one guy friend-one of 2 of my best friends.....All 3 of us are best friends.The 2 of them are terrible flirts.I mean he has a girlfriend!!!!I have a lot of trouble not flirting but I do my best.Sometimes I'm afraid that even saying this ";)" In a text can be flirty.Because we are girls,we feel we need to be accepted by guys.We feel ourselves are not enough for a guy.Sometimes I feel by flirting with a guy,you feel you're important enough for him.But honestly you're showing the guy your boundaries....(as in abstinence and relationships).But sometimes ou have no interest in relationship but our natural girl and guyness(hehe)kicks in so we flirt.I guess the only thing we can do is monitor what we say and do around a guy.It can even lead to bigger things.Some guy was flirting with a girl and he pulled her chair out from under her(in flirtiness)and she fell and her skirt flew up-you could see her (let's just say)delicates!So much can happen when you flirt.Ask a older woman ou trust what he thinks is flirting.I honestly am struggling like you are so I can't tell you much.But I hope I helped(again)!

Godsgirl

In a sentence on my post
on Wednesday, June 2, 2010 at 9:07 pm

I meant to say "ask a older woman YOU trust what SHE thinks Is flirting"just wanted to clarify for you,Abby!

RJ<3JB

I know what you girls are talking about
on Friday, June 4, 2010 at 5:51 pm

It was soooooo hard not to flirt with my guyfriend today but I did it.Mostly.But I did pretty good!Do you know how much it kills a girl when a guy is giving her attention and she has to resist?I almost died.But I made it!!!!You can too!

Confused Christian

I'm Waiting
on Friday, June 4, 2010 at 11:23 pm

I'm definitely waiting to have sex for the 1st time until I'm married. I decided that when I was about 11 and I am now 13.
I do have a question though: I read your masturbation/porn post, and I commented so when you read my comment on that post you will know I have masturbated before, and I'm wondering: does masturbation count as losing your virginity? Please say no. *anxious face*

Erin Davis

Confused Christian
on Tuesday, June 8, 2010 at 12:49 pm

Hmmm...Tough question. I would say that masturbation does not count as losing your virginity. You have still saved the deepest secrets of your purity for you husband! Great job.

But, I do think masturbation violates God's standards of purity. It is sin and it is something that you really need to work diligently to remove from your life.

I don't want you to think "I've screwed up! I might as well forget about trying to stay pure." I do want you to realize that sticking to God's purity standards is tough but possible, and so, so, so, so worth it!

Have you read Dannah's book "And the Bride Wore White?" I think it would really help you wrestle through some of the things you are feeling.

Erin

JaimeC13

a prayer for purity
on Friday, June 11, 2010 at 10:34 pm

Dear Lord, I would like to send You thanks for making this website available to Christian girls all over the world. Please help us all in our spiritual journeys, give us strength in our walk of purity, and give us courage in times of pain. Watch down on these young women as we attempt to keep our faith in the midst of cultural poison, and help us to make Your Words heard. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Love you guys. :)

Jaime

Re:
on Wednesday, July 7, 2010 at 1:40 pm

I'm commited to staying pure until I'm married as well. I'm not sure if I can go as far as not kissing a guy until my wedding day, but I'm thinking about it :) I've gone 15 years without kissing or dating a guy (though courting seems to be a better choice actually), I don't mind waiting however many more years God wants me to wait for that perfect guy. It's kind of exciting really. God really enjoys surprises, He's definitely got some humor!

Confused Christian

Re: edavis
on Monday, July 12, 2010 at 3:46 pm

Sorry i only reead your reply now! okay that's good!! and since i last talked to u about this i have been working on it.. i recently was slipping a little but i'm going to get back on track! i haven't read that book but i definitely want to! thanks again :)

Some random chick

the pill
on Sunday, September 19, 2010 at 10:09 pm

hey Erin, i'm wondering if you think that once you're married, is it okay to use birth control? or, once you're like so old and you don't want any more kids, is it okay to get whatever operation it is that a woman can have done that disables her from getting pregnant? i am a 13 year old girl and i'm a virgin, and i am waiting until i'm married to have sex, but i was just wondering if you think that God would allow birth control once you are married, and if you think He would approve of a woman getting that operation once she has already had as many kids as she wants. (or, like, if she has to take some kind of medicine that could make a baby sick if one were inside of her. would it be okay for her to get the operation THEN, under THAT circumstance?) I was just wondering what your thoughts are on this.

Erin Davis

Some Random Chick
on Monday, September 27, 2010 at 5:40 pm

Hi there,

This is an important issue and I am glad you are thinking it through. It isn't a decision that anyone can make for you. I am happy to share my opinion, but want to encourage you to seek out your own answers through prayer and reading God's Word. I certainly am not the authority on this issue and God may ask something different of you than He has of me.

The Bible does not explicitly address the subject of birth control (except for the instance when Pharaoh forbade Jewish women from having children). However, it has much to say about children and childbearing: for example,
-children are a blessing and a gift from God;
-they are a primary means of passing the faith from one generation to the next;
-God is the One who opens and shuts the womb; childbearing is a primary purpose of marriage (Malachi 2:15);
-the willingness to bear children is a vital evidence of a woman's faith (1 Timothy 2:15; 5:14).

I would also encourage you to do a lot of research on all types of birth control. Some birth controls actually have the potential to flush out a fertilized egg. Based on what we know about God's love for human life, this probably isn't a wise choice.

I am a mother of 2 children. We take family planning very seriously and desire to glorify God with our family. We do use birth control but commit that decision to prayer on a continual basis and are open to God moving us in a different direction.

I hope this helps!

Erin

Some random chick

Erin
on Wednesday, September 29, 2010 at 6:55 pm

Yes it did help. Thank you! Oh, and I saw a picture somewhere online of you with your family and I just wanted to tell you you're children are so cute! :)

Erin Davis

Some random chick
on Thursday, September 30, 2010 at 8:20 am

I agree. My boys are stinkin' cute.

Thanks!

Erin

Heather (Svan)

Re:
on Thursday, June 2, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Hey, Erin. I read your first comment where you said you prayerfully use birth control. Is that common for Christian women to do? Or is it more common to x-nay on the birth control, altogether?

Just curious.

Erin Davis

Heather
on Thursday, June 2, 2011 at 2:33 pm

I'm not sure. I have friends who have decided both ways. If I were to guess I would say that most women (Christian and non-Christian) use some form of birth control though.

Hope this helps.

Erin

Heather (Svancara)

Re:
on Sunday, June 5, 2011 at 8:15 pm

@Erin: I think that's a good guess because most people don't have Duggar sized families lol But I'm not at that stage in my life anyway so I guess I don't have to think about that right now. I'm just wondering because it's something I'll have to think about in the future.

Thanks, Erin!

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