A New Definition of Gossip

posted by Erin Davis on 05/19/10 | Twitter: @ErinGraffiti
Category: God; ; 23 comments

“It’s not gossip if it’s true.”

“She didn’t say that it’s a secret, so it’s not gossip.”

“I’m only telling you this so you can pray for her. That’s not gossip, right?”

Have you ever heard anyone defend their speech like this? Have you ever used these lines yourself? I have. Too many times to count. 

Gossip is mentioned often throughout the Bible. 

Romans 1:29-30 says, “They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.”

Yikes! Gossip is listed among some very serious offenses in this passage, making it clear that there is nothing trivial about it in the eyes of God. 

Second Corinthians 12:20 says, “For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there me quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.”

You may already know that gossip doesn’t please the Lord, but what is gossip exactly? God’s Word provides the answer. According to Scripture we gossip whenever we:

  • Tell a secret (Proverbs 11:13)
  • Talk too much about others (Proverbs 16:28)
  • Use our words to add fuel to a fight (Proverbs 26:20)
  • Discuss topics we shouldn’t (1 Timothy 5:13)
  • We are also gossiping any time our words cause division (Proverbs 16:28). 

When we apply God’s Word to our speech, the excuses I listed above just don’t hold water. Can our words cause division, add fuel to a fight, or betray a confidence even if they’re true? You betcha. Are there some things best left unsaid even if we haven’t been sworn to secrecy? Yep. Is it necessary to share every detail of a situation in order to ask someone to pray? Not really. 

I know that this can be especially tough for us gals. It’s no secret that we’ve been given the gift of gab. Often I find myself gossiping just because I can’t think of anything else to talk about. But in the future, I hope to remember God’s definition of gossip. If it doesn’t glorify Him and highly esteem others, I hope to keep my mouth shut. How about you?

Note: For tips on how to handle it when others are gossiping about you, check out the blog tomorrow. 

 

Comments

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    Emii
    Gossiping;agreed!
    on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 7:27 am
    This is something I've been struggling with quite recently. I know it's wrong, and I feel bad while I'm gossiping. But there's this part of me, that finds the conversation interesting, and wants to contribute -- and terrible, guilty... especially when we're talking about one of our best friends. I mean, that's low :/
    Courtney
    Re:
    on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 8:06 am
    this was a great post erin! i probably gossip more than i realize, but i always try hard to be careful when talking of others and this encouraged me to be more so!
    Sarah
    perfect timing!
    on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 9:51 am
    I needed to hear this right now! I'm really struggling with this... some of my friends gossip but they start out with "Oh, she's so sweet!" "Oh she is, let's say nice things about her," "I know, she's so sweet, BUT --" and then they go on to say unkind things. and it's so hard for me not to participate because, as a girl, I like to talk and add to conversations! but thanks for this definition of what the Bible says gossip is -- I'm going to share it with my friends!
    Cindy
    Gossip
    on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 10:23 am
    I don't recall where I first read this -- but, I have tried to teach my children and myself to filter our words through THINK acronym:
    Is True?
    Is it Helpful?
    Is it Inspiring?
    Is it Necessary?
    Is it Kind?
    Autumn
    Great topic!
    on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 10:45 am
    Thank you for talking about this! I can't tell you how many relationships have been destroyed in my life through gossip. Close and dear friends estranged. Please talk about recovering from the effects of gossip.
    Corey
    OUCH!
    on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 12:46 pm
    This post was convicting....I use the "let me tell you ALL about this so you can pray for her" WAaaaaaaay too much.
    megan
    whew!
    on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 2:33 pm
    YIKES! that was something that i needed to hear. a lot of my friends are wayy into gossipping. sometimes i walk away, but sometimes it's just so juicy i listen..even though i know it was wrong. that was very convicting and encouraging.
    Miss Anonymous
    Gossip
    on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 9:08 pm
    I told a secret that I shouldn't have. I swore myself to secrecy, cause this was a secret only I knew. But, telling my friends I was depressed (it was about the secret), they got it out of me. I shouldn't have let them know. I should have kept it to myself. But then again, secrets eat away at you. I just had to tell somebody. Maybe my friends weren't the right people.
    Jesse-kuh
    Re:
    on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 9:44 pm
    Yepp... this is me! I'm a girl and gossip is what i do. I'm not as bad but i know it terrible! This has opened my eyes.. i use those lines all the time and now... i'm gonna look for when i say them!
    monica
    Re:
    on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 10:04 pm
    Great post, really hits me hard. I don't tell secrets or mean things but I tend to talk alot about others because I'm a big talker :( so there's only so many things to say about me. But I've been watching what a say alot more lately because I have a friend who hates talking about others and never gossips herself and I really admire her so I'm trying to be that way too:)

    Ps. Guys gossip just as bad as girls or worse. You should hear them sometimes! Yikes! Just had to say that!!:)
    Anonymous
    Re:
    on Thursday, May 20, 2010 at 3:59 am
    Often times we gossip and claim our gossip is justified because we didn't say specifics, but then we go around accusing others of gossiping. Our flesh can make us hypocrites. Gossip is gossip and just because a person doesn't say names or doesn't tell any details, it is still wrong and we need to realize that and repent. It is so easy to judge others harshly but we don't judge ourselves by that same standard. This is a great post and every girl should read it.
    Michelle
    Re:
    on Thursday, May 20, 2010 at 5:48 pm
    This was a great post. I have used those excuses many times in my life. Very convicting.
    gg
    Gossip-To Cindy
    on Saturday, May 22, 2010 at 12:03 am
    Thank you for sharing that. I like that and will start using that myself too. Great topic.
    Bethany
    OH MY GOODNESS!
    on Sunday, May 23, 2010 at 12:00 pm
    This is so true! At my school right now, there is a lot of drama including a certain girl, and lunch time is now gossip time! I LOVE to gossip, so it is really hard for me not to put in my own two cents! I really needed this right now! Thans SO much!
    lynn
    gossip
    on Tuesday, May 25, 2010 at 7:25 pm
    i gossip without knowing that i do its hard to stop you don't even know that u are gossiping do you??????? well thats just my opinion what about you?????????? :)))
    Godsgirl
    Ummmmm.....what?????
    on Sunday, May 30, 2010 at 5:51 pm
    It is not gossiping to tell a secret If the secret is about yourself!!!!!!!!!!
    makenzy
    gossip
    on Saturday, June 5, 2010 at 12:45 am
    WOW! I am a total social butterfly and when i run outta things to talk about i start to gossip. And honestly i do use the excuse " its not gossiping if its true" all the time. i will usually stay on the phone for hours with my friends talking a mile a minute. i know that gossip is not nice but it is very tempting.
    One day in my Latin class we were talking about gossiping with my teacher (because me and three friends have a problem with gossiping) and he gave us a quote that he had learned in his past:
    " What makes you think that your friend can keep a secert when you couldn't resist the urge to tell them in the first place?"
    This quote has helped me and i hope that it will help you.
    Sequoia
    Re:mackenzy
    on Friday, June 18, 2010 at 3:38 pm
    Wow,Mackenzie. I loved that quote that your teacher gave you. It makes a very good point. I mean..talking about someone being in the hospital isn't gossip, but talking about why "Blake" broke up with "Sarah" is. I talk a lot about gossip a lot, but I usually don't consider it as gossip. Thanks for the post, Erin. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
    Jaime
    Re:
    on Saturday, July 3, 2010 at 10:12 pm
    Gossiping is one of the things I have struggled hardest with changing. It's so hard when everyone around you is talking about someone (good or bad) and you have something to say, but KNOW it doesn't NEED to be said Or when you don't particularly like a person and you feel like adding your two cents in. I've just been trying to either say lets talk about something other than "so and so" or say something to defend the person and hopefully move on from the gossip convo. I sure hope that's the right thing to do in a situation like that. I know, for me atleast, I often don't even realize I'm "gossiping" about somone and then suddenly I think "Oh, no...why did I say that?" I know I'll always struggle with keeping my mouth shut when conversations start about other people, but I have faith I'll get better about dealing with it in time.Thanks for this post, I think it'll help me to continue changing my ways :)
    God daughter
    Gossip
    on Friday, July 23, 2010 at 11:47 pm
    Gossiping can cause such great division. You should not even let yourself dwell among people that gossip. Listening to gossip is also apart of gossiping.
    caroline
    well....
    on Saturday, August 7, 2010 at 9:09 pm
    what about talking to my mom she always tells me not to gossip but then she gossips and i tend to gossip with her what do i do?
    Audrey
    Gossip
    on Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 7:23 pm
    Gossip has really divided all the girls in our church. There are two groups in our age group: the cool group, and the un-cool group. I'm really not trying to brag, but I'm like the most popular one, and i used to gossip a lot. Me and my best friend made a pact not to gossip but now we are the ones being gossiped about instead of the one gossiping. But we have been able to bring the "un-cool" group and us together. Unfortunately, the rest of the "popular" group are still gossiping but at least we aren't a part of it anymore
    Sandy
    Gossipping
    on Monday, March 25, 2013 at 1:03 am
    This was really helpful! I've been convicted bh the Holy Spirit lately about gossiping but didn't really know God's views on it or what gossiping really entails. Thanks for the information & wisdom!

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