Do you treat your parents with respect? Take this quiz and find out. "/>

Do you respect your parents?

Erin Davis 08/25/10 | Twitter: @ErinGraffiti
Category: Relationships ; 59 comments

Do you treat your parents with respect? Take the quiz below and find out. disrespect
  1. Do you acknowledge your parents when you enter the room, even with a simple "Hi, Mom"?
  2. When your friends come over to your house, do you introduce them to your parents so they know who is in their home?
  3. When you and your parents disagree, do you frequently raise your voice or stay calm?
  4. Do you try to control activities in your home—not telling your mom where you plan to go out, not letting your dad listen to his favorite radio station, not seeking permission before changing the channels on TV?
  5. When you are away from your parents, do you call or text often to let them know where you are and what you're doing?
  6. Do you speak highly of your parents in front of them and behind their backs?
  7. Do you participate in family activities?
  8. How do you respond when your parents ask you to complete household chores?
  9. Are you proud of what your parents have accomplished?
  10. Does fighting with your parents feel like a "normal" part of your life?

There are no right or wrong answers. These questions are designed to get you thinking about the way you treat your parents. Relationships between daughters and their parents vary widely from girl to girl and sometimes from day to day. But there is one factor that remains constant—God calls each of us to treat our parents with respect.

If you've been a Christian for very long, the idea of honoring your parents can start to feel a little like a Sunday school lesson. We know that God's Word mentions the subject, but for some reason, this is a truth that often doesn't seep far enough into our hearts to change the way that we act.

Let me point out two places in Scripture where our relationship with our parents is mentioned that you may not have seen before.

Check out Exodus 20:12. Honoring our fathers and mothers is listed among the Ten Commandments. But there's a promise contained in that verse that isn't found among the other commandments. Check it out:

"Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you."

This promise is uniquely reserved for those who honor their parents. Pay close attention to who gets the blessing here. It isn't the parents who are being honored but the daughter or son who is doing the honoring. When we live like God has asked us to in this area, we reap the blessings. 

Romans 1:29–31 reinforces how important this issues is to God:

"They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless."

This passages lists disobeying parents among some pretty serious offenses. Our modern culture probably wouldn't even consider listing parental disobedience as wicked or evil, but God does and that's what matters.

I love how Nancy and Dannah approach this issue in Lies Young Women Believe.

"What it comes down to is this: Our willingness to submit to human authority is the greatest evidence of how big we believe God really is. Do you believe He is bigger and greater than any human authority? Do you trust that He is big enough to change the hearts of those He has placed in authority over you? ...

The Truth about submission is that a higher authority controls every human authority and that godly submission is a means of great blessing and protection" (Lies Young Women Believe, 114).

So ... how big do you think God is? Does the way you treat your parents line up with God's truth?

Note: To find out more about how I treated my mom when I was your age, check out tomorrow's post. (Hint: Eye rolling and screaming were my favorite forms of communication!)

 

Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

    Lydia
    uuuugggghhhh
    on Wednesday, August 25, 2010 at 3:58 pm
    i have a hard time with this. not really with my mom, but more with my dad. hes not the best dad ever, like i cant talk to him about everything, and i deffinatly do not respect him very well. see, he decided that he and my mom needed to take a break, so theyr not living together now. he didnt respect my mom or me and my brothers when he left, so i have a really hard time respecting him. and now hes making us wait for months before he decided to get a divorce or not, and he isnt even talking to my mom right now. i know i need to respect him and honor him more, but i dont know how to do that, especially now
    Erin Davis
    Lydia
    on Wednesday, August 25, 2010 at 4:32 pm
    That's tough! I actually faced a very similar situation when I was 10. My parents have been divorced now for 20 years and I still struggle to respect my dad because of the damage done to our family. But I can say that I have seen the benefits of choosing to do what God says rather than indulge my feelings in this area.

    Hope this helps, sweet girl!

    Erin
    Jackie
    Trying to do my best and better
    on Wednesday, August 25, 2010 at 6:17 pm
    My parents divorced when I was 3 or 4. I am so blessed that my dad did not leave us for good, but both families live here in town. I have a Mom and stepdad, Dad and step mom who all love me. Each household has it's own set of rules that almost contradict eachother. two different extreams. It's very difficult and very frustrating. However I do my best, and I'm looking for ways to do better in showing respect to my parents/step parents. the funny thing is, is that I can go so over board, it drives them crazy! lol. My mom has to practicaly FORCE me out the door to go do something with my friends, I hover over my step mom when she's trying to cook (because I'm making the effort to be more sociable then I have been towards her) and it's just hilarious. I never go somewhere, even to a friend's house across the street without someone knowing. I hope that people can see that I honor God who has given me the mentality to find it so easy to get along with all four of my parents.
    enzie
    ok
    on Wednesday, August 25, 2010 at 7:27 pm
    The friends I invite over already know my parents really well so I dont have that problem at all. I talk very highly of my parents to my friends. i brag about how cool they are. I dont shout at my parents unless it's on a very big issue and I'm defending myself. I like love my parents. they're awesome. <3<3<3
    Heather
    Re:
    on Thursday, August 26, 2010 at 12:35 am
    I definitely don't give my mother the respect she deserves, and my father really just doesn't deserve respect, period. I know I should try to show him respect anyway.... And the thing with my mother is that she doesn't even really care.

    I really have a difficult time respecting my grandmother, though. She says things like that I'll never marry, I've never had a boyfriend like that's bad, I'll be 100 before I have sex, and things like that. I have a REALLY hard time trying to hold my tongue when she says things like that.
    ol krav
    Re:
    on Thursday, August 26, 2010 at 3:24 am
    that's exactly what i wrote in my dieary today.. to make it a deliberate goal to gain true respect for my parents.. i mean i can respect them on the outside by acting like it, but its really hard to genuinelly respect and honor them..that's why im going to start looking for all the positive thing in them that i can find and maybe write those down.. i think that should help
    enzie
    wait....
    on Thursday, August 26, 2010 at 7:52 pm
    But im not perfect by any means. I still am rude to my parents and am sarcastic too. I wish I could take back all the mean stuff I say. <3
    Soulja4Jesus
    Wow!!
    on Thursday, August 26, 2010 at 8:10 pm
    Yeah, I find myself yelling at my parents and just being a bit rude sometimes... This post has really made me think about that... thankyou!! =D
    Elizabeth
    Heather
    on Friday, August 27, 2010 at 6:22 pm
    I know how you feel. My dad cheated on my mom and I feel he doesn't deserve respect. If we as Christians got what we deserved, we would go to hell. It is all about giving him grace. I will pray for you. I do care for you and sympathize with you. That is why you need to hear the truth. I LOVE YOU! :)
    Becca
    WOW! God Thing!!!
    on Saturday, August 28, 2010 at 3:15 pm
    Just last night I had an aweful attitude towards my mom, and now I get an awesome LYWB article exactly about what I was struggling with! God is AWESOME! Thank you so much!

    Becca
    SarahGrace
    parents!
    on Saturday, August 28, 2010 at 8:08 pm
    My mom and dad split when i was 4 or 5 and finally divorced when i was 5 and a half. It was hard and it still has an effect on me. My mom remarried and i got adopted by him. I have really learned to respect him. My mom and i get along great and my relationship with my dad is growing every day!
    KATIE
    I NEED CLOTHES AND FRIENDS
    on Tuesday, August 31, 2010 at 9:53 pm
    i told my mom i have no clothes and she just says yes you do!SHE DOES NOT LETS ME WEAR ANYTHING ABOVE MY KNEES!I HAVE NO FRIENDS AND NO CLOTHES!!!
    Forever His
    Re: Honor & Respect
    on Wednesday, September 1, 2010 at 1:22 pm
    I know exactly what you mean about the old Sunday school teaching. I find that when I repect my parents we all get along better.:) I have been having a great relationship with them for years, though I don't go to then for every little detail as I do God, I know they'd be there. :) i pray that all your family situations improve. The LORD's hand is truely always on your life.:)
    Sasha
    Thank You!
    on Thursday, September 2, 2010 at 11:23 am
    I have been getting better, usually it's with my mom that I have the attitude. I don't see my dad often because he has a weird job schedule. That affects me a lot and so sometimes I get mad at my mom because my earthly dad isn't around. Please be in prayer.
    Statisfied In I AM
    HERE'S MY STROY I NEED SOME ADVICE PLEASE!!!!!!!
    on Sunday, September 5, 2010 at 10:35 pm
    Well my story is kind of weird when it come to this topic but there are no excuses...My mom gave me away to my aunt because she didn't want me(i was 4 years old) my aunt abused me mentally and physically...It wasn't a great home even though i got what ever i wanted...my mom decided to come back into me life when i turned 17 (I'm still 17 about to turn 18 in a few months) but eventually my aunt kicked me out(she accused me of having sexual relationships with the boys in my school because they were always calling and coming to the house looking for me) I had no were to go my mom said that i should go to live with her and her new husband and step kids...i agreed but i didn't know what i was getting into...my moms husband was "Godly" if he could call him self God he would...He would use God as a defense or excuse for example when we would be having family bible study he would bring "imported wine"(that he got from the conor store) and a mirror. While having study he would constantly looking into the mirror and making kissy faces and what not...Then when i would ask what he was doing he would say i do it because I'm looking at God and his reason for drinking would be he was getting closer to the holy Ghost..i would try and help him out by holding him accountable for his sins but he would just say stuff like you wish you looked this Good. One time he basically spit in my face and told me what do you know your just a woman and he would call me a kid even though he was the one mocking me and acting like a baby...Even though i was kind of my fault i could have said something in an easier way and at a better time...(mind you though if he would do that to me it makes me wonder what he does to her i don't want her living in that home plus he believes he's one of the closest things to God so he idolizes himself...) but i have problems because i forgive my mom fully but it hard to respect her when we have such different opinions and she;s always accusing me of having sexual relationships with husband and my step brother...(this always seems to haunt me...) but the thing is her husband likes me so he tries to set me against her he tells her i walk past him to get a soda so i can look at him...so she made a rule that when he is upstairs i go down stairs when is down stairs i go up stairs and he puts it in her head that i have sex with my brother which is nasty i love him but not in that way i don't think i want to marry him...Its even got the the point where i try to avoid my mom and step father...My mom even encourages that i have sex with other boys so i won't be interested in her husband...(Its been rough time but i pray all the time and its starting to get better(now i live with my older sister and her husband and they encourage me to be the best i can be and to live for God they really love me...and i should mention that my relationship with my aunt has gotten a whole lot better :) But i have a question Does any one have any advice when it comes to my step dad and my mom?
    sammy
    Re:
    on Monday, September 6, 2010 at 12:06 am
    its so hard for me to respect my parents because they dont respect me and my stepdad always insults me and treats me like dirt and my mom plays it off as stress.i really feel lke im being raised by myself and inm all alone i know God is there but i want a earthly parents too. its hard to feel loved when all you hear is yelling and anger please pray for me
    Katie Sarah
    Katie
    on Monday, September 6, 2010 at 8:31 am
    Katie,
    That is very good of your mom, she is trying to keep you modest. If you thing she is overduing it, maybe you can ask her, very respectfully why she won't let you wear certain clothes. Perhaps you can tell her why you want to wear certain clothes, and maybe you can make a deal. Let her know how you feel. If she chages her mind, good for you. Remember to stay modest. If she doesn't, you must live with your desicion and still resepect her.

    I know I have issues with this. I am soooo stuborn, I am always right, I'm in charge, etc. This is a great example for me, thank you. I need to respect my parents all the time.
    Jayden
    For Satisfied in I AM
    on Monday, September 13, 2010 at 10:45 pm
    Dear Satisfied in I AM,
    Wow, girl. You have been through a lot. I don't know if I'm in a good position to be advising you, but I will try to encourage you. You sound like you really have a heart for God. Be sure you don't believe that you can't talk to anyone. I'm sure someone will be open to listening to you and helping you, and if you can't find anyone, just bring eveything before God. I hope this helps- I was anorexic for a while, and I absolutely hated my mom for making me eat, but at the same time, I hated my dad for not being involved in my life. God really had to change me to respect them, and my anorexia has actually brought me much closer to my mom and certainly to God. Remember that everything we go through, everything we see, everything we hear and say, it's all part of God's good, pleasing, and perfect will (part of Romans 12:2)

    God bless, and I'll pray for you!!
    Satisfied in I AM
    Thanks Jayden
    on Wednesday, September 15, 2010 at 1:59 pm
    Thank you for the supprt and your prayers i can really feel them working on me i'm slowly changing and getting better. Thank you so much and i'm happy for you because you got closer to God and your mom because god put you through it for a reason. Which was a great exaample for me to prove that he really does put you through everything for a reason. And once again thank you very much.
    Erin Davis
    Satisfied in I Am
    on Saturday, September 18, 2010 at 3:38 pm
    Wow! You have endured more than anyone should ever have to. I am proud of you for diligently seeking God's will despite the hardships you've endured.

    The relationships you described are highly complicated. I want to encourage you to find a Christian counselor or mentor to talk to if you have not already.

    I also just want to urge you to find ways to honor your parents despite their mistakes. This is not the same as continuing to be a doormat or putting yourself in dangerous positions, but more about finding ways to honor them with your own life and the way you speak of them. Does that make sense?

    Is there a mentor or counselor you can talk to about this more in depth?

    Erin
    eloise
    he's working it out
    on Friday, September 24, 2010 at 9:13 am
    i just want to say all of you are in my prayers and never give up on GOD. remember he is the author and the finisher of your faith. let the redeem of the lord say so.
    Anna
    My parents
    on Wednesday, September 29, 2010 at 4:44 pm
    My parents are great, I love them very much, infact it's my father's birthday today. I have been having trouble raising me voice when I talk to them. But I AM a assertive person. They love and honor God and care for my family. But I feel like I need to respect them more...... help please..?
    Kathryn
    My Daddy
    on Monday, October 4, 2010 at 8:03 am
    most of the time, i feel like Daddy's little angel with dirty, broken wings, a crooked halo, and tears in my not-so-stainless white dress. i cant really ask him things or just talk to him. i know he's not perfect, but i feel like we're not really family......PLEASE help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Erin Davis
    Kathryn
    on Wednesday, October 6, 2010 at 2:25 pm
    It sounds like there are issues at work in your family that are too big for me to address in a blog format. Is there a wise, Christian woman you could talk to about how you are feeling? Is this something that you think a Christian counselor could help with?

    Family issues are too important just to sweet under the rug. Find someone who can walk alongside you as you work to build respect for your dad.

    Erin
    Anna
    Erin
    on Monday, October 18, 2010 at 6:53 pm
    I really really want to work up more respect for my parents, I've been trying to but I always seem to fail... please pray for me..and what could I do better to respect them more?
    Satisfied in I AM
    edavis
    on Tuesday, October 19, 2010 at 2:07 pm
    yes there is somebody i have been talking to and they hav been helping me grow in God they are teaching me the thing i would have not know if i didn't speak up and ask. Thank you fot the advice
    Chloe
    Wow....
    on Friday, November 12, 2010 at 5:00 pm
    When I read this I began to think about and realize how little respect I show my parents. Sure, I know that I respect them but I don't show it enough. I do acknowledge my parents when I enter the room or when they do and I do introduce my friends to my parents, even if I'm at the mall with them and my Mom is just talking to me. However, when we have our fights my voice is not calm and I yell at them a lot. And when there are fights between my brothers I am always telling my Mom to make them stop and if I want to change the channel and my Dad's watching t.v., I change it. I let my parents know where I'm going before I go and then I call them when I'm ready to go home or am coming home or if I'm leaving the place that I went to earlier then I thought or want to know if I can stay later or will be home a few minutes late. My friends and I don't really talk about our parents that often and when we do I don't really say much about them besides my Dad is sometimes really harsh, which he is. As far as family activities go we don't really have those that often because most of the time when we try to my Dad says that he's too tired or we end up getting in a fight, so there's really not that much to participate with although I do play games with my brothers. When my parents ask me to do chores I am reluctant depending on what the chore is and how long ago I did it last. I am not very proud of what my Dad has accomplished because to be honest I don't really care anymore but I am proud of what my Mom has because of all that she has been through. Fighting with my Dad is a very normal thing but fighting with my Mom is becoming less and less of a problem as we grow closer. I don't really think that I have that good of a relationship with my Dad but my relationship that I have with my Mom is on most days better then a lot of teenagers.
    Robert
    My parents were just people I had to put up with.
    on Saturday, November 20, 2010 at 8:38 pm
    I wish my mom worked or my parents got divorced when I was younger. Being home was worse than being at school! Now I am 100% estranged from them and only talk to either of them sparely. Sometimes, years go by. I could not wait to get out of that house. People all the time tell me things like "I wish I were a kid again". I was never wish childhood on anyone! It is one of the most horrible experiences I ever had. And no, I do not love them and I cannot recall when I ever did.
    puretillmarriage
    Re:
    on Tuesday, November 23, 2010 at 2:17 pm
    Holy smokes,
    Statisfied In I AM you have been through so much i dont know what to do if i had to go through that storm.Remember when you do go through storms call upon the one who can calm them:}Having
    r-e-s-p-e-c-t for your parents is gonna be hard and if you ever get scared remember


    Psalm 56:3
    What time I am afraid I will trust
    in thee:}
    Morgan
    I understand
    on Friday, November 26, 2010 at 6:25 pm
    My dad left when i was two days old. So i dont really know him. My mom remaried when i was really younge, and i thought that my step dad was my real dad. So i never asked anything about it. Well, i was in 2nd grade about to go into 3rd when they got devorced. It was only after a while that i noticed things, like my mom talking about my dad, my sister calling him slate. It didn't take long for me to figure it out. I started asking questions. and i got few of them.
    e and my dad talk some times, but its very rarely. When i was in 6th grade my stepmom wouldn't let me and my older sister come visit him in washington, so he had to come visit us along with all of his family. But i've always wondered.. why didn't he care before? Why didn't he do this sooner? I now know why him and my mom got devorcied. And i can't say i blame him. After his dad died he just kinda lost who he was.
    I've learned to respect my mom a WHOLE lot more. Because she has put her life on hold for me and my oldest sister, and things have been really tough. My dad hasn't sent much child support. And i know your probably thinking that money could be tight for him too, but it not. Hes in the army and hes wife has an ipad and everything else you could imagine.
    Now dont get me wrong, i dont dislike my step mom because she married to my dad. It just bothers me that she does witchcraft. and it bothers me even worse that my dad actually excepts it. And doesn't say anything. My dad was in an christian home, trust me. My nanny is a great christian women.
    So, i dont have much repect for my dad. And sometimes i dont show it to my mom.Which im working on changing. But its hard because my dad is in korea, where he will be for 4 years
    SegaFreak4ever
    Are we (kids) the bosses of our own PARENTS?
    on Tuesday, December 7, 2010 at 9:44 pm
    The problem w/ me is that I'am 2 stubborned. I always argue w/ my parents and end up w/ a bad day. But, God had change my heart. So, from now on, instead of saying "But", I say "Yes mom"or"Yes Dad." Just 2 tell everybody, u always can't get d best of yr parents. They r just 2 good 2 win an arguement.
    Gods girl
    RE:
    on Thursday, December 16, 2010 at 6:55 pm
    WOW.. i really need to improve! all the time i get sooo upset with my parents! i try everything to not disrespect, but i need to just hold my tongue and pray to God. im a littl better than i was befor but i still need to try harder! :)
    krista
    ugggggg
    on Monday, March 21, 2011 at 5:50 pm
    ok i have a question, can a mom be over protective. because if im on the computer shes right beside me.if im in my room she asks what im doing. she has to know everthing im doing. i really love her and i know shes just trying to protect me but im curious if she just doesnt trust me. i dont know where i messed up or what i did wrong but im the only one that she does that to. i really think she doesnt trust me..idk!! please reply
    Erin Davis
    Krista
    on Tuesday, March 29, 2011 at 3:23 pm
    Yes, moms can be overprotective. But, here's a hard truth...how your mom acts is not your responsibility. How you respond...is.

    Exodus 20:12 says, "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.

    Deuteronomy 5:16 says, "'Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you."

    Matthew 15:4 says, "For God commanded, 'Honor your father and your mother,' and, 'Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.'"Whole Chapter)

    Matthew 19:19 says, "Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

    There are more verses with the same theme, but you get the point...

    The best way you can honor God in this situation is to honor your mom, even when she seems unreasonable to you.

    You can do it!

    Erin
    Elizabeth <3
    why is respecting your parents so hard?!
    on Wednesday, April 13, 2011 at 9:19 am
    ok so i've been a christian since i was five and i love Jesus Christ with all my heart, but i just cant seem to get the whole "respect your parents" thing down... i love mt mom and dad soooooo much and i would die w/o them in my life but my mom and i are sooooo different and my dad and i are so alike. my dad and i have an AMAZING INCREDIBLE relationship. we never fight. he never yells at me... we just have nice talks and discussions when we dissagree on something. me and my mom on the other hand dissagree on almost everything and we have horrible fights over them. i think this is because my parents dissagree on how u should handle a dispute... i respect my dad all the time b/c he respects me... he listens to what i have to say and it is patient and he never yells at me even when he is disaplining me. whereas my mom always just wnts what she has to say to be said and me to hear and obey it and thats that. she's the mom and she can tell me whatever she wnts me to do and i have to submit it b/c she said so. she always says that i am way to critical of her but the truth of the matter is that she is to critical of me... who is right and whio is wrong... got any advice...?
    Hannah :)
    Krista's post
    on Wednesday, April 13, 2011 at 9:23 am
    i'm soooooooooooooooo with you Krista!! my mom is the same way. it drives me crazy... but i do love my mom. she always tells me that i have plenty of privacy but when i'm txting one of my friends she's always like, " who r u txting and what r u tlking about?" i always wna lie, b'c i dnt wnt her to know... so then im in the wrong but she was in the wrong to str with and she caused mr =eto stumble... eeeerrrrrrgggghhh!! it's sooooooo frusterating... :'(
    Elizabeth <3
    aaaaaahhh!
    on Wednesday, April 13, 2011 at 9:27 am
    i soooooooo need to work on this area of my life... i try soooooooo hard to not disresect mu mom, but i always fail... EVERY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!! my daddy tells me that i need to stop trying and start dying. Jesus commands us to die to ourselves. I want to!!! but how exactly do i die to myself? erin?
    Mackenzie
    Parents
    on Tuesday, April 19, 2011 at 9:40 pm
    I fall short in some of these areas in this quiz. I have a very good relationship with my mom... I tell her everything. But sometimes, I am not very respectful to my dad, I mean, I pray alot that that I can get strength in this area, but it is so hard!!! It is so easy to roll your eyes when your parents tell you to do something or think, "who do you think you are?" or stuff like that, but it is a constant battle and we all have to constantly die to our flesh.
    Erin, what can I do to build a relationship with my dad? Last night, I went up to my dad and put my arms around him I loved him and I think that really meant alot to him. It made me feel good inside, I am trying. He is a really good, godly father who does his best and I love him very much. But I struggle just like any other teen.
    Stressed Out Mom
    Am I wrong?
    on Sunday, May 15, 2011 at 3:21 pm
    I am a mom of an 11 year old, beautiful, yet strong-willed daughter. She is extremely sassy to me and her dad. There is a constant war that is at play, on a daily basis, in our home. She is of the belief that she is in control of herself and her parents can't tell her what to do. (NOT!) Constantly argues, makes sarcastic remarks, rolls her eyes, raises her voice and acts like she is the boss of our home. She has an android phone, a four wheeler, lives in a nice house with her own room that has a tv and cable, a laptop computer, abercrombie clothes, etc.-Yes,we spoil her too much and are making changes. She also has parents who will do anything for her, show her love by showing affection; telling her often and how much we love her.She is very angry at me because I work too much and her dad for many mistakes he has made. I'm not perfect but I try hard to be a good mom to her. I feel like a bad mom but worse, if I can't make her see that her behavior is not setting her up for a successful adult life. That kind of behavior will not be allowed in a corporate board meeting or a college class, adult friends? There will be none. I don't want this attitude to shape my daughter an define her. She is soooo much more than that! I want to hear from you, girls. What advice do you have for me and my daughter?
    A friend in Pennsylvania
    Re:Stressed Out Mom
    on Wednesday, May 18, 2011 at 11:58 am
    Hi! my heart went out to you the second i read your post. When i was her age i acted EXACTLY like yuor daughter. I still do alot of the time and i am now 6 years older! i think it's just a thing with moms and daughters. i know that i may make things harder on you and your daughter, but maube if you cut back on all the "toys" she has, she would realize how good she has it. i beg all the time for the tings she has and my parents consistently say NO. this has actually given me a huge appreciation for my parents and for the fact that i really do have it good when so many other people who have all of that don't even have parents that care about them or love them. it's COMPLETELY up to you and your husband, but maybe if you spent some quality family time together just as your family, where she wouldn't have any of those modern day conveniances with her. like taking a walk, or making dinner together, or playing a board game or whatever you and your family love to do together. avoid movies though, because that doesn't give you and your daughter an opportinity to TALK and CONNECT with eash other. i think that's what you guys need most of all. to talk and laugh and have fun together without her fad electronics getting in the way. like i said... me and my mom went through this EXACT same thing. as soon as those things that were making me take asvantage of my parents were removed, than my relationship with BOTH of my parents began to improve. NO! It will not be easy, and i guarrentee she will not like it at first, but i know that you love her more than anything else, and hat you want the best for her so why not give it a go. also ... WHATEVER YOU DO! Try not to yell and scream. from the daughter's perspective, it INSTANTLY puts us on the defensive and makes us want to yell right back and sream OUR side of it. it just goes WAY better if yuo keep your temper and voice gentle. SHE WILL TOO if you do! i wish you the best of luck on this. keep me informed as to how it's going. i'd love to give you more advice as needed. love to you in Christ the risen Lord!
    Your Friend in Pennsylvania :)
    Lorree
    Re: Stressed Out Mom
    on Monday, June 6, 2011 at 11:43 am
    Hey Stressed Out Mom,

    Erin asked that I respond to your post.

    We are encouraged to hear that you are making changes in the material possessions you give to your daughter. It is important that both you and your husband are unified on how to approach this situation.

    We encourage you to pray for your daughter. Spend time in the Word yourself and with your family. Make your own walk with the Lord a visible priority in your life. Keep the Word of God between you and her. If you have “made mistakes”, it is important to seek your daughter’s forgiveness and tell her that because God has made you aware of these mistakes, you are going to do things differently. As she begins to see the genuineness of your attitudes in the changes you make, she will come around. Consistency is vital. You and your husband need to be in constant communication so that you are presenting your selves to your daughter as a unified team. If she asks you for something, say you are going to check with Dad before you give her an answer. If she asks your husband, he needs to say that he’s going to check with you. Consistency in communication as well as discipline and letting her know what you expect of her are important.

    We also encourage you to get involved in a local church where your daughter can develop friendships with girls who don’t respond to their parents with lack of respect. Helping her to choosing friends with similar values as you can be a huge step in the right direction. Another idea is for your family to go on a mission trip together to a third world country. You will experience the realities of life in another culture. It can have a huge impact on your hearts as you look at how materialism has impacted your lives and your family.

    Keep in mind that although this seems difficult, it is not impossible to overcome. We serve the God of the impossible (Matt. 19:26). God can do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think (Eph. 3:20) as we turn to Him and seek His Wisdom (Jas. 1:5) and grace in matters like this (2. Cor. 12:9-10).

    Lorree
    sushmita
    unbelieving parents
    on Wednesday, October 26, 2011 at 3:14 am
    Hey,

    I am from India and my family follows Hinduism and i am the only one who knows The One. And i know i am supposed to respect our parents and i do most of the time. But there are times when they tell me things that i just can't do no matter what. There was a time when my parents found out about me loving Jesus and they asked me to stop. Stop! Like that's even possible!

    But coming back to the point, there are times when my parents tell me stuff i can't do. Is that bad? is that called not respecting your parents? i mean i can't just leave God, my mom keeps complaining about life day and night and i hate it! I've tried to talk to her but she just yells at me and tell me to shut up and so i do. she'll rant about her life and expect me to say negative about people and i can't, you know we can't. and when i don't she thinks i am not supporting her, not respecting her.
    Is respecting something like that worth it? How can i respect something that i am not even suppose to like?
    What do i do?
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    re: unbelieving parents
    on Monday, October 31, 2011 at 4:38 pm
    Dear sushmita,

    What a blessing it is to have you here on the LYWB Blog. I’m thrilled that you have come to know Jesus as Lord and Savior of your life, dear friend! There is just nothing like being His daughter! Oh, what a great honor the Lord has given you to be the first person saved in your family!

    He wants to use you, dear friend, to show the love of Christ to others…beginning with your parents.
    Oh, Sushmita, I realize you will face challenges in doing this, but Jesus is living in you! He will give you His grace to endure the trials you may encounter.

    “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when His glory is revealed (1 Peter 4:12-13).”
    As your parents (and SO many others) see your life being transformed by Jesus, they will become curious; they will want to understand what has made the difference in your life. And they may indeed be led into the arms of the Savior by their precious daughter who loved and respected them as she drew strength each day from her Savior. Oh, yes it will be worth every minute of honoring and respecting your parents in every way except where there counsel/direction runs contrary to God’s Word. “We must obey God rather than men (Acts 5:29). For instance, you would not stop praying (Daniel 6 is an O.T. example of this); you would not sacrifice or bow before another god (Daniel 3) etc.

    Remember, friend, respect is often communicated through our tone of voice, choice of words, timing, and attitude. An attitude of humility and servant hood will communicate a genuine concern for your parents and others.

    Praying you will soon have stories of those you love coming to know the Savior!

    God bless you, friend!
    Meg Griffin
    Point 6
    on Thursday, November 3, 2011 at 12:49 am
    Is it disrespectful of your parents to tell the truth about them? I have trouble with my mom, and sometimes, I just can't take it anymore, and I need to talk about it. I know that if my mom knew that I had told people about some of the things she has said, she would be very upset, but I can't just bottle it up inside and never tell anyone simply because my mom would be ashamed that others know what she has said.
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    re: Meg
    on Tuesday, November 8, 2011 at 1:59 pm
    Ephesians 4:29 gives some good guidance in speaking about others. It says:

    “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

    Your words, whether spoken in front of your mom or not, need to be spoken in such a way that they do not tear her reputation down. You walk a fine line in needing someone to talk to in this season of your life, Meg, and giving respect to your mom. I encourage you to be very careful who you speak to about this. Can you speak to your dad about how you are feeling? If not, I encourage you to try to find a godly older woman in your church whom you can confide in and can be trusted to keep everything you say to her confidential as she encourages you, prays for you and supports in seeking to give your mom the respect she deserves. Speak to your pastor or your youth pastor about this. They can direct you to someone who can listen and encourage you.

    Your mom is not perfect and until she comes to know Jesus as her Lord and Savior, she will continue to say things that hurt you. But it is important that you realize you cannot use your mom’s sin as an excuse for your sin, Meg. We are to honor our parents. We don’t have to like or approve of the things they do, but we are to honor the position they have in our lives as our parents. When we choose to obey God and honor our parents, God promises that He will bless our lives on this earth (Eph. 6:1-3). Hang in there – God will give you His grace to hold up under this in a way that you can endure (I Cor. 10:13). I am praying for you, Meg!
    karyn
    seriousley!?
    on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 8:37 am
    this is sooo stupid i dont respect my so called dad because my life has been hard when i was little my mom had me a single mom and when i was four she married a busy guy right away she had my little brother and he has disabilities and haert problems when i was trying to get used to the new family member and after my brothers last surgery my mom got pregnant again and was on bedrest and i had to be taken care of by my weird granparents and complete strangers and when that was over i found out about my real father and now my so called dad slaps me and throws me around my room i get so sick of it and burst out with rage and i just dont know wat to do anymore i have been diagnosed with mood swing disorder and cant controll myself i have taken over 200 types of medicines and gone to a mental hospital and im at the point where i trust noone and im always upset and my mom askes me y i dont see the good things in life :'(
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    Re: seriously!?
    on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 12:42 pm
    Precious friend, my heart hurts for you. I’m sorry for the heartache you have known. Know I am praying for you and your family today.

    If your physical well-being is in danger, we encourage you to appeal to your church leadership for protection, counsel and help. Let them know what is taking place at home, Karyn. If necessary go to the local authorities (Rom. 13:1). God has placed authorities in our life for our protection—please place yourself under their authority and seek their help.


    When you have a few minutes, would you take time to read/listen to this short clip (http://www.fathersloveletter.com/index.html)? I’m praying it will bring comfort to your hurting heart.
    Sierra
    I Have a Very Hard Time With My Parents
    on Friday, November 2, 2012 at 7:33 pm
    Ever since I was about 9, I hated my dad because he got me upset a LOT. I still do right now. I always argue with my mom. She gets me upset too. Dad always takes it out on me. HE EVEN MADE ME WRITE A 4,000 WORD ESSAY ABOUT RESPECTING MY PARENTS!!! I'M SO SICK OF RESPECTING MY PARENTS AND THEY DON'T RESPECT ME! IT'S LIKE DOING SOMETHING BIG AND THEY'RE STILL COMPLAINING ABOUT EVERYTHING!!! GOD WILL I EVER BE RESPECTED? I HATE GETTING MAD ALL THE TIME JUST BECAUSE I STRUGGLE RESPECTING MY PARENTS! D: I pray to you!
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ Sierra
    on Monday, November 5, 2012 at 6:36 pm
    I’m sorry you are so frustrated and angry with your parents, Sierra! God does command us to honor (respect) our parents and He promises that when we make the choice to obey Him in this that it will go well in our lives (Eph. 6:1-3). Have you ever made the choice to forgive your dad for the things he did to get you upset when you were younger? That might be a good place for you to start, Sierra. God tells us that we are to forgive others in the same way that He forgives us (Eph. 4:31-32). When we choose to not forgive, we often think that we are hurting the person back, but in reality we are the ones we are hurting as it leads to bitterness which has the potential to affect all our relationships – both on earth and our relationship with God.

    I encourage you to pour your heart out to God about what you are feeling. He can handle it and He can forgive you and give you the desire and ability to forgive your parents. I believe that you will notice a considerable difference in your relationship with them as you choose to obey God in the area of forgiveness and honoring them as parents. It doesn’t mean they won’t still do things that get you upset, but it means that you are being obedient to God. I’m praying for you Sierra and asking God to lead you through this so that your relationship with your parents can be reconciled and restored.
    How....... I am so frustrated!?
    ok so...
    on Monday, November 19, 2012 at 9:03 pm
    My mom and I are not exactly the best people to live together. A year ago my mom decided she was tired of trying with my dad and she got a job 1600 miles away from where I lived. she moved and expected me to come with her without really asking. I was forced to move up with her. we have a roommate to everyone in my neighborhood thinks that she's cheating on mydad with. even it wouldn't surprise me anymore. I try my best to respect her everyday but no matter what I do she always end up angry with me saying that I'm being rude. I have a really hard time respecting her and I feel like it's understandable with everything that she's put me through. our relationship has gotten so bad that I feel like to see if I move out I'm never going to talk to her again. I've tried to talk to her and she doesn't listen she just talks at Me. I witness more more respect her time goodbye because she's extremely rude to me. someone please give me advice. I am so lost.....
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ How...I am so frustrated?
    on Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 2:38 pm
    I’m so sorry you are struggling in your relationship with your mom, friend. You have gone through a lot in the last year! I am wondering…have you forgiven your mom for her decisions and for the way they have affected your life? If you haven’t, I encourage you to do so out of obedience to God. He tells us we are to forgive others in the same way He forgives us (Eph. 5:31-32). Praying for your mom and for an improvement in your relationship is a great way to demonstrate your forgiveness of her.

    I am glad you are trying to respect her. I know it’s hard, but you are doing the right thing! Keep on doing it, friend! You are not responsible for how your mom responds to you, but you are responsible for how you respond to her.

    Is there someone – an older godly woman in your church or in your neighborhood—perhaps a mom of one of your friends that you could talk to about how you are feeling? I think it would help you to have someone to share with, and someone who could pray with you and encourage you to keep doing the right thing. I’m praying for you, my friend!
    sarah
    confused
    on Thursday, January 10, 2013 at 7:40 pm
    Okay so im really confused and need advice. I respect my mother and love her very much. The thing is we are an Afghan family. She has me, my2older sisters, an older brother and a younger brother. She is an incredibly hard working women and has worked 2jobs for the past 10years to take care of us. I love her so much but....i grew up in an abusive home. She took care of us but like for example one time I got beat by her for spilling pancake mix and lying about it. I know I shouldn't have lied but I was like 11 or12 and scared cause I knew what was coming. Anyways im 18 now living away from home. The abuse stopped when I was around 14 or 15 but I have always been emotionally and mental abused by her. Things like this have been said to me ... "I pray to God everyday that you die." You have ruined my life and this family" "You have no mother or family" basically disowning me. I just heard this from her a week ago because she doesn't like my boyfriend. She also told me I wasn't welcome in her home anymore and she didn't want me to show my face to her. Well now the culture plays a big role because my mom likes to control EVERYTHING in our lives down to marriage and jobs. I dont let her so she hates me. This week we have my sisters mother in law staying at my moms house, she just came here from Afghanistan. My sister called and said mom wants you to stay here while my mother in law is here so no one (afghan community here and back home) finds out you dont live at home. In our culture the girl stay at home till she's married off. Just last week she told me i had no mother and i wasn't welcome in her home. And she didn't want a Christian living under her roof (my family is Muslim and i converted) but now so she can keep her good name and status she wants me to come home and pretend i live there. What should i do. I dint t want to break the commandments but i also dont see where this is fair and why i should have to do this when all she wants is peoples approval and i learned to only seek Gods. Will God approve of me not going...? Thank you for your time and help. Hope i hear from you soon. God bless.
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    @Sarah...
    on Wednesday, January 16, 2013 at 4:54 pm
    I can see why you are confused. This is a very difficult situation. The Bible tells us to obey God rather than man. We are so thankful you have accepted Christ and follow Him. You don't have to go home in order to please God. You would go back for a visit in order to bring the light of Christ to your mother and family. You need wise counsel. I encourage you to go to your pastor and/or church leaders. They will know your situation better than anyone and will have the spiritual umbrella of protection over you. Seek their counsel and let them pray with you about what you should do. Commit yourself, in either situation, to present yourself as one saved by Christ and a longing for them to know Him. Speak with grace and truth; act in godly ways of kindness even in the face of persecution. Keep your eyes on Jesus and the eternal reward before you. Memorize these verses to help you respond appropriately:

    "And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life." Matthew 19:29

    "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." Matthew 5:11-12

    God is watching; He will take each action into account: "and you have perseverance and have endured for My name's sake, and have not grown weary." Rev. 2:3

    Know that I have prayed for you several days, asking God for direction and wisdom for you.
    num83ers
    Re:
    on Sunday, January 20, 2013 at 5:57 pm
    I think the respect part isn't a big problem in our family. (All it takes is one episode of disrespect and it'll be months-even years before it happens again...) I just want to show more gratitude and love toward them in my actions because I can say things, but my actions may not be showing them. Any suggestions on how to do better in showing them respect through actions,rather than broken words and promises?
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    @num83ers
    on Monday, January 28, 2013 at 10:58 am
    Hey, friend. I so appreciate your heart to honor your parents. I responded to your question here: (http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=875&jvcca3c7b2=1).

    Blessings,
    Carrie
    Jory
    inGCFxhUWLJDueRsb
    on Friday, March 8, 2013 at 6:40 am
    Your posting is abosluelty on the point!
    Rizwan Ansari
    Respect your parents
    on Sunday, May 19, 2013 at 1:16 pm
    Everybody should be respect to parents
    A girl in CALIFORNIA
    WOAH!
    on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 6:07 pm
    I couldn't believe everything everyone was (is) going through at first but I do now. Long story short I was once phisically , mentally ,and emotionally abused I never knew why my family never really loved me I was a very good child but they always said I wasn't. I would pray to God everyday and then he finally answered my prayers I now live with a relative and go through no abuse. I LOVE GOD FOR GIVING ME HOPE TO LIVE THROUGH MY SORROW AND FOR SAVING ME FROM IT TOO.
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    @ a girl in CALIFORNIA
    on Wednesday, October 30, 2013 at 11:40 am
    I am so thankful to know that you are in a safe place now, my friend. It blesses our hearts to hear you give God glory for what He has done and is doing in your life. May God continue to heal you emotionally and bring beauty out of the ashes of these tragedies (Is. 61:1-4). Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, my friend. He is the author and finisher of your faith (Heb. 12:2). What He begins He will bring to completion (Phil. 1:6).

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