Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

Maddie
Wow
on Thursday, September 16, 2010 at 2:02 am
---
Thankyou Erin, what an amazing thought.
Kittygirl
yes!
on Thursday, September 16, 2010 at 7:57 am
---
so true!
i'm 16, never had a bf, so maybe i'm just really inexperienced, but it seems like whenever i think about the guy that i really really like... right now all i think about is how happy it would be for ME if we were together, what he could do to encourage and help ME, how happy he makes ME feel when i am around him, how God has blessed ME by letting me know this guy and be friends with him.

It sounds ridiculous, but it has never really entered my mind how i would serve my husband once we were married, how i would help him and do him good...i never realized how selfish i am about this kind of thing!

a few days ago i read this quote by C.S. Lewis too
"Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"

and 1st corinthians 13 says that love does not seek its own

so i need to work on that!
Katelyn
All the days of your life...
on Thursday, September 16, 2010 at 8:52 am
---
This was really an eye opener for me. I have read this passage before and never realized that even before we are married we should be doing good to our husbands. But one way I think that now, before we are married, is to just pray for our husband. :) Because God knows exactly who he is! Which I think is awesome. Also a way I think we could be good to our husbands is by staying pure until marriage. There are many other ways to do good to our future husband but these are just two of the ways I think we can be good to our future husbands. :)
Stephi
Great Thought
on Thursday, September 16, 2010 at 9:25 am
---
I have never had a boyfriend either, but I am at college now and that could be a good possibility in my very near future. I have always wanted to stay pure for my husband, but I never thought about what I could be doing for him right now. I keep a journal of love letters (kind of like a diary telling him about myself and my hopes and dreams) but I rarely stop to think about what he would want from me. I now realize that I don't need to be looking at the 3000+ guys on campus and thinking about what they look like. God has a special person for me. He will bring us together and He doesn't need my help. I just need to pray about it and for my future husband.
Libs
The second question...
on Thursday, September 16, 2010 at 9:54 am
---
The second question you asked is the most challenging one to me... the one about your future career. This is an important thing to think about. Thank you for asking the 'hard questions'
Meg
Awesome
on Thursday, September 16, 2010 at 11:57 am
---
I really like that post! Thank you!
Sheila
What a wonderful truth
on Thursday, September 16, 2010 at 12:11 pm
---
Amen! May it be so. Doing good to others is all through the Bible. Doing good to your family is just as important as doing good to anyone outside your family. What better representatives our Christian homes would be if all believing women remembered to do good, not harm, to their loved ones.
Daniela
Wow
on Thursday, September 16, 2010 at 7:42 pm
---
I've never even considered what you said erin. It's so true! The right guy is out there and I need to be thinking about my choices now because they could effect me later. I also agree with you Katelyn. I should be praying for my husband now. Thank you for opening my eyes!
Marilyn
Never thought of it that way
on Thursday, September 16, 2010 at 8:18 pm
---
I've never thought about marriage that way. Interesting thought.... And very true!
Traci
COMPLETE Purity until marriage...
on Thursday, September 16, 2010 at 10:36 pm
---
I'm 18 and never had a boyfriend (and proud of it - and I will be COURTING when the time comes!!!) :D
Anyway, here's a thought that I've actually heard preached (though not very often, as not many people will agree) - if you think about it though, it will change the way you think about guys!
If you want to do your husband good ALL the days of your life, don't touch guys (in any romantic way, including holding hands!), or even FLIRT with them, until your wedding day! This sounds extreme, but think of how you would feel if you saw your husband (future or otherwise) going around holding hands with some other girl, and flirting shamelessly with her, then reverse it: how would your husband feel if he saw you going around holding hands with another guy and flirting with him (much less hugging and kissing and whatnot)?
Just something to think about... hearing it that way really changed the way I think when I see guys and girls holding hands and flirting and such, and when I find myself starting to flirt, I picture my husband watching me, and it changes my attitude so much easier than it did before! :)
Angela;)
Re: Kittygirl
on Thursday, September 16, 2010 at 11:39 pm
---
First off, Erin, great post! Secondly, way to go Kittygirl! I'm 19 and I've never had a bf. I just wanted to say I liked your comments about our own selfishness in a relationship with a guy. I'm just like you. Whenever I think about gus that I'm friends with, I think about how they make ME feel, how they talk to ME, how they encourage ME, etc. It's all about ME. I've never really thought about how I should be serving the guys instead of just getting a bunch of self gratification. Thanks for bringing that up, sadly, I had never thought it before. I need to work on thinking about ither people, serving them, and putting their needs before my own. Thanks for sharing!
Regina
thank you!
on Friday, September 17, 2010 at 12:16 am
---
I have again seen this passage in a new different light! I will meditate on this! Thank you so much! =)
Heather
Re:
on Friday, September 17, 2010 at 9:10 am
---
I think that Psalm 31:12 could be read as a standard for love, in general. When you truly love someone you only want wonderful things for them, and you would never hurt them, no matter what that means. I think that's sweet<3
CourtneyM
Thanks
on Friday, September 17, 2010 at 9:35 am
---
Thank You. This was encouraging and eye opening! God bless you all!!!!
marissa
re
on Friday, September 17, 2010 at 11:39 am
---
purity
Gods Jewel
Great Blog
on Friday, September 17, 2010 at 5:19 pm
---
I wear a purity ring to remind me about staying pure, but i never thought about how to start being a good wife right now!!!
thanks for the great message =)
bryonna
kittygirl
on Friday, September 17, 2010 at 5:21 pm
---
im lik the same way its all for ME! so yeah thanks for hte comment! it helped! and thanks erin for the post so so so much!
Janine
Re...
on Friday, September 17, 2010 at 5:49 pm
---
You HAVE to be SEXUALLY PURE not just for your man, but also for God! We should also make sure that we are not bossy so that we won't boss our man around.
Marissa
WOW
on Sunday, September 19, 2010 at 3:57 pm
---
You should stay pure untill marriage even if you really want to get serious with a guy. Even if you really think you Love someone that you may think is right for you. But God may not wnt you to be with that man so stay PURE.Untill you find the right guy for you that God wants you to have.
Charmaine
AWESOME REALIZATION!
on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 5:51 am
---
I guess we, young women, should start to be blessing to ourselves by submitting to God so that we could be a blessing not only to your man and others but most importantly to God in all days of our lives.
Belverly Jameson
what books are good for men
on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 9:43 am
---
do you have any good christian books that are good for men to read on how to become a good husband or to be submission to their wifes as well, or to advise them on what they are doing wrong?
Shannon D
Re:
on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 10:25 am
---
I like to write letters and songs to my husband (: I have this really romantic, mushy idea in my head of how I'll give them to him on our wedding day and he'll cherish them forever all that. I often wonder if my husband thinks of me and prays for me the way I do for him. Anyway, thanks for posting this (:
Kara16
RE: kitty girl
on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 1:32 pm
---
I too am 16 and never had a bf. I am exactly the same way. I never think about how I might be a blessing to my future husband. I am currently in a situation with a guy that I might end up dating very shortly. But I was thinking this morning about all the things I have been saying about him(how wonderful he is, how thoughtful and sensitive) and realized that I should be saying the same about God. Even more so than with this guy. God shows his love to us in SOOOO many ways and we never really stop to notice. We could be a blessing to God as well. Just a thought.
Lydia
question?
on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 2:55 pm
---
im confused about what you said about planning your career. like do you mean what ur gonna do so that you can saty home or what? cuz im planning on having a carreer. a good one too. so if you could clarify that would be really helpful!
Erin Davis
Belverly Jameson
on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 3:52 pm
---
Hi there.

I may be totally misunderstanding you, but your comment sent up a red flag for me. I wouldn't recommend any book that tells guys "what they are doing wrong." I just want to really warn you not to be on the lookout for any resources that are negative about men or shape them into the kind of man you want them to be instead of the kind of man God calls them to be. Does that make sense?

I wish I did have some ideas on great books for teaching young men how to be godly husbands, unfortunately I don't. You might start by looking at resources by John Piper. He has a lot of great stuff to say on marriage.

Erin
Sasha
Thank You!
on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 10:34 pm
---
Once again, thank you, Erin...another wonderful thing to think about!!
Lydia
Traci
on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 11:07 pm
---
Just keep in mind, it's not bad to flirt!! It depends on the KIND of flirting... I think God actually wants us to spend time around and relate to guys, laugh and talk with them, etc... The seductive kind of flirting, where you manipulate in order to gain control over guys, THAT'S sinful, but harmless fun is okay! :)
anonymous
Staying pure till marriage.
on Thursday, September 23, 2010 at 4:50 pm
---
I am 17. I am also a Christian, but I am afraid I have not stayed pure for my future husband and for God. I'm extremely disappointed in myself that I could not push away temptation and I just had to "taste the fruit". I have grown up going to a Christian school and yet I am terrified to confide in anyone about this horrible situation. I'm disgusted with myself in that I can't mention a word to anyone, and completely ashamed to know that God saw every bit of my sin unfold (even before I did). I came to this website hoping to find someone to help me and lead me to the right path and possibly help me pass my struggle with this repulsing sin. I have prayed to God and asked for His forgiveness, but I can't help but wonder if that is enough. I know God hasn't turned away from me and I know this sin doesn't make Him love me any different but I feel as if I am different in His eyes and need scripture to help me to not stray from His Words any longer. Any suggestions?
-Sincerly, Me.
friend
To anonymous
on Saturday, September 25, 2010 at 12:25 am
---
Hi Me,
interestingly, i had a conversation with a friend of mine the other day about purity. I'm 20, in college, and have never had a bf. my friend was giving me advice about relationships. though we are the same age, she has more experience than i have only because her story is somewhat like yours. she let me know that she did feel guilty and ashamed about what she allowed herself to get into. she also said that once we are convicted of our sin, and ask for forgiveness, we have no need to be ashamed and dejected anymore, because those are thoughts from the devil. he only wants to make you feel like God doesn't really love you. God has forgiven you already, that's one thing you must realize. and yes your past can't be erased, but however painful it is, God definitely taught you something through that. as for my friend, she has not allowed the devil to feed her lies. now she is like my mentor, because through her past experiences God, is teaching me things i would have never known; through her. i know it may seem unrealistic at the moment, but just think, someday, God will use you to lead a younger girl down the right path; the path of purity, and you will rejoice in that, believe me. it's also a good thing that your heart is sensitive enough to realize that you sinned against God. for when we are broken over our sin, we are in a good place, because that's when God can really speak to us and help us get back on our feet. and you need to allow Him to lead you. for now, i continue to pray for you. pray also that you will accept God's leading in your life. He loves so much and has great plans for you my friend. for now, i think you should repair your relationship with God; seek Him first and all other things shall be added unto you.
with love,

your sister in Christ.
kittygirl
for anonymous
on Saturday, September 25, 2010 at 1:08 am
---
here are some good ones


Isaiah 1:18
18 "Come now, let us reason together,"
says the LORD.
"Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.


Psalm 103:12
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Romans 5:1
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ

2 timothy 2:21
21Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from these things *(sin)*, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work.

Jesus understands our weaknesses! He was once a man too, like it says in Hebrews and he knows what it was like to be tempted

Hebrews 4:14-15
For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet )without sin.
Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.


God Bless!
Erin Davis
Lydia
on Monday, September 27, 2010 at 5:54 pm
---
I have to disagree with you. The Bible tells us not to have even an hint of sexual immorality in our lives (Ephesians 5:3). How can you act like you are interested romantically in a guy (i.e. flirt) without hinting? Something to think about.

We actually have a post on this topic in our archives. Here is the link.

http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=525

Erin
Erin Davis
Anonymous
on Wednesday, September 29, 2010 at 7:56 am
---
I am truly sorry you are struggling. I wish you had waited and didn't have to face the pain of this sin. But, that since you can't go back, we have to figure out a way for you to move on from here.

First of all. let me affirm that God's love for you has not wavered. Over and over in His Word He promises to forgive our sins when we take them to Him. Don't let the Enemy lie to you that God's love for you has been severed or that you are disqualified from serving Him forever. That simply isn't true.

But you can't just stay where you are. You need to confess your sin, repent and let God do a healing work in you.

I know it is really scary, but you probably need to tell someone about your sin so that they can hold you accountable and point you toward God's Truth.

James 5:16 says, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

I would also highly recommend two books 1) Lies Young Women Believe. It has a lot of great information on forgiveness of sin 2) And the Bride Wore White. It can help you understand God's plan for purity so that you can move forward seeking His will in this area of your life.

Erin
Kirsten
Love It
on Wednesday, September 29, 2010 at 11:00 pm
---
I Love the way you put that you see I have this friend and she has just GOT TO HAVE A GUY all the time and I tried to tell that she dose not need a guy but she just won't work with me I have not been able to find the right words ... Maybe if I show this to her she will get it :)
anonymous
to all that have replied--
on Tuesday, October 5, 2010 at 8:04 pm
---
Thank you for your comments and help. I understand God has not lost His love for me but I can't help to struggle with this problem. I know God will be the only one to help me fully get through this and just have to lay all of my trust in Him.


To Friend-Thanks for your story, it has helped me see that I will move passed this struggle with God along my side.


To Kittygirl-Thank you for the verses. They really struck a cord in my heart when I read them and I will be going back to them when I doubt.


To Erin- I am actually already reading the book Lies Young Women Believe, that is how I found this sight. It is a really good help to me and I love this study I am having with this book. I may just have to pick up the second one also.


Sorry I took so long to reply bac and I hope you all get this.
Sincerly, me.
Emelie
Re: ALL
on Saturday, October 16, 2010 at 6:08 pm
---
I'm not one against having a 'boyfriend' because it's just a 'label' (which I'm not particularly fond of.) for that special guy in your life. I myself have a boyfriend and we've made promises to eachother, God, ourselves, and our families and friends to remain pure until marriage. I'm rather proud to say that I'm remaining pure for my future husband and it just makes me look forward to that time more than I would have ever been if I didn't make those promises. It fills me with joy to read all these comments about purity! I love y'all, guys!
Anna
No subject
on Monday, October 18, 2010 at 6:58 pm
---
Erin your post are so amazing! And NO I'm NOT flattering you, all the things are true. :) Thanks for posting all the encouraging blogs you post!

Anna <3
Natalieh
Great point!
on Thursday, November 4, 2010 at 6:13 pm
---
That part of the verse never struck me until now. Thank you. :) I have felt led in the last few years to prepare myself for my husband as I prepare myself for my Messiah; however, I've not been as serious about it as I probably should. I've changed a lot in the last couple of months. I hope to remember to pray for my husband more. That he may be blessed on this journey of life and that when we meet that both he and I will be ready for each other. Praise God. :)

Thanks for this awesome blog. A friend of mine just linked me and I'm liking it a lot.

Blessings,
Natalieh www.youreimportant.blogspot.com
Britt
thanks!
on Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 4:30 pm
---
I'd never thought of that verse in this way! I'm almost 20 years old and I've never had a boyfriend. I've lived my life knowing that I want to save every part of me for the man God has planned for me. Lately it has become difficult, though. Most of my friends have had boyfriends, and it's hard to tell them that I've never had a boyfriend because I'm afraid they won't understand or they'll think I'm strange. It's very encouraging to think that the choices that I'm making now will be a blessing to my husband in the future!

Thank you for sharing this! <3
Bekah
Crying...
on Saturday, September 10, 2011 at 12:23 am
---
Wow!!! i have never thought of this passage in this way before! I am 16 and have no boyfriend. I have made a vow of purity and have committed to saving myself for my future husband.Every night i pray for the man I will one day marry. I pray that He is saving himself for me and has committed himself to the Lord!! My prayer is that even now He is praying for His future wife, me! Do I ever wish I have a boyfreind? Yes! Of course! But for now I am resting in Gods perfect will for my life, even my fututre marriage! I have always realized the seriousness of marriage and divorce, so it is encouraging to know that the choices I am making now will one day affect my marriage!

Thank you SO,SO much, Erin for all of your articles!!! I have received very good advice from the girls here on LYWB blog! I also enjoy hearing from you! Thank you!

~Bekah
Proverbs 30:31
Sarah, with the LYWB team
Bekah,,,
on Thursday, December 15, 2011 at 10:40 pm
---
Wow! Bekah! You are doing just what the post encouraged you to do…making choices that “do your future man some good” all the days of your life! How honorable that you have made that commitment to purity and are praying daily for your future husband! You will realize the fruit of a young woman who trusts her God to lead her and direct her life…Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His presence continually. (Ps. 105:4) So proud of you!
Bekah
Thanks...
on Friday, December 16, 2011 at 10:31 pm
---
Sarah, thanks for this encouragement! To God be the glory! i love hearing from you guys because you really are an example for soooo many girls! Keep it up!
Sarah, with the LYWB team
Bekah...
on Sunday, December 18, 2011 at 11:04 pm
---
And you are a blessing to us! Your heart for the Lord and the things of the Lord encourages us, too! You are precious Bekah!

Love and blessings to you and MERRY CHRISTMAS
God's girl
so cool!
on Thursday, January 5, 2012 at 11:19 pm
---
I've never thought of that verse in that way...I'm glad you pointed that out!!! How cool! I'm gonna try really hard to live out that verse! By the power of Christ in me...I'll prevail!:D God bless the bloggers on this site!
calibaby707
Question
on Thursday, February 16, 2012 at 4:09 pm
---
What are some good, affirming, practical ways I can bless my best friend who is a guy? He's not intersted in me romantically.