Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

Caity
...
on Tuesday, November 16, 2010 at 6:48 am
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it really does help... i was suicidal for a while and it helped so much when i finally told people.... it's the only reason i'm still alive, because of my friends who cared once i told them... anything that you're hiding needs to come out sometime or another.... but sooner is better than later because later might be too late...
Brittany Lee
Re:
on Tuesday, November 16, 2010 at 9:39 am
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Wow. This has been something that I've been thinking a lot about lately. The timing on this is so God! I'm a very secretive person. I tell everything to very few. But in the end, God is the only one who knows it all. For years I kept myself hidden in the shadows. I put on a face, lived my life and no one ever knew, and I thought that no one ever would.

But as I got older and as I came closer to God, these things in my past came all the more apparent. As the truth started to fill me, what I had left in the shadows for so many years began to show. A few women at church came to me and told me they could see something in me that wasn't right and the story came out...which sadly took a year for that to come around that far...but I learned there that:

If you keep things in the shadows, then how can it be tested by the light of truth?

There was such a release to let that go. And a journey still after that. For years I struggled with the fear of exposure - of people knowing this. But hard as it was, God is so gentle when you let Him bring His light in. And when the shadows are gone - so is the fear and the hiding, and all the other things that go with it.

Sometimes it is a scary thing to tell. It is a scary thing to confess. But the freedom and the release that comes with it is more than worth it! God wishes that you would be FREE.

I can testify to what Dannah is saying. It is absolutely true! You can't fight and win in the shadows, but the light - the truth - will cast away the shadows, and the light brings such a healing and freedom!

Thank you, Dannah for this reminder! :)

Love and prayers to all!
Becky
Re:
on Tuesday, November 16, 2010 at 10:57 am
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I strapped the label to myself when I was 13 (it's been almost 7 years). I started going to church a couple years ago, but never felt that it was wrong until this summer.
There's a girl at my church who's a few years older than me who I really look up to. I go to her for everything spiritual, and I decided to go to her with this too. I was surprised as to how non-judgemental she was about it. We haven't really been able to get together because we're both busy with university and life, but she always lets me know that she's thinking and praying for me, and that she loves me.
Next time we get together we're going to start reading a book on homosexuality that has steps in it that I can use to beat this (and trust me, I'm still far from it). She also encouraged me to tell one of my best friends who goes to our church, and now I have a small support system.
It feels really good to not be at square one anymore with me having to struggle with this by myself. A year ago, I wouldn't of wanted any help at all, and I wouldn't have ever gone to anyone in a million years (or so I thought). I finally completely handed this situation over to God a few weeks ago and I've been feeling free ever since. That's not to say that I haven't come across opposition. It seems like every victory I hit, Satan tries to tear me down again. But that's how I know that I'm taking baby steps in the right direction. I'm winning, and it's so worth it at the end of the day.
Annamarie
Re:
on Tuesday, November 16, 2010 at 12:26 pm
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Wow, nice post Dannah!
I've been trying to bring my stuggles to God (into the light) but I just never do. But I'm going to pray to God, right now, and bring my stuggles into His light and ask Him to help me.
Thank you so much Dannah.
Katie Sarah
Thank you!
on Tuesday, November 16, 2010 at 4:54 pm
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Thanks! I know this is really encouraging to some girls, as strage a subject it may be. This needs to be discussed. Thank you so much!
Chloe
I told my friend
on Tuesday, November 16, 2010 at 7:38 pm
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When I was struggling trying to figure out whether or not I'm bi I told my friend who is bi herself because I figured that she would understand better then someone who isn't bi would and that she might be able to help me figure out whether or not I actually am. She told me that I should tell my friend that I like how I feel about her and so I did. She said that although she doesn't have the same feelings for me she's glad that I told her how I felt. It felt so good to know that my friend wasn't creeped out by my feelings that I had for her and that my other friend who I told first didn't judge me. Although I knew that she wouldn't because then she would be a hyprocrite. For all of you girls out there who are bi or lesbians and feel awkward about your sexuality let me tell you that you will feel a whole lot less awkward if you tell somebody that you know you can trust and who won't judge you. Or at least that's how I felt after I told my friend, and don't worry, I'm not recommending that you tell your friend or whoever it is that you like your feelings that you have for them but it will help if you tell someone.
Rae L.
I already did
on Tuesday, November 16, 2010 at 11:09 pm
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Just 2 days ago, I told my mom about my doubts about my faith. I am a person who liked to keep everything to myself, and I have a hard time talking about serious things and what I believe. But I had cried So hard the night before, I knew I had to tell. I can't even express how thankful I am for my parents. My dad is recovering from a car crash, and I don't know what I would do if he wasn't here today. I need him and mom so much, and I am SO thankful to God for them. So thanks for this post, I feel encouraged that i did the right thing.
Could someone please pray for me, as I feel I might be ready to be baptized, but I want to be doing in right timing. I am 17, and would like to do this. Please pray for that and that my faith would be increased and that my joy would be overflowing. Thanks!
Libs
here's the thing...
on Wednesday, November 17, 2010 at 10:27 am
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I have experienced this first-hand. Sometimes we need to 'keep bringing' things to the light - but as we do that light of Jesus WILL shine on us and we will see with a clearer perspective just how evil our sin is and just how great a grace our God can give - not only in forgiveness(redemption), but in freedom(restoration), and fruitfulness(refinement)! I am reminded of the verse 1 Jn. 1:9 - WHAT A NECESSARY VERSE for all of us! - It says, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." - But do you think He leaves us sitting in the pit after He's washed us up?? NO! He wants us to repent (that means: change our way/direction) in humility ... And when we do so - He lifts us up - James 4 - check it out!
Brittany Lee
Re: Rae L
on Thursday, November 18, 2010 at 12:26 am
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Praying for you, girl!! :)

You're rockin! <3
Whitney
TRyIng
on Friday, November 19, 2010 at 12:25 am
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Okay so I have exposed my situation I am a recovery sex addict and I still fall when I know its wrong what do i need to do!!!!
Christen
Re: Whitney
on Sunday, November 21, 2010 at 12:49 am
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I know how it feels to tell somebody all the secret sins that you're struggling with, to think you're conquering the temptations, and then to fall again. It's only recently that I've exposed my whole situation to anyone, so I'm really far from having this all figured out. I guess some things that help me are:
1) asking God to take back the ground I surrendered when I yielded to the temptation
2) confessing my failure to somebody else that is in a position of spiritual leadership (by the way, don't wait to do this. as soon as you fail, go tell someone!)
3) having somebody you trust and who is spiritually mature to hold you accountable - give that person a list of the things you struggle with, then have her sit down with you maybe once a week and ask you how you are doing in each of those areas.
Anyways those things have all helped me. I'm praying for you in the struggle!
Rae L.
thanks Brittany Lee!
on Sunday, November 21, 2010 at 6:40 pm
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Thanks for praying! It feels So nice to know that someone is praying for me. I think the #1 thing I have to focus on for a while is to keep up with having a daily bible time. I always fall short on that, sometimes I do it, sometimes I don't. I think that's a big reason why I doubt. Thanks again!
Brittany Lee
Re:Whitney
on Sunday, November 21, 2010 at 7:06 pm
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Find someone to keep yourself accountable to. And really dig into God. Keep praying and stay strong! :)

Prayers to you! <3
Brittany Lee
Re: Rae L
on Monday, November 22, 2010 at 8:03 am
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You're most welcome m'dearest! :)

Filling yourself with the Word does amazing things for you! It is so uplifting too! Doubt is the opposite of faith - so you are very right. Fill yourself with the truth so that you will know it.

What helped me when I went through that time was to write down what I was doubting and then I would find scriptures that would show just how wrong I was to doubt. It was helpful. :)

Praying for you as you continue your journey in God and that His Word will be so powerful and alive to you and that your heart will be open to receive all that he wants to show you! <3
Amanda
I'll try
on Thursday, November 25, 2010 at 5:37 pm
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This is exactly how I'm feeling. I feel SO alone. I'm not involved in any sort of sexual sin, but I am doing things behind my parents' backs. There dumb things that my parents want me to do or not do. I'm really struggling with obeying them. I just feel so alone and friendless. I'm going to try talking to someone about it.

Thanks for the post.
Erin Davis
Whitney
on Tuesday, November 30, 2010 at 11:25 am
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You need to have an accountability partner and strong Christian mentor. Sometimes we need help along the way as we make the choice to obey God and turn away from our sin. Do you have someone you can talk to?

Erin
Candace
Re:
on Thursday, December 2, 2010 at 1:55 pm
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James 5:16 says, "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." Sometimes we may feel like were all alone and no one else is going through what we might be struggling with but their are others out there who can relate and even if they cant relate they're people willing to listen, encourage, pray for you, and help you to see Gods truth so you can be healed.
Hope
Re:
on Saturday, December 4, 2010 at 1:16 am
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I really want someone to talk about my struggles and about God, but I don't know who to tell.
candace
Re:
on Monday, December 13, 2010 at 2:40 pm
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Hope ill listen.
Hope
Re:
on Friday, December 17, 2010 at 3:31 am
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Sorry!!
Was that for me????
(sorry!!)
Ashlee Walter
Re:
on Sunday, December 19, 2010 at 6:41 pm
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I'm in the same boat as Hope is...I have a lot of regrets and things I shouldn't have done in my past. I'm a pastor's daughter and my family used to be in missions. I never though I'd be in this position...I need to tell someone and I need help but I don't know where to go.
ChristianDaughter
My silent struggle
on Wednesday, January 5, 2011 at 5:34 pm
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I know this post is from a while ago but I need help.
I really struggle with my appearence. I've cried myself to sleep on numerous nights because of comments I've heard people say. I have only told one person: my bestest friend in the world that I've known for 8 years. I've made her swear to not tell anyone else.
I am not exactly a girly-girl...at all. I am usually found in Converse, jeans, hair in a ponytail, and a baggy t-shirt (most likely a baseball shirt at that). I like being a tomboy, but sometimes it hurts. My mom wanted a girly-girl daughter, and when she asks me if I could wear something nicer, it hurts. I usually just shove the retaliation down and go put on something else.
In my drama class the girls had to go to one side and the boys to the other and I heard one of the girls I know say "are all the girls over here? Well I'm not sure about (my name)..." I laughed along but I felt terrible. I still feel terrible. I've had plenty of other people say things like that, too.
I try to ignore it all and focus on the fact that God loves me and that it's the inner beauty that counts... but no matter how hard I've tried, it hasn't worked.

Does anyone have any advice for me?
Erin Davis
Christian Daughter
on Thursday, January 13, 2011 at 8:44 am
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I have been where you are. Insecurities about appearance can really fester into serious pain in our hearts.

I suggest you do some serious digging into God's Word to find out what He has to say about your appearance and worth. A simple answer like, "God loves you the way you are" won't work when your pain is this deep. But God has SOOO much to say about you and why He created you the way that He did. But you have to 1)seek out HIs Truth 2) choose to believe it.

I'd suggest a couple of resources to help you get started.
1. "Lies Young Women Believe" This book specifically addresses beauty lies and teaches you how to choose God's Truth.
2. I have a book titled "Graffiti: Learning to See the Art in Ourselves." It's all about God's view of beauty. I also share my journey from insecurity to freedom. You can find it at www.graffitiministries.com.

Hope this helps!

Erin
Emily
Re:
on Monday, May 23, 2011 at 5:19 pm
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i lost my two best friends because i'm apparently annoying, one said it to my face and other showed it... i felt worthless, the only two people i coud talk to, and tell everything to think im annoying. i started sobbing because there was a time where i didn't have any friends, because everyone liked my twin sister, olivia, more. they always ditched me and never stuck by myside and never siad anything to me, and always looked at me like im stupid everytime i said something, and i felt worthless all the time, and i suffered from a little bit of depression, i had suicidal thoughts and attempts, i also had to go to therapy!!
During that time i never had anyone to talk to or look up to or talk to them about my problems, or have them stick by my side through everything, i have never experienced that, not even by my mom or by my sister, because i never liked being with my sister because she never really wanted to hang out with me, and i never told mom about anything because she never understood. So i stay in my room by myself and just think, and talk to myself and practically create my own little world, it never occurred to me that it would make me forget about real life, and i ended up living my fantasy life, but i kept on doing it, until mom finally took me to therapy, i got everything straightened out and as soon as olivia left her friends for the most popular people in the school, everyone that loved olivia came crawling to me, and used me to get to her, and finally two of them didnt, and they became by best friends until i got "annoying". i feel they never really cared about me but only liv... and now im coming back to that, im getting depressed agian, and thinking suicidal thoughts, and hibernating in my room again talking to myself... and now all i really think is: wow why did God even put me here, im just some worthless piece of crap that is annoying and stabbed in the back, used, and worthless, i just need help.
Sarah, with the LYWB Team
Friends
on Friday, June 3, 2011 at 12:40 pm
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Emily…

I am sorry for what you are going through. You are wise to recognize some of the symptoms you experienced before. Because you have been through it once, you are better prepared to handle it this time. Ask the Lord to give you wisdom in handling it and grace to sustain you.

Your first step is to talk with your parents, let them know what is going on, and ask them if they think you need to go back to therapy. If they are unsure, tell them you would like to try getting help in this way again. Most girls struggle with self identity and comparing themselves with others. As a twin that can be even more difficult in your case.

Recognize that to the Lord you are one of a kind with a unique personality and He has a particular plan for your life (See Ps. 139). The Bible does provide a truth for you at this point in your life: To be a friend you must show yourself a friend. Simply put…don’t focus on having friends, but on being a friend. The kind of friend you would like to have is the kind of friend you want to be. Jesus is a True Friend, and He can help you become one too.

I know the Lord will help you get through this, Emily. Praying for you!