I Need a Boyfriend

posted by Erin Davis on 02/15/11 | Twitter: @ErinGraffiti
Category: Guys; ; 88 comments

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Hey, girls! We've been talking about guys and romance for years here on the blog. In fact, we are revisiting some of our most read posts this month as part of our attempt to give you some great advice on the subject of romance. Even if you've read these posts before, we encourage you to check them out again as a refresher on God's plan for your love life.

Almost 70 percent of the girls we interviewed for Lies Young Women Believe told us that they feel better about themselves when they have a boyfriend/attention from a boy. They were honest about the fact that even if they'd made a commitment not to date or had never had a boyfriend, the drive for male attention was a huge issue in their lives.

Can you relate?

This certainly is a commonly believed lie among the young women I know. And it is dangerous indeed. And as Nancy and Dannah point out in Lies Young Women Believe, it is a lie that has the potential to grow into something even bigger.

"Anytime we look for fulfillment or happiness in anyone or anything other than God, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. And this one grows into something bigger if you don't destroy it: ‘I have to have a husband to make me happy.' We've got to face this head-on, before it becomes something even more dangerous" (Lies Young Women Believe, 86).

Lets do just that. Let's hit this lie head-on with a serious dose of truth.

Truth #1—God did not design marriage to make you happy but to glorify Himself.

Ephesians 5:31–32 says, "‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church."

When you look to a relationship with a guy to make you happy, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. If you are using dating (and marriage in the future) as a means to validate your worth, the consequences will be even more severe.

Truth #2—God does not want you to "awaken love" until the time is right.

The Song of Solomon repeats the same warning three times. In verses 2:7, 3:5, and 8:4 we are warned not to awaken love before it's time. I think the fact that this warning is repeated over and over should cause our spirits to perk up and take notice. This is a serious warning, and failure to adhere to it has disastrous consequences.

Nancy and Dannah help us understand why the stakes are so high:

"God has good reasons for instructing us not to awaken love prematurely. Being in relationships with guys early often leads to sexual sin. Research tells us that girls who have boyfriends by seventh grade are among those most likely to be sexually active in their high school years. Further, being in a relationship with a guy six months or longer is one of the top five factors that leads to early sexual activity in teenagers. As your heart becomes entwined in a relationship, you'll have a hard time sticking to your standards of purity" (Lies Young Women Believe, 88).

Truth #3—You have great value, whether or not the guys around you recognize it.

Jeremiah 31:3 tells us, "The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.'"

No fella can ever offer you a promise so romantic! God has loved you with an everlasting love. He proves that love by seeking to draw you near to Him with loving kindness.

Whether or not the guys around you see your value or confirm your worth or beauty, God does. Building your sense of worth on attention from guys is like building your house on a sandy foundation. Instead, why not build it on the rock of God's everlasting love for you?

Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

Meg

I agree
on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 8:12 am

In the blog it said that it makes girls feel better when a guy is paying attention to them. Well in my case it doesn't this guy at my church likes me and does all sorts of nice things for me. The only thing is i don't like him in that way. So it really doesn't make me feel good.

Kristie

What I got from this
on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 10:00 am

I'm going to gone on head and say it at first when I saw this email in my inbox it said NEED BOYFRIEND and I just didn't want to click it I' not going to lie I looked at it then thought and click right off BUT i realized that was the devil trying to keep me from looking at that! and after while I said you know what I'm going to click this and open it God had this in my inbox for a reason. :)! I'm sooooooooo happpyyyy that I got this email at the RIGHT! time God is so good!!.. I have been struggling always saying I need a boyfriend! why cant i have one! Just saying I feel so lonely! Always thinking wrong things or talking lustfully with a guy(Not anymore because i realized how much of sin i was in).. And those aren't the right things i should be thinking about!.Thank you for your encouraging words. Now After i was done reading this i JUST PRAYED and just said God I'm sorry for thinking of the wrong things thinking about boys when I should be thinking more about you and focusing more on you and leave that alone until the right time. I'm so happy! I'm going to always remember this verse Jeremiah 31:3 tells us, "The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.'" also all the others but I really liked this one.

Courtney

Re:
on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 10:21 am

This is a great post, but honestly I'm a little tired of this "love series". I know some girls really need it, but it seems repetitive. I already know everything that you said. It's the same message in the actual book LYWB and in every other Christian book for girls. That doesn't make it any less true, but I end up skipping it because I'm tried of the reading the same thing.

I know I don't need a boyfriend to make me feel better. I'm content with being single and I'm able to realize that I'm not mature enough to be in a relationship yet. I wish there were less posts that fit the stereotypical Christian teenage girl about romance. Not that they're not good, but it gets a little old...

Chloe

Thanks :)
on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Thanks for posting this, I really needed to be reminded that we don't need to have a boyfriend to have worth. There are plenty of days when I feel like I have to have a boyfriend, and if I don't then I must not be pretty enough. I'm serious, I have to have a boyfriend to really feel like I have some sort of worth. And in order to at least feel pretty I have to take my glasses off and do my make-up, which most of the time I don't wear make-up.

abbey

re
on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 1:40 pm

I actually feel better when a guy like me even if i dont like him back. I guess i need to relie on him more{ sorry bout my spelling}

lily

I think i might need to change?!
on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 1:49 pm

Ya, i do have to agree with what you said.
Whenever a boy shows me any kind of 'he might like me signs' i feel so good. Almost like i'm on a 'high'. i just don't know? I really dont have it happen alot. But its so hard to feel like i'm worth anything when you feel ugly.

beautifulwonder

guys
on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 3:18 pm

When it comes to guys and needing a boyfriend. I agree that girls love it when guys pay attention to them because it makes them feel better about themselves. I for one know how it feels to want a boyfriend to early in my life. Ive done a lot of things in my past that i wasnt to proud of because of me believing the lie that i need a boyfriend. but like the bible said you shouldnt awaken love before your time. and if you do just know that its going to hurt you more than it will help.
An the only reason i believe that lie is because most of my friends have boyfriends so I tend to want one too.
Question: How do you know when the time is right for you to have a boyfriend.
Thanks
Erin for this great post!

deborah

wow
on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 3:36 pm

I so struggle with how guys think of me. I have gotten way better than what I used to be, but it still bugs my senses.

I don't care what people think about me, it's my personality. But, when it comes to guys my own age, it really gets to me sometimes about what they think of me. I try to ignore it usually, then it temporarily goes away only to come back with a bigger fight. I hate to admit it, but I am kind of boy crazy if I don't keep my handle on it. seriously.

I really needed the reminder, especially since I like a guy right now... and he likes me back... which only makes it more tough. Thanks, Erin! :)

Kylie

Re:
on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Sometimes I catch myself looking for attention from guys, just to prove in my mind that I have more worth. Even though I know that this is wrong, I still do it.
Thank you so much for bringing up this subject again. It's a great reminder that it doesn't matter what others think about me, but what God thinks about me.

Jeannie

I agree, but...
on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 4:21 pm

I definetly can relate to the statistics. But I don't think it's just the 'need' for a boyfriend... I know I have all I need, because God gives me all I need.

I don't feel I need a boyfriend, or feel pressured to have one... Infact, I hate the word 'boyfriend' because it implies posessiveness. But I want someone to love, who loves me back. I know we can find that in God, and I know I should be able to, but it's difficult. I'm having a hard time finding the kind of love I want in God, and I hate myself for saying that because he loves me more than anyone else ever could. But I still feel the desire for someone.

I've never had a boyfriend, and I've never really been interested in someone. I've been waiting and I'll keep waiting for the right time, but I still have these feelings of malcontent that make waiting hurt all the more.

I don't think it's just the 'need' for a boyfriend, I think there's a 'want' too.

maya

so true!
on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 6:03 pm

I'm sending this to my good girlfriend so she can finally understand what I'm always trying to tell her! Thanks! :)

Mikayla

thanks
on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 6:07 pm

this is really great post! i really like jeremiah 31:3. thanks again!

Veronica

So True
on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 7:44 pm

All of this is so true. Even though it can be hard sometimes, we must realize that God is the only one that can fulfill our need for love. When you mentioned Truth #2 and stated that God says there will be serious consequences for awakening love before it's time was really a wake up call for me and really stuck with me. Thanks for this message! :)

bre

I agree
on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 8:27 pm

Ya Meg's right, I think some boys are cute but I wouldnt wanna go out with them. Boys just dont need to be part of my life. I am gonna wait until I am older.

Anita

Hooray for this blog!
on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 9:09 pm

Good post. I'll try my best and follow through. Its easier said than done though

AbbyS

Re: Courtney
on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 11:03 pm

I feel you. Sometimes it is a little repetitive. But keep in mind not every girl has been blessed with hearing this msg and other like it as many times (if not at all) like you:)

I'm 19 and I don't mind being reminded of where my fufillment should be! :)

I think the reason why there are so many posts on this blog about guys and boyfriends etc is bc it's one of the main issues Christian girls struggle with.
And because there are so many (what is considered by some) "gray" areas when it comes to relationships that would otherwise be pure black & white for things like drugs and alcohol, it makes it a topic that needs to constantly be addressed.

Ayana

Meg...
on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 11:28 pm

I've been there Meg. You need to confront him LOVINGLY and ask him to please stop. If he doesn’t, it’s time to get parents involved. This might not be easy but it is the best way as long as you confront him first.
-Ayana

Gracefalls

Yeah
on Wednesday, February 16, 2011 at 7:13 am

Since I have gotten into a relationship this year I have felt more loved thana I had before. But I want more...

Annamarie

Re: Abbey
on Wednesday, February 16, 2011 at 12:22 pm

I agree with you Abbey.

Heather (Svan)

Re:
on Wednesday, February 16, 2011 at 3:16 pm

I can't say I relate to any of this. I've never had a crush on anyone before (I don't count the time I seriously lusted after this one person. That was just lust). I always felt like I was weird b/c I'm sort of the opposite of boy crazy. I definitely want to get married one day, I just have never really liked any guy I've ever met. Not enough to want to be their girlfriend, anyway.

aicetel

AMEN!!!!
on Wednesday, February 16, 2011 at 9:43 pm

i believe that many of the young women today are involved in premature relationships and that is really a sad truth as i was one of those who has been a victim of the lie that i need a boyfriend. pls pray for me for tonight as i will be sharing this truth to some ladies in our exclusive ladies fellowship. thank u.. :)

Kami

Courtney and Abby
on Wednesday, February 16, 2011 at 10:38 pm

cant help but agree i greatly appreciate the reminders of where my heart should be and i understand that not everyone knows about being content and patient
However for those of us that have come to that realization it can get old. Wouldn't mind a post under Faith or God or Sin in between some of the love series or better yet discuss the one guy who loves you more than anyone ever can has or will. JESUS all of us arent ragingly obsessed with having a boyfriend

but still thank you for this post if it helps only one person then praise the Lord

Erin Davis

Kami, Courtney, and Abby
on Wednesday, February 16, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Hey, girls. I appreciate your input. We dedicated this month's content to love and romance because it's February and because that is the topic we get asked to write about most often. Sorry if it feels like overkill to you.

Rest assured that we will be moving on to a new topic in March. In the meantime, feel free to check out our archives. There are posts on tons of different topics in there.

Erin

Anonymous

Erin
on Wednesday, February 16, 2011 at 11:12 pm

Hey Erin, just wanted to say these blogs on love you have been doing are wonderful!!!! Much needed during this time of year. :) I really needed to hear everything you posted, God bless!!!! The Lord has been working on my heart through this all.

Courtney

RE: Erin
on Thursday, February 17, 2011 at 8:12 am

I don't mind the romance posts at all and I know a lot of girls need that. I just wish the posts you write about romance could be more original, from a different angle.

Hope <3 <3 <3

yeah..but
on Thursday, February 17, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Like I totally agree with waiting for the right guy to come along and everything...but I mean you only get one chance in life...shouldn't you try to make the best out of it? like i dont mean to go around from guy to guy just to be sure that you got your taste of love...im totally in with waiting for the right guy to come along...but if you're mature enough to handle a relationship and the guy is someone that you think that you could marry someday long down the road...shouldn't you take that chance? i mean like guys can be seriously inmature and so can girls...but there's this guy in my life... and he's totally like NOT inmature and all...and he's a freshman i'm in eighth grade...and i know that we wouldnt be able to like go on dates and stuff but isnt it okay to date if he's a possibility??? i dont mean to make my words sound like ive got everything figured out and this is totally right and all im just confused and putting in my opinion...idk <3

Erin Davis

Anonymous
on Thursday, February 17, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Thanks! I am thrilled that the Lord is using this blog to teach you more about Him!

Erin

Erin Davis

Courtney
on Thursday, February 17, 2011 at 3:08 pm

We would be happy to hear your ideas for more original posts.

Erin

Kait

dads
on Thursday, February 17, 2011 at 4:59 pm

I think it's important to have a strong relationship with you dad. This keeps the need from a boyfriend away...at least, it helps. I know not everyone has a strong dad in the house, but really girls, if you don't... go to God. He will fill your heart. Truly. I promise.

Gabriella:)

Very true...but
on Thursday, February 17, 2011 at 11:19 pm

Okay, right now I do have a boyfriend who I feel I'm falling for. Life is busy right now with school, sports, and social life in general, but am I wrong to put my focus more on things of this world ten on God? I really do try to pray every night, but then I might get caught up talking all night with my boyfriend. What girls I think should realize is that if we put that 6 or more hour conversation into God rather then our boyfriend...our lives could change. But why is it so hard to change and put that time into God?

p.s. any advice for me:)

Fuzzy Socks

Re: Kait's comment
on Sunday, February 20, 2011 at 8:04 pm

I never had a strong relationship with my dad (who has emotionally abused me for years...) and that's why I got boyfriends, etc. Well, there's hope because God gives us grace and fills all the gaps we have in our life :) He can and will fill the place of a parent who isn't there and can and will take away the want of having a boyfriend. I promise that. But you have to ask. I know from experience and i'm praying for all you girls on the blog. :)

Love,
Fuzzy

P.S. Kait, you're totally right! Thanks for posting :)

jasmine

thanks
on Monday, February 21, 2011 at 6:18 am

thanks i needed to read that i have been feeling bad because all my friends have boyfriends and its good to know i don't

love,
jasmine

Gabriella

All RE:
on Tuesday, February 22, 2011 at 1:00 am

"Don't be to quick to fall in love unless your sure that you will be caught".Even though we might get hurt along the way we all will find true love someday. God will provide in all our lives great guys for us and the best part is that the guy for you is already picked out by God. All we have to do is cling to God and seek after him...and I assure you will not regret it in the future. LOVE is strong and powerful...if you think about it this world was created and destroyed by of love. We can do our part by loving those around us no matter how hard it might be at times, but the great thing is that we will never stop being loved by God:)

p.s. Love is eternal.....

- Gabriella <3

jessica

please help me
on Thursday, February 24, 2011 at 10:00 pm

i dont know whats wrong with me but guys keep texting me...i dont find interest in them but now this good christian guy just started texting me its like im already in love with him and it sucks i wanna stop but than im thinking how am i supposed to know if he the one meant to be for me how am i supposed to know hes not my future husband and if i stop talking to him i might loose him. i get all these thoughts. and why do my feelings get in the way like i dont know what to do and im stressing so much about guys my life please help me i dont know whats wrong with me.

Last Edit: on Monday, February 28, 2011 at 3:39pm by edavis

Gabriella

RE: Jessica:)
on Saturday, February 26, 2011 at 11:00 am

Don't take it to fast with this guy...I've been their done that and they don't always turn out the way they really are. BUT if you really do like this new guy and you can tell that he is different from the others then don't stop yourself from talking to him, try and get to know more about him.... If you feel in your heart that this guy really could be the one then the last thing you want to do is loose him, but you have to realize God's plan for your. And don't worry there is nothing wrong with you every girl struggles with these problems and trying to find the right guy or waiting for him to find you. My advice is mainly to pray for you and this guy and if you feel that God is leading you down this path then just do your best to become good friends with this guy and to make sure u see the real him and who knows what will happen? (except God) ...don't be to quick to shut this guy out of your life...TRUST yourself, your judgment, and GOD.
p.s. hopefully this helps a little.
- Gabriella:)

Andie

It's tough!
on Sunday, February 27, 2011 at 12:23 am

I struggle so much in this area! As I get older I feel the need to find someone to marry get more intense. Even when I think I "know" everything about being a woman of God and looking to Him for all of my needs, it is still hard to keep my thoughts and attitude in check.

Jessica

it is hard
on Monday, February 28, 2011 at 3:21 pm

i know how you feel because i had many experiences like that. I am learning to wait on God to send the right person and i pray for a sign from him so be patient. It is totally worth it trust me i am wait ever so patiently.

Gabriella

to: Jessica and Andie
on Monday, February 28, 2011 at 8:46 pm

I've been through situations like this and am actually struggling right now....I know how you guys feel...hopefully things will work out for the best for all of us. God will provide.

emile

help
on Tuesday, March 1, 2011 at 8:53 pm

I got a question. Okay, last wensday 2/23/11, i broke up with my 4 month long boy friend. Because he cheated, kissed another girl. And because he is not a full christen, he use to go to chuch than his mom stopped going. But is God mad at me for dating a non-christen? Also im not over the break up or him. Im so depressed and upset still. And so with drawn and cry alot when i think of him. Is there some verse or something I can read to help me get over this??
-Thanks,Emile

Gracefalls

Re: Emile
on Wednesday, March 2, 2011 at 9:13 pm

Hey girlie....God is totally not mad at you for dating a non-christian.... it is like saying God didnt forgive me for disobeying my rents... God forgives you for everything.... I cant think of a verse... but I just read something in the lies young women believes book today that said... God will fill you up more than any friend or bf.... God can comfort you

Gabriella

Re: Gracefalls
on Monday, March 7, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Hey girl, even though the comment above is meant for Emile...but I am struggling with the same problem and I read it. Thanks helps a lot:) and Emile you are in my prayers!

love, Gabriella

Live to Love.

Gracefalls

Re Gabriella
on Tuesday, March 8, 2011 at 9:34 am

Your welcome... that comment was for any struggling girl... even myself

Gabriella

Re: Gracefalls
on Wednesday, March 9, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Yes, and I am keep all the struggling girls in my prayers:)

Gracefalls

Re Gabriella
on Thursday, March 10, 2011 at 9:43 am

That is great... truthfully I say I will pray for some girls but it is hard...

Gabriella

Re: Gracefalls
on Thursday, March 10, 2011 at 10:19 pm

Yeah, i agree with you on that it is hard but i try my best too. Life for me right now is pretty hard to go through...I hope it will get better though. How about you?

Gracefalls

Re Gabriella
on Friday, March 11, 2011 at 10:13 am

My life is the worst it has been in years! augh.... i feel i have a horrible life... same i hope my sorry excuse for a life gets better! I will pray for you,
your sister in Christ,
Gracefalls

Gabriella

Re: Gracefalls
on Saturday, March 12, 2011 at 11:08 am

Yeah, I know how that feels. But it will get better...God never gives us more than we can handle even though it might seem like it at times. Your in my prayers as well!:)

-Gabriella:)

Erin Davis

Emile
on Wednesday, March 23, 2011 at 5:45 pm

Bummer! Break-ups are really hard.

I can't speak for God as to whether or not He is mad at you. But I do know that when we mess up He promises to be quick to forgive. In fact, He tells us that when we ask for forgiveness He is faithful to forgive the sin (1 John 1:9) and He does not remember it again (Isaiah 43:25). So...if He mad at you the best thing you can do is confess your sin to Him, tell Him you are sorry and ask for forgiveness.

I wish there was just a verse I could give you to heal up your broken heart. It just doesn't work that way. You are probably going to have to feel some pain because you stepped out of God's will and timing. But He promises that He can work everything for our good (Romans 8:28). He also wants us to turn to Him with our hurt so that He can heal our hearts (even thought it usually isn't an instant healing.)

Psalm 34:18 says, "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

I am proud of you for making the hard choice to pursue purity. Only God can heal your heart and keep your feet steady on the path toward purity in the future. It's a good thing He is always faithful!

Erin

Katie

alot of random stuff
on Monday, June 13, 2011 at 8:24 pm

What bothers me is me and my bf Cole have been together for a while now and my dad still hasen't relaxed at all he is always in a bad mood it seems when Cole is talked about or comes over my mom is happy for me and everything.
Im 14 and Cole is 16 and I love the thought of forever but I mean when im 18 he is gonna be 20 and want different things than me but I mean God can make anything happen I hope he lets this last forever.

Cole told me this today i guess I talk about sex alot i never even noticed i did but he said he loves to talk about it but he wants to be able to talk to me about more than just sex. i mean sex is so fun to talk about i dont even know why but it is.

Also me and Cole have been getting physical i mean at first it was just kissing and holding hands like cute little things now its getting to making out and touching i mean idk what to do cause when we start my body wants more and i tell him to stop but i never mean it do stuff so he will keep going

Lorree, with the LYWB team

re: Katie
on Wednesday, June 22, 2011 at 11:57 am

I am concerned for you, Katie, for a couple of reasons. I would encourage you to take the time to ask your dad about his feelings about Cole. Our dads have wisdom about other guys that we just don’t have as women. He may be seeing things in Cole that cause him to have concern for you. God placed Fathers over us in authority and part of their job is to protect us. Your responsibility as his daughter is to obey and respect him (Eph. 6:1-2).

The second concern I have is in regards to your interest in sex. As a young man and young woman become more and more physical with each other, they awaken desires that God meant to only be between a husband and a wife. As those desires are awakened, they can quickly lead to more and more intimate physical contact. Erin just did a blog on how a kiss starts chemical reactions in the brain. It is very interesting and eye opening. You can find this blog at http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=744. God says we are to avoid even a hint of sexual immorality (Eph. 5:3). It would be best for you to have a relationship built on purity (both in the heart and physically).

Praying for you, Katie! Praying that you will have the desire to do the hard thing – the right thing - and make changes in your life rather than keep going down this dangerous, slippery path.

jack

boyfriend
on Thursday, June 30, 2011 at 9:41 pm

hi i know what you guys are going through bc ive been there myself. ive believed and might still believe that i need a boyfriend when i dont. with a boyfriend that is how i coped with life. he was there when i needed him but when i didnt i would push him away sometimes. i know it hurts. im 18 and the pain is still there since i was 11. i started dating at 11 through 10th grade, girls let me tell you, its not worth the pain. trust me. i wish i had listened to my parents on the topic of boyfriends.
thank yuo fro reading this and please pray for me as i talk about this topic with my parents and friends.

viky

Boyfriend
on Thursday, August 11, 2011 at 5:05 pm

I still don't get whats so wrong with having a boyfriend. I know this really great guy and we are not bf gf but we are more then friends. is that ok? we hang out alot and txt like every day! im really happy i met him and i wanna stay with him because we really love each other!

Carrie, with the LYWB team

Vikey
on Saturday, August 13, 2011 at 12:06 am

Hey Viky,

Friendships between guys and girls are great! Erin’s post “How do I interact with guys just as a friend?” (http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=676) talks about this. The problem comes when a relationship with guy becomes a priority over your relationship with God.

So here are a few questions that might help you as you consider your relationship with your friend.

• Am I spending more time with this guy (face to face, texting, talking etc.) than I do with Jesus… in prayer and in His Word?
• Am I praying for my friend daily and for the woman who will one day be his wife. (Doing this is a great way to be reminded of how to talk/relate to a man who may one day be another woman’s husband).
• How am I challenging my friend in his relationship with Jesus? How is he challenging me?

Hope that helps!

viky

I need a boyfriend
on Monday, August 29, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Thanks:) it did help. but now my mom thinks that we are more then friends and she doesnt let me talk to him and she took my phone away because i said i love him (as a good friend) but she took it the wrong way and now we cant talk. i feel a bit depressed because of this. but i talk to him at church and everywhere where my mom is not. how can i stop feeling depressed?

Carrie, with the LYWB team

Viky
on Tuesday, August 30, 2011 at 10:57 am

I’m sorry you feel like your mom misunderstood your intention when you expressed yourself to your friend. The bottom line now is that you definitely want to honor your mom. If she has asked you not to have contact with your friend…however difficult that may be…you don’t want to go behind her back in this, Viky. God can’t honor that. And you want His blessing in your life and in your relationships!

So here’s the deal. Scripture tells us that God uses all things for His purposes in our lives (Rom. 8:28). So today, let Jesus know that you want to do this His way. That you choose to honor your mom and what she has asked of you. Ask Him what He wants you to learn about who He is through all of this. Let Him know that you want to trust Him and need His help in doing that.

Here’s a great verse for you to think on today, Viky!
In this you great rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, that the proof of your faith being more precious than gold may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ ( 1 Peter 1:6).
Praying for you, friend ~
Carrie

Jay

Boyfriend
on Tuesday, September 20, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Hello:)..i need boyfriend help!...half of my friends have a boyfriend and most of em are only 13 or 14!...and they say its great!!!!...and the thing is i cant date right now till i am a lill older..im only 13!!! my parents say that i shouldnt be dating at 13..they r prob right..but its very hard when all of your friends say they have this amazing boyfriend...but then its like a new guy every month for them:\..its really hard for me when thats the only thing they talk about!..it makes me feel bad for my self that i dont have a bf...how can i make my self feel good that i dont have a bf..anyones help would mean alot THX

Carrie, with the LYWB team

Jay
on Wednesday, September 21, 2011 at 11:12 am

Hey Jay,

So proud of you for heeding the direction of your parents! God is proud of you too, Jay (Eph. 6:1-3).

Paula touched on your question in today’s LYWB Blog post; you can check it out here: (http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=809).

Praying Jesus will overwhelm you with His love today!

“The LORD your God wins victory after victory and is always with you. He celebrates and sings because of you, and he will refresh your life with his love ( Zeph. 3:17).”
Carrie

Jay

Boyfriend
on Thursday, September 22, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Ok i will check it out..thank you so much Carrie:)

Sarah

boyfriend
on Thursday, November 17, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Hi,
Like Jay half of my friends are saying how great it is to have a boyfriend. But when all of my friends want to go hang out with guys or bring their boyfriends i feel like a loner or a 5th wheel. I just get so lonely i have guy friends who will talk with me but is not the same. Any Advice??

Sarah, with the LYWB team

boyfriend
on Saturday, November 19, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Sarah...We know this is a difficult situation. Guys often feel the same way when all their friends have girlfriends. But realize God’s timing in your life may not be the same as your friends. Also note that when your friends are upset or sad because their boyfriend didn’t call or is dating someone else, you’ll not have those heartaches right now. So trust the Lord, have good and godly friendships and be grateful for the grief you avoid at this time in your life.

God bless you as you seek to find your company with Him in those lonely times!

Sarah

Thank you Sarah!!
on Sunday, November 20, 2011 at 5:06 pm

Hi Sarah,
Thank you for the advice. And yes I do see some of my friends go through the heartaches.I think to myself wow i am sorry for my friend but am glad when it is not me going through those heartaches. I am also finding that when i am lonely it gives me time to talk with my heavenly father!=)
Thanks Sarah!!

Sarah, with the LYWB team

Sarah :-)
on Wednesday, November 23, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Atta girl, Sarah! Use those times of loneliness to talk with our Heavenly Father! You can't beat that! The One who loves you wildly--Eph. 3:18-19! Sure appreciate your post!

Amber

A Perfect Reminder =)
on Saturday, December 3, 2011 at 9:10 pm

hi!
Wanted to share lyrics from a song that I wrote on my white board in the kitchen that I look at everyday.

From these lyrics I structured it into a letter that I know God would send me ...

I truely believe that these lines (besides God's Word of course!) will help you remember the love God has for you, what kind of love He WILL give you, how He expressed His love, and that His love ONLY will never stop =)

Dear (Your Name)

Your my beloved, lover I am yours
Death will not part us
For you (your name), I died for
For better or worse,
Together we will be
MY love unites us.

Love,
Your Groom

1 John 3:1a

See how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God; and such we are.

Mallory :)

The perfect Reminder! :)
on Monday, December 5, 2011 at 9:10 am

That perfect Reminder was a really big help for me to understand that I dont need a boyfriend to be happy and I have the perfect man is out there and I just have to wait and trust that he will come around one of these days! :)

IWTBJG

Its so hard...Help!
on Monday, December 5, 2011 at 9:42 pm

Its so hard to stay content! I tell my mom, aunt, and even best friends that im content the way i am...no boyfriend, and i am content! but, sometimes it gets so hard i just want to know that theres a guy who likes me, appreciates me for who i am! theres 2 guys in my class who i think are cute and im becoming fiends with one of them but neither of them really tell me anything or seem to comunicate any feelings! im resting in God for his wisdom because i recognize that im only in 11 grade but i feel these are natural feelings. i dont want to start dating, i simply want to share mutual feelings/likes with one guy! i dont want to give away a part of me or my heart too soon! i dont know anymore...its so hard in these days! I have made a vow of purity and committed and surrendered my life to His service and will so i am comfortable where im at. however, sometimes i fall. I really just need to hear some advice from all of you girls! Help!!!!!

~Thanks!

Lorree, with the LYWB team

re: IWTBJG
on Wednesday, December 7, 2011 at 11:04 am

God created us as women to be relational. So the feelings you have in desiring a relationship are normal. But God wants us to fulfill that relational need through our relationship with Him. He is the only One who knows our deepest heart needs and has the ability to fulfill every one of them! When we expect a guy or a relationship with a guy to fulfill this need, we will always meet disappointment.

This is a great time for you to be focusing on growing in your relationship with God and becoming all He wants you to be so that you are ready when He sends a guy your way.
Continue to rest in God and in His plan for your life as you fulfill your vow of purity – not only physical purity, but also emotional and spiritual purity as well. Spend time in the Word – reading, meditating, memorizing – and as you do, He will be the center of your thought life. Continue strong in the battle, friend. You will fall, but God’s grace will enable you to start again. Praying for you, friend!!!

IWTBJG

RE:Lorree
on Thursday, December 8, 2011 at 7:03 pm

Thank you so much for your advice! I appreciate you praying for me. I have been struggling alot lately with staying on track with my devos and have also been feeling alot of rejection lately by many people, and some close friends! Thanks again!

IWTBJG

RE:Mallory:)
on Thursday, December 8, 2011 at 7:04 pm

I love your comment! Thanks for the encouragement!

God's Girl

something that encourages me to wait for God's time
on Friday, December 9, 2011 at 12:41 pm

[a few months back reading this, I typed it out so I could remember it later after reading it in the book Passion and Purity, and it's not mine, but Elisabeth Elliot's. So all credit to the original author.

O Christ, He is the fountian,

The deep, sweet well of love!

The streams on earth I've tasted

More deep I'll drink above:

There to an ocean fulness

His mercy doth expand,

And glory, glory dwelleth

In Immanuel's land.

-Samuel Rutherford

Oh Love, that wilt not let me go,

I rest my weary soul in Thee;

I give Thee back the life I owe,

That in Thine ocean depths its flow

My richer, fuller be.

-George Matheson

One thing I of the Lord desire, for all my life hath miry been--

Be it by water or by fire, Oh make me clean, Oh make me clean!

So wash me now, without, within, or purge with fire, if that must be,

No matter how, if only sin die out in me, die out in me.

-Dr, Charles Brooks

Take my love-- my God, I pour

At Thy feet its treasure store.

-Francis Ridley Havegal

Does God Want Everything? [excerpt of Chpt. 5 "Passion and Purity"]

God sifted men's heart in Old Testament times.

The time came when God put Abraham to the test. "Abraham," He called, and Abraham replied, "Here I am." God said, "Take your son Isaac, your only son, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah. There you shall offer him as a sacrifice on one of the hills which I will show you." So Abraham rose early in the morning and saddled his ass...and set out....

God was still sifting hearts in New Testement times:

...A man came up and asked him, "Master, what good must I do to gain eternal life?"... Jesus said to him, "If you wish to go the whole way, go, sell your possessions, and give to the poor, and then you will have riches in heaven; and come, follow Me."

No man is worthy of Me who cares more for father or mother than for Me; no man is worthy of Me who cares more for son or daughter; no man is worthy of Me who does not take up his cross and walk in My footsteps. By gaining his life a man will lose it; by losing his life for my sake, he will gain it.

I count everything sheer loss, because all is far outweighed by the gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I did in fact lose everything. I count it so much garbage, for the sake of gaining Christ.

Great spiritual principles. Unarguable. To all of them, my intellect gave full consent. A gaint of the faith like Abraham or Paul the apostle-- of course they had to be tested with great tests. I was only a college girl, trying to do well in my studies, praying for direction for my life, attracted to a very appealing man whose primary interest was in the Kingdom of God. Anything wrong with that?

"If you wish to go the whole way...." It was not to the intellect alone that the question came. My heart and my feelings were involved now, and I must give an answer. God was sifting me this time. Did I want to go the "whole way"? Yes, Lord.

"Do you want to be worthy of Me?" Yes, Lord.

"Do you want to know Christ Jesus as Lord?" Certainly, Lord.

In Lilias Trotter's beautifully illustrated book, Parables of the Cross, she describes the death-life cycle of plants, which illustrates the spiritual processes that must go on in us if we are to die to self and live to God. In the love life, as well as in other areas:

The fair new petals must fall, and for no visible reason. No one seems enriched by the stripping.

And the first step into the realm of giving is a like surrender-- not manward but Godward: an utter yielding of our best. So long as our idea of surrender is limited to the renouncing of unlawful things, we have never grasped its true meaning: that is not worthy of the name for "no polluted thing" can be offered.

The life lost on the Cross was not a sinful one-- the treasure poured forth there was God-given, God-blessed treasure, lawful and right to be kept: only that there was the life of the world at stake.

What kind of a God is it who asks everything of us? The same God who "...did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all; and with this gift how can He fail to lavish upon us all He has to give?"

He gives all.

He asks all.

April 2-- I am seized with fear that my own will will be given place, and I will thus ruin my usablness for God. It would be easy to follow my feelings...to interfere with the voice of the Lord when He says, "This is the way, walk ye in it."

I wanted to be loved. Nothing unusual about that, nothing to separate my generation from any other.

But I wanted something deeper. Down among all the foolishness in my diary, thoughts like chaff which the wind of the Spirit can drive away, there was some wheat. There was an honest-to-God longing for the "fixed heart" that the collect speaks of. A thousand questions cluttered my mind, the same ones I find today in the letters I receive. I had thought some of mine were new. My correspondents think the same. They aren't. But the question to precede all others, which finally determines the course of our lives, is What do I really want?

Was it to love what God comands, in the words of the collect, and to desire what He promises? Did I want what I wanted or did I want what He wanted, no matter what it might cost?

Until the will and the affections are brought under the authority of Christ, we have not begun to understand, let alone accept, His lordship. The Cross, as it enters the love life, will reveal the heart's truth. My heart, I knew, would be forever a lonely hunter unless settled "where true joys are to be found."

On morning I was reading the story of Jesus' feeding of the five thousand. The disicples could find only five loaves of bread and two fishes. "Let me have them," said Jesus. He asked for all. He took them, said the blessing, and broke them before He gave them out. I remembered what a chapel speaker Ruth Stull of Peru, had said: "If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will satisfy only a little lad."

[next excerpt from Chpt. 7]

The Lord told King David to set up an altar on the threshing floor that belonged to Araunah the Jebusite. Whent the king asked Araunah if he might buy it, Araunah begged him to take it, as a gift, along with his oxen for an offering and the threshing sledges for fuel. "No," said the king, "...I will not offer to the Lord my God whole-offerings that have cost me nothing...."

Lord, I said, here's my heart.

O God, our hearts are fixed. Let us not turn.

Consume all our affections, let Thy love burn.

May 6-- Who would have guessed what a few days would bring forth? How can God work His will in me if I am clogged with wishes of my own? Thy will be done.

I was certainly in a state! "Clogged with wishes." I was wishing that my wishes were what God wished, and if my wishes were not what God wished, I wished that I could wish that my wishes would go away, but the wishes were still there.

May 9-- For the best bliss that earth imparts

We turn unfilled to Thee again.

"Jesus, Thou Joy of Loving Hearts"

*All of this has been taken from Elisabeth Elliot's book Passion and Purity.

This section of the book encouraged ME to wait, and I hope that whoever reads this post will feel the same way. God bless!

Lorree, with the LYWB team

re: IWTBJG
on Monday, December 12, 2011 at 11:08 am

You will be encouraged and strengthened as you go through this tough time by getting back into the Word, friend! God’s love will comfort you and give you the confidence to continue on even though others seem to be rejecting you. His love is always there for you. Read Romans 8:31-39 to remind yourself how much He loves you! His love never ends! Praying for you today!

IWTBJG

Thanks, Lorree!
on Tuesday, December 13, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Lorree, thanks so much for these verses! I love this passage and it was a great encouragement to read them today! God is amazing and He is faithful even when its so hard to depend on Him!

Im praying for you as well!

Bekah

Wanting a reply..
on Tuesday, December 13, 2011 at 10:35 pm

Hey! Can someone respond to me in the blog titled "Do Your Man Some Good" in the guys section! Thanks!

Sarah, with the LYWB team

Wanting a reply...
on Thursday, December 15, 2011 at 10:42 pm

You got it, Bekah! Keep on, girl; you are doing a good thing!

Erin Davis

Bekah
on Monday, December 19, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Here is a link to the post you requested.

http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=575

Erin Davis

Tara

not good enough
on Tuesday, February 28, 2012 at 11:10 am

I feel as if im not pretty enough if a guy dosent like me i feel that my friends have all these boyfriends and guys like them because their pretty and skinny and buetiful but i feel as if im fat and ugly when im around them and it starts to bring me down and people always tell me im not fat or im prettty but i dont feel pretty or skinny. i know God made me the way i am but sometimes its hard to make myself believe im good enough.
HELP!!! Please

Lorree, with the LYWB team

re: Tara,
on Tuesday, February 28, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Oh, sweet friend, God created you a beautiful, one-of-a-kind, precious young woman (Ps. 139: 14). Your true beauty comes from your relationship with God, Tara! As you spend time with the Lord and grow to love Him more and more through the study of His Word, His beauty will radiate through your life. That beauty is more than physical beauty and it will be the beauty that God will use to bring a man into your life. You have plenty of time for guys. Spend this time focusing on the true Lover of your soul! God loves you more than you can possibly imagine, Tara! His love and sacrifice for you is the only thing that will ever make you “good enough”. His love is a gift that will carry you through this season of your life. Praying you will choose to love Him with your whole heart, soul and mind and believe in His love for you!

Erin t

dont understand
on Thursday, May 31, 2012 at 7:32 pm

i dont understand why guys arent interested in me alot. i guess its cuz i live in a small town. idk. and im not ugly or anything. ive been offered to be a model for some big shot guy but i guess gods just putting all the guys off until the right time. hmmm maybe its a good thing?

im not trying to sound concieted or anything. it just kinda concerns me....
maybe im to skinny?

Lorree, with the LYWB team

Erin t
on Monday, June 4, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Erin, you can trust God to bring the right guy into your life at the right time. I encourage you to use this time of your life to cultivate relationships with your girlfriends and to focus on your relationship with God. As you spend time with God in prayer and the reading of His Word, your heart will become more like Him. It is this inner beauty—your Christ-likeness—that will draw young men to you in God’s timing. Praying for you, sweet friend!

Hellen

Why?
on Monday, September 3, 2012 at 6:04 pm

I feel so terrible at church sometimes. There are clyques and I'm certanly not in the popular one. The problem in my church is that, 95% of the teens there are "popular" and "very attractive". The popular girls that are around my age and less attractive occassionaly say hi, but i'm always helpless and left out without one of the two close friends I have there. It really annoyse me that when the now popular girls first came to our church I treated them kindly and friendly. And then after they start talking to the cute boys who have no interest in me or a more prettier girl to talk to my stabbed in the back. The worst partho, is the popular boys my age (mainly two) one of them used to like me but now were over and rarely says a word to me at all. The other is just flat out rude, he'll say rude stuff to me and one time I was waiting in line, he cut me and i pretended not to notice, then after he played I said it was my turn and kept ignoring me UGH! And its not like I am terribly either, I am probly a 7 out of ten. Sometimes when girls are talking Ill say something and they just keep talking like I'm not even there. Please give me some advice :/

Carrie, with the LYWB team

@Hellen
on Friday, September 7, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Jesus is your example, friend. He is the perfect Son of God – 10 out of 10 – and yet while He was on earth people ignored Him, spoke cruelly about Him and severely mistreated Him. His response? He loved them. He died so they could have a relationship with His Father.

Philippians 2:3-5 says we are to have the same attitude as Jesus did. We’re to think of others as better than ourselves. We’re to look out for their interests and not just our own.

So rather than thinking about how others are treating you, Hellen, ask Jesus to help you see the needs of others. Without a doubt there is a girl at your church who needs a smile, a word of encouragement, a friend who will help her see Jesus in the midst of her circumstances. Will you be that one who looks to meet the needs of others, friend?

Praying you’ll follow in Jesus footsteps today.

Adriennaengle

Help!
on Wednesday, September 19, 2012 at 11:21 am

I have 2 guys liking me right now. One i love (his name is Dylan) and the other i don't (his name is Zack) which one should i choose?

Sarah, with the LYWB team

@Adriennaengle...
on Friday, September 28, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Sit down and write the "pros and cons" to each relationship. The one with the deeper commitment to Christ would be the greatest "pro" for either of them! Pray diligently until God gives you peace! (James 1:5) Praying for you tonight that God will give you direction.

Adriennaengle

Thank you!
on Tuesday, October 2, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Thank you! that will help me a lot to decide what God wants for me.

Grace

Where i got ex back
on Monday, November 26, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Am MRS GRACE BENSON from freetown my husband broke up with me last week and i tried deferent types of solutions including love doctors spell casters and nothing good came of out it so i was about to give up then i came across this temple on the internet so i said i should give it a try to my suprise the temple ask me of some information which i give and said it will cast some spell that in four day time my ex husband will be back with me that all i have to do is to wait till four days so i did and i started seeing result in the third day my ex started contacting me and in the forth day he finally came back to me right now am so happy and i thank God for coming across this temple the temple really help me to rescue my relationship i decided to share my experience cause i know it will help some other person wish you the best of luck to contact the temple here is it email address :earlierthebetterspelltemple@gmail.com

Brandy

How i back my job with one spell
on Monday, November 26, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Am brandy and am testifying for the spell i got from earlierthebetterspelltemple@gmail.com which brought back my job i cant thank you enough for your kindness i really appreciate your good work

Lani

Re:Truth
on Thursday, November 29, 2012 at 12:51 am

I heard a quote saying "The only one who can truly satisfy the heart, is the one who made it"

Kaye

Re:
on Monday, February 25, 2013 at 7:44 pm

So, my boyfriend asked me this question today. He asked "If God is so high and mighty and good and he's everywhere and he can watch you and knows what you're going to do, then what's the point in having me stick around?" I'm paraphrasing that, but that's similar to what he asked me.

And, I could not answer him at that moment, because i had no idea of how to answer it. And, I will say that I accepted Jesus into my life yesterday (I'm feeling fantastic about that) but he's not a Christian. So, I'm not sure how to respond to his question with out using verses of the Bible, because, really, he just thinks that the Bible is just a bunch of stories. So, how do I ... answer a question like that...?

Sarah, with the LYWB team

@Kaye...
on Wednesday, February 27, 2013 at 11:42 pm

What a delight it is to hear you have given Jesus your heart and life and are not a Christ follower! Wow! That is beautiful!! Welcome to the family!

If you can, use this analogy to help your boyfriend understand this relationship. Just as a grandparent loves and cherishes a grandchild, even though he will have to spend much of his time taking care of her/him, so God loves us and likes us around because He wants us to be in His family.

God bless you, Kaye, as you grow in Christ!

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