What's the Difference Between Courtship and Dating?

posted by Erin Davis on 02/06/11 | Twitter: @ErinGraffiti
Category: Guys; ; 52 comments

Last week, I asked you to give me your most burning love questions. You did! More than 100 of you left us a comment with a question about love and romance.

Here’s one that caught my eye. Mars asked, “I hear the word 'courting' a lot in opposition to 'dating.' What are the differences between the two and which relationship is the better of the two?”

Great question! Courtship and dating are words that are thrown around a lot on this blog. I think Mars is right, that it is important that we know if there’s a difference between the courtship and dating and understand if one is better than the other when placed through the filter of God’s Word.

Courtship has been around for a long, long time. For many, courtship feels like an old-fashioned word that conjures up images of a couple sitting in a living room under the watchful eye of parents until the fella gets down on one knee and proposes. Courtship crashed back onto the cultural landscape in a big way several years ago when Joshua Harris wrote the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Since then, many families and young people have adopted a commitment to courtship. What does that look like in 2011? Typically:

A young man and woman do not court until they are ready for their relationship to move toward marriage.
The couple’s parents are involved in establishing the boundaries for the relationships and have an opinion on whether or not a guy or gal is a wise potential mate.
The couple doesn’t spend a lot (if any) of time together alone.

These are good parameters. In fact, they are better than good … they are biblical.

Song of Solomon 8:4 says, “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” In fact, this statement is repeated three times throughout the book Song of Solomon. That means it’s important. Pursuing romantic intimacy before marriage is a real possibility opens you up to all kind of struggles. The heart of courtship is the notion that you won’t just date for fun but will pursue romance with marriage as an end goal.

Exodus 20:12 tells us to honor our father and mother. This is true for all areas of our lives. Involving your parents in your romantic relationships is a great way to honor them and to make sure that your plans for your love life line up with theirs.

First Corinthians 6:18 tells us to flee from sexual immorality. That means to run in the opposite direction. Limiting time alone is a great way to run from the temptation to get overly physical.

I’ve been around a lot of girls who court and a lot of families who want their children to court. I think what they are doing is great. Clearly, the basic principles of courtship are so important to living a lifestyle of purity.

What’s the difference between dating and courtship? I have found that many times it’s simply semantics. I have known lots of girls who haven’t committed themselves to courtship and yet, they don’t date just for fun; they only date guys who seem like good husband material, they involve their parents in their decision making and they do everything possible to keep their relationships pure.

I have found this to be an area where some people fall into pride. It is fantastic to make a solid commitment to pursue God’s standards for romance either as an individual or as a family. But just because someone else is doing the same thing but calling it something different doesn’t meant they are any less committed to sticking to God’s plan for romance.

So, Mars … between courtship and dating, which is better? The answer is they aren’t as different as some might lead you to think. The bottom line is that God asks you to wait on His timing for romance, to only date guys who love Him with their whole hearts, and to do whatever it takes to stay away from sexual sin. I call that purity.

Note: I will answer one of your love questions each Friday this month. If your question is chosen, you'll receive a free copy of Dannah's book And the Bride Wore White.

Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

Brandie

Question
on Sunday, February 6, 2011 at 4:30 pm

So I have a Mormon friend who has admitted he likes me and well I like him. We want to date, but I'm a Christian. What is the difference between Mormons and Christians? My parents don't approve of Mormons, but I like him a lot. Why is there this division between Christians and Mormons and is it wrong to date one?

MGD

Thanks!
on Sunday, February 6, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Thanks! I think that's really a great reminder for everyone! Sometimes it is so hard to put it all into perspective, but when we realize we are supposed to honor God in EVERYTHING, That helps a lot. I used to be super bot crazy, but just reading books such as When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy (my favorite) or Passion in Purity by Elisabeth Elliot have really helped tremendously! Everyone has different convictions, but it boils down to this: Are you pleasing and honoring God? Are you striving to follow Him in everything, no matter the cost? It can be very hard at times, but everything is possible with Him! Right now I have a friend who I am interested in, and I think he is interested in me. But we are just staying friends, and I can tell that these books and seeking God daily have really turned my boy craziness around, even though this guy likes me! It's very cool!

Shanni

Courting?
on Sunday, February 6, 2011 at 6:37 pm

Erin, if two people never spend any time alone toegether, than how will they get to know eachother intimately? I do agree that being completely alone with a guy is asking for trouble, but do you think that it is a bad idea to go on a date(aka just you and your guy) in a public place, which would ensure imtimate talks but protect you because you are around other people? Like, would it be a good idea to have coffee or lunch with a guy?

Chloe

Thanks :)
on Sunday, February 6, 2011 at 6:50 pm

I think that courtship is a great idea because this way your parents are giving their constant opinion on what they think of the guy. I bet that if more couples tried getting their parents involved in their relationships and letting them have a say, then a lot less bad things would happen. Thank you for posting this :)

Molly

Thanks!!
on Sunday, February 6, 2011 at 7:58 pm

Wow, thanks Erin!! That means a lot to me!! That is pretty much what I see courtship as. I never want to date, but I didn't want to do the old fashioned way of courting. Although the old way is kinda romantic, I want to be able to adapt it to what I need as a young women in 2011. Now, I am not saying bend the whole system, just adjust it to where you an your parents agree on safe ground. What is the "happy medium"? I would say spending time with the "option" with family around until you get to know that person well enough. Then you can have some time alone, learning about each other in a pure way. As long as us girls hold a high standard, all will be great!! But, whenever you lower that standard for "the one", you create a problem. DON'T LOWER YOUR STANDARD AFTER YOU GET ENGAGED!!! That is going to be the toughest. After you get engaged, you will want to let the whole world know you found "the one". But, in wanting that (I don't think it's wrong), you will end up lowering your standards. My violation area would be: cuddling; excessive holding of hands; light kisses on the cheek; footsies; sitting on laps; "hanging". These are just the ones I would consider major, depending on what your standards are, next to sex. All of these things are something you CAN do AFTER marriage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just some more of my rambling thoughts........

Molly

Nchole

Thx!
on Sunday, February 6, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Thanks for the reminders! I've read "I kissed dating goodbye" and it is a very good book! Everybody has there own standards for relationships (or u should!), and you along with Joshua Harris have helped shape my standards. God is good and I am trying to glorify Him in all I say and do and that would include dating. Thx again for posting your blog! It helps keep me focused and in line with the path God wants me going down and not where I want to go.

Sammy

Re:
on Sunday, February 6, 2011 at 9:54 pm

if you were to date how big of an age difference would you suggest?

Kyrstin

Thank you!
on Sunday, February 6, 2011 at 10:00 pm

Thank you for giving a clear explanation between courtship and dating! So many people get confused and caught up in words, but it can really all be the same thing. Your reminder about pride was also very good, and convicting! It was a good refresher.

Soccer girl

Re:
on Sunday, February 6, 2011 at 10:59 pm

I just have a question. I am committed to waiting for romance to happen in God's timing. Does this mean flirting with the guy I like is wrong?

Rebekah

Re:
on Monday, February 7, 2011 at 6:56 am

What about dating a young man who's not the same domination of faith as you? I've heard the argument, "well he's still a Christian - so what does it matter?" or do you think the differences of doctrines or/and beliefs will still clash in the relationship?

Meg

Good advice.
on Monday, February 7, 2011 at 8:01 am

I loved that post! All aroun me there are girls just dating for fun. I will not date until i am ready to find a husband. So i guess you could say i think courtship is a wise and smart idea.

Nichole N.

????
on Monday, February 7, 2011 at 8:35 am

I was wondering when God shows you who you are going to marry how will you know and what if you dont even like the guy that God has for you?

Nichole

Steve240

Kissing Dating Goodbye
on Monday, February 7, 2011 at 10:12 am

You might enjoy my blog where I also critique Josh Harris's book:

www.ikdg.wordpress.com
"I Kissed Dating Goodbye: Wisdom or Foolishness?"

Unfortunately Josh Harris is quick to point out the defects of dating but won't admit the problems and defects with his approach. Even at his own church he acknowledged a number of problems but doesn't share them on his website.

Sheila

...mmm?
on Monday, February 7, 2011 at 10:52 am

Sorry, but i disagree in the part of "not dating" and here are some reasons:

1) OK, we should trust the Lord, but he has giving us intelligence and wisdom in order to distinguish, so it's very important to spend time with the other guy, how would you know if he is a truly son of God and not only someone that "goes to the church".

2) There are people truly desperate to marry and they don´t wait until God's will due to their parents or society opinion, so they marry inmeadiatly to the person they parents suggest. I think it's dangerous if two young people don't understand that their parents are not in a truly relationship with God.

I could give many examples but it's just a matther of researching on what happened with those marriage of two centuries ago, when young ladies committed to a man they didn't love. I'm not saying that we should not honor to our parents, but to really trust the Lord and honor Him. We should pray and keep ourselves on worship though that person comes to our life or not. God never says NO, he says YES or IS NOT TIME.

LiuA

I have a question
on Monday, February 7, 2011 at 11:02 am

What should I do if a non christian guy is flirting to me and he has a girlfriend? I have settle limits because he is my instructor, but he insists, should I ran away or face him?

Chloe

Brandie
on Monday, February 7, 2011 at 12:54 pm

I personally don't think that there's anything wrong with dating mormons. I have known people who have done it before and sometimes it works out just fine. But if your parents aren't okay with you dating one, then you shouldn't. The diversion between the two is that mormon's have a different idea of who God is. But as long as a person can respect their boyfriend/girlfriends belief then there's nothing wrong with....I don't think. I have a question myself, are some mormons Christian? I know that there are Catholics who are Christian, and Catholics who aren't. Does the same go for mormons?

Horsesforever

Question
on Monday, February 7, 2011 at 3:47 pm

But courting can be kinda dull cant it. i mean sitting there talking to that "special" guy, while your parents are starring you down doesnt sound very good.Example: Guy; ya i like basketball its my favoritesport. Me: oh thats cool i li-
Dad: WAIT! you dont like football then hmmmmm. See wait i mean

Caty

Re: Brandie
on Monday, February 7, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Brandie, before you consider a relationship with this young man who is a Mormon you need to step back and learn a few things about his faith. Mormonism is VERY different than Christianity. I can't tell you a whole lot about it but I do know a few things. First of all they do not base their faith solely on the Bible. Secondly, they do not believe that Jesus Christ is the only begotten Son of God. These two things alone are big red flags. There is a lil more i could share but there is also a lot i don't know. I don't want to share any false info so i strongly encourage you to research and learn about that specific faith on your own. I would not advise you to have a relationship with this young man, that would cause you to compromise your faith and that is not something that you need to do. Hope the Lord will help you to make the right decision. <><

Bonnie Kate

Re:
on Monday, February 7, 2011 at 6:20 pm

I am committed to keeping myself pure until I get married and only having a realationship with a guy who loves Christ. But, if courtship means you never get to spend time alone with that person, how are you really going to get to know them??? It's kinda hard to have a deep realationship with them if other people are sitting right next to you.

Bri

Steve240
on Monday, February 7, 2011 at 10:35 pm

I loved the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". There are faults with both sides, like with everything, but in my opinion the way he lays out makes sure you KNOW it is Gods will for you to marry that person. He says in the book that it's not a "one size fits all" thing, but based on your convictions. He also said that it COULD be called dating or courting, it didn't really matter what you called it. He tried to lay out a plan based on what God tells us in his word. If you are too young to get married you SHOULD be working on your relationship with God more than with a specific boy, and if you are old enough but aren't ready to get married it's the same way. I know a guy who isn't emotionally mature enough to marry even though he is over 30. If you are following what your parents think is best and what you think God wants you to do according to what he says in the bible then you can't go wrong. That's what I thought Josh was saying in the book. I don't see what would be wrong with not dating when you are too young to be married. Why get your heart broken over and over? It just doesn't make sense.
What do you think is WRONG with Josh's approach?

Caty

re:
on Monday, February 7, 2011 at 11:09 pm

Several of you said that courting sounds dull, or having your parents there all the time would be a bad thing. I admit that it doesn't sound too great when your first hear about it, but it really is a good plan. Many different ppl use the term courting but have different guidelines, so there is not just one set of rules or one way to do it right. Your parents don't always have to be sitting there breathing down your neck, they can be in another part of the room separate from you, not listening to every conversation you have. The main idea is to not be alone so you can avoid sexual temptation or false accusations by others, not to have your parents dictate every lil thing. Some people would even be okay if you were outside on the front porch or something like that together as long as others are around to keep an eye out. Some ppl even think that a couple going on a date together by themselves is fine as long as it is in a public place that is very populated, the only problem there is it is probably not best to ride in the same vehicle alone. Dates alone are usually only allowed once the couple have really gotten to know each other and have been together for a while. Also things like double dates with other Christian friends can be fun. Just make sure you are going with like-minded friends who understand your boundaries and standards. Even though you don't have to be with your families 100% of the time it is good to spend time with them so you can get to know each others families.

It doesn't matter if you call it "courting" or not the main thing is the principles behind it. It is a good alternative to what most dating is now. Dating according to what most people do now is more like recreational romance and most ppl do not have marriage in mind. I believe God is pleased when we try to follow His Word in our relationships and He can bless us when we are in His will. I have already seen His blessing in my life. I know sometimes there seems to be a shortage of strong Christian young men, but don't give up hope. I thought the very same thing, I didn't think there were any eligible guys where I lived, but you know what God brought one to me! I know first-hand that God can bless us when we do things His way. <><

Erin Davis

Alone together?
on Tuesday, February 8, 2011 at 8:26 am

Hey, girls I don't think I was very clear in my post about whether or not the Bible allows couples to be alone together. I guess this is one of the main differences between what people call "courting" and what they call "dating." The Bible doesn't expressly forbid a guy and girl being alone together and I personally don't think that couples can never, ever be alone together. I do think it is wise to be with other people as often as possible and not to put yourselves in a position to sin sexually (such as being alone together in a bedroom, or in a basement with a couch with no chance of adult interruption.) Part of my desire in writing this article was to highlight that even people who go on dates can be committed to purity and keep that commitment and don't deserve to be looked down upon by those who want to stick to a more traditional definition of courtship. The bottom line is that your physical and emotional purity needs to be protected at all times. This means you must establish boundaries that will prevent you from getting too physical. Does that make sense?

Erin

Bri

Brandie
on Tuesday, February 8, 2011 at 10:46 am

The main difference between Mormons and Christians is this; Mormons don't believe that Jesus is God. They believe he was a good man, even a prophet, but they don't believe he was God. This is a BIG problem as the Bible makes it very clear the Jesus IS God. Mormons also believe Joseph Smith was a prophet who received revelation for an angel, also a problem as the Bible says in Galatians 1:8 "But even if we [Paul and the rest of the Apostles], or an angel from heaven, should preach to you a gospel contrary to what we have preached to you, he is to be accursed!". They believe that Smith had to get this revelation because Jesus’ task was incomplete because he died. The beginnings are similar to how Islam began, Mormonism just started at a different point in history.

Does this answer your question, Brandie?

Buterfly36

My opinion
on Tuesday, February 8, 2011 at 11:34 am

Okay here's my thing. It really doesn't matter what you call it. I know people who have had thier hearts broken courting and I know people who have had really good success dating. I think it all has to do with that triangle that Brice told us about. THe one where God is at the top and the girl is in one corner and the guy is in the other as they go toward the point(God) they become closer together. If we are truely wanting God's will we will not have to worry about all the problems that come with dating becase we wont do them anyway. The problem for me with dating is the fact that you are always on your best behavior. You like him he likes you and you are always thinking that way. Courting seems to be your family and thier family all hanging out together, which is okay but do you really get to know the person? I think I God is the center of your life you really can't go wrong no matter what you do (dating vs. courting). What about double dating? Where two couples go together. You are held acountable with out your whole family getting involved. With your parents concent but not with all your brothers and sisters being nosey in your relationship... Just a thought. I think I will do something in between dating and courting. What if I am at college and I think I have found the guy, am I going to have him move to my town so we can court with my parents around? I don't think that would work... But am I going to just marry him with out my Parents blessing and aproval? NO!
I don't know maybe I'm really off on this but to me niether of these are not the answer but both together.

Erin Davis

Sammy
on Wednesday, February 9, 2011 at 10:03 am

The Bible doesn't give clear guidance for a specific age difference, and I don't think it's wise that I do either. If you are considering a specific older guy I think you should talk to your parents and seek counsel from some wise Christian friends and adults.

Hope this helps!

Erin

Mim

Re Brandie
on Wednesday, February 9, 2011 at 1:35 pm

I have grown up in a completely Mormon culture and one thing I can say is that Mormonism is totally opposite to the Bible. They add 3 other books on that you need to believe and they have lots of other things that differ from the Bible but the main thing that is really important is that Mormons believe you have to work hard and keep all the rules and be a "good person" to get to heaven. There is nothing about resting and trusting that Jesus died for your sins and He is your only righteousness and that you have no righteousness apart from Jesus' . Mormonism is all about your own righteousness and how hard you must work, not about what Jesus already did for you on the cross.
I would seriously encourage you to not get in a relationship with this guy. But as always pray about it and follow the Lord's lead.

samantha

am i
on Thursday, February 10, 2011 at 9:16 am

I am a christian have been dating a guy who claims to be a christian but we have committed fornication I love this guy but feel guilty about fornication and not being pure as I am a bornagain christian will God forgive me for my actions from Samantha

Guy/Girl Friendships
on Thursday, February 10, 2011 at 11:08 am

What kinds of behaviour is okay for a guy girl friendship? Are they okay, if both people seek to edify one another and build them up in the faith? I know I've had Christian guy friends before, but I'm wondering what the difference is in words and actions between simply being a friend/friendly person and a "silly woman" as Proverbs calls it.

candace

courting
on Thursday, February 10, 2011 at 1:32 pm

I think courting is awesome. Before i got saved i never thought about vourting and people around me never thought about it either. Everyone was to wrapped up in the now and wanted to find some kind of fulfillment and enjoyment. But recently my sister and a guy from our church started to court. It has been such a blessing to see someone live in such purity and holiness to recieve the greater blessings form God. They have set a good example for me and others at my church so when we find someone we feel God has brought to us to marry we can follow in their example and be accountable every step of the way. ;)

Veronica

Re: Samantha
on Thursday, February 10, 2011 at 5:16 pm

You feeling guilty is very good, and you shouldn't ignore your conscience. The Bible does say fornication is a sin, and I can see you know that. God will most definitely forgive you of your actions, Samantha. Jesus died on the cross so your sins could be forgiven! He loves you SO much, more than you can even imagine. 1 John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." Did you catch that word purify? He can wash you clean as new! In God's eyes, you will be pure again. To truly repent, though, means to not, through God's strength, commit that sin again. You need to talk to your boyfriend, make sure he knows what you guys did is wrong, and that you can't do it again. God says we need to keep ourselves pure for marriage, which you can begin today! =) If your boyfriend doesn't agree, and puts up a fuss, you need to break up with him. I know it's hard, I recently went through a breakup myself, but if he doesn't believe the same as you, you are unequally yoked, and he will pull you farther and farther away from God. You can start fresh and new! Recommit your life to the Lord; tell him you want to save yourself for your future husband. It's possible, and wonderful!
May I ask how old you are?

Ji Du Tu

Re:
on Thursday, February 10, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Thanks for writing a post on courting--I was wondering if I would see anything about that here! Both of my sisters went through courtship successfully and are now wonderful wives and i hope to follow in their footsteps--I am always glad to hear about courting, my father was very involved with their relationships and will be with mine. Thanks!

Shanni

Erin
on Thursday, February 10, 2011 at 11:48 pm

Yes! Your "alone together" comment makes sense! Thank you so much for all that you put into this blog. I am sure it is VERY time-consuming!

mormongirl

Courtship and Mormons
on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Caty--

I am a Mormon. I believe in the Divinity of Jesus Christ. I am a full practicing Mormon. Jesus Christ IS the Only Begotten Son of God.
I believe completely in Him. He is my Savior, my Redeemer, my God.

So--

why are you telling these untruths?

I came on here to read about courtship, in which I believe. I know other Mormons who do as well, and I was looking for information, and I saw this.

I think it is very sad that you claim to be an 'expert' on religion in this way and can claim to say who is or who is not a Christian.

I am very sad.

I know Baptist ministers who are not good Christians, and I know Baptists who are VERY good Christians. I am sure there are people of EVERY Christian denomination who are or who are not Christians--

The real name of the church which "Mormons" attend (Mormon is a nickname) is

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Why Saints?

Because we believe that the early Christians in the Bible were . . .

saints--

saints=members of the church--

It's not that complicated. I remember once inviting a Baptist minister to have dinner with my family; his family came. It was meant just to be a social occasion, and he criticized the food my young daughter made. Before she burst into tears, I got him to stop.

Then he told me that I, as a Mormon, didn't know the Bible.

Was he ever surprised when he found out that I not only prayerfully read the Bible every day, I KNOW the Bible.

Ignorance is not pleasing to God.

manaen

Re:
on Friday, February 18, 2011 at 6:46 pm

Re: Caty's supposition that Latter-day Saints aren't Christian, here are a few excerpts from The Book of Mormon that give an authortative answer of our view of Christ:
.
2 Nephi 33:6 I glory in plainness; I glory in truth; I glory in my Jesus, for he hath redeemed my soul from hell.
.
Alma 7:9 But behold, the Spirit hath said this much unto me, saying: Cry unto this people, saying—Repent ye, and prepare the way of the Lord, and walk in his paths, which are straight; for behold, the kingdom of heaven is at hand, and the Son of God cometh upon the face of the earth.
.
Alma 7:10 And behold, he shall be born of Mary, at Jerusalem [citing the nearest major city, Bethlehem is 6 miles away] which is the land of our forefathers, she being a virgin, a precious and chosen vessel, who shall be overshadowed and conceive by the power of the Holy Ghost, and bring forth a son, yea, even the Son of God.
.
Alma 7:11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.
.
Alma 7:12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.
.
Alma 7:13 Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me.
.
Ether 3:14 Behold, I am he who was prepared from the foundation of the world to redeem my people. Behold, I am Jesus Christ. I am the Father and the Son. In me shall all mankind have life, and that eternally, even they who shall believe on my name; and they shall become my sons and my daughters.
.
3 Nephi 9:15 Behold, I am Jesus Christ the Son of God. I created the heavens and the earth, and all things that in them are. I was with the Father from the beginning. I am in the Father, and the Father in me; and in me hath the Father glorified his name.
.
Moroni 7: 38 For no man can be saved, according to the words of Christ, save they shall have faith in his name
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Alma 38:9 […] there is no other way or means whereby man can be saved, only in and through Christ.
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2 Nephi 25:26 And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.
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Moroni 10:18 And I would exhort you, my beloved brethren, that ye remember that every good gift cometh of Christ.
.
Mosiah 16:
13 And now, ought ye not to tremble and repent of your sins, and remember that only in and through Christ ye can be saved?
15 Teach them that redemption cometh through Christ the Lord, who is the very Eternal Father. Amen.
.
Helaman 5: 9 […] remember that there is no other way nor means whereby man can be saved, only through the atoning blood of Jesus Christ,
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Omni 1: 26 […] come unto Christ, who is the Holy One of Israel, and partake of his salvation, and the power of his redemption.
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Mosiah 3:17 […] there shall be no other name given nor any other way nor means whereby salvation can come unto the children of men, only in and through the name of Christ, the Lord Omnipotent.
.
Mormon 9:
5 For behold, when ye shall be brought to see your nakedness before God, and also the glory of God, and the holiness of Jesus Christ, it will kindle a flame of unquenchable fire upon you.
8 Behold I say unto you, he that denieth these things knoweth not the gospel of Christ; yea, he has not read the scriptures; if so, he does not understand them.

Alma 34: 8 […] I do know that Christ shall come among the children of men, to take upon him the transgressions of his people, and that he shall atone for the sins of the world; for the Lord God hath spoken it.
.
Mosiah 5: 8 […] There is no other name given whereby salvation cometh; therefore, I would that ye should take upon you the name of Christ,
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Moroni 7:33 And Christ hath said: If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me.
.
Jacob 4: 11 […] be reconciled unto him through the atonement of Christ, his Only Begotten Son, and ye may obtain a resurrection, according to the power of the resurrection which is in Christ, and be presented as the first-fruits of Christ unto God,
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Mormon 9:36 And behold, these things which we have desired concerning our brethren, yea, even their restoration to the knowledge of Christ, are according to the prayers of all the saints who have dwelt in the land.
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Alma 5: 48 […] I know that Jesus Christ shall come, yea, the Son, the Only Begotten of the Father, full of grace, and mercy, and truth. And behold, it is he that cometh to take away the sins of the world, yea, the sins of every man who steadfastly believeth on his name.
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Jacob 4:12 And now, beloved, marvel not that I tell you these things; for why not speak of the atonement of Christ, and attain to a perfect knowledge of him, as to attain to the knowledge of a resurrection and the world to come?
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Helaman 14:17 But behold, the resurrection of Christ redeemeth mankind, yea, even all mankind, and bringeth them back into the presence of the Lord.
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Moroni 10:6 And whatsoever thing is good is just and true; wherefore, nothing that is good denieth the Christ, but acknowledgeth that he is.
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3 Nephi 20:31 And they shall believe in me, that I am Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and shall pray unto the Father in my name.
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Jacob 1: 7 Wherefore we labored diligently among our people, that we might persuade them to come unto Christ, and partake of the goodness of God, that they might enter into his rest,
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Moroni 4:2 And they did kneel down with the church, and pray to the Father in the name of Christ
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Alma 39: 15 […] concerning the coming of Christ. Behold, I say unto you, that it is he that surely shall come to take away the sins of the world;
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Mosiah 15: 23 They are raised to dwell with God who has redeemed them; thus they have eternal life through Christ, who has broken the bands of death.
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Alma 15:8 And Alma said: If thou believest in the redemption of Christ thou canst be healed.
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Moroni 6:3 And none were received unto baptism save they took upon them the name of Christ, having a determination to serve him to the end.
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Alma 31:34 O Lord, wilt thou grant unto us that we may have success in bringing them again unto thee in Christ.
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Mormon 9:29 See that ye are not baptized unworthily; see that ye partake not of the sacrament of Christ unworthily; but see that ye do all things in worthiness, and do it in the name of Jesus Christ, the Son of the living God; and if ye do this, and endure to the end, ye will in nowise be cast out.
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2 Nephi 33:10 [...] hearken unto these words and believe in Christ; and if ye believe not in these words believe in Christ. And if ye shall believe in Christ ye will believe in these words, for they are the words of Christ, and he hath given them unto me; and they teach all men that they should do good.
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2 Nephi 33:11 And if they are not the words of Christ, judge ye—for Christ will show unto you, with power and great glory, that they are his words, at the last day; and you and I shall stand face to face before his bar; and ye shall know that I have been commanded of him to write these things, notwithstanding my weakness.
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Moroni 1:3 And I, Moroni, will not deny the Christ; wherefore, I wander whithersoever I can for the safety of mine own life.
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3 Nephi 10:15 Behold, I say unto you, Yea, many have testified of these things at the coming of Christ, and were slain because they testified of these things.
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Mormon 5:
16 For behold, the Spirit of the Lord hath already ceased to strive with their fathers; and they are without Christ and God in the world; and they are driven about as chaff before the wind.
17 They were once a delightsome people, and they had Christ for their shepherd; yea, they were led even by God the Father.
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Alma 34:6 And ye also beheld that my brother has proved unto you, in many instances, that the word is in Christ unto salvation.
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Mormon 9:37 And may the Lord Jesus Christ grant that their prayers may be answered according to their faith; and may God the Father remember the covenant which he hath made with the house of Israel; and may he bless them forever, through faith on the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
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3 Nephi 29:5 Wo unto him that spurneth at the doings of the Lord; yea, wo unto him that shall deny the Christ and his works!
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Alma 21:9 Now Aaron began to open the scriptures unto them concerning the coming of Christ, and also concerning the resurrection of the dead, and that there could be no redemption for mankind save it were through the death and sufferings of Christ, and the atonement of his blood.
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Helaman 3: 28 Yea, thus we see that the gate of heaven is open unto all, even to those who will believe on the name of Jesus Christ, who is the Son of God.
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Moroni 7:22 For behold, God knowing all things, being from everlasting to everlasting, behold, he sent angels to minister unto the children of men, to make manifest concerning the coming of Christ; and in Christ there should come every good thing.
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Mosiah 16:
6 And now if Christ had not come into the world, speaking of things to come as though they had already come, there could have been no redemption.
7 And if Christ had not risen from the dead, or have broken the bands of death that the grave should have no victory, and that death should have no sting, there could have been no resurrection.
8 But there is a resurrection, therefore the grave hath no victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ.
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Moroni 7:19 Wherefore, I beseech of you, brethren, that ye should search diligently in the light of Christ that ye may know good from evil; and if ye will lay hold upon every good thing, and condemn it not, ye certainly will be a child of Christ.
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Alma 37:33 Preach unto them repentance, and faith on the Lord Jesus Christ; teach them to humble themselves and to be meek and lowly in heart; teach them to withstand every temptation of the devil, with their faith on the Lord Jesus Christ.
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Jacob 6:8 Behold, will ye reject these words? Will ye reject the words of the prophets; and will ye reject all the words which have been spoken concerning Christ, after so many have spoken concerning him; and deny the good word of Christ, and the power of God, and the gift of the Holy Ghost, and quench the Holy Spirit, and make a mock of the great plan of redemption, which hath been laid for you?
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Jacob 6:9 Know ye not that if ye will do these things, that the power of the redemption and the resurrection, which is in Christ, will bring you to stand with shame and awful guilt before the bar of God?
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Moroni 6:4 And after they had been received unto baptism, and were wrought upon and cleansed by the power of the Holy Ghost, they were numbered among the people of the church of Christ; and their names were taken, that they might be remembered and nourished by the good word of God, to keep them in the right way, to keep them continually watchful unto prayer, relying alone upon the merits of Christ, who was the author and the finisher of their faith.
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Alma 11:42 Now, there is a death which is called a temporal death; and the death of Christ shall loose the bands of this temporal death, that all shall be raised from this temporal death.
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Ether 4:8 And he that will contend against the word of the Lord, let him be accursed; and he that shall deny these things, let him be accursed; for unto them will I show no greater things, saith Jesus Christ; for I am he who speaketh.

3 Nephi 28:23 And it came to pass that thus they did go forth among all the people of Nephi, and did preach the gospel of Christ unto all people upon the face of the land; and they were converted unto the Lord, and were united unto the church of Christ, and thus the people of that generation were blessed, according to the word of Jesus.
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Moroni 7:25 Wherefore, by the ministering of angels, and by every word which proceeded forth out of the mouth of God, men began to exercise faith in Christ; and thus by faith, they did lay hold upon every good thing; and thus it was until the coming of Christ.
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Mormon 3:22 And I would that I could persuade all ye ends of the earth to repent and prepare to stand before the judgment-seat of Christ.
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2 Nephi 33:7 I have charity for my people, and great faith in Christ that I shall meet many souls spotless at his judgment-seat.
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Moroni 9:25 My son, be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever.
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Alma 27:28 [...] and they never did look upon death with any degree of terror, for their hope and views of Christ and the resurrection; therefore, death was swallowed up to them by the victory of Christ over it.
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2 Nephi 31:20 Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.
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Moroni 3:
2 After they had prayed unto the Father in the name of Christ, they laid their hands upon them, and said:
3 In the name of Jesus Christ I ordain you to be a priest (or if he be a teacher, I ordain you to be a teacher) to preach repentance and remission of sins through Jesus Christ, by the endurance of faith on his name to the end. Amen.
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Mosiah 4: 2 […] O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who created heaven and earth, and all things; who shall come down among the children of men.
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Alma 4:14 […] thus retaining a remission of their sins; being filled with great joy because of the resurrection of the dead, according to the will and power and deliverance of Jesus Christ from the bands of death.
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Mormon 9:
1 And now, I speak also concerning those who do not believe in Christ.
2 Behold, will ye believe in the day of your visitation—behold, when the Lord shall come, yea, even that great day when the earth shall be rolled together as a scroll, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, yea, in that great day when ye shall be brought to stand before the Lamb of God—then will ye say that there is no God?
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3 Nephi 11:25 Having authority given me of Jesus Christ, I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.
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Moroni 7:23 And God also declared unto prophets, by his own mouth, that Christ should come.
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Mormon 8:35 Behold, I speak unto you as if ye were present, and yet ye are not. But behold, Jesus Christ hath shown you unto me, and I know your doing.
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Alma 22:13 […] the plan of redemption, which was prepared from the foundation of the world, through Christ, for all whosoever would believe on his name.
14 And since man had fallen he could not merit anything of himself; but the sufferings and death of Christ atone for their sins,
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2 Nephi 11:6 And my soul delighteth in proving unto my people that save Christ should come all men must perish.
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Mormon 5:14 [...] that they may be persuaded that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God; that the Father may bring about, through his most Beloved, his great and eternal purpose [...]
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Alma 46:39
And it came to pass that there were many who died, firmly believing that their souls were redeemed by the Lord Jesus Christ; thus they went out of the world rejoicing.
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3 Nephi 28:40
And in this state they were to remain until the judgment day of Christ; and at that day they were to receive a greater change, and to be received into the kingdom of the Father to go no more out, but to dwell with God eternally in the heavens.
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Helaman 14:12
And also that ye might know of the coming of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Father of heaven and of earth, the Creator of all things from the beginning; and that ye might know of the signs of his coming, to the intent that ye might believe on his name.
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Moroni 2:3
Now Christ spake these words unto them at the time of his first appearing; and the multitude heard it not, but the disciples heard it; and on as many as they laid their hands, fell the Holy Ghost.
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3 Nephi 5:13
Behold, I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. I have been called of him to declare his word among his people, that they might have everlasting life.
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Words of Mormon 1:8
And my prayer to God is concerning my brethren, that they may once again come to the knowledge of God, yea, the redemption of Christ; that they may once again be a delightsome people.
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2 Nephi 26:1
And after Christ shall have risen from the dead he shall show himself unto you, my children, and my beloved brethren; and the words which he shall speak unto you shall be the law which ye shall do.
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Alma 15:10
And then Alma cried unto the Lord, saying: O Lord our God, have mercy on this man, and heal him according to his faith which is in Christ.
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Ether 12:22
And it is by faith that my fathers have obtained the promise that these things should come unto their brethren through the Gentiles; therefore the Lord hath commanded me, yea, even Jesus Christ.
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3 Nephi 7:16
Therefore, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts and the blindness of their minds—went forth among them in that same year, and began to testify, boldly, repentance and remission of sins through faith on the Lord Jesus Christ.
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Helaman 16:4
For behold, Nephi was baptizing, and prophesying, and preaching, crying repentance unto the people, showing signs and wonders, working miracles among the people, that they might know that the Christ must shortly come—
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4 Nephi 1:36
And it came to pass that in this year there arose a people who were called the Nephites, and they were true believers in Christ
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2 Nephi 32:6
Behold, this is the doctrine of Christ, and there will be no more doctrine given until after he shall manifest himself unto you in the flesh. And when he shall manifest himself unto you in the flesh, the things which he shall say unto you shall ye observe to do.
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3 Nephi 28:31
Therefore, great and marvelous works shall be wrought by them, before the great and coming day when all people must surely stand before the judgment-seat of Christ;
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Moroni 10:30
And again I would exhort you that ye would come unto Christ, and lay hold upon every good gift, and touch not the evil gift, nor the unclean thing.
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Moroni 10:33 And again, if ye by the grace of God are perfect in Christ, and deny not his power, then are ye sanctified in Christ, by the grace of God, through the shedding of the blood of Christ, which is in the covenant of the Father unto the remission of your sins, that ye become holy, without spot.
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Title Page
[…] Written by way of commandment, and also by way of prophecy and of revelation […]Which is to show unto the remnant of the House of Israel what great things the Lord hath done for their fathers; and that they may know the covenants of the Lord, that they are not cast off forever – And also to the convincing of the Jew and Gentile that JESUS is the CHRIST, the ETERNAL GOD, manifesting himself unto all nations.
[capitalization in original]
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Moroni 10:
4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.
5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

Erin Davis

Samantha
on Tuesday, February 22, 2011 at 8:50 am

Yes! God will forgive you.

1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

ALL unrighteousness. Not everything but your sexual sin. No! All sin.

But then the hard work begins. You cannot continue to sin without consequences.

1 John 3:6 say,s "No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him."

Ask God to forgive you and then repent. Meaning make a plan not to sin again. This will probably mean ending your relationship which will be painful, but not as painful as continuing down the path of sin.

Is there anything we can do to help you along the way?

Erin

HannahGirl<3

i don't know where i stand
on Sunday, April 10, 2011 at 3:38 pm

so my parents say that i'm not aloud to date... i'm only aloud to court. i don't get it... what's the differance?

Heather (Svan)

@Hannah
on Sunday, May 1, 2011 at 12:56 am

@Hannah: I think your question got forgotten along the line somewhere, and I'm assuming that since you haven't come back to ask for an update, that probably means you've forgotten, too. lol But I thought I'd answer you, anyway.

It's probably a good idea to ask your parents what their definitions of dating and courting are, since they are the ones who made that rule! But they probably mean that you're not allowed to date around, but that you're only to date guys who you could possibly marry.

HannahGirl<3

THANK YOU HEATHER!! lol :)
on Friday, May 6, 2011 at 8:38 am

hey heather... you're right. heehee i did think that my post was lost alomg the way... yuor post helped me though... i appreciate your advice. i have actually jst tlked to my parents about it and now i have afficial rules about dating/courting. the have given the go ahead to my dating a really great godly guy in my youth group as long as it is with a group and we are not aloud to have any PDA (public display of affection). anyway.. whcha think? keep the avice coming girl and thank oyu again... that meant alot. lol =)

lucky13

Re:
on Sunday, May 8, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Yes, Samantha (and anyone else in this particular predicament) - God WILL forgive you! But you need to take certain steps to seek His forgiveness. Here are some steps I find helpful:
1) Recognize your sin. Say, “God, I am a sinner. I have wronged you by [committing fornication], and I realize how great an offense to my Savior this is.”
2) Confess. Say, “Jesus, I have sinned against you. I have broken your law. I have not [kept away from sexually immoral acts, and have acted upon lust and gone too far].”
3) Repent. Say, “Lord, I don’t want to live with this burden of guilt. I don’t want to [commit fornication/adultery]. I hate my sin.”
4) Have Faith! “You are merciful a God, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love, full of forgiveness. Thank you for the cross which has placed my sin upon your Son so that I might have His righteousness.”
5) Plead for Grace. Say, “Please forgive me for [my fornication and lack of self-control and abandonment of you & your laws]. Help me to [turn away from lust and toward a lifestyle of purity].”
6) Obey by not returning to fornication in the future.
And you don’t have to take my word for it. Go to God’s Word and look up these verses:
• 2 Chron. 7:14
• Psalm 25:16-17
• Psalm 31:1,34 (Romans 4:7 quotes this)
• Psalm 32:5
• Psalm 85:2
• Psalm 103:12
• Isaiah 1:18
• Acts 10:43
• Col. 2:13-14
• 1 John 1:9
See? God is faithful and just to forgive us.
But your walk with Christ doesn’t end there. After you are forgiven, you are called to forgive others as you have been forgiven (Col. 3:13). Cast off the burdens of your flesh and follow Him!
Friend, I cannot identify with the pain, hurt, shame, or whatever else you’re feeling now. But take hope – God has the power to HEAL.
Talk to someone. Pray. I’ll certainly be praying for YOU!
P.S. - May I recommendyou read: And the Bride Wore White by Dannah Gresh?
Blessings!

Bethany

Spirit-led relationship
on Thursday, May 19, 2011 at 9:03 am

Dear girls, I haven't ever posted here before, but I happened to see this post and I jut wanted to give y'all a little encouragement. I'm 23 years old and last year I married the man of my dreams! Now a year and a half later I am mommy to a precious little boy. When I was young my parents heard about courtship. I always thought it was a neat idea, but I still struggled with my thoughts and desires for a relationship and marriage. As a teenager I thought marriage would solve all my problems. But through many different circumstances God taught me that He loved me more than anyone ever could and to find fulfillment in Him. I learned to make my family my best friends. And by the time I was 20 I didn't feel the burning need for a husband anymore. But God was gracious and brought Prince Charming into my life at that time. When it came time to put courtship into practice we decided we not to call it courtship but a friendship and Spirit-led relationship. We were serious about seeing if God would have us to be married. Once we came to a place that we knew it was right. We became engaged. That took about 10 months. Then we were married after 7 months of engagement. Before being engaged we never touched each other, and I'm so grateful, because it allowed us to become best friends without the distraction of a physical relationship. If this is what you want it's important that the guy wants it too or loves you you enough to respect that. After we were engaged we held hands and gave each other side hugs when we said hello and goodbye and he would put his arm around my shoulders when we sat next to each other (but never my waist). By God's grace we saved our first kiss for our wedding day, and it was so sweet. By saving your physical purity, you are not loosing anything, but gaining a priceless gift. Our relationship now is so much sweeter now because of it. J can truly say that my husband is my best friend (besides Jesus). I don't think the important issue is whether you call it dating or courting (by the way we did go on "dates" alone after we were engaged, but only to public places and we made a commitment not to touch each other in the car). The important thing is that you follow God Spirit and the principles laid out in His word. There is no "right" formula or step by step process because each of us is unique and God has written a perfect love story that fits our personality and tastes just right. Hang in there! It will happen! In the meantime, fall in love with Jesus! If you cant be happy without a husband (boyfriend) you won't be truly happy with one.
In Christ Alone,
Bethany :)

P.S. I know this is already long, but I just want to recommend the book "Before You Meet Prince Charming" by Sarah Mally. It's the book that really turned my life around when I was 19.

Sierra Rose

Re:
on Thursday, September 29, 2011 at 9:19 pm

Hello :)
So I really like this guy, and he is literally everything that I have ever wanted! He is sweet, sensitive, hilarious, and he is a true Christian. The only problem is, I have no idea how to talk to him! And every time I find myself thinking about him or daydreaming about him, I feel like I'm doing something wrong, even though I feel like he is a great, Godly guy. What should I do?

Sarah, with the LYWB team

Sierra Rose
on Friday, September 30, 2011 at 7:26 pm

You are not doing anything wrong if you keep your thoughts pure. It is natural to like boys...and when we like something we think about it! So keep your mind on his godly characteristics, pray for him and yourself that you both will find God's will and direction in your lives, and ask the Lord to bless him because of the godly witness of his life. Talking to God about something always makes it right!

P. S. A good conversation skill...always center on the other person. Talk about them, not yourself. To start a conversation, talk about what is going in the moment around you, what they like, etc. Talk as a friend--with no ulterior motive.

Melissa

Mormons and Christians
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 12:19 pm

I must address your response regarding Mormons and Christians. My entire family on my dad's side are very devout Christians, specifically, Pentecostal. I am a Mormon. My dad was very concerned by my being a Mormon and was afraid I was going to hell. Over time, however, he has come to realize that Mormons ARE Christians: they DO believe that Jesus Christ is the only begotton Son of God, and we worship him as our Savior and Redeemer. We believe that without his Atoning Sacrifice for us, we couldn't be saved. The official name of the church is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints--not Mormon. The name of Christ would not be part of our identity if we did not believe in him, so please, please stop referring to us as non-Christians. If all Christians believed exactly the same way, there would not be the myriad of denominations out there. It is true that we differ in some of our beliefs, but all Christian denominations differ in some way. Instead of focusing on our differences, I think it would better serve God and Christ for us to unite in the Christian cause: to preserve a belief system that encourages faith, Christ-like love, and moral purity. The morality of the world is decaying, and Mormons are ready to stand with their Christian brothers and sisters to prevent that from happening. Please don't confuse us with the real enemy.

Sarah, with the LYWB team

Mormons and Christians
on Thursday, December 8, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Melissa,

We understand your desire for Mormons to be accepted among those of biblical Christianity and for all to work together for the good of our world. Mormons are indeed strong, moral people.

Augustine reminds us, “In the essentials, let there be unity. In the non-essentials, let there be liberty. And in all things, let there be charity.”

The points of unity, the essentials, would need to be:

*the deity of Christ—that He not only is the only begotten Son of God, but that He is God (John 1:1)

*Jesus Christ is eternal, without beginning or end, He is God as the Second Person of the Trinity

*the virgin birth—the Holy Spirit came upon Mary and she conceived (Matt. 1:18)

*salvation is through faith alone (Eph. 2:8-9)

* the Bible is the inspired, unique, final, inerrant Word of God (2 Timothy 3:16; 2 Peter 1:21)

"In the essentials let there be unity. In the non-essentials, let there be liberty. And in all things, let there be charity.”

Blessings to you.

Steph

Bethany
on Sunday, April 29, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Bethany, I really appreciate your encouragement! :) I love God works in amazing ways.

I'm close to going to college, but I find it sometimes hard to think if God will provide a man for me to marry. But I know definitely His timing is ALWAYS perfect. I know God loves me SO much that He cares about me knowing Him first. I don't like being anxious about wanting to date a guy. Recently one of our youth leaders talked about marriage and how marriage is nothing like a Disney fairy tale and I think all women desire that kind of love from men. But we all know not everyone is perfect. Only God is and we need to pursue Him first above all else and He'll take care of us and fullfill our desires!

I really appreciate your encouragement. Your encouragement reminds me of Psalm 37:4! :) I'm also interested in reading the book you mentioned along with "Set Apart Feminity" (I can't remember word for word what the title is) by Lesile (I'm blanking out on her last name but I know it starts with an 'L').

Thank you!
Steph

P.S. I've been waiting and still am waiting for the right guy God has in mind, but right now, I'm focused on striving to continue to know God more! :)

Talia

Courting all the way!
on Thursday, May 17, 2012 at 11:52 am

Thank you so much for posting this! I have personally chosen to court and to save ny first kiss for marriage. Thanks for posting the differences/similarities of purity and courtship!

Stephanie

courtship and mom
on Friday, June 22, 2012 at 1:59 pm

I'm 16 and the guy I like is 17, but we've known each other since 7th grade and liked each other since then. We "dated" without my mom knowing back then but now since we are older and both looking for a relationship that will last for marriage and after, we want to date. My mom is a Christian and so am I and him as well. He talked to my mom about us dating and she said no. She believes in courtship but its not that much of a difference of what dating is and we love being together and he doesnt mind my mom being around so its perfect. We really want to be togther but my mom is the only one in the way of us being together. I'm an only child he isn't.
Is there anything I can do or say to convince my mom that we should be together and that we love each other and want a future together? We really love each other.
SC<3RB

Carrie, with the LYWB team

Re: courtship and mom
on Monday, June 25, 2012 at 10:53 am

Your friend did the right thing in talking to your mom about the possibility of beginning a relationship with you, Stephanie. God works through those He has placed in positions of leadership over us (parents, husbands, churches, governments) and He always honors our willingness to remain under the leadership/authority of those He has placed over us.

You don’t have to worry about changing your mom’s heart, Stephanie; if it’s His desire, God is more than able to do that in His timing (Prov. 21:1).

The best questions you and your friend can focus on now will be centered on what God wants to teach you both through this process. God never, never, never wastes anything in our lives, friend, and He will never withhold that which is best for us. But His timing and His ways are often very different than ours (Is. 55:8).

Here are some questions for you to consider.

• Since God wants us to be right with Him and with others, would you be willing to confess/repent of “dating” behind your mom’s back – first to God and then to your mom? Scripture calls this having a clear conscience (Acts 24:16; 1 Tim. 3:9; 2 Tim. 1:3; Heb. 13:18).
• Are you willing to honor God by honoring your mom in the process of trusting God to give direction for your future mate? Would you be willing to tell your mom that and to ask her if you could pray together weekly for your future husband?
• Could you sit down one evening this week and talk to your mom about her expectations regarding courtship. What does that look like specifically?

Know I’m praying for you, your friend and your mom today, Stephanie!

emaybe

Re:
on Monday, January 7, 2013 at 3:27 pm

I don't waanna date but I keep getting advances which are quite usuAl for teenagers, firstly, how do I politely wade them oFf without being rude or somewhat stupid.
Secondly, there is this guy, I know he wants marriage but I am not ready to date not to talk of marry. What irkes me about him is he keeps asking me to come over and spend the weekend. He is a christian though. I like his intelligence and I respect him as I should do to anyone, nothing much but I don't know why I keep thinking stupids thoughts of him and me.
What can I do in this situation?.

Lorree, with the LYWB team

@emaybe
on Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 6:23 pm

Guys really want to know the bottom line, Emaybe. You can politely tell them that you appreciate their interest but have decided that now is not the time for you to be dating.

If a guy wants you to come spend the weekend with him, he is not looking out for your best interest and is not following God’s plan for marriage. God wants a man to protect a woman rather than use a woman to satisfy his desires. Wait for a man who will put your needs above his own, my friend. Take a look at this blog:
What Kind of a Guy Should You Date?: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=1848

I encourage you to use the wisdom shared there as a grid for evaluating the men who may make offers to you. I’m praying for you, Emaybe, and asking God to give you wisdom and discernment in regards to this guy.

Khamis Alfred

Difference between dating and courtship
on Tuesday, April 30, 2013 at 2:33 am

Dear friends according to my understanding both dating and courtship happen before marriage. Dating is that first step you take in relationship when you admire a girl and you begin to persue her by becoming her friend and approaching her for relationship, whereby either both of you or you alone tries to impress her inorder to convince her to admire you and fall in love with you. This stage includes offering pleasantry, expressing your love for her and enjoying time together but not involving sex etc. While dating comes when both you are both convinced beyond doubt that you know no longer want to see each other apart then you propose to the girl and she accept your proposal to marry her. This is when you have that confidence, trust and faith in one another, and you say goodbye to dating anymore. you concentrate all your time and attention in being a good spouse to each other and begin to prepare for your wedding together. This is how I personally define the difference between dating and courtship. Men usually opt for that stage of courtship and a man keep doubting the relationship until that moment a girl wisper that single one common word "yes" this word although simple to a man it counts all his struggle and it releaves him like he has entered the paradise. Yet a woman's mind keeps running with options until that day she walks down the aisle.

Khamis Alfred

Difference between dating and courtship
on Tuesday, April 30, 2013 at 2:41 am

Dear friends according to my understanding both dating and courtship happen before marriage. Dating is that first step you take in relationship when you admire a girl and you begin to persue her by becoming her friend and approaching her for relationship, whereby either both of you or you alone tries to impress her inorder to convince her to admire you and fall in love with you. This stage includes offering pleasantry, expressing your love for her and enjoying time together but not involving sex etc. While courtship comes when both you are both convinced beyond doubt that you know no longer want to see each other apart then you propose to the girl and she accept your proposal to marry her. This is when you have that confidence, trust and faith in one another, and you say goodbye to dating anymore. you concentrate all your time and attention in being a good spouse to each other and begin to prepare for your wedding together. This is how I personally define the difference between dating and courtship. Men usually opt for that stage of courtship and a man keep doubting the relationship until that moment a girl wisper that single one common word "yes" this word although simple to a man it counts all his struggle and it releaves him like he has entered the paradise. Yet a woman's mind keeps running with options until that day she walks down the aisle.

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What's the Difference Between Courtship and Dating?

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