The Story of One Reader's Healing (Inside and Out)

Erin Davis 05/02/11 | Twitter: @ErinGraffiti
Category: God ; 38 comments

More than a year ago, Ruby left us a comment about wrestling with faith. That's nothing new. We get comments like hers pretty often. But Ruby's story had a twist that most readers will never know—cancer.

When she first wrote to us, Ruby was a teenager fighting cancer without a relationship with Jesus. But that's just the beginning of her story. In fact, Ruby's story is one of the reasons we keep writing away on this blog. God used this site to heal her in more ways than one. God used you to speak to her heart in a huge way.

It's a great story with a happy ending. That's why I couldn't wait to pass it on to you.

Erin: How/When did you find out you had cancer?

Ruby: I was diagnosed with cancer (Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia) a little more than two years ago. It would have been somewhere between Thanksgiving and Christmas of ‘08. I was 14. I had woken up to go to school like I would normally do. I remember being extremely weak and could hardly move. I told my mom that I wasn't feeling good, but she didn't believe me because I played that trick too many times in order to get out of school. I went to school and collapsed an hour after I got there and woke up in the hospital. My dad was there, which I thought was very odd since he never would have come unless something serious was going on. They did a bunch of tests, and I mean numbers of tests. They told me that I had Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, and that it needed to be treated right away. 

Erin: What did you feel at first?

Ruby: I felt this immediate fear of what would happen. I had no hope in God simply because I didn't know Him. I had nothing to hold onto. I felt as if I was falling into a position that I couldn't control. I was hopeless and helpless.

Erin: What was your personal relationship with God like at the time of your diagnosis?

Ruby: I was not a believer at the time, and I just remember wanting to run away. My solution to everything at that time was to run and never look back, but it never really worked. My parents were not believers at this time either. But my older sister was a very strong godly young lady, and she told me that God had a plan and He would carry out His will even if I tried to run away from Him. 

Erin: When you came to the blog, you were very angry at God. Can you describe that season of your life?

Ruby: It was from that moment on that for two years my sister told me over and over of who God was. I finally looked at things and got angry and blamed God for my life. I hated me. I hated God. I hated life. I told God that if He was just gonna kill me, then why did He give me life in the first place? I became suicidal. I tried to kill myself every day for a year and a half. Over and over I cut and I bled and I tried to take away something God had given to me. I wanted to just die and forget my problems. I was sick of tests and chemo and all that stuff. But what got to me the most were these nightmares that I would have every night. I couldn't close my eyes without dreaming of what I think was Satan. I'm not saying I saw Satan. But I certainly dreamed of what Satan could look like and what he would do. I dreamed of what I imagined hell to be. I was lost in a dark mind. It sounds funny to me now, but I hated God because I thought He purposely gave me those dreams. I thought He was torturing me. But now I see He had a plan.

Erin: What caused your heart to change?

Ruby: I would have to say that there isn't just one reason as to why my heart changed. But maybe you might be able to understand if I just tell you what happened. So I had a godly sister. She asked me to check this site out. She said it might be helpful. And you've probably guessed which site. I got on the Internet and looked up I pressed enter, and I waited. I wanted answers and thought that maybe my sister was right and maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was believing a lie.

So I'm looking, and I'm not sure what blog post it was but sometime in June of 2010, I read a post on God. I remember being so confused and lost, and I read all these comments from girls who knew, or I'm assuming they knew, who God was. They actually acted as if God was real.

So I read it over and over and then did something silly. I commented, and in my heart I think I was crying out to God. I wanted to know God. Reading that post made me realize I was missing something so precious, and I knew I needed it. Someone commented after me and shared a YouTube video about someone else who was dying of leukemia. We were the same. Only they had hope and all I had was a feeling of insecurity and a sense of being lost.

That very night I was crying tears of bitterness. My sister came up to me, and this part I still don't understand. She did the snap-out-of-it move and slapped me, and later on she told me that she wanted me to stop living a life of pity on myself. And she was right. That very night I became a child of the most high and amazing God. That night I had an amazing dream where I was surrounded by a beautiful scene. I still remember it. It was so amazing that I thought I was in heaven. I never saw the man in my dream, but I just had this sense that He was Jesus and He told me that He had plans for me and that He would spread His love through me. I woke up and started to live my life for Christ.

Erin: What has God taught you through this trial?

Ruby: God has taught me many things through this trial. But I learn more and more that it wasn't a trial. It was a blessing. After all, I believe that our greatest moments are when we feel a sense of hopelessness and cling on to God with all our might. I believe that it is really in our trials that we realize God is everything. I believe that trials are blessings in disguise. What makes it a trial is our reaction to what God helps us through.

Erin: What is your prognosis now?

Ruby: My prognosis now is I'm free. I am free. Yes there is a chance that it could come back some day, but I'm fully aware of this and I am waiting for death. I'm not looking for it. But I am certainly waiting for it. When it comes, I'll be smiling and I will welcome it. I will receive what God calls me to receive and believe that through the door of physical death is eternal life because Christ died for me.

Erin: How is God using cancer for your good?

Ruby: God is using my cancer to make others see how short life can be. Many girls my age have recommitted their life to Christ. 

Erin: What do you most want other young women to know?

Ruby: I want people to know that Jesus is Lord and He is worthy of the glory He receives. I want people to lose their life for Christ in order to gain eternal life.

Cool, huh? God used you to teach Ruby about Him. How is He using Ruby's story to challenge you?




HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

    Praise God!
    on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 1:55 am
    I just have to praise the Lord for what He has done in Ruby's life! He is so good-- so better than we could ever imagine!

    Ruby, your story is immensely powerful. I am awestruck by what God has brought you through, and I am so thankful to hear that He is Lord of your life now! I can't imagine the suffering you have endured, but thank you for sharing your story with us. Your life and your peace are proof of the hope that comes only through Jesus Christ. Hearing how He has worked in your heart and life has been such an encouragement to me. It is so wonderful that now He is using you to speak the Truth!
    on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 3:56 am
    And God used Ruby to teach me about Him. I needed a reminder right now, and I got one. When things are tough..."fter all, I believe that our greatest moments are when we feel a sense of hopelessness and cling on to God with all our might. I believe that it is really in our trials that we realize God is everything. I believe that trials are blessings in disguise. What makes it a trial is our reaction to what God helps us through."

    I really needed it, right now. So thankyou.
    on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 8:05 am
    Wow, that was an amazing story!!! It encouraged me to think of my trials as blessings not times where God is making us suffer...Thanks!!!
    on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 8:39 am
    Erin and Ruby-thank you for that post! It is amazing what God will do an how he will bring people to Him.Thanks again,your story was amazing!!!
    on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 9:00 am
    This was awesome! Wow!!!!!!!!!!!
    on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 9:02 am
    That was truly inspirational! Thank you for sharing that!
    Re: Ruby's story!
    on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 10:33 am
    Ohmygosh RUBY!!! Your story is AMAZING!! I went and found the post that you'd left your comments on in June of 2010 and I read them and it was just amazing to read about you getting saved and the dream you had and stuff! Wow!! I am so happy you got saved!!! :D

    And how you said about your sister telling you to stop living a life of self-pity... I should probably work on that myself. I don't really know how to, tho, exactly...

    Anyway, your story was AMAZING and I'm so glad you shared it! Once again, I am so so SOOO happy you got saved! :D

    on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 11:00 am
    Ruby, Though I have never had cancer I have had some health problems lately. I love how you said your having cancer was like a blessing in disguise. When I was having the problems I felt this peace about everything. I knew it was God's plan for my life and I knew He loved me. That's all I needed. I felt so calm and I couldn't explain it. I was nervous, but not as scared as I thought I would be. Suddenly, nothing mattered but God. I realized that He was the only thing that could never be taken from me. While my parents wished they could take away all my pain, I didn't. I didn't like my pain but God was using it to teach me so many things that I was to hard headed to learn otherwise. Thank you for everything you said on this blog. While what I had was nowhere near how bad cancer is I can understand what you mean about suffering being a blessing in disguise. Thank you so much!
    on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 11:12 am
    Hey Ruby! God has done amazing things in your life. Thanks for sharing your heart with us! Be encouraged to stay strong in Christ even as life goes on :)
    on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 12:17 pm
    it challenges me not to be bitter... something I struggle with often. I watched "Soul Surfer" recently, it is in theaters right now. It deff changed my perspective about right now in my life and what I have been through. I have had an 'easy' life if most people would look at my life... but I have also been through some really hard things that most people don't go through. and sometimes I let the bitterness get to me - often times I do. But I can either let it tear me down, or I can stand back up, and fight for God's victory. God is currently teaching me that. And it starts when I wake up - will I choose bitterness, or the victory that is already won?
    on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 1:48 pm
    Hey thanks so much for this post:) I have recently been going through some doubt. I ask God this morning to show me His love and grace. And look what happens! An awsome blog about God's amazing grace,and perfection. Thank you so much for this story you have no idea how much it has blessed me:)
    on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 2:12 pm
    Oh my gosh... I just... this story is so amazing I can't even put it into words! I mean wow this is so amazing!!! Thanks so much Erin for posting this and thanks so much Ruby for sharing it! :D
    on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 5:17 pm
    Wow! This reallly just........ wow. I can't even explain my thoughts. That's so amazing!! :D
    Sarah lizz
    The God's Awesomeness of blessings in disguise!
    on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 6:24 pm
    Ruby, your story has made me ball my eyes out!!! Not in a sad way, but in a REJOYCE IN THE LORD!!!- way. I would like to share my story with you of a trial that brought great joy to me.
    I don't have cancer, but I do have Juvinille Diabetes (JD). When I was diagnosed at the age of 11 (I am now a junior in hs), I was just confused. My biggest fear is needles and now God gave me the one disease where I had to give myself shots! WHY?? Well, that spring I got a pamphlet about Diabetes camp in the mail. I went that summer and had a great time and made new friends who were just like me, but one was especially special. My best friend who will be called Amy. She was not a Christian and her mom who had cancer was expected to live for two more years. After camp the rest of that year was awful! My house caught on fire and four people in my family died, but the next year I went back to camp. Amy and I were connected at the hip! Well, two days into camp, she left in tears. I prayed for her the next 2 days while she was gone. When she came back the 4th night of camp and when we were all supposed to be asleep, she just kept crying and crying. I didn't know what to do, so I grabbed my flashlight and Bible from my bag and went over. For the longest time I just held her in my arms and let her soak my shirt until she couldn't cry any more. Then I asked what had happened. Her mom had been rushed to the hospital and the doctors gave her only 3 MONTHS TO LIVE! I didn't know what to do, so I opened my Bible to John 3:16 and showed her that no matter what God loves her. Through that and 2 years of prayer, God opened her eyes to His awesome gift of life! The first day of camp, my fourth year of being JD, "Amy" ran to me screaming "I'm a Christian, Sarah!!! God loves me!" That was the most amazing thing that could have ever happened through being Diabetic. God is so AWESOME in his crazy love for us. He knows what He is doing!! =D Give praise to Him!! Thank you again for sharig the amazing story of your salvation!!!! I am so happy that I will see you in Heavan one day!
    on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 9:28 pm
    Thank you so much for telling us Ruby's story, it's really profound. I've never had any major health issues, but I've known people who have. My baby cousin was born with multiple problems, I've mentioned her a few times on this website. She wasn't expected to live, but amazingly enough, she is living, and she's doing so much better. She's living at home, and she's talking, she's like a normal toddler now, almost. I just think that it's so amazing how God changes peoples lives around for the better.
    Heather (Svan)
    on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 9:29 pm
    That's a wonderful story. I'm happy for you =)
    Gods Jewel
    on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 9:46 pm
    Wow amazing story...I thank God that you came to him in time. There is a song I want you to listen to. Its a song Keith Green wrote. He was a christian singer, but he died in a plane crash a couple yrs ago. He wasn't a christian all is life. Here it is! <> It mayhave been you before you knew christ!
    Re: all you wonderful girls/young women
    on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 10:51 pm
    I just want you all to know that I had nothing to do with the healing of my body. I'm not some kind of amazing person. I'm a sinner just like you. I'm a dirty sinner. But I'm a sinner that has been forgiven.

    Unlike me, my close friend took things wrong and thought that if she began to do good things then she too would be healed of physical problems within in her body. But this is not how it goes. Good works don't free us of marks made by sin. God frees us and cleans us and makes us his own.

    I just want you all to look to God. Some of you mentioned that you too are going through trials but don't get the wrong picture. Don't look to the miracle to save you. Look to Jesus who gives the miracle of life. Repent. Cast your burden on HIS HOLY shoulders and walk free. Walk knowing that God loves you. Know that he cares.

    This might sound crazy coming from an almost 17 year old high school girl. But you're not alone. I know I felt alone when I did not have Jesus but when he grabbed a hold of me I was safe. I was in his arms. They hold me and give me peace. An everlasting peace. So know, that you're not alone. I'm praying for each of you. I may not know you but God knows you and I can rest assure that God knows what you are going through and that He knows my prayers. If God can create you and me and this universe from nothing with only a few words then I know he can answer my prayers for you.

    Re: anon
    on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 11:01 pm
    Dear Anon.

    I'm assuming that anon stands for anonymous and that anon isn't your name but

    Dear Anon,

    I read your comment and was reminded of how I didn't know how to change. I just wanted to remind you that you can't change on your own. Instead you need to fully rely on God to change you.

    In the bible it talks about if we ask in his name then it will be given to us? I assume you know what this means but if not I will explain.

    John 14:12-13 (KJV)

    Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.

    And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.

    This verse is true. I read it this morning and was reminded that my life didn't change untill I wanted God to change it. So know that if you want to work on not living your life in self-pity then know that you will have to rely on God for this. Pray that you live your life giving glory to God.

    I don't think I know what else to say but know that I'm praying for you. I have love for you through Christ.

    Last Edit: on Tuesday, May 3, 2011 at 3:01pm by edavis  
    on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 11:13 pm
    Ruby, your story is very powerful. Thanks for sharing!
    on Tuesday, May 3, 2011 at 12:41 am
    all I can say is WOW
    on Wednesday, May 4, 2011 at 8:48 am
    Thank you, Ruby, for sharing your story. Last night I spoke to the women at the Chattanooga Rescue Mission and I read your story as an introduction. I was able to give them the plan of salvation and then read from Lies Women Believe. I read the lie about our circumstances. We just had tornadoes come through and leave MAJOR damage here in GA/AL/TN and so it was a good way to bring it all together. Thank you for your story! Thank you for being willing to let God change you and work through you. Every story is unique and I'm thankful for yours.
    May God continue to bless you and use you for His glory!
    on Thursday, May 5, 2011 at 4:04 pm
    I was studying of how to prepare ourselves for what God has for us! You really inspired me! Next Saturday I'm gonna preach and I'll tell your story! You have such a clear view of life, of death and of God!! I praise the Lord for the miracle he made in you and the miracles he does in my life! Praise the Lord!!
    Glory be to God!!!
    on Friday, May 6, 2011 at 10:00 pm
    I remember this, and Ruby, I was soooo happy to hear of your testimony again that I'm all choked up!

    Glory be to God for His work in your life!
    on Sunday, May 8, 2011 at 9:06 pm
    This sounds just like me, except I'm 13, not 14, and I have an older sister, just not one who lives at home (and she doesn't believe in God). I don't know about God, I only have about 9 months to live, and I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm not gonna make it to high school.
    Praise God!
    on Monday, May 9, 2011 at 11:45 am
    Your testimony is amazing and inspiring! You have encouraged and challeged me, as a typial 18 year old Christian girl, to pursue even further a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ, and to trust Him in all things.
    My heart is bursting with joy to know that you are living in the love and peace of God! All I can say is praise God!
    And I thank God for all the people who tirelessly contribute to this blog. Through it, young women are being touched, taught, and inspired! Praise God!
    re: Sarah
    on Monday, May 9, 2011 at 12:33 pm
    Dear Sarah,

    I have a story to tell you. Only this story might change your whole life. Please read this.

    Once upon a time....about 6,000 years ago God created the earth. In six days he created everything. He created the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky. He created beasts in the fields and the trees in the forests. He created everything. The cool and awesome thing about it was he only had to say the word and it was there. One day God decided to make man. He wanted to make something in his own image. So he created a man named Adam. After a little bit God said that it was not good that man be alone. So he put Adam into a deep sleep and took a rip from Adam. (Or was it a hip? I’ll have to look that up later.) With this rip/hip God made Eve. (I’m sure you’ve heard this story. But keep reading. It gets better.)

    So this was the beginning of mankind. After Eve had been created and Adam had woken up, God told Adam and Eve that they were to live in the Garden of Eden. He told them that they could eat any fruit except from this one tree. This tree was called the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. He said that if they did, then Adam and Eve would die. This was the first rule God laid out. Pretty simple right? I mean all Adam and Eve had to do was live in paradise and not eat of the one tree.

    One day a Satan came in the form of a snake. That snake came sneaking about and spoke to Eve. He tricked Eve into eating that fruit from the tree. He told Eve that she wouldn’t die. He told her that God was some how holding out on Eve. Then Eve ate of that fruit and then when she gave some of it to Adam he also ate. When they had eaten it they both realized that they had sinned and gone against God. They realized they were naked and felt the shame that they had brought upon themselves. They felt guilty.

    Because of the shame and guilt, they tried to hide their sin. They covered themselves with leaves. Once they had done this they heard God in the garden. They at once tried to hide. But God was not fooled. He knew where they were because God knows everything. He found them and asked Adam what had happened. Adam immediately played the blame game and shifted everything so that it pointed to Eve. He said, “The woman you gave me, she ate and then gave me some.”

    So God looked to Eve and asked what had happened and Eve followed in her husbands manner. I can just imagine how she said it. The tone and everything simply because I’ve been in her place only too many times. “Uh, that snake over there, yea that one, well he deceived me into doing it.”

    So God looked at the snake. He cursed the snake and said that the snake would crawl on its belly for forever. He then turned to Eve and said that she would bear children in pain. Turning to Adam he said that Man would now have to work to get food. Weeds would sprout up and make it hard for man to plant. But then God made a promise that one day He would send a Savior.

    So that was the beginning . That was how sin came into the world. This was how man had a reason for a Savior. This story came from the bible and is found in the first pages of a bible. Anyways, now that you know the beginning half of the story I want you to find out the second half of the story. So this is where you come into play. I want to challenge you to read from the Bible. I want to challenge you to read the book of John. That’s it. Only one book of the bible. You said you don’t know what to do. Well I have an idea. Read John. If you don’t have a bible. Then go to this sight. It has the book of John.

    When you have finished reading chapter 1. Then look up john 2 and so on. There are a total of 21 chapters and the chapters are pretty short. While you read them. Write down questions you might have. When you finish john then comment on here and let me know. Ask me or anyone about the questions you come up with. I’m sure anyone on here would be willing to help you.

    Sarah, this is important for you to do because right now you are searching for something. God wants you to be in heaven with him when you die but only God change you. God’s holding out his arms to you.

    One last thing. When you finish reading John. I want you to watch this video.

    When I came to this sight for answers someone shared this video with me and it helped me get the right perspective on things.

    I know I just threw a lot at you but please think about what I said. I left you kind of in the middle of the story because I want you to find out what happens next. I want you to find out what hope you can have.

    I love you and I’m praying for you. Please don’t walk away but walk closer to what you’re looking for. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

    In Christ!


    P.S. If you have questions you can also comment on my blog that I just created. I basically wrote on my blog what I just wrote here.
    re: Sarah
    on Monday, May 9, 2011 at 12:36 pm
    lol and I forget to put my blog address in my last comment.
    June 2010 post :)
    on Tuesday, May 10, 2011 at 3:49 pm
    Ruby your story is amazing! I was reading your comments on the June 2010 post and it's the God & the Prince of Persia one. What everyone wrote on there was really touching. It was amazing to read <33
    on Friday, May 20, 2011 at 11:28 am
    When i was a baby i was born with a breathing disorder called R.S.V that had affected my health deeply.The doctors told my mom that it is a miracle i am alive.While growing up i have had to use tubes just to breathe.I was a walking miracle.Now through Gods love i am 15 and no more tubes.i got saved when i was 6 years old and i dont know what i would do without Jesus in my life:}
    on Tuesday, May 24, 2011 at 10:21 pm
    Hey girls!!! So I have some questions.......I never feel like I'm talking to God when I pray....i feel like i'm more just talking to myself.......what does this mean and how can i make my prayer life more .....spiritual??
    Becca: Prayer
    on Thursday, June 2, 2011 at 2:23 pm
    Hey Becca,

    It is important to remember that regardless of our feelings, when we pray, God hears us. It will not feel like a “conversation” – a give and take like we have with a friend on the phone. But as we share with Him our thoughts, our hopes, our dreams, our pains, we can be assured that He does hear our prayers (2 Ki. 20:5; Ps. 66:19-20; Is. 38:5; 1 Pet. 3:12). Then it is also important that you spend time reading the Bible. You will not hear God speak to you in an audible way, but you can feel Him directing your thoughts and your plans through His Word. He will never lead you to do something that is contrary to His Word.

    Some people find it helpful to journal their prayers to the Lord. Writing a letter to God can make Him seem more real as well as help you to process your thoughts and emotions. It also provides a written history of how God has worked in your life.

    God loves to have us come to Him in prayer – just as an earthly father loves to have his child come to him with their cares, concerns and needs. God rejoices in our prayers to Him so don’t give up, Becca. Keep on praying!

    on Friday, June 3, 2011 at 11:16 am
    Thanks so much!!! It really helps!!!! It's something that I have always worried about but now I have some answers =) I totally need to read the Bible more tho!! maybe I will try a Journal too =D
    thanks!!!!! ¢¾
    on Tuesday, June 28, 2011 at 9:13 am
    Thank you for making this post.I never really look on how short life can be, so you would want to go to Christ asap.
    on Sunday, July 10, 2011 at 2:01 pm
    Wow, this is an amazing story! Very inspiring! It really makes me think about my relationship with Christ.
    thank you :)
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 5:02 pm
    i am glad that i read her story today. it made me realize that i am being so stupid. Ruby was going through cancer and she felt so hopless that she had to just cling to God. I dont have terrible things like that happening in my life, and i take God for granted. Her story made me think and i need to open up to God more, he is real and he will become more real in my life. Life is short and i need to start walking deeper in my faith if i want to make my life worth more than what it is now. I want to impact people, just like Ruby's story impacted me
    on Wednesday, December 21, 2011 at 9:02 pm
    Thank-you Ruby for sharing your story! It made me cry in a good way! I have PTSD and some-days I feel like am I going to over-come it?

    Jesus calls me an over-comer and I do have night-mares sometimes from when I first was diagnosed with PTSD (long story, wont get into details)

    I use to have so much faith with everything else I had to over-come, but this one I'm really struggling with and I'm like where did my faith go? I refuse to give up, I was a believer ever since I was five years old! I guess one thing is I've had to over-come so many things! It's almost as if the enemy does not want me to over-come this one! But I have my whole life ahead of me!

    I need to continue to fight and until I'm set free! It's hard some-times, but your story encouraged me!!:)

    Merry Christmas!!:) I think God is continuing to bring me back to this website!
    on Sunday, April 8, 2012 at 2:25 am
    That's a amazing story

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