What's the big deal about sexting?

posted by Erin Davis on 06/02/11 | Twitter: @ErinGraffiti
Category: Sin; ; 33 comments

From the LYWB.com team: Most of our posts on LYWB.com are carefully worded so as to protect the innocent. Most of the time we're thinking G. This is a PG-13 post. You might want to ask your mom before you keep going if you should read this. Let your mom be your friend and screen your post. Good practice to do anyway!
Monday, I told you Aly's story. Aly is a Christian girl living in a Christian home, and yet she got wrapped up in some serious patterns of sin that were very difficult to break free from. One of those sin patterns was sexting.

Aly wants to share her story with other young women so that they can avoid the traps that ensnared her. With that in mind, we decided to tackle the question "What's the big deal about sexting?"

teen girl textingSexting is a growing trend among teenagers. Research shows that at least 20 percent of all teens in the United States have sexted nude or semi-nude photos of themselves. Most teens see sexting as nothing more than high-tech flirting. They reason, "It's just innocent fun. I'm not hurting anyone."

That simply isn't true. Many young people seem to take the same credit card approach to sexting that they do to other sexual activity—"play now, pay later." If you are sending or receiving nude images, you will pay a price and you will get hurt.

One of the primary consequences of sexting is public humiliation. Studies indicate that 90 percent of guys who receive a sext will share it with others. You may send an image with the intention that only your boyfriend will see it, but it's not likely to remain for his eyes only. And when the images get out, the consequences can be devastating.

Many teens mistakenly think that sexting is perfectly legal. It isn't. In fact, nationwide, young people are being slapped with serious charges as a result of sext messages that didn't stay private.

In 2007, two 13-year-old girls were threatened with charges of child pornography and open lewdness after pictures they took on their cell phone were widely distributed without their permission. When the girls claimed they didn't know what they were doing was a crime, the district attorney in the case said, "Well, as you well know, ignorance of the law is not a defense."

Over the last few years many teens have been prosecuted as sex offenders for sending and receiving sexual images on their phones. In one case, three students at a Pennsylvania high school sent explicit images of themselves to four male classmates. All seven face felony child pornography charges and a permanent label of "sex offender."

Sexting isn't harmless fun. It is a felony offense. Legally, it is creating child pornography. Forwarding it is legally seen as trafficking in child pornography. The young people who are prosecuted for sexting will never escape the label they received as a result of their conviction. When they get married, they will never be able to go to school with their child, go to a soccer game, or invite other families over for dinner because they are sex offenders. For the rest of their life there will be consequences. All from sexting.

Sexting isn't only illegal. It's devastating. In 2009, a female student from Ohio hung herself after pictures she took on her cell phone were distributed without her permission. That doesn't sound like harmless fun. Clearly, people can get hurt.

These may seem like extreme examples, but they paint an accurate picture of the wake of devastation sexting can leave in the lives of those who participate. Even if the law doesn't catch you, images you send of yourself won't stay private. Those images will exist forever. Your future employer could see them. Your parents could see them. Your future spouse or future children could see them. And then, somebody will definitely be hurt. Psalm 101:3 says, "I will refuse to look at
anything vile and vulgar" (NLT).

A nude woman or nude man is not vile or vulgar, but God asks us to wait to reveal ourselves in this way until we are married. There is a time and place for full exposure, and it has nothing to do with cell phones or the Internet. God's standards for your love life aren't limited to what happens in the bedroom. Sexting is wrong because it reveals the secrets of your body to someone who is not your spouse.  

Note: Large portions of this post are taken from The Bare Facts: 30 Questions Your Parents Hope You Never Ask About Sex, which Erin wrote with Josh McDowell.

Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

    Elaina
    Hoping for feedback
    on Thursday, June 2, 2011 at 11:05 pm
    I had a question on "Tornados and Theology" and nobody answered. Does anyone have the answer? This is very important to me and I want to find out how to know whether God is telling me something or not. I hope I didn't offend anyone!
    Chloe
    Wow....
    on Friday, June 3, 2011 at 12:03 am
    I personally have never done anything like sexting, but I have flirted with guys over texting before. If sexting is already illegal, it can only be a matter of time before certain verbal messages are also considered illegal. Thank you so much for posting this, I think that every teenager girl above the age of about 14 needs to read this. Because often times we don't realize how very harmful things can be, even if we're doing it for "fun". I bet that if girls read this, most of them would never do it in the first place.
    God*loves*me
    Re:
    on Friday, June 3, 2011 at 1:28 am
    Wow, I had nooo idea sexting was a felon.
    This guy that i have been talking to asked me to send him a picture of me in the nude and lucky i was talking to a close girlfriend at the same time and she told me not to send it, cause it was a very bad idea and would end up on other guys phones....thank goodness i listened to my friend and didn't send it...I love God and try to follow his ways but at that exact moment, I felt like "so what, you know, we like each other nothing is going to happen besides its not like i'm going to sleep with him" i was trying hard to convince myself that I wasn't 'really' disobeying God cause i wasn't really doing anything, but now I know I was wrong. If i had sexted, I know my conscience would have given me hell.
    Jessie
    Re:
    on Friday, June 3, 2011 at 1:37 pm
    I dont have a phone but me and my friend were texting our friend, but it wasnt really him, it was his friend. He asked if we wanted to see his down there, we said sure cause we didnt think he was serious. He got it of the internet. We actually thought it was him. Thats what sexting does. Its sad that some people really do sext. They actually think its kewl. My other "friend" found this sonng called sexting and she was like,'' thats my favorite song", Its sad and groose!
    Natalie
    Re: Heather
    on Friday, June 3, 2011 at 5:26 pm
    I'm praying for you Heather. *hugs* Keep trusting Jesus.
    Gail
    Heather
    on Saturday, June 4, 2011 at 7:58 am
    I'm not Erin,as you see,but I did read your post,so I'll be praying for you,and your whole family (:
    Be still and know He is God.

    Much Love,
    Gail
    Mariebiscuit
    Heather
    on Saturday, June 4, 2011 at 11:19 am
    It's ok, Heather! Cast your cares unto the Lord. :)
    Jeremiah 29:11 says, " For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." the Lord already knows what's gonna happen, and He has the power to work miracles. And even if things don't go the way you really want them to go, please don't despair! Whatever happens is always part of the Lord's perfect plan for His purpose. :)
    And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28.
    The Lord is holding your hand, together with the rest of your family. He loves all of you. Praying for you!
    Rebecca
    Sexting
    on Saturday, June 4, 2011 at 1:00 pm
    Great post! Recently, a lot of kids at my high school got in trouble for sexting. In fact, my small school was featured on the news for the sexting issue. We aren't even allowed to listen to iPods anymore. Not even with substitutes! Our school is also cracking down on the bullying too. In the last 2 months of school were awful! Pictures were spread around and every one that got the pictures had to go with their parents to the police and explain why they had them. I wasn't involved in any of it but I suffered from it. Sexting is a serious thing. Thank you for addressing it.
    Morgan
    Re: Heather
    on Saturday, June 4, 2011 at 4:09 pm
    That is so heartbreaking! I will most definitely be in prayer for you, your brother, and your parents!
    kiana
    oh my word!!!
    on Saturday, June 4, 2011 at 4:21 pm
    Never in my life would i have thought that this was a crime!!!! When i was in 6th grade i sent a pic to my boyfriend but it was just me with a tank top on. But i kinda regret that. When you said that they dont just keep it to themselves.... well thats exactly what he did. Somehow everyone knew. :(

    But i'm just glad that i found this out. thank you sooo much!!!
    anonymous girly girl
    off topic prayer request
    on Saturday, June 4, 2011 at 8:36 pm
    ladies i know this is off topic but please pray for my mom she has just had a stroke :( she is doing really well praise god but please continue to pray thanx so much.
    Emme
    My Blog
    on Sunday, June 5, 2011 at 9:04 pm
    Dear LYWB,

    You blog has made such an impact on my life, that i have started my own! I'm writing a bit more from a young girl's view, so its not as good as yours. Please visit my blog if you have a chance. You won't regret it!

    http://livingforgodinthe21stcentury.blogspot.com/
    Ashley
    Re:
    on Monday, June 6, 2011 at 12:46 pm
    Heather, I have prayed for you and your family! This is a situation that God can show his power through. May he work more abundantly than you could ever imagine!
    In Christ,
    Ashley
    Elaina
    Heather, smiling4u!!!
    on Monday, June 6, 2011 at 8:23 pm
    Thanks Heather!!! I will do that!! I will also pray for your fam, that sounds really tough.
    Katie
    Ummm
    on Monday, June 6, 2011 at 8:36 pm
    well i have sexted more than once and i regret all of them. all the guys that i sent them 2 were at least good enough not to show people so ya but it does nothing it is worthless nobody do it its just a worry and u'll always be afriad that someone else has seen it believe me it ain;t worth it
    LaurenB.
    praying for heather
    on Tuesday, June 7, 2011 at 3:20 pm
    Yes, I agree with Elaina , it sounds really tough! I'll pray for you, I read your blog yesterday and prayed for you that very moment. Keep up your faith.

    Laurenb
    anon
    Re: @anonymous girly girl & @Heather
    on Wednesday, June 8, 2011 at 9:43 am
    @anonymous girly girl: I just said a prayer for your mom! Hope she is okay!

    @Heather: You, your brother, and your entire family have my prayers! xoxo.
    anon
    @Heather
    on Wednesday, June 8, 2011 at 9:54 am
    Oh, and Heather - on that post where probably more than half the comments now are from me and you, a woman Erin asked to reply to your question about that Hebrews passage, replied. Just thought you'd like to know. :)
    Katie
    Re: Heather
    on Friday, June 10, 2011 at 11:09 pm
    Oh Heather I am so sorry to hear about your family. My parents and I are praying for you :) John 15:7 says "If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you." John 15 is one of my favorite chapters I encourage you to read it :)
    anonymous girly girl
    @ heather and non
    on Saturday, June 11, 2011 at 2:18 pm
    thank you so much for your prayers. she is doing much better! just please continue to pray for patience for my family and i thanks so much! God bless you both :)
    anon
    Re: Heather + anonymous girly girl
    on Thursday, June 16, 2011 at 9:45 pm
    I just read both of your comments a few minutes ago.

    Heather - Sure, you're welcome. :) In case you ever decide you wanna check, though - I read the reply and it's all good news. :)

    anonymous girly girl - Yay! :D And I will do that. :)
    jack
    texting
    on Friday, July 1, 2011 at 2:46 pm
    i didnt know that sexting was wrong. i was dating a guy and he asked me to send a picture of me to him and he will send me one. i told him that i didnt have a carama at the time so i couldnt send him one but he sent me a pic of his down there and i was really groose. so i just deleted it but then he wanted to meet me in person but i wasnt able to meet with him and im glad i didnt. is there a way to avoid that in the future? also please be praying for my family bc they have brincoudous(dont know how to spell it) thanks so much
    anon
    @Heather
    on Wednesday, July 20, 2011 at 8:09 pm
    Hey there. :) I finally replied to your comment on that post. And you are very welcome for telling you! :)
    Erin Davis
    Heather
    on Saturday, July 23, 2011 at 4:06 pm
    I am sorry it has taken me so long to respond to you.

    I want you to know that I have prayed for your brother. That sounds like a difficult situation and I think you are wise to seek prayer from others.

    I also wanted to let you know that there is nothing magical about my prayers. You have the same ability to petition God that I do. I hope you will keep praying for your brother. It is the most important thing you can do for him.

    Erin
    Heather Sv.
    Re:
    on Monday, July 25, 2011 at 1:02 pm
    Thank you very much, Erin!! I know your prayers aren't "magic" or have more weight than another person's prayer, but I know personally that your prayers are effective, and I wanted to reach out to everyone I could. So thank you for praying for my brother<33 I think I notice some change in his life. He's still bad and sneaks out and thinks he's the king of the world with his own rules, but he doesn't call my mom horibble names anymore, and from what I know he doesn't physically bully her anymore.

    Thank you, Erin!!!<333
    Torri
    RE:
    on Friday, July 29, 2011 at 1:33 am
    i love this website , i feel as if i can tell my secrets and i won't be judged because i'm not the only one with certain problems . I have done my picture sendings , and talking dirty , etc ....... actually recently , i feel dirty on the inside , i knew it was wrong and i just kept doing it to make myself feel like guys wanted me :'( i truthfully know now that i'm only 14 i shouldn't be worrying about that pucky , just about getting a good education and a closer intamate relationship with God ! i'm keeping all of you ladies in my prayers , please do the same for me ! :)

    love forever & always ,,
    Torri <33333
    Vicky
    Sexting
    on Tuesday, September 20, 2011 at 2:19 pm
    I am shocked...

    I would never had thought that sexting is a crime and that its illegal. i sent some pics to my boyfriend, but he didnt show anyone. i went abit too far with him by txt, thank God my parents stopped me. even tho i got my phone taken away, i still find ways to talk to him. is saying i love u and calling him baby sexting? my friends think it is, but i kinda disagree with them. any advice???
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    Vicky
    on Wednesday, September 21, 2011 at 10:45 am
    Vicky,

    Praise the Lord for your parents, Vicky! God is giving them wisdom and insight that He is using for your protection. You are a blessed young woman, my friend!

    If your parents have asked that you not to have contact with this young man, you need to honor their request, Vicky. Trust that God is speaking through them even if it doesn’t make sense to you. God promises blessing to those who will heed the counsel of their parents (Eph. 6:1-3)… you want to do what is right in God’s eyes, Vicky!

    Here are some questions you need to ask yourself when relating with guys through texting.

    • Will what I’m about to text cause him to “stumble” in thought or action? ( 1 Corinthians 8:13)
    • How does what I’m about to say “build him up” or encourage him in his relationship with Jesus? (1 Thess. 5:11).
    • Does anything I’m about to text hint at sexual immorality or impurity – in my mind or potentially in his? (Eph. 5:3).
    • Does what I’m about to say reflect the fact that I am “ putting to death” everything that is immoral, impure or filled with wrong desire in my own heart? ( Col. 3:5).

    Take the high road, my friend! Be above reproach in everything you do and say!
    Carrie
    Can I be forgiven?
    Sexting
    on Monday, October 24, 2011 at 11:05 pm
    Last August i was sexting with a guy but not pictures if thats right? anyways A few months later his mom found out and took his phone away. I then thought i could forget about it, start over. Then he texted me. Its started again, but it turned into pictures almost every night. Last night i told him no more. He said Okay, but im afraid hes gonna ask again and i wont be able to say 'No'. I havnt told anyone and its eating me up. I think ill tell my BFF because she knows what happened in August but i havnt told her what i have done now.. Should I? I just need someone to help me through it.. Im only 14. I cant handle this secret anymore.. What should i do?
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    re: Can I be forgiven?
    on Wednesday, October 26, 2011 at 2:24 pm
    Oh, friend…YES – tell someone! You are welcome to tell your BFF – but please also tell an adult – your parents or another godly adult. They can see that you get the help you need to overcome this sin. They can be there for you to encourage you, help you and to hold you accountable to changing.

    Sexting is a sin, friend. God will forgive you of this sin if you confess it to Him (1 Jn. 1:9). There is no sin too big for God to forgive. Then you need to repent of sexting – turn away from it and run the other way (1 Cor. 6:18-20). If this guy is asking you for pictures, you need to break off your relationship with him. He does not have your best interest at heart – he only wants personal gratification. Please tell someone about what is going on so you can get the help you need. I guarantee that you will feel so much better when you confess your sin to God and to someone else and then begin to make different choices in this area.

    God loves you, friend. He wants what is best for you. That is why He says that we should keep our bodies for our husbands only (Heb. 13:4). That time of your life is a ways off yet. He will help you to change your heart and change your behavior so that you are protected and honor Him in this area of your life (1 Cor. 10:13).

    I am praying for you right now! Who are you going to talk to and when will you do it?
    Erin Davis
    Heather Sv.
    on Sunday, May 27, 2012 at 8:35 am
    Done!

    Erin
    Heather Sv.
    Re:
    on Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 2:51 pm
    Thank youuuuuu, Erin!<33
    Erin Davis
    Heather Sv.
    on Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 4:05 pm
    Heather,

    We will do our best to remove your comments, but we can't promise that we will get all of them. We would have to manually go back through all of the archives and we just don't have the manpower.

    Please consider switching to a screen name that is nothing like your real name. Such as purplebutterfly for example so that this problem doesn't persist.

    Thanks!

    Erin Davis

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