What happens when you tell a fifty-year-old secret?

posted by Erin Davis on 07/20/11 | Twitter: @ErinGraffiti
Category: Sin; ; 47 comments

You couldn't miss her. She had silver hair and a sweet face that made you sure she was somebody's "nana." The first time I saw her, she was laying on the altar sobbing.

I don't know the woman's name. She came forward at an event I spoke at for teenagers and their moms. I found out later that she had come to the event to be a prayer warrior, interceding for the young women and their parents as we taught about God's plan for purity. But when my friend Dannah Gresh spoke candidly about the loneliness that comes from keeping secrets and then invited those who were hiding sin to come forward and be ministered to by the rest of the group, down she came. For the rest of the evening she lay on the altar and cried.

It turns out that that sweet woman had been keeping a painful secret for a very long time. She had sinned sexually with her boyfriend at the age of sixteen, and fifty years later she had never told a soul, not even her husband or children. At first I was struck by the pain that kind of secret obviously caused. She was wrecked by something that had happened back when John F. Kennedy still sat in the Oval Office. But the pain and loneliness of her secret sin isn't the end of her story. As she shared her sin with another believer, she transformed right before our eyes. If freedom needed a poster child, she'd be first on the list. She left that event with a smile on her face and the strength to go home and tell her husband about her sin.

While secrecy had kept her in bondage for five decades, confession led to freedom in a span of about fifteen minutes. When we confess our sin to the Body, the same thing happens to us. That's why we've got to get serious about sharing our sin with the church. breaking chains

James 5:16 spells it out clearly: "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."

No need for much expository teaching here. The formula is simple. If you confess your sins to each other, you are healed and your prayers start packing a serious punch. We can assume that the opposite is true. When we refuse to confess out loud what we've done, our wounds just scab over and our prayer lives can get weak and wimpy.

Satan would like nothing better than to convince us that dark closets are where the skeletons caused by our sin should remain. He gets us all worked up about what people will think if we get real about our sin or convinces us that no one else has sin that they're wrestling with. The truth is, that's hogwash. Everyone sins! The Bible spells that out clearly (Rom. 3:23). And what will others think? Probably something along the lines of "I've struggled with that too" or "Thanks for being honest with me because now I know how I can pray for you!"

Earlier this week I wrote about a sexual sin that has put many of you in bondage. I wrote about it because I have heard so many of you say that you want to be free in this area but you can't stop your habitual sin. When I encourage you to confess your sin to another believer, you dig in your heels and refuse saying, "There must be another way." But sometimes there just isn't. God doesn't ask us to confess our sin because He wants us to be humiliated. He urges us to confess our sins to other believers because it is for our good and freedom.

Don't let sin keep you in bondage for fifty years, five years, or five minutes. If you're wrestling with sin, seek out a wise Christian friend and fess up. Drag into the light what Satan would love for you to keep in the darkness. God promises that the result will be healing. It's a promise I bet my silver-haired friend wishes she had trusted fifty years sooner.

Is there a secret sin you've refused to tell? Find a wise Christian friend and confess today.

Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says,  

"Awake, O sleeper, 

and arise from the dead,

and Christ will shine on you" (Eph. 5:11–14).

Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

Liz

a question
on Wednesday, July 20, 2011 at 1:46 am

This type of confession is needed for every single sin we do?

Rachel

Be encouraged!
on Wednesday, July 20, 2011 at 1:59 am

These are a couple of verses that have encouraged me and given me hope when I've been struggling with sin and need to confess it to someone.

1 Corinthians 10:13 -- There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

Hebrews 4:15 -- For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.

Joy

Re:
on Wednesday, July 20, 2011 at 5:56 am

Since I was 12 - and longer too, in my mind though not in my body - I have struggled with sexual sin. When I came to faith, 3 years after I fell sexually for the first time, I thought the lust had died with my new life. But soon, the temptations came upon me stronger than ever; and when I first gave in and fell again, I was depressed for months. I did not confess to anyone. Soon, my prayers grew weak and the Word became unattractive - I thought I was too filthy for God. The sin that I so hated, I clung to, as though in immersing myself in it, I could find comfort. It was horrible, and I was depressed for over a year and isolated from my closest friends in Christ. I'm almost 18 now. A few months ago, I finally confessed my sin to a friend with whom I had been talking about the shame of sin several times. He asked what this shameful sin was, and because I trust him completely and know him like I know myself, I told him. The transformation was incredible! He too confessed weaknesses he had kept secret from the light, and we both found freedom in our confession and accountability in the telling to one another. Since then, we have been stronger to battle our sins and encouraged both in our friendship and in our relationship with God. When I look back, I find that it's like I have experienced a spiritual growth-spurt since my confession. My walk with God has grown deeper, my relationships closer, and my ministry sincere. I can be confident even as I am transparent, and be an encouragement and a strength to others rather than a depressed drag. This in turn blesses me. Confess, and let the truth set you free; there is no shame, for we are all sinful.

Kallista

My Confession
on Wednesday, July 20, 2011 at 9:10 am

Here is my confession, I have sinned sexually. The past few day reading your posts about masturbation and overcoming it have been very powerful.
I am 15 and have masturbated since I was around 12. I have watched porn since age 13. I have sinned so much in these past years I feel worthless.
Reading these posts was like a beam of light on my path of darkness. Thank you for posting about this. I can't handle this secret anymore. I can't lie anymore.
Here is my sin, open on the table, I just need to be forgiven.

Becca

Bondage
on Wednesday, July 20, 2011 at 9:28 am

I really liked how you said "Don't let sin keep you in bondage for fifty years, five years, or five minutes." Because I tend to wait "just a little longer" to fess up. Now I realize that that is pride. Thanks so much!

Kiana

Hard topic.
on Wednesday, July 20, 2011 at 12:13 pm

See i have this problem with trusting people. Believing my family loves me and if i confess my sins they will help amd not look at me differently.

Kallista, i had the same issue. Your not the only one. And i still struggle with it. If there is anythin i can do please let me know. Im praying for you.

Lorree, with the LYWB team

re: Kallista
on Wednesday, July 20, 2011 at 12:27 pm

I am so thankful to know that the Lord has convicted you of this sin, Kallista! As you confess your sin to the Lord, He is faithful and will forgive you (1 Jn. 1:9). Through this and your sin of watching pornography, you have opened doors that are only meant to be opened in the gift of marriage. I have prayed for you today and asked the Lord to give you the grace you need to overcome this temptation and to restore your heart of purity and innocence. I encourage you to memorize Philippians 4:8 to use as you battle for your purity. It says: “Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

Serving Him,
Lorree

Lorree, with the LYWB team

re: Liz
on Wednesday, July 20, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Our enemy somehow has power over us in the secrecy of our sins, Liz. When we choose to not confess our sins to others and we hide them, the enemy uses that in a powerful way in our lives. Once we confess our sins to the Lord and to others and bring that sin – any sin - out into the light, we find freedom and release from condemnation and shame (James 5:16).

As we choose to be open with another Christian friend, they can support us by encouraging us, praying for us and holding us accountable as we battle to overcome this area of sin in our lives.

Praying for you, Liz!

Serving Him,
Lorree

Rachel M...

Re:
on Wednesday, July 20, 2011 at 1:42 pm

I agree with Rachel: 1 Corinthians 10:13 Is definitely a verse that I have held on to. He isn't going to forsake us ever, even if it seems a temptation is too strong for us to overcome.

Lauren

Re:
on Wednesday, July 20, 2011 at 4:43 pm

That story really touched me...I think I've almost commit every sexual sin--whether by accident or because God wasn't on my mind--except actually having sex. I don't really have a lot of women in my life that are close to talk to. I have my mom but we don't talk about everything.

It didn't take me to long to stop those things and for God to bring me out of that dark place. God keeps telling me He forgives me, but I having a very difficult time forgiving myself. Since I haven't been able to do that I never get attached or make friends with people and I keep telling myself I absolutely will never be worth for a great friend or (even in the future) a husband (which I don't even want to talk about).

I have faith He can work in me, but I'm struggling a bit.

Kaitlyn

Re:
on Wednesday, July 20, 2011 at 5:08 pm

I posted a comment anonymously on the first post about masturbation. I was too embarrassed to give my name, but now I'm feeling a little braver about it.

I want to thank you again for bringing up the subject. It's something I've been struggling with and I feel so much better knowing I'm not alone. I have turned to God to help get through my struggles and to make me pure again. I thank God that it hasn't become an addiction for me, but I still feel ashamed and guilty for the times I have masturbated. By reading these posts and confessing my sins on my comments, I'm feeling better. I feel more free.

I'm here to confess my sins, to ask for forgiveness, and to ask for prayer. I don't feel like I can tell anyone in my life about this right now, but I feel so much better confessing here on Lies Young Women Believe.

Kallista, Kiana and anyone else struggling, you're not alone. I'll be praying for you!

Joy

Kallista
on Wednesday, July 20, 2011 at 5:18 pm

You're not the only one, you're not alone. Confess and be forgiven. The Lord is faithful. I'm praying for you.

Anonymous

One thing...?
on Wednesday, July 20, 2011 at 6:07 pm

"...you dig in your heals and refuse..."

It's 'heels' in that context, not 'heals'. 'Twas bothering me a lot, figured I'd point it out. Do feel a lot better now, thanks x.

Romanciia

Hey
on Wednesday, July 20, 2011 at 6:37 pm

My mom is so controlin and abusive. I do pray every day cause God did so much in my life but my mom does tell me some real hurtful things, she make me weak and she terrifies me, am even scared to stay in the house with her. Onesly i love her so much and she`s a goood mother, she don't even try to undrstand me. My big sis is almost 21 years old and she still hates her. My mom like she is wants 2 make our decisions, somethimes I hope she knos that we have 2 fall and get back up ourselves 2 learn.

Anonymous

Re:
on Wednesday, July 20, 2011 at 9:03 pm

My favorite verse is 1 Cor. 10:13!!!! I apply that to my life all the time, when I feel the temptation is too much.

ashley

???
on Wednesday, July 20, 2011 at 9:48 pm

Thank you for posting this. I really needed to hear this, last year i fell deep in sin and by reading these post on here and with the help of God and Erin i told my mom. But now i went even deeper with my sin and i know its wrong,but i feel that if i tell my friend she can help me not do it any more. I can't even get it in my head to my mom that i cut myself. She would be so hurt. And the oddest thing is when i did it, i didn't even fel like me. I so feel trapped in who i am. I know God loves me and i have taken one step and given up music that i love because i love Him more then that and it really took me sometime to get right with that. But that night i gave up my music i really felt God so strong! I may sound lame, but it felt like he was holding me as i cryed, I WANT that everyday. The feeling made me feel so good. I no longer felt ugly or not worth much, i felt like God loved me. Why cant i feel that all the time??

Erin Davis

anonymous
on Thursday, July 21, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Fixed it!

Erin

Lorree, with the LYWB team

Re: Ashley
on Thursday, July 21, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Regardless of what our emotions tell us, God is right there with us all the time. Our enemy wants us to doubt God’s Word, and believe that God doesn’t care and that He’s not there. But God clearly tells us in the Bible that He is with us wherever we go (Joshua 1:9); He will never leave us nor forsake us (Heb. 13:5); Jesus is with us always (Matt. 28:20). God promises that He is with us in the midst of all the trouble we face in this world (Is. 43:1-3).

The challenge is to line our emotions – our feelings - up with the truths of God’s Word. Memorizing specific scripture passages is a way to get the truth in our head so that we can battle the enemy with truth when he tempts us to doubt God’s Word.

Confessing your sin to God is the first step you need to make. He is faithful and will forgive your sin (1 Jn. 1:9). But until we confess and repent, our sin stands as a barrier between us and God and we may not feel His presence with us. Once you agree with God about your sin, it is good for you to confess your sin to someone else to bring your sin out into the light. There is much power in secrecy. So when we bring it out into the light, we are empowered to overcome the sin. We confess to others so they can encourage, pray and hold you accountable.

You need to tell your mom, Ashley. She loves you and wants to be able to support you through this. She may be hurt that you cut yourself, but she will be more hurt that you didn’t trust her enough to tell her about it. She is there to help you, Ashley! When will you talk to her?

Praying for you!
Serving Him,
Lorree

Anita

Re:
on Thursday, July 21, 2011 at 7:14 pm

What a good post! :)

Kallista

Re:
on Thursday, July 21, 2011 at 7:24 pm

Thanks for your support everyone.
It has been difficult trying to overcome this, and I never knew how much of a struggle this would be. I am so thankful that I can finally be lifted of this burden and confess. Please pray for me as each day i fight for my purity....
God bless everyone.

Liz

Thank you
on Friday, July 22, 2011 at 2:22 am

Thank you, Lorreen, for your answer and for your prayers. I use to tell everything to my mom. It's only that I am afraid of what she will say when I tell her that I have had sinful thoughts and about several other things.

Sarah, with the LYWB team

Your mom
on Friday, July 22, 2011 at 9:10 am

Romanciia...Sorry for your situation. So glad the Lord promises help and has promised that He who sacrificed His only Son will not withhold any good thing. (Rom. 8:32) He will help you as you trust Him.

Some of the ways to experience His grace in your situation is through His Word, reading Lies Young Women Believe, and developing godly and supportive relationships with Christian women in your church family.

One of the things the Lord will teach you in this difficult situation is how to respect an authority, i.e. parent, even when the behavior of that person is not godly.

Praying for you!

so ashamed

continual sin
on Friday, July 22, 2011 at 12:37 pm

My sister taught me how to masturbate when i was like 11 and i didn't even know the word.... i have purposly tries to keep my innocence and i always kept myself from learning about things... i only wanted to know the bare minimum about sex because not knowing about anything made me feel holy. Then somehow i learned that what i was doing is masturbating.... i never tried to learn... And now i can't stop it... i keep on repenting and then 2 months later i do it again... last night i finally decided that it isn't possible that i could be forgiven again... i have had to repent like 70 times and then i fall back into it....

anon4058

Re:
on Friday, July 22, 2011 at 5:41 pm

I just got home from my church youth camp. Our youth pastor shared on this subject at our evening session on Tuesday night, and I am so glad that I was able to go to the alter. I remember my youth pastor's wife coming over and praying and she told me, "The past is exactly that, the past. leave that all to God, and just forget about it." She said a few other things, but they were personal.

mel

confession
on Friday, July 22, 2011 at 6:59 pm

I have been guilty of masturbation in the past, but I am experiencing an amazing forgiveness and healing. This sin is no longer a part of my life and the freedom found in christ is far better than the bondage of sin.

Heather Sv.

Re:
on Saturday, July 23, 2011 at 12:27 am

@so ashamed: Don't think that!!! There's no ending to God's forgiveness. When Jesus died on the cross, He didn't do it to atone for 1 or 2 of our sins; He did it to atone for any sin you or I will ever commit. It doesn't matter how many times you mess up- God forgives over and over.

I used to struggle with masturbation, also. Whenever my thoughts take a sinful turn, I stop that train of thought as soon as I'm aware of it and force myself to think about something else. It's difficult, but if you keep yourself occupied with other things, it gets easier. The more you say no, the easier it gets. Another thing that might help is whenever you are tempted to sin, don't stay in your room or anywhere you're alone, go somewhere else where your family is.

I hope that helps. I'll say a prayer for you<33

Tiffany

Re:
on Sunday, July 24, 2011 at 12:58 am

masturbation is something that i've struggled with for a few years now...i tell myself that i can stop and i list the reasons why i shouldn't in my head, but that only lasts for a week or so until i go back to it with recklessness. I just can't see control myself in moments like that. It feels like everything, including my relationship with God doesn't matter when I decide I want to do it. Last year, I finally told a counselor at a christian camp about it, but i kept at it for a year. I'm about to attend the same camp again this year and nothing has changed. I hate this sin of mine and I hate its control over me. I wish I can want to end it enough to do so. Please pray for me.

anon

@Heather
on Sunday, July 24, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Hey! I finally got back to your comment on what might as well be called OUR post (lol) a few days ago, and I also replied to your comment on the sexting post a few days ago. And I saw Erin did, too, regarding something you asked of her. :)

Carrie, with the LYWB team

Lauren
on Sunday, July 24, 2011 at 7:36 pm

God’s Word says that when we confess our sins He is faithful and will forgive our sins ( 1 John 1:9); He has promised to remove our sins as far as the east is from the west ( Ps. 103:12). He has even promised to forgive the guilt of your sin. “ I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity I did not hide; I said, " I will confess my transgressions to the LORD”; And You forgave the guilt of my sin ( Ps. 32:5).”
Those promises are for you, Lauren. But you must choose to believe them and to focus your mind on God’s faithfulness rather than your past sin. The writer of Lamentations struggled in a similar way when he said, “I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me (Lam. 3:19-20). Yet he chose to focus not on his past but on what was true in spite of his past. “Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail (Lam. 3:21-23).”
It’s interesting that Scripture never mentions the need to forgive ourselves. Nancy Leigh DeMoss shares some great insights about this that I’ve included below:
“Sometimes I hear women say, as a woman said to me after a conference just recently with emotion in her face and in her eyes and her voice. She said, I just can’t forgive myself. When people say that, I think what they’re really meaning to say is, I’ve committed such a great sin.
Forgiveness is not something you can give yourself. In fact, nowhere in the Bible do you find that concept of forgiving ourselves. God is the only one who can forgive sins. Forgiveness is something He has purchased for you and He offers it to you as a gift. So receive it. Receive it by faith.
If God says, I have cleared your debt. I have forgiven your sins. The payment has been paid. The debt has been paid. It’s been written off. You can go free. Who are we to say, I don’t know if I can be forgiven? I can’t forgive myself." I’m saying, God can forgive me but I can’t?
I mean, really if you think about it, we put ourselves in the place of God when we say that. God has said, I can. I will forgive. I want to forgive. I’m abundant in mercy. I want to pardon. Will you receive it by faith? “
Praying you’ll choose to walk in the freedom that is yours because of Jesus, dear friend.

Lauren

@Carrie, with the LYWB team
on Tuesday, July 26, 2011 at 12:03 am

Thanks for the prayer...I'm sitting up straighter now, and a little bit lighter. (I also talked with my mom about it).

Carrie, with the LYWB team

Lauren
on Tuesday, July 26, 2011 at 12:08 pm

SO thankful you'lve talked with your mom and that you're taking a step toward Jesus!

Thanks for letting me know, Lauren!

Lorree, with the LYWB team

re: So Ashamed
on Tuesday, July 26, 2011 at 1:19 pm

You can be forgiven, friend! There is no sin on earth that is beyond God’s forgiveness. He sent His Son, Jesus, to die for sin – that includes past, present and future sins. His sacrifice for our sin is complete. We cannot add to it or take away from it. It is finished (Jn. 19:30). Don’t let our enemy win this battle. Come to God in repentance and receive His freely given forgiveness.

The battle for the purity of our minds and bodies is difficult. But God’s grace is available for everything that happens in our lives (2 Cor. 12:9-10). He can be trusted to faithfully provide a way out of every temptation (1 Cor. 10:13). It is our responsibility to look for what God is providing and accept His gift of escape. Confessing this sin to a godly older friend – or even to your mom – is a way of escape. They can pray for you, encourage you and hold you accountable to forsaking this sin. They are there to call when you are feeling the temptation to give in and give up. I encourage you, friend, to decide who you will confess this to today and begin your journey to freedom.

There is power in the secrecy of sin. Once it is brought out into the open, our enemy’s tactics are exposed and we find freedom from the power of the sin. I’ve prayed for you today, friend! I’m asking the Lord to continue to draw you to Himself and to give you wisdom in who to confide in and courage to do it.

Lorree

Romancia

Thamks
on Wednesday, July 27, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Ok, thanks for those words of encouragement. I do keep praying to the top God, because I know is going to be hard to deal with my mother at the age of 17 but I even thoe it makes me cry I know at thr end I'm going to laught because all does hard work is going to lead me somewhere good.

Thank you!

Lydia

Truth!
on Wednesday, July 27, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Ladies, it's the truth! Here's a part of my personal testimony...
I'd been holding my sins inside of me since about 6th grade, and now it was January of my 9th grade year. I KNEW God wanted me to confess them to my parents, but I kept logic-ing it away with excuses like "it would do more hurt than good", "they'd be ashamed of me", "they don't need to know, so why tell them?", "but they're so happy right now", "but they're so upset right now", and about a zillion other pretexts. Every time I'd go to church, or to a church function, the Spirit was relentless. And I mean, relentless!! It was like there was this bar in front of my path, and it just wouldn't move! Like I couldn't go any further with God until I confessed. Oh, Satan kept clawing at my soul and doing what he does best-lying to me. Finally, God moved. I can't tell you what came over me. I really can't. Other than just saying "Glory to God forever!!" I'd had this song on my heart for a while, called Jesus Lord of Heaven by Phil Wickham. And the phrase that kind of captivated me was "Jesus your love has no bounds." NO bounds? None?? It blew my mind! It spoke to the darkest part of my soul. Jesus' love has absolutely NO bounds!!! Suddenly, this shift happened in my soul. I'd been in thought all day, and finally, on one 20 minute bus ride home I decided that this was IT. I did NOT want to keep on having this barrier, and I was going to confess my sins first thing when I got home. I went home, got on the computer, almost in a daze, and typed up my confession letter, setting the song I loved to repeat and playing it over and over. Then I emailed it to my parents-and we talked about it the next day. The reaction was so much different than I'd thought it would be. In fact, they were proud of me! They embraced me and forgave me and I felt a freedom I had not felt in years. And from then on, God has worked wonders in my life. I love how Joy said she'd experienced a "spiritual growth-spurt" because that's what's happened to me! Jesus' love has no bounds! Praise God!

Kennedy

Confused...
on Thursday, July 28, 2011 at 12:11 am

I guess i have anxiety for a while now.. My parents are divorced. It feels like my thoughts control me. If I think it's possible something bad could happen, I mean really bad, I believe it. And It doesn't stop. I have problems with letting go. If I told anyone the thoughts I think they would freak. I believe that I cant control myself., like I have to believe a lie to feel better.

Summer Girl

dont know what to do
on Sunday, August 14, 2011 at 8:34 pm

i read the lies young women believe book for a school assignment and i didn't think it would affect me at all. while i was reading it a lot of things stuck out to me but didn't really stick with me after i was done. i have a sin that i have been committing for the past year. and i don't know how to tell anyone. i am scared of people judging me. i dont know who to tell either. i have some good friends who care for me, but i dont know if they are wise enough to tell. recently i have gotten more imprisoned by this sin and i am done with feeling so caged and i feel like im living two lives. i didnt know where else to turn other than this blog. i cant take this weight of guilt anymore. how could God keep forgiving me?

Lorree, with the LYWB team

re: Summer Girl
on Wednesday, August 17, 2011 at 4:59 pm

I encourage you to find an older, wise Christian who you trust and can talk to. It might be your mom or your youth pastor, or an older woman in your church. But you need to share this with someone. They can pray for you, encourage you and hold you accountable by checking on you in the days ahead. As long as your sin is in the dark, it has power over you. Once you confess it to someone and bring it out into the light, you will find freedom.

You don’t need to carry the guilt of your sin, friend! God brings conviction to our souls in order to draw us into a right relationship with Him (Jn16:7-11). As long as there is un-confessed sin in our lives, there is a barrier between us and God. You can boldly go before God’s throne and confess the sin to the Lord, friend! He is faithful and will forgive you this sin! That is why He sent Jesus to die on the cross – He died for all your sins – past, present and future. He keeps on forgiving because that is who He is. It is part of His character. His love knows no bounds, friend (Ps. 103:10-13). Praying for you!

Chloe

I Am So Thankful!
on Friday, August 19, 2011 at 12:39 am

I consider myself to be very fortunate because my best friend is one of the strongest teenage Christians that I have ever known. This helps so much, because since we both have a relationship with God we can confess our sins to each other and even talk to each other about things that we are struggling with. In fact, I feel as though I can tell her anything and I think that she feels the same way about me. Because of this we can give each other *spiritual* advice, instead of just worldly.

mandy

its a long story, but here goes....
on Sunday, August 12, 2012 at 1:25 am

Speaking of sin is very difficult for me, I am 21 (almost 22) years old, and have been sexually active since i was 16. I havent had a personal relationship with God until recently, and I have a 1 year old son with a 34 year old man, whom i now believe was malipuating and controlling me and took advantage of my naitivity. when i was younger i went through a lot, my mother had married and divorced 3 controlling and manipulative men in a span of about 10 years, and i was lost, i didnt know about God's love and i didnt think he cared about me, and because of that, i basically did whatever i wanted and went "wherever the wind blew me". looking back now, i feel dirty and unworthy of his love, yet i KNOW he loves and cares for me deepy, i cant shake these shameful feelings, even as i walk with Him now. You say to confess and it will lighten your heart and you can be forgiven but i feel like if i tell everything ive done that its unforgivable, and theres SO much to tell i just dont know where to turn or what to do. my ex had isolated me from everyone that oved and cared for me and ive been isolated for so long that i dont think anyone cares any more (except the lord) and he knows whats in my heart and that im a good person. but i just feel so lost :( i want to be a good guide, spiritually, for my son as he grows up and becomes a man, and for that i need a pure heart, but im not sure where to start?

Lorree, with the LYWB team

Mandy
on Tuesday, August 14, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Oh, Mandy, how God loves you. I want to assure you that if you have confessed your sins to Him and asked for His forgiveness, He has forgiven you! He promises that in 1 Jn. 1:9. Our enemy will continue to bring it up and condemn you but you need to counsel your heart with the Truth that you are forgiven. Even if you don’t feel forgiven, that doesn’t change a thing. When Jesus died on the cross, He died for ALL your sins – past, present and future – there isn’t a one of them that He will not forgive you for! If you have received the Lord’s forgiveness and are still feeling condemned, that is not of God but of our enemy. Romans 8:1 says:

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Where to begin, Mandy? Start by getting into God’s Word on a daily basis. I hope you are connected to a local Bible teaching church. If not, that is a good place to start, too. Attending women’s Bible study would get you into the Word and provide the accountability and fellowship that we all need. You might even speak to your pastor to see if he might know of someone you could meet with on a regular basis. You need someone who can encourage you, pray for you, and keep you pointed towards Christ.

If you are open to receiving some counseling, the pastor might be able to help you. If not, you can find a counselor in your area at www.nanc.org. These are Biblically based counselors who often don’t charge anything but help others as a part of the ministry of their local church. Sharing your story with someone will truly bring some freedom into your life, Mandy. Our enemy has power in the secrets in our lives. But when we bring them out and share with another person, we remove the power he has over us.

I’ve prayed for you today, Mandy, thanking the Lord that you are seeking help and asking Him to guide you to someone you can trust as you begin to walk in the newness of life He has given to you. Thank you, for wanting to be a godly woman and the leader your son needs you to be.

creolen

I confess, Hear my Sin and Pray for me.
on Saturday, November 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm

It is my first time on this site at this hour and reading other stories has left me convicted to tell my sin.

I lost my virginity at the age of 17 To a boy i dearly loved and wanted to "Prove" to him i loved him. I was a popular girl in high school and therefore he had assumed i was not a virgin but i could not bring myself to say i was as i for some odd reason feared loosing him to the "experienced" girls.

I started watching pornography before i lost my virginity to try and firgure out what sex really was as it was often spoken about in my group of friends and the temptation and curiosity drove me to pornography. (Which i started watching at age 16)

After i lost my virginity to my first boyfriend, I was humiliated, i could not face myself but after a few months of abstaining due to guilt, Another boy walked into my life and i loved im more than anything, i could closely say "He was my first love", We had sex all the time, I remember even begging him to have sex with me because It felt different and eternal and put my shame away.

I was never afraid of pregnancy until it happened.I fell pregnant in my matric year and i only found out when i was precisely 16 weeks pregnant from our family doctor when my mother insisted i go as i had been complaining about being sick non stop.

The minute i found out i was pregnant, i knew i had to get rid of it, or get rid of myself. after failed attempts on trying to overdose and kill the fetus, i went bck to my doctor who had told me to come back if i had changed my mind about terminating, I chose to terminate my 1st born baby and I felt it was my last one.

I had always felt guilt and never wanted to know God for i felt unholy and unworthy and always made fun of the lord and his followers, I started drinking, smoking, partying.

After having broken up with the father of my 1st child-till today he does not know i was pregnant and i fear telling him as he could tell my parents who know him and his family very well. I went to Tertiary the following year and thats where the real drinking, smoking and partying happened.

I met a new guy who loved me dearly, i had countless sex with him to hide my past and wish i never did what i did. He was too good for me, a God fearing man, always talking about God as if he was the only person alive in his world. All the praying before we ate and rebuking my evil ways made me want to hide even deeper within my shell, he didnt deserve me, he didnt want to let me go, but i chose to let him go.

After him, I found another man, I my graduate year of studies (3rd year) and i never had feelings for him, but sexual disires, i wanted to use him...I used him. In the process blocked all things of the past and future, until i started feeling sick, getting bloodshot red eyes, serious cramps, couldnt eat, walk, i was always dehydrated and thought i was going to die...I was pregnant again, little did i know. I feared terminating again because of the TERRIBLE pain i went through the first time, like somebody is sucking out your interstines with a vacum. it was HORIFIC. But i terminated again

I couldnt stand to disappoint my father, and mother, he was going to make an example of me and i come from a big family with a number of female sibings and i had to be an example to the younger ones and respect the elder ones.

After that, I found Jesus. I remember praying to God and with tears of pain and loss, i asked and begged for forgiveness. Id stopped smoking, stopped drinking, stopped it all and waited , waited , waited for healing.

7 months ago, A christian campus counsellor lead me to getting saved and baptised. i got saved, baptised under water and repented of all my sins but NOT the terminations. I am still to this day in a beautiful church with a very supportive home cell, new loving christian friends and I just wish i could allow myself to tell of my sins.

I am scared of the embarrassment and gossip it will cause but at the same time, it is stopping me from giving in to God fully because i feel even though God alone knows, i need to tell someone and be open about it.
I do not want to lie and say it was recommended by the doctors or, they were still born or they died in my womb....i want to tell the trutj, i owe God that much.

Please help me let it out. Help me gain the confidence and courage to tel people close to me face2face. and face judgement from the world

Love
Born again child of God in Bondage.

Last Edit: on Sunday, November 4, 2012 at 3:58pm by cgaul

Carrie, with the LYWB team

@ creolen
on Sunday, November 4, 2012 at 4:23 pm

We’re so glad you’ve discovered the LYWB Blog and we’re thrilled you’ve recently come to know Jesus as your Lord and Savior, Friend. There is nothing more important than being in a right relationship with Jesus and nothing more freeing that realizing the Lord is able to bring beauty out of the ashes of your pain.

“To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the LORD has planted for his own glory (Is. 61:3).”

We think you’re brave for telling your story, Creolen. We’re so proud of you. One of our Team will be responding to your questions this week, but we wanted you to know we’ve slightly edited your comment to protect the innocence of our younger readers.

Know you’re being prayed for today.

Sarah, with the LYWB team

@creolen...
on Friday, November 9, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Thank you for your post. We are so glad to hear that you have a new found relationship with Christ. You are on an adventure that nothing else in this life can compare to—that of knowing Christ and His grace, mercy, forgiveness, loving-kindness, compassion, long-suffering, and more. As you get to know Him more and more, your heart will enlarge and you will find your love for Him in return will be magnified. There is just nothing like it!

I encourage you to go back to the campus counselor that led you to Christ and talk with her about what is going on in your heart. See if she can help you take the steps you need to take to find relief from the weight of this sin, or can lead you to a godly woman who can help you. Secondly, listen to this testimony, Free At Last, by one of the ladies on our True Woman ’12 speaker team. You will find it at this link: http://www.truewoman.com/assets/media/2012/TW12GriffithBreakout.MP3. I trust you will find great freedom in knowing the truth of your situation. You can trust God to help you know what to do, who to talk to, and how to appropriately work through this confession. James 1:5 says He gives wisdom to those who ask, so continue to seek Him for His help and direction. Know that I have prayed for you.

Being open about your sin and your repentance does not mean that you need to tell “everyone” the particular details about your past and sin. Confession brings relief from bondage. If you forsake your sin, which is what repentance is, you are free of that sin. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness”. (1 John 1:9) I pray you will come to understand and know for certain that ALL of your sin was nailed to the cross—past, present and future sin. When you asked for forgiveness of your sins and accepted Christ, that encompassed ALL of your sin. Talk with your pastor about how to appropriate this forgiveness in your heart and mind, and leave the bondage of the shame of past sin.

Elyse Fitzpatrick says that when you are saved, you are “justified—meaning just-as-if-I’d never sinned, and just-as-if-I’d always obeyed.” I pray you will soon know the joy of a cleansed heart and life, and the joy of knowing you stand before Him today clean and pure and robed in the garments of righteousness. “I will greatly rejoice in the LORD; my soul shall exult in my God, for He has clothed me with the garments of salvation; He has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.” (Isaiah 61:10) For your encouragement, listen to her message "Because He Loves Me" at this link: http://www.truewoman.com/assets/media/2012/TW12FitzpatrickBreakout.MP3.

Don’t hesitate to let me know if you have further questions. I post this with a prayer that God will meet your every need and that you will find freedom in Him!

God bless you dear precious daughter of the King.

Advice please...
on Friday, December 28, 2012 at 4:15 am

Each time I have sinned, I have never confessed it to other people, GOD always allows me to be caught out by my parents.
At first, I was in huge trouble, but now I'm glad that my parents found out everytime.
There's one particular sin that has already come into the open, but I just can't seem to get over the guilt of it. This is because it's something me and my sister did. I feel terrible about it. It's already out in the open and I've asked GOD for forgiveness to all my sins. The accuser just keeps on bringing up this particular sin. Although one of my parents found out what I did, should I still confess it to some one else.
P.s: I've been delivered from all these sins.

Lorree, with the LYWB team

@ K
on Monday, December 31, 2012 at 2:27 pm

I’m thankful that you see the benefits to your parents finding out about your sins! That is one of the beautiful ways God uses parents to keep us on the right track in our relationship with God. You have done the right thing by seeking God’s forgiveness.

Two things could be happening, K. It could be that the accuser is working overtime in your thoughts. If that is the case, speak truth to him. Tell him that you have sought God’s forgiveness and you are forgiven.

On the other hand, if the sin that you did affected anyone else, you may actually be hearing from the Holy Spirit. If this is the case, you need to seek the other person’s forgiveness as well, so that you can have a clear conscience. Have you sought your sister’s forgiveness for this—for being involved in the sin and not standing up for what was right? Was anyone else sinned against? If so, I encourage you to pray about it, talk it over with your parents if necessary, and go to that person to seek their forgiveness (Matt. 5:23- 24). By addressing either of these situations, you will be walking in obedience as you seek to live with a clear conscience before God and man. I’m praying for your wisdom, your courage and for God’s direction in what steps you should take in this, K.

Thanks
on Thursday, January 3, 2013 at 2:37 am

Thankyou.
In this case, it's the accuser who is making me feel dirty and shameful.

PS
on Thursday, January 3, 2013 at 2:41 am

I'm dealing with him through my relationship with GOD.
GOD is continually helping me see that I am cleansed.

Write a comment

Blog Ground-Rules

If you want us to publish your comments, stick to these guidelines:

No crude or profane language.
No hurtful comments targeted at other girls.
No personal information such as email addresses or MySpace and Facebook accounts. (This is for your own protection.)
Protect the innocence of others. (Not everyone has had the same experiences.)

Topics:

Share with a Friend Email Sign Up

Archives: