I'm Committed To Purity Until . . .

posted by Erin Davis on 09/07/11 | Twitter: @ErinGraffiti
Category: Relationships; ; 112 comments

woman with heart in front of faceI've noticed something lately among the young women we hear from here on the blog. Many of you are committed to purity—meaning you're willing to wait on God's timing for love, romance, and physical intimacy. That is until you're tested and then it seems, all too often, those plans for purity fly right out the window.

Here are some examples of what I've heard from young women just like you.

  • I'm committed to purity until a cute boy who I really like pays attention to me.
  • I'm committed to purity until a sexually charged movie comes out and all my friends are talking about it. Of course I'm going to watch it, too. It's just a movie, right?
  • I'm committed to purity until my boyfriend and I fall in love.
  • I'm committed to purity until a song with steamy lyrics comes out with a catchy beat.

Or here's the one I seem to be hearing most often lately.

  • I'm committed to purity until I reach the age that I'm tired of being single, at which point I'm willing to compromise because I thought I'd be married by now.

Basically these girls have told me that they are committed to purity until there is a cost. That means there's not really a commitment at all.

Before I go any further, let me give you my definition of purity. I'm not just talking about waiting to cross the BIG line before you're married, although that's certainly a part of remaining pure. I'm talking about waiting on God's timing for romance, maintaining standards of physical contact that reserve the very best of you for marriage, and protecting your heart and mind from ideas about love that don't line up with God's standards. Under that definition of purity, we all have work to do (even us old, married types). I'd guess that most of us are guilty of saying we stand for purity until we get tired of waiting, or protecting, or guarding, and then we renege on our decision to do things God's way.

When I was pondering how to respond to the many girls who write to me with stories of pure until _____, I dug into God's Word for some guidance. Check out what I found:

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up (Gal. 6:9).

Maintaining pure thoughts, pure actions, and pure relationships is tough. Let me try again. It's difficult, backbreaking, brutal, strenuous, trying, arduous ... well, you get the point. But if we only keep our commitment to God's standards while they're easy, we stand to lose out, big time!

My goal isn't to beat you over the head with another message about why purity matters or to make you feel battered if you've messed up in this area, but rather to say keep going, girl! Purity is possible. Purity is worth it. Stand firm.

Striving for purity can certainly wear us out, but Galatians 6:9 tells us not to become weary of doing the good God has called us to. And what is the promise? That eventually, if we hold our ground, we will snag the victory.

So here's a homework assignment for the very brave among you.

Leave us a comment below that fills in the following sentence:

I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until ...

I promise we won't make fun of you, or chastise you, or criticize you. My goal is to help you think through weak spots in your battle plan for purity and to give us an opportunity to encourage you to keep doing good.

Ready. Set. Type!

Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

    Charli Rae
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until...
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 10:22 am
    Until God's plans for me come to be! At least, it's easy to say. :P I'm fifteen and have only had very small, insignificant testing, but I'm gonna stick to the belief that God is sheltering me, rather than waiting for the 'big test' to come up. I heard this somewhere once... "God thought my lovestory was good enough to be written before the beginning of time. It's gotta be good."
    Striving
    weak spot
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 10:25 am
    I find it easy to stick to purity until I'm alone, and tired.
    Megan
    I find it easy...
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 10:34 am
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards of purity until a song with inappropriate lyrics comes out and it's popular and i feel SO left out. or a movie with sexual images and all that stuff. But I'm learning :)
    Marietta
    Homework..
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 10:43 am
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until ... Marriage
    Miss T
    Committed 2 Purity
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 10:57 am
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until .....

    I start talking/dating a guy who I clearly know isn't a firm believer in the word of God, but my flesh wants to please the guy, my flesh wants this guy to like me at all costs.......

    I have been praying and asking the Lord for guidance and I know it was only Him that put this website in my path last night. EVERYTHING I have been praying about has been in this blog. I started talking to a guy knowing that our ways of life was totally different the deal breaker should have been the fact that he doesn't go to church and knows nothing about The Word of God. This blog helped me realize that I can be his friend, but I have to draw the line somewhere. Like this article and some of the other articles imply that we as Christians have to draw the line BUT we have to realize that the guy/girl we like doesn't have a relationship with Christ and therefore won't understand why you decide to stay pure. I know from personal experience that they will push your buttons just to see how FAR you will go, but the BIBLE says there is ALWAYS a way of escape. I am 22 years old and I encourage my young counterparts to wait because you don't want to be emotionally open with anyone except Christ and your husband.

    I pray many blessings on the young women who read this blog that they decide to do or continue to do what's right. Don't let the lifestyles of other people cause you to question your beliefs. DARE 2 BE DIFFERENT!!!

    ****So thank you to all that make this blog possible****
    Christine
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until...
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 10:57 am
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until I get tried and tempted by the devil when he brings a sexy movie of some foul song. I have friend's I try to minister to and when they listen or watch this kind of filth, I walk out...because I know I'm going to be tempted.
    Shanni
    Until . . .
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 11:12 am
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until a guy that I'm interested in or his family pays attention to me.
    I find it easy to stick to purity until the movie that i am watching turns bad.
    I find it easy to stick to purity until i am plagued with boy craziness.

    Love,
    Shanni
    Kenzi
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until...
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 12:03 pm
    All my friends are getting into boy/girl relationships. And they all have a guy or guys that like them and I feel left out or I'm not worth anything because guys don't like me or pursue me. I've wanted to wait for my future husband since I was like 11 and I'm 15 now well I will be in 2 weeks to the day! So, I start thinking well maybe it would be okay to pursue that guy... Maybe it would be okay to flirt maybe he would like me... And for the past couple weeks I've totally been thinking that it's okay to get into a romantic relationship right now but that's totally against what I believe and what I think God believes "I charge you daughters of Jerusalem do not stir up or awaken love until its time" paraphrase of Song of Solomon 8:4 I'm 15 I can't get married for at least another 3 years. So why get into a relationship that will not only bring heartache now but also into my marriage. It will bring heartache to me, my husband and my children. I wait because of them so they won't have to go thru divorce and now my dad and step mom are getting divorced and my mom and step dad used to fight ALL the time they've gotten better thanks to the grace of God. But I won't date or give any piece of my heart to ANYONE until I am engaged and God has undoubtly told me that THIS is your future husband! I just think about the day when I can look my husband in the eyes and say I waited for you and it was worth every bit of pain and lonliness and the wait. And God will be sitting in heaven smiling and crying tears of joy over us and saying well done My child and my children will rise up and call me blessed for waiting for them.

    I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH!!!!!!!!!!
    SUE H
    Purity until...
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 12:15 pm
    Erin, Thank you so much once again for allowing the Holy Spirit to speak through your written words. I lead a high school girls bible study and we just had a full blown Purity retreat with Dannah's "And the Bride Wore White" curriculum in August! It was amazing! A lot of hard work, but soooo worth it! I find myself as a leader/mentor of these girls growing weary at times and wonder if any of this gets through. Then I read one of your blogs like today and am so supercharged once again with the passion God has given me for these young women. This is a great follow up to our retreat message. We start up this week with our fall schedule for girls bible study and I will use this blog as a spring board. God is so faithful. Thank you.
    Tippi
    Purity until ...
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 12:48 pm
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until ... guy friends of mine are nice to me, show a little interest in me and I start hanging around them a lot. That's when I sometimes start thinking romantic thoughts. I wish I wasn't so dependent on other people's approval and affection.
    Beth
    Purity
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 1:09 pm
    I find it easy to remain pure until I am married. I want to save myself for for that one that God has for me...at times I may be tempted...but I will preserve myself for him, because I know that is what God wants me to do!
    skye
    Re:
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 2:45 pm
    I find it easy to stick to God's purity until I see a cute Guy and I want him to notice me and talk to me. Then when a Guy just talks to me I have thoughts of us dating and being romantic. I Just really want to look at guys as friends or my brothers and that's it right now.
    Dani
    Purity Until......
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 3:06 pm
    I find it easy to stick to God's purity until....
    - there is a really good/catchy song with lyrics that arent so modest. i dont necissarily agree with what the lyrics are saying, but i like the beat of the song so i tend to listen to them anyway.
    -i watch movies with "the perfect boyfriend" and i end up wanting one too. i want to feel loved and accepted. In the movies the guy is always there and is caring and you feel pretected. so then i end up wanting that kind of guy.
    -i start having thoughts bombarding me about my guy friends. they are thoughts that i dont want to have at all but they creep into my mind. i dont think of them as future boyfriends normally but then the thought sometimes creeps in. and after i still only think of them as friends. so then it makes me really confused as to why the thought entered my mind in the first place.
    - until i start thinking thoughts that i do not want in my head, which leads to a secret sin that i am still working on overcoming. and figuring out who the right person is to tell.
    I have a purity ring and sometimes i convince myself that i am holding my promise to God because i havent crossed that boundary that is only crossed when married. but when i really think about it, i have broken my promise for purity becasue i have watched sexual movies, i have listened to immodest songs, i have had thoughts about guys. all this still counts as breaking my promise to God.
    Thank you so much for posting this blog! it has made me realize areas that i need to work on and overcome. We are all living in a world where we have to battle for our purity, and i am going to make sure i fight for mine. and then i will get rewarded someday :)
    Erin Davis
    SUE H.
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 3:10 pm
    I am so glad the Lord used this blog to strengthen and encourage the message you taught your girls. Thanks for being a Truth Speaker in their lives. You're right, it's a lot of work...but totally worth it!

    Grace and Peace!

    Erin Davis
    sarah
    purity at 14
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 3:30 pm
    I'm only 14 so I haven't had any huge decisions on purity but I have struggled with the songs and movies that r out there....and talking about guys and stuff with my friends...but thqt has gotten a lot better, thanks to God! But also I have been struggling with lustful thought about guys so if that counts and impurity...than I'm still working on that one!!
    Thanks for the.post really great encouragment!
    God bless
    Heather Sv.
    Re:
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 4:26 pm
    I'm afraid that as I get older, I'll become more anxious that God doesn't have a man for my future, and that I'll find one myself and settle. I just really, really don't want to be alone. =_(
    aftergod'sown<3
    Lies Vs. Truth
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 4:55 pm
    Until I begin to believe the world's lies and neglect God's promises. Sometimes lies can actually seem very much like the truth, especially when i haven't been in God's Word lately. This is why His Scripture is so important!
    Deanna
    Homework
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 5:04 pm
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until ... I hang out with my friends who choose not to follow God's way. It's extremely difficult, and it is starting to wear on me. I just wish I could find a group of girls in my school who shared the same views on purity, instead of being scoffed at by those around me.
    beth
    re:
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 5:26 pm
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until ...

    -when there is a cute guy in general.
    -when I watch a movie and things turn sexual.
    -when I listen to songs that talk about romance, or finding love and you start to fantisize about that.
    -romance novels, even the christian ones!
    -when I have a conversation with friends about what our weddings will be like.
    -when a guy flirts with me.
    -one thing that I hate is when I think about my guy friends in a romantic way. that happens more often than I'd like... to be honest.

    now here is a biggy... when there is an attractive christian guy that has a crush on me. that is the hardest for me.

    this is probably one of my favorite posts so far... I am so glad you guys don't sugar coat the truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you guys are a huge blessing. I wish I could just talk with the LYWB group and just be mentored and discipled... I feel like where I live no one does that, or realizes how much young girls need that. I sort of feel like you guys are all I have... besides my parents and sister. I love you guys!!!!!!! thank you SO much for your obedience to God in doing this for many girls.
    beth
    re: Deanna
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 5:30 pm
    I totally know how you feel!! I wish the same for me too... you know, just having other girls to hang out with that have the same views I do. I haven't found that yet... I haven't even found that through my church friends. I'll be praying for you... I know how tough it truly is. God bless you, girl!! :D
    Stephanie
    It's Easy Until...
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 5:33 pm
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until... I let my mind wander. I've never had a boyfriend...they just don't seem interested in me, which can be equally helpful with purity but also a little hurtful (since I'm not being pursued, I sometimes feel a little bad). From time to time, I let my mind wander and often I wonder what it might be like to have a boyfriend. I know I need to wait for God's perfect timing, but sometimes it's really hard not to think about what could be right now instead of waiting out God's plans for me and my future husband.
    HisGrace
    Until...
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 6:14 pm
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until...I'm alone, lonely, and depressed. It's easy when someone is there looking over your shoulder all of the time, but when you're alone...when you feel like nobody is watching...
    The_Good_Miss_Lollipop
    Re:
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 6:49 pm
    Wait... is flirting wrong? I get it if you're "pursuing" the guy, but what if you're just returning the favor?

    How else is a guy supposed to know you're interested?
    AbbyS
    OH man.
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 6:56 pm
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until ...

    I'm alone in the room with that guy who has a piece of my heart! It's like everything that I've believed in all these years goes out the window and suddenly the rules don't apply to me anymore. I look like a hypocrite because I can't seem to keep my hands to myself.

    It's harder when you're older bc you start thinking, "Well... I'm just in a new stage of my life. This is okay bc I SHOULD be thinking about courting/marriage etc." When the reality is... It's NOT okay. And I'm just making excuses for my sin. I never ever ever thought I'd compromise like I do now, but here I am, at 19, and I'm fighting every single day of my life to make sure he and I do not cause any more people to stumble. He's amazing, but that doesn't mean I should hop off the purity train and God's protection, and start running obnoxiously into something that makes me feel good...
    Heidi
    Purity until...
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 8:09 pm
    ...my wedding vows escape my lips. I believe that with God's help, I can avoid compromising situations, and that even with the man I love, before I'm married God will be faithful and help me to wait.
    Ashley
    Purity Until....
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 9:39 pm
    Marriage. i am praying all the time to wait for the right man comes along to sweep me in to Gods love story for me. I have a cousin who is actually waiting to and is older than me and that is encouraging to me. I read two books this past summer called "Authentic Beauty" and Set Apart Femininity" written by Leslie Ludy who went through times where she couldn't wait until God's time in her life but then she saw that God had placed her dream man right next to her as her best friend since she was young. So if you are struggling with purity i recommend to read these books they help. God Bless You and stay strong!!!
    anonymous
    Purity...
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 10:34 pm
    I am committed to keeping my heart and body pure forever. I think purity doesn't just last until marriage, even though virginity might. I believe that purity comes as a gift from God. So I have committed to saving my first kiss for my husband. My mind starts thinking impurely when I read a steamy part in a book, or hear about something like that, though. I pray to God that He will take those thoughts away when they do come. I'll be trying to pray for everyone else here too though!=) By the way, TOTALLY recommend that every single person here read "And the Bride Wore White..." by Dannah Gresh. It is an AMAZINGLY eye-opening book on purity. Get a copy and read it! Love ya sisters!
    Annamaria
    Purity Until.....
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 10:39 pm
    Until the movie or song that comes on that sends me into a IUmpure rampage.....

    and a question....What does the bible say about masterbbation?Is this impure?
    Jo
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards of purity until...
    on Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 10:54 pm
    I'm lonely, tired, feel unloved or feel unattractive

    Or when I think puriy will mean I'm alone for life...
    Carina
    Purity
    on Thursday, September 8, 2011 at 3:49 am
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until... A boy starts pursuing me...

    Thanks for that Kenz, you made me cry :) YES!! We can do ALL THINGS THROUGH HIM WHO GIVES US STRENGTH =D love ya girl <3

    Love To All My Beautiful Sisters In Christ,
    Carina
    m
    Homework
    on Thursday, September 8, 2011 at 8:10 am
    I find it easy to stick to purity until God
    wants me to get married
    becky
    purity until....
    on Thursday, September 8, 2011 at 9:35 am
    when i was younger and i had a crush on a guy, i found it really hard to keep my minde on purity. Now i;m not saying that it's so terribly easy now, i'm just saying that now that i'm a bit older especially spiritually it's not as hard but i do still struggle with it especially when a cute guy comes along which is right now actually. how ironic is that. love becky
    becky
    purity until....
    on Thursday, September 8, 2011 at 9:36 am
    when i was younger and i had a crush on a guy, i found it really hard to keep my minde on purity. Now i;m not saying that it's so terribly easy now, i'm just saying that now that i'm a bit older especially spiritually it's not as hard but i do still struggle with it especially when a cute guy comes along which is right now actually. how ironic is that. love becky
    Jessie
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until ...
    on Thursday, September 8, 2011 at 9:36 am
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until ...I see all the other couples or watch a romance or hear a romantic song. Or until I am tempted to watch something that isn't good. Thank you so much for this post! I really needed it!
    Libs
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until
    on Thursday, September 8, 2011 at 11:21 am
    ... I catch a glimpse or a hint of impurity/sexual temptation and my flesh freaks out.
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    Annamaria
    on Thursday, September 8, 2011 at 11:29 am
    LYWB has two great posts that will help to answer your questions about masturbation.

    http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=271

    http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=291

    Blessings,
    Carrie
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    The Good Miss Lollipop
    on Thursday, September 8, 2011 at 11:39 am
    Erin wrote a great post (http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=525) that will help you understand flirting from God’s perspective, friend.

    Blessings,
    Carrie _
    love like Him
    staying pure
    on Thursday, September 8, 2011 at 3:35 pm
    until...I realize in 10 days Ill be 17 and never been on a date. Sounds lame right? but yeah waiting is so much harder than we want it to be.
    Joyy:')
    Boy troubles...as usual.
    on Thursday, September 8, 2011 at 4:39 pm
    So I recently brok up with my boyfriend..I was having a hard time being in a relationhsip.I'm really young and not ready for it....It was hard to do,but not as hard as it is now that summer's over.I told my mom and (Christian) friends how I was feeling and they told me it's a good idea to wait till i'm older and that it'll b worth it in the end.School started and its very small so I see him in all my classes and stuff..Its hurts cuz I still like him and now he's hurting and we're not really speaking at all.I thought we could go back to being friends when it ended cuz it was only 2 months into it...I keep thinking I shuld get back with him and it hurts that I shouldnt but I dont want to.Its just hard seeing him everyday.I go home and just cry sometimes. I know its smart 2 wait till we're older (closer to marriage) bcuz rite now im not and I have no idea who Im gonna marry and I just want to wait till im closer to knowing.But right now it hurts sooooo much and I want him back but i dont..Does anybody know what I can do to help me know its for the best?I really wanna feel better and not so depressed..I really need help from God but I guess I just dont know what to do,,Can anybody helpp?? tht would b awesome :')
    Katherine
    Re:
    on Thursday, September 8, 2011 at 5:50 pm
    its easy for me to be committed to purity until either
    1. i get lonely and then all of a sudden a guy starts paying attention to me. or
    2. i start listening to a lot of non christian love songs.
    Thando
    Purity
    on Thursday, September 8, 2011 at 8:17 pm
    It's easy for me to be committed to purity until I watch movies with inappropriate scenes that get my thoughts thinking impure things. Or when my guy friends are being nice to me. Also if I'm alone and start listening to all these love songs and desire to have such feelings for someone and have them desire me.
    a (slightly) older woman
    perspective from a young wife and mom
    on Thursday, September 8, 2011 at 9:13 pm
    I happened across this blog while looking for something else on "Revive Our Hearts", and skimmed over some of the comments. I am a mom of two preschoolers, in my early 30s, who married my high school sweetheart and was (somewhat) committed to purity before that. I can tell you that while I held out for years on sex itself, I pushed the boundaries up to that point. This has affected my marriage, and even has made me doubt the will of God in ordaining my marriage (i.e. I know we sinned; how do I know I followed God's will in marrying my husband?). Recently I have had memories brought to mind that make me wonder about how I handled friendships with some of my other guy friends, including one in particular with whom I was flirtatious but otherwise very reserved and "pure", and great friends. Girls, I'm talking here about guys I met when I was 14 years old and have known ever since. I'm so glad that some of you who are that young are thinking and praying about these issues. I'm here to tell you that, absolutely, how you interact with your teenage/college guy friends (even just in your mind, even when you're acting "right") is so important, and like me, you may years later see how events that seemed small and minor actually intertwined significantly with the course of your life. Literally, a simple decision to go out on one casual date now, or to not pursue friendship with a certain nice guy, will figure in to your life's plan. I wish I had prayed more about this when I was your age! If you're old enough to be having such thoughts at all, you *are* old enough to be thinking about guys and marriage--just be sure to consult God first, and often! Don't ever take your opposite-sex friendships lightly--you never know where they may go.
    laura
    Purity Until
    on Thursday, September 8, 2011 at 10:36 pm
    I find it easy to stay pure until it comes to homecoming season and everyone has a date but me. then i want to compromise. :/
    Janine
    What is exactly the reason why you stay pure?
    on Friday, September 9, 2011 at 9:03 am
    Some people preach about maintaining purity for a future husband. But what about those women who are called for lifetime singleness? Should they save their heart and body for something they could never have? I mean, if you stay pure, what for? For your future husband- if you have a future husband?

    I mean, some women save themselves and stay pure for a future husband... and then they get old (50,60,70...) but they are still single, then they get bitter at God. They say "purity is useless because God did not give me a husband!"

    I believe that we should focus to make God our sole reason for staying pure, that we should free ourselves of any sexual immorality for God alone, not for your future husband. If you stay pure primarily for a husband so that you'll have better intimacy with your husband, if God does not give you a husband, you'll be bitter!

    If God is the main reason why we stay pure, we'll be happy, with or without a husband.

    Well, God commanded us to stay pure, not just for the sake of future husbands, so that we will not experience guilt and pain caused by embracing all kinds of sexual immorality.
    (Bottom line: you don't need a guy, you don't have to be married, you don't need sex, ....but you need to stay pure, whether we'll be married or not, whether we'll enjoy sex in marriage bed or not, so that God will be delighted in you and you'll be spared from so much pain caused by our sexual immorality!)
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    Joyy
    on Friday, September 9, 2011 at 9:39 am
    Dear Joyy,

    I know the pain of breaking up can seem incredibly overwhelming. I’m sorry you’re struggling so right now.

    There is no quick formula for working through the pain of a broken heart, Joyy. You must simpy choose (sometimes minute by minute) to trust that your mom and your friends are able to see beyond your pain and are encouraging you in the path this right. This pain will not last forever, dear friend! And more importantly Jesus is saying something to you in your pain. He is able to use even this painful trial for His purposes in your life.

    Here’s a quote from one of my favorite little devotional books Jesus Lives by Susan Young. I’m praying it will encourage you today to press on through your pain, Joyy.

    “When you’re feeling sad, I want you to anticipate feeling joyful again. This take the sting out of your sorrow, because you know it is only temporary. Sadness tends to duplicate itself along the timeline- convincing you that you will always be unhappy. But that is a lie! I urge you to turn away from the lie, choosing rather to trust ME and all I have promised you.”

    “Therefore you now have sorrow; but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you ( John 16:22) NKJV”

    Can’t wait to hear what our Great God has in store for you in the days ahead, dear friend!

    Grace and peace,
    Carrie
    Lydia
    purity until
    on Friday, September 9, 2011 at 7:00 pm
    i find it easy to be pure until
    -books. i LOVE books, but sooo many books have some type of sex/make-out scene
    -lonliness. i reall want a bf. BAD. but im trying to stop thinking about it.
    there are probably others, but i cant remember them at the moment. i kinow that having a purity ring helps me a lot. its just a physical reminder of my promise to myself. plus it shows guys (and my non chirstian friends) what my goal is.
    Mikayla
    Purity
    on Friday, September 9, 2011 at 9:19 pm
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until I see others around me not acting in the way I don't feel is modest. Then, I sometimes feel really plain and not as attractive. But I know that God's plan is the best plan. God made each of us, and He knows what is best for us.
    By the way, this post was a good reminder that purity is the best.

    Love to all my sisters in Christ,
    Mikayla
    Becky
    Re:
    on Friday, September 9, 2011 at 11:26 pm
    I'm commited to purity until...
    -I'm alone
    -I'm weary of doing good
    -I hear that catchy tune on the radio
    Anna Ludwika
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until ...
    on Saturday, September 10, 2011 at 4:35 am
    it's summer vacation time and I have too much time and not enough to do... there are too much activities that can compromise the pure thought and so much movies and all the temptations of being 24 and being allowed by the world to do almost anything...
    It also doesn't help to attend weddings of my female friends one after another.

    But when it comes to times of being tired and cold and lonely and wishing for a man to hug and comfort you I found an answer already. and it is really simple. Just ask Jesus to hug you and warm you up and help you. It really works and you get the best man there is to do that :)

    It also helps to pray to God to provide activities to pour your heart and love into and use the gift of feelings and love and desire to care for others that He has given us as women.
    Krlosier
    joyy
    on Saturday, September 10, 2011 at 11:55 am
    Hey girl...
    I know what you are feeling and I know what you were dealing with! It hurts me to watch you go through school in pain, and I know that it really hurts you.
    But I just want you to know how proud I am of you. I know how much it hurt to make the right decision, but you should know that God is def gonna bless you for it in the end. I know it hurts now, but now you are free to follow God's will. If everything you gave up for Him comes back to you, then yay! But if it doesn't, know then know that God has such a bigger plan for your life! I know it will be tough now, but draw close to God through this. And invest lots of time in Him and well as your family and friends. You def can't do this alone...you really need to continue to turn to Christ even if it feels like it doesn't help right away.
    Time heals too...I hated hearing that, but it's true. The first little while is awful, but it starts to get better....
    But you did the right thing. Trust me. I know it's hard and your emotions are screaming for you to go back...but don't because what you did was right...
    I want you to know that I will always be here for you, as you have been for me not too long ago. Love you!
    ~Kris
    Josephine
    I find it easy to stick to god's standards of purity until...
    on Saturday, September 10, 2011 at 12:03 pm
    Until someone wants to talk to me about their love life. It doesn't make me want to go out and do the same things but I know it is not right to join in on their conversation approvingly and present myself like them instead of showing that I am different and set apart...the light of the world and salt of the earth.
    Rachel
    Purity
    on Sunday, September 11, 2011 at 12:38 am
    Ladies, purity doesn't stop when you get married! Yes we need to keep ourselves pure before the Lord and for our husbands but purity needs to continue even after we're married. (There's a difference between being a virgin and leading a pure life, though both are important.)
    Mikka
    Confused..
    on Sunday, September 11, 2011 at 6:19 am
    Sorry , it seems like everyone posting understands this post. I personally don't, although im new to this blog. I have a few questions, I am hoping you will answer.

    1. Is it not okay to be in a relationship?

    2. How do i know when i am crossing the line ?

    3. Am i supposed to wait for god to send me a man?... A guy for me? I am so confused

    Basically i have a boyfriend and from the comments, i feel as though i may have to break up with him because it's not pure..? I am sorry if im coming off strong but I am genuinely confused...
    Kiana
    I stay pure until.......
    on Sunday, September 11, 2011 at 5:22 pm
    I stay- at least try anyway- until one of my uncles walk through the door. Not sure why but i have takin a liking to him. I have indirectly told my mom about in a conversation we were having, and she told me that it's not healthy or right. I knew that after I became a Christian. Finally I went to the Lord so many times that I can't count it, pleading with Him and asking Him to help me stop thinking unpure about my thinking.
    After awhile, it had just dissapeared a little bit. Not all of it but some. But now I try my very best that when I give him hugs( my uncle) the hugs are given as a side hug. But when I do that sometimes he can be just a little inappropriate with it. Im sure he doesnt really mean anything by it, but i need not to have that so i dont think unpure things.
    i_am_what_i've_overcome
    I stay pure untill
    on Sunday, September 11, 2011 at 10:48 pm
    it gets hard to stay pure in everything. How do you keep your heart and mind and everything pure all the time? It is so hard to do with all the sex-saturated stuff around us all the time. Any advice on keeping pure?
    You are beautiful <3
    Rosalie
    I stay pure until....
    on Monday, September 12, 2011 at 2:59 pm
    I stay pure until I start feeling alone.

    The way i begin to fall away from being pure isn't physical, it's spiritually and mentally; i begin to create romantic scenes in my head that don't quite align with God's word, and/or I start believing that i'm always going to be alone. All my friends have boyfriends and talk about going to various dancing and whatever with them, and I think they kind of forget that I won't be going since i don't have a date ect. It's hard, and sometimes i feel i'm too tired to go on, but I just need to know that God's already there. He's gone before me, and is always by my side.
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    Mikka
    on Monday, September 12, 2011 at 3:24 pm
    Hey, Mikka,

    We’re so glad you’ve joined us here at the LYWB Blog!

    You’ve asked some great questions! We have a number of posts listed under “ Guys” that will help answer your questions. (This link will take you to the list: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=30)


    How far is too far: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=684
    To date or not to date: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=661
    Is it ok to date just for fun: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=513

    Hope that helps... look forward to hearing from you again, Mikka.

    Grace,
    Carrie
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    i am what i've overcome
    on Monday, September 12, 2011 at 5:27 pm
    Hey, friend ~

    So thankful for your desire to have a pure heart! You’ve asked a great question!

    This link will take you to an EXCELLENT broadcast with two college age girls and their mom as they talk about practical ways they maintain a life of purity in this culture http://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/roh/today.php?pid=10920!

    Thanks for committing to do the hard things, friend!

    Carrie
    Shari
    Pure until...
    on Tuesday, September 13, 2011 at 11:47 am
    Until I start getting to know a guy more and see some type of husband-potential in him. If he is fun to talk to or good looking or loves the Lord or is independent and smart or any combination of the above, I take an express trip out of Imagination Station to Cloud 9. Anything that happens from then on, from walking past each other, to exchanging a few words in conversation then becomes fuel for a whole lot of anxiety, daydreaming and heartache. Thanks for the reminder that even innocent daydreaming compromises purity in our hearts; it's all too easy to forget. I definitely need to get on my knees the second I feel the temptation!
    Heather Sv.
    Re:
    on Tuesday, September 13, 2011 at 2:08 pm
    I've been really struggling for the past few days. I keep having thoughts that God doesn't care for me, that I'm not "good" enough, that I can never grow and become better. Logically, I know that God loves me because He is love, and I know that no one is "good" enough for Him- but when I read my Bible or I think about all the other godly people in my life, it just seems like I'll never match up. I keep trying to be better, but it's not working. I can't make myself change. I guess what I'm asking is.. are there any specific verses that anyone can think of to combat these thoughts of not being good enough or not being loved? Because this sucks. I hate this feeling. And I feel like my emotions are so fickle. Like one day I'll be really happy and full of hope for my future and full of joy, so happy and trusting that God loves me and will change my hard heart... and then other days my emotions do a 180 and I trudge through the day feeling really down and like there's no hope for me because my heart is too hard. I don't know.. sorry I'm rambling. =(
    Married
    It's ok!
    on Tuesday, September 13, 2011 at 3:56 pm
    To someone (now married) who used to think romantic thoughts were evil and that crushes were wrong, the comments on this thread are heartbreaking. I want to give you all big hugs and say ... It's OK! It's ok to have romantic thoughts. It's ok to think a boy is cute. It's ok to wonder if he likes you. It's ok to go out on a date with a boy you won't marry. It's ok to have relationships that don't go anywhere. It's ok to get your heart broken! It happens!

    All of this is normal. It's natural. It's all part of learning to be an adult and be independent. Please stop torturing yourselves. Learn to relax so that you can talk to boys.
    Last Edit: on Wednesday, September 14, 2011 at 8:39am by cgaul  
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    Heaver SV
    on Wednesday, September 14, 2011 at 5:56 pm
    Hey Heather SV.,

    You are not alone in your battle to take your thoughts captive! The enemy of your soul seeks to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10). He wants to kill your hope, steal your joy and destroy your faith in our great God who loves you beyond anything you can ever imagine! His target is your mind! If he can get you to believe a lie (I’m not good enough… God doesn’t love me etc.) then you will eventually begin to act upon that lie in your choices and decisions.

    You and I will never be “ good enough” to earn God’s favor, Heather SV. It is always and only the blood of Christ ( both before we are saved and after we are saved) that makes it possible for us to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. So when the accusations come storming into your mind, use them as a reminder to say, “ Thank you for reminding me that I am nothing, but because of Jesus love and sacrifice for me… I am not His beloved child and NOTHNG can ever separate me from His love ( Rom. 8: 35-39).

    I’m so proud of you for setting your heart to stay engaged in the battle for your mind, friend! God’s Word is more powerful than a double-edged sword! Here are a few verses that will help you get started:

    John 14:20 – “In that day you shall know that ‘ I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you.”
    Romans 8:1 – “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
    Ephesians 2:1-5 – You were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience. Among them you too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest. BUT GOD being rich in mercy because of His great love with which He lovedus, even when we were dead in our transgressions made us alive together with Christ ( by grace you have been saved) and raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavenly places, in Christ Jesus.

    Nancy Leigh DeMoss did a great interview with Sharon Jaynes, author of I’m Not Good Enough and Other Lies Women Tell Themselves, that would be great for you to listen to, Heather SV. Here’s a link to the first of the three day broadcast: http://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/roh/today.php?pid=10947.

    Grace ~
    Carrie
    Rebecca
    Re:
    on Thursday, September 15, 2011 at 10:11 am
    When I was younger it was "I'm committed until anyone shows any interest in me whatsoever" The most I've ever done was hold a guys hand for like 20 seconds haha but I knew he was just using me to get some other girl mad, I had a REALLY bad self-image.
    Now, quite honestly, I'm really waiting until marriage I know a lot of other girls have said that but it's something that's really important to me. I was abused when I was younger so that really motivates me to stay pure. That and my parents constantly talking about "earning your white wedding dress" I'm not dating until I'm at least 18 so that helps keep my focus where it needs to be right now. :)
    DLD
    re:
    on Thursday, September 15, 2011 at 9:45 pm
    oh man! Haha! I could seriously listen to this all day Erin...because I so desperately need to be reminded about this! Song of Solomon 2:7 is my verse! Most of the time people think about purity as it refers to the physical...but the bigger issue(which is where the physical starts) is purity of the heart and the mind! And to tell you the truth, I am most guilty of this...and I struggle with this seriously like, every second of the day (well, maybe that's a little overdramatic...but its pretty darn close! :))! It is so hard to really come up with an answer to fill in the rest of that blank...but I would say for me a big one would be, "I find it easy to stick to God's standards of purity until I can't wait any longer!"
    UGH! I am SOOOOOOOO impatient when it comes to waiting on God and His perfect plan for my life! I just want Highschool and College to be over so I can be married and have my own babies! I so desperately want to be a wife, and helper! and a mother, a life-giver!!! But that is obviously NOT where God wants me right now! He has a perfect plan and will for my life!
    God has shown me lately that one of the big heart issues with my impatience and such, is COVETOUSNESS. I covet being a wife and a mother. In thinking this way, I am saying to the God, who is so merciful to me, a sinner, that He would've even keep me breathing long enough to live this long, that I am not satisfied with all that he has richly blessed me with! Not to mention in loving me so much that He would even step off His throne of glory, humble himself and take on human form...the likeness of sinful man...a servant...and became obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross so that I could be saved??? Me? Even while I spat in his face and screamed, "CRUCIFY HIM!" and mocked him along with the croud?!? He saved me, and redeemed me...and I question His authority and sovereignty in saying, "No, God. I don't want my life to be this way. You messed up....you need to change some things here, because, I am not happy."
    OH MY WORD!! Me? a worthless slug? questioning the Almighty ruler and sustainer of the universe? who created me for His purposes and to show His glory?!? questioning HIs goodness like I know anything better!?! I am completely ashamed and angry at myself because of my sin!!! And to think..."My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought- My Sin NOT in PART BUT THE WHOLE was NAILED to the CROSS and I bear it no more! Praise the LORD! PRAISE THE LORD oh my soul!" Christ took on my shame, my penalty for sinning against a Holy God(which is death), which I so rightly deserved! He died and suffered the wrath of God on my behalf so that I might be redeemed and brought back to a right relationship with my Creator, which was previously destroyed by my sin!!! Ha! And because death has no hold on my Jesus, HE CONQUERED THE GRAVE and rose again and is seated at the right hand of the Father! My High Priest has presented himself before the Almighty as the only true atonement for my sin! and now I am set free from that bondage!
    In Christ I have the power to make war and kill sin! specifically this sin of covetousness which has ravanged my life for the past three years! My life belongs to no one but the LORD, who gave his life for me so that I might be made new for Him!!!
    Please please pray that the Lord would reign preeminent in my heart, mind, and life! Thanks SO very much for your constant encouragement and courage to post that which can be offensive to our sinful ears, because it is so true since it exposes the Truth of Scripture! Love you, Mrs. Erin and LYWB team! Thanks so much!!! praying for your ministry to remain as Christ centered as it has always been and that it would continue, as it has so faithfully been, to remain with in the boundaries and context of the Word of God! That is what will set us free and what we so desperately need to hear!!! thanks again!!!
    -Deborah
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    DLD
    on Thursday, September 15, 2011 at 11:13 pm
    DLD,

    The Lord has “kneaded” the truths of His gospel deeply into your soul, dear friend! Keep preaching the gospel to yourself daily. You are on the right track.

    Praying for you tonight! May you remain firmly established and steadfast in the faith not moving away from the hope of the gospel (Col. 1:23).
    Grace ~
    Carrie
    Michelle
    Re:
    on Friday, September 16, 2011 at 1:15 am
    Until I see my friend and her boyfriend always flirting.
    Anonymous
    Re:
    on Friday, September 16, 2011 at 9:11 am
    I find it easy to stay pure until...
    1. I see a cute guy who I know has outstanding character.
    2. I am alone and lonely.
    Heather Sv.
    Re:
    on Friday, September 16, 2011 at 10:59 pm
    Carrie: Thank you soooo much!! I'm really liking Ephesians 2:1-5 =) And
    that interview really helped. The guest speaker mentioned being protected by a "shield of faith" and I think that's going to help me. Thank you, Carrie! =)
    Cassie
    Re:
    on Saturday, September 17, 2011 at 9:30 pm
    I find it easy to stay pure until...this guy i really like starts liking me back, then i want to kiss him. Sounds stupid, but its true. never kissed a boy either, or had a boyfriend, so im trying to stick to my guns. PRAY FOR ME PLEASEEE! :P
    Jennifer
    Re:
    on Monday, September 19, 2011 at 12:00 pm
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until I see George (a guy that I'm EXTREMELY attracted to, who I also work with.)
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    Cassie
    on Tuesday, September 20, 2011 at 6:52 pm
    Cassie,

    “Lord Jesus thank you that you have promised that in you we have everything we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). Would you help my friend think thoughts that are true, noble, reputable, authentic and gracious when she’s with her friend. Would you help her to see him as some one’s husband one day… and to pray for him in that way. Thanks Jesus for your love for Cassie. Thanks that tonight you are delighting in her (Zeph. 3:17) and want her to know the depth of your love for her. Amen.”
    Candi
    Purity isn't easy to keep but it's possible.
    on Thursday, September 22, 2011 at 1:50 am
    Until marriage. No, it's not easy to stay pure (in thought it's basically near impossible) but sexually it is. It's hard. Especially when you're alone. And I'm alone with my fiancé a lot, because we live in different states so when we visit each other we're a lone in the house (when I'm up with him) for several hours while his parents are at work (and he works at night and early morning). But we haven't gone "too far" and we've been dating for over a year. And I am SUPER proud of him, and myself, that we haven't gone beyond. Yes, we kiss and touch but it's never gone beyond that.

    Please pray that we continue to stay pure for the next several months until our wedding!!!!!
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    Candi
    on Thursday, September 22, 2011 at 7:19 pm
    Dear Candi,

    Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! So thankful you and your fiancé are being intentional about staying pure until your marriage!

    “Lord Jesus thank you for your Holy Spirit that gives us the power, ability and even desire to do that which pleases you. Thank you for the incredible gift of physical intimacy that you have created for a husband and wife. I pray that you would help Candi and her fiancé guard their purity closely over these next several months. Help them to remember daily that your plan is always best. Give them the courage to say “no” to temptation that they might enjoy the fullness of your gift as husband and wife. “ In Jesus name I pray… Amen.
    Struggling
    Hmm...
    on Saturday, September 24, 2011 at 10:09 am
    Well, let's say I found it easy to stick to God's standards of purity until I grew self-righteous. That self-righteousness bred pride. And because of my pride I wouldn't admit that I struggled with loneliness. And because I kept hiding what I was really struggling from everyone, when I was really tempted to start thinking the wrong way, I gave in. I've been struggling with habitual sinful thinking for over four years. By God's grace, I made a turning point the day I graduated high school and confessed my sin to my parents and good friend who help keep me accountable. I also talk to a counselor sometimes too.

    Sin in this area does not usually come in one fell swoop. It's sneaky, girls. It grows and accumulates. So please, please, don't be like me. Don't let it "once be named among you" (sorry. can't find the reference. I thought it was in I Peter or Colossians). For me, it came through lies of "God is not enough," "I can sin and get away with it," "No one would understand," "I can't defeat temptation," "I'll never get victory," "God can't help me," "God won't punish me," "If God didn't want me to sin, I wouldn't be tempted."

    But the Bible says, "My grace is sufficient for thee, for My strength is made perfect in weakness," and "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man, but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able, but with the temptation will also make a way of escape that ye may be able to bear it" (I Corinthians 10:13) and "But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you" (Matthew 6:33) and "If any man be in Christ, He is a new creature, Old things are passed away, behold all things are become new." (II Corinthians 5:17). If you are struggling like I was/am, dive into your Bible, get accountability, and cry out to God.

    The LYWB book recommends replacing the lies with the truth. A good book to give you tools on how to focus on God and His truth is "What Do I Know About My God" by Mardi Collier.

    "For He satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with good things."--Psalm 107:9
    Heather Sv.
    Re:
    on Saturday, September 24, 2011 at 4:13 pm
    I'm changing my answer. I'm committed to purity until I'm dreaming. I don't find it too difficult to say no to sexual temptation while I'm awake, but sometimes I still have intense sexual dreams, like last night. I always try to avoid sexual temptation in my dreams- I have an element of control of my dreams- but I always end up giving in! And when I wake up, I get angry at myself.. Why can't I just stop? I've cut out all media in my life that would cause me to have impure thoughts, idk what else to do. My only guess is that because I still feel tempted during the daytime that it just carries over into my sleep time when I'm more vulnerable. But I can't help feeling tempted- this is a biological thing! I can't just tell my body to turn off it's natural urges. I guess all I can do is pray and ask God to help me.
    Shelby
    Re:
    on Sunday, September 25, 2011 at 3:41 pm
    until my thoughts get all coocoo !
    Bethie
    Re:
    on Sunday, September 25, 2011 at 4:37 pm
    Thank you Erin.Sometimes I feel like I just want to give myself away for the wrong reason. This really helped me to rethink my life a little more. God has really helped me through this time of pain and anguish. The new Bible study I'm attending now is sooo helping,again than you for this post.
    ---> Bethie
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    re: Heather Sv
    on Monday, September 26, 2011 at 3:43 pm
    I’m sorry to hear that you continue to struggle in this area. It may be because of the things you have exposed yourself to in the past – media, relationships, books – that you continue to have the dreams. God has a purpose for the struggle, Heather! He longs to have you cry out to Him for help in this area. So please, don’t give up – keep praying – keep taking your thoughts captive and don’t dwell on your dreams. Instead, dwell on God’s Word – pray God’s Word back to Him. God is right there with you and will help you through this (Is. 43:1-3).

    Precious Father, please free Heather from these dreams. She longs for purity in her heart and in her thoughts. Please guard her mind as she sleeps and keep the enemy far from her dreams. Give her the ability to take her thoughts captive in the day time and not to dwell on her dreams. Psalm 119: 9-11 says:“How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me know wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” Help these words to be true in Heather’s heart both day and night, Lord. May she love your Word so much that as she meditates on it day and night, it will guard her and enable her to remain pure and be freed from these dreams. We thank you Lord for what You are doing in her life through this trial.
    Heather Sv.
    Lorree:
    on Tuesday, September 27, 2011 at 3:29 pm
    A few nights ago I decided to really tackle my sexual "addiction" head on. And of course that night I had the most intense dream yet! I tried to do my best, and I got my worst!! But after you prayed for me, I didn't have an impure dream last night!! Yay =) I think if I can make it this whole week without a dream, then I'm probably free from it. I think you're right in that my past is probably affecting my dreams. I used to listen to a lot of hardcore rap and watch things I shouldn't have and read romance novels almost 24/7... so most definitely that crap is still lurking in my subconscious somewhere, and it makes sense that it would come out during my dreams when my subconscious is most active. I suppose it will take time to dilute that stream of images and media from my mind.

    Well, thank you, Lorree! =)
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    re: Heather Sv
    on Tuesday, September 27, 2011 at 5:19 pm
    What a blessing to rejoice in the answers to our prayers. Don’t give up this battle, Friend! Keep on fighting through these dreams. As time goes by and as you are no longer feeding the sensual area of your life, you will find victory! Stay in the Word, Heather! As you feed on the Word of God He will bring peace to your soul! Thank you, Lord!
    Rebekah
    purity
    on Thursday, September 29, 2011 at 12:25 pm
    I've committed to purity, until...my purity was taken from me. since im no longer pure...this no longer applies to me, right? my innocense and purity were taken away from me when i was 3...i've been used as a sex object most of my life, so it doesn't surprise me that i'm 32 and still single. My heart's desire is to be married and truly loved...but that seems so out of reach for me...what good Christian guy wants to marry a soiled dove?
    Rebecca
    @Rebekah
    on Thursday, September 29, 2011 at 6:00 pm
    Hey Rebekah! I like your name :) I was also sexually abused, but from the time I was 4 until 10. I am 17 now. I think that, that wasn't your option and while physically you may have lost your purity, it is now a heart matter. I think you could still be pure, after you get saved God makes everything new! I know it's hard to completely grasp but I mean, it wasn't your choice. Maybe as you got older you made a choice to be impure (I don't know) but if you weren't saved then the "laws" didn't necessarily apply to you. If you are saved now, you are brand new creature made pure through Jesus' death! :D I'll pray for you and I hope you find your prince :)
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    Rebecca- purity
    on Friday, September 30, 2011 at 8:43 am
    Rebecca,

    I’m very sorry for the suffering you have endured. God grieves the consequences of sinful choices inflicted upon you as a child! I’m sorry you grew up in such a difficult situation, dear friend. In all their suffering He also suffered, and He personally rescued them. In His love and mercy he redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them through all the years (Isaiah 63:9) NLT
    It is absolutely possible for you to have a pure heart… a heart fully surrendered to the Lord! God called David a man after His own heart after David’s grievous sin. The sin committed against you will never keep you from having a heart that is pure and holy before the Lord!
    This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. The LORD'S loving kindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Thy faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him." The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him (Lam. 3:21-25). Because of God’s faithfulness there is hope. You do not have to live in the shadow of your past. Christ died to set you free (Rom. 6:22) and to give you abundant life (John 10:10).
    No Place to Cry by Dorie Van Stone is an excellent book that will bring hope to your heart. Dorie considered herself ugly, unloved, and dirty as the result of childhood sexual abuse. No Place to Cry is the story of her struggle and victory as she surrendered her life to God and allowed Him to make something beautiful of it. I think you will be greatly encouraged by Dorie’s life.
    I’m praying for you today, dear friend.
    Carrie
    Rebecca
    @Carrie and @Rebekah
    on Friday, September 30, 2011 at 11:16 am
    Hey Carrie!! I love your posts! I'm not sure which Rebecca you were talking to, I know you spelled my name but either way, it's sounds applicable to both of us! I will see if I can find that book too, it sounds good. I heard and read part of the book "Changed Forever" and I forgot who the author was but it might be helpful to the other Rebekah. :) Right now I'm actually going through a workbook called "A Safe Place" by Jan Morrison. It's SO good, except the stories keep making me cry! I hate crying haha

    @Rebekah
    btw, I found this to be a really cool fact. Our name in literal meaning means "heifer" like a little cow, but further research goes to show that in the Hebrew language/ that time frame in history animals were very important to the people and signified different things. In this case a heifer meant innocence. Our name means innocence! How awesome is that?! I thought that might be encouraging :D (God named us haha)
    Christen
    Re:
    on Sunday, October 2, 2011 at 12:24 pm
    Great post!
    btw, there's a type-o in the Bible verse quote for Gal 6:9. On your post it says "And let us noW grow..." instead of "let us noT.."
    Agatha
    Great post!
    on Thursday, October 6, 2011 at 11:35 am
    Hi I really liked this post,it really encouraged me to keep my standards of purity high. But I think that you've made a typing mistake while writing the bible passage. Because you have written 'And let us now grow weary of doing good,' instead of 'not grow weary of doing good'. But overall this is a very beautiful and encouraging post.
    Thanks a lot!
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    Agatha
    on Thursday, October 6, 2011 at 11:59 am
    Thanks, Agatha…

    We’ll get that corrected!
    Last Edit: on Thursday, October 6, 2011 at 12:06pm by cgaul  
    Elizabeth
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until ...
    on Saturday, October 8, 2011 at 4:27 pm
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until ... a certain girl gets too close to me. Help...
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    Find it easy until...
    on Sunday, October 9, 2011 at 6:42 pm
    Elizabeth…

    Memorize these Scriptures to repeat to yourself when the girl gets too close and you will find it easy to think pure thoughts following:

    If a man [woman] lies with a male [woman] as with a woman [man], both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death... Leviticus 20:13

    For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error. And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. Romans 1:26-28

    Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 1 Cor. 6:9-10

    God bless you as you put sin behind you.
    Blair
    Waitin
    on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 10:39 am
    I have never had a boyfriend, I have never kissed anyone. In one point in my life I thought about having a boyfriend behind my parents back, but didn't. I'm very glad God helped me not to because he turned out to be a jerk and repeatedly stabbed me and my friend in the back. I dont know whether I should wait to kiss until I'm in a serious relationship, engaged, or married. Which is better? I have been struggiling with this for a while. Please help
    Blair
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    Blair
    on Thursday, October 13, 2011 at 1:11 pm
    So grateful for the ways you have honored God by your choices! Thanks for reflecting Jesus to all those who are watching your life.

    You’ve asked a great question, Blair. Erin’s post, “How far is too far?” http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=684 will help you think through some of the principles as you ask the Lord to help you establish your convictions regarding kissing.
    angel
    purity
    on Sunday, October 16, 2011 at 3:42 pm
    i wanna remain pure, but this guy on skype keeps tlkin 2 me wanting me to video chat with him........would i still be considered pure if i did go on chat and do what he wants me to do?
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    Angel
    on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 5:10 pm
    I’m so glad you want to remain pure!

    Purity isn’t just something we do or don’t do. Purity begins in our hearts and mind. Impure actions will always result from impure thoughts (James 1: 14-17).

    In her post “ Are you “hinting?” A second look at God’s purity standard”, (http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=117), Erin makes the following statement:

    “Anything that “hints” at sex outside of marriage is wrong. Ephesians 5:3 (NIV) defines God’s standard of purity: ‘ But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality.’ This certainly includes actually having sex. But the sexual sin forbidden here is broader than that. There should not be even a hint of sex outside the marriage bed. You don’t have to have physical contact with a guy to “hint” at sexual sin. Jesus extended the definition of sexual sin to include looking at someone and lusting after them (Matthew 5:28).

    You “hint” at sex when you wear a low cut tank top showing off your cleavage.
    You “hint” at sex when you text-message something flirtatious to a guy-friend.
    You “hint” at sex when you hang around the Abercrombie poster in the mall, glancing a few too many times.

    You “hint” at sex when you expose yourself to songs, television shows, and movies that use sexual humor and language (The very next verse says, ‘ Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place”—Ephesians 5:4.)
    According to Jesus, these areas of mental impurity count. They rob you of virtue. But sexual sin in the mind isn't the only area where Christian young women are struggling.”

    Pursue purity, my friend! Stand strong in your commitment that there not be a hint of immorality in your life! God will honor your obedience to His ways.
    Chelsea
    Purity
    on Wednesday, October 19, 2011 at 6:53 pm
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until...i met a guy before highschool, I talked to him a lot and i knew he was going to be in my class in grade 9....eventually I started really liking him, and i was alwasy eager to talk to him next...i knew i was only 14 so i made it just a small thing...then when school came i was seeing him more...and i found out he liked me...so we both knew we liked eachother...and we are both only 14 so it was never become anything serious...then i started to love him instead of just a crush..and he told me he loved me....so know every time we sit together in class or gives me a hug (even though thats only happened once) :P I can't help but to think what it would be like to date him and I now am always hoping for another compliment or another hug.....i dont want to make it anyhting serious until I am 18, but sometimes its tough, i feel like i am older than i am and it's okay to love him even though I am soo young!!
    I am trying to control this feeling since I am only young still but i feel like it's okay because he is really the first guy i have ever liked!!
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    Chelsea
    on Thursday, October 20, 2011 at 3:27 pm
    Hey Chelsea,

    Here’s a great post Erin did a while back that may be helpful as you seek to remain pure in your relationship with this guy.

    Ask Erin, “How can I stay emotionally pure?” http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=673

    Blessings,
    Carrie
    Chloe
    Thank You!
    on Friday, October 28, 2011 at 4:00 pm
    I find that it's easy to commit to purity until I start listening to music or watching movies. It's almost impossible to find music and movies that are glorifying to God and appropriate unless you look at the Christian book store or want to watch G rated movies. It's literally impossible to listen to non-christian radio stations and not hear lyrics about partying or any of that other stuff. Even though I don't listen to the radio, and I prefer to listen to music on my iPod, some of the music that I have on there isn't glorifying to God. Neither are the books that I sometimes read or the movies or TV shows that I watch. So I have a question for you Erin, is our society really to the point that Christian girls have to listen strictly to Christian music and read Christian books and watch Christian movies because everything else goes against what we believe in? Is there anything that you can think of that's appropriate for Christian teenagers that isn't Christian? I'm asking you sincerely, because I honestly don't know anymore.
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    re: Chloe
    on Monday, October 31, 2011 at 2:35 pm
    Erin reads all the blogs that come in to this site, but she is not able to respond to all of them. So I am responding on her behalf.

    The things in the world have a strong potential to draw us away from God. He tells us in Philippians 4:8 –

    Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

    What we allow into our minds does affect us. That’s why we are told not to live as the world does, but to be transformed by renewing our minds (Rom. 12:2). We must be very discerning about what we allow ourselves to listen to, read and put into our minds. Our minds are the battleground where we wage war with our enemy. We can counter his lies with the Truth found in God’s Word – but only if we know what that truth is. We can know the Truth by being in the Word on a consistent basis.

    I would caution you to be discerning about what you read, watch and listen to, Chloe. Ask yourself this question: Is what I am listening to (reading, watching) drawing me closer to God? Would God be pleased with what I am putting into my mind? Is it true, honorable, just, right pure, lovely, commendable, excellent or worthy of praise? These are a good grid to use as you contemplate your music, movies and reading resources. I’m praying that the Lord will give you clear discernment as you desire to keep your heart pure for Him.
    kim
    pure
    on Thursday, November 3, 2011 at 3:55 pm
    yeah it is hard. when ever the sub comes up with my friends i tell them that that is my goal. they say that it sucks advice?
    Megan H.
    past/future
    on Thursday, December 22, 2011 at 4:29 am
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until..

    i think about my past/future. I've always wanted to wait until marriage but i've felt pressure from my friends not to. I still don't know how to comprehend what happened. I had a 'boyfriend' for the first time last year, my senior year of highschool. I told him i wasn't used to being physical, even with kissing but for some reason he did not listen. Then, something happened to where he used that against me and i guess took advantage of me. It hurts my heart to hear my own head saying that im lying about what happened that night. It makes me think that im not worthy for anybody and that i have to commit sin to be loved. I even feel like i am not pure.my heart tells me that i still am but i always have that nagging thought telling me no. This is still a battle i fight with everyday but i know that God is helping me and that i will eventually get through this.

    See, i'm 19 and i never had a boyfriend before this one. I actually haven't had one since. I am sometimes pursued by the average guy who just wants sex---i always turn them down because they are not of God and they do not share the same beliefs with me.

    i know this experience has happened for a reason but it has only made my belief, (that i have to wait for the right one; the one i am meant to be with), stronger.
    Lorree, with the LYWB team
    re: Megan H.
    on Thursday, December 22, 2011 at 4:48 pm
    I am so sorry this happened, Megan! You do not have to commit sin to be loved. That is a lie straight from our enemy! God loves you and will forgive your sin as you confess it to Him (1 Jn. 1:9). It is important that you agree with God about your sin, confess it and then choose to remain pure from now on. You are cleansed from the unrighteousness and you may need to remind yourself of this truth off and on as seeds of doubt and condemnation creep into your mind (Rom. 8:1).

    Your renewed passion for God’s standard is beautiful and very important, Megan! Remember you are valuable and are worth waiting for. God will give that desire to a godly man in your future. He will love you enough to want to protect you and won’t ask you to do things that are contrary to God’s best for you. Praying for you, Megan, and asking God to draw you close to Him and continue to restore your passion for purity.
    Michelle
    Re:
    on Monday, December 26, 2011 at 12:58 am
    I read this a while ago, and just re-read it today.
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards of purity until...
    I'm aching with lonliness, when no one really knows what's going on inside me (they think I'm perfect...), when I'm yearning for comfort from pain, when I'm seeking relief from constant lies and temptations...
    I desperately want to keep a clean, God-focused mindset, but I'm constantly drawn to comfort outside of God. The weird part is the comfort I go to; I get lost in thoughts and memories of times when I was with the guy/his family (they're so amazingly awesome!) I really like (he moved away..). I even create scenes in my head of conversations with him, his brother, his mom, things that would happen to us...etc. Yeah, it's very weird and strange, you don't need to tell me (trust me, I know it already :P) God's revealed to me recently how when I go to those things because of my weariness/ loneliness, I push him out of the way.That's awful, because my ultimate goal in life is to be centered on Christ and Christ alone, and to serve him; i'm failing miserably at that if I'm pushing him out of the way.
    He has already shown me so much through this, but I keep going back to my bad habit. I almost feel as if I'm trying to heal on my own without his help (which I know is impossible, only God can really do that). I'm very discouraged, and that only makes my loneliness worse, which makes me go back to my bad habit, and then I'm constantly having to say no to it, and having to constantly resist something and always be on your guard really saps the strength from you. And of course the whole cycle starts all over again...
    Well, that was quite a ramble...I apologize, I didn't intend for that to be that long! Thank you, Erin, for another beautiful, thought-provoking post, I think it's really helped me out.
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    Kim
    on Tuesday, December 27, 2011 at 11:00 am
    Hey, Kim ~

    Sorry your comment didn’t get posted earlier.

    I’m so glad you’re standing for truth with your friends…even if they don’t understand or mock you, Kim. Keep standing! Keep taking them back to the truth that the Creator of sexual intimacy knows what is best. He designed sex to be beautiful in marriage!

    Their watching your life, Kim; keep living the truth of Jesus love out before them as you pray for them! He wants to use you in a powerful way to let your friends know the Truth!

    Praying for you today ~
    Carrie
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    Michelle
    on Tuesday, December 27, 2011 at 3:33 pm
    Thank you for sharing your heart. It sounds like you’re growing weary in your battle against sin, friend. Hebrews 12:1-3 talks about that very thing.

    “ Let us… lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him, who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.

    One of my favorite authors, Elyse Fitzpatrick in her book “Comforts From the Cross” shares these thoughts related to this passage

    “The thought of having to struggle against a thorny or habitual sin over the long haul doesn’t quite fit into [our] scheme of things. This passage encourages us to continue to persevere even though it seems as if we’re not making any headway or that we’ll never get it right. The gospel teaches us that instead of focusing on ourselves and our closely clinging sin, we’ve got to focus on, to consider, Jesus. We’ve got to look away from our sin, whether because it’s alluring and drawing us toward it or because it’s condemning and pushing us into ourselves and away from our Savior. We must patiently focus all our attention on Him. We’ve got to think on, ponder or consider Jesus. Every aspect of the gospel is meant to encourage us in our war against sin.”

    Michelle, what will you do today to begin “considering Jesus”?

    Grace and peace,
    Carrie
    Michelle
    Re: Michelle
    on Wednesday, December 28, 2011 at 10:33 am
    You don't know HOW powerful that was for me... Thank you so much for the encouragement!
    Every summer, I go to my barn's Christian Horse Camp, and every year we memorize a verse. That was our verse I think three or so years ago, and that's the only verse that's really stuck with me. I have it written on my heart. Thank you so much for really caring to answer my comment, God really spoke through you to me, and I appreciate that greatly! Thanks again so much!
    Today I will try to keep my heart and mind on Jesus, and Him alone, for he has been wooing me, and I have been the bride that has been running away. I will turn to Him and put my heart in His hands, only He can hold my heart right now.
    Carrie, with the LYWB team
    Michelle
    on Wednesday, December 28, 2011 at 1:58 pm
    You are so sweet to let me know how God has been encouraging you, dear friend! He is, indeed, a God who pursues His beloved bride…continually! HIs love for you is beyond measure and always unmerited!

    I remembered later last night one of my favorite John Piper YouTube clips that I thought might encourage you as well, Michelle.

    Here’s the link… it’s called Fight For Joy. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p0fH8TDL5I)

    Persevere, dear friend! Persevere…Jesus is being glorified through you as you cling to Him.
    Adrionne
    Re:
    on Thursday, February 9, 2012 at 12:46 pm
    I find that it's easy to commit to purity until god has showed me the one I am suppose to be for the rest of my life and after. And trust me he showed me it was by faith that we met!
    Sarah, with the LYWB team
    Adrionne...
    on Friday, February 10, 2012 at 11:10 pm
    Hang tough, Adrionne. If God has shown you blessing, it is all the more reason to live with a pure heart and life before Him! (See 2 Timothy 2:22)
    Rebekah
    Until!
    on Thursday, March 1, 2012 at 7:33 am
    Everytime I tell someone I am 18 and never dated and I don't want to their first response is "parents huh?" and I say "No me. I made that choice when I was like 12 and I am not giving up." But can I just tell you how hard it has been to keep winning the battle over my thought life! I may be trying to sty both physically and spiritually and mentally but the mentally is the hardest part for me! They say that guys are visual and when they look at a girl all these images pop up....my mind works the same way and it is sooooooooooooo annoying especially when I am walking through the mall I see a cute guy and my mind goes, "what would he look like .with no clothes on?" and my mind goes there. I do take these thoughts captive but its really hard. I find it hard to stay pure until i am bombarded with "sexy" thoughts of the opposite gender
    Holly
    Re:
    on Sunday, March 18, 2012 at 10:33 pm
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until ... the guy I'm dating *acts* like he truly loves me and wants to be with me forever. I was tricked into believing that in my last relationship. My boyfriend worked at a Christian Retreat, so I thought he was perfect. He had me wrapped around his finger. He started talking to me about making out and things of that nature, wanting me to give in to him. Because I thought he was "God-sent", I went along with him. He and I went too far, almost losing our virginity. Little did I know, he got addicted to pornography while we were dating, and he wanted to try everything he had been watching out on me. We broke up after a year and a half of being together because our parents found out what we were doing. He did not tell me until almost a year after breaking up that he was addicted to porn. Since then, I have asked God for forgiveness and have strengthened my relationship with him. Now, I love sharing with fellow teenaged girls of God's love and my views on dating. I read "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric & Leslie Ludy, which really gave me an insight as to what God expects from my earthly relationships.
    Ashley
    Re:
    on Friday, May 4, 2012 at 12:44 pm
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until...a nice guy takes notice of me, and I feel as if I am missing out on love. It never fails. I feel as if I am being mean or rude if I don't give in and talk to a nice guy that takes interest in me. I need help in this area. Any advice?
    Back & forth
    Re:
    on Tuesday, July 10, 2012 at 11:55 am
    I find it easy to stick to God's standards for purity until I see a sexual movie, listen to a sexual song, hear people talk about sex then my hormones kick in and I feel lustful and live in the flesh instead of the spirit.
    frostprincess
    Re:
    on Friday, February 15, 2013 at 8:31 pm
    Unless God's will for me changes, I am committed to purity forever.

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