Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

Lydia
I can kinda relate.
on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 2:29 am
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"Always wondering if you'll be found out." - I know that feeling. Its really your guilty conscious speaking to you.

I USED TO HAVE a very inappropriate text relationship with this boy. I was always freaking out about where my cell phone was. I was always worried my parents would find out. I was never really caught because of Gods kindness.

I decided to only end it when the relationship started heading towards a worse direction. Its sad that it took me a while to stop even though I knew it was wrong the whole time.

I am a different person when my parents are not looking but I am trying not to be. Maybe they will never catch me but God is watching.
SkinnyJeansXOXO
Agreed!
on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 2:42 am
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I totally agree! Thankfully, my mom has been one of my best friends and I hardly ever lie or do things behind her back. Sometimes I do though, and I wish she didn't trust me so much at times. But then it's easier to just tell her "hey, I lied about this..." than for her to confront me.
Nichole
Re:
on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 7:45 am
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I have been there! I did the exact same thing, and faced the consequences of my parents not trusting me at all. That was 4 years ago. Lately I've been tempted to do it yet again. To go behind my parents back so I can do what I want instead of following they're strict rules. I know I shouldn't and haven't yet, but the temptation just to do it has been getting stronger the older I get. I'm still not but how do you deal with your parents strict rules when te older you get and they won't let up at all? How am I suppose to grow up if they won't let me? This is my question I have yet to answer.
Anon
well...
on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 8:06 am
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I feel like my parents don't trust me, but that they don't have any reason to. Sure I've done some things that they don't know about, and that I don't want them to know about...but it wasn't really "bad" stuff. But the fact is that they simply don't trust me. They hold me on a very tight leash, and are, like you said, super.protective.parents. I just don't think that I've given them a solid reason not to trust me.
RachelAllison
@Anon
on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 9:39 am
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Why don't your parents trust you as you think they should? Well, perhaps it's because they've been in your shoes. Maybe it's not directly the fact that you have done something, but that they've been a teen before and they know all of the things that accompany that stage in life. So perhaps they're protecting you from making the hurtful and regretful decisions that they know you are capable of. 'Cuz lets face it, we're a little new to this world and we learn a lot of things through our own mistakes. I have super.protective.parents as well and there was a time when I couldn't understand anything they did. Why exactly couldn't I go to my friends house? It was just a sleep over! ect... but you have to realize that they are your God-given guardians and they're simply doing their job because a). they love you and b). that's their God-given purpose as parents. And sometimes your parents will make mistakes. I always seemed to have this idea that my parents had to be perfect. I was genuinely indignant when I would see my dad lose his temper or my mom say something that she would later regret. But the truth of the matter is, I held them at too high of a standard and I realize that now. And when my parents apologized to me for reacting to wrong way, I truly realized that they weren't perfect and suddenly I was okay with it. Because I'm not perfect either and having perfect parents would make me uncomfortable. But you see, even if they mess up, it's still their job to raise you and it's your job to respect them - even when you don't understand what they're doing. And let me tell you, there are times when you truly believe they have messed up, but after a few years, you look back and suddenly you're extremely thankful that they made the decisions that they did.
Rebecca
no trust
on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 10:18 am
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My parents are super super protective and paranoid. I have given my parents many reasons to not trust me. It all started when I was like 10 and I had lived with them for 6 months. I went to visit my mom for the summer and because my mom was compulsive liar I too had to change stories but my parents trusted her when they knew they shouldn't and I always got in trouble for stuff I didn't do. My mom was literally trying to get me in trouble with them so I wouldn't like them. But then I just started lying about everything and anything. I didn't care either. It got to the point where they would not let me out of their sight at all. Not even to go to the bathroom. I felt like a prisoner in my own house. I later started cutting and starving and even tried to commit suicide. My parents would not have even cared because "it would have been my choice, and they've been the best parents they know to be". Now, after this summer they trust me less because of my anorexic behavior and what sucks about the self-harm thing is like a week ago I talked to my mom about cutting (it was a brief part of our convo) and I told her that after I stopped cutting I started punching myself and I didn't care anyway, because I bruise easily. and she acted like "okay" kind of I understand, I knew it kind of attitude. But then the next day she gave me a "body search" and I had 3 little bruises on me and she made a big deal about them. So, I tried to be honest and all it did was make me feel like an undignified loser. I love my parents, I really do. But some times I really feel like they overdo their correction; and it gets exasperating and discouraging. Especially when they then compare me to all my friends and how great they are, I can't be perfect like my friends are. I've been working on earning trust, and being "painfully honest" but it's just never good enough for them. :'(
I can't wait for your post on how to earn their trust back! :)
Gods Jewel
Great Post!
on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 10:42 am
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I used to lie a lot to my parents, especially about my school grades (which they would find out anyway). Now I never do that, instead I find myself telling them every grade even if it isn't the beat grade that I could have gotten...
I have definitely gained back most of the trust that I lost to my foolish actions in grade school (now in college).
Robyn
:/
on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 10:59 am
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I don't think I've really given them a reason not to trust me.. They just never have trusted me. At the moment I'm really upset because they won't let me even go to homecoming because they won't be able to "monitor" it. I'm 16, there are cops there, and they apparently don't trust me. It's frustrating when I'm trying to respect them and obey them, but then they go and say no to all this stuff. When parents don't give you any trust it just puts a wall up between us.
Gods Jewel
Thanks for this pot, again
on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 11:10 am
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@Rebecca = I will be praying for you, my parents used to be like that, although I never started cutting or had thoughts of suicide...I hope your mom starts seeing how much u have tried to gain back her trust...
Lesia Wimberley
Trust
on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 11:32 am
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My story is a bit different but I can relate! The only difference with me is that I have done nothing for them to distrust me and yet they still do. :( I have even done things purposefully to let them know they can trust me but they still do not. I have proven myself many times. I think it may have a lot to do with my sister because she has done things behind my parents backs and has been caught multiple times and I think they are comparing me to her. :( But I still greatly respect my parents and I love them very much!! I'm just trusting God that He will work it all out and I know all of this is for some purpose and it's for my good and for His glory, and that gives me a lot of peace about it even though it is very frustrating. :)
Faith
Re: Rebecca
on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 12:59 pm
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I think you might be surprised if you knew what went on in your "perfect" friends' hearts.

I have had people have that attitude toward me, like I somehow have it "all together" but they have no idea that I cry at night, and struggle with depression and such.

You are not alone, even if it seems that way. Other people are going through the same things.

And even more importantly, you're not alone because God is RIGHT there if you ever need to talk to Him.
Heather Sv.
Re:
on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 1:24 pm
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I never lost my mother's trust. I never wanted to do anything bad when I was growing up. I disappointed my mother once by doing something wrong in school, and it broke my own heart to hear her yell at me. When I got to high school, I started to really struggle with some teribble things. I never told her to this day. She wouldn't be angry or disappointed, but there's just some things that, as an adult, you don't need to open to your mother. Besides, it's all in the past. I'm a Christian now, so God is going to heal me. My mother doesn't need to know anything.

P.s. I'm not saying that you shouldn't confide in your parents when you are struggling with something, or that you should keep secrets from them! If your parent(s) are Christian, then it's a good idea to talk to them when you struggle with something. They'll have the same mind as you, and they will want to help. Even though my mother is not a Christian, and I wasn't one back then, I still wish I would have gotten help and not kept my secrets because it hurts you in the long run. It's not fun. So don't think you get off easy by not confiding in someone. Your sin will always catch up to you!
vivian
re:
on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 1:25 pm
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my parents are reallyyy protective. My mom trusts me for the most part, but I don't think my dad trusts me. I tell my Mom most stuff... but I don't tell my Dad very much at all. He never has taken much of an interest in my personal life (or shown he has)... but my Mom says it's only because I don't let him in. which is somewhat true. but, how can a 5 year old little girl give you that impression?? I have no idea. He's gotten better though, especially the last 6 months. I am 16 now.
My dad has said in the past that he doesn't trust me because I am 'the quiet one'. He says he was the quiet one too, and he was the one who did the worst stuff that no one knew about. I don't think you should not trust someone just because they say few words. I have never done anything very bad... I've lied about small issues, but that is it.
maybe if I tell him stuff like I tell my mom... I don't know. It is hard to get close to someone when they have ignored you your whole life. He's trying now. He's not a bad dad... he just wasn't a "dad". Right now I am struggling with that. My Mom is always there for me even when shes mad at what I do, but my dad was never around it seemed like. I still love him, it's just hard to pretend like everything is okay and tell him everything that is happening in my life. My Mom says me getting closer to him is practice for marraige. well... it's different somewhat because I hope my husband doesn't ignore me the first 16 years of marraige and then want to change and wants to suddenly become by bff. It takes time t heal. I am not really sure if my dad understands that.
Don't think my dad is a loser or anything. He's a really great guy, and he is really trying to be a dad. I love him... but I don't know if I can ever be really close to him like he wants. It's hard... because I want to... I just don't know if could ever happen.
God is really working on my heart with my major bitterness and anger issues. I didn't even know how bitter I was until last week when it just couldn't stay locked in anymore. God is having a lot of grace on me, and patience. God has been showing me what a dad is supposed to be by other families Dad's.

sorry... this must be a long post. I just really laid it all out there, didn't I? lol. "well.. it's better to let it out than in I always say!"... Shrek. wow... I quoted Shrek on here. very unexpected.

thanks for listening! have a good one
Abz
Re:
on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 3:30 pm
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I know what your talking about Paula! I've gone behind my parents back before and there was pleasure for a season but then it got old and I was stuck I could not get out of the sin, it had a tight grip on me.It lasted for about 5 years... I still remember the night I got it right, it was at a revival meeting, the preacher was preaching on the rough road of rebellion, it was during that message that I saw light at the end on my tunnel at the time! Girls if you are hinding anything from your parents, tell them, there is such a burden lifted! It may feel like the end of the world if you tell them, I thought that, and it may be the hardest thing you have ever had to do! Get some help from an older christian lady, I talked to the evangelists wife and she was going to be checkin up on me. Get accountablity!!
Kaylea
Trust...
on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 3:46 pm
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My parents trust me quite a bit but lately I'm anxious to just turn 18 so I can get out of this house!! I feel reall I dependent so I act like I dont have rules.... Or I don't really have to follow them. I'm always home on time but I don't tell them where I go.... I don't go anywhere bad or anything, but I know I should be asking if it's okay if I go instead of just telling them that I'm going somewhere. Anyways I'm afraid that I'm going to lose their trust and get stuck in the house forever.
Shanni
@Rebecca
on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 5:55 pm
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I'm praying for you, girl!
Just something to think about. . .although it may seem like your parents are not being very loving toward you right now because of the trust issue, it's probably the opposite! Right now they probably really want the best for you so they are going to try to protect you.
Anon
@RachelAllison
on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 6:12 pm
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Thanks RachelAllison. I just think that they don't understand me at all. I feel like they're constantly judging me for different things...okay, so they probably mostly don't trust me because I was suicidal. It's hard sometimes to think that they're doing it because they love me. :/
Carrie, with the LYWB team
re: I can kinda relate
on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 9:36 pm
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Hey Lydia,

I’m glad you’ve ended the relationship you mentioned. And I’m thankful you want to begin living a life of honesty and integrity with your parents.

The path to living a changed life isn’t found in trying harder, my friend. It will never work…believe me I spent far too many years of my life on that path. As one dear friend send to me once, “Stop trying and start dying.”

Trying harder leads only to frustration and ultimate failure. But dying to ourselves – our desires, our wants, our perceived rights etc. is the path that leads to a changed life, Lydia. The first steps on that path are brokenness and repentance.

Would you be willing tonight, Lydia, to acknowledge to God that you have sinned by lying to your parents? Would you ask Him to show you your sin as He sees it? Will you choose to turn from that sin and to begin running toward God? If you will do that you’ll know the initial freedom and peace that Abz talked about in her post.

Your next step of freedom will come as you confess your sin to your parents and seek their forgiveness.

Oh, my friend, there is nothing like the joy and freedom that comes from having a clear conscience before God and man.

Run to the Lord tonight, my friend… He is waiting for you!
“Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy (Prov. 28:13).”
Carrie, with the LYWB team
re: Agreed
on Wednesday, October 12, 2011 at 9:39 pm
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SkinnyJeansXOXO

So proud of you for being honest with your mom!

Thanks for living out the gospel, friend!
jb
Re:
on Thursday, October 13, 2011 at 12:36 am
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I went behind my parents' backs for a while to see a boy. We weren't officially dating or anything but we were kind of seeing each other romantically almost every day. It wasn't that I didn't want to date him or that I didn't want anybody to know about him. Or that he was not a good person to be with. He was a Godly man. But I started telling lies to my parents about where I was and who I was with just to avoid questioning from them since I've never had a boyfriend before.
RachelAllison
@Anon
on Thursday, October 13, 2011 at 8:26 am
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perspective; this is where the problem often lies. You see, you definitely have a different perspective than your parents in this situation (everybody does). If you want to see it from your parent's perspective, you're going to have to step back and really examine what it is they may be feeling here. Also, ask them. Part of earning your parents trust is being open and honest with them. That may not come easily to you, but it's important.
One thing that I always thought of that put my relationship to my parents in a better perspective was, "What if I was my child?"
Last but definitely not least, dear friend, pray! Only God can help you if you desire to change your perspective. He knows what you need to change the way that you look at this. And remember, when you're honoring your parents, you're honoring God.
Amy
It's hard
on Thursday, October 13, 2011 at 11:23 am
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I have been going through punishment for breaking my parents' trust also. But by Gods grace and mercy I've been more open to talk to them about how I feel. It was a hard habit to break but I broke. The sad thing was that I new it was wrong but I did it because I wanted to do it. It really broke the trust of my whole family! My Mom, Dad, and my two sisters. My one sister asked one night "Why did you do this to yourself?"
I didn't have an answer because, well it's one of those things that you can't put into words. But now I think they can trust me a little bit more now. I REALLY HOPE!
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Nichole
on Thursday, October 13, 2011 at 12:03 pm
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I’m so proud of you for doing the right thing for the last four years! You’ve honored your parents and your God, Nichole! Don’t go back. Yes, the temptation is strong because the enemy wants to slander the name of your God! You’ve reflected His glory; you’ve given you’re friends a picture of what it means to walk with Jesus. The temptation is stronger because the stakes are higher, friend. But God promises to always make a way for us to escape the temptation.

“No temptation has taken you except what is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it ( 1 Corinthians 10:13).”

Nichole, as I was just typing this I realized the very next verse says, “Therefore, my beloved,” (don’t you just LOVE it that the LORD calls us His beloved!) “flee from idolatry.”

Is it possible, Nichole, there’s something you’re clinging to in relationship to your freedom and growing older? Is there something, perhaps, God’s asking you to surrender in all of this? Might that surrender even be the “way of escape” He is providing for you?

Though I don’t know specifically the “ way of escape” He is making for you, friend… I do know that He is more than able to give you everything you need today to trust Him with this whole area and to continue to make your life a trophy of His grace and mercy!

Persevere, friend… persevere!

Much love and prayers ~
Carrie
Rebecca
@Faith and Shanni
on Thursday, October 13, 2011 at 12:10 pm
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Hey girls I just wanted to say sorry for my post. It was pretty...kind of bitter actually. I didn't mean to start griping but I something just hit the wrong nerve and I didn't realize I was still so upset about some of the stuff that they have done. So, I apologize for that.

@Faith
Yeah, I know. I'm actually the girl that everyone thinks is perfect. The pressure to hold up that image is unbearable. I've heard my friends parents (right in front of me) say that they wish their kid was more like me. I don't wish me on any parent. I'm just good at plastering on a fake smile and saying "I'm fine" all the time. My "perfect" friends are...well, I like them a lot but they're very spiritual I guess. Not like, "we love Jesus and want to do the right thing" but kind of granola bar Christians. (fruits, flakes and nuts xD) I love them a lot but sometimes their perfection grates on me.

@Shanni
I like your name :). Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're right, it's just hard to grasp sometimes, when they seem to make my life so difficult. Like, not just I don't deserve the trust so they make my life difficult but I work very hard on earning trust and they insist on treating me like I'm still a screw up.
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Anon
on Thursday, October 13, 2011 at 12:47 pm
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Having a clear conscience before God and man (Acts 24:15) is one of the greatest freedoms we can ever experience! There’s just nothing like it, friend. When we have a clear conscience we have nothing to hide; our life is an open book before God, our parents and everyone else.

I know it would take a bit of time, but I’d love for you to listen or read the transcripts of Nancy DeMoss’ five day series on Clear Conscience (http://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/revive-our-hearts/are-you-right-with-god-1/). It may even be helpful in evaluating some of what led you to attempt to take your own life, Anon.

It’s understandable that choice has caused your parents deep concern, friend. Though they are not perfect (none of us are) they do love you… or they wouldn’t be concerned! Can you ask the Lord to help you believe the best about them today, Anon? To help you see their actions as God sees them?

I’m praying for you today, dear friend!

Carrie
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Robyn
on Thursday, October 13, 2011 at 1:31 pm
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Robyn,

I know it’s hard to believe the best about your parents when their decisions don’t make sense to you right now. I do know, personally, what it’s like to not be allowed to do what your peers may see as very natural and normal.

But Robyn, as hard as this is right now, I also know there’s a bigger picture here. This is a training ground, my friend. In His love for you the Lord has chosen to give you an incredible gift as a 16 year old young woman. He’s allowing you to walk through this for a much bigger purpose. He’s teaching you, what it means to align yourself under those who have responsibility for you… even when you don’t agree with their decisions.

Robyn, one day the Lord may give you the gift of marriage. There will come a time (I promise you!) in that marriage when you won’t agree with the decisions your husband will make. But because of the things you are going through TODAY you will already have learned the importance of coming under your husband’s leadership.

Oh, Robyn, I’m praying for you right now! I know you’ll do the right thing…because you want your life to honor Jesus and your parents! He’ll be so proud of you, my friend! So very proud of His beloved.

Let me know how it goes, Robyn. And if you get the opportunity, in a humble and non-confrontational way ask your parents to share with you where they are in trusting you. You may be surprised by what they share.

All is grace, my friend… ALL is grace~
Carrie
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Lesia Wimberley
on Thursday, October 13, 2011 at 1:46 pm
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Wow! I’m so proud of the way you are living out the gospel! You are on the right track, friend. Keep doing the right thing, even if it doesn’t result in the response you would like to see. Keep trusting God. Keep praying for your parents and for your sister. God is at work in your life and family, Lesia! Persevere.
“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed ( 1 Peter 1:6-7).”
Grace and peace,
Carrie
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Heather Sv.
on Thursday, October 13, 2011 at 2:10 pm
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Hey, Heather Sv,

I’m so thankful for the work the Lord has done in your life! There’s just nothing like being His daughter, is there?!

I’m praying today for your mom to come to know Jesus soon, friend. I know that must be a burden on your heart.

Though it’s not necessary to share every detail of our past sins, Scripture does say God brings healing and wholeness as we get honest about our sins with one another ( James 5:16). I don’t know exactly what that looks like with your mom, Heather Sv., but I’m praying the Lord will show you.

If you get a chance I think you’ll be encouraged by Erin’s True Woman Blog post “ What happens when you tell a 50 year old secret” (http://www.truewoman.com/?id=1754).

You might also be encouraged by the links I gave in an earlier comment to Anon.

Blessings to you today, Heather Sv.
Carrie
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Rebecca
on Thursday, October 13, 2011 at 3:26 pm
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Hey friend ~

Sorry you’ve had some rough waters with your mom. Don’t believe the lies, friend; you did the right thing by being honest! Jesus didn’t suffer and die for a loser! You’re a daughter of the King of kings.
Ask Him what He’s showing you in all this, Rebecca. He’s fighting for you not against you so He may simply be surfacing some areas of “ dross” He wants to remove from your life.
Praying for you this afternoon ~
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth. Do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and streams in the desert (Is. 43:18-19).”
All is grace, my friend.
Carrie
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Vivian
on Thursday, October 13, 2011 at 4:28 pm
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Hey Vivian,

Thanks for sharing your heart. I’m sorry your dad’s not been there for you through the years, but I’m so thankful for the ways God is working in both of your lives right now!

It’s great your dad wants his relationship with you to be different, Vivian. That doesn’t happen apart from God working in his life. It will definitely be a journey of rebuilding trust and developing a relationship, but it’s a journey that has already begun… in huge ways!

So here are a few thoughts:

The “ Courageous” movie that recently came out would be a great one for you to see with your dad. Why not see if he’d be willing to have a “ date night” with you and go to see the movie!

Secondly, I’d be happy to send you a copy of a little booklet called Freedom Through Forgiveness to help you as you work through the areas of bitterness in your heart. Just contact me at info@reviveourhearts.com with your contact information and I’ll get it out to you right away.
savvy
prayer
on Thursday, October 13, 2011 at 5:46 pm
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hey you guys im super stressed right now!!! i was wondering if anyone would be able to pray for me? thankSSS:)
RachelAllison
@Savvy
on Thursday, October 13, 2011 at 8:00 pm
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Of course! I would love to pray for you!! Prayers up, girl! ;)
Carrie, with the LYWB team
savvy
on Thursday, October 13, 2011 at 8:19 pm
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Jesus, thank you that you know the path we take. Thank you that you go before and behind us and that nothing is beyond your control. Lord, I pray you would calm savvy’s anxious heart tonight. I pray you would give her your peace. Thank you that your grace gives her strength and everything she needs right now to make wise decisions and to roll her burdens on to your shoulders. May she rest tonight, Lord, in the shadow of your love and concern for her.
Carrie, with the LYWB team
jb
on Friday, October 14, 2011 at 2:28 pm
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Have you come clean with your parents? Have you gotten right with the Lord?
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Kaylea
on Friday, October 14, 2011 at 4:12 pm
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Hey, Kaylea,

It’s awesome you’ve gained your parents trust over the years!

Moving into adulthood is an incredibly exciting time, but I’d challenge you, Kaylea, to consider how the Lord would want you to honor your parents during the time you have left at home.

This really isn’t about you, friend… or me. It’s about Jesus and His name, His reputation, His ways and HIs plans for your life. While you may have a ton of questions related to what God has for your life in the future, we know this for sure… He wants you to honor your parents. That’s His will for you, Kaylea… and it comes with a promise.

“Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), that it may be will with you, and that you may live long on the earth (Eph. 6:2-3).”

Do the right thing, friend. The Lord will help you know what that looks like if you’ll ask Him.
Megan
Trust
on Friday, October 14, 2011 at 10:46 pm
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I didn't feel right confiding in my parents about stuff I'd done in my life until I was twelve. I'm 15, and am trying not to keep much in anymore.
I really struggled with crushes most of my life. But little by little I have been able to tell my parents and my sisters about them and let me tell you...it REALLY lifts a burden from your heart. I had this one crush that I really hadn't told anyone about. It was a holiday (don't remember which one :P) and we were at my sister's house fixing a nice lunch and all my family was there. All of us girls were in the kitchen and I started talk about guys I liked and things like that. Then my Mom asked me who I thought were good prospects for marriage (when I'm older of course!) and I told her about the guy I hadn't told anyone about yet. I felt FREE suddenly! It was really weird, exciting and amazing at the same time! I don't know how to explain it...it was like I had had a heavy secret locked away deeeeep inside me and suddenly I had unlocked it and let it out. It made me feel happy.
My Mom and I have been close, and I confide in her a lot. She understands my difficulties helps me out. She trusts me so much. I feel guilty sometimes when I think about the times I have been deceptive.
Remember the story I told about the guy I met online? Well, I still haven't told my parents. I feel like they won't trust (ah, the magic word!!) me and maybe even take away my computer privileges. I know I should tell them and I am struggling with it. To tell the truth, I'm scared!

Thanks for the post. I really enjoy this blog and it always encourages me more than you all know to read the posts and the comments. You girls are my I've-never-met buddies. :)

God bless!

-Serving Him
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Megan
on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 4:11 pm
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Hey Megan,

So thankful for the ways God has worked in your life and family! I love the relationship you have with your mom! So great, Megan.

Praying for you to have the courage to do the right thing; don’t let anything rob you of that joy and freedom, friend.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go (Joshua 1:9).
Abby
Megan
on Monday, October 17, 2011 at 9:36 pm
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Prayed for you Megan! Its so wonderful to get things right with your parents! Its a wonderful feeling!
Jas
Re:
on Tuesday, October 18, 2011 at 9:03 am
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I really liked what Carrie, with the LYWB team shared at this link http://www.truewoman.com/?id=1754 , and it's helped alot. Please pray that I will have confidence to drag into the light what satan would love for me to keep in the darkness.
mackenzie
parents and more
on Tuesday, October 18, 2011 at 11:23 pm
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wow this is amazing today in school a girl was telling how her mom didnt trust her i feel as if god has put people in my life to show me what my life could be like if i didnt have such great parents i cant bellieve i just said that well anyways any advice on how to tell people about god and is it wrong to hang out with people that arent christians
B.V
Re:
on Wednesday, October 19, 2011 at 1:08 am
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wow. i spent years sneaking behind my parents back and lying to them. i became such a good liar.... but my mom had the ability to catch me in alot of stuff and eventually the worst of it came to light. Praise JESUS i am free from that and strive to walk in the truth every day. yes, my past comes back and pesters me... still working on that battle.
Heather Sv.
Re:
on Wednesday, October 19, 2011 at 1:10 pm
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Mackenzie: I was told that it is not wrong to be friends with non-Christians, but that they shouldn't be our closest friends. Your closest friends should be people who will build you up and will give you sound advice. And as far as sharing the gospel goes.. idk it just seems to come up in conversation from time to time. And that's when you are just honest about your faith and God's truth in sharing with others. I guess just keep your eyes open and pay attention to places in conversation where it would be "appropriate" to talk about Jesus. And I don't mean appropriate like it would be offensive. I just mean like subtle.

Anyway, hope that helps a tad. =)
Madison Lockhart
Trapped!
on Wednesday, October 19, 2011 at 11:15 pm
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I love my parents. But I hate living in my house...sometimes it feels like prison. I mean I am a straight A student, on weekends I don't do anything but go to my best friend Vanna's house. I'm not even allowed to go on dates! Sometimes I just feel like crying because it's soooo suffocating! I do my very best to please Mom and Dad but it's like, no matter how good I am, I get no freedom!
I mean I don't expect them to turn me loose and let me run wild, but a little leniency every now and then would be nice, ya know? Aren't trustworthy kids supposed to be rewarded? Input, anyone?
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Mackenzie
on Thursday, October 20, 2011 at 1:46 pm
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Hey Mackenzie~

Wow! I love that you and your parents have such a great relationship!

And I’m pumped that you are asking the Lord for opportunities to share your faith! It’s just impossible to keep the good news of what He has done in our lives quiet, isn’t it! We want everyone to know Him!

Here’s two posts that will help you in this, Mackenzie.
Is Your Light On” http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=611
You’re a power house - http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=776

It’s not wrong to have friends that have not yet come to Christ, Mackenzie. But those friendships will look differently than the friendships you have with Christ-followers. Those friendship will be primarily for the purpose of loving them to Jesus… showing them what it means to be His child.

Be very wise about the friends you choose to develop closer relationship with! Proverbs 12:26 says, “A righteous man is caution in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”

In Lies Young Women Believe, Nancy and Dannah write,
"You are called to be a true friend. If your focus is on who likes you, you're not pursuing true friendship. If your focus is on who is asking you to hang out with them, it's all wrong. That's not a spiritual mind-set. Ask the Lord to help you be more concerned about who needs you than who likes you" (Lies Young Women Believe, 109).

You’ll find a list of Biblical qualities to look for in a friend at this link: (http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=458).

Blessings to you today, Mackenzie ~
Carrie
Wow
God Love You
on Wednesday, October 26, 2011 at 8:40 pm
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It depends how old are you but if your parents neverd new who that person was that was good that they checked because what if it was a stranger saying: dont believe God worship me. That will turn your attenchon to God so parents kno sometimes what best for you!
jessica
i feel yah!!
on Thursday, November 3, 2011 at 7:57 pm
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During my freshmen year, i began cutting. i didn't tell anyone for about a month. then i told a close friend of mine and she prayed and helped me through it but i lied alot about doing it and finally, after about a year, she told my mom.. it was the worst time of my life. i couldn't do anything and definitely couldn't be alone. So Sophomore year came and i decided to do what i wanted. i got into the party life... i drank and smoked.. tried weed a couple times.. my parents had ( and still have) no idea. to be honest, i like alcohol and i like to drink. but its wrong. God's plans and wants are better than mine are. Well, i got into trouble later that year and my parents caught me in the middle of a lie and that's all it took! I am now almost halfway through my junior year and still cannot drive since my parents dont trust me, i can't hangout with almost any of my friends, and everything i say or ask to do, they assume im lying. its awful but it is my fault. I pray everyday that i can prove to them that they can trust me.

God is good and He answers prayers.. at the right time.. His time! I've given it to Him and am asking for His strenght everyday!
KingsDaughter
To Rebecca no trust
on Thursday, November 10, 2011 at 7:41 pm
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hi Rebecca,

i just want to encourage you to trust in God. Let him be your guide. Let him lead the way. Talk to him make him your closest friend and you will see how amazingly wonderfull he work this out you. GOD LOVES YOU. he is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
KingsDaughter
past
on Thursday, November 10, 2011 at 7:48 pm
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i to use to be a liar i was so good at that my best friend didn't completely trust me when i say stuff. i also did a lot of things behind my parents back. I was never Got though but i am glad that i saved now and God has change my life around. To people who think their parents is to strict. I would encourage you to appreciate them. they are saving you from of lot. My parents was protective but i was a child who had their trust. that is why i got to do all what i did. when you get older and you look back. You will thank your parents for being the way they are because they Love you.
alexandra
never gonna trusted again
on Wednesday, December 28, 2011 at 5:11 am
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i lied to my parents a lot.. i think the reason is because my mum is a liar and that she have twisted ways to try to know sth.. she doubts a lot since ever i was small and accused me sometimes of doing some things i never did just to know if i do them.. i was a good child as far as ai rememeber but i'm not anymore, filled with sadness and pain and fear.. last year i tried to escape from the country.. it was because i felt i no longer belong to my family and because i was too sad to regain my strength back.. i loved this guy over net from some other country and prepared to go.. and the date of my flight, my mum caught me and from then my life became ever more sad, i couldn't talk to my bf anymore and i loved him like crazy.. he was the only ray of hope i had.. i don't know how to regain their trust or if i ever wanted to regain anythinig in the first place.. cause i think there's no hope in my story and that i'll end up dead one day without knowing what the word happy means..
Lorree, with the LYWB team
re: Alexandra
on Wednesday, December 28, 2011 at 4:08 pm
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I’m so sorry to hear of the pain you are experiencing in your life right now. I want to assure you that God loves you, friend, and He wants to help you through this season of your life. God tells us in Psalm 27:10 that even though our father and mother forsake us, He will take us in. There is no one He will turn away when we believe in the sacrifice His Son, Jesus, made on the cross in our place. God’s ultimate desire for our lives is that we be in a right relationship with Him and in a right relationship, as far as it is in our control, with others. When we do this, we bring Him much honor and glory.

I encourage you to seek your mum’s forgiveness for lying to her. Don’t say you were sorry because you were caught or because you can’t be in contact with your boyfriend. Say you are sorry because lying is a sin and it doesn’t please God. Ask your mum to forgive you. Then you have done what the Lord asks of you. You must also choose to forgive your mum for lying to you – even if she never asks you for forgiveness, you need to forgive her. Ephesians 4:31-32 says:

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

There will come a time when we will all be held accountable for what we have done on this earth (Rom. 14:12). Forgiving doesn’t mean that what your mum did in lying and manipulating you was right. But forgiving turns her over to God who can be trusted to judge her mercifully and justly for her sin.

I’m praying for you, Alexandra, and am asking the Lord to draw you to Himself so that He can heal your hurts (Is. 61:1-4) and restore your joy (Jn. 15:11). God has a wonderful plan for your life (Jer. 29:11) and He will reveal it to you as you trust Him and as you read His Word in order to know Him better.
Mandie
Love it
on Friday, December 30, 2011 at 7:00 pm
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I wonder who your friend you hungout with :) LOL...great to read this...convicting and encouraging....
love you..
mandie
Paula Hendricks
To Mandie
on Tuesday, January 3, 2012 at 4:46 pm
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Ha ha, Mandie. ;) Thanks for the inspiration (and your friendship!). So good to see you here on the blog. Come back often!
Nyra
HELP PLZ!
on Wednesday, February 22, 2012 at 11:48 am
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My parents do not trust me at all, everytime i am starting to gain trust i begin to lose it. i am homeschooled and i really want to go to school. but my mom said that i cannot go to school because of my bad behavior when i was in school. but now i really am trying to gain trust now it has been a week since the last time that i did something against my parents. i am trying to tell my mom that i do not have a chance to prove to them that i am trying to grow bc they are around me 24/7 if they allowed me to go to school then i could have a fresh start with new people and everything but she just is saying that even if she does start to see change that i still cannot go to school please give me some advice on what to do!!!! i will be going to highschool next year and i feel like i really want to go to school because home schooling is not going well at all. they do not understand neither of them was home schooled and this is their first time. how can i gain trust so that i can go to school?
Lorree, with the LYWB team
re: Nyra
on Thursday, February 23, 2012 at 2:41 pm
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I hope you will take the time to read Paula’s blog about re-gaining your parent’s trust. You will find it at http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=824. She shares from her own teen years of the struggles she faced re-establishing her parents trust after it was broken.

God tells us to honor our parents, Nyra (Eph. Eph. 6:1-3). That is the right thing to do. We are to honor them and obey them even when they are not letting us do what we want. I encourage you to ask God to help you show them respect and to help you to be obedient as you try to restore their trust in you. Being immediately obedient, being respectful, helping around the house, encouraging your parents and staying true to your word are some great ways to work towards re-build that trust.

Be sure and check your heart motives, Nyra. If you choose to be cooperative and obedient to your parents for the sole purpose of getting to go to high school next year, your motivation is wrong. You should want to restore their trust because God says you are to honor your parents and obedience, cooperation are part of that.

You need to remember that this will take time – sometimes a lot of time will need to go by as you prove to your parents that you are trustworthy again. Each time you breach that trust, it will be like you are starting at square one again.

Homeschooling can be difficult for the entire family – especially during the first year as schedules and roles are adjusted. I encourage you to do all you can to be cooperative and submissive to your parents even if you don’t like what is going on in your life.

I’ve prayed for you today, Nyra, and have asked the Lord to work in your heart and your life so that all you do brings honor and glory to Him. God has a way through this, friend. He wants to use this situation to refine you and to mold you into the likeness of Jesus (Rom. 8:29). I encourage you, my friend, to keep your heart soft towards His working in your life (Is. 64:8). It will go well with you as you do.
Ana
Never Ending
on Monday, March 5, 2012 at 3:20 am
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I'm 18 in a week and for the past 2 years i have been grounded on and off constantly due to being caught smoking marijuana. I am currently grounded again but really have stopped smoking, not because my parents told me to. I decided to stop before the commencement of year 12 and i had but my parents found out before then and therefore, as i quote my dad "will never trust anything that comes out of my mouth again." The problem is that i've been smoking in order to numb out my feelings of sadness, frustration and anger which my parents don't understand. My mum sent me to a phsychologist which noticed my depression.. i still havnt told my parents because im intimidated to talk to them about anything as they constantly knock me down and tell me that im making it all up. I don't know what to do anymore and have just given up.. yet my mum still acts rude toward me.
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Re:
on Thursday, March 8, 2012 at 2:09 pm
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Oh, my friend…you are in a good place because the Lord is clearly at work in your life. He loves you so, Ana, and wants to free you from the bondages, the hurt, bitterness and depression you have known.
Jesus is all about life, Ana. He’s about bringing His resurrection life into the lives of those who find themselves in impossible situations. He’s about unwrapping us from the “grave clothes” that keep us in captivity to sin. ( If you get a chance read John 11:1-44 and ask the Lord to show you how Lazarus’ story could relate to your own… you’re going to love it!)
I’d like to send you a resource that will help you in your journey, Ana. You may email me at info@reviveourhearts.com and I’ll share more about it.
Praying for you today, friend!!
Lost
Jlu
on Friday, April 13, 2012 at 7:20 am
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That same thing happened to me but my BFs mom texted my mom because I told him I couldnt date him
That teen
Re:
on Thursday, June 7, 2012 at 11:27 pm
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My parents have no trust in me because of something that happened almost 2 years ago. Every time I'm going to a friends house they ask who's exactly going to be there and say that I can't stay the night. I was going to go camping this weekend with friends but my parents said they don't want me getting in with the wrong crowd. Yet my best friend smokes pot everyday and I'm aloud to hangout with him whenever I want and stay the night, and I'm positive they know.
Julie
Lost parents trust
on Saturday, June 9, 2012 at 11:00 am
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I have lost my parents trust so bad that I feel like I'm in a sinkhole and I can't get out. I am 15 and this wasn't the first time I have already lost their trust this has been the fourth time with the same boy.

I was not allowed to date and I couldn't handle it anymore I had just met an amazing guy that I wanted to be with but I knew that my parents would say no so I dated him in secret. They found out by text messages on my fone and they talked to me and said I'm not ready yet and gave back my fone if I had promised to stop so I did.... For a while

2 months later I started dating him again and got caught a second time so this time my parents talked to me and gave it back after a week and again I promised I would stop.

5 months later they read my messages again and they find out that we had kissed because of what we were saying to each other and how I told my friend, this time they talked to me and gave my fone back after a month. And again I promised to stop.

6 months later I did the worst thing yet. I found myself sending inappropriate text messages and my parents found out. This was just recently and I don't know what to do. I am so ashamed and upset and I feel so upset. I feel like I've betrayed my parents and god. I don't know how to make it up to either. I know they both hav unconditional love for me but this time I've wronged them the worst. I don't know how I got to this point and now I'm stuck. I have to quit all my activities that I love and my phone is taken away for good I believe. I think what has hit me the worst is that I have began to just realize my parents have given me so much trust and instead of getting better like I promised I would do it has gotten worse I just need help badly.

My parents have given me everything I wanted and want to give me the best life I can possibly have and time and time again I seem to loose all that I have with them and somehow they have always forgiven me but now I don't know how to get their trust back so please help me I need advice!!!
Lorree, with the LYWB team
That Teen
on Monday, June 11, 2012 at 5:38 pm
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I’m so sorry to hear that you have lost your parent’s trust. It sounds like your parents care very much for you and want to protect you, friend. I know this is a hard time for you, but your parents are doing just what God wants them to—protect, guide and be there for you.

I encourage you to confess your sin to God and repent from the wrong you have done – whatever caused your parents to lose trust. He is faithful and will forgive your sin (1 Jn. 1:9). I would also encourage you to humbly seek your parent’s forgiveness. Be open and honest with them and keep that line of open and honest communication open with them. Don’t assume they know about what your best friend is doing. It will go a long ways in rebuilding that trust with them as you are consistently open, honest, obedient and respectful.

Paula’s part 2 to this blog gives suggestions for rebuilding the trust between you and your parents: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=824. Regaining their trust is going to take time, so I encourage you to do all you can to obey, respect and honor your parents, Friend. God will use this in your life for your good as you surrender it into His hands. I’m praying for you, friend.
Lorree, with the LYWB team
Julie
on Monday, June 11, 2012 at 5:40 pm
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I’m so sorry for the loss you are experiencing. It sounds to me like your parents care very much for you and want to protect you from going down a wrong road. That’s why God gave us parents – to protect, guide and be there for us. I am glad to see that you see that they truly care for you!

I encourage you to confess your sin to God and repent from the wrong you have done – the act of disobedience to your parents. He is faithful and will forgive your sin (1 Jn. 1:9). I would also encourage you to humbly seek your parent’s forgiveness. Keep that line of open and honest communication open with them at all costs.

Then you need to repent – that means to turn and go in the opposite direction. Spend time in the Word, Julie, and spend this time of your life growing in your relationship with Him. I encourage you to read the blog that Paula wrote to follow up this one: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=824. I think her testimony and suggestions for handling this will be an encouragement to you.

Because of the temptations you have met and not handled well, it is probably best to cut off your relationship with this guy. I encourage you to do all you can to walk in obedience to your parents and to honor them. Regaining their trust is going to take time, but as you do all you can to honor and respect them and to obey them, they will slowly begin to rebuild their trust in you again.

I’m praying for you Julie. I’m asking Him to grow you in the knowledge and grace of Jesus Christ (2 Pet. 3:18) and to use this in your life for your good (Gen. 50:20).