The Lie that didn't make the book: Its just fashion!

posted by Erin Davis on 04/24/08 | Twitter: @ErinGraffiti
Category: Guys; ; 94 comments

    Recently, several of you have been duking it out right here on the blog about the topic of fashion—specifically cleavage! Many of you are adamant that low cut shirts and short skirts are fine. Others disagree. In fact, the debate has gotten so heated; that many of your comments haven’t made the blog because the way you presented your arguments was enough to make me blush (and believe me, I am not easily shocked or embarrassed).
   What’s interesting is that so much debate has been sparked on a topic that we barely mention in the book. But we certainly do want you understand the truth about modesty and the destructive power of immodesty. So, let’s talk about it.
   Dannah Gresh is the co-author of “Lies Young Women Believe. She is also the author of “Secret Keeper” a little book that has a lot to say about this subject. She addressed these very issues in an article for Brio Magazine several years ago. Let’s take a look.

    Do you have a "most embarrassing moment"?

    I sure do.

    I once stood outside the driver’s side of my minivan, the door wide open, while I bent over the seat to reach my stuff inside. It was a loooong reach. As I turned to slam the door shut with my arms loaded, I noticed a guy sitting in his car right beside me with his jaw dropped so low that his mouth looked like the Grand Canyon. His face was red when I caught him staring.

    That’s when the draft hit me — a cool spring breeze announcing to me that the hem of my skirt was wrapped around my waist, and my underwear was the featured view. You can guess who was blushing now!

    I was on the way to my high-paying, high-profile, fast-paced advertising agency when that happened several years ago. Okay, so it wasn’t high-paying or high-profile. It was fast-paced. And it was also intriguing. I learned some of the amazing tricks that advertisers use to control your pocketbook . . . and your mind. Most interesting to me was the power of your body. (Yes, I did say your body.)

    Got a few minutes? Let’s talk, Girlfriend!

    Lesson No. 1: Your Body = Power
    Advertising researchers have actually attached little wires to reader’s eyeballs to follow the visual path and figure out what makes someone spend time reading an ad, increasing an advertiser’s chance of sales! Crazy, huh? They’ve discovered lots of little tricks that will increase the viewing time by one percent ... two percent . . . maybe three percent. But if you really want to stop the reader, use a woman!

    I’ve heard different numbers, but it seems a photo of a woman will increase the length of time someone spends with an ad by anywhere from 14 percent to 30 percent. Waaaaay more than anything else!

    That’s what first made me think about the incredible alluring power of the female body. And guess what — God’s Word affirms that power! I’d like you to hear it from a guy’s perspective. Here’s my husband, Bob.

Bob Says:
    God knew what He was doing when He created you. He originally created woman to complete and finish man. Check it out! In Genesis 2:18, God Himself says, "It is not good for man to be alone."

    Alone? The God of the universe was walking and talking with Adam. How could he have been alone? God could have easily filled the void in Adam. He didn’t. Instead, He crafted a masterpiece — woman! You are one of those masterpieces! And you’ve been given all of the power of a masterpiece that is worthy of every glance you receive.

    Given the purpose, it’s not a stretch to believe that our carefully crafted and curved bodies create quite a stir in guys. A girl’s body really drives a guy crazy.

    According to God, there should be one catch to all that craziness. Check out Proverbs 5:18-19 where it tells a man to "rejoice in the wife of your youth . . . may you be ever captivated by her love."

    The word captivated would be better translated "intoxicated" since that’s what the Hebrew writer was trying to say. Imagine this: Your husband filled with a holy drunken stupor at your presence. That’s what God wants for you one day if His plan for you includes marriage.

    But there’s a catch. Notice the earlier part of the verse where it says, "the wife." In other words, one woman. Again and again the Bible reconfirms that this intoxication is only to be shared with one guy — and after you’re married.

    Until then, it’s under wraps . . . a secret to be shared with your husband. As you might have noticed, girls today aren’t the best secret keepers. They flaunt their bodies in hip-huggers complemented by belly rings, miniskirts matched to high heels, tight shirts to go with tighter pants and . . . well, I could go on.

    But, wait! you’re thinking. That’s just today’s fashion!

Lesson No. 2: Showing Less Controls More
    Let me tell you about the Gestalt Theory! (Warning: College-level brain food ahead!) The Gestalt Theory teaches a graphic designer to control a viewer’s time by forcing him or her to mentally complete a visual image. Because the brain is intrigued by completing the incomplete, it will always pause to finish an unfinished picture.

    Check out this trio of circles. What else do you see? You think you see a triangle, because that’s the most common image that your brain wants to use to complete this.

    How do you think this theory works when a girl walks down the street in front of a guy wearing a tight shirt with her belly bared? Yikes! You really need a guy’s perspective on this. So here’s Bob again.

Bob Says:
    It’s much more tempting for a guy to see a girl dressed in today’s skimpy fashion than it would be to see her naked. Does that astound you? It’s true. A Christian couple I know recently flew to France for vacation. At one point, this pair unwittingly stayed in a hotel next to a nude beach. It wasn’t tempting at all. In fact, my friend was rather grossed out.

    There was nothing left to the imagination . . . which is the most tempting part of immodesty. The control comes from the unfinished picture and the imagination that it takes to complete it. If a guy sees a girl walking around in tight clothes, a miniskirt or short shorts, you might as well hang a noose around the neck of his spiritual life. To us, this is not "just fashion." It’s a constant source of spiritual failure. Have some mercy!

    I have a confession to make. That day my skirt tried to strangle me, I’d created my most embarrassing moment. My skirt was too short and too tight, but I really thought it was "just fashion" that made me look good. Though I didn’t struggle with immodesty before I was married, I did find myself falling prey to fashion’s whims after I was out from under my parents’ watchful eyes.

    I know how hard this is.

    Sometimes I walk through a mall or along a crowded sidewalk and see heads turning toward a girl who’s dressed like Britney Spears. And . . . are you ready for this true confession . . . I wish it was me turning those heads! Don’t you feel that way sometimes? We ache to be noticed and adored. That’s where knowing these advertising tricks could get dangerous. I know that you could abuse the power of showing less to control more. Please don’t do that. I think you’ll miss the truth behind the power of your body if you do what we find in lesson number three.

Lesson No. 3: Perceived Value Increases Worth
    In the early days of our marketing business, we designed company logos for approximately $1,250. One day, because we were concerned with how time-consuming the logos were, we hiked our prices up . . . to $8,000. We expected to have far less logo work to do, but instead, we had more! It was the perceived higher value that drove the demand and the worth of the project. When clients perceived that this project required not only a great deal of financial investment but also a patient investment of time, they wanted it badly.

    The same principle is at work when you dress either immodestly or modestly. Immodesty removes the obstacles and invites any guy to desire you in his mind. It’s a cheap thrill requiring no investment on his part. It offers him the power of your body at his control.

    Modesty protects the true secret of your body for one man, requiring him to invest time, romance and passion into your life in order to one day enjoy your allure. It invites a guy to earn your virtuosity.

    No matter how much temporary attention immodesty may gain you, it will never equal the thrill of passion that follows a life protected by the power of modesty. Does it mean you’ll be less attractive? On the contrary. (I’ll never figure out a guy’s mind.) Again, I give you Bob.

Bob Says:
    When we were dating, Dannah presented herself with impeccable modesty. It didn’t dampen my desire for her. In fact, it fueled it. She could’ve worn a burlap sack, and I’d have been attracted to her. I can’t explain it, but a guy yearns most for what he can’t have. Because Dannah did not freely give herself, I desired to earn her.

    Admit it. You want to be desired! Me, too.

    The question is: Will you be desired by guys looking for a cheap thrill in their minds? Or will you be romantically and passionately pursued because your modesty demands it?

    Modesty is the first line of defense for your purity. When a guy perceives that this has been protected, he’ll rise to romance you and earn your heart. It may not happen for a few years, but the best things in life are worth the wait. And that’s it — my lessons in modesty from the world of advertising. Hey, speaking of advertising, Philippians 4:5 says, "Let your modesty be known to all!" Advertise that!

What Are You Advertising?
    So what’s a girl to do with all the "just fashion" mentality that advertisers carefully toss her way? I recommend you start in your closet. Why not take inventory of your wardrobe today? Do this with a friend. It’s as easy as 1-2-3.

    1. Make three piles. One is the "Cheap Thrills Pile." In this pile, you’ll toss all the clothes you’ve been wearing that invite a guy to complete the picture of your body in his mind. This includes anything that shows too much skin, such as short shorts or shirts and low shirts or pants — as well as anything that shows too much shape — tight sweaters, jeans or T-shirts. Ceremonially trash these with your friend!

    2. The second pile is your "Power Pile." In this one, put anything that actually hides the secrets of your alluring body in a fashionable and comfortable manner. These go back into your closet and drawers. These items make up a part of your high price tag that will require one man to pay a high price to earn your heart.

    3. The final pile? That’s your "Fuzzy Friend" pile. You’re a bit "fuzzy" on these items. They could go either way, so you’re going to ask your friend to make the decision for you. Whatever she says goes. Don’t compromise. (And by the way . . . moms and dads make great friends for this project!)

This article appeared in Brio magazine. Copyright © 2002 Dannah Gresh. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

   So, what do you think? Is it possible that wearing low-cut shirts and short skirts, could be sinful, even when your intentions are innocent? Is this an area where Satan lies to us? What are the consequences of believing those lies? Do the clothes in your closet indicate that you’ve been operating under the assumption that it’s just fashion instead of intentionally saving your allure for your husband? We’d love to hear about it.
   And, be sure to check out our next post, where my friend Scott, who just happens to be a handsome, funny, talented 18-year-old boy, offers his perspective on what you’ve been saying. I think his thoughts will surprise you.

Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we�re not trained counselors. If you�re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they�ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

Lael

THANK YOU!!!!
on Friday, April 25, 2008 at 6:01 pm

I so agree in what you are saying, I can't say how much it encourged me. I attended a girl's conference at my church last month and this post is just reinforcing what was taught. The clothes that we as girls (I'm sixteen by the way) wear do send messages to the guys that are in our lives. With me, and the Christian guys that I know, I hope I will never be a stumbling block in their moral and spiritual life.
Thanks Erin for the encourgement....there are some of us out here that need the reinforement in the truths that we believe.

Bryan

Girls clothing
on Saturday, May 10, 2008 at 8:02 pm

I find this to be very true. I was listening last week when the program was on WCRF in Cleveland Ohio. I am 40, single, and have no girl in my life. I must say that as much as I want to live as Jesus wants me to, I cannot help looking out on the street, on TV, and even on the internet at women who dress like what you describe. As a man I need god's help not to look. Not to lust. But I fail so badly. I was raised in a Christian home, but the issue of dressing never came up. My mother was heavy and not real attractive, and I never thought about it until High School, so Mom and I never had a talk about how to treat a woman. Men need a sermon on that also. But it is so difficult. The desire for woman is more than I can handle sometimes. I want so bad to be like Jesus and lot let lust take over. Please pray for me that god will help me with this issue in my life. I don't have the desire after my first marriage did not work out to ever trust a woman again for marriage but I must say I emotionally need to find some other way to vent needs.
Bryan
Akron Ohio

Brittany

Bryan
on Monday, May 12, 2008 at 4:12 pm

Hey, I'm a girl, and I still know how you feel... The desires are crazy, right? And you wonder why God put them in your life before you were allowed to act upon them? Check out 1 Corinthians 10:13.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
-Brittany

bryan Porter

Brittany
on Tuesday, May 13, 2008 at 8:30 pm

Thanks so much for the verse of encouragement. It is also nice to know that women have feelings like this also. Most don't let us guys know they really feel that way so we have no clue. I went for years thinking I was some kind of freak because I was always wanting a woman so bad. Have a wonderful day and thank you again for your response.
Bryan

Sarah

Re:
on Tuesday, May 13, 2008 at 10:59 pm

Yeah, I definately think that wearing anything too short, lowcut... is wrong, even of your intentions are not. (It doesn't really matter to the guy walking past if your intentions are innocent or not, and he's not going to ask you.) There are so many women wearing clothes to make men lust, and we look just like them in those type of clothes. I don't believe it's just fashion, I think that it's a lie of the devil planned for our downfall, and so many have believed it.
And yet it is hard to go against the flow. I have a cousin who wears "fashionable" clothes, and is a big flirt...and it is sometimes hard not to get caught up in those ways, because I don't want people to think of me as "no fun" or a "goodygoody" person. ah, life is tough!

kaitlyn nelson

guys who wont stop asking me out when i have a boyfreind
on Wednesday, May 14, 2008 at 3:12 pm

how do you get guys to quit asking you out when you are dating someone ? this is really brothering me several guys have asked me and i keep telling them no cuz im dating someone and they still wont leave me alone what should i do ?

Erin Davis

Response to Kaitlyn
on Thursday, May 15, 2008 at 11:25 am

Hey Kaitlyn.

I am sorry that you are having this problem.

First, if the problem has escalated to the point that you fell harassed, get some adult help. They can help you communicate the message that the way these boys are taking to you not okay.

Also, I would advise you to just double check that you aren't unintentionally doing something to make these guys think that you're interested. Is it possible that the way that you dress, talk, or act could be considered flirtatious? Then, make sure that you are being extra clear with them when you tell them "no." Be kind but firm.

Erin Davis
LYWB Blog Moderator

Bryan Porter

Kaitlyn
on Thursday, May 15, 2008 at 11:26 am

If the same guy is always asking you out, Stop talking to him. Just ignore him when he walks into the room, if he starts to talk to you, give him a simple answer like No thanks, and walk away. Some times women give men signals with out knowing it. I have seen men who think that because a woman is nice and talks to him, he thinks there is hope for more. Some of us guys don't get it. We are think headed and stuborn. Also if you are constantly wearing tight clothing, with nice make up, you are making guys look at you. This gets them emotionally excited, and they cannot help them selves. Just guard how you act, how you look at guys, what you wear.

Last Edit: on Thursday, May 15, 2008 at 12:18pm by edavis

Tallulah

Clothing and modesty
on Thursday, May 15, 2008 at 5:19 pm

Hey! Thank you sooo much for this website. I have been reading LYWB and it is so helpful! I am almost 15, and have been trying to dress modestly since I became a christian (when I was 8). About a year ago God led our family to wear skirts. I'm not saying that pants are immodest, but certainly the majority of them are. It was really hard at first to give up wearing pants (my style was jeans and hoodies) but now I have found it a lot easier to dress modestly. Also, I have noticed that when I wear skirts, guys respect me more! When you dress modestly you are not attracting the wrong kind of guys, but the ones who are really serious about God, and YOU! I just wanted to encourage all of you out there who feel like you have to dress imodestly to feel good about yourself.

Psalm 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

Last Edit: on Friday, May 16, 2008 at 1:22pm by edavis

Brittany

Bryan
on Thursday, May 15, 2008 at 6:31 pm

It's always good to know that you're not alone in your feelings, or in anything else. I've learned and studied those verses forever now, and recently, they've been kicking in. I'm glad I could help. (: Have a good week!
-Brittany

Erin Davis

Tallulah
on Friday, May 16, 2008 at 1:25 pm

Tallulah,

While I think it is a great idea for you to correspond with other Christians, we don't allow girls to post their personal information, such as email addresses here on the blog. So, I deleted that from your previous post. Since we have no way to monitor who sees this and who might contact you if your contact information is available, we do this for your own protection.

Thanks for you comments though. You have some really great thoughts and ideas!

Erin Davis
LYWB Blog Moderator

Haven

...
on Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 8:14 pm

This is kind of like Kaitlyn's question, so I'm open to all opinions.
I dress really modestly. I'm talkig hoodie and jeans pretty much all the time (except during the summer), but guys are still attracted. It's not guys my age though, it's guy 4-5 years older. I'd say it was my heart that they're attracted to, but at least two of them aren't really on track with God, so I'm guessing it's not my heart. Any thoughts on why they'd be attracted when I'm modest?

*~Childhoodbeauty~*~Teenagestolenheart~*

Low cut shirts fashion
on Tuesday, May 20, 2008 at 7:27 pm

We all know that when we reveal part of ouyr body sutch as cleavadge it turns guys on but some of us like that freedomof those low cut shirts but we all know that lust is the last thing we would like for guys to be doing over us and then better yet have no respect for us!!But yet with that comes power of having the guys addore you but honney you are wrong they are worshipping at your breast and body but i still love l;ow cut stuff but i love the power of the guys talking to me and complimenting me how can i do taht and still be modest and not be the lustie of attention?

meg

tnx:-)
on Wednesday, May 21, 2008 at 12:21 am

this was really encouraging:-) tnx again for writing all these fashion things! i was like totally encouraged by this... thank you it was like a total "eye-opener" to how a guy thinks... just like um *�childhoodbeauty�* i want to be noticed but not make my brother in Christ fall! like her, i like shirts that are sometimes lower or tighter than they should be... but like( i think it was the oter article thing )that guy that said he wants to know a girl without triying to gt to know her cuz she's "hot" i don't wanna make them lust after me or anione else. i guess it's kinda frustrating in this society. tnx for your blog anyway
:-) it helps...

Mecia

swimsuits?!?!?!
on Thursday, May 22, 2008 at 1:58 pm

so it is summer wher i live and swimming lesson assistant is my job this summer they require a 1 piece and that is fine with me.
2 pieces?????
what is modest and wht isnt with my height it is hard to find 1 pieces that dont look skanky with out buying a 40 or 50$ swimsuit like that swimteams wear.
2 pieces like tankini's are small looking on me because i am so long
bikinies have like nothing to them anymore and that is what i wear when im swimming with my buddies at the pool or lake so what is modest and what isnt? help! thanks so much
Mecia

Lisa

God was not joking girls...
on Thursday, May 22, 2008 at 11:40 pm

God commanded us to dress with modesty and in such a way as to not attract attention from the opposite sex. There is really no excuse for showing your body unless you are trying to get attention.

DO you really want part in the pornography addiction men have? And yes when you show your body to guys you are being pornographic and immodest and they cannot handle it. If you could see inside the heart of a guy who struggles with this issue, you may want to change your ways. Go find a good book on the issue, an auto bio from men who struggle with this.

I stopped dressing this way many years ago and now I have two boys 7 and 1 and the most important thing for me is to dress in such a way that they see what a lady is supposed to dress like. and not allow them to watch things at home with any kind of immodest dress and I do not allow any kid of media in my home with such dress either. When I get a victoria secret mag I toss it in the trash before I come in the house so my boys wont have to let those images into their eye gates.

This is not just a fashion thing girls its a spiritual thing. Go to God and pray about it and if your heart is open to what he has to say then you will hear him loud and clear:)

Aria

You're totally right
on Friday, May 23, 2008 at 6:13 pm

its such a blessing and totally encouraging to see that people agree with me on my views of modesty! it's SO huge to be modest and "offer our bodies as living sacrifices for Christ". some of my closest Christian friends don't think that being modest is important as it really is!

Susanna

Totally Radical!!
on Tuesday, May 27, 2008 at 8:28 am

What a spectacular article!! It gave me goosebumps. ;-) Thanks so much for sharing it. It's encouraging to know that I'm not the only one that realizes the need for modesty. Being from Mennonite background, I get weird looks from some people, but I can tell when someone appreciates how I dress. Modesty is a code! You will meet some awesome people if you are dressed modestly. I've had complete strangers walk up to me and ask for prayer for someone in their family. What a blessing!!

In Christ,
Susanna

Victoria

To Mecia
on Tuesday, May 27, 2008 at 6:30 pm

I have that problem with swimsuits too.. Bikinis are not for my body type and my mom would never by me one.. Tankinis come as separate tops and bottoms so that can get expensive.. 1 pieces are so expensive. I have to look in Kohls or J.C.Pennys. Walmart and Kmart never have my size.. I usually try to get one that is modest at the bottom.( I prefer skirts but that doesnot happen often) I f it is modest at the bottom ( does not ride up or anything) then it usually is pretty good at the top.. I might have to be careful diving but just hanging out it is fine. I do have to pay the extra money but usually I can get 2-3 years out of it.. Did I mention this is in the womens department? It is not the girls or teens or junoirs or whatever.. It is the womens. And most of the suits are nice looking with cool colors and such.. Also if you are not sure ask your dad if he would want his daughter to wear the suit in question in public.. Would he be alright with it or not?

Kinsey McDaniel

halter tops and tube tops
on Wednesday, May 28, 2008 at 4:12 pm

I want to dress in a way that would honor God, but sometimes I slip up. One time around my birthday, my aunt bought me a really cute halter top. I really liked it, but I always felt kind of funny when I wore it. I finally realized that I shouldn't wear it because it got me the wrong kind of attention. It's really hard to find cute tops that don't have low necklines or are are sleeveless or strapless. Recently, I went to the Pure fashion show - it was awesome! The girls had found cute ways to make some pretty but immodest outfits trendy but modest. Going to the show was an inspiration for me. Thanks!

Sherri C.

Porn and modesty
on Wednesday, May 28, 2008 at 9:39 pm

I have to agree with Lisa on her comments about guys who are addicted to porn. I am the daughter of a man who struggled with that sin for many years and still does to this day. When women and girls dress immodestly, what do you think it's doing to them? And even if they aren't addicted to porn, men are very sight-oriented, visual creatures and it's very difficult for them not to notice when a girl is dressed inappropriately. Put yourself in the wife or girlfriend of the guy who is looking's place. You wouldn't want your guy looking at another girl, so you also shouldn't dress so that it causes a guy to look. Porn has a stronghold on my father, and I'm sure his thoughts are very impure. It makes me sick to imagine what he could be thinking about a young girl who is dressed immodestly. Think about it girls. One more thing. We did a study on this book in a class of teen girls that I teach. I even gave every girl her own copy. This is some of the best info. out there on this topic. Thanks for the book.

Jess N.

Fashion
on Sunday, June 1, 2008 at 9:24 pm

The way girls AND guys dress is outragious! This is coming from a 16 alomst 17 year old. The teens now represent themselves so badly it isn't funny. They dress like they should be standing out on the curb somewhere looking for someone to sleep with. Its terrible!! I can't imagine what God is thinking. He has tried so hard to make this world in the image of himself and the devil is trying to take it over in the fashion part of the world!!! So I am going to try and pray for me to help God in the ways he wants me to AND STAY COVERED UP!!

Lisa

REPLY TO HAVEN
on Wednesday, June 4, 2008 at 11:43 pm

Haven,

Guys are going to be attracted to us no matter what we do, some of the times I get hit on the most is when I am wearing sweats and a t shirt.... The tricks is to act like a lady and dress like a lasy and then you know you have done your part. You dont have to dress like a hermit either. You can still dress fun and cute and be modest:)

Leah

I Agree!
on Thursday, June 5, 2008 at 10:08 am

I so agree that modesty is very important.
I desided to pay attention one day while out shopping to what kind of guys "noticed" me. I wasn't trying to get attention, just being myself. I pretty much only wear long skirts, though I work on a farm so then I wear jeans =), and the ones that were ungodly would look at me for a second and go about their business. But the few that were probably christians would smile in a friendly way and some will even offer to open the door for you. Now heres my point in all that. Do I really want anything to do with those who only want a girl who dresses to show off her body? NO WAY!!
I'm going on 19, and want to marry a godly young man who dearly loves the Lord, and who loves mr for who I am, not for how I look.

Bridgette

modesty
on Wednesday, June 11, 2008 at 8:00 pm

I am sooooo excited and I just had to tell all of you about this- I found a bathing suit today, that was modest, like really modest! It is a tank-top top that is not too low cut and it also has a skirt! It's a one piece, so you can go tubing in it too! I found it a J.C. Penny (i only paid $40 for it b/c it was 1/2 off, they are regularly 80, but hey) just thought i'd share the news!!

Sarah

re:
on Thursday, June 12, 2008 at 12:00 am

REALLY! congradulations! JCPenny's!?! I have NEVER, EVER seen a modest swim suit there. I got a pretty modest swim suit last year (you don't want to know how much I spent for it. Sickening, spending so much, but it was all we could find.) I'm happy for you that you could find one. That's usually rare.

Tallulah

bathing suits
on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 12:54 pm

There has been some talk about modest bathing suits (ones that you can actually swim in!) and I just wanted to share that my family has found a website called www.swimmodest.com and it sells feminine modest swimwear. I know they cost a bit more, but I would rather pay more and be modest!

michelle

swimsuits
on Friday, June 20, 2008 at 4:06 pm

i'm pretty tall and so one pieces are virtually impossible to find! i wear a mix of bikinis and tankinis. but the bikinis i wear aren't like the skimpy ones and i always wear board shorts on bottom. is that still considered immodest?

Elisha

Re: Tallulah about wearing skirts
on Monday, June 23, 2008 at 1:23 pm

Hey Tallulah,
I am so glad I am not the only one's to wear skirts, my mom and dad had decided when we were very small that our family would always wear skirts or dresses because they seem to be more modest, well after my mom died (I was 8) I still wore skirts until about 2yrs ago (i'm 19) I started rebelling against my dad and didnt see any reason why I couldnt wear pants, Guys paid attention to me when I wore skirts but when I started wearing pants...WOW...especially the tight fitting, low cut stuff, they really did a double take...I really liked it! I also did other things that I knew would displease my dad, for one I got my ears peirced three more plus the first! Well about this time last year God brought me out of rebellion but kinda as a habit I still wore pants, I had to sort of have help from my christian friends in encouraging me to wear tops that didnt show cleavage, but were still flattering to my body (they dont have to be tight to flatter your body).
All my clothes were modest but considering I have weird shaped body I couldnt find very many pairs of pants that fit me loosley, or modestly.
About 3 weeks ago I was looking in the mirror before bed about to wash my face when I felt the Lord saying to me "Elisha, you are still in rebellion." of course my answer was "Lord what am I rebelling in"
and he said "look at your ears, they still have peircings that displease your father, and your pants they also displease him." I bowed my head and asked forgiveness, I know some people probably think I am a hypocrite because I used to make fun of girls who wore dresses and skirts.
I feel such a peace when I put on my skirts and modest shirts everyday :) the Lord is good and he blesses us when we obey our fathers! Plus the guys that used to take a double take, now look and kinda cock their heads probably wondering where they have seen me before...but your right, I think we do get more respect from guys when they see a girl who wears a skirt...I dont know why but I have seen MANY guys give me a look of respect when I walk by and I have come to cherish that rather than that double take which to me seems to be a bad taste in m y mouth.
BTW: I am not in any way saying that girls that wear pants are bad, especially if your father and mother do not mind...I am only saying that I recieved freedom from the Lord through my realizing that I was not honoring my father by doing what he desired.(Exodus 20:12
� Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.) Jesus Bless all you Girls who are trying to do what is right fashion wise in God's sight...btw if you walked by Jesus in a mini skirt or skin tight jeans and low cut shirt what would you feel like...I know I would feel terrible!!! When you cause a man to lust by wearing those kind of things, you cause him to commit adultry in his mind and heart (Matthew 5:28
But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.)

Tallulah

To Elisha
on Monday, June 23, 2008 at 5:43 pm

Hey!

I totally agree about honoring your parents. My stepdad prefers for us to wear our hair long because it's more feminine. Thats NOT saying that short hair is bad, it's just what he prefers. It feels great to do such a small thing for your dad.

stephanie b.

Modesty
on Tuesday, June 24, 2008 at 10:12 pm

I have never been terribly immodest, but I have worn short shorts that were a nude color. I am glad to say that I don't wear them anymore! I also found a very modest swimsuit! The youth girls at my church are doing a study on the book. ''Lies that young women believe". I think it's great so far.

Taylor

WHY??
on Thursday, June 26, 2008 at 1:42 am

WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT THEIR CLEAVAGE HANGING OUT OF THEIR SHIRT??? it will just attract the guys that want you for the wrong reasons!! Besides I am very curious to know what you would do if God appeared to you and asked you about your low cut short skirt outfit?? Well GOD IS WACTHING SO JUST DO EVERYONE A FAVOR AND BE MODEST!!!!

Last Edit: on Thursday, June 26, 2008 at 10:05am by edavis

tessa

i dont think so!
on Thursday, June 26, 2008 at 3:17 pm

i dont think that all the stuff that the girls these days is "just fasion".i think its just a way of getting guys to notice us!right?

sarah kathryn

What guys think
on Thursday, June 26, 2008 at 4:22 pm

Hey,
Dressing modestly is a big issue to so many teen girls, and I know it can get pretty hard. I think you should read "For Young Women Only". I can't remember the author right now, but it is a great book!

Luvs Chocolate :)

MODESTY is hard, sometimes :D
on Wednesday, July 2, 2008 at 4:07 pm

well, for me it is sometimes!!!!!

First I need to say something.
IF YOU ALL THINK BEING MODEST WILL KEEP YOU RIGHT WITH GOD, YOU ARE WRONG. ( I got this impression from reading some of the things you all wrote.)

Theres more to being right with God than that. Its having a healthy relationship with Him that leads you to be more Christ like.
In Romans Paul says the only way to be made right with God is by your faith :)

Therefore, if you struggle with modesty at times like me, its prob because you need to spend more time with God, or Satan is just tempting you. So you either need to examine your relationship with God or just realize Satan is just tempting you.

Anyways, modesty is the way to go!

It dosen't mean you have wear pants or a baggy sweatshirt all the time. It simply means wearing clothing that isn't to revealing or tight!

For example, I like to wear long shorts a lot and t shirts with flip flops or so on! There are any different styles of long shorts out there!
Being modest isn't the end of the world! There are a lot of clothing styles to choose from! :)))

You DON"T HAVE TO BE EXTREME ON EiTHER END!

You can wear shorts ( as long as their not super short).
You can waer skirts too ( as long as they don't show a lot of leg)

Let me know what you guys think! I'm not the best writer, so I'm sorry if my writing is kind of confusing! AH! :)

Emily

hmm...
on Thursday, July 3, 2008 at 11:33 am

okay, i'm going to try to get all of my thoughts on here. there's SO many comments, but i hope i touch everything without going overboard! haha.
modesty is very important to me, bottom line. i've just read the for young women only book and i STRONGLY recommend it to ALL of you! it is SO good, ladies! my eyes were truly opened by it. i never wear mini skirts, even if i had the body for it, i just wouldn't. shorts are always past my finger tips, usually a few inches past that, because i don't have toothpick legs, haha. my shirts never, ever show any cleavage, not that i really could. but i still have a rule of thumb that's kind of hard to explain on here, but i'll still try to. i put the palm of my hand on my chest, with my thumb right on the center of my collar bone, y'know where that kind of dip is? then were my pinky is, that's where my shirt should be. if my shirt goes anywhere below that, even the slightest bit, it's too low, period. i got this rule from a book called secret keeper.
moving on! haha. yes, yes! i completely agree that guys are visual creatures. that's SO true. and do we want to attract MOG's [aka, men of God!]? heck to the yes! so why dress in ANY way that would attract anyone less worthy than what we deserve, girls? i KNOW i am fearfully and wonderfully made and i KNOW i deserve to be treated with the utmost respect and y'all better, too! i know it's hard to trust in that sometimes, make that most of the time. don't get me wrong. there are some days where i'm just like 'UGH, why do i have to have like, 10928309128 zits?! why does my butt have to be the size of a football field?! AHH!' but ladies, if we start believing that we're not made in the image of God and start honestly hating who we are, who else are we hating? our Creator, in a sense! we're hating what He created.
about the bathing suits, here's an AWESOMELY modest site where i just bought one for the low, low price of $40 for the top and $28 for the bottoms! yippee skippee! *no sarcasm there* here it is: www.layersclothing.com
you're all beautiful! <3

Erin Davis

Emily
on Thursday, July 3, 2008 at 8:33 pm

" Secret Keeper" was written by Dannah Gresh, co-author of "Lies Young Women Believe," the book this site was designed to support. Cool huh?!

Thanks for your commitment to modesty. Keep it up!

Erin Davis
LYWB Blog Moderator

Tiffany_addicted_2_chocollateeee

another thought
on Friday, July 4, 2008 at 5:00 am

Just a comment :DDD Not ment to benefit anymore realli :)

I hate being immodest ( did I spell that ryt?LOL!)

b/c I don't like guys to look at me a lot. I feel violated lol :DD

soooo mostly almost, I despise clothing that shows too much of mah body cuz guys always stare so much.

Just a thought lol :)

OH sooo yeh! Thats another reason you shud be moddest.
Do you want to be in almost every guy's fantasy when you walk by? (obviously they'll be thinking about ur body if urr way skimpy)

THat just makes me want to puke and scream!

LOL!

:)

Justine

tankinis
on Sunday, July 6, 2008 at 4:32 pm

Hi,
Ok, I got this swimsuit new like last month. Well I'm not sure if its modest or not. Its a something like FirstKiss from Kohls, and if it is immodest without getting a new suit what could I do? Whats your ladies opinion on skinny jeans on girls? I'm talking about the punk ones to clarify. B/C my friend has a pair and if they aren't modest I think she should know.
JesusLuvsU
Justine

Ashley

trying
on Monday, July 7, 2008 at 1:45 pm

I would call myself a pretty modest girl. I try not to wear tight-fitting clothes and as for my shorts and skirts, if they are short, I usually wear leggings or tights underneath. But my chest is a little on the bigger side and sometimes its hard for me to find shirts that cover everything. I like to wear babydoll tops because I think they are flattering, but so many of them are really low cut and I always have to wear an undershirt, but sometimes even those come a little lower than I would like. I don't like it when I have to hold my shirt up when I lean over so everything doesn't show, but I also don't want to have to wear baggy t-shirts everyday. What to do???
And as far as finding a way to be modest without buying a new bathing suit, try finding a cute cover-up. One of those dresses that are cut higher up and are kind of long, they are really cute and can make you feel a lot more comfortable in a bathing suit.
As for skinny jeans, my only problem is that a lot of them are really low cut. But you could recommend the skinny jeans from Old Navy to your friend. I have a pair and they are really comfortable as well as higher cut. They are also pretty cheap! I think I got mine for like $20!!!! I even wear them to church sometimes. Also, it kind of depends on what kinds of shirts are being worn with them. If they are unwholesome shirts, them maybe they are influencing your friends style in a way they shouldn't be.
That's really all I had to say.
Btw Erin, this is the same Ashley that goes to Volume. : )

Erin Davis

Ashley
on Monday, July 7, 2008 at 1:53 pm

Hey Ashely,

Thanks for checking out the LYWB Blog! It is great to see a familiar name! I thought you had some great insights on modesty.

Erin Davis
LYWB Blog Moderator

Justine

Re:trying
on Monday, July 7, 2008 at 8:47 pm

OH! Thanks. Hmm...a dress cover up sounds good! And Ashley have you ever tried your hand at sewing?? If you have some time in the summer you might be able to make your own shirts? At the moment I'm working on a "dress", (that very well fits into the lie 'It's just fashion') b/c its really low cut but my mom told me just to make whats called a "dickie" that can snap/ velcro to the deep cut for when I wear. Also I can wear w/pants or leggings so s'all good!
JesusLuvsU
Justine

elisabeth

How?
on Monday, July 14, 2008 at 4:08 am

i totally agree on the modesty thing, and i want to start dressing modester(dont no if i spelled that right:)) But what should I wear that is modest? I want to be modest, and still socially exceptable. Any help here ladies? TNX

elisabeth God Bless!

Rebecca

elizabeth
on Saturday, July 19, 2008 at 7:38 pm

hey elizabeth, its pretty hard to find clothes today that are modest, some ppl think you should wear skirts. I don't. Pants are great if they are not tight, don't jump up and down to get then on. Shirts well I try to find clothes that are not low, because I tend to forget to pull up my shirt every time I bend down. Actually, I think somewhere (or if you have the book) it has a couple paragraphs on how to make sure your clothes are modest. Its great. There is so many cute tops and skirts out there that are immodest. It's HARD!

Kay"N"Rach

Modest is hottest - to Elizabeth
on Sunday, July 20, 2008 at 3:23 am

hey girl! Finding modest clothes these days can be hard, but knowing that our bodies our the temple of God, we need to protect them till marriage. making the extra effort to find modest clothes will benefit you in your life. with pants, make sure that every time you bend over, you aren't exposing your backside. Old navy has started carrying some pants that are a bit higher than low rise, but not up to your waist. As for shirts, try to make sure that your breasts aren't falling out of your shirts for all to see. When you lean over be aware of whether or not your shirt is falling open. Shorts and skirts can be hard to find these days, but it is possible to find ones that aren't hot shorts\skirts. Having a more modest appearance is one way to demonstrate your desire to be more Christ like.
-Kay
p.s. I am really pleased you are making the effort to dress more modestly! :)
Hey elizabeth, I was just at a camp and with a bunch of staff and we were discussing this very topic! We all agreed that it was very hard to find trendy, modest stuff. One of the leaders mentioned that she had been shopping and saw in the window of American Eagle this cute trendy outfit that had like a tank-top and a t-shirt underneath it. She reccomended that when we see cute, modest trendy clothes *especially in the window* you should shoot for those! And remember as well that not all the beauty is focused on the outside. The true, inner beauty is what God wants us to focus on. Anyways, modesty: all I have to say is look around for those trendy modest outfits and when you come across it, buy it! (providing it's not 1000000 dollars) lol Well, I hope we were helpful some to you. I'm proud of you for trying your best on modesty - you is amazing!
-Rach

Bethany

The Hottest guy ever!!!!!!
on Wednesday, July 23, 2008 at 8:33 pm

There's a boy in my class, Mike, who I really have a super huge crush on. How do I get a cool christian guy to like me?

Rachel

to Bethany
on Thursday, July 24, 2008 at 1:55 pm

hey girl! I think you should pray about this and see if he's really a guy for you - does he fit your qualities and beliefs of a man you would want a relationship with? And I wouldn't jump into things so quickly (speaking from experience) crushes can be blinding and you could get into pretty big mistakes that you regret! Why not try being good friends with him? That's a good way to get to know him better. Personally, I wouldn't advice throwing yourself out there to get him to like you... not all Christian guys fall for that. I would just become friends with him and over time maybe something will happen! If God wants you two together, then He will work it out when the time comes! Just pray and be patient with God's timing, you never know maybe He has a totally different man in mind for you! luv your sis in Christ :)

brie :)

dressing for the summer and still staying cool
on Saturday, August 2, 2008 at 2:51 pm

i was at youthgroup the other week and the pastor had this really good message.... it was about how to dess for the summer.....but still stay cool.... now that its summer and its hot outside... girls like to hang everything out in the open for the world to see.... i think its like.... uumm well kinda gross.... lol.. but i really took to heart what the youth pastor had said..... for instance... i dress very modest.... and at skool.... i get so many compliments on my clothes!! haha no lie.... it really is very easy.... and idk why girls say "its soo hard to find shirts that arent sexy" or "i cant find shirts that aren't going to show clevage" well... what i always do is wear a shirt underneath... layering is totally in and totally cute!!! lol i am totally into fashion :) and someday hope to be a fashion designer when i grow up.... and when i become one... i promis to make clothes that are modest that all girls can wear :) haha lol.... sssoo yah.... dressing modest does take time.... like in the book "Sexy Girls" by Hailey Dimarco..... "if it aint on the menu... keep it covered up!!!" and trust me girls.... if u think everyone is showing clevage.... well ur wrong.... not everyone is doing it.... it just seems like it because a lot of girls are.... and onther thing to my fashionistas out there..... the number one rule of fashion is DONT FOLLOW THE TRENDS..... SET THEM :) sssooo yah if all the girls at skool are showing clevage or wearing inapropriate things.... dont be a follower... be a leader :) weare cute and modest clothes :) and if u need some stores to look at that have the cutest and very well modest clothes.... try looking at
*Target
*Charolette Russe
*JcPenney
*mervyns
and just practially any store!!! lol
and remember.... our bodies are the temple of God... and we dont want our temple parts hanging out all over the place.... haha :) but trust me girl :) there are modest clothes out there!!! and if they are see-through or too low.... layer it!! put a cami underneath :) its totally cute and totally modest :) okay girl.... i hope this helps u and everyone :) lol okay byee

sophie :)

pure fashion show
on Tuesday, August 5, 2008 at 6:33 pm

hey:) kinsey mcdaniel said something about a Pure fashion show:) does anyone know anything about that?:) i'd like to go and if anyone has any info on that i'd like to know:) thanks:)

Allison

Sophie
on Wednesday, August 6, 2008 at 8:01 pm

A friend of mine went to a Pure Fashion show in April and loved it. They have modesty guidelines yet still cute clothes! Here's the link:
http://www.purefashion.com/
They do them in different places, so you'll have to check their site to see where they'll be when!

Sophie :)

Allison
on Friday, August 8, 2008 at 6:00 pm

Hey:) thanks for the link:) I'm going there right now:) I love all these things:) One of my favorites is the Modesty Survey on the rebelution website:) i already wrote the link on another post, but i'll write it again bc it's great! It's therebelution.com/modestysurvey
Well, thanks again! :)

Bridgette

Re: Elizabeth and Brie
on Saturday, August 9, 2008 at 4:00 pm

Hey Girls! Elizabeth(hope i spelled your name rite! If not, sorry! ) Anyway, try Burlington coat Factory. They ave modest shirts.(Most down to the knees!) I bought 2 there. One really cute jean one and a plaid one. Anyway, they are discounted too, if you to the clearance rack. The jean skirt i was just talking about was orr. 44 dollars and i got it for 12! Also, I got the plaid one for 10! Also, I like old navy. Some of their stuff isn't too modest, but if you use layering and safety pins(on a beater or cami you pin the shoulder staps up and put another shirt over it!) you can look awesome!

And to Brie- Def. follow through with that! Make some modest clothes! Good luck in that and may God be with you through it all!

Bridgette

oops!
on Saturday, August 9, 2008 at 8:31 pm

Elisabeth-(i spelled ur name rite!!!!!) Sorry, it was supposed to say skirts that went down to your knees! Sorry bout that mix up. I obviouly can't type!

Mel

whoa
on Thursday, August 14, 2008 at 3:10 pm

I love this blog thing :D
It always seems to brighten my day!
Sometimes, I just get those feelings that...well....im CRAZY.
I'm being homeschooled this year (my freshman year) and don't know many other girls. Especially Christian ones.
This blog helps me to understand God's plan and that I AM doing the right thing by dressing modestly or dating a Christian guy.
Thank you all,
SO SO much.
You're just...
BRILLIANT!
-Mel-
x]

Ruth

Wow!
on Friday, September 5, 2008 at 7:08 pm

I'm so surprised that I never knew that jeans were so attractive to guys.. I don't really care to wear jeans though, especially tight jeans/pants, YUCK! I like wearing dresses and skirts, thankfully. Anyway, I dress pretty modestly. Not like my Dad would let me out of the house if I wasn't dressed modestly anyway. :P Dressing modest isn't as bad as some people may think anyway. You can dress modestly and still dress nicely!

Hannah

insight
on Monday, October 6, 2008 at 3:37 pm

Firstly, i wanna say that i agree wth this article, and i think its great that this blog if filled with people who talk about specifics, cuz its always hard for me to discern. When I think about modesty where clothes are concerned(because modesty isn't all about clothing)I think of what clothes were originally intended for. To "cover" the body. Not as a tool of distraction from what God intends for men to be. We are going to be held accountable by God to keep our bodies pure and for the times we caused men to sin. Fashion is a reflection of you. If you are flirtatious and looking for the wrong type of person, it's probably going to come out in how you dress. If you believe that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, why would you take the gift that God labored to create(your body) and array it like trash? Even so, it is still a stuggle for me, becasue every girl wants to be captivating, I'm asking God to give me the patience to wait for his perfect timing and His perfect will.

Brittany A.

Its ok
on Friday, October 24, 2008 at 11:38 pm

This may not have exact influence to wat the article was pointing at, but i felt like i needed to say it. I will say that i am a fashion fanatic all the way! I watch Rachel Zoe and want to wear everything shown. Wat im trying to get at is that just because we needed to dress modest doesnt mean we have to refrain from the look of today. Because im pretty sure god wanted us to look the best that we can in the best way that we can......if that made any sense at all..im totally with the whole modest concept, but that doesnt mean we have to dress dowty(sp?)..if u like t-shirts and casual wear dont take me wrong, but for the ppl who love fashion as much as i do we need to show the world that we can dress in style without having to show the world wat we got..

elizabeth

jeans (& other stuff)
on Sunday, November 9, 2008 at 6:25 pm

my parents let me wear jeans but we have some rules. when i am shopping with my mom, i bend over & squat & it's up to her to decide if i'm showing too much in the um...rear. lol. & the jeans can't be tight or anything like that. personally, i'm fine with that. i want to dress modestly. girls, i understand it's hard! thankfully, my parents have put strict rules on this. even though i don't like them all the time (especially my mom's policy on dresses...grr) i still cooperate cuz they know whats best for me. i really encourage you all to dress modestly...you're not alone! even if it feels like you are, you're so not! & if you want to know if something is modest or not, talk to your dad or an older brother cuz they can really give you a guys perspective. GO MODESTY!!!
luv in christ,
elizabeth <3

Rebecca

How to tell if your clothing is modest
on Friday, November 28, 2008 at 3:08 pm

Hey Girls,
I made a mistake. Earlier I had posted here that somewhere in the book there is something that tells you if your clothes are modest, I ws wrong that's another book that Dana Gresh Wrote. Anyways, I can't find the book but here are a couple things I remember

Pants:
Are your pants too tight? Bend over (this will sound weird) and have your mom or a girlfriend look and see if they can actually see your underwear line. And come on girls you know when your pants are tight.

Shorts:
Sit on a chair, or on the ground with your legs crossed, are your shorts so short that your mom can see your underwear? Also make sure that your shorts aren't just so tight that you can't see inside them.

Short Shirts:
Do 10 jumping jacks and see if mom can see your stomach when you jump, if yes than the shirts gotta go.

Low Shirt:
Bend over and see if your mom can see anything at all, if yes then it's time to throw it away.

Tight shirts:
I don't like tight shirts but I also don't like them extremely baggy so that you look fat. Press down in the middle of the top of your shirt (you know where I am talking about) if your shirt bounces up then its too tight.

I hope this helps you guys!
Rebecca

bella marie

hmmmm....
on Tuesday, December 9, 2008 at 12:03 pm

i agree to a certain point on some of this stuff....yes i wear tight pants. yes i wear tight low cut tops. yes i wear bikinis. my parents and alot of my family is christian and i go to church every sunday sinice i was like 2 and i believe in god but still. i understand that guys will look and i have to admit i want the guys to look. i have had some very bad relationships that have made me want a boyfriend that really does like me for who i am but wearing those kinds of clothes just seems to get their attention. a few years ago at christmas i was wearing a tank top sort of thing (might i add it was pretty short, tight, and low cut) and these really tight pants i had gotten recently and these really big hoop earrings. i thought it was fine and the way i looked wasnt making people look and (i was only like 12 at the time i am 15 now) we got some pics developed and my mom showed me within the next week after christmas and she told me that my grandma was so sad and disappointed in me and my aunt told my mom the same thing. after that i was really ashamed and about a week or two after that i threw the pants in the trash and the shirt and the earrings. i still struggle with that kind of thing. just recently i had a pair of jeans that i had since like the beginning of 8th grade and they were tight and eventually they got so tight that it was hurting. not only did i have the impressions of seams on my legs but i was in pain wearing those jeans. my mom was so proud of me when i told her that i was throwing them away cuz they were too tight and she almost cried cuz she never thought that i would throw them away. this blog has really helped me with my clothing and i am so thankful for it. =))) thank you guys SOOOOOOO much =))))

Daddy's baby girl

Question?
on Friday, December 26, 2008 at 9:50 pm

i do agree with all of what you said but there is something that i have struggled with. i am still a teen but my chest is a lot larger then most my age and my waist is smaller then most.My outfits don't show anything but i still have guys looking there and i just don' know what to think or do. I don't like them looking there but but i never have the strenght or courage to tell them no!... i need help

Grace

so amazing!!!
on Tuesday, December 30, 2008 at 10:11 pm

I have had major issues with this topic FOREVER!! It seems like nobody ever addresses this problem! I see a HUGE majority of my friends and peers dressing more and more like the world! I thought we were supposed to be set apart? I am actually writing an essay about this topic for school! Thanks so much!

*~blonde.chick~*

shirts
on Thursday, February 5, 2009 at 10:53 am

well i agree that it is gross to wear skirts ad shorts so that everyone can see everything you got, and shirts that just let everything hang all out there in the open*ick*. I have a problem with that because i am kinda cig chested, and i dont mean so show cleavage, but sometimes it happens when i dont mean to...i wear cammies under my lower cut shirts...that helped for a while, but now all the cammies i buy are just as bad as the shirt!! it is so annoying. so i was like, what about cammies with adjustable straps? i got a few of those and they work great. the oter thing is..idk who will agree with this or not, but it is helpful to me. get a sports bra in a pretty color and wear that with a cammie that matches and them the shirt. it will show the bra, but no one will kno that it is one! that is y it is so great. =)

Kim

to Blonde Chick
on Monday, February 23, 2009 at 6:21 pm

I love cammies for being long,and so no tummy shows! : ) but for covering cleavage, most are kinda useless. And my mom is constantly telling me to pull my shirt up! Hate it!!! But i like that sports bra idea! I think i'll have to try that out!! ; )

Christina

to Kim and Blonde Ckick
on Sunday, March 22, 2009 at 2:53 pm

Or instead of a sports bra... (even though that is a pretty cool idea! :)) My mom just makes me safety pin the straps to me cammie's in the back so they stay up!! And... I know that we aren't really on this subject but... with your shorts... if you feel like you can't move around like normal in them... then return them!! :) The plaid bermuda shorts are coming back in style and they are so cute to me!! Thats the only type of shorts in my closet!! :)

silvermist

making others sin by what you wear
on Friday, April 10, 2009 at 2:59 pm

I think us girls nead to be realy carful with what we wear because the bible say in mathew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a women to lust after her hath commited adultery already in his heart(KJV)

so that means if a guy even thinks in lust he's commited adultery so I think we nead to cover our bodys up so that we don't cause boys to sin!

Bethany

To: Daddy's Baby Girl
on Wednesday, April 22, 2009 at 3:19 pm

There's not much you can do about it! God has blessed you with those things, and he did it for a reason, because I can promise that he doesn't make mistakes. :P But what you could do is just go through your clothes to make sure nothing you wear, does draw extra attention to those areas. Guys are guys, and I guess their gonna look whether we were revealing clothes or not. But if we were tight clothes and revealing shirts and things like that, we just make it easier for them.

cutiepie14

shirts
on Thursday, April 23, 2009 at 9:51 pm

okay her it goes a little embarrising if i spelled that right i am large up top and am a medium but becaus im large up top im a large caus everythings tigh anyone help i have tryied sporst bras to make them....... smaller blushing like craxzy any suggestions :)

Anonymous

cutiepie14
on Thursday, April 30, 2009 at 4:20 pm

well i wish i had your problem i am so small and it sucks!!! dont feal bad God has blessed you with that!

Alexxus

swimsuits & modesty
on Monday, June 15, 2009 at 7:54 pm

this is a great article! i have struggled with this for sooo long! this problem fuels most of the arguements i have with my parents. i still have trouble with it. god has blessed (i say cursed) me with a curvy body. i so wish i could wear the tops my friends wear but i realize that due to my body shape and modesty, i cant. i realize that i just want attention from guys. i havent met one christian guy who has been a nice, non-perv guy. i think thats why i put my trust in the way i dress, to get approval from other guys (which is sooo wrong :S ) i pray everyday for the strength to be modest and its really hard in todays world.

on the subject of swimsuits, i went shopping today for a swimsuit and it was easier than expected. i bought a tankini that isnt low cut in the front, along with a pair of swim shorts. i may not look like the hottest thing when i go swimming but at least im modest. lol i just want girls to know that just bc we arent prancing around in a little bikini doesnt mean we arent beautiful :) God makes all things beautiful and we shouldnt be upset bc we arent "showing all". its better to be pleasing in Gods sight than to be pleasing in a guy's mind

Ayana

What if your fam...
on Tuesday, July 28, 2009 at 12:50 am

What if your mom and sis n her friends are being all.. you need to become more "fashionable." Ive struggled for the longest wondering if it really was time to hang up my fav black hoodie and well worn jeans but I guess not!!! Thanks a million! :)

Allison

fashion
on Thursday, September 24, 2009 at 5:46 am

I agree to a certain extent. Girls, if you've got a big chest, then cover them a little. Wear short shorts, just maybe not "daisy dukes". The feminine form is beautiful, celebrate your curves and feminity. This is another case as to what I precieve to be a male dominated society.

When we show off our bodies, men react with sexual desire. So it must be OUR fault. WE are the ones who are sexually impure, not the men who are actually having the dirty thoughts.

What I'm saying is, show a little leg, show a little cleavage, just don't over do it so that you end up looking like a tramp. Take pride in the beautiful womanly body that God Himeslf gave you.

Last Edit: on Thursday, September 24, 2009 at 10:09am by edavis

Emily

Covering
on Sunday, December 27, 2009 at 2:53 am

Please don't be offended, I'm not very well-informed on these subjects, but some of the arguments I've heard for "modesty" are the same ones used to advocate veils, burkas and the like in fundamentalist religions. "Protect the men! Protect yourself! Your body has power!" Where is the line? Obviously everything changes when moral guidelines like modesty become actual laws, so I'm certainly not accusing girls who wear "Modest is Hottest" T-shirts of advocating beating girls into wearing burkas!

But what about cultures where women don't wear tops? Aren't men the same? Can't men learn to control their eyes? Isn't that their responsibility? I suppose it has to do with legality: you can punish a woman for having a short skirt, but you can't prove that a man was thinking naughty thoughts!

I don't think that current Western culture, to be grossly general, or Christian culture, is in a huge crisis to the left or right as far as modesty is concerned. At the moment, fashion is so open to new ideas, a girl can dress any way she wants.

Just don't make me kneel on the ground to prove that my skirt is a modest length, and we'll go from there!

Emily

Do clothes make the man?
on Sunday, December 27, 2009 at 2:57 am

Which is worse: to have an authority that enforces modesty, or a culture that advocates cheap clothes? I guess the question is whether women should be covered or not covered...and that makes them sound like furniture! Men and boys can be classified as furniture, too. I guess what I'm trying to say is, be grateful for the culture and freedom you have...you're blogging about it, aren't you?

Abby

Girls at school
on Sunday, December 27, 2009 at 9:49 pm

im in 8th grade, and am often surprised at the stuff people in my grade wear... one time, last year, we went on a career day, and got to ride a new water slide at magic waters... obviously, we had to wear swimsuits... i think i was about the only girl who wore a one-piece to the place... and u shldve seen the guys! they were like looking around at ALL the girls... u know wat i mean... ugh, if u ask me, much of our generation is messed up!

Jesusfreak :)

This modesty thing is so true!!!
on Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 7:59 pm

Wouldn't it be a horrible thing for you to cause a Christian brother to stumble in his walk because you dressed immodestly!!! I can understand how it's not our faults for some but we can help the guys in our lives by dressing modestly

smilin' through the tears

Re: to Allison
on Thursday, January 14, 2010 at 10:50 pm

Hmm. im not sure if i entairly agree with you! Sure God made our bodies and no we are not completely to blame for mens thoughts toward us, but I would rather go a step beyond "not looking like a trmp" to looking like a tresure! One that has saved herself entairly for the one man God has already choosen for me! I wouldn't want some other girl to be "showing a little leg" and "showing a little cleavage" to my future husband...can you honestly say you wouldn't mind?? Yes, guys will think what they want...but I will give them no reason to think anything sinful of me!

Smilin' through the tears

To Erin
on Thursday, January 14, 2010 at 10:53 pm

Just curious if the impression I got from your post was correct.....do you always wear skirts?? If so what is your Biblical reason?

Erin Davis

Smilin' through tears
on Friday, January 15, 2010 at 10:08 am

No, I wear pants.

Erin

Jojo

What is modest?
on Sunday, January 24, 2010 at 10:25 am

To find out what is modest I like to check out http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/
to see Christian guys' perspective on different kinds of clothes

Abby

keep up the modesty
on Tuesday, March 30, 2010 at 3:41 pm

Hey I just found this site and I already love it! I wear dresses and skirts and sometimes I do feel out of place or like no one pays any attention to me. But I know I am pleasing God by dressing modestly and really wouldnt we rather have attention from godly guys who would respect us and support us in what we are doing? I've been married 6 months and i can say it hleps me so much to have a godly man in my lifet who supports me and encourages me. So i encourage you to keep dressing modestly(and that doesn't mean it Has to be dresses or skirts!) and seeking God and someday you will find a godly man that loves you for you and respects you. And he'll give you all the attention you want:) So God bless you and Keep praising Him!

ya......no
on Tuesday, July 6, 2010 at 10:57 pm

i got 2 say that some of what u grls r sayin is totally ridiculous! do u really think ur more godly just bcause u wear skirts and dresses? let me tell u that my life is amazin, and guess what.......i wear skinny jeans, short shorts, tanktops, and watever else i want 2 wear. btw, i hav had a bf now 4 fiv months and he luvs everythin abot me........so there.

Mackenzie

Re:smilin' through the tears
on Tuesday, July 6, 2010 at 11:14 pm

What do you mean "showing a little leg"? I get the cleavage thing. I wouldn't want to know that my future husband was checking out another girl who was wearing a low cut shirt. But I don't agree at all with the "no showing legs" rule. I don't think guys lust after our legs. That's crazy. That's like saying he can't help daydreaming about our sexy arms. You don't want to wear really short shorts, but I don't think wearing shorts that go down to your kness or a few inches above is a sin. It's summer. It's hot. I want to wear shorts and they are still perfectly appropiate. My parents approve of the shorts I wear and I am fine wearing them where ever. I wear shorts to church. It's not a big deal. I get the cleavage thing, but not the shorts thing. Some girls think it's wrong to fix your hair all nice and pretty to attract the guy you like. That's not wrong. It's natural. I mean.....what's the worst thing that could happen by wearing your hair down and curly. The guy might be like,"Your hair looks really pretty tonight. I like how you curled it." Is that so wrong? If you wear a shirt that shows your boobs,that's one thing, but your not making your brother in Christ fall by wearing your hair down all nice and showing off your awesome legs. <3 I'm tired of girls thinking that thay're more of a Christian then me because I show 2 feet of legs. sad face.

halli

swimsuits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
on Thursday, July 8, 2010 at 7:07 pm

so i am really not impressed with the amount of skin my fellow ladies show when swimming or tanning at the beach!:( ok tanning is understandable.(who wants tan lines?!?!?!?) :D but seriously i feel so uncomfortable when im tanning at the beach and i see a guy staring at me!!! it is so not cool kuz when they look at me i wonder whats going on in there minds i hate to think my clothing could be making them sin D: so just a reminder if you've got it DON'T flaunt it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Micah

Modest Swimsuits
on Sunday, July 25, 2010 at 7:52 pm

I found two cute and modest suits at Sears this year. They were on sale and I think I got both for under $20. I wore them to summer camp with my HS youth group and actually felt good about my choice. I wasn't constantly fussing with it to make sure the straps, top, or bottom part was covering enough. Just thought I'd share.

Andie

Making a point...
on Sunday, July 25, 2010 at 10:01 pm

Okay, so i have been hearing so much about how people dont get why you cant show more leg and whatnot. Its not the leg thats the problem... its the intention. Are you striving to get a guy to notice you and so the next time you see him you wear shorts so short that they can see your undies? There is a line that can be crossed with that kind of stuff... And with other things like makeup and hair, its not a big deal if you do it up all special for an event, but if you load up on the makeup just to get a guys attention, that is when it becomes a problem. If a guy were to love you, he would love you for who you are, not for what you smear on your face, what you wear, or how you do your hair. we just need to contain ourselves to the point where we aren't being flirty....

halli

andie
on Tuesday, August 3, 2010 at 7:20 pm

Preach it sister! :) i mean yeah i've done it too and putting gobs of gunk on your face for a guys attention is sooo not a good idea i mean what if he asked you out you would prolly break up soon bc he only liked u 4 your looks. <3 in Christ, red

Brandy <3

Layering
on Wednesday, October 27, 2010 at 5:32 pm

One word ladies:
Layering

It's a modest girl's best friend. Like that trendy top, but afraid it's too low cut? Put a tank top or a cami underneath (just make sure that the cami isn't too low cut!).You'll be honoring God, your body, your future husband, the men around you, and looking cute too! :~D

halli

CJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
on Saturday, November 27, 2010 at 12:50 pm

I don't think they were implying that they were better than other people besides there are alot of immodest dresses and skirts out there. any ways i just want to warn you that you should be oober careful of what you wear in front of your bf you might find yourself in an uncomfortable situation.

KeepingKaya

Distinction
on Saturday, December 25, 2010 at 4:46 pm

I agree that modesty is the best policy. I do think that at the same time, we shouldn't eliminate the fact that our body is a treasure from God, and in fact beautiful. Sometimes in today's culture, it's a concept that is so black and white: either the body is great and should be flaunted, or it's powerful and so alluring that it's evil and should be hidden away. In fact, it's neither: it's special!
Just saying, the focus needs to go both ways, or the meaning of our physical bodies gets degraded.

Rebekah

Clothing and Modesty
on Wednesday, November 28, 2012 at 9:37 am

Wow. Now I see what my mum has been telling me. Ouch. Thanks y'all have helped! BTW a great blog to check out is freshmodesty.blogspot.com

kelsey

Tank Tops
on Sunday, February 24, 2013 at 3:37 pm

I am wonderipng what category tank tops or tube tops that I wear under clothing go. By themselves they are immodest, but under clothes they are ok, so what pile would that be?

Sarah, with the LYWB team

@Kelsey...
on Monday, February 25, 2013 at 5:50 pm

Put the tank top or tube top WITH a shirt that makes it modest and put it in your pile to keep...but only with the shirt you can wear over it, so that the mind doesn't have to "complete the picture". If you are unsure, put them in your fuzzy pile and ask your mom, friend, dad, or youth pastor's wife. They will be able to help you know for sure!

Kelsey

Re:
on Wednesday, February 27, 2013 at 8:29 am

That's the kind of thing I was thinking...I followed a friend's example and my tank tops are now in my underwear drawer so there is no confusion as to whether they are meant to be by themselves or under clothes. Thank you for answering!!

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