Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

Aimee
Love
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 1:31 am
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Hi I've got a question. Im in a bit of a mess right now but it's not just a small mess that's going to go away soon. I'm 15 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend(the father of the baby) is like a child himself, he has a lot of issues emotionally and mentally. I'm starting to think that he can't take care of me and my baby when he or she is born, and I won't have the time to take care of him as well. but I really don't want to be a single mum. I don't know what to do. Can someone help me?
someone
Re:
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 2:17 am
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I can't constantly put my family or friends in that list and have it ring as true...
But , I think they still love me..
I haven't ever seen that perfect of a love story....
I hope you do a continuing blog and speak a little more on how to know if your loved by people (I know God does love us always though!)
grace
question
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 6:09 am
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I enjoyed today's topic so much, now i need someone to advice me on what to do because over an year, i have had a crush on a guy that goes to my church and i have tried really hard to get him out of my mind but i cant. I have never told this to anybody else and its really getting out of control because i spend alot of time just thinking of him. i will appreciate for some advice on what to do.
RachelAllison
That's a great way!... but...
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 8:27 am
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That is a great way to determine if someone loves you or not. It is always important to look back to the Bible's definition of love in order to figure this out. However, when it comes to "infatuation" we are often too blind to realize false love, even when we take the time to compare it to the gospel. I know in the past that I would have taken a different, rather selfish, action of one and twisted it in my mind until they were "most definitely unselfish." Sometimes, as passionate young girls, we won't allow ourselves to really see someone for who they are and sometimes, we're so anxious to be loved that we'll do anything to convince ourselves that a certain person really does truly love us. Do you have any suggestions for helping this, Erin (or anybody else)? When I am struggling with this, I often do a lot of praying. I ask God to help me keep my eyes open so that I can see things for what they really are. Perhaps there are some bible verses that would help too?
Thanks for the post, Erin!
Rachel R
Re:
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 8:53 am
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I love this post (no pun intended:))! Thanks, Erin!!
Anna
good idea!
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 9:19 am
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i'd never thought about entering a guy's name into that verse, though i really love the idea! then you'll truly know whether he's the man God might have prepared for you. thanks, erin! this was really encouraging! :)
RachelAllison
@Someone
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 11:22 am
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Hey girl, I just wanted to let you know something that has helped me as I think about who loves me and who doesn't (specifically in the area of my parents). You can't expect them to love you perfectly, because none of us are perfect. The question to ask yourself is, "are they trying?" Are they really making an effort to love you unselfishly? Are they doing their best to love you perfectly, even though they're imperfect? Because we're all fallen human beings here and we can't expect to be loved with a perfect love - we can't even love with a perfect love. So ask yourself instead, "Are they trying to love me perfectly? Is it important to them?" :)
Sweet Honesty 1983
Re:
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 11:22 am
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I believe, the first test is the best, your parents, your dad or a spiritual leader who knows, and tell if it is indeed a healthy loving relationship. Girls just tend to be blind when it comes to Cor 13...because he seems oh so perfect in the beginning....so talk to someone and pray about it.
KingsDaughter
Great post
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 11:39 am
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This is a great post i Love it. I have experience true Love really mostly with my second Mom, she really give out allot for me, listens to me, and understand me then she takes the time to show me what God says about the way i feel.

In boyfriend wise it was all lust, But i think for one of them i Love him, I don't know but when i ever i see him speak to him it makes me happy and sometimes i think about him a lot. Doe we broke up i care about him as long as he is ok i feel ok but if tells me something is wrong i feel bad. But i know he is not the right one for me, because, we broke up when i got saved.

But that still don't take away the feelings i have for him, it still don't change that i Love him.
Can anyone give me advice on what to do that will help me move on.
Emma/Pet Lover
I was wondering about....
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 12:48 pm
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Hi Emma here!
I would love to know how to show others that we love them! Do we just reverse the 1 Corinthians 13 test and put our names in the blank??
I would just really like to know how we can show our love for others.
-- Emma
Rachel
What if..?
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 1:25 pm
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What if there's a guy who is interested in you, and you like him as well..and you've put his name in that verse and it pretty well fits, cause he's a pretty great guy..but then you put your own name in that verse and its pretty much the opposite of all that? So..should you wait until you've cleaned up your act and you match up to that verse? Or is it ok to think about going out even when you're not feeling as good as that verse??
Monet
Wow!
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 1:46 pm
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My best-guy-friend, Ben, and I really have developed some feelings for each other, and this made it clear to me how much he actually loves me! thank you!

:)
DarienDon
I met a guy.
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 2:25 pm
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I met a man who is, in my opinion, scary good. He is a believer, a gentleman, and genuinely kind man. We've been talking and have become friends. I want so bad for God to take the reigns on this and so does the man, but we get caught up in each others company. I pray many times a day for our Father to lead me in this relationship I am developing with the man. Reading this post, and especially the part about talk with parents, I feel like I've done the right thing and talking to my mother about it along with my daily conversations with God. But, is it wrong to fear to love? I know that yesterday's post talked about how love doesn't fear, but I cannot help but fear the man I met. Pray for me just a little please and the man.
Anonymous
:)
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 3:23 pm
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I have the same problem as grace! HELP!!
I have tried praying for this guy everytime I think of him, but it is not helping.
Kim
For Aimee...
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 3:32 pm
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Hi Aimee!

I would encourage you, and your boyfriend if he's willing, to seek godly counsel on parenting... perhaps through a church or Pregnancy Care center. There's a lot of help available for young mothers-to-be!

And I just wanted to tell you how wonderful it is that you are choosing Life for your baby... that's not always the easiest decision, but it's the right one!
Mary
Re: Aimee
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 4:33 pm
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Wow, I will definitely be praying for you. That has to be a tough situation. I would put the fathers name in the verse mentioned in the paragraph. Does it match up? If not, could you ask your parents to help you raise your child (if you are still living with them)? I know it would be hard to be a single mom but you have to think of what is best for you and the baby. Hope this helped a little, and I will definitely be praying that God leads you to make the right decision.
Bookworm
I need some advice
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 5:19 pm
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I really like this guy who goes to my school, and me and him are really great friends. We talk a lot, and I sit beside him in two classes. The prob is that he already has a girlfriend. I'm trying hard to just be friends with him, but it's hard because I'm starting to have feelings for him. Do u guys have any advice?
andrea
good ideaaa!!
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 5:47 pm
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that's a really good idea! and my name is andrea too so it's perfecctt:) haha thanks erin!!
sarah s.
To Grace
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 6:22 pm
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Hey, I had the same problem at the beginning of the school year. One thing that helped me was whenever I thought of him I prayed for him, I would pray that be would grow in his walk with God. A verse that helped was that verse about taking captive every thought to make it obeisant to Christ, sorry I can't remember the reference. And just whenever u start thinking about something like wow he's soo cute, stop and think is this really what I want to be thinking about. Or if u start daydreaming about him ( like I sometimes make up what I want to happen that day, or in the future) then stop and ask if that is pleasing to God. I hope this helps u, praying for him really helped me.
I'll be praying! God bless ya sister!
Sarah <3
The Arteest
Re:
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 7:20 pm
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I have a question that is semi connected to this......I guess. Ummm is there an age limit on when you can begin a truly loving, guy-girl relationship? I'm fourteen and I have been asked out before, but I don't know if I am too young to have anything but a lustfull relationship. I've had a boyfriend before, but he went to a differnet school and I only saw him like three times. I did this on purpose so that I could still feel like I was having an intimate relationship without struggling with physical desires. So my main question is, am I too young to be having a relationship?
Gods Jewel
Re : Amiee
on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 8:49 pm
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I will be praying for you in this tough time. May god help lead you in the right decision.
@grace
i'm right there with ya!
on Wednesday, December 7, 2011 at 8:52 am
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i've been having the same problem as grace, too. but during life action summit, God told me to give this guy up 'cause he was becoming my focus. i've given him up for the most part (a lot less daydreaming, more praying and Bible-reading), but i still get heart-flutters every time he comes around. any suggestions, erin?
Ashley
Re: Aimee
on Wednesday, December 7, 2011 at 10:01 am
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I will definitely pray for you, everyday. Ask God what to do he will definitely help. Also do what Mary said and put the father's name in the paragraph above. If you can't raise them alone, ask your parents or friend to help.Never lose Faith that God is there for you, even when you don't know he is there.
Lorree, with the LYWB team
re: Grace
on Wednesday, December 7, 2011 at 10:28 am
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It is important that we keep taking our thoughts captive. It is a battle that God will help you win. When you find yourself dwelling on this young man, rein your thoughts in by praying for him; reading the Word; quoting scripture to yourself. Don’t let your mind dwell on him. We can unknowingly make an idol out of a person and they begin to take over our thoughts and be in the center of our hearts and minds – a place we need to reserve only for God. By reading, meditating, memorizing His Word, we equip our minds for the battle against idolatry.

Telling someone about your struggle might help you with accountability, Grace. They can pray for you, encourage you and ask you the hard questions about your thought life. Who can you confide in?

May your heart be so focused on God that a young man will have to be pursuing God to find you!
Lorree, with the LYWB team
re: Anonymous
on Wednesday, December 7, 2011 at 10:34 am
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Keep praying and taking those thoughts captive, friend! You are doing the right thing! Don’t give up in the middle of this battle. God will see you through.

Another thought is to begin to think of this guy as a brother – treat him as you would your brother. As you pray for him, pray for his spiritual walk and character development. Pray for his purity and his heart to be sold out to God and God alone. Ask the Lord to change your thoughts, too. It is just a way of changing your thought patterns.

Instead of focusing on this guy, focus on your relationship with God – being all God wants you to be; growing in your knowledge of Him; serving Him in your family and with your friends.

Praying for you, friend! Asking God to show you where and how to capture your thoughts and keep them only for Him.
Lorree, with the LYWB team
re: DarienDon
on Wednesday, December 7, 2011 at 10:54 am
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It has been my honor to pray for you and this man today, DarienDon. Loving someone involves taking a risk – and trusting the Lord to do what is best in both of your interests. As you keep your relationship focused on the Lord – encouraging each other with the Word, praying together, you will find that God will alleviate the fears you may be feeling. Find ways to serve each other and to encourage each other to grow in your relationship with God.

I encourage you to keep communicating with your mom about your relationship as it grows. Let her hold you accountable in this relationship so that you are able to maintain not only your physical purity, but also your emotional purity through it all. Praying for you, friend!
Ania
Re:
on Wednesday, December 7, 2011 at 11:27 am
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Has anyone on here read the book "Waterfall" ?
Lorree, with the LYWB team
re: KingsDaughter
on Wednesday, December 7, 2011 at 11:55 am
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Since you know this guy is not the right one, I encourage you to pray for him. Love him by taking him to the Father and asking God to work in this young man’s heart and grow him into a godly leader for the family he will one day have. Ask God to give him a desire to remain pure for his bride. Pray for him as you would your brother. These are ways you can rein in your thoughts and emotions. This is a great time to choose to focus your emotions on your relationship with God and becoming the woman God wants you to be – through prayer, reading the Word, relationships with friends, serving at church, learning to care for your home. Keep talking to your second Mom about your struggles so she can support, encourage and mentor you in this area. She loves you and God has placed her in your life to help you grow into the woman He wants you to be. Praying for you, friend!
Lorree, with the LYWB team
re: Rachel
on Wednesday, December 7, 2011 at 12:20 pm
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Often we are harder on ourselves than on others. I would encourage you to discuss this with your parents and to see what their thoughts are. How do they see you in relation to the definition of love in 1 Cor. 13. Ask them if they think you are ready to begin going out. Often they will have an objective view of the situation and the guy you are thinking of. We are all in process, Rachel. I love the verse in Philippians 1:6 where it says,

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

God can be trusted to continue to empower us as we seek to become more Christ-like in this life. We must choose to work toward that end. Focusing your heart on your relationship with God is always a good plan. As you spend more time with Him, He will change your heart and make you more like Him. Praying for you, friend!
Lorree, with the LYWB team
re: Emma
on Wednesday, December 7, 2011 at 1:31 pm
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When we are patient and kind to others; when we are not arrogant, rude, envious or boastful; when we rejoice with others in the truth we are demonstrating love to those around us. Christ gives us the best example in how to love as He laid down his life for us (Phil. 2:3-8). When we serve others and put their needs above our own, this is a demonstration of the love that we have in our heart for God.
Christine
Advice?
on Wednesday, December 7, 2011 at 1:49 pm
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I have been engaged to a wonderful, godly man for a couple months now. We plan to get married in Summer, and, as you can imagine, I am extremely excited! However, I am also feeling a bit overwhelmed. I never knew all of this would be so stressful.. I often find myself thinking about our wedding, future, etc. rather than the reason God has me where I am at the moment for whatever reason it may be. I spend time in prayer every day and in the Word. However, sometimes I feel that I may be drifting away from Him, by focusing more on these temporary things.. I have to constantly remind myself that marraige is all for His glory! Do you have any advice for me that could be helpful? Thanks so very much!
Darby Thompson
volleyball
on Wednesday, December 7, 2011 at 4:01 pm
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hi.. so i play club volleyball.as you probably know, that requires wearing spandex. it could be a stumbling block to guys but does that mean i should have to quit? this is the one sport i absolutely adore...
Bondrae Edwards
Re: Aimee
on Wednesday, December 7, 2011 at 4:54 pm
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Search The Holy Scripture aimee: hear, obey and understand: When someone is sexually intimate with a member of the opposite sex, they are engaging in a marriage act/pact (if it's consensual [St.Matt.18:19] ) Secondly: The unbreakable marriage contract decreed & established, i.e. joined in Heaven by GOD {St.Matt.19:6} is represented in & by a "natural" child being born (or given) to a heterosexual couple {St.Matt.18:5 [] St.John 6:33} because "naturally" born children are given by GOD (whether adopted or born into a heterosexual couple's life). A "naturally" conceived child cannot be born (i.e. carried from the womb) unless someone loves that child enough to (endure ??? [Genesis 3:16] to) allow the child to be born. Thirdly: Humans do not create love, (nor make love) we receive love from GOD and from there choose how we are going to act on it (i.e. manifest it [Genesis 4:25] ) GOD is the proprietor of love and love is of GOD and this love is life "naturally" ...a child cannot be born "naturally" without The Love of GOD and there is no love, without sacrifice. < Genesis 4:1 << 1st John 4:7&10 <<< St.Matt.19:14 reads: and JESUS said, "Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto ME: for of such is The Kingdom of Heaven." < St.John 18:37 ...To this end was I born, and for this cause came I into the world, that I should bear witness unto The Truth... [] Psalms 127:3 reads: Lo children are an heritage of The LORD: and the fruit of the womb is GOD'S reward < Howbeit, 2 Samuel 3:39 reads: ...The LORD shall reward the doer(s) of evil according to their wickedness < 2Pet.2:14 << Hebrews 13:4 [] Isaiah 46:3 reads: Hearken unto ME, O house of Jacob, and all the remnant of the house of Israel, which are borne by ME from the belly, which are carried from the womb. [] Jeremiah 1:5 ...Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee... (X-Y & X-X chromosomes "...and they twain shall be one flesh" i.e. a child [St.Matt.19:6] )

St. Luke 16:18 reads: and JESUS said, "Whosoever putteth away their spouse, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth the spouse that is put away from their spouse committeth adultery." < Exodus 20:14 << 1st Corinthians 7:10&11 reads: And unto the married I command, yet not I, but The LORD, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. [][][] At the very least, if someone's child's/children's biological parent has separated from them (i.e. put them away) or vice-versa: We as christians should (only) highly recommend that, the person(s) remain celibate or be reconciled with their child's/children's biological parent, PERIOD! 1st Peter 4:1 [][][] However, The Holy Scripture also teaches us: that if someone is separated from their spouse/mate or vice-versa (whether or not GOD has joined the two together "naturally" via a child) ...and them or their former spouse/mate receives a "child" to establish an "adulterous/second marital union" : and "that union" ends in separation via divorce, death, etc., etc. (which it will: Exodus 23:7 [] Romans 6:1&23 [] 2 Samuel 3:39 &12:14 [] Rev.2:20-23 [] St.John 5:22 & 4:18 & 8:11 [] Hebrew 10:26 & 13:4) ...than neither them an the first spouse/mate or [first] child's/children's bio-logical parent are to re-engage/remarry each other in a marital union again "for that is abomination" [Deuteronomy 24:1-4] [][][] The best course of action/path for someone who is truly unable to be reconciled with their spouse/mate or child's/children's biological parent(s) is to remain celibate and if there's a child/children involved: they should remain celibate: at least until the child/children of their former spouse(s) are adult (i.e. 25+ yrs. old Genesis 21:18) before they seek/try to engage in another sexually intimate relationship/marriage ...for they that suffer in the flesh have ceased from sin; that they no longer should live the rest of their time in the flesh for the lusts of the flesh, but for the will of GOD [1 Peter 4:1-5]

How bizarre it is to hear&see my christian brethren do anything but stand on The Holy Scripture. Does The Word of GOD say in vain, "...of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die." Is it not because there is not a GOD in Israel, that ye go to enquire of someone else, Aimee? [K]now therefore thus saith The Word of GOD: JESUS CHRIST. St.Matthew 18:5-9.
Theresa V.
Re: The Arteest
on Wednesday, December 7, 2011 at 11:46 pm
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I'm 14 too :) Well, yeah... sometimes I kinda wonder at that question too... And the answer to ur question... is deciding if u really want to stay sexually pure until at the right time when God brings a godly man later into ur life. I know that it's hard and we sometimes struggle if we want to have a guy-girl relationship. I'd suggest that it's better not to have one cuz it might cause some brokeness and hurt... You can ask God to help u with ur struggles. God really encourages us to have an intimate relationship with Him. And I will pray for you :)
Lorree, with the LYWB team
re: I'm right there with ya!
on Thursday, December 8, 2011 at 11:42 am
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Keep doing what you are doing, friend! It takes a while for our emotions to catch up with our will. When your heart flutters, counsel your heart that the one you really love and who can meet your deepest heart needs is Jesus Christ. Then pray for the guy’s relationship with God and choose to look at him as a brother. As you choose to focus your thoughts on the true love of your life, Jesus Christ, you can be confident that He will see you through this and provide a way that you can stand up under this temptation (1 Cor. 10:13). Praying you will continue to grow in your relationship with God!
Anna
@Darby Thompson
on Thursday, December 8, 2011 at 12:50 pm
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i play volleyball too and i suggest wearing the longer spandex that come down to your knee. they're much more modest and you're still following the spandex rule! and if at all possible, i'd ask my coach if i could wear regular shorts that are mid-thigh. explain that you don't want to be stumbling block to guys... they can't say "no" to that!
Lorree, with the LYWB team
re: Bookworm
on Thursday, December 8, 2011 at 2:12 pm
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It is important that you rein your thoughts in and take them captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor. 10:5). Whenever you begin to have feelings, remember that he is spoken for and pray for him and his girlfriend. Ask the Lord to give them a desire for purity and that they would learn to be selfless servants for each other. Think of him as your brother rather than a boyfriend. Pray and thank the Lord that He is enough and loves you more completely than any human can. Thank Him for choosing you and meeting your deepest heart needs. You might find some scripture you can memorize that you can begin quoting when you find your thoughts dwelling on him. Psalm 103 is an excellent passage. I’m praying for you and am asking the Lord to give you the desire to seek Him above all else and to give you victory in this area.
Lorree, with the LYWB team
re: The Arteest
on Thursday, December 8, 2011 at 2:26 pm
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This is an excellent question to run by your parents, friend! God has placed you under their authority. They know you the best and will be able to discern when the right time for a relationship will be for you. When you think about what God says regarding the importance of guarding your heart (Prov. 4:23) and the importance of not awakening love until it’s proper time (Song of Solomon 8:4), it is a good idea not to be in a relationship until you are ready for marriage. This will enable you to be proactive in keeping your heart, your emotions and your body pure for God.

In the meantime, focus your energies on becoming all God wants you to be. Spend time in the Word, in prayer and in the fellowship of other believers. Learn all you can about caring for the home – cooking, hospitality, caring for children – so that when the time comes that you are ready for a relationship and marriage, you will be as prepared as you possibly can. What a blessing that will be for the young man God brings into your life! Praying for you, friend!
Anna
thanks, lori!
on Thursday, December 8, 2011 at 3:18 pm
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thanks for the advice! i'll definitely take it to heart. (i accidentally put @grace in the name spot, haha!)
Lorree, with the LYWB team
re: Darby
on Thursday, December 8, 2011 at 3:42 pm
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Modesty is a matter of the heart, Darby. And it sounds like your heart is in the right place. I appreciate your desire to want to not do anything to cause a guy to stumble. I encourage you to pray about this and discuss it with your parents, Darby. Your dad would have good insight into this. When you are off the court, you could elect to put on a T-shirt and/or sweats over the uniform as an extra means of protecting the guys around you. Thank you, Darby, for your sweet spirit and for choosing to be modest even while in sports!
Sammy
Advice?..
on Thursday, December 8, 2011 at 4:59 pm
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I'm having the same problem as Grace.. I really like a boy that goes to my church and I always think about him, I try not to but, I always do.. I would be very grateful for some advice on what to do..
Theresa V.
Re: To Sammy
on Thursday, December 8, 2011 at 9:16 pm
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Hi Sammy,

I'd suggest that you should pray to God to help you... I know that trying not to like a guy is very hard... even for me too. Ask God for a pure heart and tell Him what you are struggling with. Pray about ur feelings. The right godly guy has not come yet. Just pray for the guy u like by blessing him and his future wife... I hope this helps :)
Rebecca
love/hate
on Saturday, December 10, 2011 at 5:19 pm
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Okay so this isn't really like a guy thing but, like a few weeks ago my mom and I were talking and she said "I love you" no big deal, right? But the way she said it made me start crying, and I was all "why?" and she started talking and I was like "But why do you love me, I don't even love me, not only do I not love me, I hate me" She was shocked but now I have 3 versions of 1Cor13:4-8 posted throughout the house. I still don't think I love myself but I just don't know how without being conceited? I don't think I hate myself but I just don't know. Does that make sense?
KingsDaughter
will do
on Saturday, December 10, 2011 at 6:11 pm
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Thanks lorree i will take your advice and put it in practice.
thank you very much
rachel
RE: Aimee
on Monday, December 12, 2011 at 2:14 pm
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no offence to Bondrae Edwards, and I thank her for those scriptures, but I disagree with her interpretation of the text. Aimee, honey, yes, you've made a mess *hugs*, but you can fix it. It bothers me that nobody has talked about adoption with you. I know so many families who want to adopt, and do adopt, but most adopted children are damaged from years in foreign orphanages, or in vitro drug abuse, or were abandoned due to severe disabilities. You would have the chance to give a healthy happy infant to someone! They could have a healthy happy marriage, could bond with the child immediately, and you could have a second chance to put your actions in the right order. I have a couple good friends who gave their babies up because they were unmarried and young. They don't regret it one bit. They're now happily married and have their own families, and they know that they did what was right for that first child. Does your church have social services? Look into adoption. What a wonderful opportunity to change a good couples life!
Chocolate
@ Ania
on Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:15 pm
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Yeah, I've read the book "Waterfall."
What did you think of it?
I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Elaine
modesty
on Tuesday, December 13, 2011 at 6:52 am
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Hi, I'm new to this blog. That post was really helpful, cuz I have acrush on a gie right now. Thanks
Darby, there's this modesty survey on therebelution.com it might help you. Just click on the blog and croll down till you see modesty survey and click on it.
Sarah, with the LYWB team
love/hate
on Tuesday, December 13, 2011 at 10:03 pm
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Rebecca…

You are confusing the concept of loving yourself with being conceited. Conceit comes from a sense of arrogance and thinking you are better than other people and thus have a right to do your own thing and to get your own way. For some people, this can imply loving yourself, a me-first attitude.

But for the Christian, loving yourself is understanding who you are in Jesus and accepting what God says about you, even though at times you may not feel like it is true. You will better understand this biblical concept after reading Psalm 139 and going through the book of Ephesians to find who you are in Christ.

You see, Rebecca, loving yourself begins with realizing how valuable you are to God—God loved you so much He sacrificed His Son, Jesus loved you so much He was willing to die, and the Holy Spirit loves you so much He is willing to come and dwell in your life. While this may seem profound, Christmas helps us see this simple truth…the baby in the manger was God’s message that He cares for you! You might want to think about giving a very big gift to Jesus for Christmas—that of accepting the Rebecca that He created and redeemed to be.

Hug your mom for telling you she loves you! :-)
Rebecca
thanks Sarah
on Friday, December 23, 2011 at 1:55 pm
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Thank you so much, Sarah! I hope you have a lovely Christmas.
Sarah, with the LYWB team
Rebecca...
on Sunday, December 25, 2011 at 1:18 am
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Thank you for your gracious response! Merry Christmas to you--may your Christmas Day be lovely too! Blessings and love...
Becky
re: Aimee
on Sunday, December 25, 2011 at 12:28 pm
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Dear Aimee,
Your current situation is without a doubt a tough one. I'm sorry that there's a chance that the father might not be there for you during this time. I know of some girls who have gone through pregnancy without the father there for support, and I know that in of itself can be difficult.
The thing that will probably help you most is prayer. Psalm 22:24 says "For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him, but has listened to his cry for help." If you ask Him for help, as I'm sure you have already, He will answer your call. He loves you so much, and he also loves your baby. He or she -- like every other person on this earth -- has a purpose, and is very special to God. Psalm 139 verses 13-16 say "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. "
Secondly, read the Word. Romans 15:4 says " For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope." You can search for passages that might help you (like scriptures on comfort, etc.)and meditate on those. Or you can just take your Bible and open it to a random spot (when I do this, more often than not it's almost like God picked those passages just for me. Like He knew I would need those words the day and time I opened to it).
Another wise thing to do -- though a lot of people are hesitant to do so -- is to consult your pastor. He's there to help you and pray for you. And he also cares about the members of his congregation. If he doesn't think he can fully and/or effectively help you (because we all have strong points and a range of what we can and can't do) he can find you someone who can.
If the father can't or won't be in the picture, you have a support system -- family and friends who love you, support you and will back you up. If you don't think your parents will love and support you, you might be surprised. If worse comes to worse, you can create a support system with other young women in your situation. If you don't think you can handle it on your own, there is the option of adoption.
Just remember throughout the decision making process and afterwards, keep God in your thoughts. For Psalm 18:2 says " The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."
Though he does know what you're going through and is hurting along with you, keep Him updated. Tell Him what's going on with you and if you need help with something, ask Him to guide your footsteps. When I'm scared or hurt, I find what helps me is to find a big, soft object and hug it tight. Then I proceed to tell God what's up. It's almost like He takes on the form of that object and is cradling me in His arms (though I'm in my early 20's, this still works). Always remember He's near, even though He might feel far away. Psalm 145:18 says "The Lord is near to all who call on Him..."
I will be keeping you in my prayers, Aimee. I hope this journey God has put you on strengthens your relationship with Him. God bless you!
Mckenna
Aimee
on Friday, January 6, 2012 at 3:25 pm
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Hi Aimee! I am so sorry your boyfriend is not supporting you! I am praying that
god will help you get through this! I haven't gone through the same thing as you are now but when i had friend trouble this verse helped me! Jeremiah 33:3 says "Call onto Me and I will answer you, I will tell you great and mighty things that you do not know." All you can do right now is pray to God and read His word!
Mattea
Guys!!!
on Saturday, January 7, 2012 at 9:49 am
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Girls,,just remember that life does NOT( Even though it's hard for me to even grasp sometimes) does not revolve around guys...but God!!! God is the only one that can fill our hearts with PERFECT love, joy, peace.. etc..
Katie Louise
Re: Mattea
on Sunday, January 8, 2012 at 3:37 pm
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That is so true!! It's so easy to get caught up in "love", guys, dates, etc...but there is so much more out there!! God cared so much about us that he CREATED us and gave us a reason to live...let's not throw away our lives day dreaming about guys who could never be the perfect one we need. Let's fall in love with Jesus :)
Rebecca
Sarah
on Tuesday, January 10, 2012 at 2:04 pm
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Hey Sarah! I just saw your reply. Sorry, life has been insanely crazy lately. But, of course! I always try to be nice to people. And I totally appreciate you taking the time to respond. :)
Michele
Not about a guy but same concept...
on Wednesday, January 11, 2012 at 1:44 pm
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So I was reading this (great post by the way!) and lately I've been...I guess you could say worried...? about one of my best friends. she's very inconsistent, I guess you could say. She's like a "fair weather friend" to some extent. I've lately been having negative thoughts towards her, and it scares me that those thoughts will trickle into my actions towards her, and that's the last thing I want! But it's so hard on me when one day she's happy and laughing with me, and the next she's ignoring me or criticizing my every move or seeming like she thinks I'm inferior to her or something! yes, it used to be A LOT worse (she doesn't ignore me much anymore, but she still criticizes me in little ways when she's not feeling her best), but it still gets under my skin. I read about the love verse and putting in the name of the person, so I put in hers (I will substitute a fake name) . This is what it looked like:

Mia is not patient
Mia is mostly kind
Mia can be jealous due to her insecurity;
Mia does not brag
Mia is not arrogant,
Mia acts unbecomingly towards close friends/family;
Mia does not seek her own,
is not provoked,
Mia takes into account a wrong suffered
Mia does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
Mia but rejoices with the truth;
Mia sometimes bears all things,
Mia can be skeptical,
Mia hopes all things,
Mia endures most things.

But what scares me the most is I don't want to be judging her wrongly...which I'm afraid I might be doing right now! I'm so confused....is it just me, or is it her that are making this so hard?
Rebecca
@Michele
on Thursday, January 12, 2012 at 11:49 am
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I can appreciate you wanting to keep the friendship despite difficulties and think that, that is a quit noble of you :) That's being a great and true friend.
However, it seems like you are also very focused on criticizing her. What if you maybe put your own name in the blanks? When you work on yourself it's so much easier to give others the grace to grow! Now, that doesn't mean they get away with anything and everything they want, have boundaries but you know, grace.
You seem like you have a sweet heart and genuinely desire to do the right thing, but perhaps need a little bit of guidance.
I wish the best to you and your friend and hope everything works out! xxx
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Michele
on Thursday, January 12, 2012 at 12:21 pm
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I’m so proud of you for recognizing the way you treat your friend is directly connected to how you’re thinking about her ( Luke 6:45). Ask the Lord to help you be a friend that loves at all times, Michele. Ask Him to help you be patient and kind with your friend…even when her actions toward you are unlovely. Rather than focusing on how she is responding to you, ask the Lord for ways to bless her and to encourage her; to be a good friend to her!

He’s given you a great opportunity to love like HE loves us, Michele – when we are most unlovely.

I’m praying for you, girl!
Emarie
wow
on Thursday, January 12, 2012 at 1:17 pm
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I would just like to say THANK YOU! I dont normally read these, but I got an email about confronting your friend about homosexuality and decided to read this and then I saw you had a category on guys, and I saw this entry and decided to read it. It inspired me to start my own blog. :)
Emarie
i forgot
on Thursday, January 12, 2012 at 1:19 pm
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Here's the link to my blog if anybody would care to read..

http://emariesthoughts.blogspot.com/2012/01/relationships.html
Monica
Love
on Thursday, January 12, 2012 at 2:18 pm
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I've always been familar with the 1 Corinthians passage, but still I struggle with long term love. I see and hear very often people who have been married for twenty plus years suddenly get a divorce. What happened to their love? Does love last? I've been doing some thinking lately and talking with my mom. I'm starting to not think that marraige is worth it if it ends after a time. I thought that love was supposed to last forever and the one that you find was supposed to always love you. I've seen in my own family how love just goes away. I'm scared of that. I want to get married and have a family, but what happens after twenty years? We both just fall away? I guess I don't really trust a man when he says that he will love me forever. Forever is a long time...doesn't he know that? It doesn't seem to matter how strong of a Christian we both are. Someone seems to fall away. My mom said that there really are amazing men out there who will love me always, but I'm scared. How can I REALLY trust a man when he says that he loves me? Or when he asks me to marry him?
Lorree, with the LYWB team
re: Monica
on Monday, January 16, 2012 at 2:21 pm
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I am so glad you and your mom are talking about this, Monica! We live in a fallen world and our enemy is doing all he can to destroy marriages. You see God created marriage to be an “object lesson” in how He loves believers. His love is everlasting and endures to all generations. What better way for our enemy to defame God than by destroying marriages.

Marriage is not easy. It is hard work, Monica. We are a very selfish people who want our own way rather than looking at what is best for the other person (Phil. 2:3-11). But as a husband and wife create their marriage with God at the center and both continue to work hard at fighting for their marriage instead of giving up in defeat, God enables many marriages to last for a lifetime. God gives some clear instructions for the roles of husbands and wives in Ephesians 5:22-33 and Colossians 3:18-25. When both husband and wife live with Christ at the center of their marriage, He strengthens them to persevere through the very, very hard times.

You might enjoy reading what Nancy Leigh DeMoss says about God’s view of marriage at this link (http://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/revive-our-hearts/a-god-sized-picture-of-marriage/).

Praying for you, Monica! Keep discussing this with your mom and stay in the Word so you have a clear view of God and His ability to help in a marriage.
Kinsey
Boys..
on Wednesday, January 25, 2012 at 3:35 pm
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So how do we not like guys? I want to keep my heart pure, but i'm thinking of them all the time.
Sarah, with the LYWB team
Boys...
on Thursday, January 26, 2012 at 11:29 pm
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Kinsey...

It is indeed normal for girls to like guys...so that is not the problem. The problem is when you think about them all the time. You can learn to discipline your mind. One of the things that many girls have found effective is not saying to themselves, "no, I will not think about guys" but to put their minds on something else. The truth is if your mind is focused on one direction, it will automatically shut out other lines of thought. Put your mind on wholesome, fun, interesting and healthy activities, in other words, get a life, develop yourself as an individual, have friendships in which you are involved in activities that you enjoy. Once you start enjoying being you, you will not only think about guys less, but come the time for serious dating, guys will find you much more interesting and attractive. Oh, yes...this is a wonderful opportunity to grow in your relationship with the Lord Jesus. Have your quiet time, participate in a Bible Study with other girls, and look for a place to serve in your church.

P. S. Avoid magazines, movies, TV shows, music and relationships which constantly focus on guys.
Jazzy101girl
Thank-you for this Post!!!!:)
on Saturday, February 18, 2012 at 1:03 pm
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Hi!

Thank-you I really needed to read this post, I used to do that same thing I was literally obsessed with this one guy who I thought I was going to be in a relationship with, but then my friend who I love so dearly I wish I had listened to her to avoid such heart break!!! I really did!!!

Then, a couple months later after I got over the emotional pain and heart-ache all of a sudden God plops an old high-school guy friend in my life.

I'm freaking out, literally, and he is a believer, we met once, and I don't think about him as often as the other guy, (I'm very girlie when I talk about him get become very girlie and can't help but smile!:) And then he asks me out again, I'm waiting patiently, but it was out of the clear blue, something I was not expecting at all!!! And then it's like when we finally let go of being obessed with one guy who we may think is the one but he ends up not being the one.

But then God brings us someone even better! And I'm so excited to get to know my old guy high-school friend! And this time, I don't think about him a whole lot, but pray and ask God please show me why you brought my old former wonderful guy friend back into my life? I'm not sure why, but I"m praying!

Girls, it's the worth the wait to fall in love with Jesus Christ, It's amazing, when things get tough and you want to become obssesed with a guy and believe he can fill your needs, he can't only Jesus Christ our Messiah can! I'm going through a really hard time right now, and even though I'm so excited about the new/old guy friend that God has plopped in my life, I'm waiting for him to approach me while I dive in the word again and find out who I am in Christ.

Young beautiful ladies of Jesus Christ, what is it about a young man you believe will full-fill all your needs as a brother-in-Christ?

Blessings!

I'm a little older and have learned from situations like this! Thank-you!!!:) I still have a lot to learn and grateful to have a wonderful friend who keeps me accountable!!:)
elizabeth:)
brendon. -.-
on Saturday, March 17, 2012 at 5:29 pm
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ok,ive had this friend brendon since we were in preK . Hes nice, we are both 13 and he still will spend the night even though our age group resents it and i get made fun of. i find myself feeling something i dont ungderstand around him.... i get really jealous when he gets girlfriends and we make fun of eachother allot. we go to church together but we havent gone to school together in 5 years. we have very many spiritua conversations about god, we are both strong christains, and love god very much. ive tried, but i cant describe the feeling, i just know it is different then what i feel when i like a guy at my school, or when i love someone as a friend. we go to the movies and hang out all of the time! i did read the book and took the relationship pladge and use it as a bookmark.please help! -really confused
elizabeth:(
help!!!!!!
on Tuesday, March 20, 2012 at 5:47 pm
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Can someone plz help me????!?!?!?
Chloe
What I've Always Used.....
on Wednesday, March 21, 2012 at 12:41 pm
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I actually don't have any other love tests other than the one from 1 Corinthians, which you listed up there on the blog post. I've always used it, and so far none of the boys that I have even considered being in a relationship have passed these requirements. I don't think that the requirements are something that have to be in check all the time, but in general they should be. In other words, I think that I should be able to say that these things are true of this boy, and not have a million times that pop into my head that these things aren't true. I haven't really considered looking for any other verses that talk about what true love is supposed to look like, because none of the guys I'm interested in have been able to pass the basics. Thank you so much for this post, I had not thought about that verse in a very long time and I really appreciate you bringing it to our attention again.
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Re:brendon
on Wednesday, March 21, 2012 at 2:14 pm
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So glad you’ve read Lies Young Women Believe and have taken the relationship pledge. Jealousy is a sin that often surfaces when we’re becoming more focused on our own needs/wants/desire in a relationship than on the needs of others.

So thank the Lord for bringing this to the surface, friend. He loves you far too much to leave you in your sin. Confess your thoughts/feelings of jealousy and envy; turn away ( repent) from that and ask the Lord to fill you with His love that is selfless and other focused. (Philippians 2 gives a great picture of what His selfless love looks like.)

Talk to your parents or youth pastor about the things the Lord is showing you, Elizabeth; let them know you want to be wise and pure in your relationship with your friend. Ask them to help you know what is best in the amount of time you spend together and the way you relate to one another. Seeking the counsel of older, wiser believers is always a good thing!

Praying for you today, friend.
elizabeth:)
re:re: brenon
on Wednesday, March 21, 2012 at 11:17 pm
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Thankyou so much! I will do my best!
Godisloveforever
Question about a boy
on Monday, April 2, 2012 at 5:03 pm
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I have a question. A while ago, I met a young man who I have gotten to know more and more as the time has passed. He has all the attributes I want in a husband. He is a true Christian, he never lies, and he has true faith in God. We've been best friends, and recently, we talked about relationships. He said he loves me and he will wait until God tells him to begin a relationship. I really think this is God's plan! I even took the 1 Corinthians test and he passed them all. How do I know what to do next? And what if this isn't the young man God wants me to be with? He sure seems like he is to me.
Austin
He loves me!!!
on Friday, April 20, 2012 at 12:54 pm
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I looked at the list. There is a guy that I've been friends with for about a year, and recently, he's asked me to pray about a relationship...we've been praying nearly 2 months, and praying we wouldn't have any desire for each other unless its God's will...and our feeling have only grown. He's so godly, and my parents love him. He's a leader. He prays about his decisions. He, like me, has a passion for the mission field and is in college to be a missionary. and he.loves.me. He hasn't said it yet, because he told me he wanted it to be very special the first time he did. But he loves me, and I love him...and in my wildest dreams, I couldn't imagine anything better. God has truly blessed me with a man like him, and we are continuing to seek his will:)
Dorky
Good post, need advice
on Monday, May 21, 2012 at 9:44 pm
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This post was amazing fo me to hear!!! Thank u so much!!! God bless u fo what u do!!! I need some advice bout sumthing from ny1 who is will to give me it...I like this one guy from school who, at first I didn't like at all...I mean TOTALY hated his guts (I had a reason but I won't go into tht)!!! The point is we r now good christian friends and he is the most amazing guy in my life,(other than my daddy)!!! He is TOTALY acting like me likes me...(if u know what I mean)!!! Not being weird at all or nything like tht, but rlly RLLY sweet and kind to me!!! He tells me he is praying for me every night and if I ever need to talk, he is willing to listen. Like I said, tremendously amazing guy to know right?!? But I'm having a hard time with him not telling me he likes me straight out!!! I know I need to trust God fully on this one and everything, but for sum reason...this situation is a hard 1 for me!!! Does ny1 have ny advice fo me?
Over and out,
Dorky : ]
austin
Dorky
on Friday, May 25, 2012 at 12:00 pm
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You're adorable, to begin with:)
I experienced the whole process of figuring out if a guy liked me, (the one I talked about in my post) Best advice I can give you is be his friend, and don't ask him if he likes you. He will tell you if he does when he is ready(like mine did) In the meantime, pray about your relationship with him, and ask yourself, "is this the kind of guy that God would approve of me dating?" Believe me, its alot easier to think clearly in a friendship than in a dating relationship about faults or issues in the other person. Not that you critizize him, but you decide what kind of person he is, and if he's a godly kind of guy. Erin did a great post about what to look for a while back, its in the archives:) Hope this helps!
Christian
okay....
on Monday, June 11, 2012 at 3:24 pm
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well ive had that feeling before but i know its not true because the guy would break up with me because i wanted to stay pure. so does that mean no guy will love me cause im staying pure?
Lorree, with the LYWB team
Christian
on Tuesday, June 12, 2012 at 2:41 pm
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Oh, sweet friend, there will come a time when the Lord will bring the man He desires for you to spend the rest of your life with. He will be so honored when you are able to tell him that you have refused to surrender your purity and that you saved yourself for him. That is the best gift you can ever give to a man. Stand strong for your purity, Christian! It is worth it and in doing so, you not only are saving yourself for your husband, but you are honoring our Heavenly Father through your obedience to His Word. I’ve prayed for you, Christian!
Aubrey
Help!
on Monday, June 18, 2012 at 11:25 pm
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So i love love love this post! i think about my crush/kinda ish bf 24/7. but i want that to change and well i have a good friendship with him and we both agree we are to young for the kind of relationship we have now. (we are 13). so im defiantly gonna try to think of other thoughts other than him. But i wanted to know if there was any way i could help him?? cuz we both want God to be the center of our lives but well its not always like that and well i just wanted to know if any one could help me.
Timbo
Jealousy
on Tuesday, June 19, 2012 at 1:11 pm
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I do like this article, I agree with it and think the idea of putting your love interest's name in the 1 Corinthians 13 verses is a good way to gauge whether or not what is being offered to you is really love. However, something I believe that should be clarified is that jealousy is not ALWAYS in every instance, a bad, sinful thing...

From merriam-webster:
"vigilant in guarding a possession"
We aren't possessions but we SHOULD guard a marriage.

When we get married we make a covenant before God and with God and our spouse. How many of us would not have a problem with another person slipping in and taking our spouses affections and attention and time?

"married persons who felt no jealousy at the intrusion of a lover or an adulterer into their home would surely be lacking in moral perception; for the exclusiveness of marriage is the essence of marriage” - from a study Bible.

Just wanted to point out that jealousy is not ALWAYS a sin and can be a healthy and protective part of a marriage.
Sarah, with the LYWB team
@Aubrey...
on Tuesday, June 19, 2012 at 8:42 pm
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This is a good time to be thinking about this. You are at the age where you can take the initiative in your walk with the Lord. That brings great responsibility, but at the same time brings great opportunity.

Make sure you are a part of a strong youth group. If your church has a youth group, ask your youth director to help you set up a Bible Study, if one is not already available, for 13 year olds. Both you and your boyfriend can attend and put the focus of your relationship on Christ. You will be able to talk about the topics of the Bible Study and enjoy the company of other Christian young people.

Along with being a part of a group, now is a good time to develop a strong habit of personal Bible reading and prayer to start each day. Ask your parents to help you find a reading plan and keep you accountable to these practices every morning. You will find this will be the greatest encouragement to focusing your life in Christ! I’m praying for you as you start this process of living for the Lord!
Christie
Falling in love?
on Sunday, July 15, 2012 at 3:42 pm
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I have a question that I've been trying to answer for a long time. Is there such thing as falling in love? I know people often love other people without 'falling in love' all the time, and it often confuses me...
Lorree, with the LYWB team
Christie
on Tuesday, July 17, 2012 at 9:17 pm
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Falling in love sounds so romantic, doesn’t it, Christie! I prefer to think of it as growing in love. There may be an initial attraction between a guy and a girl. But as you get to know them better, you grow in your love for them. And as you are together as husband and wife for years and years, you continue to grow in your love for them. It’s amazing how you can love your husband more today than you did when you married him!