Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

Daniele
Re:
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 8:15 am
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Wow, this couldn't have come at a better time. I'm really struggling with honoring my parents right now. I'm almost eighteen, and I guess I'm sorta getting a big head about it. It's becoming difficult because it just does not seem like my parents realize I'm not a little kid anymore. They still 100% control my life and there are few things I can do out of my own free will. It makes it extremely hard to have friends because one I can't hang out with boys at all and two the girl has to be some picture perfect girl for my parents to let me hang with them. So many times in the past few months I have considered rebelling. It's become even harder because I have been forced to change churches and leave everyone I knew behind including my best friend. I have just been struggling with respecting my parents, because they are making decisions in my life that I absolutely hate. How do you respect them when all you want to do is the opposite of what they say half the time?
Ania
Re:
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 8:34 am
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Hmmm... Submission is definitely sometimes NOT an easy topic. For me it's sometimes an issue I struggle with, because I don't always agree with my parents' views or decisions. I have a tendency to just be impatient and lash out with angry words.
Great Idea with the challenge I'm going to do it ;-) and I'm gonna put the verse everywhere I can!!!!!!!!! and I'll also pray that God would help me and all of you who are struggling with submission :)

Love,

Ania
MJF
Submitting 2 Parents
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 8:39 am
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If you know my parents this is very diificult sometimes becuase lets just say they arent the "nicest" Christians you'll meet. But what works for me is that I choose to not let their bad attitudes or unkind things they say towards me steal my peace or ruin a good day. God has helped me 2 forgive quicker than I used to, I pray 4 them sometimes, & I find some way 2 be helpful @ homes, like chores or choosing 2 speak calmy when they're mad about something & I'm working on just agreeing if they ask me 2 do something(as long as it doesnt go against God or His plan 4 me) & be a peace keeper! Believe me girls, God can make this work: simply ask & lean on His help &power.
Monica
I Will!
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 8:43 am
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I will put a 3x5 card Everywhere! :) Thanks for this topic. I think it can be an issue in my life, but it's not something I struggle w/..it Is a good thing to remember though. :)
Emily S
Great topic!
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 8:51 am
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Thanks for sharing, Bethany! This was a great reminder for me. I used to see submission as something I can learn once I am married, but last summer God taught me that I can practice being a good wife by submitting to my parents now. I normally agree with my parents, so we don't often have any clashing of wills. =) When it does happen, though, I can learn (with God's help) to honor my parents and prefer them over myself (Romans 12:10). Thanks again for the reminder!
God's girl
I'll take the challenge!
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 10:02 am
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ouch...that came right when I needed it...


Okay, I'll take the challenge...I'll need lots of prayer though. LOTS...lol
Amanda
Re:
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 11:58 am
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Its an issue for me and I need to work on submitting to them more than I do. I think this wa very helpful. In taking the challenge !!
Cheri
Re:
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 1:25 pm
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I totally agree with this and love it! But when do we switch from being children and obeying our parents to being adults and honoring them. Am I suppose to obey them even when I'm older and out of highschool??? It's a little confusing to me :/
PianoLuvR
I take the challenge!
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 3:04 pm
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I think it's really important to submit to your parents because it teaches that we are willing to also submit to your future spouse. If we have terrible relationships with are parents, it may be a sign of future problems in your marriage as well. Obedience and submission is what we can control, we don't have any control over how are parents act. Obey because God said it is well! (And I believe Him!) I take the challenge too by the way.
Katie R.
Re:
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 3:33 pm
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Obeying my parents is a very big issue for me. I've struggled with it so long and I'm tired of always getting in trouble because I haven't obeyed them. I am very willing to go and do this challenge. I'm hoping that it will help me finally get it into my head that I need to respect my parents authority. Thank you for this post because I want to make 2012 a year of making things right between my parents and I !!!!!
BrittanyT
Re:
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 4:07 pm
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Am on board with this challenge and am really excited about it! Thanks for the massage, Bethany!
Kim
Re: Daniele
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 4:46 pm
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When you start reaching that age when you're supposed to be given more independence and you don't it's tough! Trust me, I'm 18 and living on my own at college. But for Christmas break I had to go back and I found that I struggled sooo much with obeying after being able to make my own decisions! Within the three weeks I was home, I had gotten into arguments with my parents, which is pretty rare for me (i think the last time was 4 years ago). In the end, my dad asked that I would just honor his rules. He said he knows that he probably isn't right about everything, but he has to answer to God at the end of it all so he wants to be sure to follow what he thinks is right for his children, even if technically I'm an adult. and that's what a lot of it boils down to. God did set your parents over you for reasons and even though rules or situations may seem unfair, we have to trust.

Rebelling over little things may not seem like that big of deal, but I think God looks more to the heart than the actions themselves. And what is more attractive? A rebellious spirit, or a spirit that truly wishes to obey?

I'd first encourage you to talk to them about the issues that seem ridiculous since you are really at the age where you are close to living on your own and making your own decisions. And when I say talk, I mean not complain, but tell them your reasoning and ask for theirs in a very mature manner. If at the end, you guys don't reach a decision, accept that they are your parents and they have set guidelines for you.

That is definitely a hard path to choose but it'll help you become a more mature and respectful woman of God. It's a great challenge and I think worth it in the end!

Love all you chicas!
~anon~
Re:
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 6:08 pm
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Ugh... This hits me. It's not an easy thing for me to do when it comes to different things. Like for example, my mom is SUPER strict about what shows my little sister and I watch. She basically only allows Disney shows and sometimes Nick shows. As a 14-year-old getting closer to being a 15-year-old, those shows aren't the ones I'm really interested in. Recently I've gotten into the show House and of course there are bad aspects about it but it entertains me and I really enjoy it. However, I know that my mom would not allow me to watch it and I'd been thinking about this recently, like, "Hmm mom didn't say specifically not to watch this show (then again, mom probably doesn't even know it exists), so is it okay I watch it or not?" But I know if she ever watched an episode she wouldn't allow.

So I guess I just can't really watch anything anymore unless I can get into the Disney/Nick shows. :/ And as much as that annoys me, I do know that, whether I want to admit it or not, I know that she is often times right about these things. So it's like maybe that's partially why God has the rule about obeying our parents--so that if there are things like watching a certain TV show that we can decide in our heads isn't necessarily "harmful" but honestly we know isn't pleasing to the Lord, we can't watch it anyway because our parent(s) has a rule against it, so we are therefore protected from it. We don't always know best. So, I guess House is out for me. Oh well. I'll live. :) A few years ago I gave up Secret Life and Pretty Little Liars because my mom didn't allow me to watch them and I survived; I can survive sacrificing another show.

My little sister needs a LOT of help with obeying/honoring our mom -she's only 10 but she can be so disrespectful and mean to our mom!--so if you guys could pray for me & her both to do better in this area, I would very much appreciate it. <3
Carina
Submission
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 6:11 pm
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Wow...this is a HUGE topic. Since u asked lol, I just have to say that this is a really really hard subject....and especially in my life right now, and in the lives of all my friends as well...

Could I request prayer for me and all my girlfriends who are struggling with submission and parent stuff right now?
It would be so appreciated...

And yes, great challenge...a very hard one... But I try to do this often, just like write down reminders for myself and post them everywhere...:)

Thanks again!
Love To All My Sisters In Christ,
Carina
Christen
Fresh look
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 6:52 pm
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I like how you said to obey your parents because it is pleasing to the Lord. That's a fresh look on the issue, I havent heard it addressed that way in a while. it motivates me a lot more than when ppl say "obey your parents because they're an authority over you"- not that that isnt true or that we shouldnt obey just because we're told to and parents are authorities. Anyway, I feel like honoring them to please the Lord makes it a little easier. Thanks for the reminder. I'm looking forward to more posts from you :)
Love,
Christen
Anonymous
Re:
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 8:28 pm
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Like other girls said, ouch. ouch ouch ouch.

I am CONSTANTLY amazed & in awe of how every single one of these posts are right on the bulls eye.
My cousins & started a girls bible study at my house recently, and just last weekend, my oldest cousin was saying, "life is like a cliff. Everytime you trail off to the side margins of the cliff, God has to whack you back into line!" Sounds funny but she's exactly right. And everytime I open one of these emails, its on a topic that God uses to whack me right back into line!
This topic of submission is VERY hard for me, I too am an almost 18 year old girl, and I am constantly praying to God that as these few months are coming, God gives me the strength to submit to my parents.

ALSO girls, if the "submitting to please the Lord" part dosnt seem convincing enough, about this: If you can't submit to your parents now, how will you be able to be submissive to your husband one day? It's what my mom always tells me & I hate to admit she is right. If your not content with submission now, you won't be then eather.

Be Blessed!
Maddy
Just what I needed!!!
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 8:32 pm
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The lord works in such amazing and funny ways. I was literally just praying about this - my boyfriend and I are working very hard to please the Lord and all that we do and let our relationship be His and only His. the lord has blessed us with helping us in doing this and the lords made us trustworthy. My parents don't see this - they limit our time together like crazy, and show no trust in the lords ability to keep us pure for Him until marriage... Well recently iv really been fighting them because I feel like we deserve this trust. The lord has shown me today again and again that I dont need to fight or do anything but submit to His authority, in other words, my parents authority. Thank you so much For teaching me this through Bethany Lord!
kelsey
Re:
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 9:03 pm
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My parents and i were just having a discussion on how i needed to start obeying them in a certain area in my life....And then i opened this email!! Talk about God trying to get a point across :P.....A little bit ago i decided to just do my own thing and not obey my parents (rebellion) and all that happened was that when the truth finally came out i looked like a fool!! So if any of you girls are thinking about just rebelling DON'T....Ever since i chose to rebel and not obey satan has been at me everyday to choose him again....It is not healthy and it is hard to always choose parents instead of that guy or those friends or whatever it may be, but in the end you will never regret obeying mom and dad no matter how stupid their wishes may seem to you...So i am choosing today to take on the challenge to shed my old ways and start obeying my parents and ultimately God TODAY!!!!! please pray for me!!
Lauren
Re:
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 9:04 pm
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Just a hypothetical, but what happens if your parents are telling you to do something that God wouldn't want you to do? If they were telling you to do something you know is wrong?
Janice
Re:
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 10:01 pm
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Haha, if only I had knew this cleary before! For sure I haven't been doing a good job in honouring my parents. Even when I think it's the right thing to do, I know I've upset them when I try to fight with them.
I'll take this challenge to my heart. For I know God will give me strength in all things!
Thanks Bethany :)
Sarah, with the LYWB team
~anon~ and Carina...Praying for you
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 10:49 pm
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Hey, girls...

I have prayed for each of you tonight as well as your sister, ~anon~, and all of those struggling, Carina. May God guide you and give you peace in your relationships with your parents. It is a privilege to pray for you; thank you for asking! "They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed." Psalm 34:5

God bless you, sweet girls.
Sarah, with the LYWB team
I'll take the challenge...
on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 10:57 pm
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You go, God's girl! So glad you have accepted the Challenge. You are not alone in the need for prayer! My pleasure to pray for you tonight! :-) Love and blessings to you!
Sarah, with the LYWB team
Kelsey...praying for you tonight
on Thursday, January 26, 2012 at 11:16 pm
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Sure appreicated your post, Kelsey. God does speak to us as His children...right when we need to hear from Him! Proud of you for listening and hearing His voice...and responding in obedience! I have prayed for you tonight--thanking Him for you and asking Him for His strength to combat the enemy and help you stand firm!
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Cheri
on Friday, January 27, 2012 at 1:53 pm
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I love your heart to honor the Lord by honoring your parents! While adult children are no longer bound by a parent’s authority, it’s wise even as adults to consider the input of our parents, along with the input of our pastor’s or spiritual leaders.

This transition from honoring through obedience to honoring the input of one’s parents is a process that takes place as one enters adulthood and becomes increasingly independent.

I want to give you a link to a great Family Life Today broadcast that might be helpful for you and your parents to listen to together at some point. It’s an interview with Dennis and Barbara Rainey as they talk about the challenges and things they learned as their children transitioned from the teen years into adulthood! I’m waiting to get a new link to this broadcast from Family Life, so as soon as I hear from them I’ll post the link, Cheri!

Blessings to you today, friend!
Carrie, with the LYWB team
Daniele
on Friday, January 27, 2012 at 1:59 pm
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Oh, my friend, I understand much of tension you and your parents are feeling during this transitional season. Our adult children are now in their late 20’s, so we have been where you are today. Here are some thoughts for you to consider, Daniele.

First, choose to believe the best about your parents, friend. They love you. They want what’s best for you; it sounds like they are kind-hearted and desire to do what is right and honoring to the Lord. Ask the Lord to help you see them as He does. Then remember that they too may be struggling to know how to work through this transition time as you enter adulthood. Ask the Lord to help them; to give them direction and wisdom as they continue the journey of releasing you.

Second, choose by an act of your will (not based on how you feel ) to honor and respect your parents even when they are not making decisions that you agree with. Follow Jesus example in 1 Peter 2:23 by entrusting yourself – your desires, your plans, your friends etc. - into the hands of your Heavenly Father. How? Pray like crazy! Tell the Lord how you’re struggling; ask Him to help you honor your parents in thought, word and deed. Ask Him to provide opportunities for you to share your heart with them in times of non-conflict.

Third, ask the Lord to help you see if a root of bitterness may have started to take root in your heart as a result of your parent’s decisions to change churches and their guidelines for determining who you can hang out with. I know these are tough areas, Danielle, but harboring bitterness against your parents will ultimately end up destroying you and hurting others (Heb. 12:15). I’d be happy to send you a booklet that will help you walk through the process of forgiveness if the Lord shows you this is an area of struggle for you. Just send me an e-mail at info@reviveourhearts.com with your contact information and I’ll have it sent to you.

Praying for you today, friend! Don’t choose the way of the world; there’s far too much at stake! Honor the Lord by honoring your parents! You’ll be blessed in ways you can’t even imagine!

BTW: It would be great if you and your parents could listen to the link I mentioned to Cheri. I’ll post it just as soon as I have it!

Bless you, friend!
Sarah, with the LYWB team
Obey God rather than men...
on Saturday, January 28, 2012 at 10:52 pm
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Lauren…

Good question! The Bible tells us "We must obey God rather than men.” (Acts 5:29) Although it would be a difficult balance to walk, we would encourage a young lady to appeal to her parents in a humble, respectful way, and seek the wise counsel and help from her church leaders or a trusted godly woman to help her navigate the path of obedience to God.

Blessings to you!
Heather Sv.
Re:
on Sunday, January 29, 2012 at 2:21 pm
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hehehe... in the screen shot, it looks like you're eating the "play" button... heheheeee... ^_^
Annie
Re:
on Monday, January 30, 2012 at 9:28 am
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Thank you so much for this!! I am struggling with this right now. I needed to hear this.