Are Beautiful Girls Really Worth More?

posted by Erin Davis on 05/28/08 | Twitter: @ErinGraffiti
Category: Myself; ; 140 comments

I recently saw a news story about a website that is gaining popularity at an incredible rate. In fact, the site snagged one million new members last month alone. I won’t share the web address, because it’s not a site I want to encourage you to visit (if you’re anything like me, you’d be googleing it as soon as you read it, just to satisfy your curiosity). But, I do think that it’s worth mentioning the site’s premise.

The website is designed as a place where users can play a virtual fashion game. The ultimate goal is to “become the hottest, coolest most intelligent and talented [girl] the world has ever known.” Sounds easy enough right?

If the game was just about fun fashion I’d be all in. But the rules make it clear that a keen sense of style isn’t all that’s necessary to be the coolest girl in the world. In fact, players get points for taking diet pills, getting facelifts and starving their virtual characters. The game’s ideal weight is far below average and bordering on underweight.

The website’s creators are very open about the fact that young girls like you are the target market for the site. They deny any claims that these themes have the potential to create real life ramifications. But it seems obvious to me that the website is built on the powerful lie that beautiful girls are worth more.

This is a lie that Nancy and Dannah address directly in Lies Young Women Believe. It is a lie that we realized needed to be talked about very early on in the research phase for the book. As we talked to girls like you, we realized that many, many of you struggle to embrace your beauty. Lots of you have told us that you feel ugly or fat or both. What’s worse, those feelings seem to lead you to doubt your own value and worth.

This is contrary to the Word of God. The Bible makes it clear that your worth does not come from your outer appearance.

1 Samuel 16:7 says, “ The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

1 Peter 3:3-4 says, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

Proverbs 31:30 says, “ Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeing, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

Your worth is not determined by your ability to look like the women you see on the covers of magazines. Or in the case of the website I mentioned earlier, by your ability to become the hottest, coolest, most intelligent and talented girl the world has ever known—by any means necessary. These verses make it clear that this is not where God finds your value.

But you do have value.

The Bible is rich with beautiful descriptions of God’s love for you. I can’t even come close to describing all of the affirmations of worth that Scripture offers to each of us. But here’s a taste of how He feels about you.

“ The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have draw you with loving kindness.’” Jeremiah 31:3

Romans 5:8 says, “ But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

His love for you is everlasting. In fact it is so strong, that He sent his son to die for you! That is a powerful affirmation of your value that has nothing to do with how thin you are or how talented, or how beautiful.

Nancy and Dannah make an important point in Lies that I think is worth repeating here. They point out that what you believe about beauty will be determined by where you look. This is especially true about websites like the one I mentioned above where unrealistic beauty standards are obviously the focus. But it is also true about areas where the suggestions about beauty are more subtle, such as television shows, movies or magazines where the world’s standard of beauty is glorified.

Think carefully about your own life. Where are you looking for affirmations of your worth? What messages are you receiving about your own beauty? Are they contrary to what God’s Word tells you about your value?

Comments

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

    Annie
    God loves ME!
    on Thursday, May 29, 2008 at 3:57 pm
    I am glad to see that someone is addressing this topic. It is something that many girls struggle with, including myself!

    I have always struggled with appearance issues, and have actually become an anorexic before. God then broke me, and helped me to realize that "Behold, I have redeemed you; I have called you by name and you are mine." (Is.43:1)
    What a wonderful blessing it is to KNOW that someone loves me in this crazy world, and that someone isn't a human with the imperfect love we all have, That someone is God, the creator of the world, who's love is unfailing and perfect!

    I know that at times, just about everyone struggles with feeling worthless and unloved, whether you are brought up in a Christian home or not....but never forget ladies, God LOVES His creation. He LOVES you! Think about that hard for a moment; doesn't that just thrill you to know that?!!
    Victoria
    Re:
    on Friday, May 30, 2008 at 8:17 pm
    i remember doing this chapter in the book during our book study.. The more beautiful a girl is the more likely she is going to be popular.. Our society wants us to believe this.. It is FALSE.. Inner beauty is so much more important.. I could be the girl all the guys lust after and without Christ I am just empty on the inside and probably full of filth.. If our inner beauty is so good it will spill over to our daily routines and guys will notice how outward appearance have nothing to do with love.. It is all about the heart.. Remember " Man looketh at the outward appearance but the Lord looketh at the Heart" God only cares about the heart.. If we focus on making ourselves beautiful for Him then we will be satisfied and He can /will provide a guy for us.. If we spend our time making ourselves beautiful for a guy then we waste a lot of time and need to get our priorities straight.
    Anonymous
    Re:
    on Saturday, May 31, 2008 at 7:12 pm
    yes. pretty girls are way worth more!!!
    why do u think that they always have a guy? guys go for thin girls, so, that means their liked.
    Erin Davis
    Anonymous
    on Sunday, June 1, 2008 at 10:01 pm
    I am so sorry that you feel this way! This is a lie that simply isn't true. I know that sometimes it seems like you have to look a certain way to get noticed, but this doesn't define your worth. You have value because the God of the Universe created you and he desires to be in relationship with you! Regardless of whether or not boys notice you at this stage of your life, is rather inconsequential when it comes to determining your worth.

    Erin Davis
    LYWB Blog Moderator
    Anonymous
    Re:
    on Monday, June 2, 2008 at 10:04 am
    how can u believe in such a god? if this god really loved me, he wouldnt make me ugly.
    Erin Davis
    Anonymous
    on Monday, June 2, 2008 at 4:06 pm
    Sweet girl!

    God does love you. I am sorry that you feel ugly, we all feel that way sometimes, but that doesn't mean that it is true, and it certainly doesn't mean that God doesn't exist.

    In the Bible, God repeatedly expresses his love for you and for your beauty. Psalm 139 says that you were made fearfully and wonderfully. Psalm 45:11 says that the King is enthralled by your beauty. That means he his held spellbound by you!

    I truly know how to feels to struggle to embrace my beauty. I do know how painful it can be to feel like you don't measure up. But, I found freedom when I ran to the Word of God for affirmation of my value. I would love to help you do the same.

    Please let me know how I can help.

    Erin Davis
    LYWB Blog Moderator
    Tallulah
    Beauty
    on Monday, June 2, 2008 at 4:49 pm
    I don't actually know anyone who loves the way they look! You might think you are just plain and normal looking, and then one day someone comes up to you and says something to you like "hey, you have gorgeous eye lashes" or something that never even ocurred to you before! I know an older lady from my church who is one of the most beautiful people I have ever met. She just has the joy of the Lord radiating out of her and she is joyful in everything she does. From the outside she is just a normal looking person. It's her personality that makes her beautiful! I for one have "thunder thighs" and used to do everything I could think of to get rid of them. But now I have realized that God made me just how he wanted me to be! I think we should do our best to be healthy, but being obsessive about being the skinniest person in school is not good! BTW most of the skinny (I mean like REALLY skinny) people aren't actually the healthiest. Just remember that God made you the way you are, don't try and change that!
    Anonymous
    Re:
    on Monday, June 2, 2008 at 8:22 pm
    Q. Are Beautiful Girls Really Worth More?
    A. Yes
    Nancy
    The truth WILL set you free!
    on Tuesday, June 3, 2008 at 12:57 pm
    The problem with us as women is the issue of "unbelief".....we don't believe what God says about us. Instead we "listen to the lies and ultimately Satan who by the way is the father of all lies" John 8.

    I too struggled for many years when I was younger with this issue. In fact I compromised all my values just the attention of the boys. I live today with regret and only wished someone would of told me the truth about my worth & value according to the God of the universe.

    Today - I know my redeemer lives. I "believe" everything the bible says about me - afterall who wouldn't want to believe the best news ever spoken over us as women.... we have worth, value, purpose, and we are loved unconditionally.

    I don't know about the rest of you but I'm living my life based what what matters most - what God has to say about me....afterall - in the end - its what He thinks that will last for eternity!

    May the Lord give you all the grace today to BELIEVE - to reject the world's lies and embrace His marvelous, glorious, life-changing TRUTH!

    You are loved because of WHO YOU ARE and WHO YOU BELONG TO!

    Come to Jesus....He TRULY loves you~

    Sisters,
    Nancy :)
    Megan Liz
    Re:
    on Tuesday, June 3, 2008 at 4:53 pm
    Thank you for this topic! Usually I wouldn't think of struggling with appearance as a sin, but it all depends on who I'm looking to for love and affirmation. To God all of us are beautiful! And did you know that until recently (and still today in many parts of the world) skinniness did not mean beauty? I think it grieves God when we feel discontented and hate what we see in the mirror...after all, he created us and when we despise how he made us we're despising his handiwork.

    Guys' tastes are always changing. God's love never does. When he looks at us he thrills with love. He sees the beauty of his Son in our eyes and he doesn't care if we don't look like a magazine cover. Sure, we're made to want love from guys, but all we need to live and thrive is God's love. And do you really want a husband who only chose you because you were cute? I know I don't!

    Enough rambling - I'm just so happy God loves me and thinks I'm beautiful! :-)
    Ashley
    No!!
    on Tuesday, June 3, 2008 at 7:11 pm
    Pretty girls are not "worth more". It doesn't matter if you are "big" or "too short" or "ugly" or anything! God loves you for you, and if anyone tells you that "Oh, you have to be this to be 'in' " or "you have to be this pretty, or glamorous to date that guy". Than they are wrong. And if you think that you are not "worthy enough" to date that guy, remember, God has that special man planned for you. God loves you far more than any human being. Remember that.
    Lindsay
    What!!??
    on Wednesday, June 4, 2008 at 7:04 am
    Okay. what you wrote here was that, pretty much, you have to be perfect and skinny just to become hot. Come on, people! Get a life! God made us in His creation and I think we should take a stand for that kind of stuff. Sure, I like playing dress up games online, but if it gets to innopropriate or rude and cutting, I get off the computer right away.
    Lindsay
    BTW
    on Wednesday, June 4, 2008 at 7:06 am
    BTW, i am really skinny (not saying I'm pretty) and I know I am not a pretty-pretty-princess.
    fanofthisbook
    this lie will tear you apart!
    on Wednesday, June 4, 2008 at 12:16 pm
    one of my freinds got very caught up in this lie, even though she is one of the most beautiful girls i know! she got totally torn apart by it and it was very sad. God says that u r fearfully and wonderfully made, beleive him! My dad is big, and WAAAY taller than most people. HE might not have thought of that as an advantage, but it is! he has had many experiences where his size and strength has actually made it much easier to minsiter to other christians, and non-christians. your looks are a gift, beleive that!
    Anonymous
    edavis
    on Wednesday, June 4, 2008 at 3:11 pm
    well u can believe it if u want, and mayB "god" does love YOU but not me. i've seen you- on the movies- and youre pretty- u dont got nothin to complain a/b- your not a teen, you dont have acney and your popular, so maybe god does love YOU.
    Erin Davis
    Anonymous
    on Wednesday, June 4, 2008 at 3:30 pm
    You're right God does love me! But it has nothing to do with my clear skin (which isn't very clear most of the time!) or outer beauty. He loves me because he is the Creator and I am His creation. It is difficult to understand I guess.

    I think of it this way. I am a new mommy! My little boy is super cute, but that isn't why I love him. Even when he has a snotty nose and a poopy diaper, I am absolutely nuts about him, because we were designed to be in relationship with each other.

    That's how God feels about you. I am truly sorry that you don't feel beautiful, and I really do know how that feels. But I can assure you that God loves you!

    I am praying for you to be able to receive this truth into your heart!

    Erin Davis
    Blog Moderator
    Last Edit: on Wednesday, June 4, 2008 at 3:34pm by edavis  
    Anonymous
    Re:
    on Wednesday, June 4, 2008 at 5:10 pm
    not worth more, even though it may feel taht way,
    Ask a man who has been married to a woman who is beautiful on the outside, but has a bad character. He will tell you
    Bridgette
    Guys and being skinny
    on Wednesday, June 4, 2008 at 6:54 pm
    Hey! I just wanted to say that if there is a guy that only will like you because of your appearence, you have to ask yourself: "Is he really worth it?" I changed for this one guy and then he still didn't like me! So it really didn't get me anywhere! I'm nowhere near skinny, but that really doesn't matter, just so long as you are a beautiful person on the inside!
    Leah
    All are Beautiful in God's Eyes!
    on Thursday, June 5, 2008 at 9:24 am
    I used to think that everyone around me was beautiful, except for me. I would think, "I wish I was a as beautiful as her." or things like that. I didn't hate myself or anything, I just thought I was "plain jane".
    Then one day a dear lady from church came up to me and said " Leah, you are so beautiful." I was so surprised to hear her say that I just smiled and said a quiet thank-you. I really had never thought that I was, and wondered why she would have said that.
    Then I realized, I really am beautiful! I began to get a new perspective of me, God's perspective. He showed me that my love I felt inside for him brimmed over and spilled onto my countenance and touched those around me. It's not my physical beauty that attracts people, but my Godly spirit.
    Dena
    not true
    on Friday, June 6, 2008 at 10:56 am
    i used to think that but as soon as i got saved popularity was nothing. its not about how you look that matters its who you are inside that counts
    Sheniqual mitchell
    Everybody that god created is worth the same.
    on Friday, June 6, 2008 at 3:18 pm
    We are all the same people to god we should appriciate the value that he has given us inside. the purpose of us being here is that he wants us to share his word and to discover what he has done. so what me and my friend think is every one is worth the same.
    Gladys Ovalle
    Everyone's special in their own way...
    on Friday, June 6, 2008 at 3:24 pm
    Every person is special in their own way because we are created how we are created...God knows what he does and why he does things.Don't let your self-esteem fall...beautiful girls aren't worth more than others.
    Hanna
    God loves EVERYONE~
    on Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 6:26 pm
    I am stoked someone is addressing this issue! It's sad that girls would starve themselves, and i am super skinny myself, but only b/c i have super high metabalism. Girls are always saying to me, "Oh, i wish i could be as skinny as you!" or something like that, i think it's sad whenever someone says it to me. So i want everyone to know that GOD LOVES YOU!!!! He loves you more than anything... comprehend that! And he cares!!!! He answers YOUR specific needs, while answering a lot of others! God loves you! Never EVER forget that! And God even loves the begger on the street, the drug dealer, the fashion model, the crabby old lady next door, the meth smoker, the typical person, the terrorists, yes he doesnt like what they do and they things they do may anger HIM, but never forget, he still loves them.
    ~Hanna
    baby ruth
    beautiful girls are worth more
    on Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 10:03 pm
    i am actually angered at the adamant way girls believe this. i am 14, and not pretty in the least. i still struggle with it, but i have come to realize that it is actually WICKED to believe it. To anonymous, beautiful in whose eyes? Consider this carefully. The answer is the world. The world will hate you. no surprise there. God says so. you are sacrificing yourself if you conform to it. who are they to tell you if your beautiful or not? DO NOT SUCCUMB. See what God says about it. And about " God? What God?" consider nature. My favorite place to witness this is the last chapters of the book of Job. Its inspiring.
    casey
    Anonymous
    on Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 11:01 pm
    Hey, anon, i can see where ur cumin from, i used 2 b there! its true, guys can get distracted by girls w/ model looks! but, i have talked 2 sum of my very close guy friends, and they have told me, as much as they're distracted by these girls, more often than not its just a fling! they would def. want 2 keep a girl w/ a good character! surprising, right?

    they also told me it hurt them when i said i thought i wasn't gorgeous! i was trying so hard to b sum1 i'm not, that i ended up hurtin' myself!
    i love ya, and hope u c wat i'm sayin!

    -casey
    Lisa
    Girls girls girls....
    on Monday, June 9, 2008 at 12:20 am
    The simple fact of the matter is that God loves us. We were all created beautiful. Ask every one of those famous models if they feel beautiful and they will all tell you the same things we tell ourselves.. that they have flaws that they hate about themselves. We need to stop focusing on our outer appearance and start working on our inner heart and soul. When you keep busy in the service of others you find that you have less time to worry about yourself. Satan is a lier and he wants us to get get caught up in ourselves. lets tell him to go to hell yes?

    I am considered beautiful and when I was a young girl I worried to much about that part of me and not enough about the inner part of me and I decided to change that about myself. I love the inner me and I love the outer me as well but I know which one is the ticket to happiness and peace:)
    tessa
    thats true
    on Monday, June 9, 2008 at 1:56 pm
    i dont think that thats true.it may seem like it but its not true-just because there prettier doesnt mean there worth more,am i right?i really think i am.i dont think its right to say yourself is ugly and any other girl is pretty its alright to say a pretty girl is prettuy but to count yourself out of the list its just not right.am i right?its not funny to starve yourself just to be skinny.or to get surgery done on yourself just so youll look like some of those drunk superstars.i mean this is the body god hjas givin to you and "we" sould be gratefull.right?
    tessa
    god loves me
    on Monday, June 9, 2008 at 1:59 pm
    i am glad to see that someone is adressing this topic.it is something that many girls struggle with,including myself!!!!!!
    Haven
    Re:
    on Monday, June 9, 2008 at 4:40 pm
    For a long time, I struggled with how much I was worth because of what I looked like. Then it came to me in the form of a line of poetry: It's time I stopped hating the creature You made me. God made me this way! It's an amazing feeling to know that you were truly designed.
    Cherie
    hi
    on Monday, June 9, 2008 at 6:05 pm
    contrary to what our culture says, God created us and if you think you're ugly then aren't you insulting Him?
    do this: ask God to show you how He sees you. He loves you.
    Anna
    God does love us
    on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 at 2:17 am
    As young ladies I think that the thing we most often think is that we aren't good enough. We think that we are worthless. But God loves us enough to send his son his ONLY son to die for us!!!!
    How wonderful is that??? I love kids. I can see how hard it would be to give one up!!
    Think about that. God isn't willing that any should perish. He loves all of us.
    Which is why we also need to remember that we can't be mean to others because they aren't christians. God loves them to.
    We need to show them the love of christ through us.
    ALWAYS REMEMBER:
    GOD LOVES YOU!!!!!!!!!
    Faith
    Please don't think that
    on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 at 7:13 am
    Please don't think that because someone is prettier than you they are a better person inside.

    The Bible says that man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart.

    I have known SO MANY girls who were beautiful, skinny, had a bunch of guys chasing them, but they were still sad, they were always worried that people liked them because the were beautiful.

    I've also known many pretty girls who were plain and simply snobs. All they thought about was being gorgeous, and after you got to know them they really didn't seem that pretty to you at all.

    The way they acted just destroyed that.

    So I know it's hard, but try not to worry about what people think of you. God is the one who really matters in the long run, and if you're a child of his, it doesn't matter what you look like, since you've been covered by Christ's blood.
    marissa
    OMG <(gosh)
    on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 at 5:10 pm
    it really upsets me that girls or anyone for that matter would think so low of themselves yeah im not the prettyest or skinniest but who cares if u dont like the way i look well then.......dont look at me!!!!!!something else that upsets me is that girls think GOD doesnt love them that is just sad!
    tessa
    thanks
    on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 at 7:11 pm
    ok that really explains allot ok thanks for the info


    2:erin
    4rm:tessa
    tessa
    i dont think
    on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 at 7:24 pm
    i dont think that prettier girls are worth more i just think we set to high of a bar to get to such as:getting plastic surjery,or starving ourselves.its wrong to do these things just because we think we'll end up looking like a super-stars or the women in the magizenes.im sorry its stupid!!!!

    i think that we do these things just so we can be popular or so boys can like us or so we can impress our friends but its just stipid.

    were actually killing ourselves just to look pretty and were size 0-1 pants and shirts but this is the body god has givin you and we should thank him for it even if you stomach is bigger than other girls or if youre legs arent the cutist so what.

    personally id rather be big than to starve myself and cake myself with make-up just because its what other girls are doing.

    i garrenty you that you will probably live longer than them!!!so dont fall into the devils tricks-temptation but stand strong in the lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Virginia
    Thanks
    on Wednesday, June 11, 2008 at 2:16 pm
    Yeah, i was about to google it...=D Thanks for leaving the URL out. Anyway, lately God has really been changing my heart about this subject. He has made me truly content with the way I look. It's exciting to walk by a mirror and not really think about it.
    skylar
    Re:
    on Wednesday, June 11, 2008 at 9:33 pm
    I think we have to be careful about how we take this.I was anorexic and bulemic for about ten years,and it may have started out about being pretty it became more than that. Dont judge people who are going through an eating disorder because it really doesn't have anything to do with being pretty.
    anonymous
    Beauty
    on Wednesday, June 11, 2008 at 9:43 pm
    we are women designed by GOD and for GOD not for the WORLD
    Mia
    Seeing Green
    on Wednesday, June 11, 2008 at 10:34 pm
    I see myself as needing to lose weight, but never can. I have a friend who is skinny no matter what she eats, and by the time she begins to gain a little weight (middle of winter) she gets some sickness and in bed for a month and loses 15 pounds. I can't help but see green. Everywhere it says beautiful, skinny girls are the best, no question. I can't help but think their right. If I was skinny and pretty, I'd feel sooo much better.
    Faith
    Re:
    on Thursday, June 12, 2008 at 7:08 am
    Another thing that may play a part is your body type.

    You might simply have naturally more fat, and that would be fine, because it would be in your body's DNA.

    Or you might be like me, and be very muscular. Sometimes it's really embarrasing, because most of my friends are really stick thin, but I try to remember, that God planned out even what my body type would be, and know that he has a plan for it.

    Who knows? Maybe it will come in handy someday!
    Anna
    God does love me! (2)
    on Friday, June 13, 2008 at 2:07 am
    I just wanted to add my favorite verse on this topic. It reminds me of the truth.

    Psalm 139:14
    I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

    I love the first part of that verse. I reminds me that God thinks I am worth it.
    I hope that that you will all remember that verse!!!
    Anna
    To Annie
    on Friday, June 13, 2008 at 2:09 am
    Thank you for what you said and thanks for the verse!
    It is WONDERFUL to know that.
    I to had/have some appearance issues, and that is also a good reminder to me.
    Sara
    Re:
    on Sunday, June 15, 2008 at 3:06 pm
    This lie is so true for women of any age! My sunday school class is using this book every Sunday morning! This coming up Sunday we will be focusing on this lie! I, personally, have had this struggle for a long time! I found myself competing for the attention of others rather than focusing on who God made me! I now realize that outer beauty is inferior to the person we are deep inside! God loves us for who we are and we, as believers, should be proud of everything God has blessed us with!

    Just remember girls: Life without Christ is the only thing that is truly worthless!
    Anonymous
    Re:
    on Sunday, June 15, 2008 at 9:30 pm
    yeah, well i dont care what ya'll say- im ugly and who on earth cares a/b ugly grls anyways? your wastin your time tryin to prove that sum god likes ugly people.
    God's girl
    Re:
    on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 11:11 am
    I have a hard time struggling with outer beauty. I'm not ugly, but I always find myself thinking that if I just had clear skin or a smaller nose, I would be acepted more-excpesially by boys.
    Mandy
    Outer beauty
    on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 11:27 am
    I don't know about the rest of you, but I feel beautifull when I follow God's commandments. I'm not saying that I think that I'm a knockout, but I can't stop smilling when I please God. To me, the most beautifull women in the world are the ones that have given their lives to the Lord. Why not start a new trend - inner beauty. You will be more beautifull than the most gorgious model.
    Michelle
    Beauty
    on Monday, June 16, 2008 at 3:45 pm
    I know for a fact that first appearances can be deceiving. With both boys and girls. A guy may be really cute, but the attraction is often crushed when he opens his mouth. Same thing applies to pretty girls. It's better to be a person who strives to please God. Because God sees right through you and gets down to who you really are instead of being shallow like people so often are. Who wants to attract someone who will not except them for who they are and only sees there outward appearance anyway? It's better to live for someone who will always love you for you.
    audra
    this...
    on Tuesday, June 17, 2008 at 10:16 pm
    this book is amazing - I hurt inside for girls who hurt themselves to be "beautiful" cuz its not beautiful
    abby
    I feel the same way
    on Wednesday, June 18, 2008 at 8:32 pm
    I'm always thinking, wow I wish I was as beautiful as her. Or wow she has the perfect body, why are my arms so long and why am I so skinny. Whenever I look at a magazine and I see the models I'll look at her and think why don't I look that good when I put on makeup. And then my mom always tells me that maybe under all that makeup they don't look like that and that helps.
    Gabriella
    Yay me!!!
    on Friday, June 20, 2008 at 2:23 pm
    Yay me!!! I'm pretty in God's eyes!!! In the words of Bob+Larry from Veggietales "+remember kids God made u special+he luvs u very much!!! I no tons of ppl who wood rather have a girl whos pretty on the inside than1pretty on the outside!!! By the way I have yet2c a girl of boy who is completely ugly!!! It's tru!!!
    Jessie
    Natural Beauty
    on Sunday, June 22, 2008 at 12:32 am
    I remember in fifth grade I made a friend who made me realize that women can look a various number of ways and still look beautiful, which is probably the number one reason why I always tell myself and other girls that they're not fat.
    Really there aren't that many over weight girls at my school and there's actually a lot of really skinny girls, and of course it's the skinny girls that think they're fat.
    I just don't get it. But I'm glad that God will always love me no matter how I look on the outside, because he looks at the heart.
    Nicole
    God loves me
    on Sunday, June 22, 2008 at 4:54 pm
    For a long time I always thought that I was ugly, that lie still comes to my mind every once and awhile, but I'm starting to realize that I shouldn't care what the world thinks of me, all I need to realize is that God made me how I am and I'm starting to love how I look!!!
    Julia
    Movie Stars/TV Stars
    on Monday, June 23, 2008 at 12:07 pm
    I really appreciate this conversation! A lot of the time I struggle with the same things a lot of you talked about. What is also frustrating for me is that almost every girl in TV or in a movie is skinny and gorgeous. It's hard to live while constantly seeing photos of these girls.
    lauren
    Lies young women believe
    on Wednesday, June 25, 2008 at 11:06 pm
    This book tells young girls lots of things that they should know. Most girls don't even know what Satan is capable of. His lies can affect our lifes' so much, and most of the time we don't even realize it until some points it out. I'm glad I'm in the process of reading this book.
    Mary
    Thank you Nancy and Dannah
    on Saturday, June 28, 2008 at 6:03 pm
    I am currently a youth leader and Sunday School teacher for young ladies at my church. I heard about this book through a friend of mine at work and decided to buy it and try it out. The young ladies in my Sunday School were getting "bored" with the lessons that were bought from the church to teach every Sunday. So I decided that this book would be a refreshing change to the normal routine. I had no clue that this book and the other book "Lies Women Believe" would reach out to me and uncover the lies that I have believed my whole life.

    I am not near skinny, nor have I been since I was a little girl. I have struggled with my weight, and still do to this day. I went through all of high school thinking I was too ugly to be liked by a guy as more than a friend. I tried other methods to get guys attention, but only succeeded in lowering my self-worth.

    Towards the end of high school, I finally did get a boyfriend who was a Christian. But this was not what I pictured a relationship with a guy to be. Nor, did I want to be seen with him. I believed the lie that "couples" were to look like "couples" and do what "couples" do. I soon found myself afraid and unsure and broke off the relationship.

    I went on to date guys that I shouldn't have dated and did things to get their attention in what I thought would make me feel sexy and beautiful. I totally left God out of the picture. Eventually this led me down the path of heartaches and pain...also the pain of losing my virginity.

    Even now, married with two children, I often wonder why my husband married me. I'm not anywhere a beautiful woman...maybe not to the eyes of those that see me. But he loves me...for who I am and what I bring out in him.

    And to God, I am a beautiful creation. (We keep mentioning this verse, Psalm 139:14 says, ..."we are fearfully and wonderfully made..."). How true this is and l love this verse. It is dear to me.

    But isn't it also wonderful to know that God cares about us so much to think of us often? In Psalm 139:17,18 it says, "How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with thee." WOW!! Isn't it wonderful to know that even if I may not be thinking of Him, He is thinking of me?

    Looking back on my life when I was struggling with these lies, I see God's hand and wonderful mercy. I don't deserve His love, yet he gives it to me anyway. It is my prayer that each and every lady that leaves a comment on this blog sees just how amazing God's love for you is. Accept it and take hold of it, because to be honest, it is the only sure thing we've got in this world that we live in.

    And to Anonymous, I pray that you feel God's love for you. I know you are reaching out for it, or you wouldn't be questioning it or leaving your comments. You are seeking for something that can fill a void and only God can do that, my friend. Open the door...He's knocking. Can you hear it? May you find peace and love in only the Savior. Until then, take care.
    Emma
    It is good!
    on Sunday, June 29, 2008 at 12:05 pm
    A few girls mentioned that they don't believe God loves them because they think they're ugly, or they don't believe in a loving God who would create ugly people. But, you know what I've learned? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I may think one girl is gorgeous,but you could think she was plain! But, to God everyone is beautiful. We're made in God's image. Every single one of us! When God created woman He said it was good. To God we're good! Even if you're not absolutely gorgeous on trhe outside, it's inside that really matters. Sure guys may go for the pretty and flirting girls now, but if you asked them would they marry one of those girls, they would say no! God has ONE special guy for you. Who needs attention from millions of guys? Its hard sometimes, but I've decided that I'm going to wait for that one guy designed just for me. God thinks I'm beautiful, and so will he.
    rariahly
    so true
    on Wednesday, July 2, 2008 at 12:31 pm
    its hard to live in this world when all the girls are skinny and gorgeous. and you constently feel your not good enough. when actually, everything that we see and envy is not even real.. its all re-touched and consumed in being fake. its hard to think of it this way, but God loves us and doesnt focus on what we look like on the outside because all he cares about is the inside.
    Miss_hershyksses
    :DDD WOWW okay sumone wb to meee
    on Wednesday, July 2, 2008 at 3:47 pm
    Okay i dunno if anyone gets on this thingggg nemres but I got sumthin to say......



    actually... yeh

    pretty gurls ( most kno they are so they also dress themselves in a provocative manner) are worth more than nething.

    Boosts their ego.
    And those gurls are usually more open to things so thats why guys go for them.


    You kno wut?
    YOU GUYS
    Ihave an amaziinggg friend and it seems like all the guys like her!



    They always want to be around her.
    Why?

    Well because shes a great person with a great personality.


    Prettiness=Personality

    YEH! I went there! :))))) It is. AND U KNO IT! Who dosent want to be around sumone who is funny or sweet or kind or whatevr u may b! U cud be gorguzzz but a total jerkface :)


    SECOND THING:


    You guys, beauty is about taking care of yourself too!

    You can be 110, 115, 150, 210 or 350lbs!


    As long as you take care of yourself, you are good.

    Take time to do your hair neatly, put on a little makeup and match your things the best you can.

    Even if you don't have the best fashion sense, you can at least make sure you look neat.

    Its true! And you should make an effort to at least exercise three times a week!
    Not to lose weight but to feel good.

    sooo to me beauty is this:



    Prettiness=personality &
    Presttiness=taking care of yourself!


    You dont have to look like a model but you should atleast make an effot.

    Last thing:
    You should not feel worthless because you are America's Next Top Model! I mean look how dumb this sounds, "UGH! I an so not worth anything because I'm not pretty. I mean I have so many other aspects to me, but since I'm not gorguz, I'm worthless."
    Does that sound crazy or what??
    God does love you and that is what matter you guys!

    Sumone respond to this please! :)
    Last Edit: on Thursday, July 3, 2008 at 11:01am by edavis  
    Kailey
    Re:
    on Wednesday, July 2, 2008 at 7:24 pm
    I always had a struggle with that topic. I always compared myself to one of my freinds @ school. She has long , thick black hair, and the tan skin , and ( guess what ) haardly ever got zits. So here I was comparing my pale skin to hers and my boring thin brown hair to hers , but then i realized. it dosen't matter what i don't have , but what i do have . and he gave me what i have for a porpouse . like first off i would look really funny with a darker skin tone . so this is to all those girls who freak out over what they don't have ( don't worry i'm included ) And just love what you have, and rock what you got !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Bridgette
    Question!!!!!!!!!!!!
    on Friday, July 4, 2008 at 12:45 pm
    So, I've been thinking, God made us look this way, He loves no matter what, etc. but, is it is sin not to take care of your body, God made you, so you should take care of your body with not eating too much junk food, regular exersize, but, oh, i just don't know how to put this, you should take care of your body, but like the way you look too. I personally exercise because i am not happy with my weight, so, just sayin, so, what do you all think?
    Tiffany :)
    re:
    on Sunday, July 6, 2008 at 4:16 am
    Yeh... You need to take care of yourself and stay healthy!!!!!!!

    As Christians, we should do our best to keep ourselves neat and healthy.

    Face it, Over eating is a sin, and being a sloppy Joe is bad too.

    Take care of urslef
    Holly
    Reply To Anonymous
    on Sunday, July 6, 2008 at 11:20 pm
    You may think that you are ugly but you are not! Everything that God makes is perfect including YOU! The husband that God has for you will think that you are the most beautiful thing he has ever seen or will ever seen. Besides "Beauty is in the eyes of the Beholder". Since God is our Beholder it doesn't matter what anyone one else thinks!
    julie
    encouragement...
    on Wednesday, July 9, 2008 at 8:48 pm
    this is to all you girls out there who dont exactly feel pretty...first off youre beutiful!!!and not only that but think about it, if the prettiest girls in the whole wide world think there ugly...then whats pretty?....being pretty isnt looks,(even though it feels like it) being pretty is whats on the inside, personality. but what you ware on the outside reflects youre inside. i hate the whole inside outside stry becuase it never seems true, but thats when it turns into mind over matter. to rap up...no matter how ugly you may FEEL, thats not how ugly you are you will all ways be beautiful!!!! would God really create somthing ugly? NO!!!!
    Rebecca
    Opinion
    on Tuesday, July 15, 2008 at 1:54 pm
    Hello, my opinion is that a girl can be super pretty, but God doesn't care how pretty you are, how much makeup you wear or what the cutest mini skirt in abercrombie is, what he does care about is this:
    how much you love him
    where you are going when you die
    how you act (reading your bible, parents, behavior ect.)
    So I think that if you brush your hair, and your teeth, dress modest and are a cristian, and you love god you are BEAUTIFUL in God's eyes,
    kasey
    Re:
    on Wednesday, July 16, 2008 at 12:46 pm
    God made you just the way you are so dont try to change anything about yourself. because your made in God's image and your BEAUTIFUL. :)
    ~Lillie~
    To Everyone who has Bloged
    on Monday, July 21, 2008 at 9:20 pm
    Thank all of y'all for all of the wonderful advice and things to think about! Y'all have really just made me fell so much better!
    callie
    to anonymous
    on Monday, August 4, 2008 at 6:06 pm
    hi,
    you asked this: "who on earth cares about ugly girls anyway?" well, alot of people on earth care about inner beauty more. But, someone who does not live on earth cares about you:Jesus. And, to me everyone is worth so much bcus Jesus cared to die for every1!!!
    Another thing:my friend who has been having issues with her weight told me that recently a guy told her that many guys like girls that are no super skinny, and he meant it. im not saying that we should all try to gain weight now, but that reminded me that God gave you a purpose for your looks. What you look like will attract the right guy!!! and what u consider a flaw could be the thing your future prince will think is your best quality!
    Emily
    Jealousy or Just a Girl Thing?
    on Friday, August 15, 2008 at 12:03 pm
    I don't know about you guys, but I have had trouble getting along with other girls. I did nothing wrong, and we are all Christians, so what's the problem?
    Are they jealous or cranky, what do you girls think?
    I am just going by my life, have any of you had similar problems, I am not alone am I?
    I do have friends though, so that's good.
    Abbi
    pretty girls
    on Friday, August 15, 2008 at 6:36 pm
    pretty girls ARE NOT worth more. and besides inside beauty is worth MUCH more than outward beauty.
    Kara
    re:anonymous
    on Monday, August 18, 2008 at 4:07 pm
    Hey girl. I really don't know what made you come up with the idea that beautiful girls are worth more and that God only loves them. That is totally not true. God loves you for you.If you really believe that you are ugly then you are telling God that He did a bad job and that hurts Him.I have a song that I want you to check out. It's called Plain by ZOE girl. It helped me a lot when I was feeling like you do now.Also any of you other girls out there who feel ugly please check this song out. All I can say is that one day you will meet your knight in shining armor and you know what? He willl love you no matter how you look. Just remember that when you find yourself feeling ugly and that the "prettier" girls are worth more. Its just another one of satans lies. Remember that God loves you and so do I.
    K.C.
    To anonymous
    on Monday, August 18, 2008 at 4:42 pm
    i know where you are coming from...thinking that no one thinks you are gorgeous. but trust me...please.... you are beautiful!! most of my friends think they are ugly in some way....and i admit, i have gone through times where i thought i was ugly and i tried to change. but if i did change...then i wouldn't be me. and why be someone you aren't. i know for a fact that by just being you, you are beautiful!

    i have gone through times when i thought that my height mattered. i am probably 5'10ish and i am 14. i have gone through rough times thinking that i had to be a certain height to be accepted. and i found out that outter beauty doesn't really matter. if you are what the media thinks is "normal" then good for you. but if you are anything else then thats ok too.

    please if you have any questions on what i just wrote...then ask.

    but just remember God thinks you are beautiful and doesn't want you to change.

    <3 KC <3 .
    DS
    Anonymous
    on Monday, August 18, 2008 at 9:22 pm
    I struggle with my weight and i know God loves me. You dont wanna be a stick even though it feels like it sometimes. You just wanna be healthy.
    Sarah
    re:Emily
    on Wednesday, September 3, 2008 at 11:10 pm
    yeah, I think I have that same problem. for me the problem is jealosy. There are two girls I know, one is super pretty (plus she's somewhat of a flirt,) and the other has a gorgeous voice. I just can't seem to act "myself"' around them, no matter how much I try to be. For a while I couldn't even bring myself to try and be friends. (And they really are nice girls, once I got to know them a little more) I feel really kind of mean...I wish I could get over it. I bet I'm wasting 2 really nice friendships.
    Elizabeth
    Beautiful in Gods eyes
    on Thursday, September 4, 2008 at 4:37 pm
    i have always been conscious about my weight and how i look. I have learned that it is ok to take care of yourself but that is not something that should consume us. It says in Proverbs 31:30 that "Charm is decietful and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." When i read that i always remember that God created me and that he will always love me no matter how i look or if i am stick thin or fat. In the end what your heart looks like is all that matters.
    Abbie
    hard to accept
    on Saturday, September 6, 2008 at 2:53 pm
    I've been trying to lose 10 lbs for a loooong time... probably almost a year. In the past few months i've finally started to get more or less of a grip on myself and really focus on self control with food. I don't even need to that bad, it'd be nice but i'm not overweight or anything. I know that God is the only thing that will ever completely satisfy me, and once (if?) if ever lose my 10 lbs i won't be satisfied, and I find it kinda hard to come to terms with myself and accept that having a certain body and being able to do certain things won't make me feel much better, unless I keep God in focus and make sure He is always #1. (if that makes any sense :) ) anyone else feel like this?
    Elizabeth
    Re: Abbie
    on Sunday, September 7, 2008 at 8:19 am
    Hey Abbie!!! i myself have been trying to lose some weight and i am realizing that it is consuming me. i just have to realize like you said that God is the only one who will satisfy us. I'm glad that i know that there is someone else out there that is going through the same stuff as me.
    daughetr of THE King
    Re:elizabeth
    on Monday, September 8, 2008 at 11:38 am
    soooooo know what u r going through but i just remember that JESUS gave me my body for a purpose and a plan to glorify HIM i hope i don't miss His plan for me do to sin ormy own selfishnesss He is sooooooooooooo worth living for JESUS...ALL TO HIM I OWE
    Abbie
    Re: Elizabeth
    on Wednesday, September 10, 2008 at 1:08 pm
    I'm glad too that i'm not alone! I'm beginning to wonder if God wants me to NOT lose 10 lbs lol... I say it partially jokingly but I truely am beginning to wonder. Part of me wonders if i have really given up everything for Him, including what I want my body to look like. Could you pray for me? I'll pray for you, if you'd like!
    beautifulprincess
    perfect girl
    on Friday, September 12, 2008 at 3:57 pm
    So what is a perfect girl anyway? There's cute blondes, cute brunettes, cute redheads... There are pretty girls of all different body types. Like some people think pretty girls are all stick thin, but look at Kelly Clarkson. She's pretty but she's still got lots of curviness. And if anyone out there is even thinking about starving themsleves to lose weight-FORGET IT!! Anorexia is NOT pretty! I have struggled with anorexia and bulimia for 5 years & losing weight DOES NOT make you feel better about yourself! I thought life would be perfect if I was under 100 lbs. When I got there I was way too sick to enjoy it & I still thought I was fat. It's only through God's grace in saving me that I am still alive & able to call myself a beautiful princess. I am gorgeous to my Father God because He made me this way!!! Every girl is beautiful in one way or another. Like I still don't totally love everything about how I look, but I focus on my smile & my green eyes (I love having green eyes!!!) and the fact that my body is healthy & able to play sports & have fun! I hope all you princesses out there will focus on your amazing Creator ok? Ok enough from me...
    Rebecca
    my old self
    on Thursday, September 25, 2008 at 4:21 pm
    Before I read this book, I always thought of myself as ugly. But after I read the chapter in this book, I looked in the mirror and surprise! I was actually pretty. I realize that God made me just the way I am for a purpose and that is to glorify Him.
    tangerine
    totally Right!!!!!!!
    on Sunday, October 5, 2008 at 1:57 pm
    Rebecca,
    I felt like that to. After my mom read that chapter to me and my sisters I felt that I didn't have to work hard to look pretty. That also God has a purpose for me on this earth and it's to be an example to my sisters. Even though 2 are older.
    zoe
    hi!!!
    on Monday, October 13, 2008 at 3:58 pm
    hi! my name is zoe! i'm 10 years old and in 5th grade. i'm nto really a teen yet, but my mom bought me the book, and so here i am!
    Tabatha Hendrix
    Lloyd Hoover
    on Thursday, November 13, 2008 at 1:20 am
    znxkxzz5khsfrhtj
    andie <3
    hey zoe!
    on Thursday, November 13, 2008 at 9:34 pm
    hi! i am in pretty much the same situation only i am 2 years older than u.
    HI!!!!
    Merc<3
    I feel ugly
    on Tuesday, November 18, 2008 at 3:47 pm
    I'm 15. All the time I feel ugly, and somewhat fat. I'm 5'7" and I weigh about 118 lbs.
    My brother and his friend make fun of me all the time. They say the are just joking around, but I can't help but wonder if its true...? All my friends have prettier eyes, and more curves, and I just feel...ugly.
    godz grl
    TOTALY not true!!!
    on Friday, November 28, 2008 at 12:18 pm
    I'm 2 YEARS younger than you and I weigh at least 5 lb. more than you! And if you asked anyone who knew me, they'd never say I'm fat...seriously. So I really don't think that you're fat at all. But I'm mean, boys will be boys and they just tease girls because they think it's "fun", not becaue they're serious. And to all those girls who have brothers, MAKE SURE that they don't tease girls, sometimes it goes WAY farther than they know. Just try to focus on inner beauty and what God thinks, not others. And the key is TO NOT COMPARE!!! I know that I struggle with looking at other girls and wishing that I had their figure.
    But God's REALLY helping me!!! I will be praying for you (And ALL the girls on this sight)! Please pray 4 me!!!

    And another thing, 2 the girls who feel they need to have a perfect body to have all the guys liking you: If your body is what attracts the guy, then he is SO not worth it. I don't care if the guy I end up with has serious acne problems, if he's a man of God, he's the right one. Also, if we're working really hard to attract guys, are we causing them to stumble??? I personally don't want to be held accountable for a guy straying away from God.
    Elysia <3
    Know what you mean
    on Sunday, December 7, 2008 at 4:41 pm
    I have a friend that was just teasing her about things that are making her tell them that she has god on her side. sometimes boys at my school are so rude.

    I'm not really the skinniest person either I weigh 109lbs. but im 12 years old. It mostly seems that the girls at my school that are skninny are hardly ever single. I'm not even allowed to date until i'm sixteen. But my mom says she has that rule because if you go out with a guy while your young and you breakup. he might change after a few years and you might want to go out with him again.
    K.C.
    reply to merc
    on Thursday, December 18, 2008 at 3:38 pm
    if you are 5'7 and ONLY 118, then you are deffinately NOT fat. i promise. and what really is fat?? is it not being what the media wants you to be?? usually you are only the one who thinks you are "fat". like my friend is like around your height, but is like 130 something, and no one thinks she is fat besides her. and if your brother and his friend are picking on you, its probably just a sibling thing.

    :) i hope this helped, if not sorry :)

    KC
    God's Little Princess
    read
    on Sunday, January 25, 2009 at 9:50 pm
    EVERY GIRL IS BEAUTIFUL. IT DOESNT MATTER IF U R FAT OR SKINNY, OR SHORT OR TALL, TAN OR PALE! GOD MADE US THE WAY WE ARE. THERE IS A VERSE IN THE BIBLE THAT SAYS THE KING IS ENTRALLED BY YOUR BEAUTY. ENTHRALLED! THE SAME HANDS THAT CREATED THE MOST GORGEOUS SUNSET CREATED OUR GORGEOUS BODIES!
    Celena
    Beauty
    on Thursday, February 5, 2009 at 1:14 am
    I KNOW WHATS ITS LIKE TO FEEL UGLY. I AM A GIRL WHO IS NOT EXACTLY "SKINNY"...BUT WHAT IS SKINNY? RIGHT? SOMETIMES I THINK LIFE WOULD BE ALOT EASIER IF I WAS JUST A LIL BIT SMALLER, BUT THEN I REMEMBER, GOD MADE ME THE WAY I AM FOR A REASON....I AM WIDE, NOT THIN, FOR A VERY SPECIFIC REASON CONTAINED IN A VERY SPECIFIC PLAN THAT GOD HAS IN MIND, SO I TRY NOT TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT MY BODY LOOKS LIKE AND TRY TO BE MORE FOCUSED ON WHAT MY HEART LOOKS LIKE, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT GOD LOOKS AT!!
    *~blonde.chick*~
    reply to merc<3
    on Thursday, February 5, 2009 at 8:59 am
    come on 118 is NOT EVEN CLOSE TO ANYTHING AROUND THINKING ABOUT BEING FAT!!!! i cant even think of puuting my wieght on here!...i am 15 too but only 5'4". i bet you are nothing close to ugly either...your brother and his friends are jerks.
    Anonymous
    Re:
    on Friday, February 6, 2009 at 5:59 pm
    I am 12 years old, 5'2" and weigh about 100-102 lb. SOmetimes I feel enormously fat. Sometimes I wont eat very much at all hoping to look skinnier by not having much on my plate. and i usually feel like im ugly. but then I remamber not even models look like models! here is evidence from dove: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U&feature=related
    Anonymous
    Re:
    on Sunday, February 8, 2009 at 6:51 pm
    y wont any1 comment affter what i said?!?! =((
    Erin Davis
    Anonymous
    on Monday, February 9, 2009 at 10:26 am
    I am not sure what you want us to say. It is clear that being 5'2'' and weighing 100 pounds is VERY far from fat. But, I am sure that no one want to trivialize what you are feeling. The truth is beauty is a heart issue that rarely has much to do with what we actually look like.

    Also, this is a pretty old post. Sometimes they get lost on the blog. Newer posts tend to get more comments.

    But keep commenting. We love to hear from you.

    Erin Davis
    all4Jesus
    funny :)
    on Tuesday, February 10, 2009 at 10:14 pm
    Ok i live in china and it is so funny because every Chinese person wants to have white skin. all Americans want dark skin. we all want what we don't have. if you have curly hair you want straight. if your hair is wavy you want straight or curly. and if you got it you would soon want something else. Romans 12:2 DO NOT CONFORM ANY LONGER TO THE PATTERN OF THIS WORLD, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind. Philippians 4:12 I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation...I can do all things through him who gives me strength. we need to remember that God does not want us to be envious of what others have. i struggle with my weight too but when i think "i'm to fat or i'm ugly" then i just say this verse over and over to myself, psalm 139 :14 I praise you because i am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, i know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when i was made in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

    just remember all you girls, God makes NO mistakes. it was not an accident that you have straight hair. it was on purpose that he gave you a big nose. he wasn't looking the other way when he gave you grey eyes, he knew it was best for you to be tall. he even planned that you would have bigger bones or be deformed. every little detail was planned and designed just to fit you. YOU are created for a purpose, YOU are NOT and accident.

    God loves every single one of you (no matter what you look like), even if you don't love Him. what an amazing God!!!
    ibby
    i dont feel that way
    on Tuesday, February 10, 2009 at 10:42 pm
    i have never been one to feel good about my self since my mom died when i was 2nd grade i have never been self confident. i fel like they pretty girls are worth more i try my best to feel good about my self. i have been eating really well, and im very active but i am 5'4" and 108 but i feel really bad. my friends are all like small and really pretty. but i dont see my self as a pretty girl.

    i need help from god. erin do you have anything else that is from the bible that wil help me out. i would really like you to pray for me. thank you sooo much.
    Erin Davis
    ibby
    on Friday, February 13, 2009 at 2:43 pm
    Did you know that Psalm 45:11 says, "the King is enthralled by your beauty, honor him for he is the Lord."

    The King here is God. And this passage says he is enthralled by YOUR beauty. Enthralled means to 1) captivate 2) to hold spellbound 3) to enslave.

    The God of the universe is enslaved to your beauty! Regardless of what other people see, He is held spellbound by you.

    I know that the World makes it difficult to feel beautiful if we aren't their version of perfect. But doesn't weight, and clear skin, and perfect hair matter a little less when we realize that God created our beauty and he is enthralled by it?

    I hope this helps.

    Erin Davis
    no name please
    bulimia and cliques
    on Sunday, March 1, 2009 at 12:02 pm
    I was friends with a girl for 7 years, right up until last year. Then she was able to manipulate a half dozen girls at a bible quiz group thing to ignore me for 6 months. I quit, though I loved it and was really really good. I thought I was getting better, but I live in a small community and I still see this girl around. I feel so lost and the rejection stung...I've begun to force myself to vomit the stuff i eat. I can't tell my parents, they would be so disappionted in me and my friends don't get it so I can't tell them...I feel helpless and worthless so often...what is wrong? I don't even enjoy forcing myself to throw up, I just do it. usually I don't even think about it, there is a reason it is an addiction....
    Kim
    to Ibby
    on Wednesday, March 4, 2009 at 10:29 pm
    Hey girl,

    I kinda know what you mean, i used to go through that, but i really don't worry about my body that much any more. I'm 5'3" and 120 pounds, and sometimes my friends make fun of me for being skinny!!

    But i'm still not feeling 100% pretty, my face has a lot of pimples, and it's always red. But i guess you sort of get over it and learn to love it. : )

    And sometimes you just need to look in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful! And that God made you pretty. I used to do this (almost daily) when i was really struggling w/ the way i look.

    Hope this helps, and i will be praying for you!!! : )
    Anonymous
    re:bulimia and cliques
    on Saturday, March 7, 2009 at 4:45 pm
    God loves you and finds more worth than you could ever imagine. I do encourage you to tell your parents. I, myself have considered bulimia, and my parents don't know. But maybe that's something we can work on together through this blog. Your parents may be disappointed. But they will still love you, and if they don't GOD WILL.
    Sadie
    totally get it!!!!!!!!!!
    on Sunday, March 22, 2009 at 1:36 pm
    up until a few months ago i always thought i was like the fattest person around--but then i realized something, i really wasn't fat at all! i just believed some jokes that a friend of mine would always say--he's like a 13 year old who obsesses over making rude jokes about ppl. He would always be telling me that i was fat, but he was the only one that ever said things like that to me. but i based my whole perspective of life on those stupid comments--finally i had had enough of that-and began excersizing-i didn't really need to but it helped me feel better about myself and it helped with the "bumps" i've been running for the last 3 months and i've dropped over 10 pounds and i've gained a lot of muscle which has greatly toned my body--i feel and look great!
    i also realized that there was no reason to get all bent out of shape about jokes and dumb things like that--i'm not trying to sound vain or prideful but i am a pretty attractive girl, every were i go i always have annoying guys following me around--the zoo, fairs, church, shopping--it really annoys me!!!! but it's just not looks that attracted ppl it's also personality! and i have a very fun loving, exciting personality and a lot of guys like that! besides girls, not every guy is as shallow to only see how skinny u r..i'm no where near the skinniest person...but i still have a lot of guys, and i'm very popular, i also have tons of friends--it's not all about how skinny u r
    in fact some guys to actually like curves! look at kim kardashian or kelly clarkson for goodness sakes!!!! it's not all about being 100 pounds!
    it's about your character, personality, how u take care of yourselve and treat others!
    i mean i get zits too! i'm def not 120 lb, in fact i'm "too tall" accourding to some ppl-i'm 5'7-and i have a "big" nose LOL--but i just stopped letting those things bother me! and i'm MUCH happeier with my looks and that helped w/ my confidence!
    be confident with how u look girls! cause unless u r going to do dumb plastic surgery-your kinda stuck :)-so get use to it (but that doesn't mean u don't take care of yourself)
    Vinda
    dear Erin
    on Thursday, April 23, 2009 at 10:35 am
    thank you for this article.. I used to struggle with self-acceptance as well, but Jesus had set me free, so glad of it :)

    and thank you for the Psalm 45:11, wow... can't believe I've finished reading the whole Psalm book but accidentally missed that part ;) thank you, Erin, this article will be a good reference for me to encourage other girls to embrace their self-confidence in Jesus Christ, for we are all already complete in him (Collosians 2:9-10). thank you so much and God bless you :)

    oh, I have a suggestion, I don't know if you've written about this or not (since I'm new here ;) ), but you may also write articles about "media's distortion on self-acceptance" :) I think video clips displayed on MTV nowadays show girls only as "objects of men's lust", and high-fashion magazines that only adore girls in their "skinny, shining hair, designer clothes" figure, which is a dangerous lie for mostly teenage girls.

    PS. I've spent hours to browse this blog, (I've just found this today and so glad of it!) I wish I could find an untranslated copy of LYWB here in Indonesia!! :D
    Erin Davis
    Vinda
    on Thursday, April 23, 2009 at 7:59 pm
    Great idea! I will put that topic in my file of ideas to blog about soon.

    Erin
    Godsgurl!
    erin
    on Tuesday, April 28, 2009 at 9:05 pm
    I know just what you are going through! Lots of girls will look at themselves and compare themselves to models or things like that. The best thing to do is get into your bibles! If you read it, some of these verses say things that can really touch you. Also spend time praying with God! He likes hearing from you girls! I know that there will be times when you will see the "cool girls" doing something to look prettier,but don't fall for it! Things like starving yourself or wearing a huge, over the limit amount of make-up is not cool. Erin, I just strongly encourage you to get into your word. This will show you that you are ALWAYS beautiful in God's eyes.
    Anonymous
    ???????
    on Thursday, April 30, 2009 at 6:35 pm
    is it ok to do eraser burns and what about cutting as long asyou dont bleed your not really trying to kill yourself or any thing soo y not??
    Erin Davis
    Anonymous
    on Friday, May 1, 2009 at 9:30 am
    These behaviors are not okay.

    1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

    Your body is God's temple and you are hurting it by doing eraser burns and cutting. The second part of that passage tells us that you were bought at a price. That price was Jesus' death on the cross. After he has paid such a high ransom for you, it is not a good idea for you to harm his "temple."

    The bigger question for me is why are you doing this? If you are hanging around a group of friends who are engaging in this type of behavior, that raises a red flag for me. The reason most people cut or do eraser burns is because it causes a temporary release or high. This is not healthy emotionally or spiritually and most of the time the behavior gets worse as the high becomes less and less effective.

    Please steer clear of this behavior. It may not be easy, so I strongly encourage you to find someone who can hold you accountable to your decision to stop. Find someone who is a strong Christian who will regularly ask you how you are doing in this area.

    Erin
    anonymus
    erin
    on Sunday, May 3, 2009 at 6:17 pm
    first of all it is Not my freinds! if they knew they would freak any way so i will tell one of them to hold me acountable.
    Libby
    Exactly
    on Monday, May 4, 2009 at 5:13 pm
    I have struggled with my weight adn pressure,becasue i love Basketball adn well i think im huge.(i way 133 pounds)Icant do anything without geting winded,like on the 2nd lap of my mile i was winded and i started to about cry becasue thats just pathetic!!but every time i try i always find a way out of it I NEED HELP!!!!I know god loves me and thinks im beautiful no matter what,but im not happy al the populars get the guy and i never do.im tired of getting caled the dork.help please.
    Jen
    re:libby
    on Wednesday, May 6, 2009 at 1:40 pm
    hi libby i'm so sorry you feel this way! trust me i way about 10 pounds more then u and sometimes i feel fat to-but as long as your excersizing and stuff you're good! (i use to be 140 lbs of fat now mostly muscle now so that's good) and being 133 is NOT big! just because you're not an annorexic person that wears a size 0 doesn't mean your fat....

    and i get winded after my first 1/2 mile alll the time! you just have to push through it--it's really hard to control your breathing when jogging you have to breath a certain way - slowly with strong exhalls and that really helps with controlling the heart rate and how winded u r after the first mile or so. And it's good-really good-that you are NOT starving yourself! that is sooo bad for u--if u wanna loss weight just jog or something-so much much better for u!!!!!!!!!!!! and it's good that you're doing that

    and just ignore ppl when they call u a dork-they don't know anything :) u sound pretty cool :)
    anonymous
    erin
    on Thursday, May 7, 2009 at 7:24 pm
    im the girl who first wrote you on april 30 on cutting and eraser burns i just wanted to say i havent done either in 6 days ( since you first wrote)!!! thanks!!
    Erin Davis
    Anonymous
    on Thursday, May 7, 2009 at 11:16 pm
    Praise God! I am so proud of you.

    Erin
    Anonymous
    ERINROCKS
    on Wednesday, May 13, 2009 at 3:57 pm
    its been 12 days!!! since i last cut i thlink i am offically over it!!! love ya erin you are so awsome!!!
    Erin Davis
    Anonymous
    on Wednesday, May 13, 2009 at 4:08 pm
    I am SOOOO proud of you! Let's just praise God together for a minute okay? He is the one giving you the strength to start treating your body like the temple that it is.

    Will you leave me a comment when you hit the 30 day mark? That is a huge milestone because it takes 30 days to form a habit (but 12 days is a great milestone too).

    I am very, very proud of you. It takes courage to make a change.

    Erin
    Anonymous
    ERIN
    on Thursday, May 14, 2009 at 4:13 pm
    ok erin il let you know and ino it is god who is getting me thrue this GOD IS SO GOOD!!
    Jacquelyn
    All this beauty junk :-)
    on Friday, May 15, 2009 at 1:46 pm
    Okay. After reading through these comments, I hope I can offer a little bit of an "older girl" perspective. To the people who are writing in that they think they are fat at 100 lbs. and 5'2" or 120 lbs. and 5'7": get over it.

    I'm not trying to be insensitive, but really, it's pretty ridiculous that you are concerned about this. I would suggest that you concentrate more time on your studies, get a hobby, start a business, or write in a journal. When you're not busy, you're more likely to obsess about these kinds of things that really don't affect you in the long run. I have OCD, so I'm something of an expert on this. :-)
    *~blonde.chick~*
    my last chance
    on Friday, May 15, 2009 at 2:08 pm
    this is it. i am at rock bottom. i am depressed, and tired of living how i do. my parents are not going to accept me until i lose weight. i have been trying to lose weight for like 5 years. so i quit eating. both my parents know. and my dad said that i can do what i need to to lose weight. neither of them care that i havnt eaten in a week. i want to start cutting again. but i know i cant. because they will find out. i am fat and ugly. i have been told that i would be so pretty if i lose weight. i have been told that i could get a boyfriend if i lose weight. so apparently that means that i am ugly as i am. i dont know where or how to get help. and however i fix the mess i am in they CANNOT FIND OUT. i am sick of living like this. i am getting worse and worse at hiding the way i feel. several of my friends have asked me lately if i am depressed. but i cant tell them. i cant tell anyone. i have no one to go to and no one i can trust. so this is my last place to go. please help. i have no clue what to do.
    Anonymous
    jacquelyn
    on Sunday, May 17, 2009 at 9:07 am
    what is OCD???? (justcourioss)

    and yuou daid an older girl prespective so how old are you and how don you know your older then us?????
    Erin Davis
    blonde chick
    on Monday, May 18, 2009 at 10:19 am
    I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. I do know what it is like to find yourself in a pit and wonder if you will ever get out.

    I strongly feel that this is something that you need to talk to a Christian adult about. It sounds like so much of the reason you are struggling with depression is because you are holding on to secrets and not letting them be exposed to the light. When we do that with secrets they have a tendency to grow and grow. So often, as soon as we share them with someone we can trust they break their hold on us.

    I know that you feel that you can't talk to anyone about what your going through. But I think that likely, that feeling is not based on fact.

    Would you please consider talking to someone about your struggles this week. Can you talk to your youth pastor or his wife? Can you talk to your pastor or his wife. Does one of your friends have a godly mom you can talk to? How about a teacher?

    I really, really, think that your most important next step is to get some godly counsel. No doubt it will be tough, but it can't be worse than what your feeling right now, right?

    Erin Davis
    *~blonde.chick~*
    re:erin
    on Tuesday, May 19, 2009 at 9:28 am
    i dont know. i have to decide if its worse feeling like this or being betrayed by someone i thought i could trust and my parents finding out. i have to make a decision soon though. becuase i dont think i will be able to hide it much longer.
    someonewhoknows
    blondechick
    on Wednesday, May 20, 2009 at 2:17 pm
    ok take this from a girl who knows this is the biggestlie you will ever hear and its one i beleived::::: cutting its great it gives a high its somthing your in contrule of its body art>>> that is a lie yeah cutting dose give temporary joy high all that but it also give scares that will never heal lonlyness depresion guilt all that is what it bring it s bad i know cause ive been there for a liong time and erin helped me get out i still have scares i was crazy when it was just me an d my blade ilove it i was addicted to it i did doodles on my bobdy with a knife hearts stars xboy freinds you name it i had had it and i never got caught cause i did it where no one could see like my thighs it was awfull it brouight no true joy nothin then i talked to erin about it and she helped me i still am not out of the woods but its been over 2 wks since ilast cut and i am happyer then i have ever been well DONOTCUT love in christ
    Anonymous
    erin
    on Friday, June 5, 2009 at 10:29 am
    hey i think its been over 30.... sory i forgot about it but i have not cut!!!!!! it is soo much better i am so much happier and everything!!! and guess wat people lik me more cause i am not soo with drawn allthe time i have to admitt that when i get mad i still think about cutting it just creeps in but as soon as its in God helps me get it out just as fast!!! thatnk you sooo much erin for pointing me to the truth!!!
    Erin Davis
    Anonymous
    on Saturday, June 6, 2009 at 2:29 pm
    I am so proud of you! I am thrilled that God used me to point you toward His Truth in this area of your life.

    He is so good!

    Erin
    no name..
    Re:
    on Friday, October 23, 2009 at 1:07 am
    I have been struggling with an eating disorder for over a year now, when i first started i hated the way i looked, i had to see counsellers and everything. Now that it has been over a year i know that im skinny, im very skinny, im 15 years old and i weigh less than 100 pounds, but since the eating disorder has control over me now, even though i think im skinny, i cant stop. I am not seeing counsellers anymore, but i know now is enough and im just not sure how to stop.. please give me some advice.
    Erin Davis
    no name
    on Friday, October 23, 2009 at 1:02 pm
    I have also struggled with eating disorders. I understand the feeling that you want to stop but can't. That feeling is called bondage and Nancy and Dannah talk a lot about it in "Lies Young Women Believe." If you haven't read that book, I recommend that you do so. I think it will really help you to recognize lies and give you the steps to take to replace those lies with God's Truth.

    But this really isn't an issue that I can help you with over a blog. I strongly recommend that you return to counseling especially since you are still acting out your eating disorder. If the counselors you saw before weren't a good fit, find someone else. But eating disorders rarely have a simple solution. You need to seek the counsel of someone who can walk through the process of healing with you. Specifically, I would encourage you to see out Christian counselors. Apart from God's powerful Truth, the bondage created by believing lies can be really difficult to overcome.

    Erin
    Livn4daLord
    Beauty tips!! (God's tips!!)
    on Friday, March 26, 2010 at 7:20 pm
    there was one time i was in that situation i asked myself "am i pretty enough?" i mean i read books i did everything to make myself seem beautiful one day i realized you know i am BEAUTIFUL!!! and now i have gotten into makeup and all that stuff and now i feel and look beautiful not trying to show off but just as an example.
    But here are the 7 guidelines/tips on LOVING yourselves!

    1) dont use makeup as your escape to feel beautiful some girls use that alot to feel like they are pretty. you can still wear makeup but dont use it to escape your beautifulness when your not wearing it.

    2) say to yourself each night one compliment about yourself, Example: wow julie today you looked gorgeous, or my outfit today is sooo cute i love it!

    3) dont listen to anyone if the say something about you block it out of your mind.

    4) try something new (If you want) new style new hair-do (Change is always a good thing :)

    5) if you see girls that are in the in-crowd because they are pretty and they feel and look pretty and you want to feel the way they do even tho they act like they dont care how they look and are always looking in the mirror cause they think they are pretty and you wish you could think that way that you are pretty like them, they dont really think that they use make-up and being in the in-crowd as their pretty-ness they are really Self-Conscious and you dont want to be that way you want to love yourselves as really being pretty not the in-crowd having you feel pretty.

    6) dont think your pretty-ness comes from what the world says or anyone it comes from what God says he made you who you are, because they guy he has for you to marry is going to love you for your looks on the inside and the outside
    beauty is more than make-up and jewelery and ect. is your divine qualities within you and that is how God wants you to be.

    and last but not least
    7) just remember your BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! a million times and if a boy says your not or you feel like boys dont like you_well if a boy likes you for if your pretty then he likes you for what you look like and not for who you are on the inside!!!!!!!

    i used theese tips and it really helped now i never think of myself as not pretty i see the beauty that God has Created me to be on the inside and out now just waiting for the to love me for that!
    Anonymous
    Re:
    on Saturday, April 10, 2010 at 12:15 pm
    A few years ago my boyfriend commented that i'm just an average looking girl. Till this day, even though i've forgiven him, i still struggle with the thought that beautiful girls are worth more. And i ask myself if he really loves me, why would he have said it. But deep down in my heart, i still know that God loves me deeply.
    Nichole
    Encouragement
    on Monday, April 12, 2010 at 2:20 pm
    God made you the way you are and he loves you no matter what you look like!!
    Christ Loves You Very much!!!
    Anonymous
    Re: encourgement
    on Thursday, April 15, 2010 at 11:33 am
    Thanks nichole for yr encouragement! Yes, it's a struggle and many times i question my self worth based on my looks. You're a precious child of God too!:)
    Andrea
    get over it, girl!!!!!!!!!!!!
    on Sunday, June 27, 2010 at 11:14 pm
    by the way, im NOT saying that to any of you, im saying it to myself.

    i am 18 and not that long ago i was diagnosed with clinical depression. i hate myself, especially my personality and i used to really hate my looks. I was so convinced that i was ugly both inwardly and outwardly. i would not believe people when they would say i was beautiful both ways, especially not about my looks. I am still VERY obsessed with beauty and being beautiful. Now that i can look in the mirror without glaring at myself, i realize that i am getting vain. all the guys used to hate me and now they have major crushes on me. I always fish for compliments and i hate it. I wish i could just stop it! Even though i may be beautiful on the outside i am a VERY unhappy girl!!!

    And YES, i DO believe that beautiful girls are worth more, even though deep down inside i know its not true.

    Thats what i measure my worth by.

    Does anyone else struggle with this????

    I doubt it.
    Erin Davis
    Andrea
    on Tuesday, July 13, 2010 at 3:20 pm
    I want to strongly encourage you to find someone to talk to where you live. I have dealt with self-loathing and it can eat you alive. You are going to have to choose truth instead of continuing to choose to believe lies about your worth and you will probably need some help to make that choice. Is there a godly woman you can turn to for help?

    Erin
    Andrea
    Re:
    on Thursday, July 15, 2010 at 10:23 pm
    thanks for replying, Erin.
    I have talked to my mom and my sister and a 3 friends about this, but no matter what they say i still struggle with it. i've almost given up and they don't know what to do with me. i have wanted to commit suicide soooo many times but didn't dare only because i knew i would go to hell if i did. the thought of hell scares me really, really bad. i am on depression medication but i still can hardly bare home life. I am extreamly scared that my dad will abuse me or something. and also im afriad he did once and i just don't remember it. i don't know what to do with myself anymore.

    i wish i wasn't this way. i have believed these lies for so long i just don't think there's hope for me anymore and i don't know how not to believe them...
    Erin Davis
    Andrea
    on Thursday, August 5, 2010 at 10:54 pm
    There is hope for you. But it sounds like you are going to have to fight for it. Have you read "Lies Young Women Believe." It has so much great insight on how to fight Satan's lies with God's Truth. I really want to encourage you to read it (or re-read it) and put into practice the steps that it outlines.

    Is there any way I can help you with that?

    Erin
    Andrea
    Re:
    on Monday, August 9, 2010 at 12:48 pm
    yes i have looked through it anyway. Maybe i'll try to take your advice. I have surrendered myself completely to God and He's really been working in my life but i still struggle with believing lies especially in the area of beauty. And self-worth. the thing is i hardly want to believe the truth about beauty because then i feel like i wont be worth anything... as long as i'm more beautiful than any other girl i know only then i feel like i'm worth something because i'm not good enough anywhere else. not even where people claim i'm talented.....
    Audrey
    Re:
    on Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 9:57 pm
    I'm not fat. Actually i'm really thin. I'm 5'7" and about 95 lbs. Sometimes i get scared at how thin i am. But i eat ALOT. i haven't gained weight for like a year, and i dont know why. Any reasons out there??
    Audrey
    Re:
    on Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 10:09 pm
    Im not fat. Im actually really thin. Im 5'7" and about 95 lbs. Sometimes it scares me how thin i am. I eat ALOT. im not anorexic or anything. so i dont get why im so thin. Any reasons out there??
    Austin
    To Erin
    on Thursday, January 20, 2011 at 12:43 pm
    I have strugled with this for a long time....since I was in 8th grade. I am not clinically overweight, but I still feel fat. I wish I was skinny like the rest of my friends...........I have never MADE my self throw up, exactly, but I have come very close before. I don't cut but sometimes the number on the scale just screams worthless at me. I get so mad at myself for eating and then weighing so much. It doesn't halp that the only guy I had ever really cared for decided he didn't like me.....alot of guys are interested in some of my friends.....and I don't know what is wrong with me. No godly guys like me....
    Erin Davis
    Austin
    on Tuesday, January 25, 2011 at 8:15 am
    It sounds like there is a lot going on in your heart, sweet girl.

    My guess is you have a distorted body image, you don't understand how God feels about you, and the Enemy is using the rejection you've experienced as a result of one guy to lie to you.

    That's a lot for me to deal with in a blog comment.

    I want to really encourage you to be pro-active about replacing the lies your are believing in the area of your worth with God's Truth. Do you have a copy of "Lies Young Women Believe?" It will help you identify the lies you are believing and replace them with God's Truth. It tackles the lies you mentioned head on. If you've already read it I suggest you go back and re-read the "Lies About Myself" section. I would also encourage you to read my book "Graffiti: Learning to See the Art in Ourselves."

    I'm not just trying to throw books at your problem to avoid giving advice. I know for a fact that the issues you are struggling with can't be addressed in a couple of paragraphs. But that doesn't mean there is no hope. I used to be exactly where you are. I felt the same feelings you described. But I don't struggle in those areas anymore because I got into God's Word to see what He has to say about my value and then I chose Truth.

    It's a process and one I can't do for you, but I promise you if you will do the hard work of replacing lies with Truth you will be free from the feelings of worthlessness and rejection that you are struggling with now.

    Hope this helps!

    Erin
    Austin
    Re:Erin
    on Tuesday, January 25, 2011 at 10:25 pm
    Thanks Erin! I have both of the books that you suggested(I actually won them at the Indianapolos True Woman conference.....(you might remember me.....I was the girl on crutches....) :) I know that I don't have an eating disorder or anything.....hope it didn't come off that way....and i don't feel that way all the time......sometimes I actually do feel really pretty.....but when i feel ugly, it really messes me up.......thanks for replying though!!!! you are the best!!!!
    Lakisha
    Truth
    on Tuesday, January 29, 2013 at 7:50 pm
    What about those who actually want to gain weight? People assume that its only those who are overweight that think they are not feminine enough. But i lose weight at the drop of a dime and feel like I don't have the curves that a woman should have. I feel boyish and stick thin. I haven't been able to get back the weight that I had when I was in high school and I am 27.

    I know the Lord loves me and loves everyone. But as a woman, He made us to want to be appreciated by a man. And He made man to appreciate and be drawn, even if its initially, to beauty. Regardless of the cliches that are said, it is true that having physical beauty is desirable and has always been. A man may choose a beautiful woman with a good heart over a plain woman with a good heart. That's just how it is in this life when it comes to issues of attraction. And that's fair enough, because I want to marry someone who I am attracted to, as well as having other inner characteristics of course. Attraction between the opposite sex IS important and has its place and shouldn't be down played as if it should be sacrificed just because the person may have a good heart. That's unwise and isn't realistic when it comes to men. Women more likely will fall in love with a man who they initially thought were ugly and grow to love them because of how the man treats them and their good character. But most men, not all, are wired differently.Beauty IS important to a man and most woman want to get married and physically attract a mate. Its only natural. And I of course, have a need to be physically desirable to the man I would love and marry.

    I'd say the hope that we have as women who have issues accepting ourselves physically, is to take comfort in the fact that God will send us someone custom--made for us who WILL think we are physically beautifully exactly the way God made us. Because THAT man will be sent from the Lord and the Lord had US specifically in mind when forming the wants and needs of that man. And vice versa. Its nice to have more man who think you are attractive, but we only are going to marry one anyways (hopefully). Any other man who appreciated the physical beauty God has given me is just extra!

    All in all, God loves everyone and made them all according to His purpose and how He wanted. he made no mistake. He put in man and woman the desire to physically attract a mate and to appreciate the physical beauty in others. He makes provision for everyone's beauty to be affirmed, adored and appreciated through sending HIS chosen spouse for us. And this means each of our individual beauty and unique physicalities (even if YOU think is unfavorable) may be one of the factors that will make your spouses head turn towards YOU.

    Hope you are blessed by this. It is true. God is full of compassion and mercy, and is loving towards ALL he has made. Psalm 145:9
    Just a girl
    Tough
    on Wednesday, January 30, 2013 at 11:31 pm
    Thanks for this.. Feeling lower then low tonight on the fat scale... I know God loves me because He choose me to be in His family.. It's just hard realizing He made me the way He wants me. I never feel good enough.. Skinny enough.. Or pretty enough... The 1 Samuel verse made me cry just because I never really thought about it... Thank you

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