Marriage Advice from the Pros

I’m so excited to introduce to you a thirty-four-year-old love story. This couple is very special to me because they happen to be my parents.

Meet Mike (my dad) and Heidi (my mom). With more than three decades of marriage experience, this amazing couple has been an example of love, faithfulness, and commitment. I’m offering you a front-row seat to the insights of a couple who have stood the test of time.

Q: Give us a quick introduction of yourselves. How did you meet? How long have you been married?

A: My beautiful bride, Heidi, and I met thirty-seven years ago at Florida Bible College over appetizers at the freshman welcome party. We had a lot in common. (We were both really tall!) But we also had a love for children’s ministry and foreign missions. We struck up a sweet friendship, studied together, and served in ministry together. Needless to say, we were soon engaged and married a year later.

God is always gracious and merciful to see us through in spite of our prideful hearts.

Our mutual love for God and children’s ministry continued into our marriage. We moved to San Antonio and served in ministry together as husband and wife, which was an incredible unifying part of our marriage.

We also started a business together, which was sweet. We spent a lot of time together working side by side. Soon, God began to bless us with children. We had nine children in eighteen years.

We will be married for thirty-five years this December and truly count every year a sweet blessing.

Was every year perfect? The answer is of course “no.” There were times we found ourselves on our knees praying through some pretty stressful stuff. Unfortunately, many times we were too prideful to seek answers through wise counsel. But through it all, in spite of our prideful hearts, God has been so gracious to us in many, many ways.

Q: If you could go back in time and give your newlywed selves advice, what would you say?

A: If we could go back and counsel the newlywed Mike and Heidi, we would definitely tell them to seek out an older, wiser couple to give them some much-needed guidance and wisdom, such as:

  • How to communicate better with each other in every area.
  • Never ignore problems. Get them out and discussed ASAP.
  • How to ask for forgiveness. Plus choose to forgive often.
  • How to serve one another more humbly.
  • How to meet the other’s needs more effectively.
  • How to seek to proactively praise and encourage one another.

Q: How can single people best prepare for marriage?

A: Having a godly mentor, whether you’re single or married, is one of the most important things you can do. We were too prideful many times throughout our marriage to humbly seek advice, just assuming we could figure it on our own. How many roadblocks could have been avoided had we sought godly advice in those early years? But again, God is always gracious and merciful to see us through in spite of our prideful hearts.

He is the perfect picture of pure, unconditional love.

Single or married, we all need to seek out guidance from older, wiser, godly folks.

Single or married, we all need to seek out guidance from older, wiser, godly folks. God did not intend for any of us to do life alone. As a single person, you can seek out an older, wiser married couple now to begin forming good ideas for what married life should look like. Ask questions, spend time in their home, observe how they communicate and how they seek to love one another.

Heidi and I have such a deep and abiding love for each other and seek to serve one another and be a true blessing in each other’s lives.

Love is a choice, not a feeling!

We are blessed to be lifelong best friends, sweet and loving husband and wife, father and mother to our precious and amazing children, their sweet spouses, and our adorable grandchildren.

We truly are blessed beyond measure and look forward to growing old together, serving and honoring one another and bringing glory to God through it all.

Thanks so much Mom and Dad for sharing with us!

I’m so grateful for my parents’ willingness to answer a few questions about their marriage. I would love to hear your practical takeaways.

In what ways can you better prepare for marriage as a single woman?
Did they say anything in particular that stood out to you?
Whom do you look to as an example of godly marriage? Tell me about them below.

About Author

Bethany Baird

After a brief experience in the modeling industry, Bethany’s eyes were opened to how self-absorbed and lost her generation of young women really are. She and her older sister were inspired to start a blog (www.GirlDefined.com) and wrote a book Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity and Identity. Their passion is to help young women find God’s truth about beauty and womanhood and the freedom that comes from living a radically different life for Christ.

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate. We may edit or remove your comment if it:

  • * Requests or gives personal information such as email address, address, or phone number.
  • * Attacks other readers.
  • * Uses vulgar or profane language.
  • Natalie

    I definitely need to work on conveying my true emotions when asked. It’s far easier for me to smile and put my friends at ease rather than addressing the problem head on. It always seems to come up in an uglier manner at a later time anyhow. I’d like to be good at that before marrying.

    What stuck out to me was the line, “Love is a choice, not a feeling!”. It’s such a powerful, radical thought that most of my non-believing friends dispute. They push the idea that love is an insane, fully uncontrollable phenomenon which renders us powerless in its grasp. When the feelings are gone, they say that their love simply disappeared. By believing this, they remove all sense of personal responsibility. What we believe however, requires far more work.

    My parents mirror this concept in their marriage. They met on a missions ship 28 years ago and have been married for 26. They’ve both confided in me apart from the other that they’re more in love now than when they got married. Coming from different cultures and upbringings, they’ve had more than their share of issues, but by God’s grace, the struggles have brought them closer together. Of all the lovey-dovey marriage verses one could chose from, they chose Ephesians 4:32. When I was quite little, I asked to see their wedding rings and as I held them in my hand, the tiny letters “Eph. 4:32” engraved inside the bands caught my eye. My dad smiled at me and said that the secret to a happy marriage is found in that verse. I think he’s right.

  • Heidi E.

    I really like your mom’s name. 🙂