Not What I Was Expecting

Last summer I desperately wanted to have a boyfriend. I wanted to be swept off my feet and fall hopelessly in love. There was a boy I had my eye on, but I just wasn’t on his radar. I spent hours wondering what I was doing wrong. Wasn’t I pretty enough? Wasn’t I godly enough? Smart enough?  

As the summer wore on, a lady in my church (ironically the mother of the boy I had a crush on) asked my friends and me to do a Bible study about waiting on God’s timing for your prince and falling in love with God instead of a man. I found myself smiling at God’s sense of humor. As we studied, I learned to be content in my walk with Christ and find my worth in Him instead of a guy. I realized that even if I had been dating, the holes in my heart wouldn’t have been filled. A boy would never make me feel like I was enough. I would always fall short—unless my worth wasn’t found in a human. God was the only one who would never let me down, never change His mind about me, and would think I was beautiful no matter what my hair looked like.

As I started my second year of college that fall, I had several boys ask me out on dates, and while I did accept some of their offers, my heart wasn’t longing for it like before. I had suddenly found a love affair that was way better than any that a man could give me. Then God did something new in my love life that was totally unexpected.

I met him the first weekend of my sophomore year. We worked together in the dorms. When I met him, he was screaming profanity at me—a training tool to help prepare us in case that ever happened in the hall. That was my only impression of him for about two months. Then I noticed him at my church. (I remember being surprised that I had never noticed him there before.) He approached me and let me know he was the assistant youth pastor and that they needed more female leaders in the youth group. He asked if I would be interested, which I was (junior high girls are one of my passions). We decided to meet for coffee to discuss how I could get plugged in. The only problem was—he never showed up. I waited an hour and a half before leaving. Needless to say, I wasn’t too impressed with John at this point. For the record, he later made it up to me, buying me coffee and apologizing for sleeping through his alarm due to a 2:00 a.m. fire drill the previous night.

I remember sitting there with him and telling him my whole life story and thinking, "I can’t believe I just told him all of that." I felt so comfortable with him, and it was so easy to talk to him. I thought about it for days after. Well as the year went on, I continued to help at youth group and get to know him. But I never really thought anything would come of it.

About midway through the year, another guy named Devin began to pursue me. He met my family and I met his. He was really fun and hilarious, yet something was off. I had my heart set on being in ministry someday, and he didn’t. I battled back and forth between knowing if I was really in God’s will in this relationship. After about two months of dating him on and off, I began to seriously pray that God would show me if I should continue seeing him.

It was about that time that John asked me to meet for coffee to talk about some ideas for Sunday school. After talking about Sunday school, his face got serious. "There is something else I want to talk to you about … and it has the potential of being really awkward. I like you, and I want to pursue you. I just heard you are dating Devin. I felt that it would be a mistake for me not to tell you how I felt, however. I was wondering if you would take a week and pray about it, and think about if you really are supposed to be with him or not. We can meet back here at the same time next week to talk."

What was God up to? You’ll have to hop back on the blog tomorrow for the rest of the story, but in the meantime, I’d love to hear from you.

Has God done something unexpected in your love life? Has He asked you to wait when you’d rather been dating or dropped a great guy in your lap when you least expected it? Leave us a comment and tell us about it.

Note: This post was written by guest blogger, Ashley Mazelin.

About Author

Guest Blogger

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate. We may edit or remove your comment if it:

  • * Requests or gives personal information such as email address, address, or phone number.
  • * Attacks other readers.
  • * Uses vulgar or profane language.