One Guy Answers Questions on Dating

Love is in the air. If the month of February had to be described in emojis, we’d pick anything involving hearts and flowers, right?

Since love and romance are on our minds right now (and since I’m the only male member of this blog team!), I thought I’d answer a few questions about love and relationships from a guy’s perspective.

Before we dive in, let me ask you to take these answers with a grain of salt (or a few grains of salt). Some of this is simply from my experience or perspective, and the answer might change if you asked another guy. If you disagree with something, that’s okay. Unless it’s Scripture. You can take that to the bank!

Question 1: Why should I date a godly guy?

Whew. Where do I start?

Maybe you’ve heard Paul’s words to believers in 2 Corinthians 6:14: “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”

One of the goals of marriage is to draw each other closer to Christ. How can an unbeliever be a part of that if he hasn’t met Christ himself? An unbeliever’s priorities are also going to be different than yours. No matter how much he serves, loves his family, or says that he loves you, his number one priority won’t ever be Christ. It can’t be if he doesn’t know Him.

As a Christian, Christ is our number one priority. We need to only link (or “yoke”) our lives closely with those with that same priority.

Q: What qualities in a girl are noticeable to a guy?

There are some qualities that any godly guy should be attracted to. Qualities like:

  • A good relationship with the Lord.
  • Loving others.
  • Humility.

If we look at Titus 2, the entire chapter is filled with great qualities that a guy should look for in a girl (and that you should look for in a guy).

In addition to what I mentioned above, for me humor is key. I figure, life’s not easy, and if we can find something to laugh about together, that’s going to help us get through so much.

Another quality that I find attractive is the ability to carry on a conversation. I’ve met so many people who don’t know how to have an intelligent conversation. I think we can all be improving in this area. (I’m definitely not perfect at it!) Finally, I find someone incredibly attractive who’s unashamed to be themselves. They don’t try to define themselves by others’ opinions of them; they’re comfortable in their own skin.

Q: Are guys as anxious about dating as girls are?

I think it depends on the guy. If a guy can rest in the Lord about the future, knowing that his future is already planned out and that God has his best in mind, then there shouldn’t be too much frantic worrying about “who should I date?!” This doesn’t mean that a guy won’t ever worry about dating. I would imagine all of us have some concern/worry in that area. But there’s a verse in 1 Peter 5:7 that reminds us that instead of worrying, we should cast our anxieties on Jesus. Why? “Because he cares for you.”

Are you tempted to worry about dating? Give it to the Lord, and trust in His plan. You’re not looking for a perfect guy (there’s no such thing!), but one who knows where to go when he’s tempted, tried, confused, or anxious: He goes to the Lord.

The Most Important Thing

I hope this peek inside my brain has given you a little bit of insight into one guy’s perspective on dating. The most important thing to do in any relationship is to keep the Lord at the center of everything. Do that, and everything else will fall into its right place.

I’m wondering:

  • What quality (or qualities) do you find most attractive in a guy?
  • How is the world’s view of love and romance different from the Bible’s view of love and romance?

If you have any questions that you want to see addressed in an upcoming blog, write them in a comment below and I’ll do my best to answer them soon!

PS: Here’s another reason to share your questions with us. We’re giving away a copy of the new Lies Young Women Believe with each post this month. Leave a comment for your chance to win.

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About Author

Beecher Proch

Beecher Proch calls the Hill Country of Texas home. When he’s not writing, performing with his three siblings in their band, or attempting to get a smile out of someone, you’ll probably find him working on a new entrepreneurial venture. Beecher is passionate about influencing the world for Christ’s Kingdom through stories, be that blogging, writing meaningful music, or going about it the old-fashioned way and taking a pen to the page.

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate. We may edit or remove your comment if it:

  • * Requests or gives personal information such as email address, address, or phone number.
  • * Attacks other readers.
  • * Uses vulgar or profane language.
  • ChristIlove

    I haven’t start dating yet and I am only allowed to when I am done school. I want to be friends with the boys but then everybody is like are you like him.

  • What I look for in a guy: 1) God is his top priority 2) He goes to church as regularly as he can 3) How he treats other people 4) His standards are similar to mine 5) His manners, and behaviors 6) Can make me laugh 7) He has to be kind.

    The worlds standards on dating is entirely distorted, with people having these relationships mainly for their own pleasure. God wants our relationships to honor and glorify Him for HIS pleasure. God wants us to date with our goals of being marriage, unlike some worldly relationships.

    Btw, Loved this post so much! THANK YOU BEECHER! The world needs to see this blog x

  • I absolutely loved the end I part “The most important thing to do in any relationship is to keep the Lord at the center of everything. Do that, and everything will fall into its right place.”

  • Tera V.

    These are the qualities I find attractive: 1. He is a spiritual leader. 2. He pushes people to help them further their relationship with Christ. 3. He is humble. 4. He treats everyone with respect and dignity. 5. He not only respects other people’s convictions, but he has some of his own.

  • Jessica

    This is super encouraging! Thanks!! It’s really helpful to have a guy’s perspective on this.

  • Brynna Rice

    I am not looking to date anyone yet, as I will only do so when ready for marriage. Right now I’m just 17. But some things that I find admirable in a young man are that: he loves and seeks God above all else; he is humble; his Christian walk is strong; and you can tell he cares about others by the way he lives.

    This blog post was wonderful. It is nice to have another perspective sometimes.

  • Maya

    Thank you for this post. Some qualities that I find most attractive in a guy are when a guy has his own real relationship with God, is encouraging and Christ-like, and has a sense of humor. The Bible’s view of love and romance is to prepare us to love and live for eternity, not just the here and now.

  • Denise Frausto

    Thanks so much for this! I think it’s very important for a guy to have a relationship with God first before he decides to marry someone. It also applies to us women as well. We need to have that strong relationship with God first before we go out and find our future husband. We also need to trust in HIM!

  • Eve

    Thank you for such a wonderful post! You remaind me (again) how important it is to respect yourself and to first find your worth in God.

  • Sabrina R

    After him being devoted to God, I think another extremely important quality I like to look for in a guy is the quality of being educated. I think that this quality is so overlooked when girls get into a relationship with a guy! Many guys nowadays are so uneducated and don’t keep education at a high standard… I’m only 16, but that’s one of the reasons I’m abstaining from having a crush on someone or being in a relationship with someone! Most guys still have a long way to mature and I feel that my time and my emotions are better spent on my education and most importantly, my relationship with God! Thank you for this post! ❤️

    • Jane

      I think that you are right. I am in college right now and there are a lot of guys at my college who are still immature. I do not want to sound like I am on a high horse here and will call everyone immature who does not measure up to a high standard (if I am completely honest I still really immature). In fact, I am totally alright with immaturity when it is done right. I do have problems when guys are immature in their important life choices or when do not really care about other people. I dont even know if this makes any sense. But I do agree with you.

    • Catalina B

      Definitely! And if God hasn’t specifically pointed you towards marriage in the near future, there’s no need to hasten towards dating and relationships. Being in college and preparing for the future takes a lot of energy and commitment, and it’s very hard to be serious about education if you’re double-minded and trying to focus on getting married or starting a relationship at the same time as school. It’s so important for us girls and young women to be confident in who we are in the Lord and who we are as individuals before we try to get into relationships with other people who are trying to figure out the same thing!

  • Claire Bear

    Thank you thank you thank you Beecher!!! I love this article! I have been wondering what qualities godly guys like about girls!! This spoke to me today. The qualities I find most attractive in guys are probably humility and consistency around others. Thank you for this blessing today!!!!

    <3 Claire Bear

  • Bree Smith

    In a guy, I look for:
    Godly character, good relationships with his family/friends, kindness, similar interests, and definitely a sense of humor!
    Another question for you – what qualities, behaviors, etc. would cause you to avoid a girl?

  • Ally

    Like he said, it’s important to be comfortable in your own skin

  • moviemary

    Well, for me of course the man who love God and man that know his barrier when he interact with another opposite gender. I appreciate if a guy not easily lay their hand on my shoulder or tap me on my hand, I truly appreciate it. It show how manner and respect he is towards woman.
    World truly have different view on love. You know like some people willingly to sacrifice God for love to be someone who opposite to their faith. Sadly enough, some know God yet sacrifice their faith for love then again trying to came back to their origin faith which they know impossible in the first place. It sadden me thou. How can they make such decision? What are they thinking about putting God like a “statue” that they can move according to their hand? they should know better the impact, but they just dont care.

  • DeJama

    Great read!!

  • De’Jama Didi

    Really enjoyed this article 😊

  • Denysha Mathias-Harewood

    Truly enjoyed this!!

  • Proverbs 31 girl in Training

    For me, it is extremely attractive when a man take leadership in the church, has a heart for kids, and is compassionate to everyone. There is a really good book I read a few years ago called Sex, Love, and Romance as part of my home school that basically was a completely biblically based sex ed book. It was so different from what I’ve heard happen in schools today and how many people view dating, relationships, sex, and more. It was really a neat book that showed God’s design for relationships.

  • Sarah

    Being in a relationship, I have to say humility! It is so much more attractive than anything. True humility before God.

  • rebeccavanmiddelkoop

    For me, I love seeing guys helping out others and seeing them with young children. It melts my heart! ♥♥♥

  • Duskflower

    Ah, another one of the gems from my most favorite guy on the LYWB blog (hehe). Nice to know that intelligent conversation is indeed valued, I’m quite fond of it too.

  • Hadley

    I think one thing that really gets overlooked when girls are looking for future husbands is respect. That is definitely one character quality that can be found in a true Christian guy.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you for this blog.
    I look at where I see this man’s heart stands with God, where his heart & relationship is with his parents, what he does in his free time, & etc. Let God be the Leader.

  • Karen Elaine Fulmer

    I have just a couple questions. 1. What happens if a guy is a couple years older than you? (and I don’t mean that you’re dating him, but you like him.) Do you try to be mindful of that or still just act like you’re on the same level. Thanks!

  • Mandi Lehman

    I notice that you talked about not dating an unrelieved however does it matter if the guy you are dating cares less about their faith than you? Or that they are struggling much more in their relationship with Christ than you are?

  • Maria-Simona C.

    I find a kind heart, a good sense of humor, patience, strong work ethic, and (most importantly) a heart that pursues the Lord relentlessly very admirable in a young man.

    • Evenstar

      One hundred percent agree with all you said Maria!
      Also, is it wrong to add handsome to the list?

      • Maria-Simona C.

        Haha! Don’t be ashamed if you mentally want to add “handsome” to the list–it just means you’re human 🙂 Everyone wants a significant other that they find attractive.
        Just make sure that good-looks aren’t what you’re focused on, because beauty eventually fades away. Focus on finding the lovely inner qualities of a good Christian guy (like the ones listed above), and on building your relationship on the foundations of your mutual faith in Christ. And as you fall in love with each other’s inner qualities, whatever you both look like on the outside will become more and more attractive to each other.


        • Evenstar

          Thanks Maria! I always need reminders like that 🙂

          Yeah, my dad always stresses all the points you just said and I am SO grateful he does or I would probably be carried away and agree with what the world thinks love is.

          Love this blog, I can get advice and reply to other like-minded sisters!

  • Rachel Lee

    The most attractive thing i find in a guy is that he is very good with people, meaning he knows how to build relationships and isn’t shy to do that. I love it when he’s outgoing and can connect with people. The world’s view and the Bible’s view of romance are very different because the world thinks romance is like in the movies where everything falls into place and is perfect. But the Bible says that love is far more than what you want and that it’s sacrifice.

  • Emily Boulo

    I think this was a great post!!! Some things that I think are great to look for in a guy is someone who is a true Christian, is trustworthy, hardworking, humble, and kind. And lastly, someone who has love in their heart for me, others, and most importantly, our LORD Jesus Christ.

  • Brenda

    Great article. Great to see it from a guy’s perspective.

  • Paige

    Qualities that I find attractive in a guy: a deep love for Jesus; a good conversationalist; pure speech; humbleness; leadership; diligence.

  • Loved

    One of the most important things to me is how he treats others, because if he treats you really sweet, but is rude to others, it won’t be forever before he starts treating you like he treats others. the world is different in its view of what love is. Check out 1 Corinthians 13 to see what I mean.

  • Hannah B

    Oh it makes me sooo happy when you do posts like these.😁
    Things I attractive is humbleness, gentleness, respect, discipline, and leadership, though those are only a few qualities.
    The way the world handles romance and love really disgusts me.
    The Bible shows it as a self sacrificing ( from both ends) and unified and lasting action.

  • Melanie

    Some qualities in a guy I find attractive in a guy are 1. he is honest , 2. outgoing and good at carrying on a conversation, 3. has a good sense of humor, and 4. he is gentle with his words and not critical .

  • Bliss

    Loves the Lord, stands for what is right (and is unashamed of standing alone for right) is honest but also kind (Ephesians 4:15), bases his thoughts and opinions on scripture, patient, has a sense of humor, can carry on a conversation well and has a strong work ethic.
    The world presents “love” as what you can get, what someone can do for you, and is based (or caused) almost entirely upon feelings/emotion where the Biblical view is (shortly) self sacrifice and service, the ultimate example of which is Christ.

  • Erika

    Thanks for this post, Beecher! It was very interesting/insighting to read!

  • Emma Denney

    I’ve been praying for a guy who is humble, has a 1 Corinthians 13 love, is filled with the fruit of the spirit, is pure, growing in his faith and above all is Christ-centred.

    I find that the world’s view of love is very outward based. But a christian’s view is inward based. meaning it is about their heart.

  • LexingtonS

    Some traits that I am looking for in a guy are that he is striving to keep Christ at the center of his life, have a genuine love for people, be joyful in all circumstances, want to raise a family, and love me for who I am not who he wants me to be. Lately, I have felt called to raise a family and have been praying that God will send me a man to lead me and our potential family spiritually and in the example he sets. ❤ thanks for this great post!!

  • Lois

    Thanks for the post Beecher! If I ever get married, I definitely want a guy with a sense of humor (legit funny humor, not just a guy who tries to be funny but who actually is – in my opinion). But of course that is not at the top of my list. 🙂

  • MidnightCity

    Thank you for this post!

  • genesis herrera

    I agree with all of these things up above. Something I find attractive in a guy is when he’s not awkward about praising the Lord in public. Even if no one’s hands are up but his are extended high, I’m challenged by that. I tend to care a lot about what people think so my hands are barely even lifted. So when I see a guy (especially a teenager!) having his arms all the way extended, it challenges me to dive further into God when I’m afraid to be made fun of or to even let myself be vulnerable. Another things is when they praise God outside of church as well. They aren’t putting on a show at church and then ignoring God the rest of the week. But those who actually read and apply the Bible outside of youth and church impress me. Especially when you can see a bit of Jesus in their character. 🙂

    • Tabitha Chen

      I totally agree!

    • twahafifwa kakololo

      I can also relate to some of the things you said. And I feel so guilty because being afraid of praising God is like denying him

      • genesis herrera

        i so feel you on this. but i love it when guys don’t care and just go for God. it challenges me to praise him as well and makes me feel less awkward if im being honest haha 😀
        also I have a blog if you’d like to check it out sometime called and i post every wednesday. Hope u subscirbe! 🙂

        • twahafifwa kakololo

          Thank you for this post(the cost of your crown), I have been in self doubt for a long time. As someone only starting to truly get to know GOD recently, I have been having alot of questions as to how I should be as a believer and GOD answered me through you. Stay Blessed

          • genesis herrera

            OMG YAY!! You are so welcome! I’m glad you liked the blog post and I’m so so SO glad it gave you some insight. It’s easy to get caught up in the lie of having to reach the “Perfect Christian Girl” standard. I still struggle with this as well, but telling yourself truth that God doesn’t expect you to be perfect really does help. God Bless you too hun! A new blog post will be coming in this Wednesday if you ever wanna stay tuned and read it. 🙂

  • Christina Snyder

    This is very helpful!

  • Carrie-Grace

    This was so interesting to read! I think one of my favorite qualities in a guy is gentleness.

  • Leah

    Some things I would want in my future husband would be honesty and humility, as well as loyalty.

  • Renee

    Thank you Lies Young Women Believe for the article!

  • Kelly Smith Overstreet

    Humility and integrity is the two most attractive things to me. If he will follow through with what he says or admit when he can’t, then he is a keeper.

  • Beecher Proch

    Thanks for your great comments everyone! I love what you have to say and reading your thoughts!

  • Thanks for your comments everyone! I love hearing about what you like in a guy and your thoughts on this!

  • Shah

    The most important quality I want in my future husband is dedication and service to Christ.Other things I find attractive are sense of humour, love for adventure, ability to hold an intelligent conversation, kind(and not just to me), since I am introverted, I want a guy who is outgoing (to complement my introversion) but understands the importance of alone time, space and privacy to me.

  • Maddie Rouse

    What happens if the person you truly click with is an atheist? Do you try to show him the way of the lord?