The One Thing You Need Most in a Future Husband

The moment his piercing blue eyes glanced in my direction, my heart melted into a pile of serious infatuation. This guy was everything I’d ever dreamed of and then some. Did I mention he was handsome with an extra dose of Hollywood swag?

I pictured the two of us happily married and imagined myself as the luckiest girl on planet earth. My entire future happiness and imaginary marital bliss was being based off one thing—my physical attraction to “Mr. Hollywood” himself. I knew nothing (literally nothing) about this guy, except for how he looked.

To make a long story short, I met and got to know Mr. Hollywood, and the two of us developed a serious case of mutual infatuation.

We chatted on and off for more than a year. He lived far away. With so much distance between us, the infatuation slowly started to wear off. We each moved on to more local possibilities and eventually stopped communicating altogether.

Looking back on that fling, I can see I was acting like the epitome of a girl raised in The Bachelor generation. We are a generation who often believes that “true love” is totally based off of emotions and feelings and relationships last only as long as there’s a spark.

Despite the fact that infatuation is fun, emotionally thrilling, and temporality satisfying, it’s not as good as God’s plan for lasting commitment. Lasting love, committed relationships, and long-term satisfaction is something we struggle to figure out. Instead of rethinking our failed romance system, we keep plunging forward in hopes that somehow we will stumble upon success.

We Need a Better Plan

Over the years, I’ve realized that culture doesn’t have this romance thing figured out. Feelings and emotions can only take us so far. Piercing blue eyes and Hollywood swag can only last so long. We need a better plan.

Instead of listening to romance advice from movies, music, celebrities, magazines, or social media, let’s turn to the Creator of romance Himself. God’s recommendation for lasting, thriving, satisfying love is so simple. His ideas are radically different from culture’s. They are unique, uncommon, unpopular, and guess what? They work!

What is the most important quality to look for in a man if we want love to last? Ready for it? Drumroll, please . . .

We need a man who fears the Lord.

Although it may sound way too simple, God’s Word is clear. Commitment to God and His Word is the most important quality to look for.

We don’t need a smokin’ hot guy.
We don’t need him to have bulging biceps.
We don’t need him to have piercing blue eyes.
We don’t need him to have Hollywood swag.

We do need a man who will humble himself before God and diligently seek Him.
We do need a man who loves God and desires to serve Him.
We do need a man who worships his Creator.
We do need a man whose Bible is his lifeline.
We do need a man who will take us to the Word and study it with us.
We do need a man who has a growing relationship with God.

A Mental Switch

This blog was inspired by Proverbs 31:30. It says, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

Instead of just thinking about this verse with women in mind, let’s switch out the words and think about it with guys in mind. It might read like this:

Flirty words are deceitful, and smokin’ hot bodies are vain, but a man who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Can you even imagine how different things would be if girls seriously prayed for and waited for a man who fears the Lord? Can you even imagine if People changed their magazine issue “100 Hottest People” to “100 People Who Seriously Fear God”?

I am challenging each one of you to stop and seriously consider the type of guy you find most attractive. Is it the guy with the smooth words? The guy with the flirtatious actions? The guy with the muscles? The guy all the girls think is cute? The guy who makes you feel something?

Instead, my prayer is that each one of us will grow a deep desire for a man who seriously fears the Lord instead of focusing on these qualities that cannot secure lasting love.

This is the type of man that I desperately desire. I know that life will be hard at times. I know I won’t always have the spark or the feelings. I know challenges will come my way. And in those times, I want to be with a man who will seek the Lord for wisdom. Don’t you?

A Single Girl’s Prayer

I want to end with a prayer. I encourage you to pray this prayer and make it your own. Ask God to make this your heart’s desire.

Dear God,

I am so grateful for Your love and kindness in my life. I am so thankful that You truly do have the answers to lasting love. Please help me to align my perspective toward guys with Yours. Help me to desperately long for a man who fears the Lord. Help me to see the priceless value in a man who does. And I ask that You make me that kind of woman. Make me a woman who fears You and loves You with all that I am. Please give me patience as I wait for my future husband. Help me to be faithful and productive in this season. I love You and am so grateful for Your love for me.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

About Author

Bethany Baird

After a brief experience in the modeling industry, Bethany’s eyes were opened to how self-absorbed and lost her generation of young women really are. She and her older sister were inspired to start a blog (www.GirlDefined.com) and wrote a book Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity and Identity. Their passion is to help young women find God’s truth about beauty and womanhood and the freedom that comes from living a radically different life for Christ.

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  • Barbara le Roux

    Lovely post and so true! What truly matters in a future husband is really something I have been pondering in the past week or so, so it wonderful to get such a clear “answer” 🙂

  • Andro

    Thank you Bethany for this post. I will meditate on that prayer from now and always

  • ChristianGirl

    Love this post! The type of guys we need are very rare. I know only a few. I’ve still to meet a guy who doesn’t date around and is committed to waiting.

  • Aimee

    How encouraging this is! Thank you, Bethany, for sharing His truth. I too love the prayer and will keep it close. Many blessings to you.

  • Bethany Ho

    This is a great post that emphasizes a guy’s faith over other alluring traits. But one thing that I would like to note is that we should never “desperately desire” or “desperately long” for any guy, God-fearing or not. We should desperately long and desire for Christ himself. I’ve struggled with this for a while but recently come to the conclusion that it is so much more important and rewarding to focus our eyes on Christ.

  • Magdiel De Salas

    Ufff! SO TRUE!
    Thank you so much. May we see what God sees on a man.
    I seriously prayed this prayer. May the Lord bless you.

  • Guitar Girl

    So is it bad to want a husband who has muscles? To me, that signifies that he is a good steward of what God has given him.

    • Sydney

      It’s not wrong to like a guy with muscles or be more attracted to guys with muscles–just as long as that’s not why you’re interested. Make sure you’re looking for a guy who fears the Lord first–appreciating the muscles comes later. 🙂

    • Muscles would probably fall into the lines of “external beauty” for a guy. While they are nice, solid godly character qualities are much more valuable in a husband.