What Rejection Doesn’t Mean

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Perhaps there are some of you who will be showered with roses, buried in chocolates, and bombarded with affection today. Swoon! There’s no use pretending that romantic love isn’t amazing. It is one of the best gifts God has designed for His children.

But some of you will be forced to spend this romantic day without romance. For you, this date on the calendar may feel like it needs to be rebranded as National Rejection Day.

Whether your love walked away or never noticed you to begin with, the end result is a feeling of rejection.

Rejection is lots of things. It’s disappointing. It’s painful. It’s hard to get over. But sometimes the enemy uses rejection like a balloon animal, shaping and twisting it into an even bigger monster. That’s why when we face rejection, we need God’s truth. Here are three things rejection isn’t.

1. Rejection isn’t proof that you’re unloveable.

Don’t let one person’s opinion of you warp the truth. You are deeply loved. There are no candy hearts or Hallmark cards that can make statements as powerful and profound as these.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (Eph. 2:4–5).

“The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing” (Zeph. 3:17).

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you” (Jer. 31:3).

Perhaps the object of your human affection doesn’t feel the same about you. That doesn’t mean that no one ever will. Since the beginning of time, God has declared His everlasting, steadfast love and commitment to you. You have proof that you are loveable because you are so deeply loved.

2. Rejection isn’t unique to you.

Today, as you look around, you will see couples everywhere. It may feel like the whole world has found love except you, like you’re the only one dealing with rejection on this day designated to warm fuzzies. That can lead to a pity party with a capital P. But the truth is when you face rejection, you’re in the best of company. God’s Word describes Jesus as “a living stone rejected by men” (1 Peter 2:4) and reminds us He was “despised and rejected by men” (Isa. 53:3).

That rejection you’re feeling today, He felt it, too. He chose to suffer in that way so that you and I would not ultimately be rejected. Which is why . . .

3. Rejection is not forever.

Because of the cross, the Father has not rejected you, but has welcomed you into the family of God.

You may continue to face romantic rejection. Even after marriage, the object of our affection won’t always see things our way or look at us through the eyes of love. But that doesn’t mean that true acceptance is as unlikely as finding a sale on roses on Valentine’s Day. You’re already accepted. Because of the cross, the Father has not rejected you, but has welcomed you into the family of God.

Go on and bust out the heart eye emojis. This is the best love news you’ll ever hear.

And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him (Col. 1:21–22).

A Valentine’s Day Challenge

Yes, rejection stings. There’s no sense pretending that it doesn’t. But if you’re feeling rejected today, don’t let that balloon into something it isn’t. You are loved. You are accepted. You are in good company.

So now what? Here is a Valentine’s Day Challenge for you.

Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God (Rom. 15:7).

Instead of responding to rejection by withdrawing, reach out. Find someone else who might be hurting today and seize this opportunity to share Christ’s love.

I’d love to hear about it in the comment section below.

About Author

Erin Davis

Erin is passionate about pointing young women toward God's Truth. She is the author of several books and a frequent speaker and blogger to women of all ages. Erin lives on a small farm in the midwest with her husband and kids. When she's not writing, you can find her herding goats, chickens, and children.

HEY, GIRLS! We love hearing from you, but feel limited in the ways we can help. For one thing, we’re not trained counselors. If you’re seeking counsel, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or a godly woman in your life as they’ll know more details and can provide you with ongoing accountability and help. Also, the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate. We may edit or remove your comment if it:

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  • Ruth

    That was Awsome I’m going to share this on Twitter !!!😍😍😍😍😍😍

  • Hollybell MN

    I find this extremely hypocritical especially coming from a woman who going home each night to a husband who loves her. The Lord loves me? Really? God loves Charles Manson too. Not much of a consolation prize. He loves the people on their way to hell too. No comfort with thsee words. As a matter of fact, I’m sick of words, hope and nothing in my hands but peace, hope and words. Doesn’t pay the light bill or fill the cupboards.
    Did he or anyone from the church help me when my husband took off and I needed yo go to work 10pm to 7am so I could buy food and provide a place to live with a newborn and a 5 yr old? Did any of them even show the slightest bit of christian charity and let my sons sleep over night so I could go to work? No. So I lost my job and home. Where was God then? Where was he when I had a junky loud car trying to pay for christian school and the kids at the school made fun of my car. None of those families or men offered to help. I waited an extra 30 or 40 min until the parking cleared so I could start my car snd no one would see or hear it because the charming christian kids made comments to my son about our crappy car. Don’t make me more angry with your stupid, ignorant answers. You have no answers and spouting more scripture references with no real practical provision just makes me sick to my stomach. Nothing more than the word where it says people say well God bless you stay warm and don’t do anything to really supply a need is faith without works snd no real love at all. I guess that other verse where Jesus says, “when I was hungry, you gave me no bread, when I was sick and in prison you refused to visit me.” Go away from me I never knew you, or you didn’t obey me applies well here. All I know is given the cappy set of circumstances I’ve lived in, I would not consider walking by some kid in a dirty, torn coat, I feel compelled to by for them the SAME QUALITY as I do for myself or my own. Pay for tutoring snd let the kid eat at my house and babysit with out charging the single mom a cent or treating them like a bother like I was treated, even though I was trying to go to work and the kids were sleeping the whole night thtough. I would not give them my cast offs and give to the Lord something that costs me nothing. I kind of hope hardship and persecution and genuine heartbreak comes to you prople. Some with be purified and their faith proven genuine. Others, exposed as frauds and nothing more than a tare among the wheat.

    • Net

      You do realise that by wishing those fates on others you are inherently sinning against the Lord?

      Matthew 7:12 says : “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”

      Jesus never wished hardship and persecution to those that put him on the cross. In fact he prayed FOR them.

      Does the fact that the Lord loves you mean nothing to you? Does the fact that he loves “people going to hell” make His love any less worthy of your praise?

      You clicked on an ARTICLE. An ONLINE ARTICLE that can only be composed of WORDS. WORDS that were written to provide PEACE and HOPE to readers. What else did you expect when you came here? No one here knew of your circumstances prior to your commenting. Therefore no one could actually help you, because you didn’t give anyone a chance. What do you want answers for? No one owes anyone answers to anything. This article was not written to provide practical help for rejection. It is to give us hope that rejection is not all there is to life, even though at the moment it seems to consume us.

      Your sacrifices have been amazing, and your resilience is admirable. The way that a single mother can carry on with her life when her circumstances demand that she crumble is inspiring and worthy of praise. But you must understand that spreading bitterness to others because of the heaviness of your own load is not the way to lighten it. Young girls come here to read this article and may become discouraged by your harsh words. You lead them to think that God does not look upon people with your circumstances, and if so why would He look upon theirs?

      No one can understand the full severity of your hardships, except Jesus. Did He not come as a human so that He could understand us? He can help you, only if you give Him a chance. Just like the people around you, in your community. Have you ever given them a chance to ask how you are, whether you need help? Or are you so wearied by your burdens that you label everyone as cold and uncaring, because you were actually pushing them away? Have you yourself ever reached out to the local church or welfare organization? Were you expecting people to come to you first, only to become disappointed by them when no one did?

      Everyone goes through hardships, but I have experienced time and time again, that the Lord Himself brings me through every trial, that worrying and lashing out in bitterness is worth nothing. He helps me, only if I give Him a chance and trust him FULLY. And I know the people around you are willing to do so, too, only if you let them.

      Are you willing to give them a chance?

      • Hollybell MN

        Thete always seams to be someone like you who doesn’t quite understand what is said and has to come back with a reply like this .

        • erinleedavis

          Hi Net and Hollybell,

          Erin Davis here, the author of this post and manager of this site. It seems Hollybell’s original comment is missing, so I don’t have the full picture of what has transpired here, I just want to jump in and remind you both of our expectation that you treat each other (and all readers) with respect. You are welcome to disagree, in fact we encourage dialogue here, but love each other well in the process. I am always proud of how the readers of this blog are able to engage with kindness and respect even on tough issues.

          Grace & Peace!


          • Carrie @ Revive Our Hearts

            Wow! Thanks for jumping in…

  • Lexi

    I’ve seen so much love and wisdom down here in the comments section (at least on other posts), so I figured I’d give it a shot. I’m a freshman in high school. And I’m lonely. I have friends. I really do. But, with my school being on block scheduling, there is 2 lunch hours. It just so happens that on one of my days, all of my friends (like, literally- all 10 of the girls I sit with on the other days) have first lunch and I have second. So, what I’ve been doing is going to my library and reading my bible, praying, or getting on here:). I find that after these days it really helps to put my focus back where it needs to be-God. I came up with this idea because I didn’t have anyone to sit with on my lonely days. I figured God would like it, you know? I mean, spending time with Him? It’s a wonderful time for me, and I really look forward to that time with Him. *Side note- there are a few people I know (am not really friends with), but know. They are NOT Christians and talk about things that I know that we shouldn’t be. They use words that are unclean, and all-around are the people God tells us to love, but not be friends with. Do you know what I mean?* Anyways, sometimes the library is closed. That means that my supervisors make me go to the cafeteria. Where I don’t know anyone (that don’t do exactly what Christians are against). So when this happens (about twice a month), I hide in the bathroom. I know. Such a movie thing to do. But I really, really need that time with God (yes, I do read my bible in the bathroom). Is this God trying to make me stop going to the library? I haven’t been a Christian for long, maybe 4 months. I just could really use some Godly counsel. Prayers are also appreciated. Thank you so much, and feel free to leave prayer requests here as well:)

    • Hollybell MN

      Well Lexi,

      I think The Lord is calling you to this and deliberately set you apart. Ask and seek what he want wants you to do. I mean it is obvious.

    • ChristianGirl

      Lexi, I’m sorry you’re lonely. I’m a senior in high school and my school has a block schedule as well. My junior year, I had a hard time finding some friends to sit with but found a couple of girls I met through another friend. I think it’s a good thing that you spend time with God when your friends have a different lunch hour. I don’t know how shy you are, but maybe try to find someone who is sitting alone? As for if God is trying to get you out of the library, I don’t know. Just hang in there, sister.

  • Magdiel De Salas

    Thank you so much for your articles!
    I found loving, caring, and writing to my teenager friends was way more profitable than waiting to see what I was going to receive. 😀

  • ChristianGirl

    I’m pretty sure God led me to this post on Valentines Day. I knew I’d be more vulnerable to feeling alone and invisible. When I asked God for comfort, I thought of this blog. I felt so much better after reading it. My best friend was a comfort too, telling me I’m not alone and that I have Jesus. I focused on the fact that I have friends and family who love me and most of all, that the Savior loves me more than any guy could. It felt better to focus on what I do have than what I don’t have.